Papal Limerick
A middle-aged nun from Sicilia
met a dancing girl, name of Cecilia.
When they switched off the light
it was dark in the night
and the nun said, Cecilia I feel ya.
They were hauled to front up to the Pope,
who was harsh and said 'clemency....Nope'.
then they prayed over tea
and the Pope said 'to me
there is method and madness in dope.'
So he took them into the great hall,
where huge carpets hung high on a wall,
in a locked cedar chest
they found what he liked best
that is all I can tellyou, tis all.
(Well I lied it's a common affliction) ,
which affects normal speech and one's diction,
as the day came to close
he said 'take off your hose
nylon panties cause way too much friction.'
Soon the dope had them snookered and hot,
so the Father went straight to his cot,
there he beckoned and cooed
and the words were all lewd.....
when the girls saw the porcellain pot.
Then the nun who was curious went
had a look at the pot (and the tent) ,
saw the pot full of piss
and declined the big kiss
it was one big predicament.
There were four sturdy palace guards, too
they had nothing too urgent to do,
so the Pope asked them 'please
sit them onto my knees
and take out my old porcellain loo.'
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Cecilia
This is a song about a well-known girl
Who was she?
We will never know the answer to that question
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - youre gonna live forever
According to a well-known song
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - did you come home and to whom?
Simon and garfunkel had a little problem
It was something about their hearts, you used to break
Them, and make them go down on their knees
On and on again
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - youre gonna live forever
According to a well-known song
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - did you come home and to whom?
Romeo and juliet had another story, but they
Were a single pair - not free like you
Still they got a tragical end
So many years ago, life in itself cant hurt
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - did you come home and to whom?
Passion changes but they will still remember you
I say they loved you and they would do the same for you today
Well never know the answer to that question
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - youre gonna live forever
According to a well known song
Cecilia - walk in the light
Cecilia - did you come home and to whom?
Ive been trying to overcome the mental blocks Ive got
If they loved you, why didnt you respond to all their please?
I wonder
I wonder
song performed by by Ace Of Base
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Commanders Of The Faithful
The Pope he is a happy man,
His Palace is the Vatican,
And there he sits and drains his can:
The Pope he is a happy man.
I often say when I'm at home,
I'd like to be the Pope of Rome.
And then there's Sultan Saladin,
That Turkish Soldan full of sin;
He has a hundred wives at least,
By which his pleasure is increased:
I've often wished, I hope no sin,
That I were Sultan Saladin.
But no, the Pope no wife may choose,
And so I would not wear his shoes;
No wine may drink the proud Paynim,
And so I'd rather not be him:
My wife, my wine, I love, I hope,
And would be neither Turk nor Pope.
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.
quote by Pope John XXIII
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
From Hand to Hand
The Pope, God's locum, Our Lord, is someone I'd
Liken to an eternal Father, like Our Eternal Father.
That is, he doesn't die, or, sure he dies, but rather,
To be precise, he only really dies on the outside.
Because when his body leaves off being a governor,
His soul, still stuck in its ancient honour,
Doesn't go to paradise or hell - it ain't a goner -
But passes straight into the body of his successor.
In this way, he can undergo slight changes in his brain,
His stomach, ears, nose, skin, mouth or eyes;
But the Pope, inasmuch as he's a Pope, stays the same.
An that's the reason why every body fated to receive
That kind of dignity, falls down from the sky
Soulless, with nothing else but the power to breathe.
poem by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Our Faces And Our Voices
Dare, care, fare, mare, bare, pare, hare, rare, rare, ware;
Parents have feelings too! !
But just doing it once can also hurt you,
So, try to learn from the positive things in life always.
Extraordinary,
Once is all that it takes;
And like the life of poverty and dependency,
But i am trying to cope with you.
Mope, dope, lope, nope, rope, Pope, hope, cope;
it took me that far! !
But your addiction led to theft;
Shaken,
Collapsed,
Suffered;
And of a copy in black and white,
But she lifted up her voice and wept.
Rose, hose, dose, pose, nose, lose;
You are only a teenager! !
But our character is an integral part of us in life.
Our faces and our voices define who we are physically,
But your character reflects who you are on the inside;
And keeping the law is all that we need,
But, being straight always is the key of life than the negative chains!
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I am more afraid of my own heart than of the pope and all his cardinals. I have within me the great pope, Self.
quote by Martin Luther
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Cecilia
Cecilia
Chorus
Cecilia, youre breaking my heart,
Youre shaking my confidence daily.
Oh cecilia, Im down on my knees,
Im begging you please to come home.
Chorus
Making love in the afternoon with cecilia
Up in my bedroom,
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed,
Someones taken my place.
Chorus
Jubilation,
She loves me again,
I fall on the floor and Im laughing
Jubilation,
She loves me again,
I fall on the floor and Im laughing.
song performed by by Paul Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Dear brothers and sisters, after the great Pope John Paul II, the cardinals have elected me - a simple, humble worker in the vineyard of the Lord.
