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Things I Didn't Know I Loved

it's 1962 March 28th
I'm sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
night is falling
I never knew I liked
night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain
I don't like
comparing nightfall to a tired bird

I didn't know I loved the earth
can someone who hasn't worked the earth love it
I've never worked the earth
it must be my only Platonic love

and here I've loved rivers all this time
whether motionless like this they curl skirting the hills
European hills crowned with chateaus
or whether stretched out flat as far as the eye can see
I know you can't wash in the same river even once
I know the river will bring new lights you'll never see
I know we live slightly longer than a horse but not nearly as long as a crow
I know this has troubled people before
and will trouble those after me
I know all this has been said a thousand times before
and will be said after me

I didn't know I loved the sky
cloudy or clear
the blue vault Andrei studied on his back at Borodino
in prison I translated both volumes of War and Peace into Turkish
I hear voices
not from the blue vault but from the yard
the guards are beating someone again
I didn't know I loved trees
bare beeches near Moscow in Peredelkino
they come upon me in winter noble and modest
beeches are Russian the way poplars are Turkish
"the poplars of Izmir
losing their leaves. . .
they call me The Knife. . .
lover like a young tree. . .
I blow stately mansions sky-high"
in the Ilgaz woods in 1920 I tied an embroidered linen handkerchief
to a pine bough for luck

I never knew I loved roads
even the asphalt kind
Vera's behind the wheel we're driving from Moscow to the Crimea
Koktebele
formerly "Goktepé ili" in Turkish
the two of us inside a closed box
the world flows past on both sides distant and mute
I was never so close to anyone in my life
bandits stopped me on the red road between Bolu and Geredé
when I was eighteen
apart from my life I didn't have anything in the wagon they could take
and at eighteen our lives are what we value least
I've written this somewhere before
wading through a dark muddy street I'm going to the shadow play
Ramazan night
a paper lantern leading the way
maybe nothing like this ever happened
maybe I read it somewhere an eight-year-old boy
going to the shadow play
Ramazan night in Istanbul holding his grandfather's hand
his grandfather has on a fez and is wearing the fur coat
with a sable collar over his robe
and there's a lantern in the servant's hand
and I can't contain myself for joy
flowers come to mind for some reason
poppies cactuses jonquils
in the jonquil garden in Kadikoy Istanbul I kissed Marika
fresh almonds on her breath
I was seventeen
my heart on a swing touched the sky
I didn't know I loved flowers
friends sent me three red carnations in prison

I just remembered the stars
I love them too
whether I'm floored watching them from below
or whether I'm flying at their side

I have some questions for the cosmonauts
were the stars much bigger
did they look like huge jewels on black velvet
or apricots on orange
did you feel proud to get closer to the stars
I saw color photos of the cosmos in Ogonek magazine now don't
be upset comrades but nonfigurative shall we say or abstract
well some of them looked just like such paintings which is to
say they were terribly figurative and concrete
my heart was in my mouth looking at them
they are our endless desire to grasp things
seeing them I could even think of death and not feel at all sad
I never knew I loved the cosmos

snow flashes in front of my eyes
both heavy wet steady snow and the dry whirling kind
I didn't know I liked snow

I never knew I loved the sun
even when setting cherry-red as now
in Istanbul too it sometimes sets in postcard colors
but you aren't about to paint it that way
I didn't know I loved the sea
except the Sea of Azov
or how much

I didn't know I loved clouds
whether I'm under or up above them
whether they look like giants or shaggy white beasts

moonlight the falsest the most languid the most petit-bourgeois
strikes me
I like it

I didn't know I liked rain
whether it falls like a fine net or splatters against the glass my
heart leaves me tangled up in a net or trapped inside a drop
and takes off for uncharted countries I didn't know I loved
rain but why did I suddenly discover all these passions sitting
by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
is it because I lit my sixth cigarette
one alone could kill me
is it because I'm half dead from thinking about someone back in Moscow
her hair straw-blond eyelashes blue

the train plunges on through the pitch-black night
I never knew I liked the night pitch-black
sparks fly from the engine
I didn't know I loved sparks
I didn't know I loved so many things and I had to wait until sixty
to find it out sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
watching the world disappear as if on a journey of no return

