High Cholesterol
I've got high cholesterol,
my doctor diagnosed it.
According to the doctor
my bad fats overflowing.
I was a tad perplexed
and thought that I'd been hexed
'I'm on a low fat diet,
that's fruit and veg, ' I said.
'Ah', said he, 'that's ‘cause,
your mum and dad designed ya.
It's in the genes you know
but don't let science blind ya'
I took my jeans right off
and looked right down each leg.
Well I'm not dumb I tell ya,
now I wear skirts instead.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
quote by Jonathan Swift
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Doctor Doctor
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Doctor
the doctor cannot hide her madness
at the patient
who has always been gaining weight
despite the
written prescription for the
strict diet
of vegetables and fruits
and less carbohydrates
with a definite no on smoking
and alcohol
and fats....
the reverse happens
the oily pork beside the chocolate cakes
the coca cola and rum and
Peking duck
goading, and hoarding
and overeating
he knows what he wants
she doesn't
he has always been praying for that quick
and happy death
the grief is too much
all his life he is the scarecrow in the field
the black birds tease him
the children stone him
the locusts have no fear of him
the golden fields have no need of him
the humiliating days are not over
he knows what he wish
the doctor is foolish
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Soul Doctor
Well I woke up this morning
Took your advice
I dialed the number
And I let it ring twice
Then I hung up
Now I tried to do
Everything I could
To save our love
And make it feel good again
I cant fight it, theres nobody home
Hard hearted and all alone
I give you love, you aint giving it back
I cant take it
I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know Im searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in
Ive been kicked in the corner
Im down in the dirt
I cant feel a thing
But I know it ought to hurt
Now your shaking my spirit
Im breaking my back
Im too blind to hear it
So I over react to satisfaction
If I could get me some
I aint talking, theres nothing to say
Misunderstandin, your walking away
Maybe baby, its gonna take time, time, time
I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know Im searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in
I need to see the soul doctor
You know things are looking grim
I keep searching for the soul doctor
Doctor soul is in
The doctors soul intention
Let it be understood
Cant pull the strings of my heart
I aint made out of wood
Now I take what I get
To get what it takes
Need a little bit a love
Got a whole lotta heartaches
I cant fight it, theres nobody home
Hard hearted and all alone
Maybe baby, its gonna take time, time, time
I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know Im searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in
I need to see the soul doctor
You know things are looking grim
I keep searching for the soul doctor
Doctor soul is in
Hey, a little bit of soul, oh yeah
Doctor soul is in
Heart and soul doctor
I need to see the soul doctor, soul doctor
Doctor soul is in
Doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor save my soul
Doctor soul is in
Ooh
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor, Doctor
Doctor, theres something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet
My eyesights getting dimmer, I cant see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, Im glad,
Ive got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today Ive got the mumps
And tomorrow Ill catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And Im shrinking last week I was five foot four
Ive been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
Its about to pick on me, Ive still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox Id get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think its time that I made out my will?
Ill leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts dont tell me, Im too ill.
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Apple a Day
An apple a day keeps the doctor away;
If the doctor is cute screw the fruit
poem by Ashley Reese
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pills.......[SHORT; Medical; Personal; Humor? ]
please see below:
keep going:
you are almost there!
if i really 'need' them i really don't mind pills,
but i'd rather walk and eat to keep at bay my ills.
by 'eat' i mean oats, and apples, and other healthy stuff.
a brisk thirty-minute walk a day isn't very tough.
i'm here at the drugstore, my blood pressure to take.
i hope to quit b/p med, to my life more simple make.
i think i can do it (if i keep up my walking) ,
be prescription-free, and keep on kicking and talking.
i quit my daily blood pressure med a week ago.
my readings are higher but, i think, still good to go.
if ‘doc' doesn't mind me being ‘prehypertensive',
i'll skip the prescription though it is not expensive.
a year ago i took ‘cholesterol med' for a day.
then my new doctor and i agreed to try another way
to improve my lab results with diet for a year, ……
eating nuts, and flax seed oil capsules from my dear.
a year's gone by and soon cholesterol i'll check,
with luck live a few more years, and not die a total wreck.
life's a drag enough sometimes, without being ill.
perhaps i can make it without a prescription pill.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
on second thought… it's not simple not taking pills
IF i have to walk and diet to keep away my ills.
a super colossal MAGICAL pill i would surely take
if then i needn't exercise……. and EVERYDAY i could eat my cake.
(2010)
poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dr. Detroit
Don't you stop
Don't you wonder why
Life itself pops in
And takes you by surprise
Don't you try to run
It gets you from behind
Like a common cold
It takes you for a ride
Now is the time
To call me doctor
This is a serious case
There's not much time
Now call me doctor
They love to watch him operate
It comes and goes
So call me doctor
They need a special technique
It grows and grows
Now call me doctor
Calling doctor, doctor detroit
Call me doctor (repeat)
No need to look
He's not in the book
The doctor's not an m.d.
