But She Knew

But I know
she said

that you love me
and you were sitting

by the pond
you with that cheap fishing rod

which caught nothing
and she sitting there

her hands over her knees
gazing at the still surface

even if you don’t
say it often

she added
laying her chin

on her knees
her green skirt

just above her knees
and you caught

a glimpse of her thighs
where the skirt rose up

I do you love
you said

holding the rod
between hands

it’s just I don’t see the need
to keep on saying it

you added
stretching your eyes

to go as far
as they could

to get a better look
and she said

why do you come here
to fish when you catch

nothing except a cold
in the neck

and stiff joints
and do you want a smoke?

She pulled out
a pack of cigarettes

and you let a hand free
from the rod

and took one
and she put one

between her lips
and lit it with a pink

plastic lighter
then lit yours

and you both
inhaled and exhaled

the smoke rising
over the pond

seeming to sit there
in the still air

and she said
between drags

I do know you love me
I can feel it

in my bones
and in my tingling

flesh at night
as I lay abed

and you thought
of that image

knowing her mother
would be about

the house
with her stern features

and sharp tongue
and beady eyes

but the image was good
you thought

sitting there beside her
in silence

with the drifting smoke
over the pond

and her hand
touching you

and the sky
turning from

dull grey
to a soft blue.

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Not For Me

Not for me she said
I don’t want to end up
like my mother
I want to reach out

and touch real life
and not end up
some man’s wife
and be endlessly

at his beck and call
and she sat
by the pond
looking over

to the other side
where the woods were dense
and reached out
and touched your hand

and you wondered
if there were still fish
in the pond
and if when

you brought your rod
the following day
you’d catch any
and you liked the way

the sunlight caught
the pond’s skin
and she said
I want to feel

being alive
feel the electric of life
run through my veins
and she leaned over

and kissed you
and placed her hand
between your thighs
and touched the hardness

of your crotch
and you said
do you know how big
the fish was

that got away
when I fished here last?

And she said
no but I know how big
the one I’ve caught is
and laughed

and released her hand
and gave you one
of her stares with her
large passionate eyes

and you noticed
a lone big bird in black
moving across
the bright blue skies.

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What Was Once

She would often stare at you
sitting by the pond
the summer sunlight

playing there
on the waters' skin
the holidays

having just begun
and she'd say
you do love me don't you?

and you'd look away
from the sunlight's dance
and reply

of course I do
and you'd see that look
in her eyes

like worlds
being born
and she'd say

Mother wouldn't want
me here alone with you
and you looking back

at the pond's water
would say
why is that?

what have I done
to cause her alarm?
Birds flew across

the pond
their cries breaking
the silence of the summer day

she moved her hand
and touched your hand
resting on the dry earth

because she's jealous of me
being loved I suppose
or maybe she thinks

we do things while alone
you look back at her
the way she sat

the skirt lifted
along her thigh
her hand squeezing yours

that summer
that love
the fresh life

of loving
the being
out of doors.

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By The Pond In Shade

She sat down with you
by the pond
the summer heat

and dragonflies
skimming across
the water's skin

and the odd duck or so
setting down there
and she said

I want to have kids one day
and be a good mother
and make my kids happy

and meet their needs
and not be a moaning mum
like my own

and you looked at her
taking your eyes off
the ducks and dragonflies

and letting them rest
upon her face
and wondered how Rubens

would catch her
or maybe Renoir
and you said

I'm sure you will some day
and they'll be lucky kids
and maybe you won't moan

or chide too much
and then silence
as you swam over

her features
her eyes
her nose

her rose kissed cheeks
the way she sat
her elbows on her knees

the summer skirt
showing a little thigh
and she said

pointing to the water
we used to swim in there
when we were young

before mother caught us
with that Barber boy
but it was fun

and innocent
but she never saw things
that way

and then she smiled at you
and you said
wish we could go swim there

like that today
while the sun's out
and the dragonflies

are skimming
and the ducks are here
but she just shook her head

and laughed
and ducks flew off
but dragonflies stayed

where you sat with her
by the pond
in cool of shade.

