Aspiration Of A Future, To Efface The Past
I need use my mind's eye, to see you;
I've no access to photographs, no way to see to
A remembrance of you, except in this way!
I long to once again be graced by you-I've dreamt of this day
Many, many times, so that I may at long last
Look beyond a most tragic consequence of my past:
Namely, that I allowed fear to make a decision
That I have lived to regret every day, since its commission!
May God again grant both of us with the other's consort-
This alone seems to befit or comport
With the wants of my heart, soul, and mind-
You, my beloved, are the memory I could not hope to leave behind!
In a world of glorious imperfection, you are as perfect as I could hope you to be,
I pray to God each night, to divine your 'perfection', to me!
Maurice Harris,20 July 2011
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My Temporary Home
I can put up photographs of loved ones
And other familiar items, when I need some,
But this will never be more than my temporary home!
Here, in the land of prodigal sons,
I hope I never just assimilate;
All I have to do is time-nothing more!
Long ago, I accepted that my fate
Would be decided by looking past this, to something more!
Never once was a really given a choice,
But I am determined to give my future a voice
That erases regrets of the past, and to have none new-
I wish to better the lives of loved ones, and to have one, too!
This is but my temporary home, I hope for one, more permanent,
With faith and hope, I may help Him to determine it!
Maurice Harris,19 July 2011
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The Gift Of My Fatherhood
Haunted by yesterday and memories embedded in my soul;
I am determined to make up for the jollity it stole;
With a hopeful heart and an ardent, faithful mind,
I endeavor every day, to leave the past, behind!
Why may I not pay riddance, this anguish-
Why do I allow its spectre to to languish
Within me, stealing my todays, as well?
When will this end? I guess only time will tell!
Long-held beliefs have become myths of naivete;
The justice I believed a birth right, is now that for which I pray,
Nightly, sometimes hourly-and not only for me-
I pray too, for my Daughters, and for the gift of my Fatherhood, to be!
'This too shall pass'-yes, when this justice is restored;
'This' shall pass, and my long-sought peace of mind, assured!
-Maurice Harris,5 June 2011
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My Impassioned Offer
For many years, my dear beloved friend,
You and I have shared a mutual devotion
That does not seem to want for an end!
Its power may be felt across the largest ocean
And its glory streches further than the eye may see;
Naught may hope to contain this simple verity:
I love you and you love me-even as this may be,
You could not hope to have further clarity!
We are a divinely-inspired pairing, to be sure-
Brought into one another's lives with a purpose in mind;
Perhaps we never queried same, only welcomed its allure-
Yet, I shall now: 'Heavenly Father, far too kind
Art Thou to see to this consort, and all it has brought!
Much obliged and humbled are we, at Thine Grace;
Aid us only now, to make it to be what it ought-
Only in You, would we, this trust, emplace! '
As though a compelling love story, for want of a sequel,
Our history together plays over and over in my mind-
You are the love that my heart knows has not, an equal-
The beautificent memory I could never leave behind!
What happens next is entirely up to you;
Ask your heart; sikerly, it shall tell you what to do-
It possesses a truth that your mind may not,
Which may be too afeared to do as it ought!
Should your heart be the victor, in that battle fought,
You and I may, at long last, garner what we have sought-
Namely, one another, and all that we are-
I, the star gazer, and you, the shining star!
Consider this my impassioned offer, please do not refuse it;
I proffer a purposeful life and hope you choose it!
I know you love me, in fact, I know it well-
Together, we may fashion the story we lovingly tell:
A story of an ordinary man with an extraordinary capacity
To love, coupled with an equally persistent audacity
To treat you as the Princess that you have always been-
With you, the scene-stealer, who ensures I always win!
The pact betwixt your heart and mine
Is now on the the table, for you to sign;
You may not be prepared, you may be frightened,
Yet, I implore you still, to embrace my amorous offer-
Our love is divined and I have been enlightened,
It is for you alone, my heart foregoes its coffer!
Maurice Harris,9 July 2011
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A Life, Lived Alone
What good is a life, lived alone,
With no one to share the adventure?
This is a 'failure', for which I need to atone;
But, I will not assent, until I am sure
That the lady meets all the needs
Of my heart, soul, and mind-
My want to love more than I do myself impedes
The 'progress' that causes others to leave behind
All of their hopes and dreams, to settle for less!
I refuse! Perhaps I will fall prey to my own stubborn pride-
What will happen is anyone's guess,
But this has been my stance since the day I died!
I am not here to collect relationships-I am here
To find a mate for my soul, and to do so, without fear!
Maurice Harris,24 July 2011
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A Promise Kept
All alone in the darkness, all alone in the light,
All alone with anguish of my soul,
Through the long, dark, lonely night!
