I'm On A Diet
Oh body what have you done
I always fed you
Washed you
What is the meaning of this
You wanted fish and chips
You wanted pies
KFC McDonalds you got it
How could you do it to me
I gave up smoking for you
Bought bigger clothes
Worked out at the gym
You just ignored me
You grew hair on my back
My girth causes mirth
All saggy and fat
Now see what you get
No more McDonalds
Fish and chips or pies
All vegies and fruit
See how you like that
poem by Phil Smith
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Related quotes
Down the Chippy
Tasty chips sizzling away
an aroma that can't be beat
'Salt and Vinegar Sir? '
what a tasty treat.
When we were little kids
going to the chippy was a delight
Fish n Chips once a week
usually on a Saturday Night.
The Chippy was on our road
you could smell Fish in the air
'can we have a bag of Scratchings'
a bit of spare Cod if we dare.
The Fish and Chip shop
as British as cups of Teas
who can resist a bag of chips
and some nice Mushy Peas?
poem by Kevin Halls
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Fish ‘n Chips - Food of Life
Oh how I crave for fish ‘n chips:
Our fine cuisine of world renown.
I dined on such a subtle dish
When QEII received her crown.
Oh how I need some fish ‘n chips;
I'll queue in pouring rain or snow!
What better way to warm my hands,
As soggy chips make fingers glow.
We Brits are famed for culinary finesse,
Like steak ‘n kidney pud no less;
Wondrous tripe; cottage pie;
Bangers and egg in lard to fry!
But fish ‘n chips - the crowning glory -
A dish to trounce the great kebab!
You think I care for chicken masala?
It's cod and chips that grow my flab.
Oh how I yearn for fish ‘n chips,
All poshly wrapped in the Daily Star,
Then caked and drowned in salt ‘n vinegar -
And stinking out my brand new car!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
Food food food food food food food of life
Food food food food food food food of life
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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The Pieman
I'd like to be a pieman, and ring a little bell,
Calling out, 'Hot pies! Hot pies to sell!'
Apple-pies and Meat-pies, Cherry-pies as well,
Lots and lots and lots of pies - more than you can tell.
Big, rich Pork-pies! Oh, the lovely smell!
But I wouldn't be a pieman if ...
I wasn't very well.
Would you?
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Fruit Together
A plum went to market
to buy some grapes,
everyone was was there
that day.
They didn't come
just to play.
Fruit was what
they needed most.
The apple came
to buy some pears,
Pears came to
buy some apples.
They ended up
buying each other.
What a fix,
so fruity was it.
Everyone went home
that day,
so they could all
make some fruit pies.
What a site this
was, seeing each
one making pies out,
of each other,
somehow pies
were made this
day, you ask
How was this done?
you figure it out,
I just wrote
the poem.
wrote 4-14-07
Parking Lot
get crunk get crunk get crunk let me see ya
get crunk get crunk get crunk errybody
get crunk get crunk get crunk let me see ya
get crunk get yea...
at home no where ta go, my mans in the bed
out cold, callin you on yo phone three four
times in a row, and i aint gone quit until
i finally get you to pick up the line,
and you wanna know what i want well,
its eleven o'clock right on the dot, and i had
this feeling i had to see my shawty, to see
my homey, but its gotta be with the quickness,
gotta get back home to my man before
he miss this, are you with this, i'm tellin you.
i need to c u now can u get out, my man is
at the house, so meet me @ the mcdonalds
parkin lot uh, b 4 it get 2 late i can't wait, its
jus around my way, so meet me @ the
mcdonalds parkin lot, just over the hill @
the late take a right, hang a left don't
careless drive, meet me @ the mcdonalds
parkin lot yea, so what cha waitin 4 hit the
door, put the pedal 2 the floor, meet me
@ the mcdonalds parkin lot
i'm @ the drive thru, right beside u, ready to
take your order, take it right here in the parkin
lot, gonna make sure its hot for you like it
like it, good 4 u like it like it ohh, taste it
right here in the parkin lot ( wooooh)
but i gotta stop cus we in the drop but i jus
got 2 cus i gotta man, don't you understand
that she is not you, but i can't help it, i'm gon
meet u here 2 morrow nite, i'm tellin u
chorus
get crunk get crunk get crunk let me see ya
get crunk get crunk get crunk erry body
get crunk get crunk get crunk let me see ya
get crunk get crunk get crunk let me see ya
get crunk get crunk get crunk erry body
get crunk get crunk get crunk let me see ya
get crunk get crunk
chorus
song performed by by Nivea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Penguin Paradice
Each penguin's such a precious thing,
Content to honk all day!
