I Can't Find Anything Left To Kill
It is always a startling surprise
When the first fragile rays
Of another sunrise
Peak through the window blinds
And I’m still alive.
I’ve spun so many meditations of suicide
Through my tormented mind
That I feel like a weaver
Of mortuary fantasies.
From my early teens,
I’ve been plagued
With death and poetry dreams.
I thought it would be over
When I reached thirty-three,
I thought it would be achieved,
My self-destruction at the age
Of Christ crucified.
But thirty-three came and went
And I failed to find my desired demise;
Now, at forty-one I’ve become
A hollow man, a foggy ghost
Gradually burning off in the sunlight
That shines for another
And not for me…
Anymore, I walk around half-dazed
And I can’t find anything left to kill.
poem by Uriah Hamilton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Can't Cry These Tears
I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the rope
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
Can't find it in the bible
Can't find it on t.v.
Can't find it in diamonds
There's something inside me that just won't allow me to
Find it in music
Can't find it in my soul
Can't find it in chocolate
Oh babe I can't hide it I can't even find it in you
I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the rope
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
There's no way she can kiss you the way that I do
I heard that you miss me
Oh you should be careful of whom you've been talking to
Long nights without you have taught me to be strong
I've cut all of my losses
Think no more about it because I couldn't find it in you
I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the rope
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
There was a time I thought I'd die
If you should ever leave me high and dry
And you don't want me anymore
It's time to settle the score
I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my tether
I've torn all the letters up
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my rope and it's time that I told you so
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
It's time to settle the score
song performed by by Garbage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Mrs. Thrale on Her Completing Her Thirty-fifth Year
Oft in danger, yet alive,
We are come to thirty-five;
Long may better years arrive,
Better years than thirty-five.
Could philosophers contrive
Life to stop at thirty-five,
Time his hours should never drive
O'er the bounds of thirty-five
High to soar, and deep to dive,
Nature gives at thirty-five.
Ladies, stop and tend your hive,
Trifle not at thirty-five;
For, howe'er we boast and strive,
Life declines from thirty-five:
He that ever hopes to thrive
Must begin by thirty-five:
And all who wisely wish to wive
Must look on Thrale at thirty-five.
poem by Samuel Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cant Cry These Tears
I just dont care anymore
Ive reached the end of the road
I just dont care anymore
Wont cry these tears anymore
Cant find it in the bible
Cant find it on tv
Cant find it in diamonds
Theres something inside me that just wont allow me to
Find it in music
Cant find it in my soul
Cant find it in chocolate
Oh babe I cant hide it
I cant even find it in you
Theres no way she can kiss you
The way that I do
I heard that you miss me
Oh you should be careful of who you keep talking to
Long nights without you have taught me to be strong
Ive cut all my losses
Think no more about it cause I couldnt find it in you
There was a time I thought Id die
If you should ever leave me high and dry
Now you dont want me any more
Its time to settle the score
I just dont care anymore
Ive reached the end of my tether
Ive torn all your letters up
I just dont care anymore
Wont cry these tears anymore
I just dont care anymore
Ive reached the end of my rope
And its time that I told you so
I just dont care anymore
Wont cry these tears anymore
song performed by by Garbage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Flame
I find myself remembering things I thought I'd forgot
I thought I'd gotten over you but I can see I've not
And seeing you has made me realize how wrong I've been
And the torch I've carried for so long is burning bright again
The flame is burning bright again it just took my seeing you to know
That the flame had not burned out it just had flickered low
Yes I still love you just as much as I ever did before
The flame is burning bright again and I can't fight it anymore
Could it be your seeing me has set your heart on fire
Could it be old memories has filled you with desire
Oh if after all this time you find that you still feel the same
Then come and take my hand and walk with me into the flame
The flame is burning bright again...
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To praise it would amount to praising myself. For the entire content of the work... coincides almost exactly with my own meditations which have occupied my mind for the past thirty or thirty-five years.
quote by Carl Friedrich Gauss
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A monologue on 'nothing in particular
Well you know,
It always begins like this
'The day starts'
Half an hour early for me
Clocks set hour an hour early
The day begins
Well morning starts
With a break of sunlight
Flooding through the cracks
In the blinds
In summer it is always much earlier
Than the pre set time on the alarm clock
Which is primed to go off
Half an hour earlier
Inevitably
The light wakes me at sunrise
Which often occurs around five o'clock
Like some cruel trick
I am woken exactly an hour or is it half an hour
Before my alarm clock goes off, half an hour earlier?
Which is set to go off half an hour early
But that never happens in the summer
The lie in ends up a sleep over
In winter this is a different matter again
With no light
So there I am at five in the morning
exactly or, approximately the time
The sun is meant to set
[bar a second or to or maybe a minute
behind or ahead of prediction]
There I am WIDE AWAKE
No lie in
No chance of sleeping
Again
Exept at the WRONG TIME!
