Possessed Penis
i have a possessed penis, it wakes up at night and tries to strangle me right after i've turned out the lights, i cant be within six feet of a female, or it'll slither down her butt crack, through her anus then impale, after rupturing her intestine, and i quess when im ingestin' estrogen it helps a little, then i get the urge to molest again, i've invested in therapy, varying medications, now that i've tested them, i've decided that all i can really do is give in, thats my best defense, so i inject my pants with steroids and down a box of viagra, my penis shoots diagi-nally through the earths crust and then expands, splitting the earth in half, then i get a boner and shit my pants, it slams into the moon and blasts it to a million pieces, then rips the fabric and space and time and heats it, to such a high temperature with my spicey sperm, that it lurches warps and contorts like a little fiesty worm, like burnt plastic, i warp reality, with my burning bubbling bursts of cum, and dense phallic meat
poem by Mayhem's Apprentice

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I Was Drunk When I Wrote This
crazy hazing brain cells cocaine dwells within them eating sea shells and children buildin' my skills in instillin' the will to blend caapi vines and P viridis dont be skiddish, i'll keep my wee hidden until i pee friggin demons come out of my weenie hole, so rub my genie globes and be enchanted by my magical inseminating pole or you shall pay the toll your whole life will fold over five hundred times like the ashes in my weed bowl as they warp from the heat, you will warp from your heat as you yowl and leap at the site of my meat, so eat and feast of the sacred fruits, or i'll rape your poop hole and break your tooth, i eat my own semen dreamin' of the demon that sticks its thumb up my anus and creams in my belly button, woe nelly, somethins' clawing the inside of my penis hole, to tell me, muffin...what in the universe keeps people too perverse to use my verses and disperse this accursed worsening state of the spurtin' semen of ignorance in humanitys asshole, all over the vast globe, its trash so i will smoke hash oil and tell you of the toil but wait i just soiled my pants, to a boil my blood has advanced emancepate yourself from plantations of seeds of damnation intellectual castration on that ass placin a vast abrasion on your brain and laceratin' the attainment of gnosis blow dicks hoe bitch no frickin' load of thick creamy cum can close the lips of your over hit boner pit, im about as sober as this: hash hits, expanding the vastness of your elastic ass bitch, grass rips my synapses while i dab my dick in acid a flask of it to be exact, i lick my own buttcrack and stick a funnel in my penis then let bees in it i need clinically attention, i put an active extension cord in my mouth then peed in it
poem by Mayhem's Apprentice

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Put Those Pants Back On
Look, BOY!
Pull those pants up.
Or either take them off.
'But POP? '
Don't you 'POP me boy.
You heard what I said.
'Ooookkkaaay.'
What are you doing?
Put those pants back on.
'That's what I've been trying to tell you.
I am overdressed these days.
Some of the kids are totally butt naked.
And they are allowed because they have high grades! '
So what are you saying?
You get F's on purpose?
'Well...
Kinda.'
Well..
Kinda put those pants around your waist.
And kinda do it with a belt.
I don't care if you are perceived,
To be the dumbest walking the hallways in school.
Your ass will stay covered.
Is that understood?
'Yes.'
Yes what?
'Yes, Your Majesty.'
Hee with two Haahs.
Now get out of here.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Adolescent hormones…
I have a devil in my pants
With a three pronged lance
Look here? Look there?
Look everywhere?
The whores of Babylon
And the wenches of France
Are serving up a dance
In my pants, in my pants
In my pants,
Yet; my heart wants romance.
poem by Mark Heathcote

