0013 Sainthood via Automated Complaints
Living saints seem to be an endangered species
though nobody complains
so how about the ‘sustainable’ bit?
How To Be a Saint isn’t yet in that
expanding Idiot’s Guide series
however
there is a Path, a Way
right at the tips of your fingers
though have your blood pressure
checked first
automated complaints
and I’m sure I don’t need
to spell that out for you
the one that you can’t even get through to make;
the options that don’t include yours;
the hanging on, because
we value your call;
the background music
like that loop from
Mendelsohn’s violin concerto
like a continuously thwarted orgasm
without a climax
so here’s the perfect practice
run through a checklist
of the required virtues;
western religions tend to run to
quite a few; but Indians
love enumeration – they’ve been at it
for thousands of years; and now
they’re Call Centre International
it could be a growth industry
I’ve got a fine list here from the Jains
which is especially practical
since they don’t require subscribing
to a specific image of the god
who’s running all this, remember:
you could take one virtue a day to practice
or just have the checklist there beside
the telephone – I guess
if this catches on, there’ll be
an illustrated poster to hang there
in exquisite medieval illumination
so for when you get through to a human being,
or better, while you’re waiting,
here’s the first nine of the ten:
forgiveness;
humility;
straightforwardness;
truth;
restraint from anger, abuse, etc;
penance; (you could settle there for patience..)
non-attachment;
indifference to any kind of gain or loss;
cleanliness of soul, mind, body;
I guess by now you’re
either laughing or crying;
both have their uses
on the way to sainthood;
oh yes, the tenth,
supreme sex-control;
not sure if that applies, apart from monks etc.,
but it might somehow
anyway, there’s nine
for you to practice on meanwhile;
I don’t need to advise you on
which institutions will help you most by their hindrance;
you already have that list?
if not, press…
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Practice Every Step
Practice every step.
Do not second guess what it takes.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
There's no sleeping for someone who has a place to go,
So...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Focus on that goal,
And tighten on your hold,
And...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Do not second guess what it takes.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Every journey taken,
Must be thought of as a race...
And,
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
There's no other way to straighten out a crooked road,
So...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
No matter what you're told,
There will be some doubts and woes...
But you,
Practice every step.
Yes you,
Practice every step.
Woes you hold will eventually go,
So...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Practice Maker Perfect
D. roberts / e. gold
If practice makes perfect
Lets try that old embrace
In some romantic place
Where we can take out time
If practice makes perfect
Just close you eyes again
Well try those sights again
And make them more sublime
Were in loves kindergarden
Learning from a to z
And if its fun just starting
Think what its going to be
If practice makes perfect
Lets have that kiss again
We mustn miss again
Were not doing bad right now
Were not doing bad
Lets practice some more
Were not doing bad right now
song performed by by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobodys perfect, so why practice?
quote by Billie Joe Armstrong
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Night At A Time
Im not yours and baby youre not mine
Weve got somethin and it sure is fine
Lets take our love one night at a time
Theres one thing that we both agree
I like you and baby you like me
Lets take our love one night at a time
All night, love all night, practice makes perfect,
Gonna get it right, gonna get it right, one night at a time
All night, love all night, practice makes perfect,
Gonna get it right, gonna get it right, one night at a time
Oh I think about you all day long
It feels so good it cant be wrong
Ive got my fingers crossed that this goes on and on
Tomorrow, well, thats another day,
Come on baby, now what do you say
Lets take our love one night at a time
All night, love all night, practice makes perfect,
Gonna get it right, gonna get it right, one night at a time
(instrumental break)
Oh I think about you all day long
It feels so good it cant be wrong,
Ive got my fingers crossed that this goes on and on
All night, love all night, practice makes perfect, gonna get it right
Gonna get it right, one night at a time
All night, love all night, practice makes perfect,
Gonna get it right, gonna get it right, one night at a time
All night, love all night, practice makes perfect,
Gonna get it right, gonna get it right, one night at a time
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Piano Picker
Everybody always ask me
How I got to play so fine
And friends, Im gonna tell ya
It really did take some time
Yes, after years and years of practice
And a case of real bad knees
While the other guys were out playin with the football
I was home bangin on the keys
And it got me
(*) right where I am
This is me
Playing the piano
I hope ya like what I do
Its for you
And Ill try and sing right too
I guess Im really very lucky
That Ive got this thing to play
cause it can really make me feel good
Even when its cloudy and grey
Yes, after years and years of practice
And awful allergies that made me sneeze
And now the other guys are out playin with their girlfriends
And I was still bangin on the keys
And it got me
Repeat (*)
song performed by by Carpenters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The spirit of logical analysis should in practice blend with the practical pressure for the adoption of some form of international language, but it should not allow itself to be stampeded by it.
