He Says There Is No Denial
i watched him on his last lecture.
there are seven tumors on his liver.
six months to live and he is on the fourth month.
a little math will make us understand
as simple as that.
he does the push up
look there are no hands, he laughs.
there is no sadness in his eyes
just the glow of having to go
the eagerness of having to go on
sabbatical leave.
nervous laughter is heard
as he shifts from one joke to another.
he has three points: one must not stop dreaming.
second: one must help others realize their dreams
third: i miss this one. i have to go back and watch him again.
i guess i cried.
but i wipe my tears, and pretend that i feel nothing.
i can relate. Grandpa died of prostate cancer.
Papa died after Mama died. He could not wait dying
after another year.
well, what 's the worry? death is certain.
i think, there is nothing new here.
i, too, am moving, i may not know when, but i know where.
i just believe.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Notes About Grandpa
grandpa had a square jaw
a complete of hard yellow teeth
broad shoulders like his hectares of land
strong hands like his iron bars of words
he is hard on us
he is harder to papa who (if i were not mistaken
had a death wish for him
he should not have meant it
as anger was wont to
be)
he was soft on women
on lots of
beautiful women
grandma died when he was at his
hardest prime
and he had forgiven her
he was strict on codes
he broke all of them
sometimes i thought
he must have been too happy
before he died
crazy prostate cancer
ate him alive
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Kyrie, mass in c. k 427, Mozart
Papa is dead.
He is following mama.
His coffin is white
And shiny
Very much like
That of mama
In kyrie
The soprano
Sings for papa
In the church
For his last
Day today.
All seems to be white.
Pure, o they were
Purely in love
When they were
Alive, they always
Quarrel, papa kicks
Mama and mama
Bites him in return
They seem not to
Endure each other’s
Presence and each
Would want to
Kill each other.
Mama died first
And papa takes
Her picture and
Keeps it in his
Pocket and he
(mind you)
cries all night
papa loved mama
mama loved papa
after all.
Listen to the song
Of kyrie
Amadeus Mozart
A hymn for the
Dead who cannot endure
Each other when
They were once alive.
Until now, it is something
That I cannot understand.
I listen to kyrie
The soprano taking us to the tip of the mountain
Her human voice
Topping my puzzlement of it all
Why in death, why after death,
We realize the person that we miss
When he is gone, we say we love him most.
Papa loved mama after all
We loved papa after all.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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What my mama utters in her deathbed
She is dying of diabetes, all her organs
Malfunctioning
On sugared complications,
Except some portions of her brain
Still asking questions,
Where is Leonora?
She is in the office mama still working
And where is Betty?
She is on your bedside mama and she is crying
Why? Is she sad? Did she pay her debts to the china man?
And where is Marcelino? Mama he is in Nigeria working
On a foreign ship and he has no way of coming,
his company is
Not allowing him to take his leave,
But his wife is here.
I don’t want her here
Who are you? Mama, I am Ric your son,
I am your favorite, don’t you
Remember me anymore?
Hold my hand; I am seeing some ghosts of your grandpa and grandma
And they hated me, hold my hand and hug me, I am cold, get me a blanket
And where is your papa? Mama, papa will be coming in a minute, but he
Is still drunk, but he loves you mama,
Who are you?
I do not know you; I was never a part of your dreams,
Leave me.
Mama, I am holding you, you are not cold you are warm,
Mama, just sleep
And she goes away just like that, sleeping on a travel, just like that,
And Betty cries,
Did she love her? Did he also love her?
when she died, some of us were there,
but i know she would have been happier left alone
to figure out
death herself
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Papa Was A Rollin' Stone
it was the third of september
that day I'll always remember, yes I will
'cause that was the day that my daddy died
never had a chance to see him, no
never heard nothing but bad things about him
mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth
mama just hung her head and said
chorus
"papa was a rollin' stone
wherever he laid his hat was his home
and when he died
all he left us was alone"
(repeat)
hey, mama, is it true what they say
that papa never worked aday in his life
some bad talk going around sayin'
papa had three outside children
and another wife
that ain't right
heard some talk about papa and his storefront
preachin'
talkin' about saving souls and all the time
leachin'
and dealing in dirt
stealin' in the name of the Lord
but mama she just said
chorus
say I heard my papa was a jack of all trades
is that what papa sent to an early grave?
