Aunt marjorie's wig
Aunt Marjorie's wig went a missin
While cooking a stew and reminiscing
She recalled her first kiss
as a bit hit and miss
With a fidgety midget from gissing
As she filled her meat pie
She started to cry
Cos the onion was burning a lot
It tasted quite bitter she thought with a titter
As she laughed in plopped her locks
Feeingl much lighter
she skipped and she hopped
Unware of her missing hairpiece
Though her head was much smaller
She could not recall when her wig found it's silent release
Short sighted from birth she stood by the hearth
And drank til she barely could stand
And without looking
she devoured her cooking
Bit by bit she gorged on each strand
Not knowng what she was doing
She just kept on chewing and chewing
Forcing the last dreg of the wig with her hand
She lay on her bed feeling quite overfed
With light shiny spot on her head
She turned over and over with a pain in just below her
Not sure of how long it would last
So she went to the loo
And after a BIG NUMBER 2
She saw a large hairy hat floating past! !
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Chewing Gum
chewing gum
wondering where i've been and what i've done
wondering where i'll go and where i'll run
hide myself away from everyone
chewing gum
doesn't ['does it'] bother you that you're not the one
keeps you up at night in a fear of dream
to count the silver bullet of your misty
it's yours to keep
chewing gum
innocence lost in electric smiles
perfectly cast in desperate clouds ['colds']
loving with under
city lights
with all their {miles}
and all i need
is you
by my side
by my side
by my side
chewing gum
wondering where i've been and what i've done
wondering where i'll go and where i'll run
hide myself away from everyone
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
got myself a piece of
chewing gum
song performed by by Smashing Pumpkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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MaMa's Cooking
Thinking of times I would say what's cooking everyday
It's an assortment of goodie things
Chocolate, pies and banana pudding
Enough food and that's Mama's cooking
Thinking of times I would say what's cooking everyday
Apron in hand and lasting impression I didn't want to miss
Everything seem perfect from beginning to end
Enough food and that's Mama's Cooking
Thinking of times I would say what's cooking everyday
Smiling faces and a gentle speech of o.k.
Noone knows how much the void I can't fill
Enough food and that Mama's Cooking
Thinking of times I would say what's cooking everyday
Being polite and sincere would carry the weight
Seemingly enough she has the greater plan
Enough food and that Mama's Cooking ahead
Thinking of times I would say what's cooking everyday
The napkins, plates and never-ending why didn't it last
Noone knows how much the void I can't fill
Enough food and that's Mama's Cooking again
Thinking of times I would say what's cooking everyday
Craving for the turkey and dressing pan
Not to admit, seemed a bit much
Enough Food and that's Mama's Cooking again
So nowadays, I look for the needle in the haystack
Wishing on the times, she would come back
It's been 10 years, since I said thoughs word's
Enough food and that Mama's blessing for us
Missing mom everyday becomes second-nature for me
Enough food, Enough love and One day she'll see
For know I'll take her spirits with me and others will speak
Enough food, Enough love and One day she'll see
poem by Natasha McGee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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He Ain't Worth Missing
He's flying high tonight
He's got a brand new lover
Here you come a-runnin'
You're looking for some cover
I know you're sad and lonely
I know you're feeling blue
You miss him so much
Won't let me get to close to you
Oh he ain't worth missin'
Oh we should be kissin'
Stop all this foolish wishin'
He ain't worth missin'
I know your head is turnin'
I know your heart is burnin'
Girl you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missin'
You know I'm here to save you
But you ain't through cryin' yet
Look at your pretty face
All red and soakin' wet
I'm gonna try and make him
Just a memory
Come on baby let's get started
First thing you got to see
Oh he ain't worth missin'
Oh we should be kissin'
Stop all this foolish wishin'
He ain't worth missin'
I know your head is turnin'
I know your heart is burnin'
Girl you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missin'
If you need someone to hold you
Someone to ease your pain
Well I'll be holding steady
Girl when you get ready
I'm gonna show you
Love is a good thing
Yeah love is a good thing
Oh he ain't worth missin'
Oh we should be kissin'
Stop all that foolish wishin'
Ooh the boy ain't worth missin'
I know your head is turnin'
I know your heart is burnin'