Then I recover
Five minutes behind schedule
pull the blind
make a cup of tea
giving myself exactly
thirty minutes
Before drinking it
to get ready for work
Flossing does not happen until
A much later time
There is a ten minute interval
For toast and tea
And tidying away
My watch is set five minutes ahead
Or maybe three minutes
I leave on time
In time for the bus that leaves
Two minutes early
The next one arrives ten minutes late
The driver
Has donated his brain to medical science
Thirty years prior to his death
Give or take a couple of hours or minutes
He slips into a slow coma behind the steering wheel
The world is in slow motion
Catatonia eclipses the traffic
I am now on time
To be late
despite all my carefully timed efforts
Now that was just the beginning of the morning
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
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Shaved
He had wore a beard every since his early teens.
It had been at least thirty years since anyone saw him without it.
For those thirty years he felt he had something to hide.
But yesterday he shaved and freed himself from the thirty year mask he had been wearing.
He said it feels good to no longer have that itchy heavy beard weighing him down.
Yesterday he shaved when he finally told everyone he is gay.
My Next Thirty Years
(track 12 - time 3:37)
(phil vassar)
I think Ill take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now its time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years Im gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things Ive done
Maybe now Ive conquered all my adolescent fears
And Ill do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years Im gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what Im doing here
In my next thirty years
Oh my next thirty years, Im gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe Ill remember my next thirty years
My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years
song performed by by Tim McGraw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Poppa Don't Mind
Give it a word, give it a try
Why don't you sleep out, stop living high
You're on your own, your making ?bed?
Now time for wasting, just look ahead
Your poopa don't mind what you do or say
You can't surprise him anymore
He's got a reputation and he don't know ?fad?
Your poppa don't mind at all
He's getting old, he's getting late
It's soon tomorrow, so celebrate
Bring it out, and go to town
Before you're thinking/faking, ?sell him now?
Your poopa don't mind what you do or say
You can't surprise him anymore
He don't believe in heaven like a good man should
Your poppa don't mind at all
Find him out, he's half a fun
When you find out, don't try to run
If you know, then you'll be gone
And if you don't know, it's still to come
Your poopa don't mind what you do or say
You can't surprise him anymore
He talked about his women and his old school ?tie?
Your poppa don't mind at all
You can't surprise him anymore
He don't believe in heaven like a good man should
Your poppa don't mind at all
Your poppa don't mind at all
Your poppa don't mind at all
song performed by by Supertramp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thirty three years
Thirty three years
~
Soon I turn thirty three
And wonder what I have to show
I feel I have achieved very little
And have been going nowhere fast
I fear I am stuck in my ways
And this is my lot for life
I sit alone in writing this morning
With my usual coffee for one
I have loved, had my heart broken
Let opportunities slip away
Now I tend to do nothing
At least I wont feel hurt that way
I have spent time in solitary
And lost touch with the world
Please try and remember that
To excuse my lack of social grace
The pace of each year is picking up
While I am still young in some eyes
Still may yet have a lot to achieve
I look at the past thirty two years
And see myself an old man
Lonely and turning thirty three
poem by Matthew Holloway
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Suicide and Pain
To you I'm a servant but more like your slave
I think about this and know I need to be saved
All you do is yell and complain
If I left this world, you'd be able to tell
Because there'd be no one else to hear you yell
I you said tha I thought life was just a game
Yea, maybe, a game involving this suicide and so much pain
Everyone hates me. No one gives a damn
They just walk on me, like a small grain of sand
You say you love me and always will
But tell me, is that how you really feel?
Suicide and pain, I think of it alot
I sit at home alone, and my dreams start to rot
First you told me to do my best..
But then you said 'I hope you fail that end of the year test'
You told me you hoped I failed 7th grade
I think about that and add it into my thoughts of suicide and pain
poem by Kirstyn Hansen
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Take Suicide off the Table
Take Suicide Off the Table
When life is dark and dreary,
and pain is deep within your soul;
thoughts of death and destruction emerge
and depression takes its toll.
Solutions may be hard to find,
and optimism seems too cavalier;
find a space between your thoughts
before spiraling down in fear.
Take suicide off the table;
it's not an option for your pain.
Open your mind to possibilities
there is so much to gain.
Suicide is not painless,
those who are left behind will say,
Suicide is severely painful,
and it never goes away;
it never goes away.
David Michael Barnett
poem by David Michael Barnett
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The Chronicles of Nostalgia Part 3 Fraility of the Mind
Fragile in nature, for some torn by angst
of thought that I have known taints
Many... many also never show collapse
Of their mind as it slips away
Now how fey
Just my memories and thoughts kill
Me, they're the ones which fill
My heart and mind and cause it all to spill
on the ground yet to you...
