Monday Morning Obituary
He died of an overdose
of television sports.
He left life as as he had lived it,
Sitting back in his recliner
a beer in his hand and
his wife in the kitchen
making up another batch
of buttered popcorn
The funeral will be videotaped
so any of his friends
that might be so inclined
can watch it in their homes
during commercials
or at the half-time break.
Related quotes
Overdose
As I overdose these pills,
Watch me die,
Bring me back to life if you can,
Pump these pills out of me,
Save me,
Can you save yourself,
Overdo on things,
Watch me as I overdose,
Watch as these doctors pump these pills out of me,
Go up on the hill,
Go scream your heart out,
I might hear you but I might be dead,
Poison leading through my body,
As I lay dying on floor,
Overdose these pills,
As I sleep,
Sleeping forever,
For know one knows what had happen to me,
The story of my life will end soon,
As soon as I overdose these pills,
Remember me when I am done,
Just one memory of me,
As I overdose on these pills that will end my life,
Thinking why should I end my life or how I should I get it,
I guess it natural for me to think these thoughts,
But someday soon I will overdose.
poem by Jennifer Rondeau
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sex In The Kitchen
Girl you're in the kitchen
Cooking me a meal
Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel
Walk around in your t-shirt
Nothing else on
Strutting pass, switching that ass while I'm on the phone
Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes
Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang
I want
Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed
How would you like it, baby
(How would you like that?)
Tell me right now pretty baby
Hey man, I'm gon call you back
Girl you're in the kitchen, chillin in your robe
I'm saying to myself she better go put on some clothes
Tickling and teasing
Doing that little dance
Girl, you gon make me lay you down and give it to you one mo 'gain
[Chorus 2x]
Girl I'm ready to toss your salad
While I'm making love, I'll be feasting
Girl you're in the kitchen
Sweating up a storm
The oven's on 500
So you know the kitchen's warm
Girl you know just how to get into a brother's mind
Cause here we are still in this kitchen
Doing it for the third time
[Chorus (fades out)]
song performed by by R. Kelly
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sex In The Kitchen (remix)
Girl, you're in the kitchen
Cooking me a meal
Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel
Walk around in your t-shirt
Nothing else on
Strutting past, switching that ass while I'm on the phone
Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes
Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang that
I want
Sex in the kitchen, over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed
How would you like it, baby
(would you like that)
Tell me right now, pretty baby
Hey man, I'm gon' call you back
Girl, you're in the kitchen, chillin' in your robe
I'm saying to myself, "She better go put on some clothes"
Tickling and teasing, doing that little dance
Girl, you gon' make me lay you down
And give it to you one mo 'gain
[chorus 2x]
Girl, I'm ready to toss your salad
While I'm making love, I'll be feasting
Girl, you're in the kitchen
Sweating up a storm
The oven's on five hundred
So you know the kitchen's warm
Girl, you know just how to get into a brother's mind
Cause here we are still in this kitchen
Doing it for the third time
[chorus till fade]
song performed by by R. Kelly
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back In Time
Last night; I went back in time
To see my wife if we never had met
I saw my ways, and my upcoming days
And my soul, was full of regret.
She wasn't there, but was in my prayer
As I surveyed the new life that I lived
And I walked alone, in my empty home
As my love for her I couldn't give.
I looked for her, and she couldn't be found
Last night when I went back in time,
So I searched her world, left nothing unfurled
But for her, nothing about her could I find.
So without me she took another path
Because then we had never met
But I stayed on that road, until I died old
Because no other woman in my heart would I let.
Then I had my thought when I awoke from my dream
And my woman she couldn't be found
So I closed my eyes and I sat down to cry
As my world was flipped upside down.
I remember now that she had left me
To be in the arms of another man
She was my love my life, my woman my wife
Now she's holding another mans heart and hand.
Why she left me; GOD will only know
But the love I felt once will never be mine,
I did nothing wrong, just loved her to strong,
Now again I wish, to go back in time.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Buttered Popcorn
My baby likes
(Buttered popcorn) Uh-huh!
(Buttered popcorn) Oh-hoh!
(Buttered popcorn) Oh yeah!