19 April 1962
Moscow


Trans. by Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk (1993)

poem by Nazim Hikmet
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Field Of Yellow Daisies

We met in a field of yellow daisies
Wild and young and free
And she picked a bouquet for me
She loved me...she loved me not
The daisies didn't lie
They knew better than I...she'd go away..yeah
But they didn't say why
Have you ever been in a field of yellow daisies
Where the air is warm, pure and sweet
Just as if the world is at your feet
She loved me...she loved me not
The daisies didn't lie
They knew better than I
She'd go away.....yeah
But they didn't say why
I may fail like petals from a daisy
But for her love I'll always yearn
Each year when yellow daisies return
She loved me...she loved me not
The daisies didn't lie
They knew better than I
She'd go away.....yeahhhh
But they didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why
They didn't say why.........

song performed by by Tom Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Loved

I loved,
But didn’t speak about it.
I loved,
But didn’t show my feelings.
I loved,
But didn’t expose my soul.
I was speechless
And I was tireless
To listen to your words.
For me they were singing birds.
I loved
And I had seen a wonder.
I loved,
Was not afraid of any thunder.
I loved
And heard only your voice.
You were my only rejoice.
Your eyes sparkled,
They were two shining miracles.
My heart used to sank
As only you touched my hand.
That was long time ago.
My love I didn’t show
As I was only seventeen
And all around seemed blue and green.

©Larisa Rzhepishevska
The 5th of April,2011

poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Stars Didn't Show

we came from miles around
just to listen to your sound
you made the night seem endless
you cast a magic spell
you played the part so well
your music blew away the darkness
we loved you for better
we loved you for worse
but we never took you for granted
your lives were a blessing
but they carried a curse
the night that the stars didn't show
you made me stand so proud
i was lifted from the crowd
the fire inside me burning
the figure dressed in black
sending shivers down my back
deep inside my soul was stirring
we loved you for better
we loved you for worse
the sweet inspiration that you gave us
and i can remember we didn't rehearse
the night that the stars didn't show
mountains may crumble
and worlds fall apart
lovers and friends may desert me
the road may be long
but i know in my heart
your spirit will always be with me
the thrill to be up there
a sea of faces everywhere
i look i find you
we loved you for better
we loved you for worse
but we never took you for granted
your lives were a blessing
but they carried a curse
the night that the stars didn't show
we loved you for better
we loved you for worse
the sweet inspiration that you gave us
and i can remember we didn't rehearse
the night that the stars didn't show

song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You'll Know You Were Loved

Some things come to he who waits
but all is lost if you hesitate
And I was never one to wait
you'll know you were loved
You can hire great lawyers, you can speak to your friends
you can say he did this and that some things don't change
Unwrap the present and burn the remains
but you'll know you were loved
Now you take Roscoe, he ain't much
people say things are ruined after his touch
It's like a tar was dripping from his brush
but you'll know you were loved
Or Stan or Jake emerging from your past
from those love affairs that didn't last
But me, I'll give it my last gasp
and you'll know you were loved
A parrot, a donkey, a dog, a bone
some of us never had a home
And if we did we left it long ago
and didn't know we were loved
Empty as a wooden clock
left in the woods at twelve o'clock
Insides all rusted and spring is popped
but you'll know you were loved
Even when you sleep at night
inside your heart will cry
You can never say goodbye
when you know you were loved
Under-achievers of the world unite
You have nothing to lose except your fright
And together we can perhaps past the night
when you know you were loved
And together we can perhaps past the night
when you know you were loved

song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Just Didn't Love You

For some Strange reason
I thought you loved me
I guess i was wrong
I thought i loved you
But i loved The song
The song that played when we were together
The song that i wish could last forever
That song was my little secret
I loved that song, i wish could keep it
I promised myself that i wouldn't fall
and i didn't
I just thought i had it all
All i really had was the song
I did have you,
but it turned out you didn't belong
There really isn't any happy endings
I thought it was possible, but who was i kidding
Me and you, we were just pretending
We use to talk on the phone all night
We use to say i love you, but it never felt right
I did love it when we were together
but like they say, nothing lasts forever
I loved how we could talk about everything that's anything
I love how i use to feel when i heard the phone ring
I loved how when i was upset, you always knew exactly what to do
But for some strange reason, i just didn't love you
Our false love is dead
and i realized that song was all in my head

poem by Brittany Cole
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Autobiography

