Patrick White

He Doesn't Really Know What It All Means

He doesn't really know what it all means,
but he gives it access to his heart, free-range of his mind.
Not expecting an answer to the mystery of life
because it isn't petty enough to have one,
he explores its horrors and wonders along the way
making small discoveries like rings and keys in the grass.
He doesn't look at things darkly through a glass anymore
since his binoculars turned into the third eye
of a mandalic kaleidoscope that has a way
of turning his chromatic aberrations into enlightenment.
And if he does it's usually a nightsky squandering stars
on those with the eyes to see them in the starmud
of their flesh and blood, in everyone of their insights,
an intimacy with billions of midnight suns all shining at once.

Mind includes the brain but the brain doesn't include the mind.
Just the way love includes the heart, but the heart
is a mere nugget of love, compared to what there is of love
it takes more than the measure of a universe to contain.
This is the cruising altitude of a submarine
that has spiritual aspirations of becoming a flying fish,
forgetting that love and mind are formless and without images
that can be grasped or rejected like stained glass windows,
totem poles or icons. If love were as brittle as that
it would surely break. You could lose it. You'd
need to defend it. It could be wounded like a rose
that suffered haemophilia for the rest of its fragile life.
You'd have to look for it down on your hands and knees
late at night when the grass is wet, with a lantern of fireflies.
You'd have to put the pieces back together with the binding energies
of the strong and weak nuclear forces if you ever
stepped on it accidentally like a nesting English skylark's egg.
And if you ever ran out of it when the water palace
of the black Taj Mahal turned back into a hovel in a slum,
you'd have to beg, and that would either empower your inferiors
or open a window of opportunity as big as the nightsky
for the indefinable to be merciful to the unattainable.

But take it from the experienced astroalchemist he is
if you mix a little starmud with a splash of moonwater,
and stir it in your heart, and let it sit awhile,
then drink a great draft of it from your skull
as if you could swallow a whole river in a single gulp,
down to the last drop, this feeling will overwhelm you
and halfway between midnight and the new moon
love will lend its eyes to your mind,
like the nightsky does starlight to a mirror,
and both will disappear into the longest, clearest light year of their lives.
If not, he tells himself, it's binary galaxies with binoculars
passing through each other like the ghosts of two starfish
trying to find a dynamic equilibrium to their maculate lucidity
like a gyroscope in a space where you don't really need one
but for the optics of what you can see
with your naked third eye, is probably tender and wise.

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Picture this

On then off relationship does it make sense? My heart

doesn’t understand this nonsense. My heart thinks on its own.

It holds defense when love is doing wrong. Holds offense

to keep its love at a steady beat and in control. My heart

even plays music cause it knows your favorite old R&B songs.

My heart keeps memories of special moments so when I think

of the bad I see the good and wont be mad or sad. My heart

knows it can't win a fight against love. My heart can stay up late

night and argue with love. My heart can't hide love in the dark

because my heart likes to show off love in during day light.

But we can make love at the stroke of midnight. My heart can’t lie

about love. My heart will write about love telling love how much big

love I got over the love I already got for love. My heart can't run from

love don't want to leave it behind. My heart rather walking close to love

to catch everything my heart needs from love. My heart can’t be in two

different places cause it only remember one face. My heart will do

anything to prove its love. My heart can’t close its eyes on love but

my heart could dream about love when I sleep. My heart is not about

to beg for love either you want me or you don't. And they say a person

heart doesn't have a brain.

Does everything happens for a reason or because

how the seasons changes maybe we just don't see

the blessing we have in front of us.

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The Heart or the Mind

Some say it's better that a man to stay out of love
Yes I did but I failed, forget her I could not
I tried to forget her, put her out of my mind
Out of my mind she was, but still in my heart

A strong will power is always said to prevail
Threw her out of my mind, but she was back again
To a heart meek and weak, will lose the mind and will
A weaker heart is strong, mightier than the brain
For when it comes to love, it is the heart that reigns

