Drugging Life

because life moves like a drag
pendulum of grief and lament

nights are stillnoxed
days are pills of micardes
and oftener advil
lessens the volume of the
screams of pain

on oily oddities
the liver gets too fat
the ultrasound complains of
blindness to see
the maps of
maladies

aspirin keeps a painless
moment
blood thins to remove the
obstructions of the heart

the oxygen tank waits
the ambulance is ready to sound
its alarms
for an incoming police
of death to
execute the cardiac
arrest

and so the abusive creature
arrives
dead on arrival
the morgue keeps its cool
another number is
given
another cubicle is closed
some tears perhaps
but we all know it

it will only be for a while for soon
we will all be
back to feasting

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Pain Pills

I took too many pain pills
To see what it would do
I took too many pain pills
Now i'm thinking about you

I took too many pain pills
My body's shutting down
I took too many pain pills
I'm lying on the ground

I took too many pain pills
I'm wishing you were here
I took too many pain pills
My death is drawing near

I took too many pain pills
It's messing with my head
I took too many pain pills......

And I think i'm finnaly dead....

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Car Bomb

Cars and donkey carts, dust and noise, heat and mob
of humanity in a narrow street...Shoving and pushing
yet affable, of peoples who share a common bond.

A sharp flash that for a moment blinds the sun, then
the blast of an explosion, a shocked silence one can
hear a ticking clock, miles away.

Ambulance, police, screams and blood, when chaos
has abated, what’s left in the street are sandals that
belonged to those in the morgue...

poem by Oskar HansenReport problemRelated quotes
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Pills for Pain. Blood for hurt

How much can a person endure
Before realising pills make the pain stop
They numb all feeling and leave you cold
Cold and dead inside
Pills for pain blood for hurt

It trickles slowly out
The harder you push the faster the hurt escapes
How can a person hurt themselves
When all they do is hurt
When you hurt emotionally physically is easier
Pills for pain blood for hurt

To be nobody to no one
To be unloved and unknown
I am know by the pills
They know me
They make me a someone
Pills for pain blood for hurt

To have a heart broken
Shattered and screaming for less hurt
To feel so much love and the next day non
Pills for pain blood for hurt

Love leads to pain
Caring leads to hurt
Pills for pain
Blood for hurt
Nobody to save me

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Cancer Rising

Mind called the meeting with just Heart and Lungs attending:

Mind said:
'What is the problem? '
Heart said:
'I had been pumping as usual last week bringing Blood
back and I noticed that I was a two pints short from the usual flow.'

Lungs said:
'I was pumping oxygen and I noticed it as well. There was a shortage, not enough blood was coming back.'

'So, ' Heart said 'I sent some white blood cells down to the liver to investigate.'
'And, ' Mind said.

'Well, Crystal came back, she is the While Blood cell leader and she said that 'we definitely have problem down there. We have two problems.' she said.

'And? ' Mind said.

'Well first Crystal reported she found a group of cells had all gotten together, just outside the liver and had started to grow out of control, so out of control that they blocked all of the blood flow to the liver such that less blood was getting to Liver and therefore, Liver couldn't do it's job.

'What happened then? ' Mind said.

'Crystal asked who was in charge and a man stepped up and said 'I am.
'His name was CC Crystal told me.'

'So what did this CC have to say for himself? ' Mind said

'He said that since he and his cell friends were pumping enzymes blood and other purfiers to Liver that they wanted to be paid.
Other cells joined in' CC said.
'And soon there were thousands and millions of them clamoring to be paid before they would spend time pumping blood.' Crystal said.

'Liver didn't know what to do.
But, Crystal said:
The more cells that joined CC's group the more of them that had to be paid such that the price kept going up and up and less and less blood was actually being pumped.

'Liver started to turn yellow, ' Crystal said.
'That won't do.' Mind said.

'Let's go down and have a talk with Mr. CC.' Mind said.

They all retired from the Brain and took the Blood stream down to the Liver which was looking pale and yellow indeed.

'Hi, ' Mind said, 'you don't look well.'
'Well, ' Liver said, 'I am not well. Look around me.

Mind looked around and saw cells dying in the area around the valves which fed blood to Liver.
'My God, 'Mind said, 'this is horrible.'

Suddenly off to the side he saw green blood cells, enormous in size coming toward the group.

'My God, ' mind repeated is that them.'

'Yes, ' Liver, said, 'they are enormous since they get most of the blood and then they want to sell it back to me at prices I cannot afford.
We have never charged for blood before Mind.'

'No, Liver, we have never charged for blood before.' Mind said.

Well, they are now, ' Liver said 'and here comes their leader CC.'
'What does CC stand for.' Mind inquired.

'Cancer Capitalist I think, ' Liver said.

