0247 Tiptoeing into Saywell Country
oh shitty kitty
what a pity
kitty's bitter
you're out of kitty litter
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Shitty Kitty City
There's a lobby by my study where my visitors may enter
which, since we got the kittens, has a dirtbox at the centre.
They're still too young to go outside, that's why I ask for pity:
they've turned my quiet oasis into Shitty Kitty City.
Pity, pity, isn't it a pity?
They've turned my quiet oasis into Shitty Kitty City.
Their mother trained them very well to go into the tray.
They do their stuff and cover it - that's fair enough, you say;
but litter gets flicked everywhere, so underfoot is gritty:
you need your wellies on indoors for Shitty Kitty City.
Pity, pity, isn't it a pity?
You need your wellies on indoors for Shitty Kitty City.
Mind the crap... Mind the crap... Stand clear of the turds, please.
I scoop the jobbies off the floor: the cats think I collect 'em,
so each one keeps on squeezing me a present from its rectum.
There's steaming heaps all over, and it isn't smelling pretty -
it's best to wear a gasmask when in Shitty Kitty City.
Pity, pity, isn't it a pity?
It's best to wear a gasmask when in Shitty Kitty City.
Ip dip dog shit, you are not it.
But soon they will be big enough to do it in the garden.
I'm putting out my begging bowl, for which I beg your pardon.
And now you see, good people all, the reason for my ditty -
a whipround for a catflap door for Shitty Kitty City.
Pity, pity, isn't it a pity?
I need to buy a catflap door for Shitty Kitty City.
poem by Wild Bill Balding
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Kitty Reid's House
Air - 'Country Bumpkin.'
Hech! hey! the mirth that was there,
The mirth that was there,
The mirth that was there;
Hech! how! the mirth that was there,
In Kitty Reid's house on the green, Jo.
There was laughin' and singin', and dancin' and glee
In Kitty Reid's house, in Kitty Reid's house,
There was laughin' and singin', an' dancin' and glee,
In Kitty Reid's house on the green, Jo.
Hech! hey! the fright that was there,
The fright that was there,
The fright that was there,
Hech! how! the fright that was there,
In Kitty Reid's house on the green, Jo.
The light glimmer'd in thro' a crack i' the wa',
An' a' body thocht the lift it would fa',
An' lads and lasses they soon ran awa'
Frae Kitty Reid's house on the green, Jo.
Hech! hey! the dule that was there,
The dule that was there,
The dule that was there,
The birds an' beasts it wauken'd them a',
In Kitty Reid's house on the green, Jo.
The wa' gaed a hurly and scatter'd them a',
The piper, the fiddler, auld Kitty, an' a',
The kye fell a routin', the cocks they did craw,
In Kitty Reid's house on the green, Jo.
poem by Carolina Oliphant
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Bad Cat
ignore that cat
don't feed her
you know you won't keep her
that skinny kitty
that plain little thing
she is untame
you don't know where she's been
it is a feral thing
not to be trusted
nor cared for
if you try to feed
a damned cat
she's gonna be a mess
she will stay at your door
until you are
fed up
'no more, bad cat! '
you're gonna tell her
'go! '
so she'll leave
even lonelier than before
traces of her
will be everywhere
you'll never hide
that there was once
a little kitty
at your door
then that cat will be
long gone
more starved
cos she got used to
you feeding her
she is a troublesome thing
so just ignore that cat
don't feed her
you won't keep her
that skinny,
dirty,
lost kitty
poem by Kitty Marie Lucas
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Kitty Play
One little kitten,
Looking at his paw,
Second little kitten,
Standing watch in awe,
Third little kitten
Don't know what he saw.
He's staring at the Kitty,
The kitty that's in awe,
The third little kitty,
I think that's what he saw.
A Doe In The City
Little KITTY LORIMER,
Fair, and young, and witty,
What has brought your ladyship
Rambling to the City?
All the Stags in Capel Court
Saw her lightly trip it;
All the lads of Stock Exchange
Twigg'd her muff and tippet.
