Absolute Irony
'The universe
is a mysterious place',
the poet said.
'There might exist
other worlds wherein
the laws of nature
are different from ours.'
'No', the engineer said,
'in a vacuum
light travels at the speed
of 300,000 km per second
and nothing can move
faster than that.'
'Oh, absolute claims
are always
absolutely wrong',
the turtle said.
'But since this is
an absolute claim
it ought to be
wrong, too',
the engineer objected.
'Yes',
agreed the turtle,
'yet in being wrong
it is also
absolutely right.'
poem by Paul Hartal
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Related quotes
Fundamental of Liar Chapter XCVIII: Absolutely Relative
Expensive is absolute, cheap is relative
Far is absolute, near is relative
Ugly is absolute, beauty is relative
Weird is absolute, crazy is relative
Stubborn is absolute, brave is relative
Stupid is absolute, smart is relative
Weak is absolute, strong is relative
Old is absolute, mature is relative
Lose is absolute, win is relative
Rich is absolute, poor is relative
Sad is absolute, happy is relative
Misfortune is absolute, lucky is relative
Safe is absolute, fear is relative
Love is absolute, hate is relative
Important is absolute, forgotten is relative
Easy is absolute, difficult is relative
Wrong is absolute, right is relative
Bad is absolute, good is relative
Lie is absolute, truth is relative
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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My Turtle Use to Rush!
You taught my turtle how to walk on a leash.
When you babysat my turtle.
But now my turtle's mood,
Has become distant and cranky.
My beloved turtle now gives me shifty looks.
And I know with me it's angry.
Since the babysitter I picked and booked.
When my turtle use to hear me turn the key,
At the front door.
My turtle use to rush to me.
But no more!
You've got my turtle trained to believe,
It needs a leash...
To eat with me Chinese.
And I use to love how my turtle ate Wonton.
But from within its shell...
All it does is just peek on.
When my turtle use to hear me turn the key,
At the front door.
My turtle use to rush to me.
But no more!
My turtle use to rush!
But!
No,
More!
My turtle use to rush!
But!
No,
More!
My turtle use to rush!
But!
No,
More to me.
My turtle use to rush!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Absolute Zero
Can we begin at the end?
To Save Some time
Bags and our War Planes are Gathered
The Clock is ticking you have no authority
Float like a dead man down the river
And there are no streets in this air.....
Etcetera is my worst enemy
Its wrong and I know
And I will go
To the Big Hand of the God Damned
The Middle Ground is Absolute Zero
What Can be found at Absolute Zero?
Can We Begin at the end?
To Save some time
Etcetera is my worst enemy
Its wrong and I know
And I will go
To the big hand of the God Damned
The Big Hand of the Small Man
The Middle Gorund is Absolute Zero
What can be found at Absolute Zero?
A Happy End is Absolute Zero
Nobody Wins at absolute Zero......
What's That?
Nothing
What's That?
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
song performed by by Faith No More
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Absolute Beginners
Ive nothing much to offer
Theres nothing much to take
Im an absolute beginner
And Im absolutely sane
As long as were together
The rest can go to hell
I absolutely love you
But were absolute beginners
With eyes completely open
But nervous all the same
If our love song
Could fly over mountains
Could laugh at the ocean/sail over heartaches second time
Just like the films
Theres no reason
To feel all the hard times
To lay down the hard lines
Its absolutely true
Nothing much could happen
Nothing we cant shake
Oh were absolute beginners
With nothing much at stake
As long as youre still smiling
Theres nothing more I need
I absolutely love you
But were absolute beginners
But if my love is your love
Were certain to succeed
If our love song
Could fly over mountains
Could laugh at the ocean/sail over heartaches second time
Just like the films
Theres no reason
To feel all the hard times
To lay down the hard lines
Its absolutely true
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Human Beings
Uncle Dan said
'now listen
There's right and there's wrong
and there two kinds of people:
those that can't be trusted to be right
and those that cannot be trusted with being wrong.
Take out the microscope and lets' see
what that person does when they
have you in the wrong.
If they treat you like you ain't' human
anymore
then that is the face of evil.
I worry more about those who
think they's absolutely right tho
than those that know's they's wrong.
Find out who is convinced they's
absolutely right about anything
and run the other way
that is a dangerous woman,
or man.
Now if you find a person who
sees that you is wrong and
don't judge.
That is a human being.
that includes you judging others
too.