'This won't do.' Mind said, 'at this rate and doing this doesn't he understand that the entire body will be dead in days? The germs and viruses will flood the entire system and Mr. CC will be dead along with the rest of us here in the body.'
'Obviously, 'Liver said 'he is not that smart.'

'We want our money, ' CC said approaching without greeting anyone 'and we want it now, ' ignoring MInd, Crystal, Heart and Lungs.

'Everyday, ' CC said we grow larger and have more and more need of more and more blood.'

Mind said 'CC, is that your name? '
'Yes, ' CC said, 'that is my name Mind.
And just before you start to lecture me, hear this. You mind need blood too and if never reaches Heart and Lungs you will suffer if you defy us.
We want our money. Pay up'.
'Well Mr. CC you seem like a smart fellow. Do you not realize that if we all die here, you will die as well.'

'Maybe, ' CC said 'but we have a plan to create a wall of cells around ourselves and survive and find another body to infect. We will live on, '

'I see, ' said Mind, 'you plan to take over the world one body at a time?

'One body at a time.' CC repeated.

Mind Heart, Lung and Crystal paused and then Mind said:
'Liver lets go over here and talk private.
Mr. CC we will get back to you in a second.'

To be continued

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The final act

Screeching screams.
Sirens blaring out.
Someone knows just what I'm trying to do.
But the pills I alreay swallowed.
It was with grate ease.

Then comes the whirlwind of a spin.
And all your head will do is spin.
You know just what you want.
You want death not life.
You just want a means to an end.

But some fall finds out.
Ambulance and police arrive.
Knocking at the door.
Bludy idiots think I'll answer the thing.
Its the final act I want my death.

They knock once more.
I hope they've gone away.
Next I no the door flys through.
In the they come.
Its not oo late.
Off to the hospital she goes.
It was to be final act
But this time it wasnt to be

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The Breaking Of The Dam

silence is the dam,
grief rains nights
lament screams
the dam breaks out
unable to hold
further the weight
of grief

those that listen
and do not do anything
down the plains
must now know what is
extreme pain
what is sorrow
what is unbearable

your flood shall take
some of those who had always
been insensitive.....

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A Pastoral

Just as the sun was setting
Back of the Western hills
Grandfather stood by the window
Eating the last of his pills.

And Grandmother, by the cupboard,
Knitting, heard him say:
'I ought to have went to the village
To fetch some more pills today.'

Then Grandmother snuffled a teardrop
And said. 'It is jest like I suz
T’ th’ parson—Grandfather’s liver
Ain’t what it used to was:

'It’s gittin’ torpid and dormant,
It don’t function like of old,
And even them pills he swallers
Don’t seem no more t’ catch hold;

'They used to grab it and shake it
And joggle it up and down
And turn dear Grandfather yaller
Except when they turned him brown;

'I remember when we was married
His liver was lively and gay,
A kickin’ an’ rippin’ an’ givin’
Dear Ezry new pains ev’ry day;

'It used to turn clear over backwards
An’ palpitate wuss’n a pump
An’ give him the janders and yallers
An’ bounce around thumpty-thump;

'But now it is torpid and dormant
And painless and quiet and cold;
Ah, me! all’s so peaceful an’ quiet
Since Grandfather’s liver ’s grown old!

Then Grandmother wiped a new teardrop
And sighed: 'It is just like I suz
T’ th’ parson: Grandfather’s liver
Ain’t what it used to was.'

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After Nights

I've hated to talk about it,
but there has been so many after nights.
I've needed to work out, one more story.

Trying to end, my often very sad's.
Another one, of my, the most incredibly bad's!

My heart, was shaking as I knelt on the ground.
My hands, were pressing his wounds.
Pressing hard, prayng, deeper and deeper.
Begging God, Help, Shouting, Holding back the Grim Reaper

Like his mother, my shaking hands
With a sobbing, torn chest
Held him tightly to my breast
Gently wiped the blood from his face and lips
I watched, and felt his soul, escaped my grip.
Raining tears washed the blood from his face.
Even now, I've often wished that God.
Would've let me take his place!

I couldn't bare to see my brother die!
The shouting of my heart, screaming why? God. Why?
Please! God! Why....?
I felt my buddies tears, they were hugging our backs.
Even though, I knew he was dead.
God,
I held him close, I kissed his head.
Like a mother with hurt child.
I sat, rocking him in the mud.
Filling a rice paddy with tears, and blood.

So now after all these years.
I've tried to tell, my life story. Of so many tears.
I've had enough, to make rice paddies flood?
My tears as I've relived, nights, after nights.
How I tried. To stop. My buddies blood
So, just, how, many tears, does it take to make a rice paddy flood?
I've seen that much, and his filled it with blood.

So when you read this, try to understand.
I'm doing the best that I can.
I fight every day the things that make me so sad.
But it helps to talk about it, and the many after nights!
The days and days, the nights after nights.
I've called my life stories, just incredibly bad...........

