Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh
Never bite a married woman on the thigh oh my
Cause she just can't rub it off no matter how she'll try
And when she gets home at night her man will ask her why
Then she'll say it's just a birthmark or some other silly lie
But he'll get suspicious and then he will start to pry
Then she'll get hysterical and she will start to cry
And he'll say I don't blame you but tell me who's the guy
So she'll admit to everything and he will say bye-bye
And he'll buy an airline ticket and he'll fly across the sky
And then he'll come and find you and he'll punch you in the eye
Then he'll rent a cheap hotel room and he'll hang himself with his tie
And when she gets the news she'll take an overdose of sleeping
Tablets and she's gonna lie on the couch and die
So never never never never never never never bite a married woman on the thigh
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Big Fat Woman
You big fat woman get your fat leg off of me
You big fat woman get your fat leg off of me
You feel so good
Scare the hell out of me
You got a great big leg
Got a whoppin' thigh
Great big leg
Got a whoppin' thigh
Now oooh
You got a great big leg
Got a whoppin' thigh
And every time you move make my temperature rise
That fine lookin' woman got a great big leg
Fine lookin' woman got a great big leg, Yeah
Big fat woman with a great big leg
Big fat woman got a great big leg
And every time she moves
Moves like a soft boiled egg
So big fat woman get your fat leg off of me
Now you obese woman get your fat leg off of me
You feel so good
Scare the hell out of me
song performed by by Jim Croce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Only A Man
Music :rudolf schenker
Lyrics:klaus meine, herman rarebell
Well you know it is hard
Being a long time apart
But its you that I love, dont you see
And when I go away
You say, please stay okay
I want you to stay only with me
Well you know it is hard
All these girls are so smart
And they see me all over the place
Well they phone me at night
Ask me out for a bite
I can see all the lust in their face
All these chicks really know
That next day I will go
And they will never see me again
So when Im back home
And we both are alone
I can feel all you love and your pain
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Now you know how I feel
Nothing is real
Well its hard to say no
When youve done a good show
And they all want you to celebrate
Well I try to refuse
Try to make some excuse
But at this point its mostly too late
Yeah, I start feeling good
And I get in the mood
I guess, youll know what I mean
These chicks all around
Its so hard to keep count
Its like a schizophrenic dream
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Now you know how I feel
Nothing is real
Well you know it is hard
Being a long time apart
But its you that I love, dont you see
And when I go away
You say, please stay okay
I want you to stay only with me
Well you know it is hard
All these girls are so smart
And they see me all over the place
Well they phone me at night
Ask me out for a bite
I can see all the lust in their face
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Now you know how I feel
Nothing is real
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Woman, Im only a man
Do the best that I can as you know
Now you know how I feel
Nothing is real
song performed by by Scorpions
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Automobile
February morning, my car wont start today
I turned the key at 8:03 and the battery passed away
Inside a my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
I want to drive it all around this world
Brides gettin married in the springtime
Widows gettin married in the fall
I got married in high school
Or I wouldnt of got married at all
Id be drivin my automobile
Be drivin my automobile
Be drivin my automobile
I wanna drive it all around this world
Everybody said to the new groom
Groom, what ya gonna be
I said Im gonna be a symphony
Just as soon as I find a key
To my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
All around this world
Spoken:
Lets take a ride
Columbus sailed the ocean
Moses parted the sea
Dolores left me yesterday
Well, I think she took the key
To my automobile
I want my automobile
I want my automobile
Wanna drive it all around this world
Now I held a little bitty baby
I held a woman all night
Whenever I get the hiccups
I hold my breath til my head gets light
Then I drive my automobile
Yeah I drive my automobile
I drive my automobile
Im want to drive it all around this world
February morning, my car wont start today
Yeah, I turned the key at 8:03
And the battery passed away
Inside a my automobile
Im drivin my automobile
Wanna my automobile
Wanna drive it all around this world
Go on.
Spoken:
It is a beautiful day for a ride
Hey, get your head down I cant see anything
Someone give me a cigarette
I dont want to take my hands off the wheel
We ought to take the air filter off this sucker.