With a sweet perplexity,
And a mystery pretty,
Threading through Threadneedle Street,
Trots the little KITTY.
What was my astonishment—
What was my compunction,
When she reached the Offices
Of the Didland Junction!
Up the Didland stairs she went,
To the Didland door, Sir;
Porters lost in wonderment,
Let her pass before, Sir.
'Madam,' says the old chief Clerk,
'Sure we can't admit ye.'
'Where's the Didland Junction deed?'
Dauntlessly says KITTY.
'If you doubt my honesty,
Look at my receipt, Sir.'
Up then jumps the old chief Clerk,
Smiling as he meets her.
KITTY at the table sits
(Whither the old Clerk leads her),
'I deliver this,' she says,
'As my act and deed, Sir.'
When I heard these funny words
Come from lips so pretty;
This, I thought, should surely be
Subject for a ditty.
What! are ladies stagging it?
Sure, the more's the pity;
But I've lost my heart to her,—
Naughty little KITTY.
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
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Kitty Cat Heaven
Kitty Cat Heaven
Blues
Heaven welcomes
All the kitty cats
After they had died
On earth
poem by Aldo Kraas
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Taming The Tiger
I stepped outside to breathe the air
And stare up at the stars
Big dipper hanging there
Over the rented car
Over the rented car
Im a runaway from the record biz
From the hoods in the hood and the whiny white kids
Boring!
The old man is snoring
And Im taming the tiger
(you cant tame the tiger)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Nice, kitty kitty
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Sophia says its hard to catch
And harder still to ride
The time to watch the beast the best
Is when its purring at your side
Purring at your side
Accolades and honors
One false move and youre a goner
Boring!
The old man is snoring
And Im taming the tiger
(you cant tame the tiger)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Nice, kitty kitty
Tiger, tiger burning bright
In the forest of the night
The moon shed light
On my hopeless plight
As the radio blared so bland
Every disc, a poker chip
Every song just a one night stand
Formula music, girly guile
Genuine junkfood for juveniles
Up and down the dial
Mercenary style
I watched the stars chuck down their spears
And a plane went blinking by
And I thought of anna
Wild and dear
Like fireworks in the sky
Fireworks in the sky
Im so sick of this game
Its hip, its hot
Lifes too short, the whole things gotten
Boring!
The old man is snoring
And Im taming the tiger
(you cant tame the tiger)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Nice, kitty kitty
(boring!)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
(you cant tame the tiger)
Oh, be nice, kitty kitty
(boring!)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
Nice, kitty kitty
(boring, boring!)
Tiger, tiger burning bright
(fight to the light, fight to the light)
In the forest of the night
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Wet Whiskered Fishured Cat Caught Nothin' But An Empty Paw.
Tis' be fish-a fish of mine...
One that flips inside a pan o'thine.
That cat that swatted at a fish astray...
That cat had not caught a one'a fish that day.
Into the watery drink that cat did fall....
Kitty Kat-Kitty Kat is what he'd heard one call.
Inside the house he found me stearn...
But with fish in a pan he found to me to of learn.
Right off to market had i gone...
The Kitty Kat ate his share of fish b'fore fallen to
a sleep aft' last let out tired out, yawn.
Do you see? ...
Ssshhhhh!
ZZZZZZZeeee Zeee Zeee zzzz
zzzz
zzz! ! !
poem by Michael Gale
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Tigerella
She's rippin' strips of flesh from the prey beneath her paws
After work she gets the polish out and paints 'em pretty claws
Tigerella
Is makin' me yowl
That's some jungle kitty cat
Got me on the prowl
Shoppin' for an outfit she can wear tonight
Don't get between her and that (fool? food?)
She wants or she may bite
Tigerella
Is makin' me yowl
That's some jungle kitty cat
Got me on the prowl
Reooowwwwww
Tigerella
Is makin' me yowl
That's some jungle kitty cat
Got me on the prowl
Ahhhhhhhh
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kitty Collar Tight
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
i hold your history
and i kiss the map
i'm looking back forwards
your tap drips, i...catch
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
your skin, my nails
your mirror, my face
your skin impaled
for your scars are my grace
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
watch how i put it on
kitty collar tight!
make it sing its song
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
make it fight
make it fight, fight!
song performed by by Queen Adreena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Better in the Doghouse
Sometimes,
It's the wrong time...
