If I Had A Dog
If I had a dog
I’d call him Butch
I’d hug him hard
And love him much
If I had a dog
I’d teach him tricks
Throw him balls
And chuck him sticks
If I had a dog
He’d roll on command
I’d tickle his tummy
And he’d lick my hand
If I had a dog
We’d splash through brooks
Roam through the park
And chase the ducks
If I had a dog
We’d play all day...
But it’s no use
Mum says, “A dog? No way! ”
© Ray Mather 2010
poem by Ray Mather

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Papa And Me
Papa and me are good friends
We do all kinds of things together
He doesn't like to tell me no
no matter what the weather
Sometimes we just throw a ball
sometimes he watches me ride my bike
Sometimes we play video games
But hitting golf balls is what we really like
He Say's if I practice hard enough
I could be the next Tiger Woods
The equipments not cheap and I have to work hard
But some day I will have the goods
I love my papa with all my heart
He's my very best friend
He always makes time to play with me
And we will be friends to the end
Dedicated to my husband Chuck and our grandson Brendan! ! !
Dianna Nally
3/12/08
poem by Dianna Nally

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Cheese Balls
Cheese balls!
Sniff them as you lick them,
Cheese balls.
Delicious when you eat them,
Cheese balls.
Salty and their tart.
A snack that's hard to stop!
Cheddar up.
Cheese balls.
Sniff them as you lick them.
Cheese balls.
Delicious when you eat them.
Cheese balls.
Salty and they're tart,
And a snack that's hard to top.
Cheddar up.
Get a big bag and begin to stuff your gutt.
Those, those, those...
Cheese balls.
The cheddar makes them better.
Cheese balls.
They're better when they're cheddar.
Forget about the fedder...
And that gouda gotta go!
You've got to get them cheddar.
It's that cheddar taste that grows.
Cheddar up, cheddar up, cheddar up!
Those cheese balls...
Delicious when you eat them.
Cheese balls.
Sniff them as you lick them.
Cheese balls.
And a snack that's hard to stop!
Salty and they're tart...
Forget about the fedder.
And that gouda gotta go!
Cheese balls!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Splash
I called you on the phone
You knew it was me all along
You didn't even say hello
Cause you don't need words to let me know
All the things that you do to me
You fulfill my every fantasy
Splash - I'm under your power
Splash - I could go for hours
Splash - You could devour me
And I'd only want you more
Oh, when you make love to me
There's things I never thought I'd see
I cherish [...]
[...] in every sea
Oh, I love when you play with me
Ask your mom if you could stay with me
Splash - I'm under your power
Splash - I could go for hours
Splash - You could devour me
And I'd only want you more
Our love is a rhythm
Together we'll have so much fun
You go from room to room
Leaving traces of your sweet perfume
If I could I'd bottle it
Everybody should know the feelin' I get
When I'm in your cool embrace
Your lips, your arms, your legs, your face
Splash - I'm under your power
Splash - I could go for hours
Splash - You could devour me
And I'd only want you more
I want you more and more and more
Splash
Splash
Splash
Splash
Splash
Splash.
song performed by by Prince

