The Camel
The camel has a single hump;
The dromedary , two;
Or else the other way around.
I'm never sure. Are you?
poem by Ogden Nash
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The Camels Hump
The Camel's hump is an ugly lump
Which well you may see at the Zoo;
But uglier yet is the hump we get
From having too little to do.
Kiddies and grown-ups too-oo-oo,
If we haven't enough to do-oo-oo,
We get the hump-
Cameelious hump-
The hump that is black and blue!
We climb out of bed with a frouzly head,
And a snarly-yarly voice.
We shiver and scowl and we grunt and we growl
At our bath and our boots and our toys;
And there ought to be a corner for me
(And I know' there is one for you)
When we get the hump-
Cameelious hump-
The hump that is black and blue!
The cure for this ill is not to sit still,
Or frowst with a book by the fire;
But to take a large hoe and a shovel also,
And dig till you gently perspire;
And then you will find that the sun and the wind,
And the Djinn of the Garden too,
Have lifted the hump-
The horrible hump-
The hump that is black and blue!
I get it as well as you-oo-oo-
If I haven't enough to do-oo-oo!
We all get hump-
Cameelious hump-
Kiddies and grown-ups too!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
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How the Camel Got His Hump
The Camel's hump is an ugly lump
Which well you may see at the Zoo;
But uglier yet is the hump we get
From having too little to do.
Kiddies and grown-ups too-oo-oo,
If we haven't enough to do-oo-oo,
We get the hump--
Cameelious hump--
The hump that is black and blue!
We climb out of bed with a frouzly head,
And a snarly-yarly voice.
We shiver and scowl and we grunt and we growl
At our bath and our boots and our toys;
And there ought to be a corner for me
(And I know' there is one for you)
When we get the hump--
Cameelious hump--
The hump that is black and blue!
The cure for this ill is not to sit still,
Or frowst with a book by the fire;
But to take a large hoe and a shovel also,
And dig till you gently perspire;
And then you will find that the sun and the wind,
And the Djinn of the Garden too,
Have lifted the hump--
The horrible hump--
The hump that is black and blue!
I get it as well as you-oo-oo--
If I haven't enough to do-oo-oo!
We all get hump--
Cameelious hump--
Kiddies and grown-ups too!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
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A Camel
A camel
That walks alone
Across the desert unending
Has no pretentions.
Every camel is so.
A camel
That has a hump large and
A physique strong
Is a marvel to none.
No marvel at all.
A camel
Treads before me at times
Leaving a track to follow and
I carry my small luggage
No caravan is seen.
A camel,
A desert,
A track and
Me.
There is a breeze blowing from somewhere!
poem by M.d Dinesh Nair
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Do not free the camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
quote by M. Kathleen Casey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.
quote by Gilbert K. Chesterton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Camel
i am not ashamed to say
that i have never seen a living camel
(except the pictures
and movies
Lawrence of Arabia)
how i wish to ride on the hump of the camel
touch its hair and lick its tongue
(do you find it dirty? am i weird?)
but despite this ignorance
i must with all honesty admit
i smoke Camel
cigarettes.
I am not horny
I am just being corny
Oh forget me
I am damn crazy!
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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One camel does not make fun of the other camel's hump.
One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump.
A camel does not joke about the hump of another camel.
Some Camels Have Two Humps and Others One
Why do some camels have two humps,
And others one?
'That's a good question!
Hmmm...
To get to the other side perhaps? '
The other side of what?
'The other side of where they've been.
To get from point A to B.'
That makes no sense!
'And a camel with one hump,
Makes this journey more cost effective? '
Well,
That depends.
'On what? '
The number of mirages supporting an Oasis,
One uncovers.
'You have a degree from Harvard.
Don't you? '
Yes!
How did you know that?
'Your reasoning...
Though absolutely pointless,
Has much flair.
It fascinates.'
That's quite nice of you to say.
I think you are wise as well.
'Trust me...
Wisdom has nothing to do with it! '
Doesn't that hump business depend,
On whether the camel is Asian or African?
