Esther, A Sonnet Sequence: XLII

And so we went our way,--yes, hand in hand,
Like two lost children in some magic wood
Baffled and baffling with enchanter's wand
The various beasts that crossed us and withstood.
Each step was an experience. Every mood
Of that fair woman a fresh gospelling,
Which spoke aloud to me and stirred my blood
To a new faith, I knew not with what sting.
One thing alone I knew or cared to know,
Her strange companionship thus strangely won.
The past, the future, all of weal or woe
In my old life was gone, for ever gone.
And still to this I clung as one who clings
To hope's last hencoop in the wreck of things.

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Guillaume Apollinaire

The Gypsy

The gypsy knew in advance
Our two lives star-crossed by night
We said farewell to her and then
from that deep well Hope began
Love heavy a performing bear
Danced upright when we wanted
And the blue bird lost his plumes
And the beggars lost their Ave
We knew quite well that we were damned
But hope of love in the street
Made us think hand in hand
Of what the Gypsy did foresee

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Speak the truth and you'll be heard.

She told me she cared,
I knew she lied,
She told them she cared,
They knew she lied,
She said she wanted me to be the best,
I knew she lied,
She said to them she wanted me to be the best,
They knew she lied,
She whispered she loved me,
I knew she lied,
She whispered to them she loved me,
They knew she lied,

She pretended everything when I was there,
She pretended to love me,
She pretended to care,
She said she wanted me to be happy,

We all knew the truth was not what she speak,
We all knew the truth was just about to leak,
We all knew the truth would come out,
We all knew the truth, with no doubt,

She was just like the people surrounding,
Pretending, acting, lying,
So the truth is what I spoke when I spoke to her,
I told her the truth is true, the truth is fair,
I told her...

If it's a lie, don't say another word,
However, speak the truth, and you'll be heard,

To lie to someone who truly loves you for you,
Is one of the most cruel things you can ever do,

To let them believe what you say to them is true,
When really all your thinking about is you, you and you.

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Fade Into You

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath thats true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
Youll come apart and youll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
A strangers light comes on slowly
A strangers heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
I think its strange you never knew

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As a World Would Have It

ALCESTIS


Shall I never make him look at me again?
I look at him, I look my life at him,
I tell him all I know the way to tell,
But there he stays the same.

Shall I never make him speak one word to me?
Shall I never make him say enough to show
My heart if he be glad? Be glad? … ah! God,
Why did they bring me back?

I wonder, if I go to him again,
If I take him by those two cold hands again,
Shall I get one look of him at last, or feel
One sign—or anything?

Or will he still sit there in the same way,
Without an answer for me from his lips,
Or from his eyes,—or even with a touch
Of his hand on my hand?…

“Will you look down this once—look down at me?
Speak once—and if you never speak again,
Tell me enough—tell me enough to make
Me know that you are glad!

“You are my King, and once my King would speak:
You were Admetus once, you loved me once:
Life was a dream of heaven for us once—
And has the dream gone by?

“Do I cling to shadows when I call you Life?
Do you love me still, or are the shadows all?
Or is it I that love you in the grave,
And you that mourn for me?

“If it be that, then do not mourn for me;
Be glad that I have loved you, and be King.
But if it be not that—if it be true …
Tell me if it be true!”

Then with a choking answer the King spoke;
But never touched his hand on hers, or fixed
His eyes on hers, or on the face of her:
“Yes, it is true,” he said.

“You are alive, and you are with me now;
And you are reaching up to me that I—
That I may take you—I that am a King—
I that was once a man."

So then she knew. She might have known before;
Truly, she thought, she must have known it long
Before: she must have known it when she came
From that great sleep of hers.

She knew the truth, but not yet all of it:
He loved her, but he would not let his eyes
Prove that he loved her; and he would not hold
His wife there in his arms.

So, like a slave, she waited at his knees,
And waited. She was not unhappy now.
She quivered, but she knew that he would speak
Again—and he did speak.

And while she felt the tremor of his words,
He told her all there was for him to tell;
And then he turned his face to meet her face,
That she might look at him.

She looked; and all her trust was in that look,
And all her faith was in it, and her love;
And when his answer to that look came back,
It flashed back through his tears.

So then she put her arms around his neck,
And kissed him on his forehead and his lips;
And there she clung, fast in his arms again,
Triumphant, with closed eyes.

At last, half whispering, she spoke once more:
“Why was it that you suffered for so long?
Why could you not believe me—trust in me?
Was I so strange as that?

“We suffer when we do not understand;
And you have suffered—you that love me now—
Because you are a man.… There is one thing
No man can understand.

“I would have given everything?—gone down
To Tartarus—to silence? Was it that?
I would have died? I would have let you live?—
And was it very strange?”

