Obesity
With belly like a poisoned pup
Said I: 'I must give bacon up:
And also, I profanely fear,
I must abandon bread and beer
That make for portliness they say;
Yet of them copiously today
I ate with an increasingly sense
Of grievous corpulence.
I like a lot of thinks I like.
Too bad that I must go on strike
Against pork sausages and mash,
Spaghetti and fried corn-beef hash.
I deem he is a lucky soul
Who has no need of girth control;
For in the old of age: 'Il faut
Souffrir pour etre bean.'
Yet let me not be unconsoled:
So many greybeards I behold,
Distinguished in affairs of state,
In culture counted with the Great,
Have tummies with a shameless bulge,
And so I think I'll still indulge
In eats I like without a qualm,
And damn my diaphragm!'
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The shopping list
Eggs Bacon
Sausages Ham
Cheese Corned Beef
Pork Pies Spam.
Apples Pears
Oranges Kiwi Fruit
Lettuce Tomatoes
Cabbage Beetroot.
Biscuits Crisps
Corn Flakes Weetabix
Crumpets low fat spread
Mars bars and Twix.
Bread/wholemeal
Steak and Kidney Pie
Squash Ginger Beer
White wine/dry.
Don't forget the papers
Daily Mirror/The Sun
then treat yourself with
a cuppa and a creamy bun!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We Got The Beef
Had ourselves a little barbeque
Corn on the cob and mashed potatoes too
Joe got the fritos, ernie got the stew
So what did you bring
We got the beef
We got the beef
We got the beef
Yeah, we got it
(we got the beef)
Now, everybody get on your feet (we got the beef)
Grab a hunk of ? ? ? beef (we got the beef)
Chuck daddy (we got the beef)
Now, ground round by the pound
We got the beef (we got the beef)
We got the beef (we got the beef, we got the beef)
We got the beef (we got the beef, we got the)
We got the beef
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For the Love of Swine
Breakfast without bacon,
Seems like no breakfast at all.
Without Italian sausage roasted or baked...
In spaghetti.
It would be like having a milkshake,
Without milk.
Or Easter without ham.
With leftover sandwiches to make.
And those porkchops are delicious.
Especially fried.
And if they are seasoned just right to eat...
Some can be cooked to bring tears to eyes.
Smoked shoulder, and pickled pigfeet.
Neckbones and hamhocks.
With hotsauce on pork rinds.
A meal with neither of these,
On many Southern tables...
Is worse than committing the most horrendous crime.
For the love of swine,
People the world over can not resist.
Some relationships have ended...
Over spareribs and chitterlings,
If they were not properly fixed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Tribute To Bacon (Bacon the food)
Why does almost everyone like smoky bacon?
It tastes too good be not mistaken, the best thing to eat is great bacon.
They say even vegans like to eat bacon.
Have you heard they've even got chocolate covered bacon!
There is a donut with maple and bacon.
So, ode to pigs who give us great bacon.
And hooray to all who love great smoky bacon.
poem by Nichole Kaci McKnight
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Battle Of The Belly Bulge
You all had the adverts
that come through our email box
about fighting the battle of the bulge.
It’s not about the battle in World War 2
that they are talking about
it is the battle of the belly bulge.
The thing you get from eating
too much food or swilling too much beer.
It tends to send these things
to stick in just one place
and that is a little above the waist.
In some, the blubber wants to
hang over the edge
and then it seems you haven’t
got a waist at all.
They try to sell you miracle cures
that don’t work at all.
Go to the gym they say
the exercise will do the trick.
The problem there is that you
come out hungrier than you went in.
Now what do you do, tuck into another big pizza
and the circle goes around
and the bulge get even bigger.
Just to make things worse
is when you roll your way outside
and you see all these slim people
pass you in the street.
What is their secret I really want to know?
Here I am like Roly Poly
and they are like Streaky Bacon.
How do you do it I beg to know
for whenever I go bowling people like you
use me as the bowling ball.
I might knock down all the pins,
but I have to crawl back up the lane.
How do you do it I need to know?
I don’t want to be anymore
a gyms exercise ball.
Please, please tell me what the secret is?
There is no secret, no secret at all.
Eat anything you want but in moderation,
smaller portions that is and get plenty of exercise,
do a lot of walking.
Soon you will be able to see something
that you haven’t done in years,
YOUR TOES.
11 October 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'll Eat The Fish
I use to like it well done not rare.
Prepared tenderly as if one cared.
I had to have my steak well cooked and baked.
I use to slice it into pieces split,
With fried potatoes...
And some wine to slowly sip.
But when I changed my diet I got into fish.
