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Being everything else than me

it seems like family don't know who i am,
it's like they see that i changed,
they just don't like where i'm headed,
to me it feels normal,
almost like a little too normal,
a part of me feels like i'm heading down,
a simlar past that i don't like where it ended,
but totally different situation,
it feels like i'm not being truely who i am,
when i'm with a guy,
i put that mask on,
and i seem to be the girl,
they want me to be,
either way i still do my things,
to push people away,
i say things i know they don't like to hear,
i do things i know i don't like,
my actions are only based off of,
what i know that person would like,
i'm not doing anything that makes me truely happy,
i'm still doing what makes other people happy,
and i'm the one suffering from it,
no matter how i say my abuse didn't hurt me much,
the more it shows in everything i do,
i just been in denial to see it,
it's a believe that,
if you not numbing your body in an unhealthy way,
it not really called 'numbing'
if you can't recall what you doing,
until somebody points it out,
it only shows,
how deep in your denial,
you really was.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Feels So Good

Feels good
Im stranded on a spaceship hideaway
And something makes me think Im here to stay
Im so happy where I am
Feels good
Ive journeyed to the other atmospheres
And every breath I take just makes it clear
Im holding heaven in my hands
Its automatic baby and it feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
These extra-sensory sensations
Are causing me some complications
Electrostatic information
Feels good
Im playing with a pleasure trafficker
Arriving soon intergalactica
Im holding heaven in my hands
Its automatic baby and it feels good
Feels good
Feels good
Feels good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
Feels so good
Feels so good
Feels so good
Feels good
Feels so good
Feels so good
Feels so good
Feels good
Im stranded on a spaceship hideaway
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good
Feels good
And it feels so good

song performed by by Jamiroquai
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Young Love

how is it possible?
i believed we were like friends,
more like twins,
when did the feeling start to flow?
never thought i see it,
but i'm here now,
what do i do?
it feels so right,
and so confortable,
how do you denie it?
mixed emotions along the way,
is it normal?
to feel so attracted to a person,
i never would of quessed of,
maybe that why,
i couldn't let you go,
and see you with somebody else,
i wanted you to myself,
was i selfish,
for not wanting to take a chance,
because of how it might turn out?
afriad of what people might think,
most of all family,
they might not have seen it coming,
me....showing my true colors,
of who i truely am,
and being happy for who i love,
young love doesn't last long,
but does that mean we shouldn't try?
12-13-09

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Being thankful for what you have

being thankful in life,
don't mean material things,
it's for enjoying the little things in life,
things that money can't buy,
like good friends and family,
becuz in the end,
when it feels like you have nothing,
you still have by your side,
what matters the most,
and everything that can never be replaced,
it not about the fansy food that you can make,
not about what you worked so hard,
just to get at this point,
it for the little things everybody takes for granted,
loving the family you have,
just the way they are,
just enjoying life,
without it feeling like you hate it,
life has it moments,
but it's feels so great,
when you can truely sit back,
and enjoy what you already have in front of you,
because when one of your family no longer there,
you wish as if you could of enjoyed the small things,
instead of being picky,
for what wasn't made,
it's a time to be thankful,
not a time to be greedy.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'VE NEVER KNOWN...by talile ali

I'VE NEVER KNOWN A GIRL AS BRIGHT
I'VE NEVER KNOWN A GIRL AS TRUE
I'VE NEVER KNOWN A WOMAN WHO
MAKES ME FEEL THE WAY THAT YOU DO

I'VE NEVER KNOWN A GIRL SO SIMPLE
I NEVER KNOWN A GIRL SO KIND
ALWAYS GIVING STRANGE THINGS TO PEOPLE
WHENEVER SHE FEELS SHE HAS THE TIME

NO MATTER HOW I TRIED TO DISCOURAGE
HER FROM JUST PLAIN GIVING THINGS
THIS BABE JUST CAN NOT FIGHT HER NATURE
IT'S IN EVERY THING SHE BRINGS

SO IT'S I WHO NEEDS TO BE CHECKED
CAUSE I SEE THAT SHE'S ALL GOOD
SORRY I JUST DIDN'T GET IT
SHARING HER CARING IS UNDERSTOOD

poem by Talile Ali
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One after life wish

Thoughts of you
Thinking about
The things we use to do

We did everything together
We went went everywhere together
Us together made everything better

Now that your gone
It feels like
Im forced to settle

No one can take
Your place
Sometimes when I
Close my eyes
I still see your face

Our happy moments
Are the only thing
That puts a smile on my face

We were soo happy together
I feel so lonely now
Because your gone
Sometimes its hard
For me to come around

Thats why I am better of
By myself
Then i can relate
To all our great memories
By myself

You are truely missed
Seeing you again
In the after life
Is my only wish

poem by Jaycee Wilkerson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Feel So Good

Feels good
I'm stranded on a spaceship hideaway
And something makes me think I'm here to stay
I'm so happy where I am
Feels good
I've journeyed to the other atmosphere
And every breath I take just makes it clear
I'm holding heaven in my hands
It's automatic baby and it feels so good
Feels good
These extra-sensory sensations
Are causing me some complications
Electrostatic information
Feels good
I'm playing with a pleasure trafficker
Arriving soon intergalactica
I'm holding heaven in my hands
It's automatic baby and it feels good
Feels good
Feels so good

song performed by by Jamiroquai
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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From Childhood To Manhood

He wonders why his emotions come out.

