No Love For Jonny
No Love For Jonny?
Was doing the dishes when I felt an odd rousing
below the belt, thought of calling my girlfriend,
haven’t seen her for ages, but she probably would
want dinner, with wine, before succumbing to my
charms, and by then I would be drunk and tired;
so just forget it. Dried the dishes and staked them
neatly, I’m you, see housetrained and divorced,
went into the bathroom and shared my vanishing
ardour with the pink, blasé bathroom sink.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
My life right now is, I wouldn't say reduced to food, but my duties in life are that I wake up, cook breakfast, clean the dishes, prepare lunch, clean those dishes, go to the market, get fresh produce, cook dinner, clean those dishes and then sleep if I can. And I love it. I actually adore it.
quote by Heath Ledger
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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A Friend Left Behind
The bottle, in his bathroom
pills pink and white
begging for resolution
an empty bottle, his light
He left this world
alone
as his rock n' roll friends did
He left this world
safe
from the hands that always hit
the unmade bed, the dirty dishes
and garbage
he did forget
When he left this world
he left behind
the screaming, drugs
beatings and very little hugs
The pills now gone
and so was the pain
his breath faded quickly
he heard God, faintly, cry in vain
His soul gave way to death
while I was overseas
I prayed that God did see
of all things he left behind
the most he missed
was me
poem by Matt Mondschein
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Not Taking Either Side
'He this...'
She says.
'She that...'
He replys.
And I listen to this,
Not taking either side.
Quarrels do not feed my appetite.
Especially when I'm caught...
In the midst of a domestic fight!
'What do 'you think? '
She asks.
'Don't get involved! '
Says he!
And I look for the bathroom...
Since all of this makes me pee!
'Sure, take his side! '
She says as I moved!
And as he walked to the door...
Guess who goes through it,
To get away from these two?
I know the signs of divorce,
And I knew quickly what to say and do!
'Thanks for dinner!
I just remembered it's my anniversary! '
'I thought you said you were divorced? '
Says he.
OH! I am!
Thank you for reminding me to celebrate it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Washing up
'Grab a hold of that dish-cloth our Peter,
And give me a lift with these dishes;
We don't have a genie in this house
To help us, by giving three wishes.
It's manual labour our Peter,
A straightforward job in the sink;
A mountain of mucky old dishes
And then we can go for a drink.
Our Ena is ever so fussy though,
The glasses, they MUST be done first;
The cups and the plates are then easy,
The large greasy pans are the worst.'
'Put plenty of 'fairy' in Peter'
Said Fred, 'it will save you from scrubbing;
We'll soon have them spotless and shining
And then me and you can go clubbing.'
'Grab a hold of that towel our Freddie,
This mountain is now just a hill;
Just two more, then a colander Freddie,
And then I'll be on to the grill.'
Soon the hill was as flat as a pancake,
The dishes were done and all dry;
Fred and Peter were happy as sandboys,
To the boozer their feet would soon fly.
'Hey Ena! they're done, we have finished,
I told you we wouldn't get vexed; '
'Hey Peter, and Fred! no you haven't,
I told you, the ironing is next.'
(Written Jan 1996)
poem by John Carter Brown
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Housework
Wash the dishes dear.
A bard doesn’t do dishes.
William Shakespeare did,
wrote his best work when cleaning windows,
for his wife.
I didn’t know that darling; anyway
windows look ok to me.
I didn’t mean the windows but the dishes.
poem by Oskar Hansen
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His And Hers (Fun Poem)
One was blue and one was pink
They sat on a shelf above the bathroom sink
And while their owners were fast asleep
They chatted to one another all night long
These two pairs of false teeth.
poem by David Harris
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Whole Day Off
Have you seen my girlfriend
She lives in a pig pen
Have you seen my girlfriend
I cant seem to find her
Perhaps she is hiding
Underneath a blade of grass
Chorus
Lets take the whole day off
Lets take the whole day off
Lets take the whole day off . . .
Have you seen my new house
Looks just like a dog house
Have you seen my new house
Someone saw it walking
Straight into the ocean
He thought it was an ivory boat
Chorus
Bridge
Maybe--its just a bad dream and Ill wake up soon
But I dont think Ill be so lucky
Maybe--its just one of those strange days when nothing seems right
No nothing seems right at all
Went up to a pay phone on a bathroom wall
But I cant remember who I want to call
Operator can you help me
Have you seen my garden
It is most peculiar
Have you seen my garden
Nothing there that grows
Looks anything at all like plants
I hear their voices . . .
Lets take the whole day off . . .
Chorus
Have you seen my girlfriend
Have you seen my girlfriend . . .
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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'I hate discussions of feminism that end up with who does the dishes,' she said. So do I. But at the end, there are always the damned dishes.
quote by Marilyn French
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You know, Stephen says, in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave, they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom, and he turned it into this nightmare, you know, your worst fear of what's in there.
quote by Lawrence Kasdan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Did She Ever Dance The Tango?
