0357 On not thinking about people you thought you loved
I’d been reading some poems with
– for the first time in my life that I remember –
‘a lump in my throat’; and a pricking in my eyes,
and a sense of the awesome power of that poet
and of poetry itself; and self-criticism
mixed up with envy, wishing I had
that sort of poetic power myself;
and it seemed to call for some sort of
formal acknowledgement of this,
some ritual of gratitude – not necessarily
the darkened room, the candle swaying gently,
the kneeling – but something inner that
was beyond selfishness, some worthy
sacrifice, surrender.
Perhaps, I thought, the thought
of that would have to suffice.
Then quite out of the blue – or so it seemed, but maybe not –
came this painful thought:
that never for a single moment – a single moment! –
in my life, had I ever given thought
to what my mother was like, living her life
before I was born
and I was overcome, stunned, appalled,
at the hugeness of my selfishness,
the smallness of my self-centred world
that I, who pride myself on my imagination,
lacked the imagination even to think of those I love and loved
as existing without me in the picture…
of course, there are photographs –
studio portraits, snaps,
solemn-faced groups with hockey sticks;
the pride of motherhood;
and yet I’d looked at all those without
really thinking of her being her;
but, where to start? The young girl
as her life slowly formed around her?
the teenage dreams; the hopes of marriage;
of giving a loving husband
the greatest living present she could give, and then
the two miscarriages before I arrived
to strut about my centre-stage?
It didn’t work.
and so I’m left with the stark, bare fact
to ponder at my leisure:
I never for a moment thought
of my mother existing as herself
without my being there.
And I thought I loved her, totally. So much
for love’s imagination.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Related quotes
Helen Oyibo Onojovwo [ For Your Self Denials, Which Has Made Me What I Am ]
Three decades ago
When you thought
You where going have me
From dad, you faced persecution
And I thought you where
Going to murder me.
,
Two decades ago
When you had me
And it seemed the world
Was coming down on you,
From dad you faced persecution
And I thought you where
Going to abandon me.
.
Years ago when I was goin
To be a man
And the burden was becoming
Too great for you alone,
Me and my sisters,
On your shoulders alone.
And I thought you were going
To give up on us.
But yet, you did not
In your greatest suffering
You never left us to suffer alone,
In your greatest need,
You did not sell us out
Instead you gave us life
And kept us alive
My lioness!
If I were to be born again
I would come through you
You had been more than a father
A mother, a brother, and a sister
All put together
And I'm always proud,
To call you my mother.
poem by Efe Benjamin
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I Didn't Think I Had The Strength To Love Again
I thought I didn't have the strength to love again! ! ! !
I didn't believe in the power of love until you came in my life and loved what I thought was was gone in me.
The person who became covered with seasons of unwanted stuff and I felt like I gave so much of me that I became empty.
And it was at that place that I just wanted to give up on love because I felt that love didn't love me no more, and was sent to drain my heart to the very core.
But when I first saw you, you help me see that I was giving so much of me away that I didn't save anything nothing. And a tear fell from my eyes and in time I truly felt your love poured back into my life! ! ! ! when I thought I didn't have the strength to love again! ! ! !
poem by Clarence Williams
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I Thought Id Seen Everything
(r.j. mutt lange/huey lewis)
(track 7 - time 3:58)
Here I am a single guy
Ive seen a lot in this crazy life
There you are, what can I say
I guess you took my breath away
Something in your eyes took me by surprise
cause when I looked at you something you do
Is telling me more than I ever knew, oh baby
I thought Id seen everything, til I saw you
I thought Id seen everything baby I thought I knew
Now here I am alone with you
What am I supposed to do
Should I stay or should I go
Something tells me I should know
Its something in your touch that makes me feel so much
You took me by surprise I realize
And now I cant believe my eyes, oh baby
I thought Id seen everything, til I saw you
I thought Id seen everything, baby I thought I knew
Ive been around the world, seen a lot of girls
In and out of love til I had enough
I thought I had everything, til I had you, oh baby
Baby let your lovin take me all the way
I thought Id seen everything, til I saw you
I thought Id seen everything, baby I thought I knew
I thought Id seen everything, oh baby
song performed by by Diamond Rio
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love is....
Love is the greatest gift of life
Love is the greatest bond
Between a husband and wife
Love is unbelievable
Love is humble
Love is a golden gamble
Love is life’s symbol
Love is mysterious
Love is hilarious
Its power enormous
Love is the greatest trial of life
While taking life’s test drive
Love is the single element
In any moment to hold on to survive
Love is smile
Love is a mother’s strength
Love is a father’s pride
Love is a friend’s support
Love is united kindness
Love is compassion
Love is affection
Love is the greatest joy of life
Give love, do not deprive
Without it, we shall not strive on!
