Medical Statistics
A wild snowstorm was raging in the city.
It was dark and the streets were deserted.
A savage wind hooted and shook the trees.
It blew the snow into her eyes.
Bundled up in winter clothes
Penny sped up the pace of her steps,
Hurrying to reach the safety of home.
The long ribbon of her red scarf
Flew and flopped in the roaring gale.
The roads were slippery and treacherous.
At a wrong step she stumbled and fell.
She landed with her outstretched hands
On the concrete sidewalk,
Hitting hard the icy surface.
In the hospital an orthopedic surgeon
Examined the x-rays. He diagnosed
A distal radius and ulna fracture
In the left forearm.
Penny broke her wrist. The doctor pulled
And tugged her bones to improve
The anatomical alignment of the broken ends
Trying to restore them to their natural position.
Then he immobilized the hand
With a plaster cast. It took about six weeks
For the broken bones to heal.
However, the orthopedist did not do
An outstanding job.
The fractured bone pieces had knitted
Rather poorly. The wrist looked
Deformed and lost part of its flexibility
Of movement.
The surgeon suggested
Reconstructive wrist operation.
“And what is the statistical risk
Of this operation? ” Penny asked.
“Oh, it is very small”, the doctor said.
“The success rate of this sort of
Corrective Osteotomy surgery
For post-traumatic wrist deformity
Is around 97 percent.
So, there is only a 3 percent chance
Of serious complications,
Such as median nerve paralysis.”
“But can you guarantee, doctor,
That I will not be included
In that small 3 percent group? ”
“No, I cannot guarantee that”, the doctor said.
poem by Paul Hartal

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Had Surgery
The small throat, the larger stomach, all this concern
With the wrong certain structure so made of me.
The surgeon has a guile, a patience too dear, but I
Am patient, a patient of well-being so well cooked.
The small throat has been enlarged and the stomach enticed
To cook me the food of luxury, the plastic relish of society.
This religion I follow of a surgeon in surgery shall last
For a life-time, forming more years onto my life tonight.
A doctor is blessed for the guilt he does not own,
A doctor planned me a retreat from life, and the time.
poem by Naveed Akram

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Music Lost and Found Again
Music is a part of me
Music is my soul
Music is my language
Music is how I talk
Then I hurt my wrist so bad
That I could not talk
The pain was so severe
I thought all was lost
I had to stop making music because of the pain
I started to lose hope of ever playing again
I started to cry
I felt like I was losing part of my life
But a light shown in the darkness of night
Hope aroused to help me fight
A doctor in a white coat
Showed me how to cope
With his help, I am treating the pain
The pain in my wrist is slowing going a way
I stopped crying a short time ago
For now I have the tiniest of hope
I may be able to make music again
If the pain keeps going away
Now I do not feel like I’ll shatter like glass
If not I will kick the doctor in the ass.
-Michelle Stanek
poem by Michelle Stanek

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Doctor, Doctor
Doctor, theres something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet
My eyesights getting dimmer, I cant see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, Im glad,
Ive got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today Ive got the mumps
And tomorrow Ill catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And Im shrinking last week I was five foot four
Ive been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
Its about to pick on me, Ive still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox Id get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think its time that I made out my will?
Ill leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts dont tell me, Im too ill.
song performed by by Who

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He asked me if I'd take a penny for my thoughts.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
and I told him the things on my mind.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
I had thought then I'd be paid in kind.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
and the closest friends we came to be.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
I thought then the one he cared for, was me.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
now rich with my thoughts he was.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
I thought his reason was more than 'just because'.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
he's made me rich with a broken heart.
A penny for your thoughts he asked,
now my life has a broken start.
Illusions In G Major
On the seven seas there was aphantom ship acoming,
Shinin in the dead of night,
I heard the crew a hummin
Tunes that sounded like the rolling stones and leonard cohen.
But they didnt know the words,
So I assumed that they was foreign.
Chorus
But I heard them just the same doctor let me teach em,
I just wanna please em, doctor let me teach em.
I looked up in the sky there was a phantom plane a comin,
Shinin in the dead of night,
I heard the pilot saying,
Poems that were written by john keats and robert browning.
But he didnt know the words so,
I suppose that it was nothing.
Chorus
But I heard them just the same doctor let me teach em,
I just wanna please em, doctor let me teach em.
Doctor please believe me, I know you wont decieve me,
But do these things Im seein, have any hidden meaning.
Its all good entertainment and it doesnt cost a penny.
So please doc, let me teach em, if I could only reach em.
Chorus
But I heard them just the same doctor let me teach em,
I just wanna please em, doctor let me teach em.
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bleeding Wrist
Another time has come
For me to cut my wrist again
You left me in the dust
Said I was cheating
But I never was
You had my only heart and
You broke it again
My wrist are bleeding because of you
You broke me down until I was nothing
More than a memory of your Raping Dream
Caught in the middle
Of a terrible nightmare
Bleeding with broken pain
Caught inside this fog of fear
Listening to your voice
Which was once soothing to me
Time and time again is but
Just now a memory
Of you and the warmth of your hands
Pain and pain
Of agony once again
Bleeding wrist of concurrent pain
Life is for the living. I was a little scared before surgery 'cause of the release you sign that says there's always a very small percent chance that you'll die during the operation.
quote by Billy West