And I discovered baked fish was quite delicious.
That was it.
And today there is no beef for me,
I'll eat the fish!
I use to slice my beef into tiny pieces split.
But when I changed my diet I got into the fish.
That was it.
That was it.
And today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
I use to like it well done not rare.
Prepared tenderly as if one cared.
I had to have my steak well cooked and baked.
I use to slice it into pieces split,
With fried potatoes...
And some wine to slowly sip.
But today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
Today there is no beef for me I will eat the fish!
That is it for me...
Today I'm on the fish!
Even fish sticks,
Will be eaten very quick.
I will handled eating up those fish sticks very quick.
Especially if they're deep fried and battered!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sad State Of Affairs
It’s a sad state of affairs
When you start to loose your friends
No one there to show they care
You even miss them driving you round the bend
It’s a sad state of affairs
When your ego is your compadre
He whispers in your ear 'you’re right and fair
You don’t need them, pay attention to what I say'
It’s a sad state of affairs
To know your smarter then those around you
What’s the point me going to your lair?
You speak nonsense but to you it sounds true
It’s a sad state of affairs
To have nothing going on in your life
Inside you’re dying to get up off the chair
But lack of motivation is your new strife
It’s a sad state of affairs
When you can’t even pay your bills
But to be honest do you even care?
Give me alcohol, shrooms and more pills
It’s a sad state of affairs
To not remember the years growing up
Except the fights between your family and your frère
Makes you think 'I could jump into that slowing truck'
It’s a sad state of affairs
When your writing is what you confide in
Teenage angst mixed with an adults raging stare
On this mountain of life I see people climbing
It’s a sad state of affairs
When you realise you’re the one slipping and sliding
poem by Kaspa Richards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Battle Of The Bulge
This year an ocean trip I took, and as I am a Scot
And like to get my money's worth I never missed a meal.
In spite of Neptune's nastiness I ate an awful lot,
Yet felt as fit as if we sailed upon an even keel.
But now that I am home again I'm stricken with disgust;
How many pounds of fat I've gained I'd rather not divulge:
Well, anyway I mean to take this tummy down or bust,
So here I'm suet-strafing in the
Battle of the Bulge.
No more will sausage, bacon, eggs provide my breakfast fare;
On lobster I will never lunch, with mounds of mayonnaise.
At tea I'll Spartanly eschew the chocolate éclair;
Roast duckling and péche melba shall not consummate my days.
No more nocturnal ice-box raids, midnight spaghetti feeds;
On slabs of pâté de foie gras I vow I won't indulge:
Let bran and cottage cheese suffice my gastronomic needs,
And lettuce be my ally in the
Battle of the Bulge.
To hell with you, ignoble paunch, abhorrent in my sight!
I gaze at your rotundity, and savage is my frown.
I'll rub you and I'll scrub you and I'll drub you day and night,
But by the gods of symmetry I swear I'll get you down.
Your smooth and smug convexity, by heck! I will subdue,
And when you tucker in again with joy will I refulge;
No longer of my toes will you obstruct my downward view . . .
With might and main I'll fight to gain the
Battle of the Bulge.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Don't Give
Every time you go away
It actually kinda makes my day
Every time you leave, you slam the door
You pick your words so carefully
You hate to think you're hurtin' me
You leave me laughing on the floor, 'cuz-
(Chorus)
I don't give it up,
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that
I thought we were just hangin' out (hangin' out)
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth?
You thought the way you taste would get me high- (oh)
You went to all your friends to brag (to brag)
Guys are always such a drag (a drag)
Don't you know the reason the reason that I kissed you was to say good-bye?
(Chorus)
'Cuz I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know-
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that
Hangin', hangin' out; I am simply
Hangin', hangin' out; I am simply
Hangin'... so why'd you kiss me on the mouth? (why'd you kiss me)
Don't you know that I-
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up, not for you
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up, not for you
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that
I don't give it up
I don't give a damn (I don't give it up)
What you say about that (I don't give a damn)
I don't give it up (I don't give it up)
I don't give a damn ( I don't give a damn)-acapo
song performed by by Avril Lavigne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sausage Sam
Our Sam is quite fussy when it comes down to food,
Unless it's just right she'll just sit there and brood;
But if truth it be told, when she's in the right mood,
She sure does love her sausages.
Now a sausage is only a long tube of meat,
That you cook on a grill in a great deal of heat;
But for these our Sammy would fly down the street,
'Cause she sure does love her sausages.
'The bigger the better' I once heard her say,
'I could eat two big jumbos then go out to play;
And for supper I'll eat two again, If I may,
'Cause I sure do love them sausages.'