This is what her deceit gifted and what it stole:
No one here to comfort me, nor to allay my fears,
No one may take away the abject pain,
Nor may anyone wipe away the tears
That fall upon my pillow, again and again!
With a wish in my heavy heart, I pray for relief-
That my Good and Gracious God may quell my grief:
'Send me an Angel', I implore Him, 'make real,
The visage I see in my mind's eye, and in my heart, feel! '
We are almost there Heavenlyy Father, one more step-
All else is in order, I need now only, a promise kept!
-Maurice Harris,11 July 2011
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The Unknown Reality Of Beautiful Imperfection
You and your Sister are perfect,
Though I do not want you to stay that way.
You are made to be through your absence, which I wish to correct;
My heart has been scarred since that day
When your grace was taken from my sight!
I pray that I may revel in the reality of your beautiful imperfection,
As I speak with my Heavenly Father every night-
As my is pained with this insurrection!
For far too long, I have possessed aspiration alone,
To gather what you may be like, or how you may have grown.
My imagination is not good enough, I suppose,
To paint any subtle imperfections as both of you grows,
From the perfect miracles, endowed to me, by my Creator,
To become the young ladies you are now, which is even greater!
-Maurice Harris,16 August 2011
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A Eulogy (For Memories Past)
Soon, this regrettable experience shall be in the past;
While there are memories which are sure to last,
I hope to leave behind, all that I am able-
Circumstances around which, Aesop could fashion a fine fable;
That said, there is perhaps even more, still unknown
As I prepare to leave here, as I came-all alone!
Perhaps, as the past fades, into utter inconsequence,
The future will marry my imagined magnificence!
A heart, full of hope and lots of faith, is all I shall take
From here with me, to help fashion the future I shall make,
From the ashes of a past I am not allowed to forget-
Into the all-empowering abyss, go memories I am not too proud to forfeit,
For the sake of both my health and my sanity,
The death eulogized with one last profanity!
-Maurice Harris,12 October 2011
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The Gift, Given; The Life, Striven.
I cannot stay asleep, my soul is stirring like it has, ne'er before;
My heart is alive again, as though it were not e'er, before;
My mind is racing, there is so much I wish to impart,
My lips are quivering, as they wait for my mouth to start
Speaking with the beloved source of all this beauteous agitation-
The entirety of my existence is wholly duteous, to the vocation
That is adoration of same-I am not able to explicate this any more;
Though, I do know however, that as time wends, there shall be many more
Reasons for this adoration, as time and love collect them, as gifts, to me;
I await this verity of my heart to meander back-as I hope it shifts to me
Once again, to never fall asunder again; this is all that, for which my heart,
Mind, and soul most ardently hope-the only way that each may possibly cope
With this most profound loss-as now I have only to keep the faith, and hope
For what I know is to be-my long-sought-for life-to finally start!
-Maurice Harris,14 January 2012
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What It Means To Forgive
They say: 'to err is human, to forgive, divine',
Though one may proffer you deserve none, I offer mine!
Know not do I, the depths of your inner turmoil,
Yet I am all too aware of it being lain, to boil!
Alas, love is not needed in order to forgive,
It allows a more fastidious, permanent understanding;
This decision must be one with which you may live-
Thus, in its righteousness, our conviction must be commanding!
You shall see, as do I, all attendant facts-
Then truly shall we bear witness to how your heart acts!
What your mind created-a self-fulfilling prophesy,
You allowed to become real-truly a tragedy!
Shun now the spectre, of all who hurt you,
Make consort again with the onlyone who'll ne'er desert you!
Maurice Harris,14 June 2008
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My Faith
My Faith is all I need: it allows all that I believe;
There are no limits, so long as my heart and mind may conceive.
Surely it has been tested-necessary to know it exists-
Yet, when the calamitous clouds clear, its strength persists.
Faith is my only refuge, through a long, lonely night-
In an otherwise perpetual darkness, Faith is my only light!
This is all the aid I need, to suffer through any travesty-
Faith is my salvation, as I exalt in His Majesty!
Faith is my dream weaver, as I aspire to greater height:
The strength I possess, should I need to exercise might;
It resides in the safety of my heart, soul, and mind
And allows that I may leave even most grievous pain, behind;
Faith shines, upon my ultimate earthly destinations-
It is answer to all-past sorrows, current concerns, and future jubilations!
-Maurice Harris,8 February 2011
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Dreams' Allusion To A Reality Yet To Be
Yet another holiday has been robbed from us
By iniquity masked very crudely, as justice;
My aspiration will meet with a fanciful fruition,
When I no longer need paternal intuition
To paint the picture that is you, in all your glory-
When I no longer need a pen, to tell a story
Of my grievous pain, in the face of your absence,
But rather, am allowed to revel in the grace of your pleasance;
We must bide still my beloved Daughter, until it is that time-
Until our Gracious Father decides that we are prime,
For the consort long, long ago waylaid;
We have done our part, with a faith that never strayed
And need only for the wait to be concluded-
So our reality becomes that, to which our dreams have only alluded!
