Im Not Sure Why It Took So Long

I'm not sure why it took so long
Making up my silly mind
To take that one step forward
And leave loneliness behind

I thought that it meant weakness
And I thought it'd take away
My hard won independence
Throw me in the "human" fray

I'm not sure why it took so long
For me to finally leave
The only thing I'd ever known
The sea, my boat, and me

But I suppose that I was stubborn
Vain with pride mixed in there too
And I never wanted you to think
That I was just like you

Secure on land, combined with all
The population's foam
For I had always thought that I
Was better on my own

I'm not sure why it took so long
To trade it for your face
How could I not? I finally did
And left my salty place

And now it's all so perfect
In our comfy, cozy home
Even though there are some days that I
Am wandering round alone

Upon the sea that's in my head
‘Cause there will never be
Replacement of that special part
That lives inside of me


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Lewis Carroll

A Strange Wild Song

He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
"At length I realize," he said,
"The bitterness of life!"

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
"Unless you leave this house," he said,
"I'll send for the police!"

he thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
"The one thing I regret," he said,
"Is that it cannot speak!"

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
"If this should stay to dine," he said,
"There won't be much for us!"

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a Coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
"Were I to swallow this," he said,
"I should be very ill!"

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!"

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The Thought Of You

It actually frightens me
The though of you
Because there are countless things
That it can make me do

The thought of you can make my heart race
It can leave me restless at night
Can make me fidgety to the point where I pace

The thought of you can leave me buzzing with an unknown high
It can form a pit in my stomach
And can leave me love sick and sighing

The thought of you above all other thoughts in my mind shines
It can send shivers down my spine
And make me long for you to be mine

The thought of you can take my breath away
The thought of you from my mind never really strays

But even though the thought of you can send me flying sky high
I'm not gonna lie
I haven't forgotten my heartaching past
Which is why part of me hopes this infatuation doesn't last

But until the thought of you finally fades away
I guess I'll enjoy it
After all
Who knows how long the thought of you will be here to stay

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I've Been Wondering Where You Were

I took the long way home,
To know what I had.
To know what in me wished,
And
To know what wished was missing.
I took the long way home.

I took the long way home,
To know what made me glad.
And,
That I felt so sad
Without happiness had.
I took the long way home.

Struggling what love to me had meant.
Inside I would admit it.
But outside it wouldn't show
What inside I really needed,
And know I craved it so.

And struggling what love to me had meant,
To be
Wasn't for me easy,
Yet
I wanted my need pleased.
Perhaps in me,
Too selfishly.
And

I took long way home,
To know what I had.
To know what in me wished,
And
To know what wished was missing.
I took the long way home.

And struggling what love to me had meant,
To be
Wasn't for me easy,
Yet
I wanted my need pleased and met.
Regretfully I almost left
What for me was always best.

And
Finally I see,
This love for me
Is you!
As it was and meant to be!
And I'll never leave,
You alone
To find love that I've known,
With you
Again!

I took the long way home.

'I've been wondering where you were.
Hoping you would find
What in my mind I knew.
And now you know this too.
Welcome you I do
Back home again! '

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The Rendezvous

The lines of her dress were classic
She was curvy and tall and thin
She’d blood red shiny fingernails
Estee Lauder was under her chin

It was dark in the room when she entered
Except for a candle and chair
And a man with a handful of flowers
Expectantly waiting there

He wanted to be romantic
He wanted to be interesting
But she knew what he really was there for
In spite of the left handed ring

Yet she let down her hair with a flourish
Even though he had lied like a bum
She had lied to herself and she knew it
Cross the hundreds of miles she had come

They both knew there’d be spiritual fallout
They both knew someone surely would tell
They both knew there was no common sense in it
They both knew they would both burn in hell

But without thought or fear they went through with it
And when it was finally done
They were left with the shame and disgrace of it
Saying nothing before they ran home

So be mindful and always remember
If you find you've succumbed to their lot
There is never a happy conclusion
And your treachery's all that you've got


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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The night wind

Have you ever heard the wind go "Yooooo"?
'T is a pitiful sound to hear!
It seems to chill you through and through
With a strange and speechless fear.
'T is the voice of the night that broods outside
When folk should be asleep,
And many and many's the time I've cried
To the darkness brooding far and wide
Over the land and the deep:
Whom do you want, O lonely night,
That you wail the long hours through?"
And the night would say in its ghostly way:
"Yoooooooo!
Yoooooooo!
Yoooooooo!"