'You've got the degree.
Not me! '
Obtaining a knowledge that is common.
Or pertaining to one's comprehension and sensibility...
Has very little to do with academic learning.
'No...way!
You're kidding? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Yinged and Yanged
If I never ever see you,
You'd be fine!
And I'd be too!
If you never see the 'me' I am,
I still will not deserve
To be kicked to the curb and slammed.
'Cause I believe I've yinged and yanged my needs.
Doing yoga to get over.
Making my life much more easier for me.
And I do it to get over the hump!
I do it to get over the hump.
Yes I do it to get over the hump.
Taking every lump and crushing it to dump!
I do it to get over the hump!
I do it to get over the hump.
Yes I do it to get over the hump.
Taking every lump and crushing it to dump!
If I never ever see you,
You'd be fine!
And I'd be too!
'Cause I believe I've yinged and yanged my needs.
Doing yoga to get over.
Making my life much more easier me.
And I do it to get over the hump!
I do it to get over the hump.
Yes I do it to get over the hump.
And taking every lump and crushing it to dump!
I do it to get over the hump!
I do it to get over the hump.
Yes I do it to get over the hump.
And taking every lump and crushing it to dump!
'Cause I do yoga.
And I ain't bi-polar.
I don't drink soda.
To stir my motor.
As I grow older,
I don't cry on shoulders.
I get right up!
And I strut my stuff,
With a strength that's tough.
And I...
Do it to get over the hump!
I do it to get over the hump.
Yes I do it to get over the hump.
And taking every lump and crushing it to dump!
Do it to get over the hump.
Yes I do it to get over the hump.
I will do it to get over the hump.
And taking every lump and crushing it to dump!
Yinged and yanged,
Over the hump.
I've yinged and yanged,
Over the hump.
Yinged and yanged,
Over the hump.
I've yinged and yanged,
Over the hump.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The camel never sees his own hump, but that of his brother is always in his eyes.
They've Put A Brassiere On A Camel
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
She wasn't dressed proper, you know.
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
So that her humps wouldn't show.
And they're making other respectable plans,
They're even even insisting the pigs should wear pants,
They'll dress up the ducks if we give them the chance
Since they've put a brassiere on a camel.
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
They claim she's more decent that way.
They've put a brassiere on a camel,
The camel had nothing to say.
They squeezed her into it, i'll never know how,
They say that she looks more respectable now,
Lord knows what they've got in mind for the cow,
Since they've put a brassiere on a camel.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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You had best bow down. The camel holds out in the desert thanks to its hump.
aphorism by Valeriu Butulescu from Immensity of the Point, translated by Eva A. Ziem
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Walk On Water
I met a magic man,
who had a daughter
She learned her lessons well,
but still i taught her
She followed willingly,
as lambs to slaughter
We shared forbiden fruits,
and things i brought her
You may say i'm a miracle mannequin,
Here i come with my mystical plan again,
Although you think i can, i'm just a man
And I don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
I followed willingly,
a sweet temptation
She had me hypnotized,
and still i'm waiting
My dromedary dreams
as wet as oceans
With sand dunes bearing seeds
she set in motion
You may say i'm a cynical charlatan
There i go with my whimsical ways again
Although you think i can, i'm just a man
And i don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
Kaliedoscopial eyes
as you look in the mirror
And the long is getting
shorter as the far is now nearer
Are you just a mirror
standing in front of me?
Am i blind,
can my eyes really see?
You may say i'm a miracle mannequin,
Here i come with my mystical plan again,
Although you think i can, i'm just a man
And i don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
I don't walk on water (oh no)
My dromedary dreams
as wet as oceans
With sand dunes bearing seeds
she set in motion
My dromedary dreams
My dromedary dreams
My dromedary dreams
song performed by by Ozzy Osbourne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ch 02 The Morals Of Dervishes Story 17
A bareheaded and barefooted pedestrian who had arrived from Kufah with the Hejaz-caravan of pilgrims joined us, strutted about and recited:
‘I am neither riding a camel nor under a load like a camel.