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Judith and You and A Morning Mist

The morning mist
that hung over

the pond (or your lake
as Judith called it)

had moved away
by the time she came

and stood next to you
wrapped up in her

Sunday best
waiting until the time

for the bus to take
you both to sing

in the church
her breath flowing out

on the air
like cigarette smoke

her eyes focused
on the skin

of the still water
I dreamt of you

last night
she said

you and I
were snuggled

together in my bed
having made love

you watched
a magpie take flight

over the water
nice

wish I could
have been there

in person
you said

more breath
left her lips

and rose upwards
maybe next time

you can
she said

turning her head
spreading her lips

into a smile
just be my luck

your mother
will invade the dream

and catch us
you said

yes
Judith said

that would
spoil the dream

some what
there was a mist

over the pond earlier
you said

it looked beautiful
she turned

and stared
over the water

I missed that
as you missed

making love to me
in my dream

she whispered
drawing closer

her hands
taking hold

of yours
what did you

dream about?
she asked

an empty bed
and cold sheets

and a space
where you should

have been
you said

she smiled
and said

I couldn't be
in both beds

at once could I?
once more

there was the rising
of her breath

you couldn't tell her
you'd seen

an image
of her death.

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Don't Know When

Don’t know when
she said

but as she spoke
her breath rose

like cigarette smoke
in the morning air

and it fascinated you
more than the words

like when your father
blew smoke rings for you

as some kind
of cheap entertainment

but
she said

it will happen
I promise you

and your lack
of response

still gazing
at her breath rising

made her repeat
don’t know when though

and jabbed
at your chest

with her finger
oh ok

you said
coming back

to the moment
her blue eyes

fixed on you
the depth of them

like pools
of blue water

and oh how
to drown there

the thought arose
wanting the when

to be
as soon as

and the image
of her back then

with her eyes
and smile

and that way
she had

of bringing life
to a dull day

like some
top notch dancer

not knowing then
of her death

years later
of cold creeping cancer.

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Smoke Two Joints

(she was living in a single room with three other individuals.
One of them was a male and the other two, well, the other two were females.
God only know what they were up to in there.
And furthermore susan, I wouldnt be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them
Habitually smoke marijuana cigarettes... reefers)
I smoke two joints in the morning.
I smoke two joints at night.
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints,
And then I smoke two more
Smoked cigarettes til the day she died
Toke a big spliff of some good sensimillia
Smoked cigarettes til the day she died
Toke a big spliff of some good sensamill...
Easy-e were ya ever caught slippin? hell no!
Daddy he once told me son you be hard workin man
And momma she once told me son you do the best you can
But, then one day I met a man who came to me and said
Hard work good, and hard work fine but first take care of head
(guitar solo)
Whoa, rock me tonight,
Whoa-oh, jah sake,
Whoa-ohh

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Julie and You and Christ

Julie was walking
down Oxford Street
with you

one of her hands
was in yours
the other was holding

a cigarette which she put
to her lips and drew on
and exhaled the smoke

and said
pushing smoke
into the world

do you think Christ
ever came?
of course

you replied
the whole calendar
of the Western world

is spilt before and after
his coming
she inhaled deeply

and stopped to peer
in a shop window
don't like that dress

it's too darn middle class
too safe
you looked at the dress

in the window
at the colours and style
would your mother where it?

you asked
she'd wear it
but I wouldn't

be seen dead in it
she said
moving you on

squeezing your hand
reminding you
of the quick grope

and sex in the small cupboard
off the ward
where she was staying

while trying to kick
the drug habit
she spread out

amongst brooms and boxes
and you there gazing at her
wondering if some domestic

would find you there
well? do you think
Christ really came?

she asked
yes
you said

he split history in two
he made people
either love him

or hate him
and want to destroy him
and what he stood for

she laughed and said
you certainly got him
under your skin

I don't think he came at all
she said
before inhaling

her cigarette smoke
I think it was all
a big joke played out

on the Jews
to get them riled
she inhaled

her cigarette smoke
and was silent
as you walked on

down the Street
it was no joke
being crucified

no joke hanging there
on that cross
you said

she pulled you
into a shop doorway
and kissed you

and said
oh forget about him
and his crucifixion

I've had enough
of the parents
ramming him

into my brain
over the years
and she kissed you again

and you looked
into her dark eyes
where you thought

many a dream comes
and drowns
and dies.