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Disingenuousness

Here lies another box for nature,
Carbon ready;
Black to eyes down here,
Where death is at its job.

Up there you’ll hear a rhythmic sob
Or two from living yet-to-dies –
A humming lacrimoso –
It all but cleans the eyes:

Forget it –
The dismal show of grief –
Life is only chemistry –
Our stay is only brief.
It’s we who hype it up!

Diaphragms jerk again;
The jet monotone of hearses
Feeds the disingenuousness
Of undertakers –
They seem to stare at something up ahead –
For them, it’s in the blood,
To taxi off the dead.

Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2011


The March of Death

Death death death death death death death death death death death

Death death death death death death death death death death death

Death death death death death death death death death death death

Death death death death death death death death death death death

Death death death death death death death death death death death

Death death death death death death death death death death death

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Aspirin Damage

I get these killer headaches
I get one everyday
I wake up with a migraine
Since you ran away
Got a load of tension
Burnin' up my neck
Something is wrong with my suspension
So pass those tablets to this wreck
Aspirin damage, Aspirin damage
Kills the pain, destroys the brain
No one told me 'bout Aspirin damage
Sometimes I find myself shakin'
From the medication taken
Oh yeah.
I balance my Excedrin
And Anacins in stacks
I'm a pain reliever junkie
I got a Bayer on my back.
I went to see the doctor
He walked me down the hall
Said "Strip down 'til you're naked
Your suit, your tie and all."
Aspirin damage, Aspirin damage
Kills the pain, destroys the brain
Aspirin damage, my disadvantage
Sometimes I find myself shakin'
From the medication taken
Oh yeah.
Aspirin damage, Aspirin damage
Kills the pain, destroys the brain
No one told me 'bout Aspirin damage
Sometimes I find myself shakin'
From the medication taken
Oh yeah

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The Death of Silence

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When even the soundless creature
Leave an echo
When the quiet evening sky
Speaks more volume 

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When the darkness of night
Is calmed by the song of stars
When this cruel and frightening world
Is cheered by the joy of life

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When the trees swaying their branches
Whispering the news from afar 
When the stone awaken to tell the story
And no more secret remains hidden

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When the wind fills the void
And noises the ears
When the sunshine touches the skin
And screams in eyes

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When you could taste the heart
Inside the food you eat
When you could understand 
The meaning the breath that taken

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When smile is enough
To erase the rotten doubt 
When love is abundant
To wash the bitter pain

Let's celebrate the day
The death of silence
When the soul finds its freedom
And not chained in the grief of body
When the call is passing
Through the memory and time

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Depression Is A Disease

Depression is a disease like that of HIV.
It starts as something small,
Something that you can control.
If you never tell?
If no one ever sees?
If no one ever knows?
If no one ever tells?
The minute hand is ticking.
Your time is being counted.
Then all of a sudden
It hit you from nowhere.
Just like HIV becomes aids
As the time passes.
Depression,
Depression soon becomes
A suicidal tragedy.
It spreads
It spreads
You hear the sounds
Of screams for help.
Taste the stories in the tears
Able to see how much pain
There is inside
By the number of scars,
The amount of blood,
And how deep the cuts are.
The answers are their
But your eyes are closed
Your heart is closed
Your mind is in denial.

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The days went through far too many faces

the days went through far too many faces
and all the cards dealt in a game of prey
slipped through the hands
like leaves through the boughs
to reach the bottom pit
and a pendulum sound

the houses went through far too many doors
and closed their windowed eyes ushered stricken blue
a twin handful of earth ancestor I found
to reach the bottom pit
and a pendulum sound

the murders took place in the streets of devil
that spoke in a language foreign known to none
detected on a track of an evolution crown
to reach the bottom pit
and the pendulum sound

an we drank our wines not knowing their names
floated in the casks down the poisoned rivers
built ourselves in walls air lost in the ground
to reach the bottom pit
and the pendulum sound

Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe

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Suicidal Thoughts

I rock back and forth as
momentum rushes through me
so many options so many chooses
oh the pleasure of death
how to go how to go
painless but there is no joy in that
pain filled oh yes feel the cord
around my neck tighten up
as i get ready to pop
or burn in the infinite flames of hell
yea and feel pain like nothing before
to escape this world
is my goal
no longer do i hang on
so i'll turn my back to the angel of death
this is my kill you don't get to have this one
i'll take the pleasure for myself
i'll end my own life whiles you watch
knowing this one escaped you
hahaha
i laugh at you for this one was to great for you
as my eyes close up
i feel the life slow draining
out of this carcass
tell me do you wanna feel my joy
ohhh such great joy
losing it as i laugh insanely
so many options to try
so many ways to go
its a pleasure i get to experience
ohhh six slips yea on each risk
pull the trigger and get the pleasure
but to quick
dismemberment, .. slow and pain filled yea
you will love it,
over dose sit and lose it
as i feel all the pain from before
in this one little bottle of pills
so marvelous so joyful
which way to go
hahahahahah
which way to go

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Street Fighting

Timeless pain and,
painless time were two colors.
On the canvas,
I was spreading, to open the heart.
Non-being touching the vast emptiness.
Life on the moment, played the abstract music.
Was it the fear of blindness?