To take your leash off me.
I prefer it in doghouse.
'Woof, woof.'
I like the service in the doghouse.
'Woof', woof'.
Sometimes,
It's the wrong time...
To take your leash off me.
I'm undisturbed when in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
I get free pieces in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof.'
I get that pity kind of kitty when received,
When...
In the doghouse,
'Woof, woof'
In the doghouse,
'Woof, woof'.
That pity kitty that I get that's best to me...
Is in the doghouse,
'Woof, woof.'
The kitty's better in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
I like it better in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
Sometimes,
It's the wrong time...
To take your leash off me.
I prefer it in doghouse.
'Woof, woof.'
I like the service in the doghouse.
'Woof', woof'.
Sometimes,
It's the wrong time...
To take your leash off me.
The kitty's better in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
It gets better in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
I like it better in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
I prefer it in the doghouse.
'Woof, woof'.
It's good and better in the doghouse.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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No Thank You
No I do not want a kitten,
No cute, cuddly kitty-poo,
No more long hair in my cornflakes,
No more midnight meowing mews,
No more scratchin', snarlin', spitters
No more sofas clawed to shreds,
No more smell of kitty litter,
No more mousies in my bed.
No, I will not take that kitten--
I've had lice and I've had fleas,
I've been scratched and sprayed and bitten,
I've developed allergies.
If you've got an ape, I'll take him,
If you have a lion, that's fine,
If you brought some walking bacon,
Leave him, here, I'll treat him kind.
I have room for mice and gerbils,
I have beds for boars and bats,
But please, please take away that kitten--
Quick--'fore it becomes a cat.
Well...it is kind of cute at that.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Kitty Is Her Name
I have a lovely cat,
Kitty is her name.
Seeing a moving ball,
She likes to play a game.
She loves to eat tuna fish,
Ice-cream in summer day.
Mew, mew she calls me,
And follows me, all the way.
When I watch television,
She watches channel Nick.
Thus, she learns from there,
How to make a trick.
She sleeps on a pillow,
Uses quilt in winter days.
I love my cute kitty cat,
Will be loving her always.
poem by Nilakshi Das
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The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets, but no one but me cleans the kitty litter.
quote by Meryl Streep
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Countin The Cows Every Day
Countin the cows every day
By: jimmy buffett
1975
Oh Im just a cowboy, an old hired hand
Never seen nothin majestic or grand
I just received a great big tax return
Now Im off to las vegas with money to burn
Its been a while since I last left this town
Bought a new suit and Im nevada bound
Gonna make it, gonna break it, Ive been there before
Nothins gone wrong, this towns such a bore
Chorus:
Aw, the train leaves at seven, all go to heaven
Nothin here to make me stay
cause that las vegas glitter sure beats kitty litter
Countin the cows every day
Chorus:
Yeah, the train leaves at seven, on up to heaven
Nothin here to make me stay
cause that las vegas glitter sure beats kitty litter
Countin the cows every day
And countin the cows every day
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Countin' The Cows Ev'ry Day
Oh i'm just a cowboy, an old hired hand
Never seen nothin' majestic or grand
I just received a great big tax return
Now i'm off to las vegas with money to burn
It's been a while since i last left this town
Bought a new suit and i'm nevada bound
Gonna make it, gonna break it, i've been there before
Nothin's gone wrong, this town's such a bore
Chorus:
Aw, the train leaves at seven, all go to heaven
Nothin' here to make me stay
'cause that las vegas glitter sure beats kitty litter
Countin' the cows every day
Chorus:
Yeah, the train leaves at seven, on up to heaven
Nothin' here to make me stay
'cause that las vegas glitter sure beats kitty litter
Countin' the cows every day
And countin' the cows every day
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Moon Is.......
A Poem by my Great Niece, Kitty Cotton aged 12 years.
