5. Rotten Perks
A porkpie and a pickled egg
Left in a buffet car
The porkpie was in plastic wrap
Whilst egg was in a jar
They’d travelled down from London
Today they’d been in York
The egg had drank its vinegar
And pie was lacking pork
Egg nearly sold last Monday
But a diner said it stunk
The waiter threw it back in jar
Where it got a little drunk
Porkpie sat in sunshine
Soaked up the nice hot rays
As furry green things ate his crust
For more than last ten days
Until at last the driver said
Send snack for that’s my perk
He ate the pie and pickled egg
Then took ten weeks off work
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
The Wrong Way
I don't know which planet I'm living on today,
But I got on the Tube, and went the wrong way!
I was travelling North, instead of travelling West:
That I was going the wrong way, no one else guessed.
The heat has, very obviously, gone to my head,
Plus I am feeling tired, as it's too hot in bed.
Catching the wrong train is just not like me,
As I travel around London a lot, you see.
It's a boiling hot day, so that's what I'll blame:
I'm sure many others are feeling just the same.
The heat made my brain feel slightly pickled;
Down my back, the sweat slowly trickled.
Usually, when I'm in London, I'm totally fine,
As I am pretty familiar with all of the Lines.
I don't usually make mistakes of this kind,
But, I guess, I just had other stuff on my mind.
I had travelled as far up as Leicester Square,
When I suddenly realised, I shouldn't be there!
Luckily, I had not made too much of a detour,
And a tricky situation was, very quickly, cured.
I jumped off and caught the very next train back,
And, soon enough, I found myself back on track.
I changed from the Northern to the District Line,
And I reached my singing workshop just in time.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Laundromat Monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
I want my mother, someone to cook for me
Each day another, take out no msg
Im gonna change the world, but not today
Think Ill just go get drunk down on avenue a
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
I want a french maid, someone to wash my jeans
Each quarter Ive made is lost in washing machines
Im gonna change the world, I could be president
If I could just work out where all my mondays went
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
Monday
Laundromat monday
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Valentines Day
Beneath the tide the fishes glide
Fin to fin and side to side
For fishy love has now begun
Fishy love, finny fun
Paper moon, paper heart
Pink balloon, work of art
Al capone, bugs moran
Valentines day
Bootleg gin, porkpie hat
Dew drop inn, dirty rat
Through the heart, cupids dart
Valentines day
Day to repay the one that you love
Gentlemen take off your hats as I speak thereof
Just a brief break from the push and the shove
We may go a few rounds without boxing gloves
Land your punch, I stand my ground
We break for lunch and a second round
We set them up, we knock them down
Valentines day
Me and you, you and him
Him and her, us and them
We keep score, love as war
Valentines day
I lost my teeth, I lost my hair
I lost my mind, you dont care
Love is war, all is fair
On valentines day
song performed by by James Taylor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
London Bye Ta-ta
London bye ta-ta
Strange young town
London bye ta-ta
Brought me down
Dont like your new face
Thats not nice
Got to go far, far
London bye ta-ta
Gigi, gigi, gigi, gigi
Take me away
Gigi, gigi, gigi, gigi
Take me today
The boys in the clothes shop
Sold me curry for a pound
His cardboard face is soggy,
And his sellings thorny crown
I loved her!
I loved her!
Ive got to get away,
But I loved her!
Oh-oh-oh
London bye ta-ta
Strange young town
London bye ta-ta
Brought me down
Dont like your new face
Thats not nice
Got to go far, far
London bye ta-ta
Red light, green light
Make up your mind
Red light, green light
Youre far too un-kind
She loves to love all beauty,
And she says the norm is funny
But she whimpers in the morning
When she finds she has no money
I loved her!
I loved her!
Ive got to get away now,
But I loved her!
Ahhh!
Oh-oh-oh
London bye ta-ta
Strange young town
London bye ta-ta
Brought me down
Dont like your new face
Thats not nice
Got to go far, far
London bye ta-ta
Ahh
Oh-oh-oh
London bye ta-ta
Strange young town
London bye ta-ta
Brought me down
Dont like your new face
Thats not nice
Got to go far, far
London bye ta-ta
Oh, london bye ta-ta
Oh, london bye ta-ta
Oh, eh
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
New York City
Standing on the corner
Just me and yoko ono
We was waiting for jerry to land
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand
Singing, have a marijuana if you can
His name was david peel
And we found that he was real
He sang, the pope smokes dope every day
Up come a policeman shoved us up the street
Singing, power to the people today!
