The Filipino Politician
When he finds his wife in bed with another man--
The conservative politician feels an ache in his stomach,
remembers the longanisa and the tapa he had for breakfast.
He doesn't know whether to get the doctor or Cardinal Sin
on the phone. He calls one of his bodyguards, tells him
to shoot the man and then, his wife. He takes his .38 magnum
from his brief case, shoots his bodyguard in the back.
The liberal politician pours himself a glass of Courvoisier,
remembers a passage from an Anais Nin story.
He is suddenly the one they call the Basque. He removes
his Dior tie, his Armani shirt, his Calvin Klein boxer shorts.
He puts on a black beret, whispers, tres jolie, tres jolie,
que bonito, muy grande my petite amore. He joins them
in bed, begins his caresses on the man's calves,
kisses his way up the man's thighs.
The communist politician does not call his wife a puta,
nor does he challenge the man to a duel with balisong knives.
He stays calm, takes out a book of poems by Mao Tse Tung.
Inspired, he decides to advance the Revolution.
He takes a taxi to Roxas Boulevard, he begins to curse
and throw rocks at the American Embassy.
poem by Nick Carbo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Jolie
Boudleaux and felice bryant
Jolie...
Jolie, jolie my cherie
Pretty little french girl I met in paris
Jolie cute as she could be
Throwing me her kisses from her balcony
She had come hither eyes
And charm from her head to her feet
Really my jolie was neat
Golly my jolie was sweet
Jolie, jolie my cherie
Wish I had my jolie over here with me
She had come hither eyes
And charm from her head to her feet
Really my jolie was neat
Golly my jolie was sweet
Jolie, jolie my cherie
Wish I had my jolie over here with me
Wish I hadnt left her over in paris
On her balcony
Jolie my cherie
Jolie, jolie, jolie, jolie...
song performed by by Roy Orbison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If the man gets pregnant?
Firstly he takes the maternity leave for the whole nine months
And he sends his wife to work.
He takes his hidden drinking mug out and sips with full of ideas.
He scribbles on a piece of paper and mimics how he delivers the baby.
He calls his family doctor secretly and explains him about the phobia of the labour pains.
When his wife comes home after work he tells her politely; ' Darling I'll deliver the child safely but you have to accept the pains.'
She cries loudly; ' Oh! My poor saviour still you are in delirium tremens and how long it takes you to reach Shan'gri-La'? '
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dr. Detroit
Don't you stop
Don't you wonder why
Life itself pops in
And takes you by surprise
Don't you try to run
It gets you from behind
Like a common cold
It takes you for a ride
Now is the time
To call me doctor
This is a serious case
There's not much time
Now call me doctor
They love to watch him operate
It comes and goes
So call me doctor
They need a special technique
It grows and grows
Now call me doctor
Calling doctor, doctor detroit
Call me doctor (repeat)
No need to look
He's not in the book
The doctor's not an m.d.
What he does this time he does for free
Now is the time
To call me doctor
This is a serious case
There's not much time
Now call me doctor
They love to watch him operate
It comes and goes
So call me doctor
They need a special technique
It grows and grows
Now call me doctor
Calling doctor, doctor detroit
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thats What It Takes
And now it begins to shine
And you found the eyes to see
Each little drop at dawn of evry day
Your smile, it comes back to me
And whatever you may say
Dont let it stop, never fade away
As we got to get out in this world together, oh
Doesnt really matter if we start to make some changes, oh
If thats what it takes (thats what it takes)
Then Ive got to be strong (thats what it takes)
Dont want to be wrong
If thats what it takes
The closer I get (thats what it takes)
Into that open door (what it takes)
Ive got to be sure
If thats what it takes
And now that its shining through
And you can see all this world
Dont let it stop, never fade away
If we got to be in this life forever, oh-oh
Then wed better be taking all the chances, oh oh
If thats what it takes (thats what it takes)
Then Ive got to be strong (thats what it takes)
Dont want to be wrong
If thats what it takes
The closer I get (thats what it takes)
Into that open door (what it takes)
Ive got to be sure
If thats what it takes
Thats what it takes, thats what it takes
Thats what it takes, thats what it takes
(thats) what it takes, thats what it takes
Thats what it takes, (thats) what it takes
Thats what it takes, oh, thats what it takes
(repeat and fade:)
Oh, thats what it takes
song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence. For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded. Begin instead at the word "but" which begins the second, or active, clause. This is the way to tell a liberal from a conservative -- before they tell you.
Thus: "I have always believed in a strong national defense, second to none, but ... " (a liberal, about to propose a $20 billion defense cut).
quote by Frank Mankiewicz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm not a politician and don't want any part of politics.
quote by Calvin Klein
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'd Rather
If it takes never talking
Never walking
With you again
To keep us friends
I'd rather do that
If it means you never coming back
To never see you react
I'd rather do that
If it takes to love and not hate
Or to never see you as a mistake
I'd rather do that
If it takes me feeling
Like I am destoryed
Or me feeling like
You take me as a play toy
I'd rather do that
If it takes to never receive a phone call
Or to never hear you voice ever
I'd rather do that
If it takes my memories
Of us hurting each other
I'd rather do that
If it takes me thinking
Of our love as make believe
Whatever it takes to succeed
You are no longer what
I need
Things wasn't all bad
And I want to hold on
To that
So I don't want you back
So if that what it takes
To hold on to some good
Than I rather do that
poem by Tameeka Smith
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Orang-Utan
A large ape disappeared from a Zoo
And he has been to one of his friends a former retired politician.