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Heart And Minf Fight

My mind says,
Stay in the room
My heart says,
See the universe

My mind says,
She has only a body
My heart says,
She has a beautiful soul

My mind says,
Get the degree
My heart says,
Get the knowledge

My mind says,
Kill the neighbor
My heart says,
Love the neighbor

My mind says,
Plunder the entire world
My heart says,
Give to the world

My mind says,
God is not here
My heart says,
God is here

My mind says,
Rule on the earth
My heart says,
Live equal on the earth

My mind says,
Invent new weapons
My heart says,
Keep the peace

My mind says,
He is a small man
My heart says,
He is a big man

My mind says
He is ignorant
My heart says,
He is wise

My mind says,
Live for money
My heart says,
Live in love

My mind says,
He heart you
My heart says,
Forget his mistake

My mind says,
Don’t agree with his opinion
My heart says,
I respect his opinion

My mind says,
You are great poet
My heart says,
You are nothing

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Logically It Should Have Been You

if the brain is the heart
i could have loved and married you and lived with you
but my heart has a mind of its own
always at war with my brain
my logical choices versus the glowing of the heart
what could have been
and what must be
and what should have been

all these are discarded because the heart
says this
and i followed it
to the last letter of its sigh
its longings
its quivers
and to the end i may have regretted it
telling myself
how dumb had i been

the heart has its own reasons
which i cannot fathom
it is strong like the flood of the river
and i was weak
till i met the punishment

death of my mind
resurrection of my spirit
a broken body
a living heart

i have always chosen love even to the extent of my loss
my own eternal damnation
my inevitable perdition

but all is still fair in love, so they always say it
and how can ever dispute
the words of the wise

unless, otherwise, i deny what i have always been
a heart always full of love
and an empty mind

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Heart Of Glass

Ooh ooh ooh whoa.
Once i had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out had a heart of glass.
Seemed like the real thing, only to find mucho mistrust.
Love's gone behind.
Once i had a love and it was divine.
Soon found out i was losing my mind.
It seemed like the real thing but i was so blind.
Mucho mistrust.
Love's gone behind.
In between "what i find is pleasing" and "i'm feeling fine", love is so confusing.
There's no peace of mind if i fear i'm losing you.
It's just no good, you teasing like you do.
Once i had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out had a heart of glass.
Seemed like the real thing, only to find mucho mistrust.
Love's gone behind.
Lost inside.
Adorable illusion and i cannot hide.
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside.
We coulda made it cruising, yeah.
Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light.
Ooh ooh ooh whoa.
Once i had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out to be a pain in the ass.
Seemed like the real thing only to find mucho mistrust.
Love's gone behind.

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Heart Of Glass (Live In Oxford)

Once I had a love and it was a gas
soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing
Only to find much mistrust
Love's gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out, I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing
Only to find much mistrust
Love's gone behind
In between what I find is pleasing
And I'm feeling fine love is so confusing
There's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you
It's just no good you teasing like you do
Once I had a love and it was a gas
soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing
Only to find much mistrust
Love's gone behind
Lost inside
Adorable illusion
And I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using
Please don't push me aside
We coulda made it cruising
Yeah!
Yeah riding high
On love's true bluish light
Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing
Only to find much mistrust
Love's gone behind
In between what I find is pleasing
And "I'm feeling fine" love is so confusing
There's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you
It's just no good you teasing like you do

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Mind vs. Heart

Mind: It's too early

Heart: The timing's right

Mind: Do you really want to ruin your freindship?

Heart: I'll take a chance

Mind: You don'y really love him that much

Heart: I love him enough

Mind: He's too old for you

Heart: Time matters not compared to love

Mind: You haven't known each other very long

Heart: It was love at first write

Mind: Are you prepared to let yourself get your heart broken...again?

Heart: ....He's worth the pain

Mind: Are you ready?

Heart: Yes...Are you?