(Buttered popcorn) Oh!
He likes it greasy (buttered popcorn)
And sticky (buttered popcorn)
And gooey (buttered popcorn)
And salty (buttered popcorn)
I said
song performed by by Supremes from Meet the Supremes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We were sitting on the bus one day and there were 5 of us hanging out. There was only one beer left in the cooler and we actually all took a little cup and split it. It was a pathetic day in a rock and roll when five grown men have to be sitting there sharing a beer.
quote by Zakk Wylde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Days I Let Slip Away
My days seem to be slipping away from me
And no matter how much money
I have I will never get those days back
That I just let drift away
My time is being wasted
It's like buying dollar toys
That you only play with once
And forget about them
And it seems like steal
Because there only a dollar
And you want something
To occupy your time
I hear the birds chirping outside my window
And I look at the clock and it goes click
Like the remote in my hand
I sit on the couch and watch
Other people live there lives
While I am just letting my days slip away
Sitting here watching the television
My television paints a picture of life
That I want, but isn't real
Life is so much better on the television
Wedding Band
Joey Wedding Band
JoAnn was the birth name of my wife
To me Joey was her name for a lot of our married life
One of the best things anyone could ask for in life
Is to have a good and loving wife
When it comes time for me to pass no matter day or night
I hope and pray that my wife will be my guiding light
I did not complement my wife as much as I could of
But with all my heart I gave her my love
My wife is in heaven watching over our family
Hoping we could be the best we could be
I am now living by myself and on my own
I have my dogs and my family but I feel alone
I never thought I knew how bad pain could ever be
Until my wife died and left me
At times my wife lets me know she is near
She turns off the picture frame to let me know she is here
On a chain around my neck I wear my wife’s wedding band
I also still wear mine on the finger of my left hand
To anyone who reads this poem do not let the time with your family go
Everything is gone before you know
poem by Michael Gelb
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Beds To The Front Of Them
'Beds to the front of them,
Beds to the right of them,
Beds to the left of them,
Nobody blundered.
Beamed at by hungry souls,
Screamed at with brimming bowls,
Steamed at by army rolls,
Buttered and sundered.
With coffee not cannon plied,
Each must be satisfied,
Whether they lived or died;
All the men wondered.'
poem by Louisa May Alcott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nebuchadnezzar
If my wife is so beautiful,
Leave her to me alone than sleeping with her;
For there are all types of churches on the Mount of Corruption!
The left hand washes the right hand and,
The right hand washes the left hand too;
So let us keep on going in this status of life.
Nebuchadnezzar, you are camping my wife like she is for you;
But i am loved by Yahweh to fight on!
So do leave my wife alone for me.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Alankar (Decor) -30
Kitchen clash (Double Rondeau)
How difficult it is to cook
In hot summer how a wife to cook
'Take rest, shall buy food from outside'
He says with concern on her side
Wife is happy she need not cook
Happy so life runs like a brook
Variety food, pleased they look
Seasoned hot, they know kitchen's stride
How difficult
Time in hand changed is her outlook
Changed is also her old cook-look
Styleless to stylish in set glide
Makes her new with glow to her pride
She can speak on her strife to cook
How difficult
How difficult but back a cook?
Daughter visits with siren look
There, stirs in dad's heart a high tide
Sneaks'cooking has been set aside
These days mom does not at all cook'
Enough for her to word and hook
Daughter counsels mom back to cook
To be in shifty husband's stride
How difficult!
Luck is but a wheel in life-book
So such a wife can't overlook
And mom vows never to abide
Honeyed words but put them aside
Blamed wife telling herself 'to cook
How difficult! '
poem by Indira Renganathan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dave
Tired of his long uphill battle in life
And tired of being nagged by his cranky old wife
Dave feels like a bird rejected by his flock
And the chip on his shoulder has grown to a block.
Tired of the fellows he meet at the pub
Waffling on about their football club
The praises of their sporting heroes so many do sing
Sports or sports people for him doesn't do anything.
His wife Lyn and he in ideas far apart
All the love he had for her gone out of his heart
Together under the one roof they may be growing old
But now towards each other they seem very cold.
