Owt Fer Nowt
‘No subscription fee
No fines for late returns
No charges at the library’
Whoopee! It’s free!
A man giving away
A very old car
Put a sign outside his house
Whoopee! It’s free!
And nobody came
It was too cheap
Too cheap by far
So he upped the stakes
Fifty pounds said the bright new sign
And before he turned his back
Somebody had stolen the very old car
The car priced at fifty quid
So the moral is:
‘Not even a thief likes owt fer nowt
©2009
James Hart
poem by James Hart
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Makin' Whoopee
Another bride
Another June
Another sunny - honeymoon
Another season
Another reason
For makin' whoopee
A lot o' shoes
A lot o' rice
The groom is nervous
He answers twice
It's really killin'
That he's so willin'
To make whoopee
Picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest
See what a year can bring
He's washin' dishes
And baby clo-othes
He's so ambitious
He even sews
But don't forget folks
That's what you get folks
For makin' whoopee
He's washin' dishes
And baby clo-othes
He's so ambitious
He even sews
But don't forget folks
That's what you get folks
For makin' whoopee, whoopee, whoopee-ee
song performed by by Nat King Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Makin Whoopee!
Another bride, another june
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin whoopee
A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous, he answers twice
Its really killin
That hes so willin to make whoopee
Now picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest
Think what a year can bring, yes
Hes washin dishes and baby clothes
Hes so ambitious he even sews
But dont forget folks,
Thats what you get folks, for makin whoopee
Another year, maybe less
Whats this I hear? well, cant you guess?
She feels neglected, and hes suspected
Of makin whoopee
Yeah, she sits alone,
Most every night
He doesnt phone, he doesnt write
He says hes busy,
But she says, is he?
Hes makin whoopee
Now he doesnt make much money
Only five thousand per
Some judge who thinks hes funny
Says, youll pay six to her.
He says, now judge, suppose I fail?
Judge say, budge. right into jail.
Youd better keep her. I think its cheaper
Than makin whoopee.
Yes, yeah, you better keep her
Daddy, I think its cheaper
Then makin whoopee
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Git Along Little Dogies
As I was walking one morning for pleasure
I spied a cowpuncher riding along
His hat was throwed back and his spurs were a-jingling
And as he approached he was singing this song
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
Early in the springtime we round up the dogies
Mark 'em and brand 'em and bob off their tails
Round up the horses, load up the chuck wagon
Then throw the little dogies out on the long trail
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
Night comes on and we hold 'em on the bedground
The same little dogies that rolled on so slow
We roll up the herd and cut out the stray ones
Then roll the little dogies like never before
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
Some boys go up the long trail for pleasure
But that's where they get it most awfully wrong
For you'll never know the trouble they give us
As we go drivin' them dogies along
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little dogies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little dogies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
song performed by by Nickel Creek
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Don’t be cheap
Buy not a thing because it’s cheap.
Don’t let others make you cheap.
To be greedy is to be cheap.
To be selfish is to be cheap.
To poke your nose is a cheap thing.
Don’t be cheap; better be poor.
