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Nobody Can Save Me, But Myself

at times i feel alone,
like nobody will understand me,
the way i feel,
what i'm experiencing,
and it true,
my past is my past,
the memeries are mine,
i can explain all i want,
they will never truely know,
that pain i have suffered,
the nightmares i have at night,

feeling numb most of the time,
just to not feel the pain,
the deep pain inside,
that is like a knife cutting inside,
without a visable scar,
only what you see,
sometimes you feel crazy,
like nobody will ever understand,
but it only becuz i block ppl out,
block them out from getting close,
i feel like if they only knew,

what i live through day after day,
they will see me as a problem,
to have to deal with,
i'm not just a problem,
i'm a human being,
who gotten lost along the way,
and need to find my way back,
sometimes it hard,
i stay wondering in the past,
as if it where i belong,
than out of nowhere,

i'm back in the present,
trying to pick up where i have left off,
wheather it was a day, week, month, or year,
ppl don't even realize i'm gone,
i walk around pretending to be happy,
and like nothing is going on,
but deep down i'm a mess,
falling down a black hole,
and the only person that can save me,
is myself.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm trying to be open, but the past keep creeping in

i'm only human,
don't get mad,
i don't feel normal,
but i'm doing the best i can,
what you want is this perfect girl,
i don't think i will ever be her,

i'm a girl who numb her feeling,
just so i won't have to feel the pain,
the problem is not really you,
nor is it me,
i was delt a bad hand,
in this thing we call life,

i want to be what you see in me,
it just hard,
when my feelings over take my mind,
i freeze up,
but it's hiding behind my smile,
i don't let you see,

becuz i'm afraid that if i do,
you won't look at me,
the way you have been,
that look you get in your eyes,
is what makes me want to be a better person,
you see, what i'm too blind to see,

and yet, i'm worried that you might judge,
judge me for a past, i had no control over,
it makes me sick to think,
a grown guy can do that to a child,
turn them into their sex puppet,
it makes me sick just thinking about it,

but in my eyes i'm looking at you,
as if you are my abuser,
you are nothing like him,
and yet i'm so afraid to let you in,
let you get close,
i tell myself things that are not true,

just so i have a way out,
a way out of feeling the thing from the past,
but no matter what,
i'm pulled back into your charm,
who can resist?
i love your personality,

but it's what triggering my past memories,
i feel like i'm not normal,
becuz i'm afraid of anything sexual,
it shouldn't have to be this way,
but sadly it is,
i guess all i can say is,

i'm only human,
i don't always have to be perfect,
i can only be me,
it wasn't my fault,
what happened in my past,
all i can do is move on and learn.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I am going Insane

I feel like I am going insane,
Take away this pain I feel inside,
I feel like as if I lost my mind,
I do drugs to get rid of this pain I feel,
Please take away this pain that hurts me,
I don't want to be the one that kills myself,
I don't want to be the one that gets blamed,
I can't be tamed,
I am who I am,
I smoke cigarettes like there is no tomorrow,
I have fallen down,
No way of getting up,
I am going insane,
I don't want to die,
Please lie to me and tell me everything will be fine once more,
Let the rain fall to wash away this large pain I feel inside of me,
I pop pills after pills to forget about the past,
As my past comes and haunts me,
Watch me run,
No way out,
Stuck with this pain,
Stuck thinking about the past,
Its time for me to let go and never look back.

poem by Jennifer Rondeau
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Today My Problems Seem To Control Me

i don't really know how i'm feeling,
i guess i feel alittle numb,
i don't really care if i feel anything,
i feel like if i do feel,
things will come up,
that will be sooo hard to handle,
i don't really want that right now,
i don't need that,
everyday i wish i had normal problems,
i wonder if that boy liked me,
i wonder if i will get a A on a test,
what should i wear tomorrow?
these little things that seem soo big to others,
seem so little to me,
i'm more concerned about,
will my actions i choose today,
bring flashbacks to come flooding back?
will all of these worries,
just bring me to not even give it a try,
will i continue to fall down a hole,
that have no way out,
at times i think i over think alot,
but over thinking makes me feel safe,
if i were to jump,
i need a safety net to catch me,
it just how i been,
i require more safety than most,
but i believe it has to do with my past,
i didn't have that protection,
during a certain time in my childhood,
becuz of that,
i believe just the little things can hurt,
i was lied to, betrayed, and lost a part of myself,
it no wonder i have days,
where i just don't want to feel,
all i want to do is hide,
hide from the hurt,
hide from my triggers that bring these unwanted feelings,
who would want to live in a world of pain?
not me, but tomorrow i feel i have to put on a brave face,
walk in a world pretending to be living,
it's a hard mask to put on,
but i feel it what the world want to see.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My world is falling apart and i can't stop it

