En.Citatepedia^®.ro

Levator Ani Is King

As to pussies I (frankly) prefer
just plain smoothness and none of that fur.
As the alley is paved
so the cave must be shaved
then the motorcar truly will purr.

It is eerie and dark in a cave,
just the place for the bold and the brave.
I go deep in the tunnel
with my smooth-talking funnel
he is conqueror, warrior and slave.

There are times when I wonder about
and my mind is all swollen with doubt,
praise the shape of the boob,
her endogenous lube
and the squirt-on-command litle spout.

Skip biology, physics and math,
be a bum or a sociopath,
buy a pink rubber duck
then rely on your luck
and play submarine search in the bath.

You pretend that you've lost the old soap,
(and you never use soap on a rope) ,
with your fingers you feel
(you can start at the heel) ,
soon both of you giggle and grope.

Did you ever consider that God
who himself wears a dangle-schlong-rod,
would be asking us folks
to be wearing those yokes?
Rather silly I say and too odd.

So, in closing I say you must act
as if all of the playcards were stacked
with the joker in front
if you pardon the punt
let the levator ani contract.

poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Skip Away

I was walking, talking today
And a little girl came skipping my way
Reciting some silly nonsense song
Wasn't long before she was gone

' skip a rope '

A good friend in the middle of the night
rang up involved in her plight
On her behalf could I say a few words
Why of course and now they are heard

' skip a rope '

Then when the Sun comes out to play
We all perk up and listen to her say
Then we all smile from deeply inside
And from within the Sunshine can't hide

' skip a rope '

And with sadness you have to go
Across the ocean so far it's so
But when you land you extend your hand
from there to here and back again

' skip a rope '

poem by Midnights Voice
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A strong Bear, a poor cave

A quarrel took place,
Between a tight, narrow cave,
and a huge, black, hairy bear.
the poor cave was afraid of,
her narrowness,
the bear had no fear.

Actually, the bear was
in search of a cave,
where he could spent
his night merrily,
his mission was to hide himself,
by all means, fair or unfair.
The bear begged the shelter,
from the cave to get entered,
but cave denied.

she said, ' I am not wide.
if I take you in,
you may get me in trouble,
every thing mine get in disorder.
how can you stay in me quite?
seek other place to-night.'
The bear snored a loud,
as if, thunders of big cloud.
huge bear tried getting forcibly in,
smiled and said, 'I have to win.

O' poor cave, see my strong body,
look at my height!
I am quite black,
while you are white.
you are unaware of facts,
you are mine, my cave,
you are made for me.

I know, you think yourself too small,
If I enter, you will be torn,
and might get burst,
but it is nothing like this,
surrender yourself
before me silently.
or I will react violently.

the little cave said nothing,
but tried to scape herself,
with all her might.
thrusting the bear out.
Bear so huge, no doubt.
He tried utmost entering forcibly,
getting success a little bit.
until the cave burst,
the bear continued to hit.

At last, a hot bloody stream,
blew out of the cave.
It couldn't itself save.
It was torn and oozing sweat.
the huge bear was running,
in and out very smoothly,
Poor cave, in this struggle,
has become out.
the bear has come first, no doubt.
....................................... ............

poem by Rani Madhubala
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It’s dark in here

While I am walking
inside a cave,
it's rather dark in here

I wonder how people
could have lived in this place
and in my mind’s eye
I see them gathering
around hot fires
with bright red and yellow flames
leaping into the air
and blown higher by the slight draft.

They must have fried
some of the antelope
sketched in yellow, red, brown
and black on the wall
and although the stalagmites
and stalactites on the floor
of the cave are rather beautiful
there’s a chill in the air.