A nice piece of lamb isn't her cup of tea,
And what she DOES eat wouldn't fill up a flea;
But at fighting I think she would kill forty-three
If they stood in the way of her sausages.
Now you wouldn't believe if you look at her figure,
How such fatty food just does not make her bigger;
If 'they' grew in the earth she would be a great digger,
I tell you she LOVES her sausages.
Well each to his own, I suppose that it's true,
And our Sam's got the right to like what she wants to;
When she gets up to heaven 'they'll' be on the menu,
Then FOREVER she'll be eating sausages.
(Written Sept 1994)
poem by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dont Quote Me On That
Its all eggs bacon beans and a fried slice.
Did you see the one, yeah yeah,
The one they wrote in the paper just the other day,
Well, well would you believe it,
Well what I said, they took it all the wrong way.
Now youve gotta be careful, bout what you say,
Cos theyve got a bad habit
Were you reading in between the lines?
Or is that what I said? , now I just cant remember
They seem to have a very good memory though
But as far as Im concerned, as as far as Im concerned
You don;t have to be black white, chinese or anything really
Just enjoy, shut up, listen and dance...
Its all eggs bacon beans and a fried slice
Dont quote me on that, dont quote me on that
Dont quote me on that, please dont quote me
Dont quote me on that
Dont quote me on that
Hey hey, you know something, I said I liked that guy,
But thats not what I read in the paper
I dont have anything against them,
Its just eggs bacon and a fried slice
Dont quote me on that dont quote me on that
Dont quote me on that please dont quote me
Dont quoe me on that
Dont quote me on that.
You know, now we get worried about what we say
We shouldnt be that way
You know, I dont care who comes,
Cos as far as Im concerned,
Its, eggs bacon beans and a fried slice
Dont quote me on that
Dontr quote me on that
Please dont quote me
Mama mama, you know Im still friends with mickey
They say I shouldnt like him anymore, because Im all white,
Well hes allright by me
Dont quote me on that
Please dont quote me
Dont quote me on that
Dont quote me on that
Now what I do, I bring all my old friends along to see the show
And if you have the wrong ideas well,
Its all eggs bacon beans and a fried slice
Dont quote me on that oh no
(dont quote me on that)
Please dont quote me
(dont quote me on that)
I never said that
(dont quote me on that)
Thats not what I meant
(dont quote me on that)
Well I suppose you could take it that way
(dont quote me on that)
But thats not what I meant to say
(dont quote me on that)
Wont you give me another chance
(dont quote me on that)
Please please
Dont quote me on that....
Id like to say thank you to pete, peter tosh
And all the other people who come and they believe in us for the fun and the music
Cos all Ive got to say to you press now is
Its all bacon beans and a fried slice
Eggs bacon beans and a fried slive
Go to maggies caff
132 liverpool road
Just down the road, just round the corner
Only theres not much corner
Its just chairs and tables and theyve even got a space invaders machine...
A cup of tea, thats fine for me,
Cos its all eggs bacon beans and a fried slive
Are you sure you turned that tape recorder off?
Are you sure? ,
Are you sure?
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Rockin L & H
Nothing tastes nearly as good
As it does on the outside grill
Camping out in my childhood
I have sweet memories still
Beans slow cooked and smoky
Bacon and bar-b-q sauce within
Biscuits light and fluffy as well
Sharing food with friends and kin
Corn so sweet and delicious
Yet crunchy against your teeth
The smell of the smoke in the air
Of wonderful smoky pork or beef
There’s a place that you’ll truly enjoy
Where you’ll never want to eat in haste
Because the food is so delicious
It is called the Rockin L & H!
poem by Marilyn Lott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Frim Fram Sauce
(joe ricardel, redd evans)
I dont want french fried potatoes,
Red ripe tomatoes,
Im never satisfied.
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
I dont want pork chops and bacon,
That wont awaken
My appetite inside.
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
Im gonna feed myself right tonight.
I dont want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
~interlude~
A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
Im gonna feed myself right tonight.
I dont want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
(now if you dont have it, just bring me a check for the water!)
song performed by by Nat King Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Frim Fram Sauce
I dont want french fried potatoes,
Red ripe tomatoes,
Im never satisfied.
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
I dont want pork chops and bacon,
That wont awaken
My appetite inside.
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
Im gonna feed myself right tonight.
I dont want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
~interlude~
A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right.
Five will get you ten
Im gonna feed myself right tonight.
I dont want fish cakes and rye bread,
You heard what I said.
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the ausen fay
With chafafa on the side.