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Ive Got Love On My Mind

Written by chuck jackson & marvin yancy
Ive got love on my mind
Ive got love on my mind
Ive got love on my mind
And theres nothing particularly wrong
Its a feeling I feel inside
When I woke up early this morning
It was staring me straight in my eyes
Ive got love (love) on my mind (ooh)
Ive got love (love) on my mind (ooh)
Ive got love (love) on my mind (ooh)
When you touch me I cant resist
And youve touched me a thousand times
When I think of your tender kiss, ah
Then and there I start to unwind, ooh, in your arms
I like to be, yeah, caressing you gentle
And tenderly, oh, yeah, from sunrise to sunset
All through the day, Ive been waiting for your return
And you know this is where Ill be
I can say to the world Ive learned only you can satisfy me
Satisfy me, oh, you have made me so very happy
Oh baby, baby, (love) love, love, on my (on my mind), my, my, my mind
Love (love), love, on-- (on my mind) my mind
(love) Ive got love (on my mind) on my mind, yeah
(love) its a whole lot of love (on my mind), its a whole lot of love, yes, it is
(love) I cant hear ya, say it for me one more time
(love) oh, I like the way you say it, when you say it for me, yeah
(love, love) ooh, you know, its like paradise, say it twice
(love, love) got a whole lot of love, whole lot of love for you, baby, yeah
(love) you know this thing, I got love, yeah
Ive got (love) on my mind (on my mind)
Oh (love) love, love on my mind (on my mind)
Ive got, (love) Ive got, Ive got, Ive got, Ive got
(on my mind) love, love, love
(love) Ive got love on
(on my mind) my mind, yeah
Oh (love) yeah, oh, love, (on my mind)
Love, love, love, la, la....yeah

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Room 122

Tossing her leather bag onto the bed she waits stretched as tight as a drum. Her heart feels like Thor's war hammer is beating against it. The tension in the back of her neck is making her crouch forward.
Sit up straight, she says to herself.
Don't say too much when he walks in. And DON'T look him in the eye.
The eyes are a dead giveaway. A window to the soul.
When he comes in look over his shoulder like there's something behind his back you have an interest in.
So many memories...
God, you're a freak. What are you doing here? It's plain.
Love? No, you've lost your mind. That has to be it.
But, he say's he can't wait to see you, so everything is going be ok. God would have intervened if it wasn't ok.
A faint knock.
Don't answer it. Wait! Don't go. Go. No, wait.
Answer the door you idiot! He came all this way to see you.
He towers over her dominantly. Her knees go weak.
Don't chicken out now.
You're so beautiful, he says. Your hair is a little shorter, but you look the same.
She takes his hand. She's shaking inside. Does he feel it? She doesn't want him to think she's a little girl.
Shut up! You ARE a little girl!
Would you like a glass wine? she asks. Thinking she's in need of liquid courage.
Yes. Do you have a bottle opener?
Yes, I always come prepared.
Oh great, you found opportunity to mention what a real keen taskmaster you are.
Cut to the chase. You were soaked with the mere thought of him. Just let him take you down.
He sits down on the love sofa. In her mind she finds this hilarious. He's on the love sofa. She wonders why they are called that.
I mean seriously, how many people make love on a sofa? Hmm.
How long can you stay? She asks.
About 2 hours.
Oh no, she thinks. We don' have much time. She wonders how they can absorb each other in a mere two hours.
Let's go lie down, he says. I want to look at you.
You promised that you wouldn't force me into anything, she says.
I wont, he says.
Against her own advice she starts to look into his eyes. Oh God, they're green. Look away. You always were a sucker for green eyes. They'll bewitch you...Fill you with regret.
I remember you from the last time I saw you, he says.
Really? When was that? she asks.
I'm not sure. It was in the Ratz Keller, I think. I may have been drinking. I may have been dreaming.
Oh. she says, her voice trailing off. I don't remember, I'm sorry.
From out of nowhere…I want you to stroke me. Would you like to do that? The bulge in his jeans huge.
So many memories...
Frightened, she looks at her watch. Do you know that it's midnight? Their time together had evaporated.
Really? he says. I have to go.
I wish you didn't have to, she says.
Call me ok? She asks vulnerably.
Sure. What's your name and number?

Written by Sara Fielder © 2012

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Early Works - Is It The Love In Me

Sadness is showing in my eyes
deep within the softness of the night.
Is it love I feel
or an illusion
of something that could never be real?

My heart is bouncing like a spring
as echoing in my ears are bells
chiming in concession with each other,
but how can this be
love should never come to me.

The confessions of my mind
delude my sense of reason
that it has built a myth within heart,
a falsity of fragments t
hat falsify the true facts of love and life.
Knowing love is a once in a lifetime thing
I know only sadness, it will never come to me.