i just want to hide,
i don't want to face the world,
it feels like it too much,
i'm slowly slipping,
and it like nobody catching me,

i'm losing my grip,
i just want out,
i want to numb the pain,
but i know that not the answer,
i want to scream,

but it no sound comes out,
i put on a front,
like everything okay,
but inside i am falling apart,
losing all control,

i don't know where it will stop,
i feel sick,
i feel like i'm losing control,
and i must find a way to hold onto it,
nothing is easy,

but if i open up,
than i'm weak,
if i give in,
than i want attention,
it just never seem to end,

i'm hurting inside,
and i don't know how to deal,
it like i don't have permission,
permission to feel the pain,
i'm not surpose to be 'that girl'

i'm a big girl,
i'm surpose to act tough,
but i feel like i'm losing the battle,
it feels like i'm letting ppl down,
like i have to remain tough,

while everybody around me falls apart,
it don't feel fair,
that i can't express myself freely,
the past and present combining into one,
it's a never ending fight,

all i ask is to be free,
but no matter what,
the pain follows me like a shadow,
i can't seem to shake it,
but i can numb myself to not feel the pain.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Just Wanting To Be Understood

No one understands
No one comprehends the pain I feel
No one cares
What happens to me
No one cares
How I end up

Anger running so deep inside
I've been hurt on too many times
Pain strikes with every thought
Of how life used to be
Friends and loved ones lost
Relationships once had ignited
Everything in life killed
By one feeling
ANGER

Pain streaks through my veins
As I try to feel what I used to
As I try to imagine
The good old days
When everything was better
When someone actually cared

The pain never leaves
From way back when
Images stuck in my head
Thoughts never said
Life sinks into a hole
No one notices what happened
Disappeared and never returned

Best friends never again
More pain hits
Nothing ever the same
Anger so deep you want to kill
Given the chance you probably will
Hatred, pain, past memories relived

Wondering what is in store
How you hate the life you live
Want to hide
And never return
Die and never be seen
Live a different life than you lead

Get out and roam
You've tried before
Never quite got out that door
Always one more thing to do
Never time for just you
No one ever seems to care
Life was better somewhere else

Death seems so much better
But deep down inside
You know it's no the answer
Get out you scream
To your pain
Leave forever
And come not again
Hatred is the cause of this all

Nothing understood by those who care
They don't seem to know you're there
They hear but don't understand
They see but don't comprehend
Life so simple never repaired
Everything seems so useless there

Killing all around us
Between ourselves
Wanting to get out
Of this world we live
Death seems the answer
Yet never said
Tried so hard but never won

Anger towards ones your supposed to love
No more trust
To him you give
Hurt you one to many times
Permanent was the pain
Bruises from his anger you recieve
More anger you then get

Killing not the answer here
Wishing it was
So you could be free
One more freedom you would get
If he weren't around to hit

Anger can't be released anymore
Trouble is caused to much
Always more pain from it
What to do you do not know
Leaving for good would be so great
Getting out of something so bad
Worse than thousand about to die

poem by Dani Sears
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead inside

I feel dead inside,
Feeling my body shaking,
Feeling the numbness,
Watching my tears fall down,
The fault was my own,
I caused these things to happen,
Can’t believe that I felt this pain I feel along,
I can’t do this alone,
I need someone to help me cope with this feeling I feel,
I never knew the pain I feel for so long,
I wanna feel as if I belong here,
I don’t want to feel dead inside no more,
My body is shaking its aching,
It’s the same way,
Same rhyme,
Same poems I write over and over again,
Some change, some stay the same,
I feel dead inside,
I am all alone,
Facing this pain alone,
No one there to help me.