He complains his friend that he wants to extract a tooth.
They went to a dentist and extracted the tooth.
Then the ape said 'I want to see an ophthalmologist.'
On the way the politician said' Don't spend so much money and I have my old spectacles which I used for my whole political career.'
'Better buy a new one that is much corrupted.' Ape replied angrily.
I dedicate this poem to Mr.Nadarajah.Raviraj a popular Sri Lankan/Tamil politician and his bodyguard who were Assassinated in the broad daylight today by unidentified gunmen. The Government has already called the Scotland Yard Police for the Investigation.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Lecturer
He wrote on the board
“The husband said the wife
Is having an extra-marital affair”.
He asks the class, “Who is having the EMA? ”
Shout comes up loud, “the wife”.
He takes a piece of chalk, and puts two commas
One after husband, and one after wife.
It now reads, “The husband, said the wife, is
Having an extra-marital affair”.
He asks the class, “Who is having the EMA? ”
Confused murmur of husband, wife flutters.
“Not a word has changed, but the meaning has reversed
With just two commas.” Eats shoots and leaves, eh?
May I start the lecture on grammar, he said.
The class was all ears.
D T Joseph
19.02.08
poem by Daniel Trevelyn Joseph
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the man sitting alone at the cafeteria of Perpetual Succor Hosptal
he is black, native Filipino
wears a coat, white polo shirt
fat and big tummy
sipping coffee and alone
a book on the right side of his table
he is not reading it
an attache case is on his left leg
he is at the side of the glass window
of the second floor of this hospital run by nuns
below is the garden of palm trees and
grass and perennial violets and vietnam roses
he is not taking any breakfast
perhaps he is waiting for someone
i sit over a corner fronting him
i am observing the details of his existence
i know it is another sad story
but he is not talking about it
i know there is no use
what for is sharing another story
about life's tragedy?
will it be another story of a husband
contemplating about his next move
what to do with a wife stricken with
breast cancer at stage 4?
i look around
there is another man in shorts
riding on a wheel chair
pushed by a woman in her forties
an old woman, a child crying, etc. etc. etc.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Space odyssey
The politician is one of the candidates
who was short listed for the spacecraft.
He insisted on his henchman accompanying him.
'I am not qualified Sir' henchman replied.
'Your political knowledge is more than enough,
do not worry I'll do arrangements and you get ready'
Politician assured.
The following day henchman explained the matter to his wife.
She was angry and said 'I don't mind wherever you go
but before you leave buy all these things for me'.
She gave a long list and the things available only in the moon.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Two Days After Learning of Arthur G. Kaplan’s Death
The wound is very present
But not bleeding from the post card that informed me
Blood clotting from the day’s business:
Doughnuts purchased for Sunday School
Daughter taken to a morning’s gymnastic lesson
Photograph with Alamo backdropp required in down town San Antonio
Lunch with wife and daughter on the fly
Telephone call from the General
The busyness that takes the mind from its ache
Perhaps, even begins to assist the process of healing.
poem by Bill Grace
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Purgatory
They are in queer,
A thief, doctor, murderer, king & queen, liar,
politician and etc.,
A soldier is questioning them about their past sins
before they enter the two pathways.
One is to heaven and the other to hell.
'I theft a bible' thief replied.
'then you can go to the right path'
'I did hundred abortions' doctor said.
'turn to left'
'we did adultery' king and queen replied.
'left please'
'I killed a politician' murderer said.
'right ahead and the liar can go back.
'before you go to the left path visit the pathologist for an aid test'
soldier shouted to the politician.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Never Ending Story (live Acoustic Version)
Armies have conquered
And fallen in the end
Kingdoms have risen
Then buried by sand
The Earth is our mother
She gives and she takes
She puts us to sleep and
In her light we'll awake
We'll all be forgotten
There's no endless fame
But everything we do
Is never in vain
We're part of a story, part of a tale
We're all on this journey
No one is to stay
Where ever it's going
What is the way?
Forests and deserts
Rivers, blue seas
Mountains and valleys
Nothing here stays
While we think we witness
We are part of the scene
This never-ending story
Where will it lead to?
The earth is our mother
She gives and she takes
But she is also a part
A part of the tale
We're part of a story, part of a tale
We're all on this journey
No one is to stay
Where ever it's going
What is the way?