So we can see what it will really do.
Uh oh, it looks to me like a hos-pital zone
Everybody get quiet. shhhhhhhh.
Dont wake the dead up.
Were almost out. hang on. uh oh here we go.
Well, you can just hold it until we get to the next town.
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hoy 613
I am married to an Ethiopian woman and,
You are very much worried about it;
But the code for your salvation is 'HOY 613' and,
I will keep on holding on for this love.
The stone is a witness against you and,
Of the flint knives of circumcision around you;
But, she was a very beautiful woman to meet at last.
I know that you are a peaceful and a humble man,
But she was a virgin and i married her!
And i took her to save her name among the lot.
Bring your loot of stray animals back to me and,
Let me take you to a place called the 'Caller's Spring';
For the malak of Yahweh called me from heaven and,
I answered him with the care of this woman.
'HOY 613',
Do not hang them out in the broad day light;
For i keep on searching to get my taste and,
I need this woman beside me always.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Her Kind
have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.
I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.
I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.
poem by Anne Sexton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Fake Doctor
The fake doctor raped the married woman! !
For he saw the beauty of the woman and moved his libido;
But this married woman consulted him for an advice,
And he said that the devil made him did that.
Who did the act?
Was it the devil or this man?
And the unsuspecting victim was a married woman;
But the fake doctor raped her.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bite My Lip
I got a nine to five it seems like it never ends
I got a touchy boss that wants me in his hands, yeah
And no is a word that he doesn't understand
He says baby can you work with me tonight
I know he knows that I can use the overtime, yeah
But I can tell he's gonna hand me another line
I gotta bite my lip
Keep it inside
Gotta bite my lip
Just let it ride
I gotta bite my lip
Watch what I say
Gotta bite my lip
Just walk away
Yeah I run straight home I got a hot date tonight, yeah
I got a chilled champage for dinner by candle light
He's gonna be here soon and everything will be alright
I get a call, Guess who's on the other line
I can't make it tonight, Can we do it another time yeah
Oh the nerve, I'd like to give him a piece of my mind
I gotta bite my lip
Keep it inside
Gotta bite my lip
Just let it ride
I gotta bite my lip
Watch what I say
Gotta bite my lip
Just walk away
I gotta bite my lip
Keep it inside
Gotta bite my lip
Just let it ride
I gotta bite my lip
Watch what I say
Gotta bite my lip
Just walk away
song performed by by Shania Twain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Got Married
Going fast, coming soon
We made love in the afternoon.
Found a flat, after that
We got married.
Working hard for the dream,
Scoring goals for the other team,
Times were bad, we were glad
We got married.
Like the way you open up your hearts to each other,
When you find a meeting of the minds.
Just as well love was all we ever wanted,
It was all we ever had.
Further on in the game,
Waiting up till the children came.
Place your bets, no regrets,
We got married.
We got married.
We got married.
Nowadays every night flashes by
At the speed of light,
Living life, loving wife,
We got married.
I love the things that happen
When we start to discover
Who we are and what were living for,
Just because love was all we ever wanted
It was all we ever had.
Its not just a loving machine,
It doesnt work out
If you dont work at it.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Im Just A Woman
(ronnie scott/ steve wolfe)
Producer for bonnie: hugh murphy
**Im just a woman
You are the only man
I need you always
You need me now and then
Im just a woman
You are the only man
Im just your puppet
You make me dance and sing
You know I love it
Letting you pull my string
Im just a woman
You are the only man
*and I know if you choose
Yon can throw me away
Like some old shoe
But as long as youre there
From the bottom or my heart
I dont care
I m just the lover
You want along the way
I try to do it
But you always start to play
Im just a woman
You are the only man
*repeat
Im just a woman, ooh
Im just a woman, ooh
And there are times you really show
What s in your heart and then I know
No matter what yon do I cant let go
Of any part of your love
**repeat
*repeat
Im just a woman, ooh
Im just a woman, ooh
Im just a woman
You are the only man
Im just a woman
Said Im just a woman
Im just a woman
You are the only man
Said Im just a woman
Im just a woman just a woman
You are the only man
Just a woman, ooh
Said Im just a woman
Im just a woman
You are the only man
Im just a woman
I said Im just a woman
And you are the only man
Yeah yeah
Im just a woman
You are the only man
Im just a woman
Said Im just a woman
Im just a woman
Youre, youre the only man
song performed by by Bonnie Tyler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bite dog
Street dog
Bite another dogs...