Girl you gotta listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missin'
Oh he ain't worth missin'
Oh we should be kissin'
Stop all that foolish wishin'
He ain't worth missin'
I know your head is turnin'
I know your heart is burnin'
Girl you gotta listen
song performed by by Toby Keith from Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He Aint Worth Missing
(toby keith)
Hes flying high tonight
Hes got a brand new lover
Here you come a-runnin
Youre looking for some cover
I know youre sad and lonely
I know youre feeling blue
You miss him so much
Oh let me get to close to you
Oh, he aint worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He aint worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Dont you know he aint worth missing
You know Im here to save you
But you aint through crying yet
Look at your pretty face
All red and soaking wet
Im gonna try and make him
Just a memory
Come on baby, lets get started
First thing you got to see
Oh, he aint worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He aint worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Dont you know he aint worth missing
If you need someone to hold you
Someone to ease your pain
Well, Ill be holding steady
Girl when you get ready
Im gonna show you
Love is a good thing
Oh, he aint worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He aint worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Dont you know he aint worth missing
Oh, he aint worth missing
Oh, we should be kissing
Stop all this foolish wishing
He aint worth missing
I know your head is turning
I know your heart is burning
Girl, you gotta listen
Dont you know he aint worth missing
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rowing Your Way
He sat under a palm tree
serenading his lady fair
when a coconut dropped on his head
and he sat with a blank stare there.
She whispered sweet words of nothing,
but he couldn’t hear a thing
only somewhere in the distance
he head a cuckoo sing.
She garland him with pansies
and he looked a proper prat,
then a big bird came along
and deposited something on his hat
and as it run down on his chin
he thought his lady fair
had given a gooey kiss to him.
Then he opened up his eyes
and much to his surprise
he found himself in a cooking pot
and his lady fair was cooking him.
The vegetables floated on the water,
which was getting hotter.
Oh my, oh my, he shouted
and jumped out of the pot
and into the fire.
He legged it as fast as he could
smelling the smoke of his shoes on fire.
The natives took to hot pursuit
as along the sand he ran.
Wanting to dive in the water
but the dorsal fins of sharks
looking for a tasty bite
made him think twice as he flee.
Now he was in a pondery of which way to go
caught between the cooking pot and the deep blue sea.
Then he saw his route to escape
someone had left a dingy
up there on the beach.
Pushing it into the water
he began to paddle like mad,
but the dingy had a hole in it
and right then he wished he could fly.
With one hand bailing
and one hand rowing,
he struggled on.
If he could reach the nearby by island
he figured he would be safe.
The natives from where he came
lit a fire and with smoke signals
told their brothers that dinner
would soon be rowing your way.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dear friends, we surely all agree
'Dear friends, we surely all agree
There's almost nothing worse to see
Than some repulsive little bum
Who's always chewing chewing gum.
(It's very near as bad as those
Who sit around and pick the nose).
So please believe us when we say
That chewing gum will never pay;
This sticky habit's bound to send
The chewer to a sticky end.
Did any of you ever know
A person called Miss Bigelow?
This dreadful woman saw no wrong
In chewing, chewing all day long.
She chewed while bathing in the tub,
She chewed while dancing at her club,
She chewed in church and on the bus;
It really was quite ludicrous!
And when she couldn't find her gum,
She'd chew up the linoleum,
Or anything that happened near–
A pair of boots, the postman's ear,
Or other people's underclothes,
And once she chewed her boy friend's nose.
She went on chewing till, at last,
Her chewing muscles grew so vast
That from her face her giant chin
Stuck out just like a violin.
For years and years she chewed away,
Consuming fifty packs a day,
Until one summer's eve, alas,
A horrid business came to pass.
Miss Bigelow went late to bed,
For half an hour she lay and read,
Chewing and chewing all the while
Like some great clockwork crocodile.
At last, she put her gum away
Upon a special little tray,
And settled back and went to sleep–
(She managed this by counting sheep).
But now, how strange! Although she slept,
Those massive jaws of hers still kept
On chewing, chewing through the night,
Even with nothing there to bite.
They were, you see, in such a groove
They positively had to move.