Without light I cannot see
were to go
and in ancient times
bats must have nested
against the roof
and somehow people
made this dark place
their home
and still it’s dark in here.

poem by Gert Strydom
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Three Hours

Three hours from sundown
Jeremy flies
Hoping to keep
The sun from his eyes
East from the city
And down to the cave
In search of a master
In search of a slave.
Three hours from london
Jacomos free
Taking his woes
Down to the sea
In search of a lifetime
To tell when hes home
In search of a story
Thats never been known.
Three hours from speaking
Everyones flown
Not wanting to be
Seen on their own
Three hours is needed
To leave from them all
Three hours to wonder
And three hours to fall.
Three hours from sundown
Jeremy flies
Hoping to keep
The sun from his eyes
East from the city
And down to the cave
In search of a master
In search of a slave.

song performed by by Nick Drake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People used to complain that selling a president was like selling a bar of soap. But when you buy soap, at least you get the soap. In this campaign you just get two guys telling you they really value cleanliness.

quote by David Brooks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fable Or History

Possessed of royal appetite, and feeling rather thin,
A monkey one day dressed himself in a tiger's skin
The tiger had been nasty; the monkey was atrocious,
Wearing on his back the right to be ferocious.
He set himself to gnashing teeth and let loose with this cry:
Conqueror of the jungle, the night's dark king am I!
As a bandit of the forest, in the bushes he lurked,
And snatched away and murdered and other horrors worked.
Laid waste the forest, slit the throats of those passing through,
And with the skin that covered him did all it used to do.
He lived within a cave, knee-deep in butchery,
And all who saw the skin believed the tiger was he.
He would cry out, would bring forth a truly terrible roar:
Behold within my cave the bones of victims before.
Before me all draw back and shudder, everyone doth flee,
All tremble - I am tiger! Look! and worship me!
The animals were all awe-struck and fled with great alarm,
A lion-tamer came and grabbed him with his arm,
And ripped off the tiger's skin like a flimsy piece of tissue,
Laid bare this 'conqueror' and said, 'You're just a monkey, you!'

poem by Victor Hugo
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The First Tooth

There once was a wood, and a very thick wood,
So thick that to walk was as much as you could;
But a sunbeam got in, and the trees understood.

I went to this wood, at the end of the snows,
And as I was walking I saw a primrose;
Only one! Shall I show you the place where it grows?

There once was a house, and a very dark house,
As dark, I believe, as the hole of a mouse,
Or a tree in my wood, at the thick of the boughs.

I went to this house, and I searched it aright,
I opened the chambers, and I found a light;
Only one! Shall I show you this little lamp bright?

There once was a cave, and this very dark cave
One day took a gift from an incoming wave;
And I made up my mind to know what the sea gave.

I took a lit torch, I walked round the ness
When the water was lowest; and in a recess
In my cave was a jewel. Will nobody guess?

O there was a baby, he sat on my knee,
With a pearl in his mouth that was precious to me,
His little dark mouth like my cave of the sea!

I said to my heart, "And my jewel is bright!
He blooms like a primrose! He shines like a light!"
Put your hand in his mouth! Do you feel? He can bite!

poem by William Brighty Rands
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.

Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Give Me Some Truth

I'm sick & tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded
All I want is the truth
Just give me some truth
I've had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth
Just give me some truth
No short-haired, yellow-bellied son-of-tricky-dicky's
Gonna mother hubbard soft soap me with just a bundle of hope
It's money for dope
Money for rope
No short-haired, yellow-bellied son-of-tricky-dicky's
Gonna mother hubbard soft soap me with just a bucket of soap
It's money for dope
Money for rope
I'm sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mother's little chauvinists
All I want is the truth
Just give me some truth
I've had enough of watching scenes
With schizophrenic, egocentric, paranoiac prima donnas
All I want is the truth
Just give me some truth
No short-haired, yellow-bellied son-of-tricky-dicky's
Gonna mother hubbard soft soap me with just a bucket of soap
It's money for dope
Money for rope
[Repeat 1st & 2nd verses]

song performed by by Travis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Goodnight And Thank You

Che: Goodnight and thank you Huevo
She's in every magazine
Been photographed seen
She is known
We don't like to rush but your case has been packed
If we've missed anything
You could give her a ring
But she won't always answer the phone

Eva: Oh but it's sad when a love affair dies
But we have pretended enough
It's best that we part stop fooling ourselves

Che: Which means

Eva and Che: There is no one no on at all
Never has been and never will be a lover
Male or female
Who hasn't an eye on in fact they rely on tricks they can try on their partner
They're hoping their lover will help them or keep them
Support them promote them
Don't blame them you're the same