23.08.2009
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Makin' Whoopee
(duet with Tony Bennett)
Another bride, another June
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin' whoopee
A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous, he answers twice
Its really killin' that he's so willin' to make whoopee
Picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest
And think what a year can bring
He's washin dishes and baby clothes
He's so ambitious he even sews
But don't forget folks,
Thats what you get folks, for makin' whoopee
song performed by by Cyndi Lauper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Talk Is Cheap
(Van Morrison)
Kicked your gift-horse in the teeth
Crowd gathered round in the street
You killed your saviour new one can't be found
Talk is cheap your saviour's highway bound
You read the tabloids every day
They're giving lots of things away
They went to build you up
So they can bring you down
Talk is cheap it's gonna
Could make them a million pounds
Now baby don't put your business on the telephone
Tell your girlfriend just to leave me alone
Tell her to watch her mouth before she talks to anybody anybody
Oh 'cos talk is cheap it comes with the territory
Sometimes it's back-to-front sometimes it's upside down
Put your money where your mouth is when you come around
Backbiters and syndicators walking from chinatown
Oh talk is cheap why don't you lay your money down
Well they say you can't shut up a god damn fool
Ain't no exception to the rule
It's blah, blah, blah, blah
Just like a nursery rhyme
Talk is cheap almost all the time
Alright
Yes, talk is cheap
Almost all the time
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
50 ways to leave your lover
Words & music by paul simon
The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
Id like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
She said its really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning wont be lost or misconstrued
But Ill repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free
Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just listen to me <-----------
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free
She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways
She said why dont we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning youll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free
You just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just listen to me <------------
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free
song performed by by Paul Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like 'Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me' or 'Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed' Man, quit being so cheap
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Love Or Something Like It
Show me a bar with a good lookin woman
then just get out of my way
show me the jukebox, i'll tell you a song you should play
sooner a later a few shots of bourbon
and i'll think of somethin to say
whoa, I can take her or leave her
but I like to take her away
Liquor and music, a good combination
if you've got love on the brain
I never knew two women who acted the same
some want a drink first
and some want to just sit and talk
whoa, oh, it's two in the morning
I'm running and she wants to walk
Something's got a hold on me
it's cheap but it ain' free
love or somethin like it's got a hold on me
That's when I asked her
my place or your place
I hope I'm not out of line
I asked the wrong thing
but just the right woman this time
cause she knew a hotel
she even had a name we could sign
whoa, oh, the cheaper the grapes are
the sweeter the taste of the wine
Something's got a hold on me
it's cheap but it ain' free
love or somethin like it's got a hold on me
Something's got a hold on me
it's cheap but it ain't free
love or somethin like it's got a hold on me
love or somethin damn near like it's got a hold on me
song performed by by Kenny Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Fahrenheit 451
Yeah
Fahrenheit four fifty-one
Ya
Fahrenheit four fifty-one
Smoke is in the air now
Its been spreading just like wild-fire all over town
Everybody wants to get in on the latest thing
Going down to the bookstore - burn that mother down
Ya
Somebody has to do whats right
Fahrenheit four fifty-one
Burning black and white
Well I got some education
I go down to the library every night
And Im looking for somebody with a dream like mine
We could share a few pages round the fire so bright
Now its spreading cross the nation
And its time to seize the moment, thats what they says
cause its all been well reported in the daily news,
You can read all about it before it turns to ashes
song performed by by Utopia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Contract In Love
written by Lamont Dozier, Janie Bradford, & Brian Holland
(c) 1962 Jobete Music Co., Inc. (ASCAP)
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign it
Sign it
Sign it
Sign it
You say you love me
And I believe it's true
But before I let myself go
Here's what you've got to do
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
You've got to sign
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
My contract on love
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Write it in your heart
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
That you'll never do anything
To ever make us part
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
Yeah, I know it may seem strange to you
Yeah, but I've lost a love so many times before
Yeah, and now that I know the score
No one's gonna hurt me no more
And I'm takin' all my chances with romances
Yeah
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
So just sign
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Right here on this dotted line
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Where it says you'll be mine, all mine
(You, you, you'd better sign it)
Until the end of time
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
So come on, come on, come on, and
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, right here on this line
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Yeah
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
(Sign it)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign my contract on love
(Baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
FADE
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Nineteen-Fifty-Two
I wish things were,
the same now, as then,
i wish I was there, instead of here.
In nineteen-fifty-two,
things were simple, and so care-free,
you alway, had something to do
You could see a movie,
or buy, a comic or pop for the price of a dime
everone's favorite saying, was groovie.
Drugs were no problem, at all,
crime also, was very down
young Willie May, was even playing ball.
Children had respect, even for their parents
three-D was really in,
and everyone had good merit's
In nine-teen-fifty-two,
Ike was elected president
and I wasn't feeling blue
I know the past
is gone, you can't go back
time really goes on fast
I wished then, I could've made a forecast
nineteen-fifty-two, only now a memory,
looking back, life has been good, at last.
Bronco Bill's Lament
I coulda been most anything I put my mind to be,
But a cowboy's life was the only life for me.