Indecipherable handwriting creates puzzles,
my laments cannot read.
Truth marches on my bones,
dead bodies do not count.
The interrupted meanings
are taking their tolls.
On the track,
blueprints are fluttering.

Whom do we complain?
Foliage was without fruits
and roots were dying.
And land smelled of hurts,
sweat and tears.
Unbroken oaths and
tools had disappeared.
And street fighting
had overwhelmed the crescent moon.

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Kick to the Chest

My heart decided to call in sick today
It said it was a little broken, with a footprint shaped bruise on it
The liver inside me is ready to quit
If I keep drinking like this
My brain cant figure out what’s causing this pain
Loves the suspect
And these emotions are accused of being accomplices
So I went to the doctor
He said ill be okay and just to take these pills
Clear my head of that girl hopefully the pain will go away
A couple days went by
Everything was going okay
I saw her smile from a distance
Her eyes caught mine
It felt like a kick to the chest
Then my heart decided to call in sick again

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Tears Of Rage

We carried you in our arms
On independence day,
And now youd throw us all aside
And put us on our way.
Oh what dear daughter neath the sun
Would treat a father so,
To wait upon him hand and foot
And always tell him, no?
Tears of rage, tears of grief,
Why must I always be the thief?
Come to me now, you know
Were so alone
And life is brief.
We pointed out the way to go
And scratched your name in sand,
Though you just thought it was nothing more
Than a place for you to stand.
Now, I want you to know that while we watched,
You discover there was no one true.
Most evrybody really thought
It was a childish thing to do.
Tears of rage, tears of grief,
Must I always be the thief?
Come to me now, you know
Were so low
And life is brief.
It was all very painless
When you went out to receive
All that false instruction
Which we never could believe.
And now the heart is filled with gold
As if it was a purse.
But, oh, what kind of love is this
Which goes from bad to worse?
Tears of rage, tears of grief,
Must I always be the thief?
Come to me now, you know
Were so low
And life is brief.

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The Dead Girl

At first I didn’t see her, .

There, half hidden in the leaves.

In the early morning darkness

Nothings ever what it seems.

The leaves were wet and sticky

but not with morning dew.

The smell of blood assaulted me

Now what was I to do?

She must have been a jogger

on an early morning run.

-Was she the victim of a killer

or dead from a “Hit and run”?

Was someone, somewhere worried?

That she wasn’t back on time

I know that I would go insane

Were she a child of mine.

I checked around to see if

There were clues upon the ground..

Just then a squad car passed by-

Frantically, I waved them down.

I couldn’t help the Cops much

-I had driven my wife to the train..

I’d dropped off my car for service

My mechanic will say the same.

I gave the cops my name and number

An ambulance was called.

They were told they need not hurry

-Just a removal to the morgue.

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No Hope Comes My Way

No hope comes my way
No visage shows itself to me

That death will come one day is definite
Then why does sleep evade me all night?

I used to laugh at the state of my heart
Now no one thing brings a smile

Though I know the reward of religious devotion
My attention does not settle in that direction

It is for these reasons that I am quiet
If not, would I not converse with you?

Why should I not remember you?
Even if you cannot hear my lament

You don't see the anguish in my heart
O healer, the scent of my pain eludes you

I am now at that point
That even I don't know myself

I die in the hope of dying
Death arrives and then never arrives

How will you face Mecca, Ghalib
When shame doesn't come to you

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Suicide With No Sound

Where are you.
When I'm down.
When I'm ready to drown.
Suicide with no sound.
A pound in the chest.
A lump in the throat.
the hands twitch.
Life is a cinch.
What would be missed.
Just more emptiness.

Where are you?
When I'm down.
When I'm ready to drown.
Suicide with no sound.
I found my head.
Its a mess.
Somethings are so hard to digest.
Swallowing it all.
Theirs another phone call.
No one answers.
They're already long gone.
Death devastates.
Give him some air for hes on the brink of despair.

Where are you?
When I'm down.
When I'm ready to drown.
Suicide with no sound.
The headache is raging.
The hearts racing.
The mind is pacing.
Going back and forth. should I do it.
What would happen to all those I love.
Would I be denied the heaven above.
A push then shove. So close.
Life altering to most.

Where are you?
When I'm down, when I'm ready to drown.
Suicide with no sound.
Anger drys the tears.
All the pain disappears.
The body goes numb.
And all the fears are done.
The battle is over before it can be won.

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