My life is lost
in the boundaries
where romantics lie
in the solitude of tranquillity
where only the sounds of passion herald
near the wayward tombs of love
and only the sounds of sleeping
elude the silence of the night.

Encrusted in a velvet sky
are diamond shaped gleams of stars in the heavens
and a gold crusted ball of light - the moon,
which is said to be
a lovers light of peace and tranquillity,
but like all symbolic features of love
it has a falsity to fact,
for lovers need no moon to love
and much prefer when it is lacked.

Though all these falsities
are based on things of my past.
Could love be real?
Can it really last?
Or is my imagination taking over
my heart, my mind, my body, my soul, and my life
or is it love that has me in its grasp.

My mind tells me to deny the fact,
my heart wants me to believe it,
and so in my conquest of heart and mind
I believe my heart and fall for you.
Its all right for me,
but you - you are afraid
that I will hurt you.
In this confession,
my heart and my mind give a promise.

Never to break your heart
for I find you are the only one I love.
These words are from the heart,
not from the mind
and tell of the true deep feeling.
Although I fell I cannot tell you,
my feeling do not count
and once again like every time before
the priceless thing in life I must forfeit
as it seems my destiny is to live without love.


13 August 1968

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Void

I've seen so many faces
These hands have lied before
I've kissed so many lips it's blocked my mind
I've whispered bullshit, nothings
I've cried alone in night
I thought I'd found the one a million times
But doesn't anyone fill the void?
Doesn't anyone kill the joy?
Doesn't anyone take the place of you in my heart?
And doesn't anyone fill the void?
Doesn't anyone kill the joy?
Doesn't anyone take the place of you?
I let a stranger love me
I gave away my pride
I bit my lips, so I could block my mind
I've called your name to others
Just like a spinal chord
Severed and broken but the spark still tries
And doesn't anyone fill the void?
Doesn't anyone kill the joy?
Doesn't anyone take the place of you in my heart?
Doesn't anyone fill the void?
Doesn't anyone kill the noise?
Doesn't anyone take the place of you?
They don't know you like I do
They don't see the good inside you
They don't lie with you in bed and join you when you're dreaming
They don't see your softer side
Who'll be there to turn your light on?
Who will try to wash away the stain that love has left us?
Doesn't anyone fill the void?
Doesn't anyone kill the joy?
Doesn't anyone kill the place of you in my heart?
Doesn't anyone bring the noise?
Doesn't anyone kill the joy?
Doesn't anyone take the place of you?

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Forsaking My Love

I hate you
I wish to tear you away from me
This tumor that clings to my chest
The thing that makes me ache
That haunts my dreams
And tears at my desires
You have brought me only pain
My untamed heart
That beast that gnaws at my soul
That pitifully whines
Bringing my mind into unwanted pain
Yet how can I blame you
How can I chastise you when I listen intently to your pleas
Why should I punish you for what my eyes feed upon
How can I blame my eyes for falling upon her
She who brings light to the eternal darkness of my soul
She whose eyes bring me to subjection
Whose smile leaves me in awe
How can I blame you when my ears are met with her laughter
How they submerge into her song
How they quiver at her voice
Why should I punish you for inclining my soul
Tempting it with the one sense that has been forsaken by her
How could I look over the thought of the brushing of lips
The touching of hands
The binding of the soul, mind, and body
O you wretched heart
What am I to do with this constant companion
How could I tear you away
When she is the cause of my agony
Or rather
It is the lack of her which brings me sorrow
It is the need for her that leaves my heart in pain
Yet she is not mine
She was never mine
She will never be mine
O my poor heart
How can I make you see reason
When all you do is show me the truth