Did she ever dance the tango
On those clear and cloudless nights?
Did she ever wash the dishes?
While I was wondering what might
Time have made of our new loving
Or was it moving out of sight?
Did she ever fully love you?
Or did she merely say she did?
Did she sometimes feel too tired?
Or did she not have any kids?
Did you simply just forget me?
Why did you let my passion die?
Why did you never ever let me
Just be me so i could fly?
poem by David Keig
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Hubert's 78th Dream
He leaves, I ignore
Her and get drunk
Drinkin rum. She
Leaves, I get drunk
I try to help
Th mother serve
the food to the kids
But I keep dropping
Food and plates.
So I just get drunk
And take my time
Washing the dishes.
poem by Hubert J. Humperdink
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That Old Man...
that old man...
wakes up every morning,
greets death with a scowl.
shuffles barefoot to the bathroom,
pees in defiance of the day.
writes a letter to the President,
or one to the editor.
drinks a pot of black coffee,
puts on his hat and his coat.
tipping his hat to god,
takes his dog for a walk.
speaks little, never asks,
for nothing from no one.
sweeps the floor, washes his dishes,
then sits in his chair.
sometimes eats, often not,
and tries not to remember.
watching the hands on the clock,
and a sparrow out the window.
waits for night to come again,
he waits for the knock!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
quote by Bill Cosby
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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The Scale
I rise out of bed, what do I find?
My bathroom scales are first on my mind
My daily routine, is get out of bed
Then to the bathroom is where I'll head
I tread ever so gently onto the scale
Then say a prayer whilst a breath I inhale
Please dear lord the pounds I am needing
Are a little bit lower than yesterdays reading
Now when I think of my calorie intake
A good weight loss reading I have to forsake
Eat less and exercise, drink no wine
I'll then lose some weight and I'll be on cloud nine
So now here we have a brand new day
Today I'll be good come what may!
The List
Today, I told myself I'd returned to normal
Whatever that means
I concluded this by the fact
that I had actually completed
everything on my 'list'
without daydreaming
Those little checkmarks
a measurement of how far I've come
to forget you
After dinner,
I'll wash the dishes,
watch television,
read in bed,
and drift in dreams
Back to square one
poem by Sara Fielder
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lay Me Down
Got dust on my piano
And dishes in the sink
Your side of the bed is cold
I haven't slept a wink
So I read your goodbye letter
To the face inside my drink
Lay me down and roll me out to sea
Got your picture in my wallet
And some pictures in my mind
A pocketfull of memories
I never thought I'd find
And it's rainin' like a Monday
And the world seems so unkind
So lay me down and roll me out to sea
Lay me down, roll me out to sea
Callin' on a mighty wave to cover me
Lay me down
Roll me out to sea
Heaven, if you're ready shine your light on me
Now listen to my story
Cause I haven't told it all
I saw her with her new love
She turned to me and called
When they asked, "How ya' doing?"
I could crumbled like a wall
So lay me down and roll me out to sea
Lay me down roll me out to sea
Callin' on a mighty wave to cover me
Lay me down
Roll me out to sea
Heaven, if you're ready, shine your light on me
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I still get nervous on dates. I'll be sitting at dinner with a guy and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I can't breathe.
quote by Shannen Doherty
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Makin' Whoopee
Another bride
Another June
Another sunny - honeymoon
Another season
Another reason
For makin' whoopee
A lot o' shoes
A lot o' rice
The groom is nervous
He answers twice
It's really killin'
That he's so willin'
To make whoopee
Picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest
See what a year can bring
He's washin' dishes
And baby clo-othes
He's so ambitious
He even sews
But don't forget folks
That's what you get folks
For makin' whoopee
He's washin' dishes
And baby clo-othes
He's so ambitious
He even sews
But don't forget folks
That's what you get folks
For makin' whoopee, whoopee, whoopee-ee
song performed by by Nat King Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don Not Be Confused
it is not the body
that we laundry
it is not the body
but the soul
that we purify
it is not the body
that you can
prepare like washed
dishes for your
next dinner
it is not the print
on the paper
but the thought
it is the dream and
not the sleep
it is the grasp of the
the divine
not the hold of something
bovine.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Housewife
Housewife, up at the crack of dawn
Getting her man ready to go
Kisses him good bye
And soon he's gone
Off to work for the day
Now, it's quiet for a bit
Just when, I would like to sit
Kids are up, and ready to go
Off to school, and soon their gone
Now, the dishes
Then the clothes
Before, I know it they'll be home
Supper to serve, dishes to be done
Help with school lessons, everyone
What a day it has been
Now, the TV just went
poem by Sarah Rodenburg
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