Their only child a son Sam in his mid twenties lives and works in Japan
One who is successful a clever young man
He feels happy in his life on a distant shore
And they have not seen him for three years or more.
On his own at the Local pub he sits and drinks his beer
Grown men talking of football he does not wish to hear
And when he goes home he must cook his own tea
Since he and his Mrs Lyn do not agree.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dispatch Me From the Batch
Dispatch me from the batch,
Of those who wish a rematch back...
To patch relationships that cracked.
As if life lived is meant for that!
I want,
True happiness.
I need,
To feel ecstatic...
In romantic graphic snatches,
That does not leave a single scratch.
Or a fighting done with a tit for tat!
I hope,
For a love that's known.
To be,
Shared and known.
And feel...
It always there,
To grow with two who are aware.
Dispatch me from the batch,
Of those who wish a rematch back...
To patch relationships that cracked.
As if life lived is meant for that!
I want,
True happiness.
I need,
To feel ecstatic...
In romantic graphic snatches,
That does not leave a single scratch.
Or a fighting done with a tit for tat!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thats Why Im Here
(shaye smith/mark alan springer)
No I aint had nothing to drink
I knew thats probably what youd think
If I dropped by this time of night
Remember way back when
I promised you Id drop in
At one of those meetings down at the y
Well, they started talkin bout steps you take
Mistakes you make
The hearts you break
And the price you pay
I almost walked away
You could hear a pin drop
When this old man
Stood up and said Im gonna say it again
Like I do every week
For those who dont know me
Its the simple things in life
Like the kids at home and a loving wife
That you miss the most, when you lose control
And everything you love starts to disappear
The devil takes your hand and says no fear
Have another shot, just one more beer
Yah, Ive been there, thats why Im here
This ole boy stood up in the aisle
Said hed been living a life of denial
And he cried as he talked about wasted years
I couldnt believe what I heard
It was my life word for word
And all of the sudden it was clear
Its the simple things in life
Like the kids at home and a loving wife
That you miss the most, when you lose control
And everything you love starts to disappear
The devil takes your hand and says no fear
Have another shot, just one more beer
Yah, Ive been there, thats why Im here
I know for us it may be too late
But it would mean the world to me
If you were there when I stand to say
Its the simple things in life
Like the kids at home and a loving wife
That you miss the most, when you lose control
And everything you love starts to disappear
The devil takes your hand and says no fear
Have another shot, just one more beer
Yah, Ive been there, thats why Im here
Oh, Ive been there, thats why Im here
song performed by by Kenny Chesney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady Of The Light
You were always the faithful one
with a saviour in your heart
you had seen the light of the Lord
from the very start.
even in your darkest days
and the autumn of your life
you never lost faith in the Lord
lady of the light.
Now you have left this life
and in us a memory
but we all think of you
and how you used to be
you had been the special one
when you lived your life
with a special kind of love
lady of the light.
And when I look back on life
I often think of you
looking out your window
the way you used to do
watching children go off to school
in the morning light
smiling to the world outside
lady of the light.
Now you are there in Heaven
and back again once more
with those who you had loved
who had to go before
always forever the faithful one
when you lived your life
for you had seen the light of the Lord
lady of the light.
poem by Tim Kitchen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Day That I Die
One day I woke up woke up knowing today is the day I will die
Cashdogg was barking went to the park and enjoyed that one last time
Called my mother told her I loved her and begged her not to cry
Wrote her a letter that said Id miss her and signed that goodbye...
You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I die
(the day that I died)
Can you feel the cold tonight?
(the day that I died)
It sets in but its alright
(the day that I died)
Darkness falls Im letting go
(the day that I died)
All alone but I feel fine
We took a drive and we drove thru d.c.
To see the places we lived, long conversations
We talked of old friends and all the things that we did
Summer nights, drunken fights
Mistakes we made...did we live it right?
You know the happiest day of my life I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I died
(the day that I died)
Can you feel the cold tonight?
(the day that I died)
It sets in but its alright
(the day that I died)
Darkness falls Im letting go
(the day that I died)
All alone but I feel just fine
You know the happiest day of my life
I know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I died
(the day that I died)
Can you feel the cold tonight?