(now if you dont have it, just bring me a check for the water!)
song performed by by Nat King Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When Bin Laden Came To Breakfast
When Bin Laden came for breakfast
We were quite surprised
He just sat smiling gently
With no menace in his eyes
Can I have my bacon crispy?
He asked with a warm grin
Up there in Afghanistan
The food is rather grim.
May I make one small suggestion
It would really make my day
If I could have some hash browns
Made the McDonalds way?
By now his talk was easy
The topics they ranged wide
And there was truly passion
Clear showing in his eyes.
Now pass me some more hash browns
And I'll tell you what I've learned
I've learned the West's not feeble
And its strength on it I've turned
I don't go chasing rainbows
And I know my weaknesses
But Bush he only thinks of strengths
Not what weaknesses are his.
At this he looked contented
He'd wiped his plate full clean
And then I was awoken
As if from out a dream.
.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Diabetic
she's actually 40
but she looks like 50
at the party
she is taking a case of
beer
drinks like a drum
and eats like there is no more food
for tomorrow
on a frothy mouth
she says she is hopeless
and would not hesitate
if she dies tomorrow
or even today
her husband is younger
by six years
and she swears he loves her even
if she is broke
she drinks more beer
and had more steak
more rice
more spaghetti
at 4 p.m. the waves of the sea
in this island
start to grow bigger
the wind starts to blow
and she rushes the boatman
to take her back
to the city
after all i guess
she is still afraid of the coming
typhoon
is she afraid of drowning?
i guess not
she says she is not afraid to die.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What is fear?
Fear is stormy weather
Fear is light as a feather
Fear is rain
Fear is pain
Fear is hiding in the dark
Fear is lingering at the park
Fear is not your friend
Fear is hard to comprehend
Fear is not knowing what to do
Fear is what ever he wants to
Fear is turning out the lights
Fear is having no sight
Fear is going to give you a thrill
Fear is also going to make you kill
Fear is never fun
Fear is going to make you run
Fear is that scary little voice
Fear is going to give you no other choice
Fear is losing someone
Fear is like a loaded gun
Fear is something you can't control
Fear is something you can't unfold
Fear is the opposite of love
Fear is what we're made of
Fear is not going to please
Fear is always me...
poem by Mrunal Nandankar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fear is...
Fear is stormy weather
Fear is light as a feather
Fear is rain
Fear is pain
Fear is hiding in the dark
Fear is lingering at the park
Fear is not your friend
Fear is hard to comprehend
Fear is not knowing what to do
Fear is what ever he wants to
Fear is turning out the lights
Fear is having no sight
Fear is going to give you a thrill
Fear is also going to make you kill
Fear is never fun
Fear is going to make you run
Fear is that scary little voice
Fear is going to give you no other choice
Fear is losing someone
Fear is like a loaded gun
Fear is something you can't control
Fear is something you can't unfold
Fear is the opposite of love
Fear is what we're made of
Fear is not going to plea
Fear is always me...
poem by Nolan Holland
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sliced Bread
Sliced bread...
Whole wheat and toasted.
Buttered with jam,
And munched.
Either with tea, punch...
Or just plain water for lunch!
Sliced bread...
With cheddar cheese and tomato.
Add Romaine lettuce,
Topped with fried strips of bacon.
This too will certainly do.
Sliced bread...
Oatmeal raisin,
Oven baked and fed.
Sliced bread...
Crumbed to stuff a turkey.
And seasoned to gobble...
With an aftertaste on the tongue,
Deliciously nutmeged!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Instant Mash
In the supermarket there is music while you work
It drives you crazy, sends you screaming for the door
Work there for a year or two and you can't get to like it
I don't work in supermarkets anymore
It's so easy, it's so easy
Grab can, lift arm, stack can, turn around
It's so easy, it's so easy
Do the instant mash, do the instant mash
Do the instant mash, make an instant smash
Doin' the instant mash
In the discorama there's a dj tries to charm ya
They got flashin' lights to dance to if you're shy
Red for treble, green for bass, they're wired in sequence round the place
You wait till ten, then try take off your tie
It's so easy, it's so easy
Lift hand, flick wrist, drop hand, turn around
It's so easy, it's so easy
Do the instant mash, do the instant mash
Do the instant mash, make some instant cash
Doin' the instant mash
In the cinema tonight they sit and watch the robots fight
The human beings don't have much to say
Robots making lots of cash and all they eat is instant mash
Oh wouldn't you just love to be that way?
It's so easy, it's so easy
Heat it, beat it, eat it, turn around
It's so easy, it's so easy
Do the instant mash, do the instant mash
Do the instant mash, make an instant smash
Doin' the instant mash
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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