The Moon is a pearl;
sat in the night sky.
Precious and beautiful,
it shall never die.
The Moon is a ball of silk,
dancing with the stars.
Floating elegantly in the darkness,
it won’t ever be behind bars.
The Moon is a torch,
lightening the night,
to help us find our way,
and just hanging in the sky,
smiling down on me.
© Kitty Cotton
(Ernestine Northover)
poem by Ernestine Northover
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Catnip Dream
(m.nakatani)
Originally performed by the shonen knife. jeff performed it live at great american music hall, san francisco, on may 4 1995.
He is a cat but hes very very fat
Hes not just a standard cat
He is a cat but hes still very fat
American calico cat
Catnip is a kitty cat drug
One puff two puffs, high in a dream
Funny kittys got very sleepy eyes
I wonder what hes dreaming of
Catnip dream catnip dream catnip
Dream meow meow meow
Catnip dream
He gets his kicks from a tiny toy
A green frog filled with catnip
And pretty soon hes going to be seventeen
Kitty cat birthday party
Catnip is a kitty cat drug
We plant catnip seeds together
All summer long he watches it growing
Dreaming of the harvest moon
Catnip dream catnip dream catnip
Dream meow meow meow
Catnip dream
He is a cat and hes very very smart
He knows the coolest place in the yard
He is the king of the neighborhood
American calico cat
Catnip is a kitty cat drug
One puff two puffs, high in a dream
Funny kittys got very sleepy eyes
I wonder what hes dreaming of
Catnip dream catnip dream catnip
Dream meow meow meow
Catnip dream
song performed by by Jeff Buckley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Live Kitty and a Puppy Atop a T.V.!
A live kitty
And a live puppy
Atop a TV!
I placed a kitty;
Also a puppy,
Atop a TV
Box – my ditty!
But there wasn’t much place;
They could not fit the base;
Each had a lovely face;
My eyes began to gaze!
The kitty girl was smart,
And sat as if by art;
The puppy boy was small
And slept until my call!
Cute little animals
Looking so lovely;
To make them sit there,
Wasn’t that easy!
I coaxed them to do it;
When one sat, the other stood;
Both had to pose,
For my photo, close.
The kitty mewed;
The puppy whined;
They never liked
The narrow place!
The kitty black
Sat with duck-back!
For puppy slack,
I knew not the knack
The light was dull;
Shadows were full;
But both were still,
After some drill.
At last, I clicked a photograph!
It came out well after all;
It wasn’t so clear;
Behind, there was the wall!
And this was done
When I was a boy;
How well they adjust,
Animals, when young!
Like puppies and kittens,
Children too are so innocent;
They do not carry ill-will;
Love looking o’er the window-sill.
The kitty and the puppy
Remained very happy;
They licked the milk together,
From the same container!
They chased each other, playing;
And sometimes even biting;
The kitten mewed and snarled;
The pup would bark and bite.
Young children too are like-wise;
To talk with, they are nice;
They love to eat and play;
From dawn to dusk, throughout the day.
They fight over little things;
Unlike adult earthlings
Forgiving others soon;
Admire the Moon!
And children love small kittens,
And caress them with love;
And like to wear mittens,
Or keep warm ’fore the stove.
And children love small puppies,
And play with them for long;
And tease them to have fun,
And make them to even run.
Alas! Adults are different;
They fight for everything;
They will not forgive others,
Nor forgive their brothers.
Copyright by Dr John Celes 1-7-2008
poem by John Celes
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Darling Mother! - By Kitty Cotton 10 Years Old.
A poem written by my great niece, Kitty Cotton, who is 10 years old, for her Mother on Mother’s Day.
Darling Mother,
You care and love me with all your soul,
You feed me even though I can be a messy pup!
I love you so much,
Your love and sympathy is all I ask for.
But on that special day I’m going to give you
something.
No, not chocolates or flowers,
No, not make-up and bag,
Something more important, something you gave me
and I’m giving back.
It is my love and sympathy.
Love you lots
Tuns of love, your daughter
KITTY
XXXXXXXX
poem by Ernestine Northover
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