The Great Conch Train Robbery
'Twas sunset down in old Key West
The locals all were high.
The tourists snapped their photographs
And munched their Key Lime pie.
And meanwhile down at Sloppy Joe's
The drinks were standin' tall
With Buffett on the jukebox
And Hemingway on the wall.
Then up spoke Sam the Shrimper:
He said, 'I've been a shrimper all my life.
My daddy was a shrimper
And my mom's a shrimper's wife.
And I'm tired of bein' a shrimper
Cuz a shrimper's life's too tame
So I'm gonna ride the Conch Train, boys,
And be like Jesse James.
Gonna be like Jesse James, boy...
Gonna be like Jesse James.
Case you didn't hear me the first three times...
Gonna be like Jesse James.'
Now the Conch Train is a tourist toy
That rolls through Key West Town
Like some weird ride from Disneyland
It drives the tourists round and round
While the engineer on her P.A.
Points out all the sites
'Well, Tennessee did you-know-what
To you-know-who that night.'
'The tourists all have money', said Sam
'Their wives all have rings of gold.
Their mopeds all are pawnable.
Their cameras can be sold.
And think of all the glory, boys,
The money and the fame
To be the first and only man
To rob the Key West Train.'
Now the engineer of the Conch Train
Her name was Betsy Wright.
She drove the Conch Train all day long
And loved Shrimper Sam all night.
And with some sweet persuasion,
She agreed to join the game:
She'd slow it down and flag the lad
And let him ride the train.
The conch train made its turn
Down the Smathers Pitch
When Shrimper Sam with a snorkle eye
Leaped naked from the sea.
His fillet knife was in his hand.
He jumped aboard the train.
'Give up your bucks, you tourist schmucks.
I'm Key West Jesse James.
I'm Key West Jesse James, boy...
Key West Jesse James...
Case you didn't hear me the first three times...
I'm Key West Jesse James.'
Now unbeknownst to Shrimper Sam
In the third car from the rear,
Sat Kelso Bolls from Muscle Shoals,
An American Legioneer.
He was a redneck of respect
And a marksman of reknown.
From under his fat
He drew a Gat,
And shot the shrimper down.
Now the first time that he shot poor Sam,
Sam groaned and clutched his side.
The second time that he shot poor Sam,
Sam fell to his knees and cried.
And the third time that he shot poor Sam,
You could see in both their eyes
Lash LaRue and Randolph Scott
Beneath the Western skies.
We laid poor Sam upon the sand
And we lifted up his head.
We listened close to hear the words
The dying shrimper said.
He said, 'Boys, you know I had my chance
But I went and botched the job,
But how can a boy named Jesse James
Without a train to rob?'
Then Kelso Bolls took off his hat
And the tears streamed down his face.
He said, 'Son, I know just how you feel.
This world's a changin' place'.
When history is written,
Uh... they won't recall our names,
But I only got to play Pat Garrett
Cuz you played Jesse James.
We buried Sam in the southernmost sands
Close by the southernmost waves
Where sweet Betsy Wright
Cries tears every night
Onto his southernmost grave.
And on his tombstone say the words
'Stick to your own game.
And if you are a shrimper,
Do not try to rob a train.'
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein

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Related quotes
Jesse James
Jesse James was a lad who killed many a man.
He robbed the Glendale train.
He stole from the rich and he gave to the poor,
He’d a hand and a heart and a brain.
Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave,
But that dirty little coward that shot Mister Howard,
Has laid Jesse James in his grave.
It was Robert Ford, that dirty little coward,
I wonder how he does feel,
For he ate of Jesse’s bread and he slept in Jesse’s bed,
Then he laid Jesse James in his grave.
Jesse was a man, a friend to the poor,
He’d never see a man suffer pain,
And with his brother Frank he robbed the Chicago bank,
And stopped the Glendale train.
It was on a Wednesday night, the moon was shining bright,
He stopped the Glendale train,
And the people all did say for many miles away,
It was robbed by Frank and Jesse James.
It was on a Saturday night, Jesse was at home,
Talking to his family brave,
Robert Ford came along like a thief in the night,
And laid Jesse James in his grave.
The people held their breath when they heard of Jesse’s death,
And wondered how he ever came to die,
It was one of the gang called little Robert Ford,
That shot Jesse James on the sly.
Jesse went to his rest with his hand on his breast,
The devil will be upon his knee,
He was born one day in the county of Clay
And he came from a solitary race.
This song was made by Billy Gashade,
As soon as the news did arrive,
He said there was no man with the law in his hand
Could take Jesse James when alive.
poem by Anonymous Americas