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Flippity Floppity Plop

am sitting by the side of a pond,
the fresh morning crisp,
full of new born oxygen,
waiting to meet my lungs

am sitting watching still waters,
the liquid surface glassy,
thin like gossamer,
unbroken by bulbous eyed frogs

am sitting inhaling the silken fog,
the moist sweetness enlivening
wispy blanket around,
wrapping me in my thoughts

am sitting listening to birds,
deep distant sounds,
some quarreling, others singing,
my eardrums playing along

am sitting giving nature company,
lilies quietly rubbing their eyes
lazy morning stretching her arms,
sunlight plucking his guitar

am sitting by the side of awe,
when a cheery little fish
breaks through the surface
and flips me a good morning plop

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Beach Chairs

Sitting on the beach chairs
watching the setting sun
holding hands and reminiscing
how it all begun

Sitting on the beach chairs
watching the ships out on the sea
holding hands and smiling
together we're meant to be

Sitting on the beach chairs
watching people walking past
holding hands and knowing
that our love will always last

Sitting on the beach chairs
watching the waves along the shore
holding hands we realize
our love is stronger than before

Sitting on the beach chairs
watching the changing tide
holding hands with happiness
to be by each others side

Sitting on the beach chairs
watching the sunrise
holding hands with tears of joy
there are no more good-byes

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Her Sexuality

Even her mother
never knew

how much
sexuality boiled

beneath the surface
how much

she thought of it
when sitting down

in some cafe
watching men

at some nearby table
fantasizing

about them
dreaming about

what they might do
if she allowed

or while sitting
at the office typing

her mind on things
which’d make

her mother blush
the mighty rush

of images
and desires

and old Mr Fleet
talking to her

about some work
not knowing that fires

burned beneath
her flesh and skirt

that she made love
to herself

while in bed
while others slept

and even Kennedy
the office ram

would have choked
on things she did

in dreams or wrote
in her locked up diary

and once
when some girlfriend

of her brother’s
stayed the night

and shared her room
and bed

she fantasised
of touching

and turning over
and kissing

all in the mind
she told herself

just one of those things
and even later

when she finally married
and lay beside him

at night having
sucked him dry

she’d stared
out the window

at the silver moon
in the dark sky.

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Hey, Hey

Oho, baby, I'm in love again,
I love the way you baby talk,
Oho, baby, I'm in love again,
I love the way you babe walk that walk
You're driving me out of my mind,
I'm losing my self-control.
Hey, hey, I'm in love again,
Falling down on my knees,
I never thought I'd ever feel this way again.
I was walking out late last night, Hanging out in Central Park,
Saw a man coming up with a light in his eyes, Shinning out in the dark,
He said, hey where you going, you know, I said it ain't no business of yours because, Hey, hey, I'm in love again, Falling down on my knees,
I never thought I'd ever feel this way again.
Look out baby.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, I'm in love again, Falling down on my knees,
I never thought I'd ever feel this way again.
Hey, hey, I'm in love again, I'm falling down on my knees,
I never thought I'd ever feel this way again.
Hey, hey, I'm in love; I'm in love, Falling down on my knees,
I never ever thought I'd feel, this way, This way, again.
Yeah, yeah, I'm in love, in love, With a beautiful girl.

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Caught Up In You

I never knew there'd come a day
When I'd be sayin' to you
"Don't let this good love slip away
Now that we know that it's true."
Don't, don't you know the kind of man I am
No, said I'd never fall in love again
But it's real and the feeling comes shining through.
So caught up in you, little girl
And I never did suspect a thing
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true
You're the one
Who caught me baby you taught me
How good it could be
It took so long to change my mind
I thought that love was a game
I played around enough to find
No two are ever the same
You made me realized the love I missed
So hot! Love I couldn't quite resist
When it's right the light just comes shining through.
So caught up in you, little girl
You're the one that's got me down on my knees
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true
You're the one
Who caught me, baby you taught me
How good it could be
Fill your days and your nights
No need to ever ask me twice oh no
Whenever you want me
And if ever comes a day
When you should turn and walk away oh no
I can't live without you
So caught up in you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And if ever comes a day
When you should turn and walk away oh no
I can't live without you
So caught up in you, little girl
You're the one that's got me down on my knees
So caught up in you , little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true
You're the one
Who caught me baby you taught me
How good it could be, little girl
You're the one that's got me down on my knees
So caught up in you, little girl
That I never want to get myself free
And baby it's true
You're the one
Who caught me and taught me
You got me so caught up in you