Each wide-webbed foot, each floppy wing,
To them, they're quite OK.
The water's cold! They walk on ice!
Do you hear them complain?
To them, this place is Paradise!
They say, 'No p.p.p.pain, no g.g.g.gain! '
You won't catch me in ice cold sea
And gobbling ice cold fish!
They'd soon lose all their novelty -
They're not the ideal dish...
The easy life, that's all I want -
Not fish day in, day out...
My choice in every restaurant!
Yes, that's what life's about!
And central heating suits me fine
And clothes and jewels, too...
Some champagne or some fancy wine
And then I'll muddle through.
But fish, fish, fish would drive me mad!
I'd soon curl up my lips!
With no potatoes to be had,
There'd be no fish and chips!
No telly and no radio,
No papers to peruse...
Live as a penguin? No, thank you!
This human life I'd choose...
poem by Denis Martindale
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Penguin Paradise
Each penguin's such a precious thing,
Content to honk all day!
Each wide-webbed foot, each floppy wing,
To them, they're quite OK.
The water's cold! They walk on ice!
Do you hear them complain?
To them, this place is Paradise!
They say, 'No p.p.p.pain, no g.g.g.gain! '
You won't catch me in ice cold sea
And gobbling ice cold fish!
They'd soon lose all their novelty -
They're not the ideal dish...
The easy life, that's all I want -
Not fish day in, day out...
My choice in every restaurant!
Yes, that's what life's about!
And central heating suits me fine
And clothes and jewels, too...
Some champagne or some fancy wine
And then I'll muddle through.
But fish, fish, fish would drive me mad!
I'd soon curl up my lips!
With no potatoes to be had,
There'd be no fish and chips!
No telly and no radio,
No papers to peruse...
Live as a penguin? No, thank you!
This human life I'd choose...
poem by Denis Martindale
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Sky Skimmer
I made a wish,
Upon a fish,
Who swam through the sky.
It twinkled bright,
What a wonderful sight!
As the fish bathed up high.
It circled the moon,
Made the stars swoon,
And the fish lit up the night.
It’s tail was adorn,
With the colors of morn,
And it’s body shined like moonlight.
What was my wish,
Towards the fish?
It’s something I won’t deny.
All I wanted to see,
That would interest me,
Would be a fish swimming in sky.
poem by Micah Yates
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Mr. Fish
One day mr. Fish,
was making a pasta dish,
then suddenly he thought,
about what he was taught,
his teacher would always say,
'no fish can go out of the sea anyday'
he shook his head,
then clearly said,
'I will go out of the ocean,
to breathe I'll take a potion'
mr. Fish said farewell,
to his freinds and family aswell,
for safety he bought a whip,
then he set off on his trip,
he made it to the shore,
but he still wanted to do more,
he flopped onto the road,
his backpack was a very big load,
so he started to tire,
then he saw a very big fire,
'aagh' he screamed,
then he dreamed,
that he was back in fishville,
because the fire was burning over his hill,
he went back on the beach,
then there was a loud screech,
mr Fish didn't make it,
because seconds before he was hit,
he died of burn,
all the fish had to learn,
to not go out of the water,
because it would end by being slaughtered.