I was born in 1902
I never once went back to my birthplace
I don't like to turn back
at three I served as a pasha's grandson in Aleppo
at nineteen as a student at Moscow Communist University
at forty-nine I was back in Moscow as the Tcheka Party's guest
and I've been a poet since I was fourteen
some people know all about plants some about fish
I know separation
some people know the names of the stars by heart
I recite absences
I've slept in prisons and in grand hotels
I've known hunger even a hunger strike and there's almost no food
I haven't tasted
at thirty they wanted to hang me
at forty-eight to give me the Peace Prize
which they did
at thirty-six I covered four square meters of concrete in half a year
at fifty-nine I flew from Prague to Havana in eighteen hours
I never saw Lenin I stood watch at his coffin in '24
in '61 the tomb I visit is his books
they tried to tear me away from my party
it didn't work
nor was I crushed under the falling idols
in '51 I sailed with a young friend into the teeth of death
in '52 I spent four months flat on my back with a broken heart
waiting to die
I was jealous of the women I loved
I didn't envy Charlie Chaplin one bit
I deceived my women
I never talked my friends' backs
I drank but not every day
I earned my bread money honestly what happiness
out of embarrassment for others I lied
I lied so as not to hurt someone else
but I also lied for no reason at all
I've ridden in trains planes and cars
most people don't get the chance
I went to opera
most people haven't even heard of the opera
and since '21 I haven't gone to the places most people visit
mosques churches temples synagogues sorcerers
but I've had my coffee grounds read
my writings are published in thirty or forty languages
in my Turkey in my Turkish they're banned
cancer hasn't caught up with me yet
and nothing says it will
I'll never be a prime minister or anything like that
and I wouldn't want such a life
nor did I go to war
or burrow in bomb shelters in the bottom of the night
and I never had to take to the road under diving planes
but I fell in love at almost sixty
in short comrades
even if today in Berlin I'm croaking of grief
I can say I've lived like a human being
and who knows
how much longer I'll live
what else will happen to me

This autobiography was written
in east Berlin on 11 September 1961

Trans. by Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk (1993)

poem by Nazim Hikmet
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Love You More

Twas 12 am, in the soft of the night,
12 am in the glow of a lamplight,
When you whispered, 'I love you more.
You love me, but i love you more.'
I still remember feeling my heart melt.
Still remember the warmth i felt.
That someone loved me despite my mistakes.
That someone was messaging me, to say hello 'fore i was awake.
The reassuring touch of your hand;
You pushing me over into the sand.
For once in my life, I found myself living a dream
Or so it seemed,
But as i finally found, your words were an illusion:
All part of a delusion.
As the rot which had long set made you break,
And suddenly, my little world was left in your wake.
I found myself gazing into space-
Wondering how one can say 'i love you more' to the face
Then break and run
Spurning the said and done.
My puppy love suddenly was faced with a rude awakening,
As i discovered how it feels to have your heart breaking.
All throughout, i remembered that night, 'i love you more.'
I finally realise you just said it then, but didn't mean it at all-
When you said 'I love you more.'
Didn't know you didn't mean it at all.
Sometimes I wonder if you loved me ever,
And at times I wish you never.
I no longer know if what you said,
You actually really meant.
If there ever was a time when you loved me,
I just can't see how it could be.
But i loved you, still love you like before,
And sadly i've come to see: i love you more
Love you more....