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Song Of The Shrimp
(words & music by bennett - tepper)
I saw three shrimp in the water, two were old and gray
I swam a little bit closer and .. I heard the third one say
Goodbye mama shrimp, papa shake my hand
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
He showed his mama and papa, the shrimp newspaper he read
An invitation to all the shrimp and this is what it said
Free ride, new orleans, stay in grand hotel
Big creole gal who help you come out of your shell
Big creole gal who help you come out of your shell
If I should live to be ninety, I will never forget
The little shrimp and the song he sang as he jumped into the net
Goodbye mama shrimp, papa shake my hand
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
Here come the shrimper for to take me to louisian
song performed by by Elvis Presley

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The Ballad Of Jesse James
Jesse james was a man
And he killed many men
He robbed the glendale train
And he took from the richer
And he gave that to the poorer
Hed a hand and a heart and a brain
Oh jesse had a wife to mourn for his life
Three children they were so brave
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid jesse james in his grave
(instrumental)
On wednesday night
When the moon was shining bright
They robbed that glendale train
And the folks from miles about (yeah they can)
They all said without a doubt
It was done by her frankie and jesse james (yes it was)
Oh jessie had a wife, to mourn for his life
Three children they were so brave
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid (poor) jesse james in his grave
(instrumental)
Well the people held their breath
When they heard about jesses death (yeah)
And they wondered how poor jesse came to die (how did he die? )
It was one of his guys, called little robert ford
And he shot jessie james on the sly
Oh jessie had a wife to mourn for his life
Three children they were so brave
But that dirty little coward
That shot mr. howard
Has laid jesse james in his grave
Has laid poor jesse in his grave
He laid jesse james in his grave
song performed by by Van Morrison

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Jesse James
(neil morris)
I'll tell you about jesse and frank james
My grandfather was personally acquainted with them
My grandfather lived in the southern edge of baxter county, arkansas
And they stayed all night with him lots of nights
And my grandfather told me there was a lot of those robberies that was layed to jesse and frank james
And he knew they didn't do it 'cause they was at his place when it happened
But you couldn't tell the public that
When they get their minds made up that somebody's done something
Why the public's gonna stick to it anyway
My grandfather, he knew them as boys
And they could come to his place and go without anybody paying attention 'cause nobody expected them
Down in arkansas, see, 'cause they was from missouri
Now that's the story that my grandfather told me when i was just a boy
And he said that frank james, at that world's fair,
I think it was 1901 in st. louis him and jesse were both there
My grandfather and frank james were together there
And that frank james offered to bring jesse there alive
He said that the man that the ford boys killed wasn't jesse james at all
But the fellow they killed was just about the size of jesse and he was red headed
And he wasn't any relation to the fords
See, jesse james was a known cousin to charles and bob ford
That's what my grandfather said
He said jesse and frank were not even in that part of the country when that fellow was killed
And the ford boys, why, they collected a thousand dollars for killing jesse james!
Now the song says that the ford boys killed jesse
None of us up here in the mountains believe that, no sir!
song performed by by Ry Cooder

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Jesse James
When Jesse James was a lad
He killed many a man
And he roamed over the Scarsdale range
Robbin' from the rich
And givin' to the poor
He was dark and cold and full of rage
Oh yes he was, sing with me
Poor Jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life
And three children
They were oh so brave
But that dirty little coward
He went and shot Mr. Howard
Laid poor Jesse in his grave yeah
It was on a Saturday night
When Jesse was at home
Talking to old railroad Jed
Along come Robert Ford
Like a theif in the night
And he shot poor Jesse in the back
Poor Jesse had a wife
To mourn for his life
Three children
They were oh so brave
But that dirty little coward
He went and shot Mr. Howard
Laid poor Jesse in his grave yeah
He lays
Six feet under the ground
song performed by by Bob Seger

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Ballad Of Jesse James
Well dont you want to climb a mountain
yeah, dont you want to ride the river
drink from a magic fountain
give your woman all the love that you can give her
well dont you want to be an outlaw
dont you want to ride the range
dont you want to be an outlaw children
just like jesse, like jesse james
well now dont you want to swim the ocean
dont you want to climb the highest tree
drink some of momma's lovin' potion
get your woman till she just cant see
dont you want to be an outlaw
just a poor boy out on the skids
dont you want to be an outlaw children
just like billy, just like billy the kid
well now billy he was a bad boy, he won the wild west
by the year of 21, as many notches on his gun
but someone laid him to an early rest
dont you want to climb a mountain
dont you want to ride the river
drink from a magic fountain
give your woman all the love that you can give her
dont you want to be an outlaw
dont you want to ride the range
dont you want to be an outlaw children
just like jesse
guitar solo
Jesse he was a bad boy, he won the wild west
as many notches on his gun as the years of 21
but someone laid him to an early rest
dont you want to climb a mountain
dont you want to ride the river
drink from a magic fountain
give your woman all the love that you can give her
dont you want to be an outlaw
dont you want to ride the range
dont you want to be an outlaw children
just like jesse, like jesse james
well dont you want to be an outlaw
dont you want to be an outlaw
just like jesse, just like jesse, just like jesse james
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen

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When The Devil Is Finished With You
jesse james was a legend
jesse james was a killer,
jesse james was shot in the back.
There's a time to wrap it up, a time to begin,
But the devil was finished with him.
Bonnie Parker had a pistol
she robbed banks for a living,
she had the law on her trail,
good things can happen, bad things can occur,
But the devil was finished with her.
some believe in God,
some believe in the devil,
some don't believe anything at all.
you got time to work it out, until your time is through,
and the devil is finished with you
poem by Richard Jarboe

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Jesse
Oh jesse, you better start thinkin about saving your neck
Oh jesse, you put on that leather jacket like you put on respect
You got cleats on your boots and a woman who shoots everytime you shuffle out the stage door
And darling jesse, do you know what its all for?
Ah jesse, your manager brought by them eight by ten glossies of your band
Oh jesse, he says you wear cross around your neck and come on with nails in your hands
With your insides showing and your new york band blowin them old chicago blues
Ah jesse, cant you see youre the one jesse
Ah sonny, this time its you
Well jesse, your child is slobbering all over your pants
And jesse, your wife has fallen into a trance
Shes got eyes that tell no lies
Shes seen so many wars
Ah be a good boy jesse, tell her she dont have to look no more.
Well jesse, he knows all the tricks to get the crowd reeling
Oh and jesse, ya he rocks em with that old soul feeling
And he walks off the stage in a self-adoring haze
And gets shoved right out the door
Whoa jesse, cant you see now boy that thats what its all about jesse
Not even time to do that old played out encore
Whoa jesse
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen

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Jesse Dreamed Of Trains (For Jesse Belle)
This song was first released on the all aboard! album. it is the only album it has been released on.
When jesse was a little girl, she only dreamed of trains
She never played with dolls or lacy kinds of things
Jesse counted boxcars instead of counting sheep
She could go anywhere when she went to sleep
Jesse laid a penny on the track one day
In God we trust she walked away
The very next morning all she could find
Was a little piece of copper squashed flatter than a dime
Jesse dreamed of trains
When the nighttime came
Nobody knew how she made it come true
Jesse dreamed of trains
Words and music by vince gill and guy clark
(additional words for jesse by john denver)
song performed by by John Denver

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Jesse Dreamed Of Trains
This song was first released on the all aboard! album. it is the only album it has been released on.
When jesse was a little girl, she only dreamed of trains
She never played with dolls or lacy kinds of things
Jesse counted boxcars instead of counting sheep
She could go anywhere when she went to sleep
Jesse laid a penny on the track one day
In god we trust she walked away
The very next morning all she could find
Was a little piece of copper squashed flatter than a dime
Jesse dreamed of trains
When the nighttime came
Nobody knew how she made it come true
Jesse dreamed of trains
Words and music by vince gill and guy clark
(additional words for jesse by john denver)
song performed by by John Denver

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All Night Train
Transcribed by ed luskey
Last night sorta got so insane,
As I went ridin on the all night train.
Took it down the street and around the block,
Took it downtown baby where the big boys rock.
Roll on, roll on,
Take me where I can ease my pain.
Preacher say boy now where you been?
Getting lead in my pockets,
Putting money in sin.
When the mornin comes not a nickel to my name,
Threw it all away on the all night train.
Ride, let the passenger ride.
Ride, let the passenger ride.
I woke up late yesterday afternoon,
My eyeballs feeling like two balloons.
The doctor say things aint never gonna change,
Till you stop riding that all night train.
Ride, let the passenger ride.
Ride, let the passenger ride.
Took a little trip to keep from going insane,
Spent the rest of my life on the all night train.
All night train.
All night train.
All night train.
song performed by by Allman Brothers Band

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Bear Creek
Way up on bear creek watching the sun go down.
Way up on bear creek watching the sun go down.
It makes me feel like, Im on my last go round.
The water on bear creek tastes like cherry wine.
The water on bear creek tastes like cherry wine.
You take one drink of it, your tasting it all the time.
If you stay on bear creek youll get like jesse james.
If you stay on bear creek youll get like jesse james.
Youll take two old pistols, and hold up that bear creek train.
Im going high high up on some lonesome hill.
Im going high high up on some lonesome hill.
Look down on bear creek, where my good gal used to live.
song performed by by John Prine