Love is for friends
Love is for family
Love is for lovers
Love is for all
Love me for me
As I love you for you
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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Life and Death, How Ironic
Life, it described my Mother
Life, she was the image
Life, she was healthy
Life, she loved every day
Life, you saw it in her eyes
Life, you heard it in her voice
Life, how ironic it could be
Death, the impossible
Death, too somber a thought for her
Death, she would live a long, long time before it would confront her
Death, sickness maybe, but there is always a cure
Death, not even a thought in the doctor’s mind
Death, it now replaced life
Life and death, my mother passed away with a look of peace on her face
She died knowing that she lived every moment to the fullest.
poem by Janice Karp
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Epiphany
EPIPHANY
Looking outside I could only see the darkness approach
Looking into my life I could see my own reproach
So I thought by looking into her eyes I would see what I had
For in a moment it would all be lost.
Gone in a second, tossed away, laid to down like the dust on dry lands
I looked to my side one more time
I looked in to her eyes for the very last time.
All I wanted was to see was the beauty inside.
Life was her name, a gift I had
Life was her name, a jewel I took for granted
And there she was flashing before my eyes
I looked into my life and I saw a monster inside
With a gander, I saw the emptiness inside
A sea so great, a cup full to the brim, full of nothing but sweet delights
Delighted in a moment but never satisfied
Delights I deemed the light, pleasures that assured me treasures
But at the end of it all, just another foggy night
So misguided by another mirage in sight
I thought I was safe because I kept running
Running away from the pain and insecurities
I thought I was secure because I felt unassailable
Unassailable because every bottle I popped whispered me hope and every woman on my lap reassured me a magnate
I thought I was untroubled because I was able to grapple
Grapple onto shattered dreams, my own jigsaw that I kept in a box
They told me YOLO, guess I did it well
Lived each moment to the fullest, the best this world to offer
But still my life had no meaning; even the mirror called me a hopeless endeavour.
If this was my last what would be left of my legacy
Empty bottles? Blurry nights? Pretty women under covers?
Surely there had to be more to life
Wish I had seen a life worth living and dying for.
poem by Sir T.A.E.P.S
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Then I Met You
Then I met you
Thought that Id be happy
Going to be so happy
Living life alone and never sharing anything
Thought that I was finished
Thought that I was complete
Thought that I was whole instead of being half of something
Thought that I was growing
Growing older, wiser
Understanding why this world held nothing for my spirit
Thought that I was destined
Destined to be nothing
Destined to be nothing in this world and then I met you.
I met you
Thought that God had failed me
Thought my prayers were useless
Thought that he would never give the chance for me to praise him
Thought the book was written
Thought the game had ended
Thought the song was sung and I could never sing another
Thought my faith was misplaced
Thought my back was broken
Broken by a weight that I was never fit to carry
Thought I knew this city
Thought I knew all about it
And then one night I went to morningside and you were waiting
I met you
song performed by by Proclaimers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Troy
She thought it is real love
But she also seeks for freedom
He thought it is a gift of god
But it is also a hidden curse
They thought it's only a matter of heart
But it becomes a fate of the country
He wants his love back
But actually it is his wounded pride
He excuses it as a battle of honor
But it is actually a war of greed
They thought it is a fair consequence
They didn't count the sacrifice the others should make
Why for love they all could hate
Why for life they all could hurt
He doesn't care about love
All he wants is the glory
He thought it is to fulfill the pledge
Now all he yearns is to go home
They thought it is a simple mission
But actually it forces them to question their loyalty
He thought it is love worth to protect
Even though it costs his life
He always expected to be a great ruler for his kingdom
But he could put it aside and be a good father
They thought it's a part of their duty
But it also a choice of their destiny
Why hero should raise from tragedy
Why lover should bloom from enemy
He thought that love is courage
He wants to prove it by becoming a warrior
He acts like he is a respectable ally
Though he feels like walking on the tip of the sword
They thought they have control for what they doing
But in the end of the day what they got
She has a warning about love
But no one would ever listen to her
She has long be abandoned
Now she would get her revenge
They thought they are too weak to involve with their future
Now they'll struggle with their own power
Why men leave only to fight
Why women left only to pray
When the divine lead their mortal player
And human trapped in their desire
The legend would be born
And the myth would be written
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Black And White World
I was looking at the black and white world
it seemed so exciting
if you'd only put me back to back with that girl
when the night's inviting
with just a little lighting
there'll never be days like that again
when I was just a boy and men were men
you'd never go from moment to moment
you're the living double of a single fiction
you're the very colour poets compliment
cause you feel the fingers friction
it's a freeze frame, still it's real life
you don't want to look
cause you've seen the film and read the book
I was looking at the black and white world
trying to name some pin-up
in those days she was just a beautiful girl
now she's framed and hung up
I thought she was younger until
I saw her last night in close detail
though they all fade away when you're so pale
it's more than just a physical attraction
starts with a face and ends up a fixation
but you're never going to feel a fraction
the way it used to work on your imagination
when you were looking at a black and white world
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0257 When the Heart Melts
sometimes,
some wonder times,
I read a poem here and
instantly want, because
of the love of poetry
or goodness, or truth, or beauty, or
whatever, to
live the life
of the poet who
wrote it
though
on reflection
that might not work out
or, I might not know
I'd exchanged lives!