(the day that I died)
It sets in but its alright
(the day that I died)
Darkness falls Im letting go
(the day that I died)
All alone but I feel just fine
Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right
I hope I lived it right, I know I lived it right
Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right, I know I lived it right
song performed by by Good Charlotte
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Buttered Peas With Crushed Red Pepper
Don't take the peas up off my plate.
That irritates.
Don't even think about sneaking them.
They are there for me to eat.
And I want every pea,
Left for me to satiate.
I buttered them to taste.
With baby onions they taste great.
Fix your eyes in another place.
Back your nose up off my plate.
Buttered peas with crushed red pepper.
Fix your eyes in another place.
No other buttered bean or pea taste better.
Take your eyes up off my plate.
I buttered them to taste.
With baby onions they taste great.
Buttered peas with crushed red pepper.
Take your eyes up off my plate.
And don't your think about sneaking a pea!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Working At The Factory
All my life I've been a workin' man
When I was at school they said that's all you'll ever understand
No profession. I didn't figure in their plans
So they sent me down factory to be a workin' man
All I lived for, All I lived for
All I lived for was to get out of the factory
Now I'm here seemingly free, but working at the factory.
The music came along and gave new life to me
And gave me hope back in 1983
The music came and set me free
From working at the factory
All I lived for, All I lived for
All I lived for was to get out of the factory
All I lived for, All I lived for
All I lived for was to get out of the factory
Never wanted to be like everybody else
But now there are so many like me sitting on the shelf
They sold us a dream but in reality
It was just another factory
I made the music , thought that was mine
It made me free , but that was in another time
But then the corporations and the big combines
Turned musicians into factory workers on assembly lines.
All I lived for, All I lived for
All I lived for was to get out of the factory
We made the music to set ourselves free
From working at the factory.
All my life I've put in a working day
Now it's sign the contract. Get production on the way
Take the money, make the music pay
Working at the factory
All I lived for was to get out of the factory.
Never wanted to be like everybody else
But now there are so many like me sitting on the shelf
They sold us a dream but in reality
Was just another factory
Working at the factory.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Doctor’s Mistake
As towns flourish and teem with life
Of all colours and creeds
In one of them lived with his wife
A doctor, with certain needs
Life and practice were more than good
He’d friends on every side
Yet took to drugs so oft he could
Which soon would turn the tide
One day a bad mistake was made
A fault he tried to hide
With pills a man in bed was laid
Who very nearly died
His medicine was wrong of course
The doctor was so high
The dose he gave could kill a horse
A man would surely die
For many years the doctor’s wife
Had prayed both night and day
For God to change her husband’s life
And take the drugs away
Her prayers were heard God saw how sad
His daughter lived with tears
Although her husband’s deeds were bad
God freed them of their fears
The doctor’s heart began to melt
He joined his wife in prayer
“Oh Lord my God what guilt I’ve felt
Since knowing You are there”
Salvation came because a wife
Had knelt in fervent prayer
Not only had her husband life
But now! Life’s Truth they share.
poem by Michael P. Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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HIV/ AIDS Anecdotal Poems
She loved a man and he was young;
He loved her back and had some fun;
They married too and some years passed;
They both died young, left child orphan!
He was a trucker working hard;
He used to come home twice a month;
He was a wayward, smoker, drunk;
He died of AIDS, infecting wife!
A police husband’s wife was nurse;
The man gave HIV to her;
When he died, she took ART;
She died too when she stopped her drugs!
It was a jolly trip for boys;
They enjoyed well, sang, drank and danced;
Some strayed into the red-light zone;
All of them developed AIDS sometime!
Young boys and girls do venture young
To know what love-making’s about;
Adults have sex outside marriage;
And when AIDS strikes, they are soon dead!
Even the rich and literate
Succumb to pleasures that can kill;
Homosexuality, IDU
Can turn you sero-positive!
Why risk your one life precious most?
God wants the human race stay pure;
You cannot live by whims, fancies;
You are duty-bound till you die!
‘Avoid all risks of HIV exposure
Keep your mind, body’s composure’
Copyright by Dr John Celes 1-12-2011
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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