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Old Mrs Truber

Always be yourself, Mrs Truber said,
Don’t be what you’re not. You sat
And studied her as she sat opposite
Stirring her cup of tea, took in her
Greying hair, her lined features, the
Way her bony fingers held the spoon
That stirred. People try to be like others
And find themselves out of their depth
And drown in the waters of lies and deceit,
She added, bringing her light blue eyes
On you. You began to speak, but the words
Were stuck in your throat. She smiled and
Tapped your hand. We are what we are,
She said, but often we are tempted to become
Actors wearing a different mask, trying to
Be a different person. You nodded slowly
And thought how beautiful she must have
Been once. Her eyes sparkled as she spoke,
And as she brushed her hand through her grey
Hair, you thought you caught a glimpse of her
Youthful self peering out of eyes like a child
Staring from windows in a locked up room.
You sipped your tea and watched as she brought
Her hands together as if in prayer. You closed
Your eyes, but when you opened them again,
The room was empty and she wasn’t there.

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Makemkov's Muse.

Makemkov had a sudden
Thought while sitting on his bed,
Having a smoke, gazing out
Of the window at the new

Apartments across the way,
Where some young dame was slipping
Into something light and cool,
Unknowing that he gazed like this

On other days, the thought he
Had disturbed the sexy sight,
The image becoming blurred
Into another lustful

Smudge, he was going to be
Dead one day, the thought revealed,
Unclean or not so, he did
Not know, but die he would, he

Neither grand nor good, his death
Would come as all deaths came, each
With its owner's borrowed name.

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Martha' Crucified.

Martha had this thing
about the Crucified.
The image, the cross,
the stretched out arms.

The one in the convent
school along by the chapel
always caught her eye.
Stood there staring.

Get a move on Martha,
the nun said. Don't gape so.
Or the image in the dining
room stuck up on the wall

above the abbess's table.
Painted on she thought.
Not the same. Her mother
had the one her mother

gave her on her deathbed.
Old wood and plaster.
The plaster peeling from
the hands of the Crucified.

Martha gaped at Him,
at His wounds, at the wound
in His side where the spear
went in. Forgive them for

they know not. They did so,
the bastards, she muttered,
putting her fingers on the wound
in the side. She had an ebony

rosary in her skirt pocket. Black
Christ on the small ebony cross.
She fingered in her pocket, said
the prayers, felt the stiff body

on the cross. Sometimes she
took it out and kissed it; the ebony
body, the head, the arms. Once
she had a cross around her neck,

silver, small, given by some old
codger. She felt it warm between
her small breasts. Lost it when she
took it off to wash and it slipped

down the plughole in the convent bog.
She knew her mother had this wooden
crucifix on her chest of drawers.
A dark wood, a fleshy plastered Christ,

nails through and hands and feet.
She kissed the hands when her mother
was out, her lips touching the smooth
plaster, the eyes closed, the feel of

smoothness on flesh. Not the real
Christ of course. Least not yet.
She'd wait her turn. The real thing.
See what death and Heaven bring.

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In Mrs Clarke's Wake

Mrs Clarke pushed
her battered bassinet
between market stalls

not listening
to the stallholder's
shouts and calls

Helen walked behind her mother
as told holding your hand
So I know where you are

Mrs Clarke had said
you sensed
Helen's small hand

in yours
her seven year old skin
touching your

seven year old flesh
her thin fingers
encircling yours

We'll see if they've got
a school skirt
for you here

her mother said
turning back her head
Helen nodded

and you noticed
Helen's enlarged eyes
behind her thick lens

spectacles
searching her mother's
large behind waddling on

stopping now and then
beside stalls
picking up clothes

searching for a skirt or dress
grey and the right size
Helen whispered to you

putting her head
close to yours
Rice pudding for tea

when we get home
with red jam
and sugar too

if you want
and she smiled
and you said shyly

That's good
because I'm starving
she looked at your hand

in hers and said
Then we can play
mums and dads

and my dolls
can be our family
her mother stopped

and picked up a skirt
and held it up
to the light

then held it against
her daughter's waist
judging for size

and you watched
her mother's hands
red with washing

and cleaning
thinking and gauging
the size and cost

as you studying
Helen's hand in yours
like a soul lost.