but
at the moment I thought it
the thought was pure because
thanks to poetry
and the very human poet
our hearts were indeed
as one
(for Oscar Mireles)
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Why Didn't You Call Me
We went out one night
Everything went right
We got something started
It was outta sight
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you again
Bt the phone I wait
String into space
Thinking about our first kiss
Out on our first date
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you again
Why don't you call me again?
And I'm gonna ask
When I see you again
Thought you would be my man my lover my friend
I never thought it would end so quickly
It would end
I've resorted to
Hanging up on you
I know you know it's me
How else will I talk to you
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you again
Why don't you call me again?
And I'm gonna ask
When I see you again
Thought you would be my man my lover my friend
I never thought it would end so quickly
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you
I thought I'd see you
I thought I'd see you again
song performed by by Macy Gray from On How Life Is
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Thought I Cannot Complete
The thought I cannot complete,
This is the thought I cannot complete,
The thought of the life I lead,
The thought of the wonderful world I live in.
Thinking am I worth living in this precious world which we destroy for our survival,
Are we born to rule on this earth or are we born to serve on this earth.
Are we born to control the nature we cannot conserve, is this really the free world they claim to be, are we yet understanding the meaning of life.
This is the thought I cannot complete,
They say the brain is intellectual yet others believe money is power and so we claim to live in the free world we cannot afford.
I used to think religion is an individual belief though now I got caught in the world where i'm forced to believe even the fabricate religion yet I stand none credulous.
Does resurrection exist nor heaven and hell we told we will reach according to our good and evil deeds, or will I perish so the young soul shall be born,
This are the thoughts I cannot complete.
poem by Sefofane Shabalala
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Confused
I thought I knew
Thought I may have figured it out
But
Then
It became so confusing
And
Now
I'm just not so sure
Of
What I thought I understood
I thought I could be certain
Thought I was able to see
With
Some sort of certainty
Even though
How could I be
So
Confident
When, really
I didn't know
Anything
It's pieces of a puzzle
I'm trying to solve
With limited clues
Or
It could be
My overactive imagination
Playing tricks on me
Letting me see
What I want to see
So
I'm sitting
I'm waiting
I figure perhaps
Eventually
If something is
Then, something will
Reveal itself
Of it's own accord
And, reveal itself
With some clarity
Meanwhile
I'm stopping
With the assumptions I made
Because
I thought I figured it out
But
Now
I'm hesitating
I'm halting
I don't mean for it to impede any progress I've made
If I truly made any progress at all
I'm second guessing myself
But
I have to say
It's all because
I'm a bit confused.
poem by Rabia Minhas
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Thought
Thought, I love thought.
But not the juggling and twisting of already existent ideas
I despise that self-important game.
Thought is the welling up of unknown life into consciousness,
Thought is the testing of statements on the touchstone of consciousness,
Thought is gazing onto the face of life, and reading what can be read,
Thought is pondering over experience, and coming to conclusion.
Thought is not a trick, or an exercise, or a set of dodges,
Thought is a man in his wholeness, wholly attending.
poem by David Herbert Lawrence
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Now!
Out of your whole life give but a moment!
All of your life that has gone before,
All to come after it, -- so you ignore,
So you make perfect the present, condense,
In a rapture of rage, for perfection's endowment,
Thought and feeling and soul and sense,
Merged in a moment which gives me at last
You around me for once, you beneath me, above me --
Me, sure that, despite of time future, time past,
This tick of life-time's one moment you love me!
