Winter Complaint
Now when I have a cold
I am careful with my cold,
I consult a physician
And I do as I am told.
I muffle up my torso
In woolly woolly garb,
And I quaff great flagons
Of sodium bicarb.
I munch on aspirin,
I lunch on water,
And I wouldn’t dream of osculating
Anybody’s daughter,
And to anybody’s son
I wouldn’t say howdy,
For I am a sufferer
Magna cum laude.
I don’t like germs,
But I’ll keep the germs I’ve got.
Will I take a chance of spreading them?
Definitely not.
I sneeze out the window
And I cough up the flue,
And I live like a hermit
Till the germs get through.
And because I’m considerate,
Because I’m wary,
I am treated by my friends
Like Typhoid Mary.
Now when you have a cold
You are careless with your cold,
You are cocky as a gangster
Who has just been paroled.
You ignore your physician,
You eat steaks and oxtails,
You stuff yourself with starches,
You drink lots of cocktails,
And you claim that gargling
Is a time of waste,
And you won’t take soda
For you don’t like the taste,
And you prowl around parties
Full of selfish bliss,
And greet your hostess
With a genial kiss.
You convert yourself
Into a deadly missle,
You exhale Hello’s
Like a steamboat wistle.
You sneeze in the subway
And you cough at dances,
And let everybody else
Take their own good chances.
You’re a bronchial boor,
A bacterial blighter,
And you get more invitations
Than a gossip writer.
Yes, your throat is froggy,
And your eyes are swimmy,
And you hand is clammy,
And you nose is brimmy,
But you woo my girls
And their hearts you jimmy
While I sit here
With the cold you gimmy.
poem by Ogden Nash
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Related quotes
If You Want To Become Obese, Catch A Cold (Fun Poem 37)
According to a news story, I read yesterday.
Every time to cough or sneeze,
you put on an extra pound or two.
According to the scientists, obesity can be party blamed
to the good old common cold.
Now if their figures are right
I should be weighing in at about ten tons by now,
as I rarely seem to be without a cold,
spring summer, winter or fall.
Mind you, it would help to explain
why people remark that my wife
seems a lot shorter than I do.
She is standing in my footprints,
which make potholes wherever I go.
However, it gets better than that;
they say the virus is transmitted through our dirty hands.
I am assuming they want us to wash
our hands every five minutes of the day.
In that case, we should carry a bowl of water
around our necks, with a bar of soap and some disposable towels.
You have to laugh at this though.
I remember a few years ago the self same scientists
sent a troupe of scouts away for a month and told them not to wash.
When they came back dirty from head to foot,
the scientist declared they had fewer germs
on them than someone who showered every day.
Now they are telling us dirty hands help us catch colds and obesity.
So we can forget about the diets and the expensive gyms.
All we have to beware of is the common cold,
of which they have never found a cure for,
because if we catch one you can stack on the pounds.
You may even become like me a ten-ton weakling!
poem by David Harris
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The coldest of the cold?
A greedy person’s Cold ambition
Or could it be Cold windy nights
The pureness of Cold clear water
Or the alien aspect of Cold neon lights
The careless Cold shoulder
The unfeeling Cold heart
The curse of Cold nature
Cold hands held apart
Could it be Cold feet
Could it be cold fears
Could it be cold weather
Or icy cold ears
Even above cold blood…
Even above… being apart
My choice of all, above, Would be
the unfeeling…of a cold, cold heart
poem by David Whalen
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Under The Weather
Along the streets, my leaden feet plod:
In my mind, this all feels quite odd.
Usually, when walking, I keep a good pace,
But, at the moment, this is not the case.
When I cough, my chest gives a rattle.
Just to keep going, feels like a battle.
Walking along a road that's all uphill,
Is a real struggle, and takes all of my will.
I seem to have lost my ‘get up and go.'
My pace at the moment is painfully slow.
My nose is all flaky, and has gone red.
Now, when I cough, it hurts my head.
I don't really feel like a lot to eat.
I prefer sitting down to rest my feet.
My soul within, feels quite deflated.
At my slow pace, I feel quite frustrated.
I cough so much that my ribs are sore.
Having a cold has become a real bore.
From me, some folk are now steering clear:
In case of infection, they won't come near.
Chances are that my cough will hang on:
I will be so relieved when it has gone.
My nose keeps running, just like a tap.
My inner strength, my cold has sapped.