Story behind the poem:
Well, I don't think there's much to say. Other than this poem is dedicated to Chik.
'When it's all said and done, there's more said than done.'

poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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A parable about a real woman

There were six men in her life
And they all loved her, but...
Their love was so different.
The first one was very rich.
He loved her because she was beautiful.
He just wanted to have a doll,
To demonstrate her to everyone
And listen to everyones' saying:
'Wow! What a beauty you've got! '
So, she had left him.
The second one loved her because he loved sex
And all the time in bed he repeated:
'Oh, you behave like a whore!
I want you more and more.'
She was fed up with him and left him too.
The third one wanted her to give birth to 11 boys
As he wanted to make his own football team.
She wouldn't say that she didn't like football or children
But....11 boys! She just imagined their noise.
The forth man was a famous sculptor.
She was a muse for him, his Goddess.
He even made a pedestal for her.
But she also had to leave him
As she didn't want to be a secret object.
The fifth one liked the way she cooked.
But he was always hungry, so she understood:
If one day she wouldn't have enough food for him
He would eat her leaving only the bones.
There were six men in her life
And they all loved her but....
Their love was so different.
When the sixth man came into her life
He proclaimed: 'I love you because you are a REAL WOMAN! '
He loved her when she was smiling,
He loved her when she was crying,
He loved her when she was capricious or angry.
But her food was so delicious.
He loved her when she was sometimes foolish
Or sometimes very smart.
He loved her when she was sometimes lazy
And didn't feel like cooking.
He loved her because she was just a woman,
A woman with a womanly soul.
And she had to be understood.
She loved him because he discovered her soul.
She loved him because he was just a man.
When he looked at her or just touched her
Her soul was coming to light.
He had brought her life to delight.
She loved him because he was a REAL MAN.

There were six men in her life, but...
May be there were not six but seven or eight?
Who knows?

poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
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Loved

Loved
Written by Ricky Wilde & Terry Ronald
Take all your goodness and shiness away
I'll tell you the things I've been longing to say
I'll break it to you just so you understand
The force and control that you hold in your hands
Make me the beat of your heart
Then fall into mine
One step at a time
You have no reason for doubting your feelings
Love isn't always the same
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
(Ooh you are loved)
Live for the moment according to you
And so when the time comes you know what to do
Trust me, I'm giving no secret away
I'm drowning in you but I want it that way
Make me the beat of your heart
Then fall into mine
One step at a time
You have no reason for doubting your feelings
Love isn't always the same
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
You are loved
(Ooh you are loved)
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
You are loved
(Ooh you are loved)
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
Rise to my world, fly to my arms
I love you
I'll make it for good, I'll make it forever
you know you are loved
Make me the beat of your heart
Love isn't always the same
You are loved
Ooh you are loved
(Loved you are)
(Loved you are)
(Loved you are loved)
Ooh you are loved
(Loved you are)
(Loved you are)
(Loved you are loved)
Ooh you are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
Ooh you are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You are loved
You I love
You
(You are the only one I love)
You are loved
(Loved you are)
You are loved
(Loved you are)
You are loved
You I love
You
(You are the only one I love)
You are loved
(Loved you are)
You are loved
(Loved you are)
You are loved
You I love
You
(You are the only one I love

song performed by by Kim Wilde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If Daddy Only Knew

I wonder if Daddy knew I had to become super-responsible and a miniature adult at the age of 12
I wonder if Daddy knew life at home was full of broken promises and full of disappointment.
I wonder if Daddy knew why he didn't ever carry me fishing
I wonder if Daddy knew why I had to take life so seriously
I wonder if Daddy knew why I couldn't have fun like my other friends
I wonder if Daddy knew I never really knew what 'normal' was
I wonder if Daddy knew I had to lie and cover up the truth about our family for all those years when telling the truth would have been easier
I wonder if Daddy knew why he didn't ever tell me he loved me. Was it because I was a little 'man'?
I wonder if Daddy knew why he didn't come to my graduation?
I wonder if Daddy knew how much I loved him?
I wonder if Daddy knew how many times the arguments and yelling was my bedtime lullaby?
I wonder if Daddy knew..................that I knew

poem by Barry A. Lanier
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The Chronicles Of A Dark Heart Part 23 For A Friend