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Well down to maxs kansas city
Got down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band
Laid something down
As the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band!
And we played some funky boogie
And laid some tutti frutti
Singing, long tall sallys a man.
Up come a preacherman trying to be a teacher
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Well we did the staten island ferry
Making movies for the telly
Played the fillmore and apollo for freedom
Tried to shake our image
Just a cycling through the village
But found that we had left it back in london
Well nobody came to bug us
Hustle us or shove us
So we decided to make it our home
If the man wants to shove us out
We gonna jump and shout
The statue of liberty said, come!
New york city...new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
New york city...back in new york city...new york city
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
song performed by by Lennon John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
London
New York winter
Traffic squeals
The city feels...so old
Late December
Taxi ride
Then run inside
It's cold
Got your letter Monday
I think
Or Tuesday
I lose track
Since then I've been thinking of you
And I've been
Looking back to
London
Can you believe it's
So many years since
London
Hitching a ride and
Carrying knapsacks
London
In the park
By the Thames
Drinking tea
London
Sitting in pubs and
Living in walk-ups
London
Learning the accent
Learnin' to love you
London
We were young
We we sure
We were...free
Was it really ages
Ago
The memories
Never fade
Can you hear Big Ben where
You are
And are you
Glad you stayed in
London
Dodging the rain with
Broken umbrellas
London
Reading the times
On Saturday picnics
London
Counting the stars,
'Till the stars
All were gone
London
So many plans and
Nothing but time in
London
Nothing to fear 'cause
Nothing could last in
London
We grew close
We grew scared
I moved on
Oh London
What were we scared of
Why did I run from
London
Part of me still has
Never come back from
London
Is it fair
That I miss
You so much
Take good care
All my love
Keep in touch
New York winter
Taxi ride
Then run inside
It's cold
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Smash The Book
Today I am drunk with pain due to fragility
of reason.
Ungrateful city has defeated me.
I do not want any help
One piercing of morality is sufficient
to kill the portrait.
I have promised myself to commit my
hunger for a flame
which should burn probing the pickled
bones.
the kindness is tied to a smell of terrible
prophecies.
First pray for sanity and then smash
the book.
I will be trembling throughout the night.
poem by Satish Verma
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Today Is Monday
Today is Monday
What else can I say
Hate it as I may
I still need the pay
Today is Monday
Can't keep my mood at bay
So please stay away
If you don't want to be led astray
Today is Monday
Wish I can call it a day
Nothing I would say
Would make me happy and gay
Today is really Monday
When work cannot be shared
Nothing I can do but stare
Give me more if you dare
So..Monday please go away
I can't bear you to stay
Quickly come Saturday
Time for me to play
poem by Aed Hashim
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Plastic Passion
Plastic passion is a hard to handle
Plastic passion is a sold out scandal
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is the ladies lover
Plastic passion is the marble mother
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a diamond delight
Plastic passion is the nadir of night
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a hycoscine heart
Plastic passion is a transparent tart
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a gold guarantee
The plastic passion is murdering me
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
West London GIRL
It is nice to see & nice to be in bits of London town.
Today I travelled from West to East an that is a different kind of town.
There there's creative places, big markets and roundabouts.
The North is near with houses high
The South large with a big sky.
I'm a West London girl - through and through
My kind of town.
poem by Holda Felix
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Payment
A tortuous path of neurons arced a call: ‘Awake! ’
I did; in rising, peering, stretching, bearing,
Pained anticipation saw it all:
Foretold, another filthy day.
I drew the drape: diluvian lay the ground
Beneath a lazy leaden cloud – apissing out
The puddles; irksome on the roof –
The drumming drops of bitter glee
Were hounding out a hapless me –
Reinforcing doubt that I am sound.
I left the house
to go to work
to earn a crust
without a perk
then on to bust
another straining vessel.
Trudging on thro’ mud and clay, I pondered:
‘Why a drought of happy times?
Auspicious climes were
Old and fusty books
Atop a dusty shelf
Inside a morgue-of-a-room,
Somewhere in a long-forgotten library
Down a lane without a way.’