Avoid people trying to prove
they is right
sure sign that they is wrong.
Avoid the person constantly
talking about how they have
been wronged
just means they are waiting their
change to get even on somebody
anybody
anybody close will do.
Talk to people who say
I may be right or I may be wrong
but proving right or wrong is not important
only how you treat people and yourself
inside
is important.
Leave the rest.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Maybe, Maybe
(mags)
Maybe you were joking
When you said tath you were walking out on me
Maybe, maybe
Maybe I was joking
When I said that I was running out on you
Maybe, maybe
I could be wrong, so wrong
I could be wrong, so wrong
Yes, I could be wrong
I dont know, but its been said
Decisions travel far from heart to head
Maybe, maybe
Maybe it was over
When you chuked me out the rover at full speed
Maybe, maybe
I could be wrong, so wrong
I could be wrong, so wrong
Yes, I could be so wrong
song performed by by A-Ha
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.
quote by Eric Hoffer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
quote by Harry Shearer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Whats Really Goin Wrong
Hahahah, (here it goes)
Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to tonights presentation,
Its brought to you by us,
And its non-fiction
Everybody saw
The last movie we made,
And this one called whats really goin wrong
What is really, what is really goin wrong
Well what is really, what is really goin wrong
Sublime in the place livin up chickens creation
In 1996 to make you buy this cinematation,
This is what they, agree to show to you
Its not really the truth
But youll believe it through and through
What is really, what is really goin wrong
What is really, what is really goin wrong
(space aliens sounds)
What is really, what is really goin wrong
What is really goin wrong
(speed it up)
What is really, what is really goin wrong
What is really, (what is really), what is really, what is really goin wrong
(guitar solo)
What is really goin wrong
What is really, what is really goin wrong
song performed by by Sublime
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right.
quote by Albert Guinon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet- Life Is Flexible
It is not wrong to make mistakes often;
It is not wrong to do blunders in life;
It is not wrong to see mishaps happen;
It is not wrong to panic 'midst your strife.
It is not wrong to be lazy some days;
It is not wrong to make decisions wrong;
It is not wrong to squander wealth some ways;
It is not wrong to love a thing for long.
It is not wrong to come late while bell chimes,
It is not wrong to selfish be, at times;
It is not wrong to envy some sometimes;
It is not wrong to sin too many times.
It is not wrong to err where others don't;
'Tis wrong to feel guilty when others won't.
poem by John Celes
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Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
quote by Terry Pratchett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You are absolutely free to describe me as a turtle or something.
quote by Paul Giamatti
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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World Gone Wrong
1. strange things have happened, like never before.
My baby told me I would have to go.
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
2. feel bad this morning, aint got no home.
No use in worrying, cause the world gone wrong,
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
3. I told you, baby, right to your head,
If I didnt leave you I would have to kill you dead.
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
4. I tried to be loving and treat you kind,
But it seems like you never right, you got no loyal mind.
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
5. if you have a woman and she dont treat you kind,
Praise the good lord to get her out of your mind.
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
6. said, when you been good now, cant do no more,
Just tell her kindly, there is the front door.
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
7. pack up my suitcase, give me my hat,
No use to ask me, baby, cause Ill never be back.
I cant be good no more, once like I did before.
I cant be good, baby,
Honey, because the worlds gone wrong.
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Health And Happiness
Maybe it's not
That I don't care anymore
Maybe I just never did
You can't say
That I have ever lied
Because I keep the truth well hid
Tell me what's wrong
Is something wrong?
You can't be sad
When something you have never had
Suddenly feels gone
I wish you health
I wish happiness
But absolutely nothing else
I'm not here to keep an eye on you
I think you misunderstood
I could make things easy for you
I won't
But I could
Does that make you sad?
Cause you look sad
You should be glad
For what you've had
And don't feel bad
I could wish less for you
I wish you health
I wish you happiness
But absolutely nothing else
There is no distance here
To get across
There's nothing to grip
Or get a hold
The emptiness you feel
Is nothing at all
Now nobody broke any bones
It could be worse
Yeah, it can get worse
You've got your strength
And you have got your health
You should be worried 'bout
Somebody else
(chorus)
song performed by by Wallflowers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Health And Happiness
Maybe it's not
That I don't care anymore
Maybe I just never did
You can't say
That I have ever lied
Because I keep the truth well hid
Tell me what's wrong
Is something wrong?