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Say Keep It Gangsta (feat. Butch Cassidy And Sharissa)
[B] Wyclef, Butch Cassidy, Sharissa
[W] What up
[S] Unnnnnh!
[B] From the West Indies to the West Coast
[W] Callabo
[B] You say keep it gangsta
[Chorus: Wyclef] (Butch Cassidy)
But when the beef come, you're the first to run (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
Yo, that ain't your gun, it belongs to... (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
You roll with a hundred, but when the beef come don't nobody want it
(Gangster, la la la la, la la la la)
[Wyclef] (Butch Cassidy)
I want to dedicate this chant to my people locked down livin life in the yard
(KEEP IT GANGSTA)
Keep a shank boofed up in their tape just in case a thug wanna play hard
(KEEP IT GANGSTA)
All this ice-grillin talk bout you King of New York, now you wanna call a guard
(THAT AIN'T GANGSTA)
But it's too late when the guard show up cause your body's going straight to the morgue
(KEEP IT GANGSTA)
[Chorus: Wyclef] (Butch Cassidy)
But when the beef come, you're the first to run (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
Yo, that ain't your gun, it belongs to... (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
You roll with a hundred, but when the beef come don't nobody want it
(...GANGSTER)
[Butch Cassidy] (Wyclef & Sharissa)
I wanna dedicate this jam to the ladies holdin spots when they fellows lock down
(KEEP IT GANGSTA)
Keep a glock in they pocket blowin shots till they pray I'm in town
(KEEP IT GANGSTA)
And to the snitch that ratted on rich the streets got you 16 rounds
(THAT AIN'T GANGSTA)
But theres only one place for a gully rat, six feet under the ground
(YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
I'm gon keep it gangsta
(YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
La la la la, la la la la
(YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
[Chorus: Wyclef] (Butch Cassidy)
You roll with a hundred, but when the beef come don't nobody want it
(...GANGSTER)
[Big Jack] (Butch Cassidy)
Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up
Yo, stop with the posin
Y'all ain't really holdin
I'm about to open, a chapter of the Omen
Casket, closin, bodies, frozen
I've, been chosen, y'all forsaken
Ante up, so the chains get taken
Flash backs of the rock season in the making
Ain't no more MC'n, ice is just gleamin
And you wonder why you got robbed, cause your life had no meaning, fake gangsta
(YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
[Chorus: Wyclef] (Butch Cassidy)
But when the beef come, you're the first to run (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
Yo, that ain't your gun, it belongs to... (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
You roll with a hundred, but when the beef come don't nobody want it
(...GANGSTER)
Nobody, nobody, nobody
(YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
[Sharissa] (Butch Cassidy)
Now what would you do if Henchman's came for you? (GANGSTA)
9 out of 10 times you would flea your crew (GANGSTA)
So people your lying say you running these streets (YOU SAY KEEP IT GANGSTA)
You better watch out cause they have heat (GANGSTA)
Now what would you do if Big Jack came for you? (GANGSTA)
9 out of 10 times you would leave your crew (GANGSTA)
So people your lying say you running these streets (GANGSTA)
You better watch out cause they have heat
[Butch Cassidy]
Gangsta
I'm gonna keep it gangsta
You say keep it gangsta
La la la la, la la la la
You say keep it gangsta
Gangsta
You say keep it gangsta
song performed by by Wyclef Jean

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Rising Of My Purpose
Forget each and every one,
Of your analystic tricks.
I will tell you upfront...
You are the cause and reason,
Why my lips seperate...
To lick.
You may perceive this to be lust.
I confess...
Your perception is correct.
And your heart knows this.
I can tell by the melting in your eyes,
If my touch is gentle.
It is!
Why you play hard to get,
When you cause the rising of my purpose to lift...
Is 'your' mystery!
Not mine.
Forget each and every one,
Of your analystic tricks.
I will tell you upfront...
You are the cause and reason,
Why my lips seperate...
To lick.
You know this.
Why you play hard to get,
When you cause the rising of my purpose to lift...
Is 'your' mystery!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Got You By The Balls
Hey mister businessman
Head of the company
Are you looking for a lady
One who likes to please?
Hey mister businessman
This one likes to tease
With a special service
In french quantities
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
And shes calling all the shots
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Hey mister businessman
High society
She can play the school girl
And spank you all you please
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
She dont go overtime
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
(kiss your balls goodbye)
Hang it left, hang it right,
Got you by the balls
Got your shorts, got your curlies
Got you - by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Yeah, yeah
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
song performed by by AC-DC