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes

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Ode To My Penny
Ode to my penny
That shiny little thing
Not much of value
Oh, but wait, stop and think
Put that old penny
In a little glass jar
Save it for a day
When happy thoughts are far
Shake the little jar
And hear the small jingle
But that little bell
Can't always be single
When penny has friends
This are better
What I mean to say;
Is Penny's quite clever
Do you see it now?
Penny is always 'round
When your feeling down
Penny's here, so be proud
He pulls you out of life's dark cloud
And puts you in light's bright crowd
Ode to my penny
Whose always there
Even when
No one else seems to care.
poem by Jordyn Averitte

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I questioned her further, and eventually got to talk to her doctor. And her doctor sort of shook his head and he said, 'I have examined her for throat cancer at least 15 times in the past few years.
quote by James Randi

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Wrist Watch Man
He is marching dusty highways and he's riding bitter trails,
His eyes are clear and shining and his muscles hard as nails.
He is wearing Yankee khaki and a healthy coat of tan,
And the chap that we are backing is the Wrist Watch Man.
He's no parlour dude, a-prancing, he's no puny pacifist,
And it's not for affectation there's a watch upon his wrist.
He's a fine two-fisted scrapper, he is pure American,
And the backbone of the nation is the Wrist Watch Man.
He is marching with a rifle, he is digging in a trench,
He is swapping English phrases with a poilu for his French;
You will find him in the navy doing anything he can,
For at every post of duty is the Wrist Watch Man.
Oh, the time was that we chuckled at the soft and flabby chap
Who wore a little wrist watch that was fastened with a strap.
But the chuckles all have vanished, and with glory now we scan
The courage and the splendor of the Wrist Watch Man.
He is not the man we laughed at, not the one who won our jeers,
He's the man that we are proud of, he's the man that owns our cheers;
He's the finest of the finest, he's the bravest of the clan,
And I pray for God's protection for our Wrist Watch Man.
poem by Edgar Albert Guest

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Doctor Doctor
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat
song performed by by Ufo

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor My Eyes
Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long
'Cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams
People go just where they will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it's later than it seems
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
I hear their cries
Just say if it's too late for me
Is it too late
Is it too late for me
Tell me doctor
Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the price for having learned how not to cry
song performed by by Wilson Phillips

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady & The Doctor
The lady keeps the doctor in a place inside her pocket
The circle made her circle like a wheel
The doctor gives a strange love, but the lady she dont knock it
Shes glad to get a piece of anything
Because the lady needs the medicine ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Doctor needs the lady to see
The doctor keeps the lady in a page in a book
On the history of communicable diseases
The ladys been to school, she lets the doctor play it cool.
He writes the script, she follows his lead.
cause the doctor writes love story so fine
The ladys learned to read between the lines
Sometime
The doctor, he takes housecalls where he visits the animals
In their stalls, shoots them full of juice and then goes home.
The lady hits the supermarket where she rides the aisles in a shopping cart
till she feels shes played enough of the part to set by ooh,
The lady feels its enough to just be good.
But the doctor has his need to be understood.
The doctor feels hes so abused and the lady feels shes so unused
And demands the doctor tends her daily parts.
Ooh, but the doctor just cant do it because so long ago the lady
Blew it, theyre too old now to make another start.
The lady feels the doctors made of stone.
The doctor heart, it just aint fond of ? home?
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Penny Brings Melodie To Life
Penny with her sewing flair,
sews Melodie doll and yarns her hair.
Penny makes Melodie into a small doll,
once Melodie's alive the two have a ball.
Melodie writes Penny once in awhile,
she even visited her in the hospital.
Melodie had to make sure Penny was alright,
in fact Penny told the nurse, where is Suzy tonight?
Right then Melodie, Razel and me soon arrived,
to sit by friend Penny's dear old side.
Now Penny gets healthy and recovers real soon,
she enjoys her grandchildren and her new life too.
Thank you Penny for all your generosity,
if it wasn't for you, the world would not have Melodie.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on February 14,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise

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Bad Habits & Infections
Come to me like Im the doctor
Say you need someone to talk ta
You want advice go ask your mother
One bad turn deserves another
cause Ive been cursed with your infection
Makin my head hurt makin my eyes burn
Youve taken me in the wrong direction
And left me there with no protection
Bad habits can be cured by cutting
Them out
Infections can be cured by cutting
Them out
Maybe youll find a friend up in the
Rainbow room
If you can dodge the drinks that
Theyve been throwing at you
Anyway, your boyfriend should be
Coming home soon
Then you can hide your life away
Bad habits can be cured by cutting
Them out
Infections can be cured by cutting
Them out
Come to me like Im the doctor
Come to me like Im the doctor
Come to me like Im the doctor
I am the doctor
I am the doctor
song performed by by Hall & Oates

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor My Eyes
Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long
cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
Ive been waiting to awaken from these dreams
People go just where there will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That its later than it seems
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
I hear their cries
Just say if its too late for me
Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry
song performed by by Jackson Browne

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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