Columbus
Once upon a time there was an Italian,
And some people thought he was a rapscallion,
But he wasn't offended,
Because other people thought he was splendid,
And he said the world was round,
And everybody made an uncomplimentary sound,
But he went and tried to borrow some money from Ferdinand
But Ferdinand said America was a bird in the bush and he'd rather have a berdinand,
But Columbus' brain was fertile, it wasn't arid,
And he remembered that Ferdinand was married,
And he thought, there is no wife like a misunderstood one,
Because if her husband thinks something is a terrible idea she is bound to think it a good one,
So he perfumed his handkerchief with bay rum and citronella,
And he went to see Isabella,
And he looked wonderful but he had never felt sillier,
And she said, I can't place the face but the aroma is familiar,
And Columbus didn't say a word,
All he said was, I am Columbus, the fifteenth-century Admiral Byrd,
And, just as he thought, her disposition was very malleable,
And she said, Here are my jewels, and she wasn't penurious like Cornelia the mother of the Gracchi, she wasn't referring to her children, no, she was referring to her jewels, which were very very valuable,
So Columbus said, Somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it,
And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it,
And the fetters gave him welts,
And they named America after somebody else,
So the sad fate of Columbus ought to be pointed out to every child and every voter,
Because it has a very important moral, which is, Don't be a discoverer, be a promoter.
poem by Ogden Nash
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
When that book came out, it was like Columbus telling about America at the court of Ferdinand and Isabella.
quote by Theodore White
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Poem For Columbus Day
They never tell you
whether October 12
was Columbus' birthday
or the day he discovered
America
and somehow America
makes every October 12
a Monday
and if there had never
been a Columbus
there'd be no school holiday,
Paul and Carol would choose
some other weekend
to marry
I'd have stayed in New York
waiting for you to return
from your nephew's funeral
(who was also named Christopher)
there'd have been no reunion
no gathering together
you'd have grown up in Italy,
I'd have lived in Leeds, England,
there'd be no reason to be here.
poem by Rochelle Ratner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Discovers' Day October 8,2007
Who?
Just who
authorized
the printer of my
wall calender
to remove Columbus
replacing him with
Discovers' Day?
Who, just who?
When I bought the calender
sure I did not read the fine print.
Didn't think I needed to.
Is it because he and his men
may have brought
smallpox and syphilis
and based on where they landed
didn't really
discover America?
In fact they missed
what they were
sailing for.
It was a shorter route
to the East Indies;
missed by several thousand miles.
We've know this for a long time.
Why take him off
my calender now?
What about the parades-
The Columbus Day Sales-
Am I still going to get 20% off?
No mail today.
Federal employees
Got the day off.
Maybe it's not
Such a big thing?
Do only I miss Columbus?
poem by Tom J. Mariani
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Hardly I count my faded previous births
Once in Alaska I caught fish and lived in my Igloo
Unfortunately not married till I die.
When Christopher Columbus found America
I was a Turtle in the Pacific Ocean.
I served as a butler to Duke of Edinburgh in the Victorian era.
During the World War (II) I was the Alsatian pet dog to Adolf Hitler.
Now I live in America with my singsong beloved and two old suitcases that full of bygone unlimited hopes.
Sometimes in my colored dreams I see turtles, Igloos, dogs and I play baseball with Hitler, Columbus and Duke of Edinburgh.
*** Many happy returns of the day to Independent America!
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal.
quote by John Waters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Columbus only discovered that he was in some new place. He didn't discover America.
quote by Louise Erdrich
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Goodbye Little Columbus
The plane is waiting, you must to go
goodbye Im gonna miss you
And all the things you say at a leaving
Ah just turn your head and walk away
Goodbye little columbus
Goodbye, Ill see you one day
Goodbye little columbus
Travelling, just travelling
That certain moment, the final call
And that desperate search for cest la vie
Oh what youd give to hear of a slight delay
Ah just turn your head and walk away
Walk away, just walk away
Goodbye little columbus
Goodbye, Ill see you one day
Goodbye little columbus
Travelling, just travelling
Youve made up your mind
And youve got to go
song performed by by Chris Rea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
quote by Oscar Wilde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Away back in that time-in 1492-there was a man by the name of Columbus came from across the great ocean, and he discovered the country for the white man. . . What did he find when he first arrived here Did he find a white man standing on the continent then . . . I stood here first, and Columbus first discovered me.
quote by Chitto Harjo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Columbus
Viceroy they made him, Admiral and Don,
Wishing—good King and Queen!—to honor
him
Whose deeds should make all like distinctions
dim.
Columbus! Other title needs he none.
And they—in wisdom more than kingship
blest—
Go down to future days, remembered best
For service rendered to that lowly one.
Columbus! With proud love, yet reverently,
Pronounce that name,—the name of one who
heard
A word of life, and, answering that word,
Braved death, unfearing, on the Shadowy Sea;
Who—seeking land not known to any chart,
That land by faith deep graven on his heart—
Found justice, truth, and human liberty!
poem by Florence Earle Coates from Poems (1898)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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If America had been discovered as many times as I have, no one would remember Columbus.
quote by Sean Connery
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it.
quote by Margot Asquith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I can not help thinking of those who had discovered America before Columbus did and drowned on their way back.
aphorism by Valeriu Butulescu from Immensity of the Point, translated by Eva A. Ziem
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Write America (Revision)
I write America
in order to form a perfect union
assuming there is a union at all
and not just some Texas mama's boy
standing off to the side
watching it fall
for the strong
for the weak
and for those who refuse to speak
I hurt on their behalf
and for them
I write America.
I write America
the beautiful
conquered from sea to shining sea
known now only for the names
who 'discovered' it
Christopher Columbus and Amerigo Vespucci
who failed to realize
there were already people here
I always wondered
how you could discover something
that's already been discovered
for credit where credit is due
I write America.
I would continue to write America
but America responds only to threats
so instead I just watch America
I watch slices of the American Pie
devoured left and right
but all across the board
the skin tone in invariably white
I am the property of a nation
built on the countries it has conquered
and a heritage it will never own
until the day the American dream includes me
I just watch America.
poem by Harlequin Rose
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Popeye The Sailor Man
(kinky friedman & panama red)
My heart is on my sleeve,
Do you still believe ?
Are you listenin to the tide roll in, watchin ships at sea ?
When I come sailin home again will you be there for me,
There for me ?
Treasure ships of yore
Grace the ocean floor
Columbus sailed for italy, columbus sailed for spain.
Columbus sailed a wishin well, columbus died in chains,
Died in chains.
I dont pretend to know every answer
To everything that life may ask of me.
Hey, Im popeye the sailor man
Im popeye the sailor man
Hey, popeye the sailor man
And I sail the lonely sea eternally.
My true love calls to me from far across the sea.
She says, red skies in the mornin
Sailor take warnin
Sail with me tonight
Sailors delight, sailors delight.
I dont pretend to know every answer
To everything that life may ask of me.
Hey, Im popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man,
Popeye the sailor man
And I sail the lonely sea eternally.
She said, popeye the sailor man
Popeye the sailor man
Oh, popeye the sailor man
Sail on home to me, come sail with me.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I am anchoring off her coast
I am Christopher Columbus
She is America!
poem by Framarz Bagheri
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If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans.
quote by Stephen Hawking
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.
quote by Stephen Hawking
Submitted by Catalin Popescu
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Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.
quote by James Joyce
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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In a turning point for humanity, Columbus received a visa to America.
aphorism by Octav Bibere
Submitted by Octav Bibere
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