Che: Goodnight and thank you Emilio
You've completed your task
What more can we ask of you now
Please sign the book on the way out the door
And that will be all if she needs you she'll call
But I don't think that's likely somehow

Eva: Oh but it's sad when a love affair dies
But when we were hot we were hot
I know you'll look back on the good times we've shared

Che: Which means

Eva and Che: There is no one no on at all
Never has been and never will be a lover
Male or female
Who hasn't an eye on in fact they rely on tricks they can try on their partner
They're hoping their lover will help them or keep them
Support them promote them

Che: Don't blame her you're the same

Eva and female chorus: There is no soap no soap like Zaz
No detergent lotion or oil with such power in the shower
It's the mother and father of luxery lather
The talk of the bath the great ointment
One little frolic with new Zaz carbolic
You're scented you'll be sent

Che: Goodnight and thank you Senor Jabon
We are grateful you found her a spot on the sound radio
We'll think of you everytime she's on the air
We'd love you to stay but you'd be in the way
So do up your trousers and go

Eva: Oh but it's sad when a love affair dies
The decline into silence and doubt
Our passion was just too intense to survive

Che: Which means

Eva's suitors: This is a club I should never have joined
Someone has made us look fools
Argentine men call the sexual shots
Someone has altered the rules

Eva: Fame on the wireless as far as it goes
Is all very well but every girl knows

Che: She needs a man she can monopolize
With fingers in dozens of different pies

Che and Eva's suitors: Oh but it's sad when a love affair dies

song performed by by Madonna from Evita Soundtrack (Part 1)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pussies (Fun Poem 114)

I never let my pussies out
especially after dark
because I know what
pussies can get up to;
they stay indoors
and don’t get into trouble
no matter what they say.
My pussies stay in all night
and its better that way.

22 March 2011

poem by David Harris
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The Cave

Return to the road we love in some time,
This time is to enjoy as we tread and climb;
We reach and then cry, we stretch and make efforts
Too strange, for we can ride pleasurable comforts.
The summit of my hidden mountain is blamed
For my pain, for the pain is worse I claimed.
The foot of this mountain has a cave too eerie,
I formed it with my imagination drowsily;
I must excite the page on this day to keep the cave
That delivers safety to my soul believing I am brave.

poem by Naveed Akram
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Once two brothers lived in a cave;
Poor were they with nothing to save.
But, somehow, their luck
A HUGE fortune struck!
And cheers to dumping the cave.

quote by by Walterrean Salley
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Opening Ceremony

by Michael Murphey
She's always appearing with a band of renown,
You want to go and see her when you're feeling down,
She's a breathtaking spectacle with guaranteed hope,
She'll make you feel good 'cause she's the best thing since soap,
She'll greet you in the alley with a fortified smile,
She's the original sideshow and she's got her own style.
Pardon my baby, she got to have her fun,
Yes, I say, pardon my baby, she got to have her fun,
'Cause she's the Oklahoma backroom dancer, watch her run.
Now, she dances on air just like Superman's child,
Like a field of sheep grazing, she's wild but she's mild,
She's more fun than Colorado and more farout than Maine,
She comes on like thunder and she's more right than rain,
She's the mother of earth and the goddess of thirst,
She's the chicken and the egg and whichever came first.
Pardon my baby, she got to have a chance,
Oh, I say, pardon my baby, she got to have a chance,
'Cause she's the Oklahoma backroom dancer, watch her dance.
Whoo...
SOLO
Oh, my, somebody get the piano player a drink of water...
Yeah, I say pardon my baby, she got to have her fun,
Yeah, I say pardon my baby, she got to have her fun,
Yes, she's the Oklahoma backroom dancer, watch her run,
Whoo, my-my.

song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Cave Principle

I crawl across the floor never see the light
Only shadows on the wall
Somebody said there's reality behind
But I'm afraid to turn and fall - oh no

Set me free - for eternity

And now they talk about my destiny again
I hear their footsteps in the dark
But then again there was the silence and the pain
Uh lord that made me feel so lost

Heal me - get out of here
Save me - my world's an illusion

I'm still inside the cave imprisoned in on mind
And silhouettes on the wall
I have to turn around to see what's goin' on
Cause what I saw was never all!