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Patrick White

If You're Braver Than I Am

If you're braver than I am
it's only because you're more desparate you said
and I broke down laughing in tears
as you were tripping on mushrooms
and I was starting to peak on acid.
Why should you love me at all you asked
and I said I like to take subjective risks
and I can still light up at the smile you gave me
because you thought I thought you were dangerous.
Have you stayed dangerous over the years?
Did you ever find enlightenment?
Or have all those Doors of Perception we stepped through
way back then to expand our cosmic consciousness
by crossing all our thresholds
and dotting all our taboos
closed like space behind you?
Have you made your return address a point of view
you can live with
and turned those beautiful Hispanic eyes
into late night windows
that don't see anything that ever goes down in the neighbourhood?
Is your seeing still ambidextrous
or have you shut your eyes to the world
so they're more wall than window
and there's only one way of looking in?
Sometimes I think that night I dropped acid with you
on China Beach under the stars
estranged by the flames and shadows and smoke
of a cedar fire eager to burn its first heretic
I got so high I've never come down
and though forty-four years have passed
I'm still nineteen back there somewhere with you.
Even my mother used to say in frustration
when she couldn't win the argument
that I had a way of turning things upside-down.
That may well be so
but I'd still rather be an oxymoron
that can see all sides of things at once
like a multi-faceted jewel turning in the light
in front of a mirror
that doesn't know which one of its infinite profiles to choose
and doesn't,
than suffer the Great Reversal of the Hourglass
and end up walking on my head
and thinking with my feet
just so everybody would think I was normal.
I'm still nineteen back there somewhere with you
and the fire we lit that night
like something ephemeral
among so much that was eternal
keeps flaring up in me like a phoenix that's never gone out.
Clarity doesn't turn a lie into the truth.
And enlightenment might be so blissed out
it celebrates its own ignorance
because everything is perfect just as it is
but I still think there's more sincerity in the search
than there is in the finding.
I still think life is a mystery that surpasses its own wonder.
I still think every moment contains the whole of space
without beginning or end
like a water droplet contains the whole of the sea.
I still think that whenever people touch one another gently
they leave their fingerprints on the window
like constellations on the sky
that prove our identities are as indelible as light.
I still think there's something more alluringly mystical about action
than there is in the undynamic peace of contemplation.
But the best is to make love as we did that night
as a tantric mode of creative annihilation
that showed the drugs we were on
like flying carpets
what it was like for once
to get so euphorically high on us
the next time they saw us coming
they'd just say yes.

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When You're In Love

When you're in love
You don't know much about it
Not in your mind
Romantic love
Rots the brain, no doubt about it
You're out of your mind, you're out of your mind
Seeing things like your heart with wings
Then you hear violin strings playing
Feel all the things that you feel you should
You would lie, you would kill, you would die
At least that's what you're saying
The worst thing is that you really would
When you're in love
You don't know much about it
Not in your mind
Romantic love
Rots the brain, no doubt about it
You're out of your mind, you're out of your mind
Six thousand million people in the world
And you say there's just one
The only one, and you must be together
And if they love you the pain is so sweet
And it just gets better and better
And if they don't
You want them more than ever
When you're in love
You don't know much about it
Not in your mind
Romantic love
Rots the brain, no doubt about it
You're out of your mind, you're out of your mind

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My Love, My Life

Ive seen it on your face
Tells me more than any worn-out old phrase
So now well go separate ways
Never again we two
Never again, nothing I can do
Like an image passing by, my love, my life
In the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life
I can see it all so clearly
(see it all so clearly)
Answer me sincerely
(answer me sincerely)
Was it a dream, a lie?
Like reflections of your mind, my love, my life
Are the words you try to find, my love, my life
But I know I dont possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Still my one and only
Ive watched you look away
Tell me is it really so hard to say?
Oh, this has been my longest day
Sitting here close to you
Knowing that maybe tonight were through
Like an image passing by, my love, my life
In the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life
I can see it all so clearly
(see it all so clearly)
Answer me sincerely
(answer me sincerely)
Was it a dream, a lie?
Like reflections of your mind, my love, my life
Are the words you try to find, my love, my life
But I know I dont possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Yes I know I dont possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Still my one and only

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Love Has A Mind Of Its Own

Think about me and you
Think of all the changes weve
Been through
The laughter an the tears, the
Years together
Little did we both know
When we fell we gave up all control
Though times get hard
Were strong enough to carry on
cause
Love has a mind of its own
It moves in its own circles
And it roams where it will roam
Love has a mind of its own
It holds our lives together
Youre my heart, youre my home
(I) stayed awake last night
Told myself that this time we were
Through
That passion wasnt pair, my heart
Had changed
But then in the morning light
The feeling cut me like a knife
And then I knew
I couldnt walk away from you
cause
Love has a mind of its own
It moves in its own circles
And it roams where it will roam
Love has a mind of its own
It holds our lives together
Youre my heart, youre my home
We can drive ourselves so far apart
The world gets in between
Before you know, the distance grows
Till never we lose sight of the dream
But the wonder of it all
Is how love will survive
It never fails to keep us going
It never fails to keep us alive
cause
Love has a mind of its own
It moves in its own circles
And it roams where it will roam
Love has a mind of its own
It holds our lives together
Youre my heart, youre my home
Love has a mind of its own
It moves in its own circles
And it roams where it will roam
Love has a mind of its own
It holds our lives together
Youre my heart, youre my home

song performed by by Donna SummerReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He doesn’t love me