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One Way Or The Other
When someone over compensates,
With an opinion...
That is stated to instigate.
And stirs to irritation...
Both discomfort and continued debate!
And all that is wished...
Is someone who is willing to give and take.
In a relationship that begins not ends,
In a bottomless abyss...
Unforgiving and not able to bend,
With a mending!
There has to be an ego to give up,
When a temperature heats...
Unneeded.
There has to be an ego to give up,
When a temperature heats...
Unneeded.
There has to be an ego to give up,
When a temperature heats...
Unneeded.
Or...
A releasing of the beast inside that feeds the heat!
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
No one has to really suffer,
One way or the other!
When someone over compensates,
With an opinion...
That is stated to instigate.
And stirs to irritation...
Both discomfort and continued debate!
And all that is wished...
Is someone who is willing to give and take.
There has to be an ego to give up,
When a temperature heats...
Unneeded.
There has to be an ego to give up,
When a temperature heats...
Unneeded.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
No one has to really suffer,
One way or the other!
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
One way or the other,
No one has to really suffer.
No one has to really suffer,
One way or the other!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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For Molly, Concerning God
Is God the one who eats the meat
off the bones of dead people?
-Molly Miranda Jong-Fast, age 3 1/2
God is the one,
Molly,
whether we call him
Him,
or Her,
treeform or spewing
volcano,
Vesuvius or vulva,
penis-rock,
or reindeer-on-cave-wall,
God is the one
who eats
our meat,
Molly,
& we yield
our meat
up willingly.
Meat is our
element,
meat is our
lesson.
When our bodies fill
with each other,
when our blood swells
in our organs
aching for another,
body of meat,
heart of meat,
soul of meat,
we are only doing
what God wants
us to—
meat joining meat
to become insubstantial air,
meat fusing
with meat
to make
a small wonder
like you.
The wonder of you
is that you push
our questions
along into
the future—
so that I know
again
the wonder of meat
through you,
the wonder of meat
turning to philosophy,
the wonder of meat
transubstantiated
into poetry,
the wonder of
sky-blue meat
in your roundest eyes,
the wonder of
dawn-colored meat
in your cheeks & palms,
the wonder of meat
becoming
air.
You
are my theorem,
my proof,
my meaty metaphysics,
my little questioner,
my small Socrates
of the nursery-schoolyard.
To think that
such wonder
can come from meat!
Well then,
if God is hungry—
let Him eat,
let Her eat.
poem by Erica Jong

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Pants
Gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants and your mama cant stop me and your papa cant stop me and the police cant stop me no one can st
Gonna do it right now gonna do it right now Im gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants and your teachers cant stop me and your priests cant stop me and your firemen cant stop me and
President cant stop me will you take off my pants? will you take off my pants?
song performed by by Randy Newman

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Boner Etiquette
Please: be kind to boners. Nothing
ruins an evening quicker than catching
a glimpse of a demoralized boner
sobbing into his foreskin. Remember
the boner is always half full. Most
boners sleep upside down in caves,
ready to flutter into the world
at the dropp of a bra strap. Boners
move in packs—rarely will you see one
wandering alone in a train station.
Look closer and you’ll usually find
a second boner bobbing nearby. But
it’s the lone boner, the Oswald boner,
you must watch out for. Whatever
you do, don’t challenge it. Don’t
stare it directly in the eye.
poem by Jeffrey McDaniel

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Gender bender
These days of the global village
one's compassion should extend
to all nations.
So today, offered by email
a jackrabbit vibrator with adjustable butterfly
for personalized clitoris satisfaction
and penis extension kit
with reduced price Viagra offer
I'm thinking:
is the mail any greater
for Canadians called Jean?
poem by Michael Shepherd

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No Pants On
My little sister is talking to me like an Army Commander!
But she has no pants on and i don't know why;
And i am exemplified by nature's care.
It is not easy when you are left alone without car,
So seek to know the truth always;
For she is naked before me and giving me commands,
But i have to let her wear her pants.
It is better to die a Bachelor than to fall into the traps of love,
For there is always a prey to where the eagle flies to;
And i am the easy access in her hand today.
DO grow with time and do learn a lot,
For i have no roses to share with the thief!
But i will try to pick you with my bicycle because,
My sisiter needs to put her pants on
Somebody needs to talk to her because,
She can't stop the rain from falling;
But she has no pants on and i don't know why.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis

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The Good Earth
When I was a child and the road was dark and the way was long and alone,
My heart would lift as I turned the bend and saw the lights of home.
Now high above in a silent sky,
In a still and starry space,
A man looks down on the earth below,
And that blue and green and shining glow,
To him is the lights of home.
Its the good earth, yes the good earth.
Its a land of sun and rain and snow,
And mulberry trees and mistletoe,
And burning plains and raging seas,
And sunday morning taking your ease,
Watching your children grow.
Its the good earth, yes the good earth,
Where we fought and loved and killed and died,
And ruined and ravished the countryside,
But now, from a million miles away,
From another world thats cold and gray,
Someone is able to look and say,
Thats the good earth.
So isnt it time we stopped the tears?
Weve lived together for thousands of years,
And whether Im wrong, and whether youre right,
Whether youre black, and whether Im white,
One day well stand on the edge of the world,
And someone will ask us the land of our birth,
And well look into his eyes and quietly say:
Its the good earth, yes the good earth.
Why cant we be good on the good earth?
song performed by by Monkees

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Give Me All Night
(carly simon/gerard mcmahon)
I have no need of half of anything
No half time, no half of a mans attention
Give me all the earth and sky
And at the same time add a new dimension
Half the truth is of no use
Give it all, give it all to me
I can stand it
I am strong that way
Give me all night
Give me the full moon
And if I cant take the whole of you
Give it to me anyway
Give me all night
till the last star fades
And if you cant take my heart and soul
Take it from me anyway
Dont give me fountains, I need waterfalls
And, when I cry my tearsll fill an ocean
The pain of love Ill accept it all
As long as youll join me in that emotion
Half of lovin is no fun
Give it all, give it all to me
I can stand it
I am strong that way
Dont leave me guessing alone
Dont walk me half the way home
You can do that tomorrow
Just give me give me all night.
song performed by by Carly Simon

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Come To The Moon
Come to the moon
By: jimmy buffett, michael utley, will jennings
1984
Full earth tonight
And mars is big and bright
All our friends are flying in
Its such a lovely sight
Gravity never could hold me
That is what you always told me
You know me
Chorus:
So come to the moon
I hope to see you soon
Half a million miles isnt far to go
You know I need you so
I hope you still need me
So come to the moon
The starships leaving soon
Until then Im wishing on every star
That you will be here soon
Come to the moon
Those crazy martian days
When we went separate ways
Through time and space wed find a place
To bring our lives in phase
Were lost amid the galaxies revolving
And were all just a part of whats evolving
Evolving
Chorus:
So come to the moon
I hope to see you soon
Half a million miles isnt far to go
You know I need you so
I hope you still need me
So come to the moon
The starships leaving soon
Until then Im wishing on every star
Wondering where you are
Come to the moon
Chorus:
So come to the moon
I hope to see you soon
Half a million miles isnt far to go
You know I need you so
I hope you still need me
So come to the moon
The starships leaving soon
Until then Im wishing on every star
That you will be here soon
Come to the moon
Come to the moon
Come to the moon
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fluidity
People are everywhere you go.
Pottering from A to B.
The fabric of a nation.
People are everywhere you may be.
They can nearly always see.
Pottering from to and fro,
Always dying to 'go'.
Looking for the man in the 'know'.
Eccentric, pedantic,
A million varieties.
-Always looking for more.
Never certain where to go.
People are everywhere.
On the river, down the lane.
Pottering from B to A.
The fabric of a nation,
Its daydream whims
Turned into reality.
Fluid is the day of night.
poem by Peter Vealey

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See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
quote by Robin Williams

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
quote by Robin Williams

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let's Sew Our Pants Together
Raise the window
Its getting hot in here
All these breathers
And all of these suckers
Shake my hand now
Pleased to meet you but
Skin is pretty
But underneath you're a monster
Are we friends now?
Am I your brother?
Can we bleed together
Are we lovers?
Let's sew our pants together
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Let's climb right in forever
6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Then won't we all be so clever?
If we sew our pants together
Wake the next morning
One below the waist
But you want poached eggs
And I want to go to the bathroom
What do we do now?
What do we make of this?
Can my blood flow
Apart from your stitch?
Let's sew our pants together
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Let's climb right in forever
6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Then won't we all be so clever?
If we sew our pants together
Lets set our hair on fire
Lets throw our hearts in the mire
Lets sell our eggs to any buyer
We've made a liar of desire
Lets sew our pants together
Lets sew our pants together
We've made a liar of desire
We've made a liar of desire
We've made a liar of desire
We've made a liar of desire
song performed by by Weezer