Just a move is the solution
it's not enough to stand and stare
Leave the cave and find the reason
For the cross you have to bear

Never

song performed by by Gamma Ray
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Choices

i prefer smooth peanut butter
to crunchy
mind you
crunchy is all right
but i prefer smooth.

i prefer strawberry jam
to raspberry
mind you
raspberry is tasty
but it's got all those seeds
and i prefer strawberry.

i prefer mustard
to mayonaisse
mind you mayonaisse has it's place
amongst condiments
but is likely to go bad
if left out to long
and poison everyone
so on the whole i prefer mustard.

i prefer cooked meat
to raw meat
for much the same reason
as i prefer mustard to mayonaisse
although it also has to do
with the fact that i don't
like my meat to bleat
or moo or make chicken noises (BAGOCK!)
when i eat
so i tend to avoid the raw
though mind you
the meat that i prefer
may at some time have been raw.

i prefer not to say
why i think so
but i do
and i suppose it's all
just a matter of taste
so if you'd prefer to think so
then crunchy is better
than smooth
even if it does interfere
with the texture of the
peanut butter
and jelly (strawberry) sandwich
which ought to be somewhat
devoid of substance
merely a sticky sweet something
to fill your stomach
put mayonaisse on it
if you like
i'd prefer not to think about it.

poem by Laura Sewell
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Uncle's Shave.

Uncle’s Shave.

You used to watch Uncle
shave in front of the small mirror

propped on the edge
of the kitchen sink,

his face lathered
in white soap,

his cutthroat razor
held just a short distance

from his skin
by his right hand,

as the other hand
held the skin taut

in preparation
of the razor’s slide.

You stood behind
fascinated,

your young eyes
searching the mirror’s world

of Uncle’s face
and the performers start.

Uncle watched you
in the mirror,

his lips breaking
into a small smile,

the razor held
just above his ear,

his eyes staring above
the shaving foam,

taking in
your fascinated gaze,

the open mouth,
your hands copying

Uncle’s motion
in pretend shave.

Uncle drew the razor down
his cheek in slow motion,

the face becoming visible
as the soap gave way,

the hand dipping
the razor in water

to rid of foam,
to begin again,

more soap removed,
more skin revealed.

You copied Uncle,
but not so skilled.

poem by Terry Collett
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Oklahoma Backroom Dancer

By michael nesmith
Shes always appearing with a band of renown
You want to go and see her when youre feeling down
Shes a breathtaking spectacle, with guaranteed hope
Shell make you feel good, cause shes the best thing since soap
Shell greet you in the alley with a .45 smile [or fortified smile]
Shes the original sideshow and shes got her own style.
Pardon my baby, she got to have her fun
Yes, I say, pardon my baby, she got to have her fun
cause shes a oklahoma backroom dancer, watch her run.
Now, she dances on air just like supermans child
Like a [? ? ? ] shes wild but shes mild
Shes more fun than colorado, and more far-out than maine
She comes on like thunder and shes more right than rain
Shes the mother of earth, and the goddess of [? ? ? ]
Shes the chicken and the egg and whichever came first.
Pardon my baby, she got to have her chance
Oh, I say pardon my baby, she got to have her chance.
cause shes a oklahoma backroom dancer, watch her dance.
Yeah, I say pardon my baby, she got to have her fun
Yeah, I say pardon my baby, she got to have her fun
Yes, shes a oklahoma backroom dancer, watch her run.
Woooo! my, my!

song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fake Plastic Tree (acoustic Version)

A green plastic watering can
For a fake chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself
It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out
She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns
He used to do surgery
On girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins
And it wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him out
She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run
And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out
And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time

song performed by by Radiohead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fake Plastic Trees

Her green plastic watering can
For her fake chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself.
It wears her out
It wears her out
It wears her out
It wears her out
She lives with a broken man,
A cracked polystyreneman
Who just crumbles and burns
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins.
And it wears him out
It wears him out
It wears him out
It wears...
She looks like the real thing.
She tastes like the real thing,
My fake plastic love
But I cant help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run.
And it wears me out
It wears me out
It wears me out
It wears me out
If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time
All the time.

song performed by by Alanis Morissette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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