Will I Ever Be Normal?
tears flow,
cuz i can't express how i feel inside,
ppl joke,
but it only makes the pain inside worse,
nobody should have to feel this way,
torn like they don't belong in this world,
they just want to be normal,
and be accepted for all that they are,
but it feels like they still have to pretend,
to be who the world wants them to be,
at the end of the day,
tears are expose,
from trying to stay strong in front of ppl,
all day long,
it just makes you want to scream,
i can't take this anymore,
i just want a perfect life,
or at least where i can enjoy it,
but my past keep haunting me,
reminding me 'what i was good for'
that just ain't me,
i'm more than some selfish jerk said before,
but i fail to believe it,
i don't know no other way to be,
my innocents was stolen,
way before i had the chance to give it away,
i just feel used, dirty, shameful,
what did i do wrong,
at the time i was just a child who obeyed,
did what i was told and never gave trouble,
and now it seems like i'm paying the price,
tears dry up,
becuz there nothing to feel,
numbness kicks in,
i just want this pain to end.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Pain I Can Control
The pain I can control
The pain that makes me whole
The pain that stops and brings some tears
The pain that erases all my fears
The pain that I inflict with this knife
The pain that might be last in my life
The pain that brought me to my knees
The pain that woahed me full of pleas
The pain that made me see the light
The pain that is bringing me home tonight
The pain that is wrong and bitter
The pain that makes me feel fitter
The pain that my friends say is wrong
The pain that makes me feel so strong
The pain that makes my friend sad, and cry
The pain that makes her want to die
The pain thats not just pain to me
The pain that makes everyone see
The pain that thats tearing me apart
The pain thats ripping apart my heart
The pain that I'm addicted to
The pain I can't give up. Not even for you..
Dead inside
I feel dead inside,
Feeling my body shaking,
Feeling the numbness,
Watching my tears fall down,
The fault was my own,
I caused these things to happen,
Can’t believe that I felt this pain I feel along,
I can’t do this alone,
I need someone to help me cope with this feeling I feel,
I never knew the pain I feel for so long,
I wanna feel as if I belong here,
I don’t want to feel dead inside no more,
My body is shaking its aching,
It’s the same way,
Same rhyme,
Same poems I write over and over again,
Some change, some stay the same,
I feel dead inside,
I am all alone,
Facing this pain alone,
No one there to help me.
poem by Jennifer Rondeau
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My world is falling apart and i can't stop it
i just want to hide,
i don't want to face the world,
it feels like it too much,
i'm slowly slipping,
and it like nobody catching me,
i'm losing my grip,
i just want out,
i want to numb the pain,
but i know that not the answer,
i want to scream,
but it no sound comes out,
i put on a front,
like everything okay,
but inside i am falling apart,
losing all control,
i don't know where it will stop,
i feel sick,
i feel like i'm losing control,
and i must find a way to hold onto it,
nothing is easy,
but if i open up,
than i'm weak,
if i give in,
than i want attention,
it just never seem to end,
i'm hurting inside,
and i don't know how to deal,
it like i don't have permission,
permission to feel the pain,
i'm not surpose to be 'that girl'
i'm a big girl,
i'm surpose to act tough,
but i feel like i'm losing the battle,
it feels like i'm letting ppl down,
like i have to remain tough,
while everybody around me falls apart,
it don't feel fair,
that i can't express myself freely,
the past and present combining into one,
it's a never ending fight,
all i ask is to be free,
but no matter what,
the pain follows me like a shadow,
i can't seem to shake it,
but i can numb myself to not feel the pain.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I keep coming back to you
i open up and talk about my past,
i tell you why i just can't do certain things,
why i will never be a normal girl,
you make it about you,
saying it's all your fault,
you feel like a jerk,
it had nothing to do with you,
it was a selfish jerk,
that had no right to touch me,
when i was a child,
a few days go by,
we start to talk again,
as if everything is back the way it was,
only it wasn't,
what i shared was so personal,
i hardly share it unless i feel i can trust you,
it only feels like now,
you will do anything to avoid me,
like it was my fault,
i felt like a reject,
like it was my fault in some way,
but i was a child,
what could i have done?
you say things that get me coming back,
in the back of my mind,
i know you only want me becuz you are lonely,
what kind of fool am i?