It's a strong man's occupation ridin' herd and livin' free,
But strong men often fail
Where shrewd men can prevail,
I'm an old man now with nothin' left to say,
But oh god how I worked my youth away.
Well you may not recognise my face, I used to be a star,
A cowboy hero known both near and far.
I perched upon a silver mount and sang with my guitar,
But the studio of course,
owned my saddle and my horse,
But that six-gun on the wall belongs to me,
Oh god I can't live a memory.
You know I'd like to put my finger on that trigger once again,
And point that gun at all the prideful men.
All the voyeurs and the lawyers who can pull a fountain pen,
And put you where they choose,
With the language that they use,
And enslave you till you work your youth away,
Oh god how I worked my youth away.
Whoopee ty yioh
Whoopee ty yi ay,
One man's work is another man's play
Oh god how I worked my youth away.
You see I always liked the notion of a cowboy fighting crime,
This photograph was taken in my prime,
I could beat those desperados but there's no sense fightin' time,
But the singin' was a ball
Cause I'm not musical at all,
I moved my lips to someone else's voice.
Repeat verse 1
song performed by by Don McLean
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Contract On Love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign my contract on love
Baby, baby, sign it
Sign it
Sign it
Sign it
You say you love me
And I believe its true
But before I let myself go
Heres what youve got to do
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
Youve got to sign
(you, you, youd better sign it)
My contract on love
(you, you, youd better sign it)
Write it in your heart
(you, you, youd better sign it)
That youll never do anything
To ever make us part
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
Yeah, I know it may seem strange to you
Yeah, but Ive lost a love so many times before
Yeah, and now that I know the score
No ones gonna hurt me no more
And Im takin all my chances with romances
Yeah
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
So just sign
(you, you, youd better sign it)
Right here on this dotted line
(you, you, youd better sign it)
Where it says youll be mine, all mine
(you, you, youd better sign it)
Until the end of time
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
So come on, come on, come on, and
Sign, yeah
(baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, right here on this line
(baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Yeah
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
(sign it)
Sign, yeah
(baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign, yeah
(baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
Sign my contract on love
(baby, baby, sign my contract on love)
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Shouting' For A Camel
It was over at Coolgardie that a mining speculator,
Who was going down the township just to make a bit o' chink,
Went off to hire a camel from a camel propagator,
And the Afghan said he'd lend it if he'd stand the beast a drink.
Yes, the only price he asked him was to stand the beast a drink.
He was cheap, very cheap, as the dromedaries go.
So the mining speculator made the bargain, proudly thinking
He had bested old Mahomet, he had done him in the eye.
Then he clambered on the camel, and the while the beast was drinking
He explained with satisfaction to the miners standing by
That 'twas cheap, very cheap, as the dromedaries go.
But the camel kept on drinking and he filled his hold with water,
And the more he had inside him yet the more he seemed to need;
For he drank it by the gallon, and his girths grew taut and tauter,
And the miners muttered softly, 'Yes he's very dry indeed!
But he's cheap, very cheap, as dromedaries go.'
So he drank up twenty buckets, it was weird to watch him suck it,
(And the market price for water was per bucket half-a-crown)
Till the speculator stopped him, saying, 'Not another busket,
If I give him any more there'll be a famine in the town.
Take him back to old Mahomet, and I'll tramp it through the town.'
He was cheap, very cheap, as the speculators go.
There's a moral to this story, in your hat you ought to paste it,
Be careful whom you shout for when a camel is about,
And there's plenty human camels who, before they'll see you waste it,
Will drink up all you pay for if you're fool enough to shout;
If you chance to strike a camel when you're fool enough to shout,
You'll be cheap, very cheap, as the speculators go.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
“Shouting” for a Camel
It was over at Coolgardie that a mining speculator,
Who was going down the township just to make a bit o' chink,
Went off to hire a camel from a camel propagator,
And the Afghan said he'd lend it if he'd stand the beast a drink.
Yes, the only price he asked him was to stand the beast a drink.
He was cheap, very cheap, as the dromedaries go.
So the mining speculator made the bargain, proudly thinking
He had bested old Mahomet, he had done him in the eye.