When things in his life does not go right.

Demons that he struggles with and fight.

He wonders why his childhood family have stop communicating with him.

He wonders how things have change when we have matured.

He wonders how fast that his life went by sometimes he cry when

someone special die.

He have dreams of close people that he wish that was still alive.

He wonders why some of the people that he loved have left.

He wonders why its tough to make it in life but its really hard to go through death.

Memories that he love most that ended bad.

Which he truthfully knew that person who he could get along with the most out of any other person.

His heart is sunk down, but he is truthfully hurt with so much pain.

Sometimes he feels that things will never be the same when it rains.

He wonders why his friends that are alive have change since we grew.

All that matters if only that they knew.

Money never matters to him.

Because his family and friends was his support that makes him have a strong heart.

He wonders how will he die only time will tell as years pass by

He only live by the truth not by a lie only whats real that meets the eye.

poem by Anteaus Berryhill
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fear of losing what i want the most

i'm lost and confuse,
my heart want you,
but it afraid of getting hurt,
and taking a chance,
i'm only with him,
becuz he knows my past,
he knows me,
or maybe not,
but i feel safe,
not happy,
safe that not much will be lost,
if i take this road,
than be with you,
you are amazing,
in every single way,
i feel safe with you,
i feel i can trust you,
i feel you get me,
in ways i've been looking for,
all of this time i'm running around blind,
you get the things,
i don't want to have to explain,
you kind of know by my moods,
how far you can push me,
and kind of when to stop,
why am i with the person i don't want to be?
am i searching for something else?
a mother in law,
that reminds me of mine?
so lost and confuse,
but yet knows what feels right,
yet why am i having to choose,
between that one special person,
that just feels right,
in so many ways,
than that one person,
i don't really feel nothing for?

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Midnight Prayer

I Want To Know Why It Feels Like I'm Wasting My Time. Is Their Anybody Out Their. Am I Out Of My Mind. Please Show Me A Sign. A Sign That Shows Me I'm Fine. Like A Wounded Child I Hide In My Corner Waiting For That Oh So Perfect Day. Tell Me That Days Here. Has It Come And Gone. Is Their No More Second Chances. If You Only Knew How I Felt. But You Won't Even Listen. Not Even For A Second. The World Has Broken. Its Just No Longer Working. I Want To Know Why It Feels Like I'm Wasting My Time. Is Their Anybody Out There. Am I Out Of My Mined. Please Show Me A Sign. A Sign That Shows Me Everything Will Be Fine. Its My Midnight Prayer As Close My Eyes. Waiting For The Next Sunrise. I Hope It Comes Soon Now. I'm Just So Tired Of Waiting. Its Been Over Three Years Now Since We've Gone Our Separate Ways. And I Still Feel Your Presence. Everywhere Around Me. A Ghost Of Material Things, Just Burn Them All Away. And Just Then It Be Okay. I Want To Know Why It Feels Like I'm Wasting My Time. Is There Anybody Out Their. Am I Out Of My Mined. Please Show Me A Sign. A Sign That Shows Me I'm Fine. Weathering Storm, Holding Your Own. But Nobody Can Do It All Alone. There Comes A Time When You Must Swallow Your Pride, Embrace The Love Of Others. It Cant Hurt That Bad Can It. Just Because Your So Strong, Doesn't Mean You Have So Dumb. I Scream, Scream, And Scream I'm Here To Help. But Still You Don't Hear Me. Forever On Deaf Ears. I Want To Know Why It Feels Like Why I'm Wasting My Time. Is Their Anybody Out Their. Am I Out Of My Mined. Please Show Me A Sign. A Sign That Shows Me That I'm Fine.

poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Not Really Knowing Who I Am

when i'm with you,
my problems seem to fade,
you make me feel,
like it's ok to be me,
like i'm perfect just the way i am,
i like that about you,
i feel normal,
like my past don't defined me,
but when i we are apart,
i feel like my world is heavy,
i over think little things,
i didn't before,
i don't know how to be that person,
the person who appear,
strong, brave and beauitful,
it becomes who i loose,
in a world,
where being somebody else,
is what ppl want to see,
it feels frustrating,
i start to second guess myself,
and wonder if i know who i am,
or am i just be who i see.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Over it all