How could I just let you walk by
When every day it just makes me feel like it's better to die
Than try and live without you
Live without the love your smile promises
Live without your tender kisses
Without the hope that you'll love me too
But my love for you is the greatest kind
The hardest love to find
My love, loved you enough to let you go, because I thought that was best
I loved you enough to let you go even when I loved more than all the rest
Loved you enough to mask my feelings and let you be with someone else
When they didn't even deserve you, I should have just let you see me
And maybe the way I feel because now you're gone and won't return
I'm the one who got the burn
I now see she didn't love you because she is quick to replace
Quick to find someone to take your place
When I'm still left here broken, but
There is no turning back
No reversing the past
So I cant help but mourn
That I allowed my heart to be torn
In two and in more pieces, suppressing my love for you, when it was futile
When now you're gone forever and I'm left in denial
Unable to accept the reality
Unable to believe I can still be me
Because I feel like a shadow of who I once was
Cause
You helped me to be that way
I choke back tears as I say
I loved you, because you're not here
You'll never call me your dear
I don't know how to stop missing you
There will never be anyone else like you
There seems like no hope, but maybe just maybe
But maybe I have been searching for something else all along

poem by David Knox
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A Poet

He — or was it she?
was a child who said little
but walked, endlessly, just looking

or stood still for minutes, hours,
and became what they looked at

was from a large family
but still people said, you’re an only child aren’t you

was it seems very happy in themself
but no-one asked, so never said

kept themself to themself, which annoyed
other children, who bullied them

and then were even more annoyed
when they didn’t play the victim

failed examinations and yet
was always wrapt up in a book

occasionally did things like cutting themselves
and was told off but never questioned usefully

wrote poems secretly but was unconcerned
whether people read them or not

was good to be with as long as you
didn’t expect anything of them

was secretly loved by some
who never liked to say so

because what they loved somehow
didn’t have a name

years later, some of them read the poems
and knew what they had loved

poem by Michael Shepherd
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Hold On Lynette The Horses Are Coming

Lynette was a beautiful baby
A true joy to her ma and pa
Free from oriningal sin she was
The whole family was in awe

She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved

One day she woke with fever
There was snow and wind and cold
The car was stuck at the end of the drive
To the doctor they could not go

She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved

Quick hook-up the team and the sleigh
By horse she'll surely make it
Hold on Lynette the horses are coming
Let's take some time to say how much we love you

She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved

Manes a flyin' tales a whippin'
The horse's plowed right through
Muscles a bulgin' and hides a sweating
Let's take some time to say how much we love you

She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved

Well by horse they surely made it
By horse they surely did
Just in time to tell them
There was nothing they could do for her

She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved
She was loved loved loved

Well, for all those ma's and pa's out there
Who've lost their little ones
This songs not about a child dying
It's of a parent's love

One day on earth is just the same
as one year or fifty or a hundred
The only difference my friends
Is in the love you been giving and receiving

Love love love
Love love love
Love love love
Love love love

Hold on Lynette the horses are coming
Let's take some time to say how much we love you

poem by Atty Davis
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Unable To Sleep

didn't sleep well last night
I didn't dream last night
Losing all the battles
Losing all my fight

I didn't sleep well last night
Barely closed my eyes
tossed and turned and paced
until sunrise

I didn't dream last night
Any time I tried
I cried inside
and wanted to run and hide

I didn't sleep well last night
My world seems confused
Like a dead-end in a maze
like an ocean without a sky

All my friends are far away
the hands I hold are imagined
my life in shades of blue and grey
A life derailed and gone astray

I didn't dream last night
All my dreams feel broken
Hardly uttered or spoken
my tears have run dry

I didn't sleep at all last night
caught up in dispair
for all the things not right
not all black and white

I didn't dream last night
my heart is ablaze
with sadness and fright
No way to make things right

I didn't sleep at all last night
My ship must have sailed away
All I can do is pray
but I've forgotten why

2008 © James T. Adair

poem by James T. Adair
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So Sorry (6 Texts Too Long)