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Strange Magic

Youre sailing softly through the sun
In a broken stone age dawn.
You fly so high.
I get a strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.
Youre walking meadows in my mind,
Making waves across my time,
Oh no, oh no.
I get a strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.
Oh, Im never gonna be the same again,
Now Ive seen the way its got to end,
Sweet dream, sweet dream.
Strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.
Its magic, its magic, its magic.
Strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic.
Strange magic strange magic
Oh, what a strange magic strange magic
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic.
Strange magic strange magic
Oh, what a strange magic strange magic
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic,
You know I got a strange magic,
Yeah, I got a strange magic,
Oo-o-o-oo, strange magic. (fade)

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Rudyard Kipling

The Vampire

A fool there was and he made his prayer
(Even as you and I!)
To a rag and a bone and a hank of hair
(We called her the woman who did not care),
But the fool he called her his lady fair
(Even as you and I!)

Oh the years we waste and the tears we waste
And the work of our head and hand,
Belong to the woman who did not know
(And now we know that she never could know)
And did not understand.

A fool there was and his goods he spent
(Even as you and I!)
Honor and faith and a sure intent
But a fool must follow his natural bent
(And it wasn't the least what the lady meant),
(Even as you and I!)

Oh the toil we lost and the spoil we lost
And the excellent things we planned,
Belong to the woman who didn't know why
(And now we know she never knew why)
And did not understand.

The fool we stripped to his foolish hide
(Even as you and I!)
Which she might have seen when she threw him aside --
(But it isn't on record the lady tried)
So some of him lived but the most of him died --
(Even as you and I!)

And it isn't the shame and it isn't the blame
That stings like a white hot brand.
It's coming to know that she never knew why
(Seeing at last she could never know why)
And never could understand.

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The Father

The evening found us whom the day had fled,
Once more in bitter anger, you and I,
Over some small, some foolish, trivial thing
Our anger would not decently let die,
But dragged between us, shamed and shivering
Until each other's taunts we scarcely heard,
Until we lost the sense of all we said,
And knew not who first spoke the fatal word.
It seemed that even every kiss we wrung
We killed at birth with shuddering and hate,
As if we feared a thing too passionate.
However close we clung
One hour the next hour found us separate,
Estranged, and Love most bitter on our tongue.

To-night we quarrelled over one small head,
Our fruit of last year's maying, the white bud
Blown from our stormy kisses and the dead
First rapture of our wild, estranging blood.
You clutched him: there was panther in your eyes,
We breathed like beasts in thickets, on the wall
Our shadows in huge challenge seemed to rise,
The room grew dark with anger. Yet through all
The shame and hurt and pity of it you were
Still strangely and imperishably dear,
As one who loves the wild day none the less
That breaks in bitter hands the buds of Spring,
Whose cold hand stops the breath of loveliness,
And drives the wailing ghost of beauty past,
Making the rose, — even the rose, a thing
For pain to be remembered by at last.

I said: 'My son shall wear his father's sword.'
You said: 'Shall hands once blossoms at my breast
Be stained with blood?' I answered with a word
More bitter, and your own, the bitterest
Stung me to sullen anger, and I said:
'My son shall be no coward of his line
Because his mother choose'; you turned your head
And your eyes grew implacable in mine.
And like a trodden snake you turned to meet
The foe with sudden hissing… then you smiled,
And broke our life in pieces at my feet,
'Your child?' you said: 'Your child?'

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In The Wind

We watched as darkness would fall
upon our sacred land
still we tried to keep peace at hand
though they would have seen us gone
we kept going on

Killing our men, women and children
we kept living never giving in
proud of who we were
we would make our stand
being as one with all creation

And when they knew we would stay
they tried to change who we are
but still we reached for the light
that would guide us through it all
for we knew this is where we belong
and our time to rise wouldn't be far

Guided by the Great Spirit
we knew thier would be a better day
for in the wind we heard the call
for our future generation
that would make it right
still never to forget

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I Believe

I believe in you
If you believe in me
And i believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
We'll stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And i believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
We'll stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way we've always planned
I still remember how it used to be
Seclusion in our love so deep
A world to touch that meant so much to me
And promises we couldn't hope to keep
The cool romance and nights of ecstasy
Slip slowly by on paper wings
The cold reality of you and me
Came creeping like a storm cloud gathering
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And i believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
We'll stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way we've always planned
The balance of our love hangs tenderly
A careful step through broken glass, yeah
One thoughtless word could kill a memory
And days we loved together in the past
I give and take i do my very best
To keep this vision that i've seen
I give respect if you could just accept
There never really was a perfect me
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And i believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
We'll stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way we've always planned
You walk away and see yourself in retrospect
Remember all of love's first visions
Step aside try to see just what went wrong
Living together isn't easy all the time
I believe in you if you believe in me, oh
There's still the chance that we can find romance, yeah
I know we can
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And i believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
We'll stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way we've always planned
I believe in you, if you believe in me
I believe in you, i believe in you...
United undivided...