Bite
men and women...
Bite cat...
Bite...
Bite...
The dog bite all
At night time
One car was dash
The dog
Dog was dead...
Dog dead body on
The street...
Nobody watch him...
Bite dog is
Politkal dog...
Or monky dog...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mariam
Mariam my cousin,
You married on the 2nd of November 2008;
So, welcome into the Club of Married Couples.
Mariam my cousin,
You are a woman of substance to your husband and,
2nd November will be remembered always;
For the beauty of your shape is prepared for your husband.
Play the harp to lover and sing to him a song of joy!
Like Pharaoh's daughter being married to King Solomon.
You are like the four bronze wheels with their axles,
So be very nice to your husband at all times;
For the two tablets of stone is now formed into one.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sleeping On the Same Bed
I went to a country and,
I found two men sleeping on the same bed;
Then i said to myself: 'This is how the world wants it'.
I travelled on further and went to another country,
There i saw two women sleeping on the same bed;
Then i said to myself: 'This is how the world wants it'.
Then i looked ahead of me and i saw a beatiful Island,
There i went and i met a man and a woman sleeping on the same bed;
Then i said to myself: 'I am at home, i am at home! '
Because this is how it was back home,
So i settled and married over there.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Rated X
well if you've been a married woman
and things didn't seem to work out
divorce is the key to being loose and free
but you're gonna be talked about
everybody knows that you loved once
they think you'll love again
you can't have a male friend
when you're a has been
or a woman, you're rated x
[yeah]
and if you're rated x
you're some kinda gold
that even men turn [?] to make
but I think it's wrong
to judge every picture
if a cheap camera makes a mistake
so if your best friend's husband
says to you
that you started lookin' good
you should've known he would
and he would if he could
and he will if you're rated x
well nobody knows where you're going
but they sure know where you been
all they're thinking of
is your experience in love
well their minds fill up with sin
the women all look at you like you're bad
the men all hope you are
but if you go too far
you're gonna wear the scar
of a women, rated x
[yeah]
and if you're rated x
you're some kinda gold
that even men turn [?] to make
but I think it's wrong
to judge every picture
if a cheap camera makes a mistake
so if your best friend's husband
says to you
that you started lookin' good
you should've known he would
and he would if he could
and he will if you're rated x
yeah us women don't have a chance
cause if you've been married
you can't have any fun at all
you're rated x
no matter what they do
they're gonna talk about ya
don't know what to think about it
just let 'em talk
just let 'em talk meg
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Start A New Life
Go home, pretender
I think this is the end here
Its been a long time decidin
But I think Ive found the right end.
Youre gonna go away, start a new life
Forget today, start a new life
Start a new life.
Hopes crushed and battered
But you laugh as if it didnt matter
This joke is gonna turn blue
And I wont be there to hold you.
Youre gonna go away, start a new life
Forget today, start a new life
Start a new life.
Go home, debater
It was soon and now its later
And thats only a piece of paper
So dont you stand there a-laughin and a-wavin it.
Youre gonna go away, start a new life
Forget today, start a new life
Start a new life.
song performed by by Reo Speedwagon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lets Get Married
See first of all
I know these so-called playas wouldnt tell you this
But Im gonna be real and say whats heart
Lets take this chance and make this love feel relevant
Didnt you know I loved you from the start, yeah
When I think about all these years we put in this relationship
Eho knew wed make it this far?
When I think about where we would I be if we were to just fall apart
And I just cant stand the thought of leving you
Meet me in the altar in your white dress
We aint getting no younger, we might as well do it
Been feeling all the while girl I must confess
Girl lets just get married
I just wanna get married
Meet me in the altar in your white dress
We aint getting no younger, we might as well do it
Been feeling all the while girl I must confess
Girl lets just get married
I just wanna get married
Said I done it all
But frankly girl Im tired of this emptiness
I wanna come home to you and only you
Cause making love to just anyone aint happening
I just gotta be with you
Do you think about us finishing something we started so long ago?
