The Gift Of My Fatherhood
Haunted by yesterday and memories embedded in my soul;
I am determined to make up for the jollity it stole;
With a hopeful heart and an ardent, faithful mind,
I endeavor every day, to leave the past, behind!
Why may I not pay riddance, this anguish-
Why do I allow its spectre to to languish
Within me, stealing my todays, as well?
When will this end? I guess only time will tell!
Long-held beliefs have become myths of naivete;
The justice I believed a birth right, is now that for which I pray,
Nightly, sometimes hourly-and not only for me-
I pray too, for my Daughters, and for the gift of my Fatherhood, to be!
'This too shall pass'-yes, when this justice is restored;
'This' shall pass, and my long-sought peace of mind, assured!
-Maurice Harris,5 June 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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The Only Justice I Really Seek
'Who am I? ' I will only know, when I am allowed to see
The future that God has graciously avowed to me,
After both injustice and death, as well as before.
Life has new meaning now, as does what I am fighting for:
The only two resplendent sureties in seas of deceit-
This is what is needed to make my life complete!
My life yearns for them, as the 'purpose' He intended-
Until this wrong is righted, until this tear is mended,
My heart, and indeed my mind, and shattered soul,
Will never understand the contentment of simply being whole!
My ears hear them cry out to me, though they are not near;
My eyes long for sight of them, because they are not here;
My heart aches, in the face of their tragic absence,
While my mind may only imagine their true magnificence!
Their consortium is the only justice I really seek;
They are the only strength I need, where I am truly weak;
May my thousands of pleaded prayers, finally find answer,
To rid my world of this anguish, this fully-metastasized cancer!
Much in mind, and in many ways, moribund-since that day;
Yet, I must brave what comes, no matter what may-
Because, as I need them, they need me even more;
We three patiently await the Natural Order, to restore-
Whereby the rights of these two precious jewels
Are no longer absconded by minions and fools!
This once-broken Father's heart now seeks repair,
Through the riddance of the estrangement, and the despair
Into which it has been drawn me, since that horrific day-
When this shall come to pass though, no one may say;
It is in the Hands of my Heavenly Father to decide;
All I may do is humbly pray for redress, and faithfully bide!
-Maurice Harris,24 September 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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Aspiration Of A Future, To Efface The Past
I need use my mind's eye, to see you;
I've no access to photographs, no way to see to
A remembrance of you, except in this way!
I long to once again be graced by you-I've dreamt of this day
Many, many times, so that I may at long last
Look beyond a most tragic consequence of my past:
Namely, that I allowed fear to make a decision
That I have lived to regret every day, since its commission!
May God again grant both of us with the other's consort-
This alone seems to befit or comport
With the wants of my heart, soul, and mind-
You, my beloved, are the memory I could not hope to leave behind!
In a world of glorious imperfection, you are as perfect as I could hope you to be,
I pray to God each night, to divine your 'perfection', to me!
Maurice Harris,20 July 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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A Promise Kept
All alone in the darkness, all alone in the light,
All alone with anguish of my soul,
Through the long, dark, lonely night!
This is what her deceit gifted and what it stole:
No one here to comfort me, nor to allay my fears,
No one may take away the abject pain,
Nor may anyone wipe away the tears
That fall upon my pillow, again and again!
With a wish in my heavy heart, I pray for relief-
That my Good and Gracious God may quell my grief:
'Send me an Angel', I implore Him, 'make real,
The visage I see in my mind's eye, and in my heart, feel! '
We are almost there Heavenlyy Father, one more step-
All else is in order, I need now only, a promise kept!
-Maurice Harris,11 July 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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Justicia Est Lux (Justice Is Light)
Justice is really quite simple, it is never up for debate-
Yet, debate e'er surrounds it nonetheless;
For some, justice itself becomes a long, arduous wait,
For a time when you finally convince others of your righteousness.
It is said: 'justicia et lux'-or, justice is light-
Light, where before only darkness reigned.
Justice is doing only and always what is right-
True justice, not just justice fallaciously feigned.
Imagine a world where justice was not just an ideal,
But, an inalienable right that no one could steal-
A world where truth alone matters, and naught else;
A world half as inspired as our Forefathers envisioned-
A world where truth becomes known, and is not decisioned-
Where verity dwells above all, no matter of what else!
-Maurice Harris,17 March 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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The Last Day That Circumstances Stole
With no way to stop them, tears well up in his eyes;
He may no longer control his emotions, once he begins to realize,
That, at long last, the time has finally arrived-
The jolllity he has long-feigned, no longer need be contrived;
Today, a Father re-acquaints with a Daughter he barely knows,
He cries like a baby, yet believes it hardly shows;
No, there is naught with which to prepare for the exaltation
He now feels, down to his very soul-
Yesterday is now the last day that circumstances stole,
From both him and his beloved Daughter; today
Begins a new journey of discovery- a new way
To look at life; one of dreams no longer deferred-
One of anguish ended and of heartache conquered!