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Ride The Train
Words and music by teddy gentry
Orange blossom special, the wabash cannonball, the chattanooga choochoo, this hobos seen em all.
Ive watched the sante fe lay her smoke against the sky and listen to old
Number three rollin through the night.
Chorus:
Ride the train. ride the train.
Anywhere Im going I ride trains.
Sleepin in a boxcar when it rains.
Ride the train, ride the train.
Southern pacific, the overland express and up ahead the coal cars of west
Virginias best.
And oklahomas frisco, the biggest one of all.
Ive listened to the silver steeds lonesome midnight call.
Chorus
Ride the train. trains.
song performed by by Alabama

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Train Of Gold
I saw her there from across the street, she was dressed in black
And when she moved she moved to a beat, like a cadillac
She rode a train, train train train, a train of gold
She was a woman of suspicious ways, never saw daylight
And in her room she sat and passed the days
And shed creep out at night
She rode a train, train train train, a train of gold
Chorus: train of gold, train of gold
It took me so long to find out I was wrong
Now I wait for her in the night
Looked through a window saw a velvet sky, a shade of green
A violin was playing soft and sweet, like it was a dream
She rode a train, train train train, a train of gold
Train of gold, train of gold
It took me so long to find out I was wrong
Now I wait for her in the night
Train of gold, train of gold
I dont believe her, it just couldnt be her
I cant get it out of my mind
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra

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Jesse
(carly simon/mike mainieri)
Oh mother, say a prayer for me
Jesses back in town, it wont be easy
Dont let him near me
Dont let him touch me
Dont let him please me
(chorus)
Jesse, I wont cut fresh flowers for you
Jesse, I wont make the wine cold for you
Jesse, I wont change the sheets for you
I wont put on cologne
I wont sit by the phone for you
Annie, keep reminding me
That he cut out my heart like a paper doll
Sally, tell me once again
How he set me up just to see me fall
Chorus
Jesse, quick come here
I wont tell a soul
Not even myself
Jesse, that youve come back to me
My friends will all say shes gone again
But how can anyone know what you are to me
That Im in heave again because youve come back to me - oh jessie!
Jesse, Ill always cut fresh flowers for you
Jesse, Ill always make the wine cold for you
Jesse, I can easily change my mind about you
And put on cologne
And sit by the phone for you
Jesse, lets open the wine
And drink to the heart
Which has a will of its own
My friends, lets comfort them
Theyre feeling bad
They think Ive sunk so low
Jesse, Ill always cut fresh flowers for you
Jesse, Ill always make the wine cold for you
Jesse, I will change the sheets for you
Put on cologne
And I will wait by the phone for you - oh jesse!
song performed by by Carly Simon

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Train Long Gone
(Gone!) Well, I hate how that word
Rattles all around in this room
(Alone,) with a memory so strong
I could sweep it up with a broom.
(Tears,) if I shed anymore I'm afraid
They might wear out my face
(Clear,) Yes, It's clear to me now
That her love can never be replaced.
Love may be gone but never forgotten
The memory won't leave you alone
And the train may be long gone from the station
But you still hear the whistle moan.
Still hear the whistle moan.
--- Instrumental ---
(Time,) time got so slow and thick
That the clock hardly ticks anymore
(Crime,) it's a crime how I sit here
And stare like a dog at the door.
(Blame,) Aw yes, I'll take the blame
I admit I did not treat her right
(Shame,) It's a shame laying here
All alone on this cold, windy night.
Love may be gone but never forgotten
The memory won't leave you alone
And the train may be long gone from the station
But you still hear the whistle moan.
Still hear the whistle moan.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train gone, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train gone, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train gone, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh.
Love may be gone but never forgotten
The memory won't leave you alone
And the train may be long gone from the station
But you can still hear the whistle moan.
Still hear the whistle moan.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train gone, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train gone, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train, long gone train.
Ohh, Ohh, Ohh, Ohh
Train, long gone train...
song performed by by Randy Travis