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Night Flight
night flying
sneaking in
under the radar
ghostly ethereal
on silver slither
moon night light
unseen unknown
on smudge ink dark
moonless night
traceless trackless
uncharted unlogged
leave no water plowed wake
journey silent unseen
arrival departure unobserved
ghostly galleon sky flight
below rivers cities
myriad anchored lights
laid out diverse clusters
on highways byways
street lights dense
street lights sparse
purpose course direction
plotted charted fixed setting
nothing interrupts salient purpose
poem by Terence George Craddock

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Nature Is One Great Intelligence
nature is one great intelligence
it never puts anybody's nose on his anus
or his penis on his head, or his hands
on his foot, stomach on his buttocks
and men and women, male and female
fit into each other just nice as if
they have been made for each other
and those who love otherwise would
too find their love nature arranges for them
nature is such a great intelligence
all things go according to its secret plans
though with some interesting variations
nature is such a great intelligence
not a single thing happens without a reason
nature is such a great intelligence
you can go along with it, hand in hand,
mind in mind, body and soul
sitting quietly in your house
in a cave, in your own self listening
to its voice of love for all
go along with its great workshop of body,
mind and soul, a blossom in all its silence
confident of its own splendour and fragrance
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo

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Temperature
My baby gimme high temperature
My baby gimme high temperature
Yeah... 101 when we... kiss and dance
102 honey... for a late night romance
103... 4 and 5... it get to hot to stay alive
My baby gimme high temperature
My baby gimme high temperature
When I see her comin\'... down the street
I be the fever giver... high to the beat
103... 4 and 5... it get to hot to stay alive
My baby gimme high temperature
My baby gimme high temperature
97... 98 is just a... false alarm
My temperature 105 when I hold her... in my arms
103... 4 and 5... it get to hot to stay alive
song performed by by Aerosmith

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Its Okay
[female talking spanish]
I like that...
You tellin me you wanna come over
But girl Id told ya
I dont know if I could control myself
Id love to just kiss and hold ya
Movies, popcorn, and soda
But imagine us all by ourselves
Wed be kissin, skin to skin, wearin nothin (nothin)
Who knows where we end (help)
But you can stay
If you really want...
Its okay...
[chorus]
Its okay
Its alright
You can spend the night
If you promise that youll hold me
Tight
And I would like
For you to love me
Love me
Baby, its okay
Its alright
You can spend the night
If you promise that youll hold me
Tight
And I would like
For you to love me
Love me
(I) lately Ive been thinkin to myself
If I ever had you alone
What Id do to you
What youd do to me
Everything in between
But wait...
I dont wanna hurry you
Dont get it twisted though, babygirl
Cause I aint scared of you
Therell be kissin (kissin), skin to skin (skin to skin), wearin nothin (nothin)
Who knows where we end (help)
But you can stay
If you really want...
Its okay...
[chorus]
Cause...
Baby I wanna make love (make love)
But I dont wanna rush (rush you)
You mean everything to me though
To make you...happy...is what
What I want to do
I dreamed of this for so long
And if its what you want
Cmon now...
Kissin (kissin), skin to skin, well be wearin nothin
Who knows where we end
But you can stay
If you really want...
Its okay...
[chorus]
First comes off the shirt
Then
Then comes off that pants
Then
Then comes off the bra
Then
First comes off the shirt
Then
Then comes off that pants
Then
Then comes off the bra
Then
First comes off the shirt
Then
Then comes off that pants
Then
Then comes off the bra
Then
First comes off the shirt
Then
Then comes off that pants
Then
Then comes off the bra
Then
[female talking spanish]
song performed by by Next

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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