to keep coming back to something that will never work,
i never get my needs met,
and yet i pretend like i don't care,
when slowly it eating me up inside,
i can only be what you want me to be,
just like in my past,
no wonder this is working out great for you,
if i had my cake and eat it too,
i will be happy as well,
but since i can't,
not being with you is the best it gets,
you have been my friend all of these years,
and i must know more about you,
than you know about me,
at first i thought it was becuz i wasn't opened,
it was as if you didn't care,
unless i dealt and sovled your problems.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Behind Hazel Eyes
Seems just like yesterday, you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
Im barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
Im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all thats left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
Cause I cant breathe, no I cant sleep
Im barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
Im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I dont cry on the outside anymore
Anymore
Here I am, once again
Im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
Im torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
song performed by by Kelly Clarkson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Behind These Hazel Eyes
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
song performed by by Kelly Clarkson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let Me Help You
Let me help you to be happy
In return you can help me
Let me help you as a friend
I will be here for you till the end
I will go slow if thats what you need
I will wipe away your tears and I will no longer let your heart bleed
Let me take you away from all your torment and pain
Let me help you to feel the rain
Let me help you to know love is real
Let me help to not be scared to feel
Let me help you to know not everyone wants to hurt you
Let me help you know I won't let you be blue
Let me help you feel on top of the world
Let me help make your vison unblur
Let me help you out of the darkness
Let me help you no matter what the situation is
I won't let your heartbreak anymore then it has
I won't make you hurt the way everyone else has
I want to help you so much because I can't control how much I care for you
I want to make you happy cause it kills me to see you blue
I look into your eyes and the pain makes me want to cry
I feel all the times you've been betrayed and curl up inside
You don't know how much we really do have in common
You look at it as nothing
I know your pain for i've experienced it
I know your fears for i have lived them
I want to take it all away and make it better again
I want to and will wait to be more then a friend
I will get you whatever you need and want
The way I care about I can't stop
I know you see it but are afraid and push me away
Because you think I'll be the same
But I'm letting you know I'm not and I am just as afraid as you are
I know how it feels to see love and feel all the pain from before
I want to help you because we can help eachother
We can end this hurt together
Just give me a chance and I garuntee
Toghether we can be happy.
poem by Jean Pullman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm trying to be open, but the past keep creeping in
i'm only human,
don't get mad,
i don't feel normal,
but i'm doing the best i can,
what you want is this perfect girl,
i don't think i will ever be her,
i'm a girl who numb her feeling,
just so i won't have to feel the pain,
the problem is not really you,
nor is it me,
i was delt a bad hand,
in this thing we call life,
i want to be what you see in me,
it just hard,
when my feelings over take my mind,
i freeze up,
but it's hiding behind my smile,
i don't let you see,
becuz i'm afraid that if i do,
you won't look at me,
the way you have been,
that look you get in your eyes,
is what makes me want to be a better person,
you see, what i'm too blind to see,
and yet, i'm worried that you might judge,
judge me for a past, i had no control over,
it makes me sick to think,
a grown guy can do that to a child,
turn them into their sex puppet,
it makes me sick just thinking about it,
but in my eyes i'm looking at you,
as if you are my abuser,
you are nothing like him,
and yet i'm so afraid to let you in,
let you get close,
i tell myself things that are not true,
just so i have a way out,
a way out of feeling the thing from the past,
but no matter what,
i'm pulled back into your charm,
who can resist?
i love your personality,
but it's what triggering my past memories,
i feel like i'm not normal,
becuz i'm afraid of anything sexual,
it shouldn't have to be this way,
but sadly it is,
i guess all i can say is,
i'm only human,
i don't always have to be perfect,
i can only be me,
it wasn't my fault,
what happened in my past,
all i can do is move on and learn.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Believe
No matter how hard I try
You keep pushing me aside
And I can't break through
There's no talking to you
It's so sad that you're leaving
It takes time to believe it
But after all is said and done
You're gonna be the lonely one
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
What am I supposed to do
Sit around and wait for you
Well I can't do that
And there's no turning back
I need time to move on
I need a love to feel strong
'Cause I've got time to think it through
And maybe I'm too good for you Oh
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
Well I know that I'll get through this
'Cause I know that I am strong
I don't need you anymore
I don't need you anymore
I don't need you anymore
No I don't need you anymore
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
Do you believe in life after love
I can feel something inside me say
I really don't think you're strong enough
song performed by by Cher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two Face
I feel this pain inside me
weaken my every thought
I feel this pain inside me
Speechless like tied up and my tongue caught
I feel this pain inside me
I tried to reach it but it can't move
I feel this pain inside me
Worst than an invalid's liver eaten up by booze
I feel this pain inside me
oh no now you tell me it could of been joy
I feel this pain inside me
now that you mention it look what you cause uncontested turmoil
I feel this pain inside me
I wonder if you care
I feel this pain inside me
If you do then here is a dare
wind blowing through your hair while i sip you fine wine shaded all over by bamboo
What you think dream on? .... my point exactly was there ever this PAYNE inside you....