I thought again: ‘And still I pay.’
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
O how I
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Religion is pickled God.
quote by H.G. Wells
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!
quote by Sid Waddell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
If you want to eat pickled herring, think about the thirst you will have.
The Story Of My Old Man
i dont know too much about
too much of my old man
i know he walked right out the door
we never saw him again
last i heard he was at the bar
doing himself in
i know i got that same disease
i guess i got that from him
this is the story of my old man
just like his father before him
i'm telling you do anything you can
so you dont end just like them
like them
monday he woke up and hated life
drank until wednesday and left his wife
thursday through friday lost everything
woke up on sunday miserable again
i remember baseball games
and working on the car
he told me that he loved me
and that i would go far
showed me how to work hard
and stick up for myself
i wish he wasnt too hard
to listen to himself
this is the story of my old man
just like his father before him
i'm telling you do anything you can
so you dont end up just like them
like them
monday he woke up and hated life
drank until wednesday and left his wife
thursday through saturday lost everything
woke up on sunday miserable again
again
again
someday he'll wish that he made things right
made things right
long for his family and miss his wife
miss his wife
remember the days he had everything
everything
now he's alone and miserable again
song performed by by Good Charlotte
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My Old Man
I dont know much about, too much of my old man
I know he walked right out the door we never saw him again
Last I heard he was at the bar doing himself in
I know I got that same disease, I guess I got that from him
This is the story of my old man
Just like his father before him
Im telling you do anything you can
So you dont end up just like them, like them
Monday he woke up and hated life
Drank until wednesday and left his wife
Thursday thru saturday lost everything
Woke up on sunday miserable again
I remember baseball games and working on the car
He told me that he loved me and that I would go far
Showed me how to work hard and stick up for myself
I wish he wasnt too hard to listen to himself
This is the story of my old man
Just like his father before him
Im telling you do anything you can
So you dont end up just like them, like them
Monday he woke up and hated life
Drank until wednesday and left his wife
Thursday thru saturday lost everything
Woke up on sunday miserable again
Again...again...
Someday hell wish that he made things right (made things right)
Long for his family and miss his wife (miss his wife)
Remember the days he had everything (everything)
Now hes alone and miserable again
song performed by by Good Charlotte
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
2 Weeks
14 Days left
336 hours
Until the end of this chapter
The chapter of hell in my life
2 weeks until I leave
8 hours a day
8 hours of hell in this school
Dealing with ignorance driven by people
Pushing back judgmental walls
After all 8 years in this prison
All I have is 2 weeks,14 days,336 hours left inside this hellhole
Now I can’t figure out what to do
Skip graduation, or stand on the stage and face the music?
That answer has left me then came back
In just 2 week I’ll be gone never to set foot inside again
In just 14 days I’ll leave and never turn back
In just 336 hours, my face will be erased from this place
2 weeks until I graduate from 8th grade
Why now, it must end sooner
In just 2 months I’ll be in high school
2 weeks…
14 days… 336 hours…
The memory of me will be gone
poem by Marcellus Watts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Jars & Pickles
Jars and Pickles
Our George was a pickler,
pickles were his number,
pickled eggs and cucumbers,
and pickled meats for dinner.
He kept ‘em all in pickle jars,
some small, some large, some, round
and they were in his out house
where pickles would abound.
Some had pull tops, screw tops, twist,
some were sealed with paper, greased
and he'd strive to fill them up with treats
as his wife Lilly loved her treats.
Oh yes Lilly loved a pickle,
cauliflower was new and so
George would endeavour
to pickle quite a few.
Oh yes George loved to pickle
and finally broke through
when he made his dear wife Lilly
the proudest gal, tis true
for there upon the table,
all tied up with string
was a jar called Picalilly,
that made Lil's heart go zing!
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
New York City
Standing on the corner, just me and yoko ono,
We was waiting for jerry to land.
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand,
Singing, have a marijuana, if you can.
His name was david peel and we found that he was real,
He sang, the pope smokes dope evryday.
Up come a policeman, shoved us of the street,
Singing, power to the people today.
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, down to maxs, kansas city, got down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band.
Laid something down as the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band.
Well, we played some funky boogie, and laid some tutti fritti,
Singing, long tall sallys a man.