poem by Jennifer Rondeau
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Two Face

I feel this pain inside me
weaken my every thought
I feel this pain inside me
Speechless like tied up and my tongue caught
I feel this pain inside me
I tried to reach it but it can't move
I feel this pain inside me
Worst than an invalid's liver eaten up by booze
I feel this pain inside me
oh no now you tell me it could of been joy
I feel this pain inside me
now that you mention it look what you cause uncontested turmoil
I feel this pain inside me
I wonder if you care
I feel this pain inside me
If you do then here is a dare
wind blowing through your hair while i sip you fine wine shaded all over by bamboo
What you think dream on? .... my point exactly was there ever this PAYNE inside you....

poem by Charles Payne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Live Again

When you turned and walked away
You said all you had to say
It was over
You just couldnt understand
How deeply I had given all my love to you
I was left alone in tears
Our life together had become a memory
And as far as I can see
There was darkness
And I had nothing left inside but pain and sorrow
I had no plans for my tomorrow
And I had to find a reason
That would make me live again
Live again
Now today
I feel my life is worth living
I have someone who is giving
Someone to share each new day
Someone who will always stay
When I think of yesterday
It all seems so far away
Im so happy
And I feel as my life has just begun
And that the world is gonna be mine
It is this feeling deep inside me
That has made me live again
Live again
Live again

song performed by by Gloria Estefan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Will Anybody Understand?

what is this?
this hate i feel?
inside of me burning,
becuz of what i can't have,
will anybody understand?
a life that unfair,
only living for the
people you love.
am i crazy?
feeling like this?
or am i human?
people don't seem to see,
deep inside a heart is dying,
from all this pain,
that comes from this world,
will anybody understand?
what i have to do?
just to seem alright,
will anybody notice a sad girl,
just waiting for something better,
to come along and make life better,
will anybody understand?
that what they see,
is never what you get,
under all that anger is a secert,
will anybody understand?
that all i want is acceptance.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In my thoguhts i am alone

In my thoughts i am alone
where i fear no one understands
the pain the illness the sadness
the nightly terrors i handle alone
this experience i cant handle of this illness
they call bipolar the way im defined or labled that
one can not see past to see who i am beyond the illness
who is scared of herself who is caring for others more than herself
who will do anything to make another happy
but for one to meet someone who is 'bipolar' thats what they see
unstable depressed manic angry mood swing mess
but what they dont understand is how stable is not in our world
and it doesnt define us it makes us who we are
this illness we battle alone cause unless you have it
you can never fully understand and even if you do i dont think
we can fully understand it...
alone in this illness
alone in these thoughts
alone is how i feel
i cry alone when i feel alone
i sleep to be alone to feel nothing
to feel nothing or empty is what i need
it would be better than the saddness and hurt and
the feeling of alone
my tears fall alone
i enjoy being alone but the feeling of alone is
something i can not handle
to feel like there is no one
to feel like no one can truely understand or care
i only ache with this fear
i try to cry and scream for help but no one seems to hear
so lost in this illness and how to not feel alone

poem by Juliana Willsey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Eating Away At You

(2/6/11)

I was feeling choked up inside
Looking for something that I could not find.
You feel like your chest is about to burst
And every second that passes it gets much worse.

How do you stop this pain that’s
Eating away at you
And there is nothing that you can do.

The pain starts at the pit of your stomach
And works its way to your heart
Yanking, and pulling, and tearing it apart.

Your mind is running a thousand miles a minute
Wondering what’s causing it, what is in it.
Why do you feel like you want to cry
And it is something that you know you must hide.

No one can see what you are going through
Because this is something that has
Never happened to you.

How can you explain to others
What you yourself do not understand
Who is to help, who can give a hand.

Some may say it is depression
And that’s the reason you want to cry
But they can not feel it, and they
Can not look inside.

I believe it to be all the human emotions
Straining to be free. And one by one
They choose to gnaw at me.

Love, joy, sorrow, and hate
Just to name a few, all of them gnawing
Doing what they have to do.

Then came the realization that I’ve
Been searching for.
This is one of the crosses that
In this life we must bare.
And like millions of others
This we all share.

Now I feel elated, because now I understand
And now I can see
All of the beauties that GOD has laid
In front of me.