quote by Pope Benedict XVI
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Once Pope Under Jevais Resolvd To Adventure
Once Pope under Jevais resolvd to adventure
& from a Good Poet Pope turnd an ill painter
So from a Good Painter Charles Jervais we hope
May turn an ill Poet by living with Pope
Then Each may perform the true parts of a friend
While each will have something to blame or commend
poem by Thomas Parnell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Girl
Girl, girl, girl
Thats your life
Girl
Smoking that glass pipe
I come from the city of dope
It couldnt be saved by john the pope
Coz the base head lyric sees the light
Two fat raps to the head last night
Cocaine cocaine, is that your rap
Every day and night its coming back
C-o-c-a-i-n-e
The rich mans high what it used to be
But things looking different in eighty-five
Cocaine, cocaine is that your high
Since age thirteen what have I seen
A lotto of base heads straight coke fiends
Snorting, puffing, thats the life
But its all over when you hit that pipe
Big coke dealers on the knock
All smoked up with no more rocks
Base heads buy, coke from him
But he smokes more than all of them
The big coke man, aint too cool
He smokes more than all you fools
Hes gotta a lotta do, but not a lotta bank
A brand new car with an empty tank
Pretty white smoke all in his chest
And a 84 benz, reposessed
Girl, thats your life
Girl smoking that glass pipe
Fresh young tender only fifteen
Walking on a strip just wanna be seen
Never touch coke a day in her life
But now that girls gotta have her pipe
Coz she met a man his name was jock
Do it to her a good and he smoked a rock
Put it in her joint all crunched up
And now everyday she takes a puff
Girl, thats your life
Girl smoking that glass pipe
I know you know what coke can do
Come into your life and take over you
Now you kicking back thinking bout your dream
But it never comes true coz youre just a coke fiend
You asked your woman whats the prob
She said its you coz you dont do your job
Used to make good love from the start
But now coke had done damage to your private parts
Girl, thats your life
Girl smoking that glass pipe
Your mind is gone your brain is blazed
Youve been wide awake for the last three days
Inhale, exhale you dont care
Coke smoke only no fresh air
You cant even talk you dont wanna listen
You and your body on that cocaine mission
Three days straight wheres your mind
Its gonna out of town and your brain is fried
Just smoke and choke until youre broke
Just smoke that coke until you croke
And it would be, I cant lie
No great loss if you should die
Coz your life is wrecked, you girl is checked
She chose on my and I was set
I took her home to make my move
But she wanted to base she was just like you
song performed by by Too Short
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Pope John Paul II (A Biography Poem Sequence-3)
Faith of the Millennial Pope: contd
No papal word touches man’s heart,
Howev’r appealing, full of art,
Unless refined by grace of God,
And blessed by Christ himself, the Lord.
The pope did therefore meet his sheep,
To pray for them and even weep,
Converting souls through God’s own grace,
And throwing queries on their face!
To him, man’s faith was number one;
All things were next under the sun;
His moments with the people meant,
Reconciling with transcendent!
His motorcade was majestic –
The moments inspiring, magic;
His rendezvous with God’s creatures
Gave occasion for great lectures!
Each moment was a bolt from blue;
Lost sheep to God, the pope would woo;
The moment was mystical too;
To souls, much goodness, it would do.
The pope shared his testimony;
That didn’t stem from greed of money;
The pope bore witness to his faith;
‘God only changes sinner’s fate’.
His heart was Catholic, fierce and true;
By quest for truth, he would move, do;
Miracles did happen in life;
Both faith and tongue worked like a knife!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 12-01-2009
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Pope And Tiger Woods
The Pope dies on the very day
that Tiger Woods is whisked away,
their souls rise to the distant skies
where they soon meet with a surprise.
Administrative bungling can
affect in many ways a man,
the Pope (with nothing to repent)
was quickly to the Devil sent.
While Tiger passed the Pearly Gate
where he soon found a golfing mate.
The error was discovered though
St. Peter sent a note below
and told the Devil to release
the Holy Man, and promptly please.
The Devil liked the gentle tone
and put down his red Nokia phone,
next day the Pope was sent to Heaven
at fifteen minutes to eleven.
He met, halfway that Tiger bloke
who looked dejected, sad and broke
he said dear Sir, I'm truly sad
that clerk, he must have been quite mad,
I do belong of course in Hell
and you in Heaven, Sir, be well.
The Pope said son I am excited
and glad this mix-up now is righted,
and Virgin Mary....I can't wait!
Said Tiger, sorry one day late.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
quote by Pope John Paul I
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I wouldn't take the Pope too seriously. He's a Pole first, a pope second, and maybe a Christian third.
quote by Muriel Spark
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The new pope knows that his task is to make the light of Christ shine before men and women of world - not his own light, but that of Christ.
quote by Pope Benedict XVI
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Cause You Be Da Man!
Why should I forgive you?
Why after all this time,
You come to me to ask forgiveness.
I am not the pope.
The pope did his thing and split.
After his papal visit.
He came to Babylon.
But his message did not entertain,
Their self righteousness.
So he left. Moved on.
To begin the affects of one rule!
Under One Federation of Collected Nations,
We stand.
That will be the order of the land.
Why should I forgive you?
When you should forgive yourself.
For being the perfect tool to be used...
And played like a fool!
To not know this AND accept.
'Yes...
My holy 'Godfather'.
Anything you command.
'Cause you be da man! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
While we are the Pope we'll pontificate; who knows if we'll be Pope another time.
Mea Culpa'd
Crusades, blood libels, inquisitions and conversions that were forced,
indifference to the blood of helpless Jews spilt in the holocaust,
a litany of crimes for which the Pope should use his bully pulpit,
and yet equivocates while in denial, hardly mea culpa’d,
will be forgotten soon, because the mantra never to forget
itself will be forgotten and the crimes of Nazi will be set
aside, diminished in importance by great other acts of genocide
and claims they never happened to six million, and the Jews just lied.
Pope John Paul II has expressed condemnation regarding the acts of the Church against the Jews but has failed to admit that the responsibility was not that of individual Catholics but of the Church. Furthermore, he maintains an eerie silence about the passive role that the Church as a whole, as Pope Pius XII in particular (whom he wishes to canonize) played during the Holocaust.
I wrote the first quatrain on 3/14/00 and the second on 2/10/-0, compiling my poems on the Shoah.
3/14/00,2/10/09
poem by Gershon Hepner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Anybody can be Pope; the proof of this is that I have become one.
quote by Pope John XXIII
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The pope and a peasant know more between them than the pope alone.