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Theatre Of The Absurd
(ian hunter)
My tea turned seven shades darker
As I sit n write these words
And londons gettin paler
In my theatre of the absurd.
You figured for an evening
And you made it all worthwile.
Its seldom people have a job
And even rarer that I smile.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Teach your children to be them
And never ever ours.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Someone took the park away
But they left a lonely flower.
And if your songs be classics,
Throw them to the hurd.
Truth is where they came from
And not this theatre of the absurd.
Some say you wanted to play for me
But its only what youve heard
That made you want to capture me
In your theatre of the absurd.
It was not me, I said myself
And you must do so, too.
I hope you have the strength to stay
When Ill be watchin you.
So baby,
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Teach your children to be them
And never ever ours.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Someone took the park away
But they left a lonely flower.
Oh when I got here back home tonight
Something within me stirred.
Oh it must have been a different kind of play
That touched my theatre of the absurd.
Now Ill be on my way alone
But an interesting thing occurred
See nobody ever shared too much
In my theatre of the absurd.
And there I was back in london,
Thought about history.
It was just like being in school again
But I felt something movin in me.
Hearin just a bit of the future,
Oh its comin and its still blurred
And thats the only thing worth living for
In my theatre of the absurd.
Come on,
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Teach your children to be them
And never ever ours.
Oh play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Someone took the park away
But they left a lonely flower.
(beautiful)
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
(john, come on)
Play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Oh, play me some, (come on, eric) play me some,
Play me brixton power.
Oh, play me some, play me some,
Play me brixton power.
...
song performed by by Ian Hunter

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oh Ellen To Play Fun Sticks With You.
What a love and joy to see you,
Your blond hair shines in the sun,
Your smile doth capture my heart strings,
We are going to have such fun
Gran dad walkies you say to me,
As you tightly hold my hand,
Let’s go play hide and seek,
Under this tree I will count and stand,
A bridge over the stream in the wood let’s look,
I will gather some twigs for Fun sticks we will play,
We both throw our Fun sticks into the brook,
Whose twig will be first under the bridge this way?
Such fun and so delightful,
We have had such a lovely day,
We are so exhausted,
And you are so tired and need your sleep,
I feel we are so lucky,
To have a grand daughter like you,
And also such a daughter,
Who made sure we got to know you,
Such a love so overwhelming,
So sure so strong so true,
One thing I will always remember,
Is when I played Fun Sticks with you?
(Ref Winnie the Pooh)
poem by Anthony Foster

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Desperate Balls
You always tried to be so nice
But always got it wrong
Day by day you played your games with me
But theres no way youll win
But the time has come
Ill start another light
And now Im gonna stand
Stand on my own - Ive always been a man
Kick your desperate balls
Its my command the mighty fall
Kick your desperate balls
Received the blow forever tall
You got desperate balls
Double talk and desperate lies
You failed to see and recognize
So sorry for your puny minds
No salvation for your kind
You tried to take me on
For you Im way too strong
I showed you how to stand
Stand on my own - Ill always be a man
Kick your desperate balls
So watch your back or I might call
Kick your desperate balls
From left or right or from below
You got desperate balls
You call those balls?
Feel the weight of mine!
You tried to take me on
For you Im way too strong
I showed you how to stand
Stand on my own - Ill always be a man
Kick your desperate balls
Its my command the mighty fall
Kick your desperate balls
Received the blow forever tall
Kick your desperate balls
So watch your back or I might call
Kick your desperate balls
From left or right or from below
You got desperate balls
Feel the weight of mine!
song performed by by U. D. O.