folks say papa would beg, borrow or steal just
to pay his bills
hey, mama, folks say papa was never much in thinkin'
spent most of his time chasin' women and drinkin'
but mother, I'm depending on you
to tell me the truth
but my mama she just said
chorus (2x)
song performed by by George Michael
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Papa Was A Rolling Stone
Papa was a rollin' stone
It was the third of september
That day i'll always remember, yes I will
'cause that was the day that my daddy died
Never had a chance to see him, no
Never heard nothin' but bad things about him
Mama, i'm depending on you to tell me the truth
Mama just hung her head and said
Chorus
Papa was a rollin' stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died
All he left us was alone (repeat)
Hey, mama, is it true what they say
That papa never worked a day in his life
Some bad talk going around sayin'
Papa had there outside children
And another wife
That ain't right
Heard some talk about papa and his storefront
Preachin'
Talkin' about saving souls and all the time
Leaching
And dealing in dirt
Stealin' in the name of the lord
But mama she just said
Chorus
Say, I heard my papa was a jack of all trades
Is that what sent papa to an early grave?
Folks say papa would beg, borrow or steal just
To pay his bills.
Hey, mama, folks say papa was never much on thinkin'
Spent most of his time chansin' women and drinkin'
But mother, i'm depending on you to tell me the
Truth
But my mama she just said
Chorus(2x)
song performed by by George Michael
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What Do I Know About Beauty?
What do I know about beauty?
said the bum
I don't see beauty where I come from.
I've been lookin'
all over the place
but I can't see it,
not even a trace.
Is it beauty when you're poor?
Then don't give me anymore.
Is it beauty when you're cold?
Then it's beauty I behold.
Is it beauty when you're in pain?
Then take it back. Don't let it remain.
My beauty was taken from me
the minute I turned age three.
My mama died.
My Papa cried.
My Papa died
and then I cried.
What do I know about beauty?
cried the bum.
It must be around
'cause I hear children hum
as they pass me by
on the bench where I lie.
I wonder when I lie and see the sky
if that's where it is?
Then let me die.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Morningside
Written by: neil diamond
Morningside
The old man died
And no one cried
They simply turned away
And when he died
He left a table made of nails and pride
And with his hands he carved these words inside
For my children
Morning light
Morning bright
I spent the night
With dreams that make you weep
Morning time
Wash away the sadness from these eyes of mine
For I recall the words the old man signed
For my children
And the legs were shaped with his hands
And the top made of oaken wood
And the children sat around this table
Touched with their laughter
Ah, and that was good
Morningside
An old man died
And no one cried
He surely died alone
And truth is sad
For not a child would claim the gift he had
The words he carved became his epitath
For my children
song performed by by Neil Diamond
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So You Died
so you died!
when i heard,
i cried.
you were apple
of my eyes,
love of my life.
when you
left my side
i died.
i died
when you died.
poem by Efe Benjamin
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If i Died Today
If idied today i would cry
i would cry for all the time i spent being sad
when i could have been smiling
if i died today i would weep
i would weep for all the love i never felt
when i was alive
If i died today i would be sad
sad that i never really got to feel special,
loved and cared for
If i died today it would break my heart
break my heart for all the times i have cried,
cried because i was in pain
if i died today i would be regretful
regretful for all for all the time wasted on vanity
and worrying what other people will think of me
if i died today i would forgive myself
forgive myself for being my best enemy
forgive myself for hating me so much
if i died today i would be devasted
devasted that i never really got to appreciate,
appreciate myself
if i died today i would feel lost because,
i have never really known
or found myself
if i died today i would miss me
i would miss me because i forgot all about mealong time ago
if i died to day i would cry for me.
poem by Elizabeth Jacqueline Mpanga
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Vietnam
The runway rushed up at me, I felt the wheels touch down
Stood out on the blacktop, and took a taxi into town
Got off down on Main Street, to see what I recognized
All I seen was strange faces, watching a stranger passin' by
Vietnam, Vietnam, I don't man
Back in Vietnam
Went for my job back at the factory, down at the factory
The only thing I heard from the man at the desk
Is, "Son, understand if it was up to me"
'bout half the town's out of work
Ain't nothin' for you here
From the assembly line to the front-line
But I guess you didn't hear"
You died in Vietnam, you died in Vietnam
Now don't you understand, you died in Vietnam
Drive down my neighborhood
See the flags out on the porch
So I went to see my old baby
Down at First and Grand
Her mama told me she ran off
With a singer in a rock 'n' roll band
????