He doesn’t love me
And I don’t need a clue or story
That I should give up, I better give up
I mustn’t let this feeling to live

He could slap me through my heart
Word always glued in my mouth
But everything I do is for him
He has a power in me

Tangles severe complication
He always screwing my mind
I can’t get him out of my head
I can not even hate him

He doesn’t love me
He doesn’t even look at me
But I don’t care, do I care?
He is my only reason to breath

He doesn’t love me
And I’m always out of his door
I continue hope, a broken hope
He will open a little for me

He leaves a scar that last forever
I always have a right to forget
But my love is blind, how could you help?
It’s easy to say than to go away

He doesn’t love me
And I don’t want pity or sorry
That he will never love me
Of all the worst things in the world could be

poem by Maria SudibyoReport problemRelated quotes
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Love

Love is a gamble,
It leaves your thinking in a scramble,
The brain was once in control,
Now everything is different because you love with all your heart and soul.

Thinking with the mind,
Loving with the heart,
A beautiful feeling I find myself difficult to part.
Making decisions wit your heart.
It got your brain telling you that wasn't smart.

A prisoner of love never want to break free,
I was never looking for love but it found me.
Blinded by love, it's amazing because I am able to see things differently.
So now I'm holding it at hostage,
Reaping all the benefits.
I realised love possess great demands,
There are some ups and downs and they always go hand in hand.

I love forever and ever,
When I give love it wasn't meant to return to its owner.

True love is rare &sincere.
That's why before it's opened, love is labelled handle wit care.
Loving someone or something is incredible,
But I would be bias if I didn't say love often gets you into trouble.

poem by Anita KhelawanReport problemRelated quotes
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Which Comes First

when two people get married
is it a marriage of Body and Mind?
or is it a marriage of Heart and Soul?
and which one comes first?
SOMETHING TO PONDER!
what did i feel when i proposed?

my Body: told me that i ached for
the joining together, and sexual fulfillment.
my Mind: told me that i wanted to be
with her for the rest of my life.
my Heart: felt empty without her.
my Soul: soared to the highest height
to see all that could be given and achieved.

when i first saw you my Heart stood still
like on a roller coaster going down
and feeling the thrill.
and as that thrill rose, my Soul climbed high above
to show me this beautiful love.
this love so strong that it consumed my Body and Mind.
that it took me to 'the end of time'.

so for me which came first, as you can
plainly see, Heart and Soul was the one for me.

i give you my Heart- and all it contains
for without you, my life will never be the same.
i give you my Soul-for that is the other part
that i have to give
for without a Soul we can not live.
i give you my Mind- for your love to control
for it protects my Heart and Soul.
i give you my Body-
which is an empty shell
for without your love, i'm in living hell.

these are the four parts of this mere man
and i give it to you, for that's my plan.
i would take the human sufferings of
torture, pain and defeat
as long as i know your love i'll keep.

'YOU ARE LIFE' and all that it holds
Body, Mind, Heart and Soul.
take me as you would a breath of air
and my life with you i will share.