She turns the corner, now fully into view-
I think to myself: 'she looks just like you! ',
This miniature Angel-whose life has passed outside of mine eyes
Is now before me, when much to my surprise-
She says: 'hello Daddy, I have missed you so very much!
Though I have only a faint memory of your very touch,
I do very much remember you; I will never forget;
Memories of you are memories I could ne'er forfeit,
For I knew not, if I would ever again see you! !
I hoped that each man that I met, would be you!
I indubitably know where to place the blame-
She and I have naught in common, not e'en a last name!
Daddy, from now, and for always, it is going to be alright-
Now that I am again in your loving arms, and you hold me tight! '
Maurice Harris,24 June 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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The Seed
May my tears serve to nourish
The seed that is my dreams deferred-
May my life begin again, to flourish
As was, before I coffered my heart, now interred!
May my (now-feigned) smile serve to replenish
The jollity of the many years we have lost;
May the will of this Father's heartallow me to finish
What it is I started, no matter the cost!
May the hope I have for the future, in spite of it all,
Serve as the life force needed, to answer the call
Of my long-embattled, yet ever-resilient soul,
Which seeks the restoration of all that circumstance stole!
May the prayers that I pray, with dogged persistence,
Bring about long-sought aspiration that is my suffering's obsolescence!
poem by Maurice Harris
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A Mistake I Needed To Make
It was a mistake that simply had to be made-
I am stubborn-minded and apt to feel
Dubiety, which persists, unless I am swayed
By experiences, which I live and make real!
Given the gift of retrospection, the err is quite clear;
Though I did not listen to your now-sage advice,
It was due to more than just the spectre of fear-
Failure needed be mine, to render satisfice!
Oh, but to have it to do all over again, -
Where would we be, where but now, we newly begin! ?
Reality makes the hypothetical, now unclear;
We must allow the past to lie, and address the now, and here!
I only know of an ardent love, there all the while-
To opine otherwise would only meet with denial!
-Maurice Harris,2 August 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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Two Roads Diverged
If heartbreak had a face, mine would be it-
As you need only gaze into mine eyes, to see it;
For far too long, my life has been suspended,
And may never again be, as I intended.
They say: 'you make your own choices', but some make you!
You need to let go of the past and allow the future to take you
Wherever it may-I refuse to be a victim of my past,
I will find my happiness one day, and make it last!
The Sun shall surely shine another day,
To alight a path upon some other way
For me to restore a semblance of jollity,
To a life that for so very long has lacked this quality!
Two roads diverged in my life, I chose the wrong one-
Now I must double back and continue to be, the strong one!
-Maurice Harris,8 August 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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Scars May Fade
With an eye to the future, I must accept my past;
Lessons learned tragically will ensure they last,
That I may never forget what now is most prescient;
Though scars may fade, my anguish remains, extant
In a far disparate form than it once had;
Though, in the future, where I was once sad,
I shall surely brim over with jollity-
Yet shan't allow forget of this egregious inequality
That has so permanently altered my world;
As though into the path of a speeding freight train, I was hurled,
Without concern for my right to protection-
So, no, I shall not forget, e'en if correction
Is made, so as to make for proper redress;
This is something that my mind shall always address!
-Maurice Harris,24 May 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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I Just Cant Make It By Myself
(words & music by clara ward)
I need jesus to guide me every day
As Im travellin along this rough and narrow way
Though afflictions fill my soul
Im determined to make the goal
Ive gotta have jesus cause I just cant make it by myself
Every day I pray (pray) pray (pray)
Pray (pray) pray (pray)
I pray (pray) pray (pray
Pray pray pray
Pray and ask the lord jesus
Dont leave me by myself
Every mornin through the years I pray
You know Ive got to have jesus
I just cant it by myself
By myself
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Justice Of The Peace
(ian hunter)
Its such a terrible shame it was only a game
Then her brothers found out seven johnny be goodes
We was only pretending at mummys and daddys
They totally misunderstood
Oh what a terrible plight what a terrible fight
It was too much to bear her father said ere
I think you better sign its a letter designed
To have you married by the first of the year
Get the justice of the peace
Get the justice get the justice of the peace
Oh get the justice of the peace
Get the justice get the justice of the peace
If you want to play with fire
Youll get yourself burned
I was messing with the ashes
But look at how it turned out
Get the justice of the peace
Get the justice get the justice of the peace
Oh what a terrible waste such a shocking disgrace
To give me away Im too young to die
A shotgun wedding heading straight for the sky
And Im shy mary ellen Im shy y y y
Get the justice of the peace
Get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
Come on!