poem by Svenili Hughes
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Fish Out Of Water
I feel so out of place here
With this high society
These high fallutin people
Dont know what to make of me
I feel like a minnow in a sea of moby dicks
A small fry in a big pan
Theyre caviar -- Im fish sticks
Fish out of water
I know I dont belong
Fish out of water
Everything I do is wrong
My style of hair, the clothes I wear
The way I speak, the things I eat
The way I act, my lack of tact
Nothin seems to fit
Fish out of water
Flounderin round
Out of my element
But Im just as good as they are
Why do I feel second rate
Its like, sorry charlie,
We want only tuna with good taste
I guess you could say wal-mart
Is quite a way from guccis
Im timex, theyre rolex
Im captain ds, theyre sushi
Fish out of water
Ive had it to the gills
Fish out of water
With these yuppie-guppie frills
Yeah, Im a square in a round hole
A catfish in a goldfish bowl
A little fish with lots of soul
Out of my element
Fish out of water
Flounderin round just for the halibut
Save me, save me
S.o.s. somebody
Save me, save me
Somebody rescue me
Fish out of water
Somebody throw me in
Fish out of water
On a scale of one to ten
Im a two, perhaps a three
Compared to the big fish in the sea
Im washed ashore so save me please
Im in an awful fix
Fish out of water
Rescue me
And you better do it quick
Fish out of water
Its such a culture shock
Fish out of water
My stomachs tied in knots
Fish out of water
Fish out of water
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When You Start To Talk About Nothing
the moment you start to talk about nothing
mind you, this nothing becomes something
and this something becomes something more
like a raindropp falling becoming a worm
the worm becoming a fish
the fish becoming a bird
the bird becoming a man
smaller ones taking bigger shapes
until it becomes a part of you
until it becomes you
until it becomes something bigger than you
all it takes is just a simple beginning
and you making meaning shaping bigger things
more than yourself
more than you can ever think of at the end
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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I Gave My 24-7 To You
You said jump, I asked how high
You made the rules, that we live by
And now I find, I made a frankenstein
I spoiled you rotten, night and day
I always let you get your way
I did the crime, now Im doing time
Baby, for showing you I care
Im tearing out my hair
Baby, you never do your share
You know it isnt fair
(chorus)
I gave my 24-7 to you
Doing everything you wanted to
I bought you sushi and yogurt too
You bought a ringer
Just to pull me through
cause you know thats its true
I gave my 24-7 to you
Every time that were alone
You sit there talkin on the phone
It never ends
Now I hate your friends
Every time I tell you no
Youre quick to tell me where to go
Id leave it all
If I had your balls
Baby, I let you wear the pants
You wore off the romance
Baby, you never miss a chance
To tell me I cant dance
I gave my 24-7 to you
Doing everything you wanted to
I bought you prada and old navy too
You never wear em
Now Im feeling blue
Girl, you know that its true
I gave my 24-7 to you
Baby, its true
Therell never ever ever
Ever never be another one like you
I gave my 24-7 to you
Doing everything you wanted to
I bought you britney and limp bizkit too
You sold them back
For money that I blew
Girl, you know that its true
I gave my 24-7 to you
song performed by by 2gether
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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31
A fish that drinks like a fish, that is a fish in excess
A fish that fishes in troubled waters, that is a fish taking advantage of another fish in trouble
A fish that fishes or cuts bait, well, to be or not to be, to retreat or to attack, that is the fishy question
A fish that is neither fish nor fowl, is a fish that is neither one nor the other, lacking some convictions
A fish out of water, is a fish feeling left out, no longer in his accustomed environment
Do you have other fish to fry for now?
Is there other matter requiring my attention?
Poor fish,
the lake is finally fished out from his fishy mind.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Some things that can happen with a fish
A fish that drinks like a fish, that is a fish in excess
A fish that fishes in troubled waters, that is a fish taking advantage of another fish in trouble
A fish that fishes or cuts bait, well, to be or not to be, to retreat or to attack, that is the fishy question
A fish that is neither fish nor fowl, is a fish that is neither one nor the other, lacking some convictions
A fish out of water, is a fish feeling left out, no longer in his accustomed environment
Do you have other fish to fry for now?
Is there other matter requiring my attention?
Poor fish,
the lake is finally fished out from his fishy mind.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Helen and You and a Bag of Chips
After school
after tea
of bread and jam
a mug of tea
and a slice of cake
you met Helen
under the railway bridge
in Rockingham Street
and she was holding
Battered Betty her doll
in her arms
and she said
Betty wanted to come
she gets lonely
stuck at home
ok
you said
as long as she's quiet
and doesn't cry
all the time
she won't
Helen said
does your mum know
you're out?
you asked
of course
Helen replied
but she said
not to be late
or come home
in the dark
you'll be safe
I've got my six-shooter
with me
you said
tapping the toy gun
tucked in the belt
of your jeans
I told Mum
I was with you
and she said ok
I don't think
she'd let me out
otherwise
a train clattered
over the bridge
over head
let's go
you said
and the three of you
walked up and along by
the Trocadero cinema
she talking about
Battered Betty's day
and what Carmody
had said at school
and how he smelt
of B.O. and cabbages
you watched the people
passing along
the New Kent Road
a constant stream
passing back
and forth
and still Helen talked
as you walked
Carmody's just a fink
you said
take no notice
what he says
and she clutched your hand
with her free hand
not clutching the doll
and you both ran
across the road
and stood outside
the Odeon cinema
gazing at the still photos
in the frames
of what film was showing inside
don't fancy that
you said
too much kissing
and women crying
and boring men
what's wrong with kissing?