And very grim it was to hear
In pitchy darkness, loud and clear,
This sleeping woman's great big trap
Opening and shutting, snap–snap–snap!
Faster and faster, chop–chop–chop,
The noise went on, it wouldn't stop.
Until at last her jaws decide
To pause and open extra wide,
And with the most tremendous chew
They bit the lady's tongue in two.
Thereafter, just from chewing gum,
Miss Bigelow was always dumb,
And spent her life shut up in some
Disgusting sanatorium.
And that is why we'll try so hard
To save Miss Violet Beauregard
From suffering an equal fate.
She's still quite young. It's not too late,
Provided she survives the cure.
We hope she does. We can't be sure.'
poem by Roald Dahl
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chewing Gum (Fun Poem 46)
I enjoy chewing gum
it takes my mind off cigarettes,
but because I have false teeth.
(I lost the real ones years ago)
Chewing gum become like chewing super glue.
When it sticks, boy does it stick.
You stand in the bathroom
completely and utterly gummy
scraping the gum of your dentures.
So now, my motto is
if you have dentures
suck on a hard-boiled sweet,
they don’t stick to your teeth.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't like gourmet cooking or ""this"" cooking or ""that"" cooking. I like good cooking.
quote by James Beard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Show Tune II
That's the long and short of it
now you know
how I've been waiting all these years
where I'm coming from
that's the long and short of it.
That's the long and short of it
now you see
just how hot hot jazz was
how it turned about, my bookcase
that's the long and short of it.
That's the long and short of it
now you know
that my arrest record's
not my best record
that's the long and short of it.
That's the long and short of it
now you see
how the Past's like a love
you can neither leave nor live
that's the long and short of it
That's the long and short of it
now you know
it was no gun in my pocket
it was a rocket
that's the long and short of it.
That's the long and short of it
and you're wond'ring dear
how I kept so pure
hull, it was easy
that's the long and short of it.
That's the long and short of it
now you see
so bounce your head
into bed
that's the long and short of it.
That's the long and short of it
read the blues
in these tattoos
make a song of it
that's the short and long of it.
How I wish
there was a bridge-
then I could burn it;
or the train
of a refrain
then I could board it
but there isn't
no there isn't, so...
poem by Morgan Michaels
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hole In The Head
Seven hours since you went away
Eleven coffees, Rickki Lake on play
But late at night when I'm feeling blue
I'd sell my ass before I think of you
Seven hours since you closed the door
Started a diet, got a manicure
Erased your number from my telephone
And if you call me I won't be at home
He said:
Bridge
Why don't you cry
For the day
Say goodbye
Runaway
Why don't you cry
For the guy
Say goodbye
I said ok, 'cos...
Chorus
Ooh, won't you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy,
And it's cool boy
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy,
Such a fool boy
Eleven hours on a brand new day
I'm getting ready to go out and play
It's late at night, I'm caught in a groove
I'd kiss my ass before I'm feeling blue
Seven hours, what you calling for?
A bunch of flowers and I slam the door
You're in my face, sorry what's your name?
Takes more than begging to reverse my brain
'cos...
Chorus
Ooh, won't you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy,
And it's cool boy
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy,
Such a fool boy
I'm through with it
Over it
Not having it
Crazy sh*t
Not feeling this
Can't deal, I quit
No more, no more
I'm through with it
Not having it
This crazy sh*t
Not feeling it
Can't deal with it
No more, I quit
No more, no more
Breaking off the brunt
A brand new day has just begun
Just because you made me go "ooh"
Doesn't mean I'll put up with you
Don't you dare come back
Can't u see I won't take that?
I ain't crying over you
Better fill your head up like I told you
Bridge
Why don't you cry
For the day
Say goodbye
Runaway
Why don't you cry
For the guy
Say goodbye
I said ok, 'cos...