So sorry to have hurt you.
So sorry to have lied.
So sorry that I loved you.
Sorry I even tried.
I'm sorry that I met you, that day in the park.
So sorry to have held you, safe within the dark.
Sorry for the words I write, and that place within my heart.
That belongs to only you.
So sorry to have tried to call,
When I knew you weren't home.
But it didn't stop me, because I'm better off alone.
So sorry to remember the look that’s in your eyes,
And the things you always loved and those that you despised.
Sorry to have loved you,
I'll try not to again.
Because as you will always say,
We are better off friends.

poem by Dylan Attard
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King Lear

If you didn’t dream up always new ideas
And if they didn't empower you
To make our dreams to become more real,

If you didn't dance in the rain,

If you didn't cry
For not being a child
Any longer,

If you were able to forget yourself
For falling away into your body,

If you never screamed
In the darkness,

If you didn’t have
Enough courage
To make love
In the snow,
To feel
That snow melting on the ground,

Certainly you couldn't touch my soul,

Because I would prefer
To walk around
And to put my love in my hands
And, like a beggar, to stretch my left hand in your direction.

Moreover,

Like king Lear, to stretch my right hand in your direction,
Because if you really loved me,
I would never let you go.

poem by Marieta Maglas
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Now That I Know I Loved Him

Now that I know I loved him, Now when it is already too late! I'm sorry I didn't believe him, Now I don't see him by my side, I miss you, I understand how much I needed him.When he told me he loved me, Something that took so much courage to say, Something I don't have the courage to say! Why didn't I believe him? I am sorry, the friend I loved, Now that I have lost him! Now that I know I loved him.Its all too late! !

poem by K.R Relebogile Mafojane
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I Didn't Mean To Turn You

Let you take me out
I knew what you were all about
But when I did
I wasn't tryin' to lead you on

Now you bring me home
And tell me goodnight's
Not enough for you
I'm sorry baby
I didn't mean to turn you on

You read me wrong
I wasn't trying to lead you on
I want a friend
I didn't mean to turn you on

I didn't mean to turn you on

I know you
Expected a one night stand
When I refused
I knew you wouldn't understand

Boy I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice
Only tryin' to be nice
Oh
I didn't mean to turn you on
Oh I didn't mean to turn you on

Turn you on

Tell me why should I
Feel guilty cause I won't give
Guilty cause I won't give in
I didn't mean to turn you on

[repeat chorus]

You think that I'm a fool
Cause I wouldn't play by your rules

(I didn't mean to turn you on)

You don't stand a chance
All I want to do is dance with you

(I didn't mean to turn you on)

I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice

(I didn't mean to turn you on)

I loved you for a friend
But I guess this is the
End of our relationship
Cause I didn't mean to turn you on

I didn't mean to turn you on
Sorry.

[Repeat]

song performed by by Mariah Carey from Glitter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Loved You Once

I loved you once, with all my heart, my spirit, body, soul...
I loved you once, with all not part, with marriage as my goal...
I loved you once, with all my strength, as if I were on fire...
I loved you once, with all at length, as if love meant desire...
I loved you once, with all my dreams, which came by day and night...
I loved you once, with all extremes spent on this one delight...
I loved you once, with all God gave, with passion borne of joy...
I loved you once, with all to save romance and not some ploy...
I loved you once, with love divine, not holding back a thing...
I loved you once, with love benign that caused my heart to sing...
I loved you once, with happiness no other man has known...
I loved you once, with prayers to bless yet now I pray alone...
I loved you once, with each embrace, until the day you died...
I loved you once, with all God's grace yet now what sighs are sighed.

poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Man Who I loved

The man whom we loved
And who also loved us
Always did his best in life
And had many to place his trust
He was kind and courageous
And his strength went for ages
But sadly one day the strength had to go
As he lay weak and fragile
With others bowed low
I went to his kitchen to fetch him soup and a drink
And brought it back to him as he sat on the brink
How close to death he was,
I didn’t know
Nor did I know that cancer was his foe
However I still loved him
How I loved him so
And now all that’s left of him is a corpse in a coffin
It’s all that’s left of the Grandfather I know

poem by Emily Gurdon
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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