Get the justice of the peace
Get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
When your chips go down
You came on the dice
Forget the mississippi
Take some friendly advice
Get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
(give it to me old chum)
Get the justice of the peace
Get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
Get the justice of the peace
Get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
If you want to play with fire
Youll get yourself burned
And I was messing with the ashes
And look at how it turned out
Ill get the justice get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice get the justice of the peace
Ill get the justice Ill get the justice of the peace
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Faith
My Faith is all I need: it allows all that I believe;
There are no limits, so long as my heart and mind may conceive.
Surely it has been tested-necessary to know it exists-
Yet, when the calamitous clouds clear, its strength persists.
Faith is my only refuge, through a long, lonely night-
In an otherwise perpetual darkness, Faith is my only light!
This is all the aid I need, to suffer through any travesty-
Faith is my salvation, as I exalt in His Majesty!
Faith is my dream weaver, as I aspire to greater height:
The strength I possess, should I need to exercise might;
It resides in the safety of my heart, soul, and mind
And allows that I may leave even most grievous pain, behind;
Faith shines, upon my ultimate earthly destinations-
It is answer to all-past sorrows, current concerns, and future jubilations!
-Maurice Harris,8 February 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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Allow For Us, A Learned Reapproach
Oblige me my pain's ending, allow please it to cease-
Restoreth my jollity and return my heart to peace!
You are the only that may, as twas you who took it away!
Make it happen, as soon as yesterday-make it so now it stays!
Return at once my mind's peace and serenity,
All of this, and so much more, is within your ability!
Ask yourself: when was I my happiest? Respond to self;
I know too, that you mustn't put your heart upon a shelf!
What has more import: felicity unparalleled, or holding onto ghosts?
Answer: We are able to bring out in the other, our very most!
Allow for us, a learned reapproach, with lessons taught
The hard way! Able are we to move onward, nary a battle fought!
I love you as no other is capable-this I assure you!
I honor you, at each and all moments-because I adore you!
Maurice Harris,18 January 2008
poem by Maurice Harris
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In Him, There Is Justice
Constant is the struggle, betwixt truth and deceit-
Whyest then do most tend toward belief
Of largest of lies, until same crumble before their eyes?
Why is that the world, for a time, believed your lies?
More to the point, what were your reasons for such?
Again, why would you stray from 'yourself' so much?
Is not our family's import above all else?
Why then would you leave Father, gravely wronged, by himself?
What was so important at the time and since?
Why also, would those better in the know, respect your nonsense?
How many mistakes, lies and omissions need be there-
For Justice to emerge out of the seeming thin air?
Says The Good Book: 'in Him, there is Justice'-
That said, soon shall we see, the edge of this precipice!
Maurice Harris,23 December 2007
poem by Maurice Harris
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As I Grow Older
Though many fond memories have I-many made in this very place,
I must bid a fond adieu still, because time's wend shan't erase
The pain caused, nor the scars ne'er to be seen!
It goes without saying: what an unmitigating heartbreak it has been!
The time lapsed from the attendant events, now numbers years-
Alas, nights pass yet, where I may fill a chalice with my tears!
I spend days afeared, 'looking over my shoulder';
NO! I shan't allow its lasting, as I grow older!
Many, many times, the Sun has risen and the Sun has, again, set-
Since that wretched day causal to the theft of the peace I may never again get!
I have been 'gone' so long, I barely know who I used to be-
A shell of my former self stands in the mirror now before me!
I yearn for my post-traumatic life to truly begin-
I long to look the 'real' me in the mirror once again!
Maurice Harris,9 June 2010
poem by Maurice Harris
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Father's Day, Forbidden
Yet another Father's Day fastly apporaches
And a force outside of my control still encroaches
Upon my ability to be the Father I know I can be;
Two beautiful little Angels grow, yet, I can see
Only photographs-which surely do not show me
More than a brief moment in time-they do not know me,
Nor do I know them, yet we share a connection beyond the miles
That now seperate us. Am I cause for any smiles
They may have in times which are wholly their own! ?
Will this estrangement cease before they're grown,
And are able to make decisions without the influence of another?
When will they break ranks with the one they call 'Mother'-
To allow that their own concerns finally be considered?
When will the maternal selfishness, that has embittered
A Father, yield to the need of Daughters to know from whence they came?
I carry only remorse for the loss they have suffered-the shame,
That should be held by the two women who purport
To know what it means to be a Mother, yet fall very short!
I may not be the Father I know I am, until this veil of shame is lifted-
Nor may these Angels truly know what God Himself has gifted,
Both to me, and to them-this Father-Daughter bond;
To our tragic loss, how shall the Fates respond?
The answer will only unfold through the hands of time
And the travesty we now face may only be described as a crime.
I live many miles from them, but I carry them with me always-
No amount of time or space may take this away-all days
Which pass without them in my life belies the gratitude
I have for their very existence-indeed, a bittersweet beatitude!