I can see me passin' by
You died in Vietnam, you died in Vietnam
Boy, don't you understand, you died in Vietnam
The runway rushed up at me, I felt the wheels hit down
I stood out on the blacktop, and took a taxi into town
Got off down on Main Street, to see what I could see
All I seen was strangers, watchin' a stranger pass by
And that stranger was me
Vietnam, Vietnam, oh-no man
Vietnam
Went to see my baby, down on First and Grand
To tell her I'd come home from away in Vietnam
Her mama came to the door and told me
Her mama told me she ran away
With a singer in a rock 'n' roll band
She said, "I'm sorry son, but we understand"
You died in Vietnam, you died in Vietnam
Now don't you understand, you died in Vietnam
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Killer/papa Was A Rollin Stone
So you want to be free
To live your life the way you wanna be
Will you give if we cry
Will we live or will we die
Tainted hearts heal with time
Shoot bad love so we can
Stop the bleeding
Solitary brother,
Is there still a part of you that wants to live?
Solitary sister,
Is there still a part of you that wants to give?
Solitary brother,
Is there still a part of you that wants to live?
Solitary sister,
Is there still a part of you that wants to give?
If we try to live our lives
The way we wanna be
Solitary brother,
Is there still a part of you that wants to live?
Solitary sister,
Is there still a part of you that wants to give?
Solitary brother,
Is there still a part of you that wants to live?
Solitary sister,
Is there still a part of you that wants to give?
Racism in future kins can only lead to no good
And besides, all our sons and daughters already
Know how that feels
(adam tinley/henry samuel)
Was the third of september
That day Ill always remember, yes I will
cause that was the day that my daddy died
Never had a chance to see him, no
Never heard nothing but bad things about him
Mama, Im depending on you to tell me the truth
Mama just hung her head and said
Chorus
Papa was a rollin stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died
All he left us was alone
(repeat)
Hey, mama, is it true what they say
That papa never worked aday in his life
Some bad talk going around sayin
Papa had three outside children
And another wife
That aint right
Heard some talk about papa and his storefront
Preachin
Talkin about saving souls and all the time
Leachin
And dealing in dirt
Stealin in the name of the lord
But mama she just said
Chorus
Say I heard my papa was a jack of all trades
Is that what papa sent to an early grave?
Folks say papa would beg, borrow or steal just
To pay his bills
Hey, mama, folks say papa was never much in thinkin
Spent most of his time chasin women and drinkin
But mother, Im depending on you
To tell me the truth
But my mama she just said
Chorus (2x)
(norman whitfield/barrett strong)
song performed by by George Michael
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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(Was I) In Your Dreams
Was I in your dreams, I'd like to know.
Did I touch your hand and did it feel like snow?
Try to understand while I've got you on the phone.
Did I hurt you like I know I can?
Tell me why you'd ever wanna leave your lovin' man.
Try to understand, please try to understand.
Was I in your dreams, was I in your dreams?
This dreamer died when his dreamed died too.
But I don't really mind if I dream about you..
I can't say what any of that means.
Oh, was I in your dreams, late last night.
Did you hold pillow, did you squeeze me tight?
I just wanna make everything all right.
Was I in your dreams, was I in your dreams, was I
song performed by by Wilco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My dear Kitty
That day I found you
That day I became blue
The day I was balling
the day my heart was falling
That day you was leaving
Was my first day of grieving
That day you looked me in the eyes
Was the day I heard your cries
The day you died
Was the first time I cried
The day I had to bury you
It was the hardest thing to let go of you.
That day I screamed dont die
Was the day I left you lie....
That day the dog bite you
was the day I almost killed him
That day you died.
Was not the last day I cried
The day God had set for you
Was the day I will never forget who,
That day I let you out,
was the day I found out
How much I regret it,
For I must admit
I miss you sooo,
That Its jus to hard to show.
That day you died
Was not the first or last time I cried!
poem by Jade Smith
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If I Died Today
if i died today
what would you say
if i died today
what would you do
would you cry
because i left you alone
or would you hate me
because we are bound by blood
if i died today
would you kill yourself
because you failed as my gaurdian
if you died today
id weep black tears
and as my soul shattered
id wish to be with you again
in our other world
but if i died today
you would try to bring me bak
even if it killed you
but in the very end you would realize
all i wanted
was for you to live
and to protect my body
so that i may once again return.
poem by Jasmine Appelhaus
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About Mama and Papa on Those Crucial Times...
the last day was crucial
it was excruciating,
i saw papa kicked mama
and mama fell down the
path
she was moving out from home
she could not take him anymore
everything was over
practically, , ,
the dogs barked
hating papa
they perhaps thought
he was a total stranger in
his own house
and they do not recognize
him as their
master anymore...
i walked away from home
on that crucial day
i did not want to know
what happened after
i heard papa died in
all pain
you told me that there was
that inevitable conclusion
that papa never loved mama
despite their five children
and 50 years...
i never believed you
i decided never to believe you
i believed that face in the mirror
half is papa's
the other half is mama's
how can there be two of them in me
if they never really loved each other?
they were sick and tired
those were the reasons
they forgot
that was the cause...