Chorus
Ooh, won't you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy,
And it's cool boy
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy,
Such a fool boy (such a fool)
Chorus
Ooh, won't you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy (I do)
And it's cool boy (yeah it's cool)
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy, (I do boy)
Such a fool boy (such a fool)
song performed by by Sugababes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I started cooking when I was about 10. I have memories like when I was 6 or 7 with my mom, and when I was 12 I started getting real serious about cooking.
quote by Emeril Lagasse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I sometimes think the chef end of cooking is not the real end of cooking. Cooking is all about homes and gardens, it doesn't happen in restaurants.
quote by Delia Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Frog's Life
Once upon a lily pad,
There sat a mother frog
Hungry for some food,
She hopped from log to log
Eating flies and skeeters,
All throughout the day
Worms weren’t quite as good,
But she ate them anyway
She found a comfy spot,
And laid a bunch of eggs
Then hopped away from the nest,
With a push from her back legs
The eggs turned into tadpoles,
That swam around the pond
They started growing legs,
And turned into tiny frogs
poem by Chris Marion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Miss You (feat. Jadakiss)
Said Jermaine likes it... and I like it
(Uh, uh huh yeah, uh huh yeah) uh huh yeah (uh)
(Uh huh yeah, yeah)
You know I'm really missing you baby uh huh yeah (MC)
You know I'm really missing you baby uh huh yeah (So So Def)
You know I'm really missing you baby uh huh yeah
Baby, baby I miss you (heh heh, come on)
Longing for you every day and I reach for you every night
(uh huh yeah)
Baby nothing's been the same since the day we said goodbye
And I can't go on like this for too long
Baby, baby I miss you (uh huh yeah)
Boy I need you next to me and I'm hungering for your touch
Caught up in the memories and you're all I'm thinking of (uh huh yeah)
Cuz I can't get past what we used to have (yeah)
Baby, baby I miss you (come on)
Chorus:
I'm talkin bout how I used to like it when you whispered to me
Tell me that you loved me and those beautiful things
Baby won't you come back cuz I'm really in need
I'm lost in your love
And I don't know what to do with myself
I don't wanna be with nobody else
I just think about you, think about us
Think about how much I miss you
All I do is reminisce of the love that we used to share (uh huh yeah)
Can't recover from your kiss because nothing else compares (uh huh yeah)
Ain't no substitute when it comes to you (come on)
Baby, baby I miss you
Visions of us hand in hand come to me when I close my eyes
(uh huh yeah)
Baby I don't understand how we let it all slip by
Tell me can we try baby, one more time
Baby, baby I miss you
Chorus
Remember when our eyes first met (uh huh)
I knew I'd never be the same again (this part's sexy right here)
Why can't it just be like it was (yeah)
Enough is enough (yo)
Baby I miss your love (Ja-da, *muah*)
Jadakiss:
Uh, uh huh
Yo, I remember when I first kicked it to you
We hit it off well, the I used to whisper to you
It was all swell
Said you came from a family with money
Me, I was fresh off the block handling twenties
When I smiled, was you open or what (uh huh yeah)
Say you can't judge a book by the cover till you open it up
Past hot, we was more like lavable (uh huh)
Used to chill and the smoke didn't bother you
Beauty of a rose, scent of a flower
Love when I tell her to get in the shower
Hit it for hours (whoo!)
When I thought you was able to cope that's where things fell apart ma
Then it stagnated us both
And now the pain is killing you crazy
When all the time in your mind you knew I was feeling you crazy
But Kiss is official boo and I'ma come clean
You miss me, well I miss you too (come on)
Chorus (2 times)
song performed by by Mariah Carey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Science Friction
I look out of my window at night
I see the stars and Im filled with fright
I got a feeling someones looking
It aint the aliens at the foot of my bed
Its more the ale inside my head
I got a feeling somethings cooking
Science friction burns my fingers
Electricity still lingers
Hey put away that ray, how do you martians say
I love you
I read my comics from front to back
Ill be ready for any attack
I got a feeling someones looking
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Science Friction
I look out of my window at night
I see the stars and Im filled with fright
I got a feeling someones looking
It aint the aliens at the foot of my bed
Its more the ale inside my head
I got a feeling somethings cooking
Science friction burns my fingers
Electricity still lingers
Hey put away that ray, how do you martians say
I love you
I read my comics from front to back
Ill be ready for any attack
I got a feeling someones looking
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This Dog Loves Its Master
This poem tells a simple story
Of a man and his dog
A young vagrant in rags and his dog.