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Lugubrious Whing-Whang
The rhyme o' The Raggedy Man's 'at's best
Is Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs,--
'Cause that-un's the strangest of all o' the rest,
An' the worst to learn, an' the last one guessed,
An' the funniest one, an' the foolishest.--
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
I don't know what in the world it means--
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!--
An' nen when I _tell_ him I don't, he leans
Like he was a-grindin' on some machines
An' says: Ef I _don't_, w'y, I don't know _beans!_
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!--
Out on the margin of Moonshine Land,
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
Out where the Whing-Whang loves to stand,
Writing his name with his tail in the sand,
And swiping it out with his oogerish hand;
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
Is it the gibber of Gungs or Keeks?
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
Or what _is_ the sound that the Whing-Whang seeks?--
Crouching low by the winding creeks
And holding his breath for weeks and weeks!
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
Aroint him the wraithest of wraithly things!
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
'Tis a fair Whing-Whangess, with phosphor rings
And bridal-jewels of fangs and stings;
And she sits and as sadly and softly sings
As the mildewed whir of her own dead wings,--
Tickle me, Dear,
Tickle me here,
Tickle me, Love, in these Lonesome Ribs!
poem by James Whitcomb Riley

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I'm Gonna Lock My Heart
Jimmy eaton / terry shand
I'm gonna lock my heart
And throw away the key
I'm wise to all those tricks you played on me
I'm gonna turn my back on love
Gonna snob the moon above
Seal all my windows up with tin
So the love bug can't get in
Park my romance right alone the curb
Hang a sign upon my heart
"please don't disturb"
And if i never fall in love again
That's soon enough for me
I'm gonna lock my heart
And throw the key
And it i never tall in love again
That's soon enough for me
I!m gonna lock my heart
And throw away the key
I'll never fall in love again
I'm gonna lock my heart
And throw away the key
song performed by by Billie Holiday

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Splash
[intro]
Welcome into ecstasy baby
Oh yes, I got to know, can i
Splash, splash, splash
Baby I wanna jump and dive and splash in your love, yes
Can I splash in your love baby?
I used to be afraid of water till I got a lifejacket
Now I always seem to find myself
Laughing and splashing, oh yeah
Theres no waters that fall quite like yours
How I love to swim your sticky shores
Can I splash?
Can I take a dip, can I take a dip
Inside your love, I just wanna swim, baby let me swim
Let me come, I just wanna splash in your lake of love
Can I take a dip, can I take a dip
Inside your love, I just wanna swim, baby let me swim
Let me come, I just wanna splash in your lake of love
Can I splash?
As I used to play across you chocolate beaches
I would always vision your love canal
Dreaming I could reach it, oh yeah yeah
And as I wade in your waters of passionate cream
I realized, its not a dream
I can finally splash, I dont have ask, no
Can I take a dip, can I take a dip
Inside your love, I just wanna swim, baby let me swim
Let me come, I just wanna splash in your lake of love
Can I take a dip, can I take a dip
Inside your love, I just wanna swim, baby let me swim
Let me come, I just wanna splash in your lake of love
Ooh, let me dive inside your love
Can I splash inside just once
Let me go Ill make you come
Oh, let me just feel it
S is for sexual
P is for pleasure
L is for love me, cause baby you better
A is for anytime
S is for special
H is for happiness
Whenever were together
I splash, well baby give me the chance
To get in your pants
To make sure that you feel good
I wanna know, can I feel your love?
Splash, thinking I wanna sneak
That Im a sexual freak, you gotta meet
Come and see me baby
If you let me toss youll get it proper I know
When it comes to the sexual
You know how next flow, its like incredible
R. l., tweety and t-low wanna know can we
For the moment to last, just let me splash
Can I take a dip inside your love
Youve got to let me
Can I take a dip, can I take a dip
Inside your love, I just wanna swim, baby let me swim
Let me come, I just wanna splash in your lake of love
Can I take a dip, can I take a dip
Inside your love, I just wanna swim, baby let me swim
Let me come, I just wanna splash in your lake of love
song performed by by Next