How long such suspension may linger? Ah, Sweet,
The moment eternal -- just that and no more --
When ecstasy's utmost we clutch at the core,
While cheeks burn, arms open, eyes shut, and lips meet!
poem by Robert Browning
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Black & White World
I was looking at the black and white world
It seemed so exciting
If youd only put me back to back with that girl
When the nights inviting
With just a little lighting
Therell never be days like that again
When I was just a boy and men were men
You never go from moment to moment
Youre the living double of a single fiction
Youre very colourful with your compliments
As you feel the fingers friction
Its a freeze-frame
Still its real life
You dont want to look
Cause youve seen the film and youve read the book
I was looking at the black and white world
Trying to name some pin-up
Those days she was just a beautiful girl
Now shes framed and hung up
I thought she was young
Up until I saw her last night in close detail
Though they all fade away when youre so pale
Its more than just a physical attraction
It starts with a face and ends up a fixation
But youre never gonna feel a fraction
Of the way it used to work on your imagination
When you were looking at the black and white world...
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0007 I thought of her
and suddenly this morning, I thought of her;
not in the Christmas way -
thinking of you at this time,
we must meet, sometime in the New Year…
but with the sense of loss
and the sense of gratitude
so strongly present together
that there’s no point
in balancing the two; they live in
two different worlds;
remembering how I would phone you
who had time for everybody
and never looked at the clock or watch
as we talked about ourself until time itself were weary..
(then came the pointed, quiet alignment...)
knowing what a treat it was going to be
but I’d have to be on my mettle..
and when welcomed, and the tea made,
it was as if you rejoined a conversation
about things that really matter
which you and she – well, OK, she –
had been talking about,
gently, seriously, all her life; and yet as if
she had never formulated a thought about it before,
until you brought it up;
and together, you and she
would hear the sound of wisdom
as if it were newborn that day, in that tidy room.
Loss; and gratitude.
A single lady of advancing years,
serious eyes, with a sparkle waiting there,
a smile ready at the corners of her mouth
as if it waited on the prompt of love
in some high golden play.
I’m told she had more annual Valentine cards
than anyone would have known.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Borrowed Time
When I was younger
Living confusion and deep dispair
When I was younger ah hah
Living illusion of freedom and power
When I was younger
Full of ideas and broken dreams (my friend)
When I was younger ah hah
Everything simple but not so clear
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Now I am older
The more that I see the less that I know for sure
Now I am older ah hah
The future is brighter and now is the hour
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Good to be older
Would not exchange a single day or a year
Good to be older ah hah
Less complications everything clear
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
song performed by by Lennon John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Face Up
Ever since Ive seen your face
This life of mine has gone to waste
I was young and you were old
And I always knew you were cold
At the start you had a heart
But in the end you lost your friend
Can you see your own dark face?
Its dieing in a lonely place
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
As we get old, we lose our place
Reflecting back the worlds disgrace
I feel so low, I feel so humble
Sometimes in life we take a tumble
Dont let anybody tell you that youre no good
Cause you know they would
Dont let anybody tell you what you should do
Cause its not that way and...
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure
And life was just an open door
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
You were me and I was you
This world of ours it felt brand new
You took me a little further...
I heard it all before, Ive heard it all before
I cant hear it anymore
Your hair was long, your eyes was blue
Guess what Im gonna do to you
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure
And life was just an open door
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought...
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure...
song performed by by New Order
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never fair
I used to be such an idealist, believed everything goes well when you do well
I used to think that babies were born to parents that always loved them
I thought justice would be served for every injustice suffered
I believed if you really loved you couldn't lose
I used to think sex was just for pleasure
Until one day, just one, the tables turned
And me the passionate lover of love was lying in a hospital bed
Thick blood oozing down my legs soaking everything with my guilt
One moment of pleasure had turned the tables on me
That one moment of pleasure turned me into a mother only at sixteen
He was nowhere to be found, He that had said he couldn't live without me; He was nowhere to be found
Vanished with the summer breeze as my winter started
A child I desperately wanted to die couldn't die; somebody had arrived just on time
And here we were mother and child, both safe
I safe because for my treason I couldn't go to prison for the life I had
Attempted murder would have been my charge
But somebody I didn't know and I couldn't care for saved my life
Now justice had to be served
The more I tried the more I realized justice is a hoax
He got away with paying a mere 300 every month till she was eighteen
I didn't care about child maintenance
I wanted justice served, for breaking my heart I wanted him to pay
But that's all the judge thought it was worth,300 Pula and that wasn't even for me
So I settled with that bitter taste of reality, Life is not fair
poem by Ontibile Laone Kebadirang
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