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The Dream

Believe me, this was true last night,
Tho' it is false to-day.
-- A.M.F. Robinson.


A fair dream to my chamber flew:
Such a crowd of folk that stirred,
Jested, fluttered; only you,
You alone of all that band,
Calm and silent, spake no word.
Only once you neared my place,
And your hand one moment's space
Sought the fingers of my hand;
Your eyes flashed to mine; I knew
All was well between us two.

* * * * *

On from dream to dream I past,
But the first sweet vision cast
Mystic radiance o'er the last.

* * * * *

When I woke the pale night lay
Still, expectant of the day;
All about the chamber hung
Tender shade of twilight gloom;
The fair dream hovered round me, clung
To my thought like faint perfume:--
Like sweet odours, such as cling
To the void flask, which erst encloses
Attar of rose; or the pale string
Of amber which has lain with roses.

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Everybody Knows

I got your number right off the wall
Bristol 285 wont you give me a call
Well I was 15 thought I was hot
I didnt know if youd see me or not
And that night as we stepped out
We were hand in hand
But my friends all seemed to know you
I couldnt understand
That everybody knew, everybody knew, they knew your name
But nobody wants nobody wants to play your game
You seemed so shy so all alone-y
Without any hint of ever being phony
But then the little things that came to light
Like the strange hours you worked late at night
And as we laid in your bed that night
You made me feel like a king
Then as I looked into your eyes
I heard that telephone ring
And everybody knows, everybody knows, they know your name
But nobody wants, nobody wants, to play your game
Oh no, they dont want to know your game again
(instrumental)
And everybody knows, everybody knows, they know your name
Nobody wants, nobody wants, to play your game
And everybody knew, everybody knew, they knew your name
But nobody wants nobody wants to play your game
(instrumental to the end...)

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I Believe (In You)

I believe in you
If you believe in me
And I believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
Well stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And I believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
Well stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way weve always planned
I still remember how it used to be
Seclusion in our love so deep
A world to touch that meant so much to me
And promises we couldnt hope to keep
The cool romance and nights of ecstasy
Slip slowly by on paper wings
The cold reality of you and me
Came creeping like a storm cloud gathering
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And I believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
Well stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way weve always planned
The balance of our love hangs tenderly
A careful step through broken glass, yeah
One thoughtless word could kill a memory
And days we loved together in the past
I give and take I do my very best
To keep this vision that Ive seen
I give respect if you could just accept
There never really was a perfect me
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And I believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
Well stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way weve always planned
You walk away and see yourself in retrospect
Remember all of loves first visions
Step aside try to see just what went wrong
Living together isnt easy all the time
I believe in you if you believe in me, oh
Theres still the chance that we can find romance, yeah
I know we can
I believe in you
If you believe in me
And I believe that faith and hope and love brings harmony
United once again
Well stand there hand in hand
And put love back together just the way weve always planned
I believe in you, if you believe in me
I believe in you, I believe in you...
United undivided...

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Ah, If You Knew

Ah, if you knew how soon and late
My eyes long for a sight of you
Sometimes in passing by my gate
You'd linger until fall of dew,
If you but knew!

Ah, if you knew how sick and sore
My life flags for the want of you,
Straightway you'd enter at the door
And clasp my hand between your two,
If you but knew!

Ah, if you knew how lost and lone
I watch and weep and wait for you,
You'd press my heart close to your own
Till love had healed me through and through,
If you but knew!

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If You But Knew

Ah, if you knew how soon and late
My eyes long for a sight of you,
Sometimes in passing by my gate
You'd linger until fall of dew,
If you but knew!

Ah, if you knew how sick and sore
My life flags for the want of you,
Straightway you'd enter at the door
And clasp my hand between your two,
If you but knew!

Ah, if you knew how lost and lone
I watch and weep and wait for you,
You'd press my heart close to your own
Till love had healed me through and through,
If you but knew!