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Through Paris 1970

As you rode through Paris
in the packed coach

the radio played
Beethoven's Piano Concerto #5

and Mamie
sat beside you

her head to one side
sleeping

her mouth open
like some fish

out of water
her hands tucked

between her thighs
her blue skirt

riding high
and the slow movement

of the Beethoven piece
began

the piano playing softy
as the bright lights

of Paris
lit up

the dull space
inside the coach

and you closed your eyes
laying a hand

surreptiously
over hers

hearing the piano
and orchestra

as if in a dream
and Mamie

never minded
your hand

on hers
or so you thought then

and as now
it would seem.

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Branded By Hot Lips

Christina sat crossed legged
on the grass of the school playing field

her friends got up and left
as you arrived after school lunch

where's your friend Rolland?
she asked

gone off with Woolgar
to play football

you replied
she patted the grass

beside her
why don't you sit down?

she said
so you sat down beside her

looking at her dark brown hair
brushed so so

and her green summer dress
just covering her knees

the black shoes
and white ankle socks

completing the picture
as if your eyes

had mentally painted her
for later reference

she leaned forward
and kissed your forehead

a damp patched
the size of her lips

remained there
she said

something to remind you
of me afterwards

while you're sitting
in class doing boring history

or geography or whatever
thanks

you said
actually it's maths

which is even more boring
so the kiss memento

will come in handy
she laughed and looked away

you spotted Rolland
over the way

standing in a goal
between two coats

Cedric can see us out here
she said

breaking the brief silence
why does it matter

if your brother can see us?
Will he tell your parents?

she shrugged her shoulders
don't suspect so

she said
you gazed at her lips

as she spoke
and her hands on her knees

just laying there
palms down

he does watch us though
she said

maybe he's jealous
maybe he wants to sit here with me

you said
she laughed

don't be silly
she said

and you moved
towards her

and kissed her lips
and she pulled you

nearer to her
with one of her hands

behind your neck
and you smelt

lavender water
and her hair brushed

against your cheek
and when your lips

left hers
they felt branded

as if hot coals
had been there

and she said
that was wonderful

and over her shoulder
across the way

Rolland had let in
a goal as his stretched

out hand
missed the ball.

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Going Down On Love

Got to get down, down on my knees
Got to get down, down on my knees
Going down on love
Going down on love
Going down, going down, going down
When the real thing goes wrong
And you cant get it on
And your love she has gone
And you got to carry on
And you shoot out the light
Aint coming home for the night
You know you got to, got to, got to pay the price
Somebody please, please help me
You know Im drowning in the sea of hatred
Got to get down, down on my knees
Got to get down, down on my knees
Going down on love
Going down on love
Going down, going down, going down
Something precious and rare
Disappears in thin air
And it seems so unfair
Nothing doin nowhere
Well you burn all your boats
And you sow your wild oats
Well you know, you know, you know the price is right!
Got to get down, down on my knees
Got to get down, down on my knees
Got to get down, down on my knees
Got to get down, down on my knees

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Will One Day Go.

Sorry about
your granddad's death
Judith said
as you stood

beside her
by the pond
at the back
of the house

in the woods
the autumn sun
lighting up patches
of the water's skin

it was sudden
you said
my uncle told me
she took

your hand
in hers
and squeezed
her soft skin

on yours
her thumb
rubbing
the back

of your hand
best remember him
as he was
she said

living and smiling
not some place
lying dead
you nodded

trying
to conjure up
when you'd
seen him last

sitting in
the back garden
of his house
months earlier

talking
of his flowers
he'd grown
from seed

his white hair
moved slightly
by the breeze
he liked my new suit

you said
thought it looked smart
she kissed your cheek
and said

hold on
to things
like that
your memories

place them
in a drawer
inside your head
a jackdaw flew

across the skin
of the pond
the black and white
of wings and tail

reflected
in the water
below
what comes

from God
she whispered
whether
nature's beauty

or ones
we love
will one day
sadly go.

poem by Terry CollettReport problemRelated quotes
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