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The limitations of youth
I'd like to be a cowboy an' ride a fiery hoss
Way out into the big an' boundless west;
I'd kill the bears an' catamounts an' wolves I come across,
An' I'd pluck the bal' head eagle from his nest!
With my pistols at my side,
I would roam the prarers wide,
An' to scalp the savage Injun in his wigwam would I ride--
If I darst; but I darsen't!
I'd like to go to Afriky an' hunt the lions there,
An' the biggest ollyfunts you ever saw!
I would track the fierce gorilla to his equatorial lair,
An' beard the cannybull that eats folks raw!
I'd chase the pizen snakes
An' the 'pottimus that makes
His nest down at the bottom of unfathomable lakes--
If I darst; but I darsen't!
I would I were a pirut to sail the ocean blue,
With a big black flag aflyin' overhead;
I would scour the billowy main with my gallant pirut crew
An' dye the sea a gouty, gory red!
With my cutlass in my hand
On the quarterdeck I'd stand
And to deeds of heroism I'd incite my pirut band--
If I darst; but I darsen't!
And, if I darst, I'd lick my pa for the times that he's licked me!
I'd lick my brother an' my teacher, too!
I'd lick the fellers that call round on sister after tea,
An' I'd keep on lickin' folks till I got through!
You bet! I'd run away
From my lessons to my play,
An' I'd shoo the hens, an' tease the cat, an' kiss the girls all day--
If I darst; but I darsen't!
poem by Eugene Field