(through struggles we become strong)

poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead Tomorrow

Don't you understand me?
In the back of all these visions
All these dreams inside me rotting
Like the clock is ticking down
Words like eyes they turn you inside out
To drown you later in your life
You see nothing but feel disturbed
When the pain just comes rushing in.
Words convulsing in full circles
Turning inside out to make
Us better on the outside, so much stronger now.
Can't look back because the past is burnt out
From the past because its burnt out from the past
Because its burnt out tune me out.
All my life waiting for the answers to
These dreams alone of the knife
That's cutting from my life
It's cutting from my life
It's cutting from my life
It's cutting from my life
It's cutting from my
Dead Tomorrow, dead tomorrow,
You'll be dead tomorrow
Dead Tomorrow,
You'll be dead tomorrow
Dead Tomorrow,
All my life waiting for the answers to
These dreams alone of the knife
That's cutting from my life
It's cutting from my life
It's cutting from my life
It's cutting from
Don't you understand me?
In the back of all these visions
All these dreams inside me rotting,
Like the clock is ticking down,
Can't look back because the past is burnt out
From the past because its burnt out from the past,
Because it's burnt out tune me out.
Dead Tomorrow, Dead Tomorrow,
You'll be dead Tomorrow, Dead Tomorrow

song performed by by Velvet Acid Christ
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Will I Ever Be Normal?

tears flow,
cuz i can't express how i feel inside,
ppl joke,
but it only makes the pain inside worse,
nobody should have to feel this way,
torn like they don't belong in this world,
they just want to be normal,
and be accepted for all that they are,
but it feels like they still have to pretend,
to be who the world wants them to be,
at the end of the day,
tears are expose,
from trying to stay strong in front of ppl,
all day long,
it just makes you want to scream,
i can't take this anymore,
i just want a perfect life,
or at least where i can enjoy it,
but my past keep haunting me,
reminding me 'what i was good for'
that just ain't me,
i'm more than some selfish jerk said before,
but i fail to believe it,
i don't know no other way to be,
my innocents was stolen,
way before i had the chance to give it away,
i just feel used, dirty, shameful,
what did i do wrong,
at the time i was just a child who obeyed,
did what i was told and never gave trouble,
and now it seems like i'm paying the price,
tears dry up,
becuz there nothing to feel,
numbness kicks in,
i just want this pain to end.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Trapped in Pain

I feel pain for the girl in me who was forced to grow up before her time
For the girl that has kept every hurt and secrete trapped inside
For the girl that never knew wat love was really like
cus those who sed they did was only telling her a lie
I feel pain for the girl that has suffered O' so much
I feel pain for the girl that cries out just to feel her mothers touch
I feel pain for the girl that has gone through, wat no one will ever get
I feel pain for the little girl who still hasn't felt a certain love yet
I feel for that girl who won't let
people in because of her mind set
because of the people in HER life
I feel for that girl
This little girl's been trapped inside

poem by Shilesha Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I love you once

love you once
.
Wondering what that voice is inside my mind, as I layed my head down on this crazy train,

with tears rolling down my face.

Some days its there and sometimes gone, wondering where all the years will lead me, and my final destination.

Now your telling me that I am home....

I been down some empty streets, within wicked hearts and broken dreams....

Than I feel that is just phase, I will no longer feel this way.

But each time I feel your heart next to me, I feel a strong connection to you, Baby

I always wanted you next to me, Why I had to go through all these bad things?

You make me feel so happy, I never want to be without you.

'But take it all away, take it all away, this pain has been deep inside me.
This something that I can not deny me. Just take it all away.'

But take it all away, take it all away, this pain has been deep inside me.
This something that I can not deny me. Just take it all away.

This pain is just inside me, in my head and I can not hide it.......

You have touched a deep part of my soul, you are part of me I can't let go.

Happy I never thought I could be so Happy. Today you took the pain away.
Please never go away, never go away.

Each time I feel your heart next to me, I feel a strong connection to you baby.
I always wanted you next to me, why I had to go through all these bad things?

My heart was broken in so many places, but you helped me replace it.

My heart was broken in so many places, but you helped me replace it.