Having a cold, I find just so annoying:
With my patience, this cold is toying.
I can't wait to be back to my old self:
Feeling happy, and back to good health.
poem by Angela Wybrow
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Shivery
This cold cold weather, bids me not
to energetic spree
I stand and shiver, wondering how
To warm that cold cold me
If only I could make a start
It would not be bad it seems.
But somehow I just linger on
And do it, in my dreams.
My ideas are brilliant
They are plain to see
But ho, this cold cold weather
Does waste my time for me.
From Mother To Daughter From Mother To Daughter.
Drink in some,
ice cold water little girl,
drink in some ice cold water,
some day you'll be big and strong,
but water will carry you all along.
Drink in some ice cold water little girl,
the day has been harsh to you,
the times are tough,
and getting rough,
but water will carry you though.
Drink in some ice cold water little girl,
although it's not getting easier,
refresh yourself,
from a nearby creek,
and maybe you'll see just what you need,
maybe water will show it to you.
Drink in some ice cold water little girl,
although you have grown much bigger,
you maybe be growing up strong and tall,
but water has carried you through.
Drink in some,
ice cold water little girl,
drink in some ice cold water,
some day you'll be big and strong,
but water will carry you all along.
poem by Sandra jacks
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Out In The Cold
The day fell down, the air got cold
I walked out in the street
Daydreamed for a mil e or two
Staring at my feet
Like a workin boy, out of luck
Fallin through the cracks
Night rolled in, I turned back home
A hard wind at my back
Im out in the cold (out in the cold)
Body and soul (out in the cold)
Th eres nowhere to go (out in the cold)
Im out in the cold (out in the cold)
Well I woke up
My brain was stunned
I could come around
I reached out to grab my keys
Tumbled to the ground
I thought of you
Starry eyed
I wondered where we stand
Did I just fall from your arms
Down into your hands
Im out in the cold (out in the cold)
Body and soul (out in the cold)
Theres nowhere to go (out in the cold)
Im out in the cold (out in the cold)
Im out
Standin in a doorway
Im out
Walkin around
Hands in my pockets
Im out in the cold (out in the cold)
Body and soul (out in the cold)
Theres nowhere to go (out in the cold)
Im out in the cold (o ut in the cold)
song performed by by Tom Petty
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Christmas Parties
I’ve been to three
Christmas parties this year.
Two were terrible
and one was great.
One had kids running around
and screaming in your face,
scoffing the food
that was meant for all.
The second party,
well that was a blast.
If the weather hadn’t
really turned cold,
we could have partied
all night long.
Now the third one,
which we paid more money
on than the other two.
When we went for our food
an hour and a half late
we were told to use up
the scraps that were left.
The scraps were cold
and tough as old boots.
The vegetables seemed
like they came out of the freezer.
We had to pay through the nose
for that treat.
I think next year
the Christmas parties
they can all stuff,
just like the cold stuffening
that was served up to us.
poem by David Harris
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D. S.
Written and composed by michael jackson.
Produced by michael jackson.
They wanna get my ass
Dead or alive
You know he really tried to take me
Down by surprise
I bet he missioned with the cia
He don't do half what he say
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
He out shock in every single way
He'll stop at nothing just to get his political say
He think he hot cause he's bsta
I bet he never had a social life anyway
You think he brother with the kkk?
I bet his mother never taught him
Right anyway
He want your vote just to remain ta.
He don't do half what he say
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Thomas sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Does he send letters to the fbi?
Did he say to either do it or die?
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Thomas sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Tom sneddon is a cold man
Thomas sneddon is a cold man
(ad lib fade)
song performed by by Michael Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shanghai Jar
Standing in a Shanghai Jar
water trickles down my nose
debris falls upon my head
mud builds up around my toes.
My clothes are sodden, caked with mould,
water splashes round my knees.
The air is misty damp and cold,
I cough and splutter, wheeze and sneeze.
What am I doing in this zone
holed up in this dreadful pot?
This is my own my very own
though why or how I have forgot.
Outside, the sun spins through the heavens.
The stars, like gold dust, fill up space.
The cosmic wind slides through the void.