poem by Charles Payne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I Look On
When i look back
Past the tears and the pain
I don't see alot
I close my eyes to try to see
Love and beauty
But all i can feel
Are the hot tears rolling down my face
I open my eyes where things are blured
I see nothing but scars
Pain i still feel
From now and the past
My eyes cry when closed
They see pain in themselfs when open
So now i must look on
Tears will still flow
For the Pain i still feel
But if looking on means moving on
Pain in the past
Tears are for now
Then i will look on
For these things i already know
Maybe things will be different
When i look on
poem by Sally Minns
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If It Makes You Feel Good
So many heartaches I put you through
so much trouble and pain
so many tears I made you cry
I'll never put you though that again
I'm gonna make every minute count
and cover you with all my love
If it makes you feel good
I'm gonna give it all up to you
if it makes you feel good
I'm gonna make all your dreams come true
You're not alone in the world
there's always someone who cares
this time I'm sure I'm your girl
I'm not going anywhere
Let me show you what the girl can do
I'll cover you with all my love
If it makes you feel good
I'm gonna make it all up to you
if it makes you feel good
I'm gonna make all your dreams come true
If it makes you feel good
I'm gonna make it all up to you
if it makes you feel good
I'm gonna love you through
song performed by by Donna Summer from Another Place And Time
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When I Meet God
And if the bottles no solution
Why does it feel so warm
And if that girl is no solution
Why did she feel so warm
And if to feel is no solution
Why do I feel
Why do I feel so tired
Why do I feel so broken
Why do I feel so outside
Why do I seem so blind
Im so sick of feeling
Its ruined my life
If living rough is no solution
Why does it ease my mind
If looking back is no solution
Why are we all
Nothing but children
Children inside
Why do the gods
Sit back and watch
So many lost
What kind of mother
Leaves a child in the traffic
Turning tricks in the dark
What kind of god?
I crawled around inside myself
It was a long way down
It was a mine and it was mine
And in the darkness
I saw a perfect mirror
Floating in space
When I meet god
Im going to ask her
What makes her cry
What makes her laugh
Is she just stars and indigo gas
Does she know why
Love has no end
But its dark-angel friend
Tearing women and men
Slowly apart
Stain
Dont do that
Scream
Dont do that
Fail
Never do that
Never do that
I want to go out
Dont do that
I want an adventure
Just stay..
I want
Just stay in
I want to make love
And if the bottles no solution
Why does it feel so warm
And if looking back is no solution
Why are we all just children inside
And if to feel is no solution
Why does the whole damn world feel so broken
So outside and out-of-sorts
A perfect mirror
Floating in space
Waves and numbers
But oh, such beautiful numbers
And oh, such waves..
song performed by by Marillion
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Darkness
Tears of black rundown my face
i dont know what to say
as i am silenced by the thoughts in my head
i dont know how to deal with this anymore
i cant sleep
i cant eat
its like darkness has consumed me
swollowing me whole
deep inside i feel brokeness
and dont know why
so much is happening
so much is hurting me
its like an all time low
and i ask myself how i get through this
my answer is i dont know
i feel crushed by a weight so heavy
standing on my own is so hard
its like i get weaker every second
till my bones crack and my heart breaks
every time i got to stand
something pushes me down
like a wounded animal
i stagger and try and stand again
why do people hate me so much
why do they tell me to slit my wrist
and kill myself
im alone stuck in my world
its like a numbing iceilation
but all i feel is pain
running through me
as my tears bleed out and fall like rain
why cant people understand me
and look past everything on the outside
whats wrong with me
why am i not ok
what is this emptyness i feel inside
poem by Sandy Vanity
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Home
Every time i try to tell you how i feel inside
I always make the same mistake
Tie myself in knots
Sometimes even make you cry
When i all i ever want to say
Is "nobody else in the whole wide world
Makes me feel this way..