I wanna give you my all
Do you think about us maybe having some babies?
Come on wont you be my lady forever,yeah
Im ready to commit to you
And I just cant wait for that night
Cause I need you here with me
And lets start a family
Meet me in the altar in your white dress
We aint getting no younger, we might as well do it
Been feeling all the while girl I must confess
Girl lets just get married
I just wanna get married
song performed by by Jagged Edge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tell Everybody
Well every night when I come home,
you just make me want to cry.
There's no more feeling in your heart,
I can tell by the look in your eyes.
You sold my house, you wrecked my car,
and you keep telling me lies.
I'm gonna tell y'all the plain old truth
and I hope it's help you in time.
I'm gonna tell everybody
make sure you got your woman's love.
I'll tell everybody
that a woman needs a man to love.
Can't you see what you're doin' to me?
Girl you got to change your ways.
I can't stand this running around.
Lord I got to find me a way.
Oh dreams are dreams, and love is love,
and that's the way that I feel.
If I'm gonna find a woman to love,
I gotta make her see what is real.
I'm gonna tell everybody
make sure you got your woman's love.
I'll tell everybody
that a woman needs a man to love.
Yes she does.
Now she's gone and I'm on my way
to find me a better life.
No more time to settle down,
I just got to find out what it's like.
Life is real and time is right
for us to see how it is.
If you're lookin' for a woman to love
make sure she's yours and not his.
I'm gonna tell everybody
make sure you got your woman's love.
I'll tell everybody
that a woman needs a man to love.
Yes she does.
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Punch And Judy
Gather 'round!)
Punch and Judy did it truly and were married in a haste
In love, maybe, using the baby as a kind of romance paste
She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter, looks much older than nineteen
He's a drinker not a thinker, baby spoiled his could have been
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
oh oh oh oh!
Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner's far from hot
She grows tired, cab is hired, she goes round to see her friend
He comes back late, fool is irate, we will see his temperament
Punch and Judy in a quandary, she's walked out and he is mad
Now he's grown up, can't smash home up, retribution must be had
Punch and Judy had a baby who brought them to married bliss
Mr Punch has drunken hunch that he must punish kid for this
Punch and Judy
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Punch And Judy
Gather 'round!)
Punch and Judy did it truly and were married in a haste
In love, maybe, using the baby as a kind of romance paste
She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter, looks much older than nineteen
He's a drinker not a thinker, baby spoiled his could have been
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
oh oh oh oh!
Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner's far from hot
She grows tired, cab is hired, she goes round to see her friend
He comes back late, fool is irate, we will see his temperament
Punch and Judy in a quandary, she's walked out and he is mad
Now he's grown up, can't smash home up, retribution must be had
Punch and Judy had a baby who brought them to married bliss
Mr Punch has drunken hunch that he must punish kid for this
Punch and Judy
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Calving Cow is More A Beauty
Dear Aditi Gowtrikar,
You are Mrs. World 2001.
Before you were crowned,
I knew you as a model
And took you as a damsel.
I was mad under your spell.
Had not you been married,
Had not you calved,
Could you be that captive?
Doubtful.
A married woman and
A mother-woman
Are more in glow.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Want A Woman
I cant wait to find the woman thats just for me
I know she's out there but where could she be
Ive seached alll over the world
In this never ending search for that one special girl
I cant wait to find her so our love can unfurl
i want a woman to make me smile whenever I see her face
One that I know nothing would make me replace
I want a woman with a kiss so warm
One that I can cuddle within the mist of any storm
I want a woman to know when she's with me
There's no other place in the world she'd rather be
I want a woman thats really something
I want a woman with a flame I would never have to rekindle
I want a woman with a love that will never d'windle
I want a woman thats silly as can be
I want a woman to appriciate the humor in me
How would I act when I find that one
It does'nt really matter, for my search will finally be done.
poem by Daniel Chapman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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