quote by Edward Sapir
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Phone Call
The eleven digit number, I very carefully dial,
Hoping that my query, will only take a while.
I am greeted by a cheery, automated voice:
To sit and listen, I don’t have much choice.
The speaker, I admit, sounds very polite,
But, I don’t require details of their website.
I really just wanted to find something out,
And, avoid all this, unnecessary, faffing about.
I’m given a list of options: one through to four.
Having chosen option ‘one’, I’m given six more.
The options, once again, to me, are explained.
Already, I’m starting to find this all, a real pain.
This time, I decide to go for option number two,
But, to a human adviser, I still can’t be put through.
Having dialled two, another list of options, I endure,
But this time, I will admit, there is one option fewer.
The final option on the list, is number five:
At last, I can talk to someone, who is alive!
But, by an automated voice, I am, then, told,
That, they are currently busy, so ‘please hold.’
By cheerful, piped music, I am initially greeted;
Once finished, it is, then, immediately repeated.
To the repeated musical strains, I sit and listen,
Still feeling very intent, on fulfilling my mission.
This is taking way much longer, than I first thought,
And, by now, my nerves are, ever so slightly, fraught.
The receiver, at the other end, is picked up, at long last.
Checking my watch, I see, ten minutes have now passed.
Of the answer to my question, the adviser isn’t too sure,
So I’m put back on ‘hold’, to the same music as before.
This is going to take ages, I’m now beginning to realise.
I’m quite impatient by now, and, annoyed, I roll my eyes.
The adviser apologises, and he thanks me for waiting.
This whole scenario, for me, is getting rather grating.
At last, my query is answered by someone,
And, twenty minutes later, I’m finally done.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lessons Of Love
(s. garrett/g. ballard)
See the children play
Listen to the things they say
One-on-one to one another
Theyre just having fun
Finding out it can be done
They dont seperate by cover
Ooh, young hearts
Facing to feel it so naturally
And the flower grows from the seed and
Chorus:
Practice makes perfect and we tryin enough
And were bound to be learning
The lessons of love
Coz were never too old and never too young
To be teaching each other the lessons of love
Got some work to do
Theres so much we can improve
Piece by piece we come together, yeah
In the neighborhood
I know we can make it good
But weve got to make it better
Oh woh oh, inside each of us has a romelody
But weve got to find our harmony
Practice makes perfect and we tryin rnough
And weve got to remember
The lessons of love
Coz were never too old and never too young
To be teaching each other the lessons of love
Bridge:
Imagine how this world could be
If all of us would live in peace
Nothing good comes easily
Together starts with you and me
Yeah, oh yeah, aha
Lessons of love
Practice makes perfect and we tryin enough
And were bound to be learning
The lessons of love
Coz were never too old and never too young
To be teaching each other
Practice makes perfect and we tryin enough
And weve got to remember
The lessons of love
Coz were never too old and never too young
To be teaching each other the lessons of love
Practice makes perfect, try it enough
(oh, never too young, aha)
And weve got to be learning
The lessons of love (lessons of love)
And were never too old and never too young
(to learn the lessons of love)
To be teaching each other
The lessons of love
Oh, never too old, to learn the lessons of love
Oh yeah, lessons of love
song performed by by Lea Salonga
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0264 Toothpaste tubes and toilet seats
Why do I hate you? Let me count the ways...