I am neither a lord of subjects nor the slave of a potentate.
Grief for the present, or distress for the past, does not trouble me.
I draw my breath in comfort and thus spend my life.’
A camel-rider shouted to him: ‘O dervish, where art thou going? Return, for thou wilt expire from hardships.’ He paid no attention but entered the desert and marched. When we reached the station at the palm-grove of Mahmud, the rich man was on the point of death and the dervish, approaching his pillow, said: ‘We have not expired from hardship but thou hast died on a dromedary.’
A man wept all night near the head of a patient.
When the day dawned he died and the patient revived.
Many a fleet charger had fallen dead
While a lame ass reached the station alive.
Often healthy persons were in the soil
Buried and the wounded did not die.
My Humps
(trumpets)
*sighs*
What you gon do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?
Imma get-get-get-get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump my hump, my hump my hump my hump.
My hump my hump my hump. My lovely little lumps.
Check it out
I drive these brothers crazy; I do it on the day
Look, they treat me really nicely; they buy me all these ices:
Dolce and Gabbana, Vinny and Nedonna.
Caring, they be sharing all their money, got me wearing fly
Brother I aint asking, they say they love my ass and
Seven jeans to religion, I say no but they keep giving
So I keep on taking, and no I aint taking,
We can keep on dating, I keep on demonstrating my love.
My love my love my love. You love my lady lumps.
My hump my hump my hump. My humps, they got you
Shes got me spending(ooh)
Spending all your money on me, and spending time on me [x2]
On, on me, on me.
What you gon do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?
Imma get-get-get-get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans?
Imma make-make-make-make you scream, make you scream make you scream!
Cuz of my hump, my hump my hump my hump,
My hump my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps.
Check it out
I met a girl down at the disco, she said:
Hey, hey-hey yeh lets go. I could be your baby; you could be my honey, lets spend time, not money and:
Mix your milk with my cocoa, puh - milky, milky cocoa, mix your milk with my cocoa, huh - milky, milky right
They say Im really sexy. Them boys, they wanna sex me,
They always standing next to me, always dancing next to me.
Trying to feel my hump, hump, looking at my lump, lump,
You can look but you cant touch it, if you touch it
Imma start some drama, you dont want no drama.
Nono drama, nononono drama.
So dont pull on my hand boy, you aint my man boy
Im just trying to dance boy, and move my hump, my hump,
My hump my hump my hump, my hump my hump my hump,
My hump my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps,
My lovely lady lumps, my lovely lady lumps,
In the back and in the front, my loving got you
Shes got me spending(ooh)
Spending all your money on me, and spending time on me [x2]
On, on me, on me.
What you gon do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?
Imma get-get-get-get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans?
Imma make-make-make-make you scream, make you scream make you scream!
What you gon do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?
Imma get-get-get-get you drunk, get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon do with all that breast, all that breast inside that shirt?
Imma make-make-make-make you work, make you work-work, make you work.
*sighs*
Shes got me spending(ooh)
Spending all your money on me, and spending time on me [x2]
On, on me, on me.
(piano)
song performed by by Black Eyed Peas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Long Necked Ruminant
Long Necked Ruminant
So you think a camel is just an ugly animal,
a camel has kissable lips and eyes like
Marilyn Monroe; and it gives milk, low fat and
nourishing. But I bet you didn’t know that.
When a four wheel, stops by lack of petrol in
the sand of Sahara, the camel with its padded
cloves trudges along, smells like hell, but
who cares when it can bring you to an oasis.
Sweet dates, cold water and languor under
palm trees, a dream comes true, but do not
forget it was a camel that brought you there.
And have you ever tasted camel cheese?
poem by Oskar Hansen
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What Do You Expect?
Why do you touch my pony's bump?
When nothing you say of my camel's hump?
And the elephant's trunk you feed no nuts!
But you want to inspect the donkey...
While you touch the monkey's butt!
'I'm a vegetarian...
What do you expect? '
Don't you mean,
Veterinarian?
'No! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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