My mother told me long ago
(When I was a little tad)
That when the night went wailing so,
Somebody had been bad;
And then, when I was snug in bed,
Whither I had been sent,
With the blankets pulled up round my head,
I'd think of what my mother'd said,
And wonder what boy she meant!
And "Who's been bad to-day?" I'd ask
Of the wind that hoarsely blew,
And the voice would say in its meaningful way:
"Yoooooooo!
Yoooooooo!
Yoooooooo!"

That this was true I must allow -
You'll not believe it, though!
Yes, though I'm quite a model now,
I was not always so.
And if you doubt what things I say,
Suppose you make the test;
Suppose, when you've been bad some day
And up to bed are sent away
From mother and the rest -
Suppose you ask, "Who has been bad?"
And then you'll hear what's true;
For the wind will moan in its ruefulest tone:
"Yoooooooo!
Yoooooooo!
Yoooooooo!"

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The Woman and the Wife

I--THE EXPLANATION

"You thought we knew," she said, "but we were wrong.
This we can say, the rest we do not say;
Nor do I let you throw yourself away
Because you love me. Let us both be strong,
And we shall find in sorrow, before long,
Only the price Love ruled that we should pay:
The dark is the end of every day,
And silence is the end of every song.

"You ask me for one more proof that I speak right,
But I can answer only what I know;
You look for just one lie to make black white,
But I can tell you only what is true--
God never made me for the wife of you.
This we can say,--believe me! . . . Tell me so!"

II--THE ANNIVERSARY

"Give me the truth, whatever it may be.
You thought we knew, but now tell me what you miss:
You are the one to tell me what it is--
You are a man, and you have married me.
What is it worth to-night that you can see
More marriage in the dream of one dead kiss
Than in a thousand years of life like this?
Passion has turned the lock. Pride keeps the key.

"Whatever I have said or left unsaid,
Whatever I have done or left undone,--
Tell me. Tell me the truth . . . Are you afraid?
Do you think that Love was ever fed with lies
But hunger lived thereafter in his eyes?
Do you ask me to take moonlight for the sun?"

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Forgetting About You

I always thought I could do anything I put my mind to, but back then it didn't seem to be true, because the one thing I could never do was truly forget about you

I knew nothing could happen, I knew our love was forbidden but back then I was so young and naive I couldn't help but be smitten

Now a days I think about what could've been and what I sometimes still want to be, but I know I'm not fooling anyone not even myself you see, because there never really was a YOU AND ME

There were days when my heart ached for you and days where my head told me to wait for you

But those days are over and I've got things to do, I've got goals to reach, that I won't reach if I'm still sitting around crying broken hearted over you

I haven't thought about your smile in a long, long while or reminisced about the moments we shared, or spent all night worrying about if you ever really cared

I always thought I could do anything I put my mind to, and that to this day holds true, because I did the thing I never thought I could do

I Finally Forgot About You

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Der Liebesbrief

How have you been? My dear, my dear
You have not written in nary a year
Oh really? It's only been two or three months?
Whatever, whatever, it feels like a bunch
You think that it's funny, that's verdantly clear
Don't worry, I'm gone so there's nothing to fear
But I thought that I'd write a few lines so you'd know
I've moved on just as you writing poems as I go
And like you I'm a cynic so why should I care?
That you left me without having shed any tears
And those days that my heart feels it's tourniquet choke
I ignore with a whiskey, TV and a smoke

Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Christmas Past

That very special time of the year was the Christmas Season of my yesteryears or when I was a child, and I think of those wonderful very loving season, each Christmas with a smile. There was the joy and the warmth of my family , and friends. And there was always a special love shown me, I tearfully recall, and at this time we'd all say "Merry Christmas," or when I was very small. There were always the little "Snowbirds", and they sang as they sat in the holly and in the spruce, and they came during Christmas Season, even when no snow fell to this ground. I remember feeding them little crumbs of bread, and I wondered where they came from, and when they'd last been fed. They were a cheerful part of Christmas too, and they were seemingly all around. These little "Snowbirds" of my childhood Christmas, filled the season, and those carefree days with such beautiful sights, and sounds. Even though they were such a small part of it all, they'll remain so dear to my heart. Those days the spirit of Christmas seemed to fill the hearts of the young, and the old, and Santa had his magical part, in all the stories I was told. He came from such a magical place, and the spirit of giving kept the smile upon his face. I felt sorry for him, it seems though, because of those very long trips, and I thought about him not having his Christmas at home, and about the elves, and Mrs. Clause being left every Christmas, and about them being alone. I thought about the reindeer, about leaving Santa cookies, and milk, but I thought of how hungry the deer must get too, so I once tried to buy a bale of hay, but I couldn't find a farmer in town anywhere, so I thought they must be placing some out, and everyone has a part to play. There were family members then who are now in Heaven, and they may be gone from my sight, but those past Christmas memories of them are alive, and well in my heart, and for them I will do what is right. Thank you Lord for letting me live, and think as a child in my past, and for this day with your beautiful name ... Thank you for giving us such a day, and you can feel love most everywhere, and this love was so special when I was a child, in such a mystical , magical way ... Thank you too, for the past Christmas' I've experienced as a child, and thank you for those I have loved, and those I haven't seen for a while, and thank you for the Angels, who were there to guard you on the day that you were born, and I'd like to believe they named Christmas to wish you a "Happy Birthday"...

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Thomas Hardy

At Lulworth Cove a Century Back

Had I but lived a hundred years ago
I might have gone, as I have gone this year,
By Warmwell Cross on to a Cove I know,
And Time have placed his finger on me there:

"You see that man?" -- I might have looked, and said,
"O yes: I see him. One that boat has brought
Which dropped down Channel round Saint Alban's Head.
So commonplace a youth calls not my thought."

"You see that man?" -- "Why yes; I told you; yes:
Of an idling town-sort; thin; hair brown in hue;
And as the evening light scants less and less
He looks up at a star, as many do."

"You see that man?" -- "Nay, leave me!" then I plead,
"I have fifteen miles to vamp across the lea,
And it grows dark, and I am weary-kneed:
I have said the third time; yes, that man I see!"

"Good. That man goes to Rome -- to death, despair;
And no one notes him now but you and I:
A hundred years, and the world will follow him there,
And bend with reverence where his ashes lie."

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Good Bye To Yesterday

As you walk away
Stay close to your radio
Cos i called in and placed a song for you
Its my farewell song to yesterday
Goodbye is such a hard word to say
But i‘m glad i finally said it out loud
For long i‘ve always known you would go one day
But i guess the thought of saying goodbye was just too much to bear
And so i let you stay when i should have let you go
Maybe i thought if you stayed a little longer
You‘ll change your mind and stay forever
But now i know better, you were never meant to last more than a season
I know it will hurt to watch you leave
But now i think i can finally have my peace
Now i don‘t have to jump up from my sleep anymore
Scared that you left while i was deep in sleep
Now that i finally said goodbye, my heart is no longer heavy
It feels like a weight has been lifted off me
And i can finally take a breathe of relief
So just in case you thought it was going to be like before
When i‘ll come back running after you, begging to stay little longer
Then am very sorry to bust your bubbles
And if you think am not serious then stay close to your radio
Cos i called in and placed a farewell song for you
And the title is goodbye to yesterday

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The Swagman

Oh, he was old and he was spare;
His bushy whiskers and his hair
Were all fussed up and very grey
He said he'd come a long, long way
And had a long, long way to go.
Each boot was broken at the toe,
And he'd a swag upon his back.
His billy-can, as black as black,
Was just the thing for making tea
At picnics, so it seemed to me.

'Twas hard to earn a bite of bread,
He told me. Then he shook his head,
And all the little corks that hung
Around his hat-brim danced and swung
And bobbed about his face; and when
I laughed he made them dance again.
He said they were for keeping flies -
"The pesky varmints" - from his eyes.
He called me "Codger". . . "Now you see
The best days of your life," said he.
"But days will come to bend your back,
And, when they come, keep off the track.
Keep off, young codger, if you can.
He seemed a funny sort of man.

He told me that he wanted work,
But jobs were scarce this side of Bourke,
And he supposed he'd have to go
Another fifty mile or so.
"Nigh all my life the track I've walked,"
He said. I liked the way he talked.
And oh, the places he had seen!
I don't know where he had not been -
On every road, in every town,
All through the country, up and down.
"Young codger, shun the track," he said.
And put his hand upon my head.
I noticed, then, that his old eyes
Were very blue and very wise.
"Ay, once I was a little lad,"
He said, and seemed to grow quite sad.