Up come a preacher man, tryin to be a teacher,
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Ha! ha!
Hey! hey! hey! hey!
Hey!
Oh yeah!
Hey! new york city!
Alright, new york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, we did the staten island ferry, making movies for the telly,
Played the fillmore and apollo for freedom.
Tried to shake our image, just a-cycling through the village,
But we found that we had left it back in london.
Well, nobody came to bug us, hustle us or shove us,
We decided to make it our home.
If the man wants to shove us out, we gonna jump and shout,
The statue of liberty said, come!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Oh, new york!
Uh, uh, uh.
Well, new york, yeh,
Alright!
Oh, new york city!
Back in new york city!
Yeah, new york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Ass city!
Down in the village,
Yeah, what a city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Yeah, rock on!
Ow! uh!
Yeah!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! what a bad, bad city!
Bad-ass city!
Bad-ass city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey, city! city!
Another version
--------------------------------
Recorded live at the madison square garden, new york, n.y. 30 august 1972
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Two, three, four!
Standing on the corner, just me and yoko ono,
We was waiting for her hour to land,
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand,
Have marijuana if you can.
Well, his name was david peel
And we found that he was real,
The pope smokes dope evry day.
Up come the police, shoved us off the street,
Singing, power to the people today!
New york city!
Madison square garden!
Hey!
Whats happenin, man?
Went back to kansas city, laid down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band.
Laid something down as the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band.
Played some tutti frutti and played some funky boogie,
Long tall sallys a man!
Up come the preacherman, tryin to be a teacher,
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey!
Ow!
Ooh!
Well, new york city, babe!
New york!
New york city!
Yeah, new york city!
Down in the village!
New york city!
Come on, hit it!
Ah, what a bad ass city!
Yeah!
Roll over!
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
New York City
Standing on the corner, just me and yoko ono,
We was waiting for jerry to land.
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand,
Singing, have a marijuana, if you can.
His name was david peel and we found that he was real,
He sang, the pope smokes dope evryday.
Up come a policeman, shoved us of the street,
Singing, power to the people today.
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, down to maxs, kansas city, got down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band.
Laid something down as the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band.
Well, we played some funky boogie, and laid some tutti fritti,
Singing, long tall sallys a man.
Up come a preacher man, tryin to be a teacher,
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Ha! ha!
Hey! hey! hey! hey!
Hey!
Oh yeah!
Hey! new york city!
Alright, new york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Well, we did the staten island ferry, making movies for the telly,
Played the fillmore and apollo for freedom.
Tried to shake our image, just a-cycling through the village,
But we found that we had left it back in london.
Well, nobody came to bug us, hustle us or shove us,
We decided to make it our home.
If the man wants to shove us out, we gonna jump and shout,
The statue of liberty said, come!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! hey!
Oh, new york!
Uh, uh, uh.
Well, new york, yeh,
Alright!
Oh, new york city!
Back in new york city!
Yeah, new york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Ass city!
Down in the village,
Yeah, what a city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Yeah, rock on!
Ow! uh!
Yeah!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey! what a bad, bad city!
Bad-ass city!
Bad-ass city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey, city! city!
Another version
--------------------------------
Recorded live at the madison square garden, new york, n.y. 30 august 1972
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Power to the people!
Two, three, four!
Standing on the corner, just me and yoko ono,
We was waiting for her hour to land,
Up come a man with a guitar in his hand,
Have marijuana if you can.
Well, his name was david peel
And we found that he was real,
The pope smokes dope evry day.
Up come the police, shoved us off the street,
Singing, power to the people today!
New york city!
Madison square garden!
Hey!
Whats happenin, man?
Went back to kansas city, laid down the nitty gritty
With the elephants memory band.
Laid something down as the news spread around
About the plastic ono elephants memory band.
Played some tutti frutti and played some funky boogie,
Long tall sallys a man!
Up come the preacherman, tryin to be a teacher,
Singing, gods a red herring in drag!
New york city!
New york city!
New york city!
Que pasa, new york?
Que pasa, new york?
Hey!
Ow!
Ooh!
Well, new york city, babe!
New york!
New york city!
Yeah, new york city!
Down in the village!
New york city!
Come on, hit it!
Ah, what a bad ass city!
Yeah!
Roll over!
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!