Then he clambered on the camel, and the while the beast was drinking
He explained with satisfaction to the miners standing by
That 'twas cheap, very cheap, as the dromedaries go.
But the camel kept on drinking and he filled his hold with water,
And the more he had inside him yet the more he seemed to need;
For he drank it by the gallon, and his girths grew taut and tauter,
And the miners muttered softly, 'Yes he's very dry indeed!
But he's cheap, very cheap, as dromedaries go.'
So he drank up twenty buckets -- it was weird to watch him suck it,
(And the market price for water was per bucket half-a-crown)
Till the speculator stopped him, saying, 'Not another bucket --
If I give him any more there'll be a famine in the town.
Take him back to old Mahomet, and I'll tramp it through the town.'
He was cheap, very cheap, as the speculators go.
There's a moral to this story -- in your hat you ought to paste it --
Be careful whom you shout for when a camel is about,
And there's plenty human camels who, before they'll see you waste it,
Will drink up all you pay for if you're fool enough to shout;
If you chance to strike a camel when you're fool enough to shout,
You'll be cheap, very cheap, as the speculators go.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Open Book's Monologue Part 5: Welcome To The Library!
Welcome to the library! come one come all
Welcome to the library! come with your brethren on this wall
Welcome to the library! come all you books tattered or new
Welcome to the library! come tired and overdue
Yes welcome to the library the place where you're most mundane
Yes welcome to the library the place where you're to endure most pain
Yes welcome to the library where you'll sit unwanted
Yes welcome to the library where you'll sit haunted
Yes welcome to the library where everyone's just like you
Yes welcome to the library where we're all books too!
Yes welcome to the library where you can take comfort
Yes welcome to the library where In the fact you're no longer unique
Yes welcome to the library You're just pen marks ink
Departing the library? I think not, even if you get out we'll bring you back
Departing the library? Here you rot, but we'll dust you to ease your passing
Departing the library? Don't make me laugh, here you're black and white
Departing the library? Nobody argues on your behalf, look more amassing
Welcome to the library! A place of keeping and safety
Welcome to the library! Take your place you'll like it, just wait and see
Welcome to the library! New books don't mind the old they're disillusioned
Welcome to the library! You've sold your soul... but it's too late for you
so WELCOME
poem by David Knox
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Over Use
A quote goes cheap if over used.
A queen goes cheap if over seen.
A guest goes cheap if overstayed.
Otherwise also they’ll expire stale
(26.06.2011)
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Cheap An Nasty
(coverdale/vandenberg)
Come on baby...
I get so confused,
But, my heart knows youre one of a kind
Leather an lace, an angels face,
Riding on a one track mind
Youre fully loaded with cruise control,
My four wheels rock with your back seat roll
Youre cheap an nasty,
All you wanna do is give it up, give it up
Cheap an nasty,
Come on an do the dirty with me
I get so excited, babe, when Im invited
To ride in your limousine,
You drive it every day, burn it every night,
I wonder how you keep it so clean
Smooth accelerator, you get me so loose,
You keep your motor running till I run out of juice
Youre cheap an nasty,
All you wanna do is give it up, give it up
Cheap an nasty,
Come on an do the dirty with me
Cheap an nasty
I never knew it could be this way
An I never thought Id ever complain,
But, gimme a second just to catch my breath
Babe, before you do it again
All the boys call your name
Down the wishing well,
Baby, when you go
Youre like a cat out of hell
Youre cheap an nasty,
All you wanna do is give it up, give it up
Cheap an nasty,
All you wanna do is give it up, give it up
Cheap an nasty,
All you wanna do is give it up, give it up
Cheap an nasty,
Come on an do the dirty with me
Come on an do the dirty,
Come on an do the dirty,
Come on an do the dirty with me
Come on an do the dirty with me...
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Angela
If you like everything cheap,
You will die and be buried cheap as well!
For i am a citizen of the world and,
I came looking for you with my love.
Of the moral decadence among the youth and,
Of the rain of love on the other side;
Angela my love,
If there are no teachers there will be no students!
So try to lay the truth very bare for all to see.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!