We're part of a story, part of a tale
Sometimes beautiful and sometimes insane
No one remembers how it began
song performed by by Within Temptation
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A politician wouldn't dream of being allowed to call a columnist the things a columnist is allowed to call a politician.
quote by Max Lerner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Revolution
More calm than a heartbeat that flat lines
Quiet like a dark street under the moonlight
A phrase of action that's been screamed from the guts of men
Ever since they're first experienced
Injustice, prejudice, discrimination
A word louder than a gunshot
And softer than a baby's laugh, it will pass
Just like it always has. Until it spits off the lips of
The next man who's had it up to here.
Did somebody say a Revolution?
Or is it all in my head?
Is that what it takes to make a solution
solution
not the first or the last to imagine it
Acknowledge the concepts, question and grasp it
Rebel against the I, and bring down the self.
Mutiny me! overthrow you
Rebellion starts within, the time is now
Did somebody say a Revolution?
Or is it all in my head?
Is that what it takes to make a solution, solution
Did somebody say a Revolution?
Or is it all in my head?
Is that what it takes to make a solution
Your Revolution
Purple skies, Devil eyes, Hypnotize
Little lies, Compromise, Fireflies
Samurias, Parasite, Fly by night, After light, Materialize,
Look alive, Stereotype, Do with die, lullaby, black and white
Did somebody say a Revolution?
Or is it all in my head? your revolution
Is that what it takes to make a solution, solution, your revolution
Did somebody say a Revolution?
Or at least it's been said, your revolution
Is that what it takes to make a solution?
Your Revolution
No resolution -Your Revolution
what's your solution? -Your Revolution
And no substitution -Your Revolution
And no resolution -Your Revolution
not your solution
song performed by by P.O.D.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lets Go!
(oh na, na, na)
She hosts a t.v. show--she rides the rodeo
She plays the bass in a band
Shes an astronaut--
A valet at the parking lot
A farmer working the land
She is a champion--she gets the gold
Shes a ballerina--the star of the show
[chorus:]
Shes--not--just a pretty face
Shes--got--everything it takes
She has a fashion line--
A journalist for time
Coaches a football team
Shes a geologist--a romance novelist
She is a mother of three
She is a soldier--she is a wife
She is a surgeon--shell save your life
[chorus:]
Shes--not--just a pretty face
Shes--got--everything it takes
Shes--mother--of the human race
Shes--not--just a pretty face
Oh, oh, yeah
Oh na, na, na, na.....
She is your waitress--she is your judge--
She is your teacher
She is every woman in the world
Oh, la, la, la
She flies an airplane--
She dirve a subway train
At night she pumps gasoline
Shes on the council--shes on the board
Shes a politician--she praises the lord
[repeat second chorus]
No, shes (shes) not (not)--
Just a pretty face
Shes (shes) got (got)--everything it takes
Shes--not--just a pretty face
Shes got everything it takes
Shes not just a pretty face
song performed by by Shania Twain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Am No Politician
I am no politician.
I am direct.
Every blemish and flaw I have,
I accept without regret.
I am not trying to win your approval
To represent your requests.
Nor will I disappoint you...
With deceit to later confess.
I am no politician.
Seeking a way to line my pockets.
I find that disgusting!
And I observe those who can not stop it!
Your quality of life...
With standards you behold.
Isn't my fault at all!
That your best interests,
They have sold!
You selected them to dismiss me.
To keep me and mine in check!
You elected them to suppress my dignity.
To keep my indentity distressed.
You chose them to divide and conquer.
By rules and laws
They clearly defied...
You now regret!
Why me...
You despise?
I am no politician!
My priorities are my happiness.
Not to masquerade with pretentions...
For purposes to make promises,
With intentions to forget.
I am no politician...
To trap you like prey.
And dangle you to capture...
As I make arrangements with others,
To take away the safety from your nests.
To portray in false charades.
I am no politician.
So voice your anger,
To those you believed...
Would come to your aid.
While on your knees you plead.
I am no politician!
I sleep at night.
In peace and at rest!
I am no politician...
Nor a hypocrite you will find,
Who will say something other
Than what is on my mind!
You can bet,
With respect...
I am direct.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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News
He sticks to his guns
He take the road as it comes
It takes the shine off his shoes
Hes says its a shame
You know it may be a game
But I wont play to lose
Hes burning the grass
He take up a glass
He swallow it neat
He crosses the floor
He open the door
He take a sniff of the street
And she tell him that hes crazy
Shes saying listen baby
Im your wife
She tells him hes crazy
For gambling with his life
But he climbs on his horse
You know he feels no remorse
He just kicks it alive
His motor is fine
He take it over the line
Until hes ready to dive
And she tells him that hes crazy
Shes saying listen baby
Im your wife
Shes tell him hes crazy
For gambling with his life
He sticks to his guns
He take the road as it comes
It takes the shine off his shoes
Hes says its a shame
You know it may be a game
But I wont play to lose
He sticks to his guns
He take the road as it comes
It takes the shine off his shoes
Hes too fast to stop
He take it over the top
He make a line in the news
song performed by by Dire Straits
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A woman must combine the role of mother, wife and politician.
quote by Emma Bonino
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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