Somewhere, out there, my own true face?
poem by Brian Taylor
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Cold Feet
He just turned seventeen
When the moment came
He was standing on the corner
In the pouring rain
She pulled up along side
And rolled the window down
And said can I drive you
To some part of town
Hes sitting beside her
With a great big smile
The lady had class
It stood out a mile
His heart was beating
Like a big bass drum
Thinking at last
His time had finally come
He started talkin fast
Trying to loosen up
But he just felt kinda stupid
So he shut up
She said dont think Im fast
cause Im really not
But his fever went all wild
It was getting hot
She pulled into the driveway
Of a big brown stone
He was champing at the bit
And then her heart be told
She said my husbands working
Hell be gong all day
But he couldnt believe it
When he heard himself say
Im getting cold feet
Im getting cold feet
Lady dont ya hear me talking to you
Hey theres something that you can do
Im so nervous I just might shoot you
Ive got them cold, cold feet
Well a couple years on
And our heros grown
Hes a professional musician
With a band of his own
Hadnt had much luck
With the girls that he meets
Might get another case of terminal cold feet
He met a girl not too long ago
She thought she could change him
But it wasnt so
As soon as she mentioned long term romance
He went into that same old song and dance
Im getting cold feet
C-c-c-c-c- cold feet
Im getting cold feet
C -c-c-c-c- cold feet
Mamma dont ya hear me talkin to you
No aint there something that you can do
Im so nervous I just might shoot you
Ive got cold, cold, cold, cold
Upset about it
Cold, cold, cold, cold
You know I gottem
Cold, cold, cold, cold
Said Ive got them cold, cold feet
He increased his quota
Of one night stands
It was kind of a complex
You understand
He would treatem real mean
He was low down and dirty
Now hes gotta make some changes
Cause hes nearly thirty
Cause see he had a dream
Just the other night
He was standing in gods ever present light
And God said, Id like to let your life run its coarse
But youd understand Im having second thoughts
Im getting cold feet
C-c-c-c- cold feet
Im getting cold feet
C-c-c-c- cold feet
Richard dont ya here me talking to you
I think you know what you have to do
You gotta make some changes
You got them
Cold, cold, cold, cold
Theyre getting rigid
Cold, cold, cold, cold
Youre getting frigid
Cold, cold, cold, cold
I said you got them cold, cold feet
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back and Side go Bare
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
I cannot eat but little meat,
My stomach is not good;
But sure I think that I can drink
With him that wears a hood.
Though I go bare, take ye no care,
I am nothing a-cold;
I stuff my skin so full within
Of jolly good ale and old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
I love no roast but a nutbrown toast,
And a crab laid in the fire;
A little bread shall do me stead,
Much bread I not desire.
No frost nor snow, no wind, I trow,
Can hurt me if I would,
I am so wrapt, and throughly lapt
Of jolly good ale and old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
And Tib my wife, that as her life
Loveth well good ale to seek,
Full oft drinks she, till ye may see
The tears run down her cheek.
Then doth she troll to me the bowl,
Even as a maltworm should;
And saith,"Sweetheart, I took my part
Of this jolly good ale and old."
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
Now let them drink, till they nod and wink,
Even as good fellows should do;
They shall not miss to have the bliss
Good ale doth bring men to.
And all poor souls that have scoured bowls,
Or have them lustily troll'd,
God save the lives of them and their wives,
Whether they be young or old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
poem by William Stevenson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jolly Good Ale and Old
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
I cannot eat but little meat,
My stomach is not good;
But sure I think that I can drink
With him that wears a hood.
Though I go bare, take ye no care,
I am nothing a-cold;
I stuff my skin so full within
Of jolly good ale and old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
I love no roast but a nutbrown toast,
And a crab laid in the fire;
A little bread shall do me stead,
Much bread I not desire.
No frost nor snow, no wind, I trow,
Can hurt me if I would,
I am so wrapt, and throughly lapt
Of jolly good ale and old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
And Tib my wife, that as her life
Loveth well good ale to seek,
Full oft drinks she, till ye may see
The tears run down her cheek.
Then doth she troll to me the bowl,
Even as a maltworm should;
And saith,"Sweetheart, I took my part
Of this jolly good ale and old."
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
Now let them drink, till they nod and wink,
Even as good fellows should do;
They shall not miss to have the bliss
Good ale doth bring men to.
And all poor souls that have scoured bowls,
Or have them lustily troll'd,
God save the lives of them and their wives,
Whether they be young or old.
Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
poem by William Stevenson
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Germs
Sometimes I really want to be alone
But thats one state Im never in
Because I know that Ive got millions upon millions
Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin
(germs) I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding
(germs) but they just come right back
(germs) I cant even see em, but I know theyre up to something
Hey, dont touch that - you dont know where its been
Theyre all over me
Theyre inside of me
Cant get em offa me
Im covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
Whatll they do to me
Theres no escape for me
Im crawling with ... microscopic bacteria
Now if I ever dare to go to sleep
Thats when they start their sneak attack
In the morning I wake up in utter horror
To find my teeth are covered with bacterial plaque
(germs) cant get those parasitic creatures off my face
(germs) and theres more comin every day
(germs) I never said that they could camp out on my body
I wish theyd pack their tiny little bags and move away
Theyre all over me
Theyre inside of me
Cant get em offa me
Im covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
Whatll they do to me
Theres no escape for me
Im crawling with ... microscopic bacteria
Theyre creepin around my shorts
Theyre under the bathroom sink
Theyre ridin inside my car
Theyre swimmin in my drink
Theyre hidin between my toes
Theyre lurkin in every kiss
I got em way up my nose
In every orafice
Im gonna show them whos boss
Im gonna get even yet
Just gimme some lysol spray
Just hand me a moist towelette
Dont tell me Im paranoid
I know that theyre after me
Look under the microscope
See? ?
Theyre all over me
Theyre inside of me
Cant get em offa me
Im covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
Whatll they do to me
Theres no escape for me
Im crawling with ... microscopic bacteria
Theyre all over me
I can feel em all over me
Over every part of me
Microscopic bacteria
I know theyre watching me
Theyre always watching me
Theyre coming after me
Microscopic bacteria
Wont somebody help me
Please somebody help me
Youve got to believe me
Theyre out to get me
They wanna control me
They wanna destroy me
Theyre tryin to kill me
It kind of upsets me
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Youre So Cold
- m. carey - d. cole -
Lord only knows
Why I love you so
Youre a heartless man
I dont understand
Why you gotta be
Why you need to be
So (so, so) cold
Oh oh, he yeah, ,oh yehae
So cold
How can you be
So cold
So cruel to me
Ice cold
Dont even feel
Your kiss is like fire
But deep down inside
Youre so cold
You play games with my mind
Cheat and lie time after time
And I know youll never change
But I just cant break away
I dont know why I let you treat me
The way you do
Youre just no good for me
I wish I never fell for you
So cold
How can you be
So cold
So cruel to me
Ice cold
Dont even feel
Your kiss is like fire
But deep down inside
Youre so cold
So many times
You keep me waiting around endlessly
You just laugh as I drown in despair
Never a worry, never a care
I dont know why I let you hurt me the
Way you do
Youve got a spell on me
Im hopelessly in love with you
So cold
How can you be
So cold
So cruel to me
Ice cold
Dont even feel
Your kiss is like fire
But deep down inside
Youre so cold
Made of stone
Oh youre wicked to the bone
I give you my heart
You tear me apart
Youre like a devil
In disguise
Yeah
Oh so cold
So cold
How can you be
So cold
So cruel to me
Ice cold
Dont even feel
Your kiss is like fire
But deep down inside
Youre so cold
song performed by by Mariah Carey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold As Ice
I dont think you understand
Oh the rhythm of my heart
Theres a strong line to mind and soul
I feel it tearing apart
Ive been searching for new words
Gonna make you understand in a different way
When I told you Id hang on forever
I threw my choice away
And its cold as ice
I cant let go
Its cold as ice
Baby but I need your love
And I wish I could have been the first one
Oh to walk out the door
The more I find myself to blame
The less there is to come back for
You wish you could have been the last one
To tell me how you really feel
Cause when you closed the door oh deep inside
My heart it still seemed so sincere
And its cold as ice
I cant let go oh
Its cold as ice
Baby but I need your love
Its cold as ice
I cant let go
Its cold as ice
Baby but I need your love
If theres a message to this madness
Well it still seems quite unclear
If I really need to save myself
Why cant I just walk out of here
Theres a message in your eyes
And you make it perfectly plain
Either I leave your heart behind
Or crack beneath this freezing
Freezing freezing freezing rain
Cold as ice
(cold as ice)
I cant let go
(but I cant let go)
Cold as ice
Baby but i
But I need your love
All right
I said Im cold
Cold Im cold
(cold as ice)
Cold Im cold
(baby)
Cold Im cold
(cold as ice darling)
Cold as ice
(cold as ice)
Oh no but I cant let go
(I said Im freezing, freezing)
Oh no no I cant let go
(freezing, freezing, freezing, freezing)
No no Im cold as ice
(whoa whoa baby yeah)
Im cold as ice
But I cant let go
No
song performed by by Indigo Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold water
Water is cold water is wet,
Water is cold and can be a big mess...