Oh I could list them.... but no - not the trivialities
that drive us into impotent blind rage
committed daily by our partners, children, (parents?) , room-mates -
I, you, we, all have that list...
but I sing the joyous list of so-called 'minor' poets
who simply spell out, so uproariously
our petty human weaknesses,
domestic inadequacies, all the idiot joy
of living together while apart...
poets who'll never be on someone else's list
of 'ground-breaking' avant-garde great names
who with new neighbourings of words and sounds
expand humanity's poetic vision of the tears of things;
map out the undiscovered mind of years that are yet to be -
no - poets who, living all our lives for us,
confirm, with smiling banal truisms, this comedy,
our shared humanity; humans being humans;
wishing that we might change, but not too soon, not yet...
and as we smile and groan as poets with their skills
list that familiar daily stress and strain -
the still, mad music of humanity -
love arises.
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mental life is indeed practical through and through. It begins in practice and it ends in practice.
quote by Samuel Alexander
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I know you've heard it a thousand times before. But it's true - hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don't love something, then don't do it.
quote by Ray Bradbury
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.
quote by Vince Lombardi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gratefully Not Available
No thanks!
Scratch me off your list.
No matter where I appear on it.
You call...
After all these years.
To have a confrontation,
Or to leave me in tears?
Which is it?
A call to see how I am doing?
To ask who I am screwing of late?
What audacity you have,
To think I am here waiting?
I'm surprise you're still alive!
I have no intentions to return to your jive.
No thanks!
Scratch me off your list.
No matter where I appear on it.
I am doing well.
And I hope you are too.
I have no animosity in my heart for you.
I have gone on with my life...
Inspired and motivated.
Is that what you do?
You want us to discuss what went wrong?
You want us to reconnect,
To make what you left stronger...
From your point of view?
You must be crazed to believe those days,
With you I wish to relive.
To raise more havoc I rid from myself...
To invite back with you to live?
You're nuts!
No thanks!
Scratch me off your list.
No matter where I appear on it.
And no matter what thoughts you had,
And still have of me...
I appreciate your call.
However...
Erase from your mind,
Any memories you believe I still cherish.
No thanks!
Scratch me off your list.
No matter where I appear on it.
In fact...
Burn it!
And connect this to your mind:
'For you there is not time!
It has gone.
And I am gratefully not available! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.
quote by Maya Angelou
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You've got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail.
quote by Charlie Parker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If You Want To Learn…
If you want to learn theory
Talk with a theoretician
This way is oral
If you want to learn a craft
Practice
Learning comes through the hands
If you want austerity, physical poverty
Emptiness, befriend corruption
Practice and talk about such things won’t help
A Seeker receives from a knowing soul
The mystery of spiritual emptiness
May be living in the heart of a Saint
But he may not yet understand
He must wait for the openness of illumination
As if his chest were filling with Light
Do not look outside yourself
Do not ask for water from a tiny puddle
Do not walk around with an empty bucket
There is an ocean inside of you
You have access to this vast Ocean
Expand your heart
Expand your love
Ever sure
He is with you
ROTMS
(Dedicated to the brilliance of Rumi)
poem by Ray Lucero
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Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.
quote by Vince Lombardi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Practice does not make perfect but a perfect practice makes perfect.
Education is not merely a means for earning a living or an instrument for the acquisition of wealth. "It is an initiation into life of spirit, a training of the human soul in the pursuit of truth and the practice of virtue.
quote by Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The true and best way of learning any Art, is not to see a great many Examples done by another Person, but to possess ones seIf first of the Principles of it, and then to make them familiar, by exercising ones self in the Practice. For it is Practice alone, that makes a Man perfect in any thing.
quote by Brook Taylor
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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