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One Way Ticket - Because I Can
Standing on the border
Looking out into the great unknown
I can feel my heart beating faster as I step out on my own
Theres new horizon and the promis of favorable wind
Im heading out tonight, traveling light
Im gonna start all over again
And buy one way ticket on a west bound train
See how far I can go (because I can)
Im gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain
And talk to someone I dont know (because I can)
I will face the world around me
Knowing that Im stron enough to let you go
And I will fall in love again
Because I can
Gonna climb the mountain
And look the eagle in the eye
I wont let fear clip my wings and tell me how high I can fly
How could I have ever believed
That love had to be so blind
When freedom was waiting, dwon at the station
All I had to do was make up my mind
And buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
See how far I can go (because I can)
Im gonna go out dancing in the pouring ran
And talk to someone I dont know (because I can)
I will face the world around me
Knowing that Im strong enough to let you go
And I will fall in love again
Because I can
Well, I have walked through the fire
And crawled on my knees through the valley of the
Shadow of doubt
Then the truth came shining like a light on me and
Now I can see my way out
Im gonna buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
See how far I can go (because I can)
Im gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain
And talk to someone I dont know
Im gonna buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
Gonna have my breakfast with pink champagne
Im gonna sail the ocean, Im gonna spread my wings
Im gonna climb that mountain, gonna do everything
song performed by by LeAnn Rimes

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This Train Revised
Its a fish white belly
A lump in the throat
Razor on the wire
Skin and bone
Piss and blood
In a railroad car
100 people
Gypsies queers
And davids star
This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for glory
This train
Measure the bones
Count the face
Pull out the teeth
Do you belong
To the human race
Doctor doctor
Are you unkind
Do you shock the monkeys
Cover our eyes
With clear blue skies
This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for glory now
This train
Here is a dancer
Who has no legs
Here is a teacher
Who has no face
Here is a healer
Who has no hands
Here is a runner
Who has no feet
Here is a thinker
Who has no head
Here is a builder
Who has no back
Here is a writer
Who has no voice
These are the questions
These are the answers
Stacked like wood
This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for glory now
This train
This train is bound for glory
This train gonna carry my mother
This train is bound for glory
This train gonna carry my father
This train is bound for glory now
This train gonna carry my sister
This train
This train gonna carry my brother
(here is a teacher)
[stacked like wood]
This train gonna carry my sister
(here is a healer)
[stacked like wood]
This train gonna carry my brother
(this is a builder)
This train gonna carry my sister
[gypsies queers and davids star]
This train is
This train is bound for glory
These are the questions
Stacked like wood
These are the answers
Here is potential gone for good
song performed by by Indigo Girls

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Vibes Man
Vibes man in the alley, play me your spitball serenade,
And a deeper blue and youll be playing in your grave.
Save your notes, spend them on your blues, boy.
Help your darlin yearlin blues, boy.
Hit the church note, ring it!
Vibes man sing the trashcan hear your junkman singing.
Fish lady, dont you bait those tenement walls.
Dont take corner boys because theyre too easy.
You were born black and blue,
You didnt have to wait for somebody to hit you.
Take my arm, Ill move with you down broadway.
Take my arm, oh honey, Ill walk with you down broadway.
Im the young man and Ill be proud,
And I can talk real loud.
And Im from out of town, too.
Wont you come home with me.
Wont you come home with me.
But no, cause she wont take a train,
Oh, she wont take that train.
Oh, she wont take a train.
Oh, she wont take that train.
She wont take a train.
Oh, she wont take that train.
Oh, she wont take a train.
Oh, she wont take that train.
You wont take the train.
She wont take the train.
Cause shes afraid those tracks are gonna slow her down.
And when she turns around,
Im gonna be gone like the ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen

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One Way Ticket
(judy rodman/keith hinton)
Standing on the border
Looking out into the great unknown
I can feel my heart beating faster as I step out on my own
Theres a new horizon and the promise of favorable wind
Im heading out tonight, traveling light
Im gonna start all over again
And buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
See how far I can go (because I can)
Im gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain
And talk to someone I dont know (because I can)
I will face the world around me
Knowing that Im strong enough to let you go
And I will fall in love again
Because I can
Gonna climb the mountain
And look the eagle in the eye
I wont let fear clip my wings and tell me how high I can fly
How could I have ever believed
That love had to be so blind
When freedom was waiting, down at the station
All I had to do was make up my mind
And buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
See how far I can go (because I can)
Im gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain
And talk to someone I dont know (because I can)
I will face the world around me
Knowing that Im strong enough to let you go
And I will fall in love again
Because I can
Well, I have walked through the fire
And crawled on my knees through the valley of the shadow of doubt
Then the truth came shining like a light on me and now I can see my way out
Im gonna buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
See how far I can go (because I can)
Im gonna go out dancing in the pouring rain
And talk to someone I dont know
Im gonna buy a one way ticket on a west bound train
Gonna have my breakfest with some pink champagne
Im gonna sail the ocean, Im gonna spread my wings
Im gonna climb that mountain, gonna do everything
song performed by by LeAnn Rimes

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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