One was happy one was bored
One was hungry one was sad
One was unsatisfied to be clad
In cloth so coarse and sore to the eyes
One was content enough for someone nice
To pat him and stroke him time to time
Even if he had to eat and drink grime
Though a small piece of meat would be great
And a scratching post to relieve the itch in his head
One rainy day the vagrant grew tired of begging
And decided to sell his companion
With the money he’d be able to buy something
Even if its food miserable like onion
And he sold his faithful dog to a merchant
And received a piece of gold
He thought: It’s more than worth for a dog so old
As he thanked the smiling merchant
While the vagrant enjoyed a short-lived luxury
And resumed his former state
His faithful dog lived in lavishness
But it never got its master off its head
One day it took a big piece of meat
And ran to look for its master
It found him shivering and dirty as can be
And gave him the meat to satisfy his hunger
The vagrant was sorry and hugged his dog
And cried and regretted his actions
But the gold was paid
He could not but said
“Go! And return to that mansion! ”
Beating the dog as painlessly as can be
And forcing it to return
The merchant then came
And said “Be ashamed,
For this dog loves its master.”
poem by Morphing Professor
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Greedy poem Gannet
I stuff my face with poems here
The meals served up in reams
I indulge in wordy gluttony
I'm bursting at the seams
But still you serve me more and more
Just like a pushing Aunt
I eat and eat all that I can
But finish? I just can't
You cook and bake and fry and grill
The most delicious food
I want to at least try it all
So you don't think me rude
Even 'back of cupboard' tins
Will not go out if date
And if you all stopped cooking
All the meals would still taste great
There so much here to be consumed
Enough to feed the planet
I savour all I can
As I'm a greedy poem gannet
I've started cooking recently
To add into the mix
I have a mind of recipes
Do try the meals I fix!
poem by Stevie Taite
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Un-named Hero
I just couldn’t smile only frown
My life was falling tumbling down
Every night it was the same
But in my heart there’s really no one to blame
My heart was hurting in so much pain
From being broken again and again
The words replayed around my head
I would’ve thought by then my heart be dead
All the sorrow was too much to bear
And slowly no one started to care
I’d lay awake in bed at night
In my life was a fading light
My hero had fallen wounded bad
To watch him suffer made me sad
But how still I call him that?
For he caused my life to become that flat
Yet he remains my hero you don’t get why?
He caused my hopes to soar and dreams to fly
He stood by me when I fell down
When I was lost he made me found
He gave me new eyes to view life
And now I see it with less strife
He is my hero can’t you see?
No matter what he’ll always be
So when I lie in bed at night
I am filled with a different light
A new hope and no despair
He showed me I’ve got Jesus always there
That’s why he is my hero I’m left without a doubt
Whenever I’m in trouble it’ll always get sort out
I smile lift my head and sigh
To my old life I can say goodbye
I been through many up’s and downs
But now it’s all been turned around
So I can stand here today
Confident to say
Thanks to my hero
And tell him
I love you always.
poem by Iizgam French
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Had A Dream
I had a dream
As though it seemed
Just the other day,
And you were there
Just like my prayer
Answering the words I prayed.
You took my hand
You helped me stand
And I rose to meet your eyes,
And as I stood
The way a man should
You were gone, and I knew not why.
I looked around
You couldnt be found
Then for you I cried as I spoke
“Why did you leave”
“Come back to me please”
But you didnt, so I awoke.
I had a dream
As though it seemed
Just the other night.
And you were there
Just like my prayer
Standing in the moon light.
You gave me a smile
Which I longed for a while
Joy was in my heart and soul
I began to smile
Just like a child
As my memories of you began to grow.
I thought of our past
As I wished it would always last
But you shook your head sadly No
So I shed a tear
Which dissapeared
And sadly again, I awoke.
I had a dream
as though it seemed
Late last night
And you were there
Just like my prayer
My woman, my wife and my life.
I took your hand
As I am your man
Together we will be
I wouldnt let go
as you shook your head no,
Together you and me.
I gave you a kiss
Which I did miss
Then you began to weep
You cried saying that I will awake
Without you to a new day
Then I said “no”, I will sleep
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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