I THINK THE ANSWER THAT I HAVE GIVEN
SHOWS THAT LIFE IS WORTH LIVING.

poem by Louis RamsReport problemRelated quotes
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Patrick White

What I Would Say

What I would say to you if you were near,
if this definitive namelessness that walks me down to the river
to add my tears to the flowing, to sit on my rock
and stare at my self in reverse on a throne of water
enrobed in my star-dazzled solitude, setting fire
to poems I never wanted to own,
every burning lily of paper floating away
like another crown I've set free
from this domain of air and shadows
to seek its own regency, its own unknowable moment of shining,
weren't the eyeless oblivion that engendered us both.
I would say to you in the pyres and the petals
of these wild wounded swans, in the black down and ash
of these exorcised ghosts, in the dream wakes
of these poems that confess their love to the flames
with every exhalation, with every feather of smoke
gone to smudge the sky of the stars that brought them here
in the form of a man, I would say,
it was always the hive of your silence
that was the fairest likeness of you, the bluest honey
rarer than night, I've ever tasted.
And I'd try not to talk too much,
letting the fish jump for the two of us,
and the winged serpents of the luminosity slip away
like things not said into the water
and I'd draw you in under the bough of my arm
that was never much of a yoke
as if you were the fruit of an astounded tree,
and hold you a long time in the vastness
before I turned to kiss you for everything
and fall down back into the silver grass
to make love to you on the moon.
And you in my arms again, your cheek on my chest
your leg across mine, my hand, a wing of tender caresses,
I would mingle blood and starlight
with the wine of your body and being
like a chalice lying empty by the river
that has brought us both to drink from one another
like the deer that will come out later from the grove
to drink from their own reflections. And gestures of life and death
would flutter through me like the red-winged blackbirds
among the sceptres of the cattails,
and I'd want to thank and accuse the incomprehensible sky
for this night of being human long enough
to understand its brevity is its beauty
and its brevity goes on forever like you and I,
burnt poems, wounded swans, lovers, indelibly.

Life is suggested to us, never proclaimed,
like the course of the river, as the limbs of the fallen oak
look as if they're trying to swim, and one poem
more enduring than the rest,
floats downstream under a frozen elbow
raised to take the next stroke,
and with a final flare as it comes to the end of itself
levitates up into the air and disappears like a buddha
into the absolute perfect emptiness of an enlightenment
that grasps at nothing. Form
is emptiness; emptiness is form, and the poem
had a good death I suppose as a lifeboat in flames,
and though you're not with me now,
we've never been apart, as the shadow of an unknown bird
lands on the water, and then another,
and I think of them as you and I
arriving somewhere together out of the sky and the night
and the bright vacancy
between the sidereal knots
in the nets of the constellations, to drift among the stars awhile
weary of flying, two poems back from the dead.

And I wonder what love is, knowing
love is I wonder what love is,
as the fireflies flash their assent,
and the cars pass in the distance on highbeam,
and the frogs spring away from their flints. And I come here
as much for the island that spreads the stream
into the water legs of a woman
like the orchid of her sex, as to be alone with myself
like a wharf deeply saddened by a thousand farewells,
to launch my fleet of poems
like the blossoms of the abandoned orchard on the far bank.
I like being a child alone on the shores of things,
turning the stones over, lost like a fragrance
among the whispering flowers, ruling my loneliness like a stick.
And I've always asked questions no one could answer,
awed by the fact of being here at all
under stars I can name like personal friends, but here,
everything's got a mouth of its own to answer,
and the answers seem more timeless for being left unsaid.

And I'm never as old by these waters
as I am anywhere else, and the dusty apricot of the moon
you told me to watch as you would
is always so much more on this undulant black mirror
than a window will ever be able to say to a man at a desk.
There's a birch and three willows
and the third of the three is you
dipping your hair in the water
as if your roots weren't enough for the glass.
And it's no surprise to know you know how
to drink the whole river in a single gulp
and swallow a whole star with your eyes
in a single glimmer
the way a solitary dropp of water
at the tip of the tongue of the stargrass
entirely fits the entire skin of the sky
because I already know how you can consume the whole of me
from the night song in the flight of the bird in my voice
and from a single hair of your head,
or the eyelash on your cheek
that is all that separates us now,
from the ashes on the last breath of a single burning poem.
I can be here with you as I have always been
on the other side of death
where everything in creation
above and below this river of night,
from the furthest galaxy
to the dragonfly on my right
is expanding like a lily of fire into us,
as if we were the emptiness that receives the light.
So it's easy to know where it's all going,
releasing these little fire-boats on the stream,
raising themselves up like the breathless flowers of a dream
rooted in the infinite depths of the knowing,
it's always, like birds and stars and fish in the flowing,
been going to us.

poem by Patrick WhiteReport problemRelated quotes
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