Water is a teer dropp running down your cheek,
Water is the stuff that makes you feel weak...
Water can be good if you feel down,
Water can be bad if you don't come back around...
Water is a thing that can make you feel cold,
Water is a thing that can make you be bold...
Water is a cold, cold thing,
Everyone has water running through them...
poem by Alexandra Greif
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Mary, It's Christmas
You should see all the lights in our old neighborhood
I never thought that little street could ever look so good
I knew that she'd be busy, it's her favorite time of the year
And I don't think she notice, I slipped off to be here
Mary, it's Christmas, and I just had to stop by
To spend a little time with you on this special night
God knows if she could see us now, she wouldn't understand
But Mary, it's Christmas, and I just had to take that chance
Don't the snow sure look pretty, as the flakes are fallin' down
It's a blanket from heaven coverin' the ground
And that cold wind can cut a man clear to the bone
I guess it's time I got up and took myself back home
Mary, it's Christmas, and I just had to stop by
To spend a little time with you on this special night
God knows if she could see us now, she wouldn't understand
But Mary, it's Christmas, and I just had to take that chance
Well, she's started askin' questions
Though she's barely two
Like, if reindeer fly to heaven
Would Santa bring her love to you
Mary, it's Christmas, and I just had to stop by
To spend a little time with you on this special night
Someday we'll be together forever, but till then
But Mary, it's Christmas, and I'll do the best I can
This cold wind can cut a man clear to the bone
I guess it's time I got up off my knees and took myself back home
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold is The Heart
Cold is the heart of the man who lets no one into his life.
Cold is the heart of the woman who has lost her love.
Cold is the heart of the girl who is better than everyone around her.
Cold is the heart of the man who fights only for himself.
Cold is the heart of the Teenager who needs and wants no one in his life.
Cold is the heart of the cocky young man.
Cold is the heart of the Criminal who is not forgiven for what he has done.
Cold is the heart of the Widow who is left alone in this world.
Cold is the heart of the woman angry at love.
Cold is the heart of the angry young man.
Cold is the heart of the one who does not laugh, and will not smile.
Cold is the heart of the woman who feels no love, and feels no pain.
Cold is the heart of the Businessman who claws his way to the top.
Cold is the heart of the child who feels left out while the others play.
Cold is the heart of the man who denies his emotions freedom.
Coldness in the heart is an absence of love.
It is the feeling of Loneliness,
The presence of Anger,
The lack of Respect,
And the loss of emotion.
It is found in the joyless,
In the emotionless,
And in the inhospitable.
It is a trait of the passionless,
Of the unconcerned,
Of the unsympathetic,
And in those who deny the truth.
But through love any heart can be warmed.
poem by Trever Barlow
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Drift Away
(rod stewart, steve cropper, 1975/1976)
Never get to bed before sunup,
Alway get caught in the rain;
Sometimes I might get in trouble,
Never was one to complain.
Now gentleman, you must agree
Aint it worth it when youre out on cloud thirty-three
To be stone cold sober again,
Down in the alley again,
Stone cold sober again.
Never found a dime in a gutter,
Always get my best friends drunk.
If the presdent tries to call me,
Say rodney, come on over for lunch;
Id say, gentlemen, exuse me please
But Im busy with my buddies up on cloud thirty-three.
Yeah, stone cold sober again,
Down in the alley again,
Stone cold sober again.
Sunday is a drag, so forget it,
Monday you can make up for that;
Tuesday, take a taste for dinner,
If youre all right spend it in bed.
But on thursday prepare for your weekend
And let friday disappear into saturday mornin
When youre stone cold sober again,
Down in the alley again,
Stone cold sober again.
Stone cold sober again,
Down in the alley again,
Stone cold sober again.
I dont mind stone cold sober again,
Down in the alley again,
Stone cold sober again.
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold
Mary gets up at six in the morning
she runs herself a bath while she's brushing her teeth
six thirty she's styled and dressed
in the kind of rag she layed out before she went to sleep
noone's there but a cup full of coffee
bored she stares at the morning news
she's feeling cold
feeling cold
she's feeling cold
Mary's feeling cold
Mary files the papers for the boss
of Smith
song performed by by H-BlockX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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