I sometimes think: When I'm a man,
I'll get a good black billy-can
And hang some corks around my hat,
And lead a jolly life like that.

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Ode to Diana

'Let's flee the slip' Diana said
I long to leave this dreary bed
My mooring lines strain me to tears
By keeping me a prisoner here

I looked at her and she at me
Her frame was tugging to get free
And without second thought or crew
We headed toward the cobalt blue

When out the channel we'd decide
A dangerous sail or leisure ride
But either way a smile would come
Soft heartbeat or adrenaline

Once channel marker we had passed
Her voice exclaimed, 'At last! At last! '
And all and both our deepest needs
Were quenched as she increased her speed

And on this day we were alone
One flesh and blood, one glass that shone
And finally upon the sea
Where I was her and she was me

We entered our combined abode
Too deep to anchor or for rode
And dared Neptune who we had fought
To show us what he's really got

And suddenly before we knew
The ocean pot began to brew
But in our combined voice yelled back
'Go on! Attack, Attack, Attack! '

Foolish? No, we knew our strengths
From years of trials on outer banks
And as a child defies his mother
We charged up waves and went down others

And mast was sword and bow was shield
And she and I, we would not yield
Till Neptune sank into a tune
Of sad defeat behind the moon

The battle won we said Amen
But saddened to go back again
For it was only on the sea
Where she was I and I was she


Written by Sara Fielder © 2011

NOTE: This poem was written about my current sailboat Diana.

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Rudyard Kipling

The King's Job

The Tudor Monarchy


Once on a time was a King anxious to understand
What was the wisest thing a man could do for his land.
Most of his population hurried to answer the question,
Each with a long oration, each with a new suggestion.
They interrupted his meals--he wasn't safe in his bed from 'em--
They hung round his neck and heels, and at last His Majesty fled
from 'em.
He put on a leper's cloak (people leave lepers alone),
Out of the window he broke, and abdicated his throne.
All that rapturous day, while his Court and his ministers mourn
him,
He danced on his own highway till his own Policeman warned
him.
Gay and cheerful he ran (lepers don't cheer as a rule)
Till he found a philosopher-man teaching an infant-school.
The windows were open wide, the King sat down on the grass,
And heard the children inside reciting "Our King is an ass."
The King popped in his head: "Some people would call this
treason,
But I think you are right," he said; "Will you kindly give me your
reason?"
Lepers in school are as rare as kings with a leper's dress on,
But the class didn't stop or stare; it calmly went on with the
lesson:
"The wisest thing, we suppose, that a man can do for his land.
Is the work that lies under his nose, with the tools that lie under
his hand."
The King whipped off his cloak, and stood in his crown before
'em.
He said: "My dear little folk, Ex ore parvulorum--."
(Which is Latin for "Children know more than grown-ups would
credit")
You have shown me the road to go, and I propose to tread it."
Back to his Kingdom he ran, and issued a Proclamation,
"Let every living man return to his occupation!"
Then he explained to the mob who cheered in his palace and round it,
"I've been to look for a job, and Heaven be praised I've found it!"

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Rabindranath Tagore

The Gardener LXXV: At Midnight

At midnight the would-be ascetic
announced:
"This is the time to give up my
home and seek for God. Ah, who has
held me so long in delusion here?"
God whispered, "I," but the ears
of the man were stopped.
With a baby asleep at her breast
lay his wife, peacefully sleeping on
one side of the bed.
The man said, "Who are ye that
have fooled me so long?"
The voice said again, "They are
God," but he heard it not.
The baby cried out in its dream,
nestling close to its mother.
God commanded, "Stop, fool, leave
not thy home," but still he heard not.
God sighed and complained, "Why
does my servant wander to seek me,
forsaking me?"

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A Sick Child

The postman comes when I am still in bed.
"Postman, what do you have for me today?"
I say to him. (But really I'm in bed.)
Then he says - what shall I have him say?

"This letter says that you are president
Of - this word here; it's a republic."
Tell them I can't answer right away.
"It's your duty." No, I'd rather just be sick.

Then he tells me there are letters saying everything
That I can think of that I want for them to say.
I say, "Well, thank you very much. Good-bye."
He is ashamed, and turns and walks away.