Helen asked
better than men
shooting guns
or riding horses
over yellow deserts
making women cry
you looked at her
with her large eyes
behind her thick lens glasses
watery as lakes
and her brown hair
plaited into two plaits
sure
you said
how about a bag of chips?
she nodded then said
I've got no money
don't worry my dad
gave me 6d
for polishing his shoes
the other day
you said
ok
she said
and you walked down
towards the Neptune fish shop
and asked for 6d of chips
and the man
with the one eye
scooped chips
into a bag
and you gave him
the money
and Helen sprinkled
salt and vinegar over them
and you both went outside
and stood together
and shared the bag of chips
and each chip tasted
hot and salty
and warmed your insides
and Helen kissed your cheek
with her greasy warm lips
and said
thank you for these
and you said
no problem
anything to please
and you felt
the damp kiss
there on your cheek
and you smiled
to yourself
thinking
I won't wash that off
for a week.
poem by Terry Collett
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6. Must Have
Special offers at my superstore
Get bigger every day
With savings on their bulk buys
Reducing what we pay
I bought a pack of toilet rolls
Fifteen’s but paid for twelve’s
It seemed a super bargain
Taking three more from the shelves
Lots of chocolate biscuits
If you buy one get one free
This also seemed a super deal
So I bought another three
If you bought a jar of coffee
With extra you got bigger
Two of those instead of one
Would change our shopping figure
I bought some bread and butter
With a great big leg of lamb
Fifty mini picnic pies
Plus slices of cooked ham
Lots of things I didn’t need
Filled high my shopping barrow
I’d only gone to buy some milk
And I’d even bought a marrow
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
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How Kin Ye No Get a Single Fish in a Glezga Chippie?
'Can I just have a single fish? i.e. just ONE, not TWO? '
This simplest dietary wish, was holding up the queue.
'Am sorry, a single fish is aye two! Are you friggin' huvvin' a laugh?
Even if ye huv a simple Fish Supper, ye're still getting one and a half! '
'But two fish is too much fur me' said Anetta, 'The fat joost goes straight tay ma hips.
One and a half wi' nay batter is better, but I really don't want any chips'
The queue was soon catching that trouble was hatching.
The hungry man's patience could not see the joke.
'Oi missis, if this is whit huzs yer brain scratching,
buy the single, eat wan, 'n leave wan in the poke! '
Unflustered, she mustered another suggestion, 'Hauf a single? ' the strange request came.
'Oh fur God's sake...Aw right, anythin' else ya wee $hite? '
'Aye! Ma wee brother here, wants the same! '
poem by Hola Mentirosa
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Big Jack Loves His Food
Jack went to his doctors
he hadn't been for a year
twenty five stone he was
due to his love of chips and beer.
The doctor said he was now obese
and he would have to lose weight
Jack was told to eat more salads
and to stop drinking ale by the crate.
But Jack was now depressed
because he really loved his grub
his favourite meal was pie and chips
washed down with ten pints in the pub.
But he knew he was far too heavy
and the doctor was probably right
but he wanted one last big meal
down the pub that very night.
But alas Jack ate far too much
and couldn't stop filling his face
and after one pie too many
he exploded into outer space.
But even though Jack was gone
and this must have been his fate
you could say he did achieve something
he got rid of all that weight!
poem by Kevin Halls
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If I were to play somebody who ran a fish and chip shop, I would not work in a fish and chip shop for three months. Staring at chips is not going to help me in my performance.
quote by Ben Kingsley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Fish Year
Marico brought back a tank with salt water from Brazil,
Wnetta bought small stones and water plants from pet store,
The red fish and black fish were got from
Hua’s backyard pond,
After Chris checking the filter
and water temperature,
everything is set,
and the fish is ready to grow and bred.
Gundi feeds the fish everyday,
and watches them day and night.
The red fish swim up and down,
The black fish swim down and up,
The green water plants swing their long leaves
upside down.
We can hear the talk from the tank:
One lady, two ladies, three ladies…
One man, two men, three men…
American, German, Chinese, Brazilian,
Indian, Russian…
The fish is counting! ! !
Counting the people in the lab!
Maybe they learned the counting from Gundi,
Gundi is a great mathematician,
She always counts when she watches them:
One fish, two fish, three fish…
Red fish, black fish, red-black fish…
That’s our first fish year,
we expect to have the second, the third,
and then for ever.
poem by Dongming Zhou
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