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Licking Balls in Velvet Fingers of Grass
Oh verdancy! Dear verdancy!
Oh vast expanse of space!
You want Zen?
Where've you been?
This is the time, the place!
Bring your picnic basket
and hard-boiled eggs aplenty
Swing your arms up toward
the clouds
Oh there are so many!
~~~
Now, I've had Women
'Kick' my balls
And make my lil nub quiver.
But, I've had Men
'Lick' my balls
And make the back net shiver.
Actually...
When I lose my balls
I feel rather free
I live on a rubber mat:
I'm a drivin' range
Golf ball
T
poem by Jeffrey Philip Clegg

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Once You Accept Who's In Charge
Roll over.
Play dead.
Jump through this hoop.
Jump over that hurdle.
Bark on command.
Now...
Fetch!
You're suppose to bring it back.
'How will I teach my dog to do that? '
Trust me...
If I am able to teach you to do it,
You will be able to teach your dog.
Now...
Bring that stick back.
It gets easier once you accept who's in charge.
'Whew.
This is tough.
You said...
I'm suppose to bring the stick back!
Right? '
Exactly.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Outlets
Splatter
Splash
A single droplet
Glistens
Splatter
Splash
It slowly runs
Down
Splatter
Splash
The gentle kiss of
Cool metal
Splatter
Splash
Nipping at the
Skin
Splatter
Splash
A network of
Webs
Splatter
Splash
A beautiful pattern
Turning red
Splatter
Splash
Hidden in the
Fabric
Splatter
Splash
Reinf orced
By the grin
Splatter
Splash
Walking on
Nothing's wrong
Splatter
Splash
Only everything
Is
poem by Autumn Winds

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Coke balls
Please, listen everybody
I want to tell you about a candy
That I bought today
And I call this “Coke Balls” and it will make you say
“Wow! This is the best candy that I’ve ever tasted
It taste so good when it’s in my mouth while I’m rolling it around and gets melted”
But be careful when you put it down your throat
Because you might get choke
When your about to eat this coke balls
Don’t swallow it all
You got to put in your mouth
And roll it around wait till it melts out
A little bit, and then you can put it down your throat
Now you won’t get choke, then you’re going to have fun eating my coke
My coke balls, oh my coke balls
You can swallow it all
When is melted a little bit so you won’t get choke
Go have my coke balls, my coke
My coke balls
This is my funny disgusting sexpoem. I'm sorry for the people who's not going to like this but i'm just joking about this. I'm sorry again
poem by Monino Martin

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Pick Up The Pieces
Pick up the pieces and well throw them away
Throw them away and replace them
Bring on the blues now, and well chase them away
Chase them away, celebration
All that I want is for you to be there when I call
And after all I know you will be there
Youll be there after all
Bring on the band now, set them playing away
And if they stay, well then embrace them
Bring on the people, we can dance and well play
Lets dance the night away, celebration
All that I want is for you to be here when I fall
And after all I know you will be here
Youll be here after all
Theres only one thing it can be
Theres only one thing it can be
Theres only one thing it can be
Theres only one thing it can be
song performed by by Gomez

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ducks On The Wall
After dinner norman becomes depressed.
Star:
Normans office got on my nerves to-day.
Wife:
What do you mean? you are norman!
Star:
(shouts) I am a star!
Wife:
Youre not a star norman. youre
Just a plain ordinary little bloke and
Even if you walked down the street in
A silver suit people still wouldnt
Recognise you. youre dull, ordinary
And uninteresting! youre a drag!
Star rises from his chair and smashes
The dinner plates to the floor.
Star:
I hate this house and I hate you, but
More than anything else I hate those
Ducks!
Wife:
Dont you touch those ducks norman!
They were a present from my mother.
Look, norman, Ive had enough of you
And your ridiculous fantasies. first of
All you wanted to be a painter, then
You wanted to be an astronaut, then
A footballer and now youre playing at
Being a rock singer. if you touch those
Ducks Im leaving!
Ducks on the wall
My babys got the most deplorable taste,
But her biggest mistake
Is hanging over the fireplace.
Shes got ducks, ducks on the wall,
Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall.
My ladys got a sort of strange fascination,
An obsessive fixation
For cheap decorations
Shes got ducks, ducks on the wall.
Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall.
Wo-wo-wo I love her so but if she doesnt move the ducks,
I think my mind is gonna go.
Ducks ducks on the wall.
Ducks ducks, hanging on the wall.
I leave the office and I want to relax.
Dont want to stare at a wall
And look at a duck that cant quack.
I love you baby but I cant fall
For those ducks on the wall.
I start to snuggle up and squeeze her so tight.
Then out of the corner of my eye
I see those ducks in flight.
I love you baby but I cant ball
When I see those ducks on the wall.
Wo-wo-wo I can sit through your gossip and your soap opera shows,
But those ducks have got to go.
I love you baby but I cant ball
When I see those ducks on the wall.
And when I went to a cocktail party
With the bores next door,
What was the first thing that I saw?
Ducks, ducks on the wall.
Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall.
My babys got the most deplorable taste,
But her biggest mistake
Is hanging over the fireplace.
Shes got ducks, ducks on the wall,
Ducks, ducks hanging on the wall.
Ill sit and look at all the soap operas with her
Ill play all the panel games and watch all the quiz shows,
But those ducks theyve got to go,
Those ducks are getting up my nose.
If those ducks can fly, well so can i.
And if those ducks have got to stay
Then Im going to fly away.
I love you baby but I cant ball
When I see those ducks on the wall.
Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall.
Ducks, ducks, ducks on the wall.
Oh those ducks on the wall are beginning to move
Theyre talking to me
Ive got to get away from those ducks.
song performed by by Kinks

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Local Park
When you want a good walk
Through day or the dark,
The place to go is our local park,
The park is a pride
The finest ever seen,
Tree's and grass always ever green..
There's swings for the kids
For all girls and boys,
Sea saw and paddling pool
To fill in their joys.
There's a path walk way all the way round
If you want a good walk
And summer seats to sit if you want a good talk,
The park has a lake and plenty good sport,
Bowling on the green and tennis on the court.
There's plenty of fun
Plenty to do,
Even at the park
Good swimming pool there to,
The pool has a cafe
If you want to call in
A wee cup of tea or have a good swim.
There's cricket and football
A horse riding track,
And even a good golf course
It's way round the back.
So here is our park
That's full of good pride,
Were ducks swim the water
And kids play the slide
poem by Gerald Follis Lurgan

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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