What he does this time he does for free
Now is the time
To call me doctor
This is a serious case
There's not much time
Now call me doctor
They love to watch him operate
It comes and goes
So call me doctor
They need a special technique
It grows and grows
Now call me doctor
Calling doctor, doctor detroit
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just Search My Vain
Doctor come closer, I need your doctrines,
Take your time and search me please,
Find it and show it if you can,
Search it as thought I lost,
Doctor It is here somewhere,
It can't be anywhere,
It pains me in here,
Please doctor search my vain.
poem by Dickson Mseti
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Recent studies have revealed that children 8-10 years old are being diagnosed with Type II diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure at an alarming rate.
Illusions In G Major
On the seven seas there was aphantom ship acoming,
Shinin in the dead of night,
I heard the crew a hummin
Tunes that sounded like the rolling stones and leonard cohen.
But they didnt know the words,
So I assumed that they was foreign.
Chorus
But I heard them just the same doctor let me teach em,
I just wanna please em, doctor let me teach em.
I looked up in the sky there was a phantom plane a comin,
Shinin in the dead of night,
I heard the pilot saying,
Poems that were written by john keats and robert browning.
But he didnt know the words so,
I suppose that it was nothing.
Chorus
But I heard them just the same doctor let me teach em,
I just wanna please em, doctor let me teach em.
Doctor please believe me, I know you wont decieve me,
But do these things Im seein, have any hidden meaning.
Its all good entertainment and it doesnt cost a penny.
So please doc, let me teach em, if I could only reach em.
Chorus
But I heard them just the same doctor let me teach em,
I just wanna please em, doctor let me teach em.
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor
Johnston/Midnight/Schwartz
I'm a man who lives in the city
I'm a man who lives in the street
From F.L.A. to Frisco Bay
And everywhere in between
Coast to coast there's a question
Everybody's always askin' me
People want to know everywhere I go
What can the answer be
Music is the doctor
Makes you feel like you want to
Listen to the doctor
Just like you ought to
Music is the doctor of my soul
Well it seems that when I travel
And I'm out there on the road
The freedom I need is the freedom I leave
In my good time rock and roll
There's a healing in those guitars
And a spirit in the song
No matter what condition your rhythm is in
The message goes on and on
Music is the doctor
Makes you feel like you want to
Listen to the doctor
Just like you ought to
Music is the doctor of my soul
If you ever wonder
How to shake your blues
Just follow this prescription
And get the cure for what's ailin' you
Music is the doctor
Makes you feel like you want to
Listen to the doctor
Just like you ought to
Music is the doctor of my soul
song performed by by Doobie Brothers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Doctor
Johnston/midnight/schwartz
Im a man who lives in the city
Im a man who lives in the street
From f.l.a. to frisco bay
And everywhere in between
Coast to coast theres a question
Everybodys always askin me
People want to know everywhere I go
What can the answer be
Music is the doctor
Makes you feel like you want to
Listen to the doctor
Just like you ought to
Music is the doctor of my soul
Well it seems that when I travel
And Im out there on the road
The freedom I need is the freedom I leave
In my good time rock and roll
Theres a healing in those guitars
And a spirit in the song
No matter what condition your rhythm is in
The message goes on and on
Music is the doctor
Makes you feel like you want to
Listen to the doctor
Just like you ought to
Music is the doctor of my soul
If you ever wonder
How to shake your blues
Just follow this prescription
And get the cure for whats ailin you
Music is the doctor
Makes you feel like you want to
Listen to the doctor
Just like you ought to
Music is the doctor of my soul
song performed by by Doobie Brothers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Doctor
I cant hold you baby
I been thinking
I cant hold you
Another sign above
Doctor, doctor
Tell me what to do
I got heartbreak in my pocket
I got sunlight next to you
Doctor, doctor
Will the difference be adjourned
Could I help em only standing
Could I be the one to do
Doctor, doctor
What ? ? ? you
I been round by the river land
Where the sun burns burns bold and
All he ever [track skips] next to you
[music fades out, then back in]
Any wanna gonna man of wanna buy a taking you down
I was thinking of you
Round about wanna gonna say
Any other bonna down a on ya all the time that you wanted
I was all in the grave...i was down the ground
Put another [gets cut off]
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Diagnosis
Cried Allen Forman: 'Doctor, pray
Compose my spirits' strife:
O what may be my chances, say,
Of living all my life?
'For lately I have dreamed of high
And hempen dissolution!
O doctor, doctor, how can I
Amend my constitution?'
The learned leech replied: 'You're young
And beautiful and strong
Permit me to inspect your tongue:
H'm, ah, ahem!-'tis long.'
poem by Ambrose Bierce
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Just A Little Bit Of You
Just a little bit of you every day
Will surely keep the doctor away
Just a little bit of you every day
Will surely keep the doctor away
I told my mama how I feel about your power
Your love can heal, cant no doctors remedy
Ever do what you do for me
Just a little bit of you every day
Will surely keep the doctor away
Eeny weeny teeny bit of your love
Baby its all I need, its all I need
Since the day Ive been loving you
I cant catch a cold, I cant catch the flu
The sweet loving youve been giving me
Has become my daily need
Just a little o your love, every day
Its all I need, thats all I need
Just a little bit baby
Thats all I need, thats all I need
So dont send no doctor to my door
cause doctor john been here before
Dont you send him, just come yourself
Bring your loving and nothing else
Ooh just a, just a,
Just a little bit of you every day
Will surely keep the doctor away
Just a little bit of you every day
Will surely keep the doctor away
song performed by by Michael Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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