I wonder what is going on,
everyone is screaming because they are spoilt.
I am in massive pain right through me,
No one seems to care or show mw any sympathy.
How can everyone expect me to listen to their bullshit when no one listens to mine.
I know everyone is not perfect and stuff,
but why is it always me who seems to be taking the blame for things I didn't do
so I could go somewhere on the weekend.
I am another Cinderella and my family don't care.
I come on here everyday to new message of people who actually show concern,
that is sad that my family cannot even show that to me.
They worry about themselves and no one else.
The one person that truly cares I barely ever see.
It makes things hard in this world and no one feels the same.
I feel so drained.
This does not seem like a poem because of not many rhymes but I know many more crimes.
Someone please notice me,
I pushed my family a way,
well they pushed me away from them by all that they have done.
They hurt me,
the family fueds I am over.
Maybe someone should shut up and listen to me for a change.

27/5/2009
By Tessa Marsland-Pettigrove

poem by Tessa Marsland Pettigrove
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Consciousness Over Denial

Denial is learned when you are young
for it is a way to protect you from everyone.
Everyone that hurts you by their abuse
it is a way to make things better
for there's nothing you can do.
Now when you are older it doesn't work that way
for denial will lead you 'not into reality' but totally astray.
Some people are toxic, game players
who don't know that they are-
Better for you to see the signs
and end it before it goes too far.
You have no control over people, places or things
they are the ones who need help and have to change.
Of course You have to become healthy and whole—
Love yourself more so that you will know.
Know when you are doing something unconscious
in which you then start to rationalize-
Now you can stop yourself-
and do something conscious in which
you finally really do decide.
Decide you are the one in control of your life.

Written by Christina Sunrise on March 11,2012

poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Forgiveness Is A Hard To Give (Being Bullied)

Do you know how it feels to be pushed around?
It hurts to be known as the schools punching bag.
Or being too scared to cry or make a sound.
Yes, they wanted to hear me cry and nag.

Well you might know how this feels
To be called fat and stupid and that is all you'll ever be
This causes so much pain, but this is something that I did my hardest to conceal
I wish it was something that could have been seen when they did this to me.

Well it hurt me emotionally and physically with the mental scars that you put me through
And yes it is hard for me to do this
But I am here to say that I forgive and truly want a friendship with you
Forgiveness is a hard to give, but I know it had to be done, as God fulfilled my one and only wish

And that was to be accepted as a normal person
I know that some of memories my never fade
But thanks to God, He gives the strength to have a celebration
Because I knew that He never left as I was being bullied, and laid there and prayed

poem by Frank Pulver
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If I may say

Love comes and goes and it rarely lasts these days
That's one of the things that makes me sad if I may say
It becomes more and more difficult to find a true friend these days
That's one of the things that makes me sad if I may say
Too often siblings fight each other for property these days
That's one of the things that makes me sad if I may say
Greed and desire are what many people nurture these days
That's one of the things that makes me sad if I may say
Moral and ethic less and less people care these days
That's one of the things that makes me sad if I may say
Too many dubious actions and decisions I have seen these days
That's one of the things that makes me sad if I may say
With paper-white mind and evil thoughts astray
How much I yearn for my childhood life left behind so far away.

poem by Henry Chen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Trust Was Taken, Memories Remain

i wonder why i can't find love,
than i wonder if i will ever trust somebody enough,
to ever get close to me,
it don't seem fair,
that i'm left with bad memories,
mostly on how to truely love somebody,
but i can't change my past,
i've been trying for so long,
it just not that easy,
i can't just let it go,
like ppl want me to,
it just not that simple,
it like if i told told you to cut your arm,
yet even though it gone,
you are reminded everytime you look at it,
it the same way when i'm reminded of my past,
there are just some things i will never get back,
but it wasn't my choice to make,
yet i'm suffering from it,
life just seem so unfair,
i don't even know how to see the positive,
the more i fight it,
and remain strong,
the harder it fight,
to remain existing,
i don't know what else to do,
not many understand what i go through,
with childhood sexual abuse,
you feel so alone,
out of place with yourself,
just trying to be normal,
the painful truth is,
that it will never be.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Happy & Sad

Happy and Sad – never come together
They are very different in nature,

Happy is very cute, always smiling
Sad is just opposite, very depressing….

Sad is very jealous of Happy
The moment sad is in, Happy feels unsteady...

When Happy is with me, I am also very happy
But the moment Sad is in, I feel scared and shaky…

I just want to be alone, when I am with sad,
Though I know that he is very bad….