I owe it all to you - I love you once and forever, I love you once and forever..You are my final destination

Sita Cabrera

poem by Sita Cabrera
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Feel You

I Feel You
(written by Tom Hensley, Sam Cole)
When the stars go down
And nobody else is around,
I feel you. I feel you.
As I look in your eyes,
Suddenly I realize
How you heal me. You heal me.
My way of giving back
All that you've given me
Is share my life with you
So it will always be.
When we're far apart,
I can reach way down deep in my heart,
And I feel you.
If the night is cold
And I need someone that I can hold,
I feel you.
My way of giving back
All you've given me
Is share my life with you
So it will always be.
I feel you; I feel you.
And if you ever wonder,
Someone right here
Will understand how you feel.
When the lights are low
And I'm looking for somewhere to go,
I feel you. I feel you.
What I seem to know
Is the feeling wherever I go
That you feel me.
I feel you.
I feel you.

song performed by by Neil Diamond
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Words are not just words

i'm confused and lost in my thoughts,
but what you said,
really had affected me,
i felt like a prize ppl want,
once they get it,
there will be nothing else,
that they would want,
never knew words can hurt so much,
words were how my abuser,
knew how to get me to stay,
all of the lies he told,
it was so easy to believe,
becuz they hurt,
they still haunt me,
i admit that i still compare ppl,
from time to time,
it what i need to work on,
i hate that when somebody do,
one wrong thing,
i hold them accountable,
but yet why do i feel so bad,
when ppl have the right to pick their actions,
why do i think i'm the one to blame,
i did nothing wrong,
i feel guilt and shame,
what i have always felt all my life,
i continue to let ppl off easy,
when they hurt me,
i suck it up,
and pretend it don't hurt,
but at times,
i would rather cut myself,
just so i won't have to feel the pain,
and wonder what i did wrong to deserve it,
there are times i know i deserve better,
but the pain from the past,
attract me to ppl who don't know what they have,
until it gone.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Can You Feel It

Can you feel it, love is waiting there
When you feel it, Ill be waiting there
Something has come over me
I cant explain how full and free
I want you to feel it
Suddenly deep inside I have peace on my mind
I want you to feel it
On the last day that I walked the earth
I found the answer to the question that we all search
Where do we go from here
Can you feel it, love is waiting there
When you feel it, Ill be waiting there
Come inside, now you are cold
No colours block unopen doors
I want you to feel it
Suddenly deep inside, you have peace on your mind
Tell me, can you feel it
Its the last chance to take a look inside
Its up to you to change the world for a better life
Where do we go from here
Can you feel it, love is waiting there
When you feel it, Ill be waiting there
Can you feel it, love is waiting there
When you feel it, Ill be waiting there

song performed by by Scorpions
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Feel Pain

I Feel Pain from the generations of mistreatment
I Feel Pain that you may not
I Feel Pain from years of suffering
I Feel Pain. From the discriminating plot
Some people think that I am crazy
Some people think that they follow in my ways
Some want no part in my actions
Some could care less about the previous days
I Feel Pain from everyone who almost did something
I Feel Pain from everyones hate
I Feel Pain from all who have lost
I Feel Pain from the ones who's help came to late
There is a lesson to be learned from all of my troubles
A lesson some might think is insane
You need to be aware of what you do to others
Because of you, I Feel Pain

poem by Patrick Cusick McKay Jr.
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sleeping With The Numb

Waking only to feel nothing.
Just let me be.
Let me sleep so numb.
Pain is nonexistent in all extremities.
Time tics by and by.
and still nothing has changed.
still the same. who cares about that
guy who use live with the inflicted pain by
you over again and again.
hes just a stain and now its time to clean up.
waking to only feel nothing.
let me be. let me sleep so numb.
remember nothing. a nonexistent past.
house that burnt down and with it
all my memories accept for me being constantly numb.
A drug induce state should be one most kids celebrate.
but not this one. it was so fake.
Waking only to feel nothing.
let me be.
let me sleep so numb.
skin melts and still nothing,
i bleed and still nothing,
hit in the head and still nothing,
salt in the eyes and still absolutely nothing.
where are all the feelings
I'm so suppose to be feeling.
waking up only to feel nothing.
let me be.
let me sleep so oh so numb

poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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