I seem like you too
And alive, ... although I might say
We are alike in that we are waling zombies
For our minds are frail and therefor I find
It hard to belvie you have an intact mind
poem by David Knox
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Bit in the middle
I work forty miles from home,
so I drive eighty miles a day.
I quite enjoy the journey
it give me time to pray.
I rise at six thirty each moning
so I can get an early start.
I leave work at five thirty,
in the winter I just drive in the dark.
I don't mind all the driving,
in fact it gives me a rest.
It's just the work in the middle
thats the bit that I detest.
poem by Maurice Diplock
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Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
quote by Ellen DeGeneres
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shimshon
To have thirty sons and thirty daughters from your many wives,
Like the customs of a bride;
To have forty sons and thirty grandsons in your life,
Like the customs of a bridegroom;
But, out of love came something so sweet.
Yo are barren but now you will conceive and bear a son,
Like the dreadlocks of Shimshon!
But my best friend had taken my wife away.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Stripping to the Bones
Now me, now not,
a thought is always there.
My genes navigate on collapsing walls,
words, dark mind, broken dreams.
But thought is always there.
I hold on firmly to sounds,
voices, tongues,
the thought is always there.
Brain goes into a nameless friction,
of aimless voyage
I rediscover the myth and abandon the zone of thoughts.
Distance becomes a wailing music.
Sitting between the flesh and bones
I recognise the relic of a window.
Let us dropp the years,
become timeless, empty and hollow.
Egocentric wind violates the lungs.
We cannot sing in praise of earth.
I walk through the body,
stripping to the bones, to find the seeds.
I refuse to pluck the flowers.
poem by Satish Verma
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At Thirty-Five
Three score and ten, the psalmist saith,
And half my course is well-nigh run;
I've had my flout at dusty death,
I've had my whack of feast and fun.
I've mocked at those who prate and preach;
I've laughed with any man alive;
But now with sobered heart I reach
The Great Divide of Thirty-five.
And looking back I must confess
I've little cause to feel elate.
I've played the mummer more or less;
I fumbled fortune, flouted fate.
I've vastly dreamed and little done;
I've idly watched my brothers strive:
Oh, I have loitered in the sun
By primrose paths to Thirty-five!
And those who matched me in the race,
Well, some are out and trampled down;
The others jog with sober pace;
Yet one wins delicate renown.
O midnight feast and famished dawn!
O gay, hard life, with hope alive!
O golden youth, forever gone,
How sweet you seem at Thirty-five!
Each of our lives is just a book
As absolute as Holy Writ;
We humbly read, and may not look
Ahead, nor change one word of it.
And here are joys and here are pains;
And here we fail and here we thrive;
O wondrous volume! what remains
When we reach chapter Thirty-five?
The very best, I dare to hope,
Ere Fate writes Finis to the tome;
A wiser head, a wider scope,
And for the gipsy heart, a home;
A songful home, with loved ones near,
With joy, with sunshine all alive:
Watch me grow younger every year --
Old Age! thy name is Thirty-five!
poem by Robert William Service
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I have these visions of myself being thirty, thirty-five, forty having a family.
quote by Nastassja Kinski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Success For Jon london
Deep down below your conscious mind
another different world exists
Where it is possible to find
discarded dreams you left behind.
Because you chose to chase success.
You put your cherished dreams on hold,
your only thought to make progress
Towards your goal of more not less.
The happiness you hoped to find
In truth was just another dream
You fell for lies which were designed
to cloud your clarity of mind.
They succeeded obviously.
You were seduced by greed into
a frame of mind which enviously
Demanded that you try to be.
The only winner in the race.
The man inspiring jealousy,
the leading man who set the pace.
Your one desire to hold your place.
Until the day you realise
Riches can not buy happiness
A thought which takes you by surprise
There is no room for compromise.
Success cannot be measured by
how much you earn and what you own
Such trappings cannot satisfy
the early dreams you let slip by.
The dreams you might have made come true
Ambitions that you left behind
are waiting still to welcome you.
Success is finding peace of mind.
So you resign from the rat race
There is no reason to compete
You do not need to hold first place
A simpler way of life is sweet.
You can rescue discarded dreams
and try your best to make them true.
Those youthful madcap crazy schemes
that you dreamt up belong to you.
You’ve wasted years amassing wealth.
Which never brought you happiness
Paid scant regard to your own health
when nothing mattered but success.
Although success can be defined
In different ways by different men.
For me success is peace of mind
Which I was glad to find again.
1-Mar-09
http: // blog.myspace.co./poeticpiers
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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