If I can think of it, it isn't what I want.
I want . . . I want a ship from some near star
To land in the yard, and beings to come out
And think to me: "So this is where you are!

Come." Except that they won't do,
I thought of them. . . . And yet somewhere there must be
Something that's different from everything.
All that I've never thought of - think of me!

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The Long Way Home

Well I stumbled in the darkness
I'm lost and alone
Though I said I'd go before us
And show the way back home
Is there a light up ahead
I can't hold on very long
Forgive me pretty baby but I always take the long way home
Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a headful of lightning
And a hat full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
Oh and I love you sweet baby but I always take the long way home
I put food on the table
And roof over your head
But I'd trade it all tomorrow
For The highway instead
Watch your back if I should tell
Youre loves the only thing I've ever known
One thing for sure sweet baby I always take the long way home
You know I love you baby
More than the whole wide world
Im your woman
You know you are my pearl
Let's go out past the party lights
Where we can finally be alone
Come with me and we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home

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Overflow

I don't need ritualistic liturgy
To know God lives inside of me
No holy water on my head
A rosary my fingers thread
He makes up every single ounce
Of my being
My heart overflows
And my voice wants to scream
Till I burst into tiny microscopic beams
Of light and fire and sparks
That gleam


Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Itsy Bitsy Spider's Mrs

Itsy Bitsy Spider had it tough from the very start,
All he really wanted was to win the Mrs' heart,
But Mrs Spider was angry after a huge fight,
And scurried up the water spout, away from Itsy's sight.

So up went Itsy to the top of the water spout,
But when he reached the top the Mrs gave a shout,
Her rainfall of tears made him run back down,
And that's when Itsy decided to go to town.

Round and round Itsy ran, round and round the town,
"Help! " he yelled, "Help, help! The Mrs pushed me down! "
"I cannot take this pain" he cried, "We haven't spoken for hours"
And a kindly young gentleman said, "Why not give her flowers? "

Flowers, Itsy thought, that will prove I'm devout,
So up went Itsy, up the water spout.
The Mrs pushed him down again, tears in her eyes,
And quite distressed, Itsy gave an unhappy sigh.

Round and round Itsy ran, round and round the town,
"Help! " he yelled, "Help, help! The Mrs pushed me down! "
"I cannot take this pain" he cried, "I saw a tear in her eye"
And a jolly old baker said, "Why not make her a pie?

A pie, itsy thought, that will be the best tack,
So Itsy went up the water spout with a pie on his back.
The Mrs pushed him down again, moaning words of hate,
And Itsy didn't know how to make her emotions sate.

Round and round Itsy ran, round and round the town,
"Help! " he yelled, "Help, help! The Mrs pushed me down! "
"I cannot take this pain" he cried, "She says all we have is hate"
And a pretty little girl said, "Why not bring her on a date? "

A date, Itsy thought, that will ensure forgiveness!
So Itsy clambered up the spout, not wanting any less.
The Mrs pushed him down again, after her tears had rained,
And Itsy wished he could prove that his love was not feigned.

Standing at the bottom of the spout Itsy wondered what to do.
He thought and thought and then suddenly, he knew!
The way to win the Mrs' back was to simply tell the truth,
It can't be so hard, he thought, I've loved her since our youth.

At the bottom of the spout Itsy yelled to Mrs,
"My dear, my dear, how I miss your kisses! "
"I miss your lively eyes and your happy smile,
I need you back right now, if only for a little while".
"Please, oh please, you cannot just say goodbye,
Because if you don't forgive me, I know that I will die"

At the top of the spout the Mrs' rain stopped flowing,
Before Itsy new it, sunshine was growing.
Itsy saw the sun in her eyes and climbed swiftly to her side,
And Mrs Spider beamed at her husband with joy and pride.

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Damaged Goods

Try to stop the world spinning round
My phone bill will tell you she lives out of town
Its been a long, long time but still I dream
Of warm sunny days on 12th and lorraine
I wish you were here right now....but then
I know I should just leave you alone
I should just leave you alone
I know I should just leave you alone
I should just leave you along
The ground moved under me
I pushed her away with the things Id say
Gods face grew
Earthquake size
And I cant cross our great divide
I wanna live inside....but then
I know I should just leave you alone
I should just leave you alone

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