Nobody else in the whole wide world
Takes my breath away"
Makes me feel so strange inside
Dazed, confused and starry-eyed
I couldn't love you more
Makes me feel the wrong-way round
Inside out and upside down
I couldn't love you more
And every time i try to tell you what i really mean
Nothing seems to come out right
And i end up murmuring foolishly it makes me want to scream
How i get so stupified
There's nobody else in the whole wide world
Makes me feel this way
There's nobody else in the whole wide world
Takes my breath away
Makes me feel so strange inside
Open-mouthed and mystified
I couldn't love you more
Makes me feel so upside down
But you're headed round and ruond
I couldn't love you more
Makes me feel so strange inside
Dazed, confused and starry-eyed
I couldn't love you more
Makes me feel the wrong-way round
Inside out and upside down
Oh i couldn't love you more
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lies My Abuser Told Me
my abuser said,
nobody would ever love me,
i believed him,
so i pushed ppl away,
he said i was to blame,
i believed it,
becuz i was just a kid,
he said i was his special little girl,
i felt like it at times,
but it was not worth the pain i feel now,
he said nobody will believe me,
he was right,
nobody did believe me at the time,
he said i was only good for one thing,
i believed him,
i was his special little girl,
he said i was pretty,
it was the reason he liked me alot,
and treated me differently,
he said and he told me,
all of these things plus more,
i was a child,
it was hard to figure out,
what was right and wrong,
when you consently being told,
do you trust me?
there should be no problem,
but these words still ring in my mind,
how can i trust somebody,
who leaves me in pain when we done?
how can i trust somebody,
who force a child to do something,
they clearly don't want to do?
how can you trust somebody,
who continue to put you down,
just so you feel like you doing something wrong,
how can you trust somebody,
who gives a child a beer just so she will loosen up?
when tears were falling down my face,
and i was begging you to stop,
did you even ease up just once?
no you didn't,
you forced my head down on you,
and told me to stop crying,
who does that?
you selfish prick,
i hope you rot in hell.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nobody Can Save Me, But Myself
at times i feel alone,
like nobody will understand me,
the way i feel,
what i'm experiencing,
and it true,
my past is my past,
the memeries are mine,
i can explain all i want,
they will never truely know,
that pain i have suffered,
the nightmares i have at night,
feeling numb most of the time,
just to not feel the pain,
the deep pain inside,
that is like a knife cutting inside,
without a visable scar,
only what you see,
sometimes you feel crazy,
like nobody will ever understand,
but it only becuz i block ppl out,
block them out from getting close,
i feel like if they only knew,
what i live through day after day,
they will see me as a problem,
to have to deal with,
i'm not just a problem,
i'm a human being,
who gotten lost along the way,
and need to find my way back,
sometimes it hard,
i stay wondering in the past,
as if it where i belong,
than out of nowhere,
i'm back in the present,
trying to pick up where i have left off,
wheather it was a day, week, month, or year,
ppl don't even realize i'm gone,
i walk around pretending to be happy,
and like nothing is going on,
but deep down i'm a mess,
falling down a black hole,
and the only person that can save me,
is myself.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Weeping
I feel so alone and feel as if the world has shut its eyes on me
A painful feeling is received when life crashes
For me life has crashed, I feel so
Darkness has arrived to make me bleed tears of blood
It is tormenting when the whole world becomes so cruel
I end up weeping, more and more
Although, my tears and pain has no value
I deserve nothing since I am good for nothing
My soul bleeds and I weep tears of pain and blood
Die, please let me die god
Life, is not worth living
Disappointed, I am
My life is so lonely and I can live, no more
Let me die and fade away.
poem by Rohit Sapra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Anymore
I can't hide the way I feel
About you...
Anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside
Keep the pain out of my eyes
Anymore
My tears no longer waiting
My resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating
A life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending
That I don't love you anymore
Let me make one last appeal
To show you how I feel
About you...
'Cause there's no one else I swear
Holds a candle anywhere next to you
My heart can't take the beating
Not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating
Deep inside my soul
It says "I can't keep pretending...
I don't love you anymore."
I've got to take the chance
Or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
My tears no longer waiting
Oh, my resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating
A life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you anymore
Anymore...
Anymore
song performed by by Travis Tritt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where do I Belong
I lay down on my bed in tears
Saying I want to go home
I know that this
Is not my home
My home might be
Way up high or way
Down low where
Is my home
My tears feel so
Icy cold like I am dead
I lay down on my bed in tears
Saying I want to go home
Why should I stay here
i don't belong here
I have no love, no pain, no
Feelings
He, She, They told me they
Love me, Care about me
But deep down inside me
I know they don't
I lay down on my bed in tears
Saying I want to go home
But Where do I Belong
poem by Bre Pantoja
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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