You can't be sad
When something you have never had
Suddenly feels gone
I wish you health
I wish happiness
But absolutely nothing else
I'm not here to keep an eye on you
I think you misunderstood
I could make things easy for you
I won't
But I could
Does that make you sad?
Cause you look sad
You should be glad
For what you've had
And don't feel bad
I could wish less for you
I wish you health
I wish you happiness
But absolutely nothing else
There is no distance here
To get across
There's nothing to grip
Or get a hold
The emptiness you feel
Is nothing at all
Now nobody broke any bones
It could be worse
Yeah, it can get worse
You've got your strength
And you have got your health
You should be worried 'bout
Somebody else
(chorus)
song performed by by Wallflowers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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“Right Place - Right Time” “Wrong Place – Wrong Time”
“Right Place - Right Time” “Wrong Place – Wrong Time”
We all end up there
We believe it’s the right place
We believe it’s the right time
Why do we want it to be the right place?
Why is it always the wrong place?
Why is it always the wrong time?
“Right Place - Right Time” “Wrong Place – Wrong Time”
We are happy when we are in the right place at the right time
Yet when we are in the wrong place at the wrong time
We are lost
We feel like noting
We are sad
We cry
Our feelings getting hurt
Why can’t we be in the right place all the time?
Why can we be in the right time?
“Right Place - Right Time” “Wrong Place – Wrong Time”
poem by Keith Young
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Right Track Wrong Train
The train was leaving at 10 after 10
I got to the station just in time to check in
Ive been bumpin my bags all around
Im trying hard to never knock people down
But I can see I left a few on the ground
And as the train pulls away I can hear the conductor say
Right track wrong train (echoes)
Right track wrong train (echoes)
Im not to blame (echo)
Right track wrong train... train
I read my schedule but my train wasnt there
I re-read my ticket, it said going nowhere
Everybody had the same tatooed face
All the women and men dressed in lace
I think I gotta get out of this place
I shouldve got off before the engineer locked the door
Right track wrong train (echoes)
Right track wrong train (echoes)
Im not to blame (echo)
Right track wrong train, train train train hey !
Hey thats a neat tatoo youre wearing. by the way whered you get it ?
Uh huh. say, is this an express train ? uh huh.
Snack bar ? uh huh. uh huh.
Something is happening so familiar to me
Is this the outer limits like on tv ?
Another empty town fading to gray
Another coca-cola sign on the way
Have a cup of coffee, have a nice day
And as the train pushes on,
Were headed for babylon
Oh no...
Right track wrong train (echoes)
Right track wrong train (echoes)
Right track wrong train...
On the wrong train on the right track
We dont know if shell ever come back
(talking) what train is this ?
Something is happening so familiar to me
Is this the outer limits like on tv ?
Have a cup of coffee, have a nice day (talking)
Yeah, yeah Ill be right there yeah. Im gonna get the next train yeah.
song performed by by Cyndi Lauper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Philosophical Question
If power corrupts,
and absolute power
corrupts absolutely,
Then if a totally evil
Man comes to power
And is corrupted
Absolutely, will he
Become a saint?
poem by John Bliven Morin
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Absolutely Everybody
Absolutely everybody,
Everybody needs a little loving,
Everybody needs somebody thinking of them.
Everybody needs a little respect,
And whatever it takes,
Im gonna get it.
Everybody needs a hand to hold,
Someone to cling to
When the nights are getting cold.
Im no different,
I am just the same,
A player in the game.
Absolutely everybody,
Everybody, everybody.
Absolutely everybody
In the whole wide world.
Absolutely everybody,
Every boy and every girl,
Absolutely everybody.
Everybody needs a human touch.
I cant live without it,
It means too much to me.
Everybody needs one true friend,
Someone wholl be there til the very end.
And absolutely everybody breathes,
And everybody, everybody bleeds.
Were no different,
Were all the same,
Players in the game.
Absolutely, everybody,
Everybody, everybody.
Absolutely everybody
In the whole wide world.
Everybody breathes,
And everybody needs.
Absolutely everybody.
Absolutely everybody.
Every boy and girl,
Every woman and child.
Every father and son.
I said now everyone,
Yes now everyone.
Everybody needs a human touch.
Everybody, everybody needs love.
Im no different,
I am just the same,
A player in the game.
Absolutely everybody.
Dream dealers pty ltd
Transistor music australia pty ltd
1999
song performed by by Vanessa Amorosi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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