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Rosie Had Everything Planned

Acting upon information received
Rosie had everything planned
Stood in a garden with a shotgun in hand
What a woman
Whilst entertaining the headlines next day
Rosie would not be released
If it was found that her man was deceased
Silly woman
Oh but Rosie, a girl with a strange kind of humor
Stupidly took it a roomer
Making her think that she'd lost
Double-crossed by a man who still
Stood in the garden and shaking her head
Rosie could not understand
Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand
Sad, sad woman
Oh but Rosie, how could a few words have made her
Certain that he had betrayed her
Making her think that she'd lost
Double-crossed by a man who still very near to her
Row upon row of angel-hair
Rosie had everything planned
Sure that the people would not understand
Sad, sad woman

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Touched By The Hand Of God

I was standing by the ocean when I saw your face
I couldnt look at you
I guess you knew it but I never realized
That we were through
And now Im down here all alone
With every feeling that I own
You cant take that away
And with every breath we take
And the illusions we create
Will come to you someday
And I was touched
By the hand of god
Never knew it
But of course I was
I never hoped to do the things in this world
I wanted to
Because everything I own
It belongs to you
I never looked at you in a sexual way
In my life before
And Ive never woken up like this
So desparately before
And I was touched
By the hand of god
Never knew it
But of course I was

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The Only One For Me

You just happen to be
the only one for me.
And even though I never knew it
up until now,
it's confusing to me
and makes me wonder how
so many years that I've been given
I missed out on so much livin'.

But love is magic
and the magic takes you
to where you belong.
Yeah, love is magic.
It reaches out to you
just like a song.

The years that flew when I never knew
are all the years that I lost.
But it's okay now 'cause I know somehow
that all those roads that I crossed
have led me back to you.

You just happen to be
the only one for me.
And even though I know it
I'm not allowed to show it
So I keep you locked inside my heart
and the magic won't let it ever depart.
'Cause you just happen to be
the only one, the one for me.

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In That Mood To Pursue

I'm in that mood.
In that mood.
To pursue,
And do...
Just for me and not a thing to prove.

I'm in that mood.
In that mood.
To pursue,
And do...
Just for me,
And not a thing to prove.

I woke up in attitude I knew.
Arrogant but more...
Determinance.
Like a man standing in defense...
Of what I have now with confidence.
And no one's gona try to say I make no sense.

I'm in that mood.
In that mood.
To pursue,
And do...
Just for me and not a thing to prove.

I'm in that mood.
In that mood.
To pursue,
And do...
Just for me,
And not a thing to prove.

I woke up in attitude I knew.
Arrogant,
With a meaning intent.
And a mind tracked on common sense.

I'm in that mood.
In that mood.
To pursue,
And do...
Just for me,
And not a thing to prove.

I feel there's nothing now that I can't do.

I'm in that mood,
For me.
No one has to agree.
I'm up,
And ready to fulfill my needs.
I said I'm up...
And ready to fulfill my needs.

I'm in that mood.
In that mood.
To pursue,
And do...
Just for me and not a thing to prove,
To you or nobody in that groove...
Who aint got it goin' and movin'!

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I Have A Woman Inside My Soul

I have a woman inside my soul,
Her eyes sombre and sad.
She waves her hand to try to reach me,
But I cant hear what she says.
I wish I knew what she says,
I wish I knew what she wants,
I wish I knew what she says to me,
I wish I knew what she means to me.
I see an asphalt road inside my soul,
Its pale even in a warm summers day.
It stretches into the mist and calls me,
But I dont know what it takes.
I wish I knew what it takes, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it gives, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it says to me, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it means to me. (I wish I knew)
I see a tombstone inside my soul,
Its old and mossy, covered in dead leaves.
It stands with an engraving on it surface,
But I dont know what it reads.
I wish I knew what it reads, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it says, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it says to me, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it means to me. (I wish I knew)
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey)
I feel snow covering inside my soul,
Its hard and shining in shades of grey.
No footsteps ever made their marks,
And I dont know when it melts.
I wish I knew when it melts, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew when it happens, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew if it happens at all, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it means to me. (I wish I knew)
I hear a stream running inside my soul,
Its cold and clear and carries a tune.
But I dont know what it sings and tells,
I dont know where it goes.
I wish I knew what it sings,
I wish I knew where it goes,
I wish I knew what it sings, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew where it goes, (I wish I knew)
I wish I knew what it sings. (I wish I knew)
(I wish I knew)
(I wish I knew) (yeah!)
(I wish I knew)
(I wish I knew)

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Three

Nicolette
3s my lucky number
And fortune comes in 3s
But I wish I knew that number
That even little children seem to see
Oh, Im missing everything I knew
Its just so hard to be a ? ?
Oh, Im missing all the things I knew
Yet wish I knew nothing at all
I wish I knew nothing at all
Soon Ill have the courage
To leave my thoughts behind
Ill give back all the knowledge
And keep the wisdom precious in my mind
Oh, Im missing all the things I knew
I miss them yet I want them gone
Yes, Im missing all the things I knew
Yet wish I knew nothing at all
I wish I knew nothing at all
I wish I knew nothing at all

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