I know I can’t escape from sad
If I try to run away, I will go mad…

So, I try to react normal, irrespective of each other
I know that one is going to come after another…

poem by Sumita Datta
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Summers Gone

Looking in a window on a rainy day.
Thinking about good things that I just threw away.
Looking in the gutter, watching the trash go flowing by.
Thinking its summer, but there are only clouds in the sky.
When I think about what we wasted, makes me sad,
We never appreciated what we had.
Now Im standing in a doorway with my overcoat on,
It really feels like summers gone.
So alone.
Summers gone.
It should have been a laugh, it should have been fun,
When I think of all the things that we did last summer.
Now I look back, it seems such a crime,
We couldnt appreciate it at the time.
Now Im standing in a doorway, thinking of summers gone by.
It ought to make me happy, but it just makes me want to cry.
I was riding in the car with my mum and dad,
He was drivin the car, the kids were drivin him mad.
Dad looked at us, then he looked at his wife,
He must have wondered where we all came from.
And then mum said, dad, you know it wont last for long,
Before you know it, summers gone.
So alone.
Summers gone.
I really blew it all, when I think it through,
I really lost it all when I lost you.
Now Im standing in a doorway with water in my shoes,
It really feels like, feels like summers gone.
So alone.
Summers gone.
Summers gone, so alone.
Summers gone.

song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Today My Problems Seem To Control Me

i don't really know how i'm feeling,
i guess i feel alittle numb,
i don't really care if i feel anything,
i feel like if i do feel,
things will come up,
that will be sooo hard to handle,
i don't really want that right now,
i don't need that,
everyday i wish i had normal problems,
i wonder if that boy liked me,
i wonder if i will get a A on a test,
what should i wear tomorrow?
these little things that seem soo big to others,
seem so little to me,
i'm more concerned about,
will my actions i choose today,
bring flashbacks to come flooding back?
will all of these worries,
just bring me to not even give it a try,
will i continue to fall down a hole,
that have no way out,
at times i think i over think alot,
but over thinking makes me feel safe,
if i were to jump,
i need a safety net to catch me,
it just how i been,
i require more safety than most,
but i believe it has to do with my past,
i didn't have that protection,
during a certain time in my childhood,
becuz of that,
i believe just the little things can hurt,
i was lied to, betrayed, and lost a part of myself,
it no wonder i have days,
where i just don't want to feel,
all i want to do is hide,
hide from the hurt,
hide from my triggers that bring these unwanted feelings,
who would want to live in a world of pain?
not me, but tomorrow i feel i have to put on a brave face,
walk in a world pretending to be living,
it's a hard mask to put on,
but i feel it what the world want to see.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm trying to be open, but the past keep creeping in

i'm only human,
don't get mad,
i don't feel normal,
but i'm doing the best i can,
what you want is this perfect girl,
i don't think i will ever be her,

i'm a girl who numb her feeling,
just so i won't have to feel the pain,
the problem is not really you,
nor is it me,
i was delt a bad hand,
in this thing we call life,

i want to be what you see in me,
it just hard,
when my feelings over take my mind,
i freeze up,
but it's hiding behind my smile,
i don't let you see,

becuz i'm afraid that if i do,
you won't look at me,
the way you have been,
that look you get in your eyes,
is what makes me want to be a better person,
you see, what i'm too blind to see,

and yet, i'm worried that you might judge,
judge me for a past, i had no control over,
it makes me sick to think,
a grown guy can do that to a child,
turn them into their sex puppet,
it makes me sick just thinking about it,

but in my eyes i'm looking at you,
as if you are my abuser,
you are nothing like him,
and yet i'm so afraid to let you in,
let you get close,
i tell myself things that are not true,

just so i have a way out,
a way out of feeling the thing from the past,
but no matter what,
i'm pulled back into your charm,
who can resist?
i love your personality,

but it's what triggering my past memories,
i feel like i'm not normal,
becuz i'm afraid of anything sexual,
it shouldn't have to be this way,
but sadly it is,
i guess all i can say is,

i'm only human,
i don't always have to be perfect,
i can only be me,
it wasn't my fault,
what happened in my past,
all i can do is move on and learn.

poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Feels Like Home

something in your eyes
makes me wanna lose myself
makes me wanna lose myself
in your heart
something in your voice
makes my heart beat fast
hope this feeling will last
the rest of my life
if you knew
how lonely my life has been
and how low i've felt for so long
if you knew
i wanted someone to some along
and change my world
the way you've done
it feels like home
feels like home to me
feels like i'm on my way back
where i come from
feels like home
feels like home to me
feels like i'm on my wayback
where i'm from
with your embrace
down a long dark street
and a sigh of wind in the night
it's alright
cause i have you here with me
and i can almost see
the dark feels light
if you knew
how much this moment means to me
and how long i've waited for your touch
if you knew
i wanted someone to come along
i never thought i'd love anyone
so much
feels like home
feels like home to me
feels like i'm on my way to where i come from
feels like home to me
feels like home to me
feels like i'm on my way back to where i belong
feels like i'm on my way back to where i belong

song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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