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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I Honestly Love You, Some Notes
2 months ago
Had to say this again...
30 yrs ago I fell in love with a girl &
she with me.
We both had partners,
so nothing good
would've come from it.
I sang this to her -
we cried, kissed & parted.
We met once more at an office reunion
15 yrs later.
I was single,
she was with the same man,
but it didn't matter -
one look was all it took to know
that we'd made a mistake.
I found out last year
that she died suddenly
at home 5 yrs ago
she had breast
cancer.
I miss her. That's it.
I just miss her.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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9/11, And The Days After
how many died that day
at the World Trade Center?
how many died
in the field?
and how many have died...
how many young boys
sent off to war?
how many citizens of Iraq?
Afghanistan?
how many women and children?
how many deaths
does it take for
us to finally understand?
killing is wrong!
one death does not
justify another!
murder does not
heal wounds...
or bring back
loved ones.....
one decade later....
and we still dont understand
the value of life...
and therein lies
the cause for mourning,
and the sadness!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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When Bessie Died
If from your own the dimpled hands had slipped,
And ne'er would nestle in your palm again;
If the white feet into the grave had tripped--'
When Bessie died--
We braided the brown hair, and tied
It just as her own little hands
Had fastened back the silken strands
A thousand times-- the crimson bit
Of ribbon woven into it
That she had worn with childish pride--
Smoothed down the dainty bow-- and cried
When Bessie died.
When Bessie died--
We drew the nursery blinds aside,
And as the morning in the room
Burst like a primrose into bloom,
Her pet canary's cage we hung
Where she might hear him when he sung--
And yet not any note he tried,
Though she lay listening folded-eyed.
When Bessie died--
We writhed in prayer unsatisfied:
We begged of God, and He did smile
In silence on us all the while;
And we did see Him, through our tears,
Enfolding that fair form of hers,
She laughing back against His love
The kisses had nothing of--
And death to us He still denied,
When Bessie died--
When Bessie died.
poem by James Whitcomb Riley
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Wall of Tears
I've tried to talk about the nights
That I call... Just incredibly bad...
But every time... they feel as if...
I'm going stark ravening mad...
I held my buddy's hands.
As he breathed... His dying breathe...
Shaking... and
Scared to death...
It was like mosquito death!
Never had so much fear...
Anger...Blood...
And Strife...
Complete helpless-ness...as my buddy
Lost his life
Oh Please...God...
God...Won't you help him too?
But when you're in that Dark Hell!
Not even God...Can guide you!
It's hard today to live as one man...
I doubt... Anyone will ever understand!
He pleaded... Don't leave me behind!
That night...souls... tears... combined!
I didn't...
But as Jimmy lost his soul and died...
He died...
So did mine...
P.S.
I know...I know...It's hard to believe
It's been forty some years
But I cried so hard...
When when I read your name...
On that Wall Of Tears
And Jimmy... I'm trying hard to win!
So that God...Will let us meet again!
P.P.S.
That tin star that they gave!
Claiming I was so very brave...
I took it.. to Shoshone... and there...
I tossed it...into the Falls
Clinching that safety fence...
Just struggling... trying... to stand tall!
So I go there often to enjoy the view...
With those endless tears in my eyes...
Everyday...
I've remembered you...
Clyde Grant Bryson
poem by Clyde Bryson
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Today I Died Again
The human drum
Beats a rhythm of life
The clothes he wears
Date back to the war
He talks alot
Often to himself
She dont say much
Just cuts his hair
She cant remember
Before the heat
He cant remember
His wifes christian name
Paint me a picture
Towers in sand
America can fall
Today I died again
I died again
I died today
Today I died again
I died again
I died today
Back to a year
Back to a youth
Of men in church and drug cabarets
Is this the age
Of empires and dance
Oh what a world
Oh what a world
She cant remember
Before this heat
He cant remember
His wifes christian name
Paint me a picture
Bodies in sand
Presidents can fall
Today I died again
I died again
I died today
Today I died again
I died again
I died today
Lyrics : j kerr music : simple minds (c) emi publishing ltd reproduced without permission
song performed by by Simple Minds
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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