One day, 'this too shall pass' and my heart's ache shall cease-
One day, this soul shall sing the sweet song of its own release
From the torment I now feel, for a consort that is not allowed, to be!
The gracious gift of Fatherhood, once avowed to me
By the very Hand of God, has been stolen by ignorance-
Earthly ignorance of the import of same-my abidance
Is surely not of my own making, but in nature, Divine;
When I wonder, shall this end! ? Just a little sign
Is all I shall need, to sustain me further still-
Until such time as this estrangement's end is His Will!
In the meantime, another poignant Father's Day to me
And all those similarly in search of their purpose: to be
All they were meant to be, for a child who needs their guidance.
This is what must be one day, to cease this soul's subsidence
Into an abyss-from which a return becomes less and less likely.
Instead of wondering: 'what if? ', I need to know what might be,
In a world filled with the two wonders-as my dreams have shown.
I need my eyes to behold, not photographs, to see how they have grown;
Until these dreams meet with reality, I shall never be whole-
Until you are again near me, we will never recover what they stole!
-Maurice Harris,13 June 2012
poem by Maurice Harris
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A Life, Lived Alone
What good is a life, lived alone,
With no one to share the adventure?
This is a 'failure', for which I need to atone;
But, I will not assent, until I am sure
That the lady meets all the needs
Of my heart, soul, and mind-
My want to love more than I do myself impedes
The 'progress' that causes others to leave behind
All of their hopes and dreams, to settle for less!
I refuse! Perhaps I will fall prey to my own stubborn pride-
What will happen is anyone's guess,
But this has been my stance since the day I died!
I am not here to collect relationships-I am here
To find a mate for my soul, and to do so, without fear!
Maurice Harris,24 July 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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My Love's 'Deja Vu
Many fond memories have I, of my youth's yesterday,
Though days long gone by, felicitous memories do stay!
My jollity of today, for as many as there may be-
Each day, next, my dreams are closer to reality!
Many wishful thoughts have I, of my tomorrows,
Mere thought of thee doth wipe away and all sorrows!
Much time hath seen we, betwixt last we had met,
Though know not did we, our fates would reconnect!
A powerful, yet foreign sensation, did overwhelm,
With the power of an unimaginably beauteous emotion, at the helm!
Whence first I allowed gifting of mine own heart,
I had no knowledge that its home lay wherest it did start!
I do live, but for to love and cherish but one,
No means of resistance have I, only may I relish what comes!
Maurice Harris,8 January 2010
poem by Maurice Harris
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The Peace I Seek
The peace I seek is not in time, nor space-
It is in this Father's contented soul, that will replace
The anguish I have felt for so very long;
This torment weakens a heart once so very strong-
Naught may be done to rid me of this pain
That I have not tried again and again.
My mission has been foretold and is Divinely Ordained,
Though my path has been muddled, my Faith has never waned!
To say that I am heart-broken though, only tells half the story:
I have seen with mine own eyes, its power and glory.
Words may not explicate the true depths of my sorrow,
Nor will they meet with reasoned understanding by tomorrow.
All that in which I once truly, ardently believed
Has been stolen from me-I was maliciously deceived,
Both by those I trusted, and by ideals such as truth and justice;
In a world where both are decided by those who bow to cowardice,
Deceit and thievery have been richly rewarded;
Though I fought bravely for same, I have not been afforded
One single, God-given right, supposedly 'guaranteed' for me.
I have bled for these rights-who bleeds for me?
How does this idealist reckon with his bitter duality?
I once held the vision and the dream, close before me.
How could I be so naive-as if my love could also adore me! ?
When given a choice, the meek shall indeed inherit the Earth!
I do not bow to cowardice, because I know truth and all it is worth.
It could be said that I have nothing,
Yet, in truth, I possess everything,
Because I have truth and courage, and that's all I need!
This is the message He wishes I heed:
The only things freely given, are of love born;
That absconded from us, we are allowed to mourn,
Yet, shan't cede to do contrariwise in return-
The truth is the only thing that we can ever truly discern!
-Maurice Harris,27 June 2012
poem by Maurice Harris
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A Eulogy (For Memories Past)
Soon, this regrettable experience shall be in the past;
While there are memories which are sure to last,
I hope to leave behind, all that I am able-
Circumstances around which, Aesop could fashion a fine fable;
That said, there is perhaps even more, still unknown
As I prepare to leave here, as I came-all alone!
Perhaps, as the past fades, into utter inconsequence,
The future will marry my imagined magnificence!
A heart, full of hope and lots of faith, is all I shall take
From here with me, to help fashion the future I shall make,
From the ashes of a past I am not allowed to forget-
Into the all-empowering abyss, go memories I am not too proud to forfeit,
For the sake of both my health and my sanity,
The death eulogized with one last profanity!
-Maurice Harris,12 October 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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