-Maurice Harris,24 April 2011
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A Conflict Between Love And Hate
Years ago and a world away from here,
There was the naive man I used to be-
A man, who steadfastly refused to see
That you were the very last woman that I should have come near!
In retrospect, it is the worst decision I ever made,
Except for the one precious gift you cannot take away!
But for her, thoughts of you would not take a day
Of my precious time; I have ardently prayed
For a resolution to this conflict, between love and hate-
That I may forgive you for all that you have done,
And move past the hatred that continues to complicate
The quest of a Father, to make his Daughter number one!
For the sake of her alone, I try to leave hate in the past,
To forget all the reasons for same that I have amassed!
-Maurice Harris,30 July 2011
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But One Prayer Have I, Unrequited
I have seen magnificence and beauty unparalleled, or so seeming-
Nothing rivals the beautificence of that seen, whilst I am dreaming!
But for now must I slumber, before her essence true, I may partake-
Nothing would I not do to make this so, whilst I am also awake;
I have lived a blessed life thence, one surely more than have most,
Yet, I want for but one precious wish, left presently without riposte-
'Good and gracious Lord, but one prayer have I, unrequited;
Lest I should not feel in this perceived lacking, by You, smited-
I beseech Thee, Lord, make for me and my beloved, true consort;
She-a guerdon of sorts, for my faith, fidelity and fastidious comport!
I do avow my Lord, a life of which You shall continue to be proud;
I do not question, nor feel smirched by, all that You have allowed;
I know Lord, Your goal is but to make me, for Your plan, prime-
Alas, Lord-assure You I do, she is the one, and this is our time! '
Maurice Harris,18 November 2009
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The Soul I Once Chose To Keep Away
Your love has been so very bountiful,
And with it you have never failed me;
My recompense for same was surely doubtful
As I was overcome with fear, and failed thee.
I have grown so much and in so many ways
Since my regrettable failure, to which I look back
With both sorrow and regret on so many days;
From the depths of my most profound loss, I took back
Control over the demons which caused me to doubt you-
And now, I know I may not truly 'live', without you;
You are needed, as flowers need the rain-
Without you, there exists only heartache and pain,
At the realization that trepidation cost me so many years;
Never again shall I live, subject to my fears-
For that is not life at all, it is a failure to live:
A heart is not alive if there is a failure to give
It away to its mate, when its mate is found;
A soul that dwells is this way, is bound
In chains, just as a prisoner, interred;
To live in this way, where a soul's wither is inferred
Is akin to a voluntary death sentence.
I refuse to continue to serve such penance,
For the sake of a fear, long-sice defeated;
The mistakes of my past shall never again be repeated;
To not reward your love with unabashed love in return
Is surely one-one for which I hope to one day earn
Both redemption and a second chance-
At a once-inspired, yet all-too-brief romance.
God-willing, this will come to be, one day,
And I will consort again, with the soul I once chose to keep away!
-Maurice Harris,6 September 2011
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The Only Justice I Really Seek
'Who am I? ' I will only know, when I am allowed to see
The future that God has graciously avowed to me,
After both injustice and death, as well as before.
Life has new meaning now, as does what I am fighting for:
The only two resplendent sureties in seas of deceit-
This is what is needed to make my life complete!
My life yearns for them, as the 'purpose' He intended-
Until this wrong is righted, until this tear is mended,
My heart, and indeed my mind, and shattered soul,
Will never understand the contentment of simply being whole!
My ears hear them cry out to me, though they are not near;
My eyes long for sight of them, because they are not here;
My heart aches, in the face of their tragic absence,
While my mind may only imagine their true magnificence!
Their consortium is the only justice I really seek;
They are the only strength I need, where I am truly weak;
May my thousands of pleaded prayers, finally find answer,
To rid my world of this anguish, this fully-metastasized cancer!
Much in mind, and in many ways, moribund-since that day;
Yet, I must brave what comes, no matter what may-
Because, as I need them, they need me even more;
We three patiently await the Natural Order, to restore-
Whereby the rights of these two precious jewels
Are no longer absconded by minions and fools!
This once-broken Father's heart now seeks repair,
Through the riddance of the estrangement, and the despair
Into which it has been drawn me, since that horrific day-
When this shall come to pass though, no one may say;
It is in the Hands of my Heavenly Father to decide;
All I may do is humbly pray for redress, and faithfully bide!
-Maurice Harris,24 September 2011
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As The Loveliest Diamond
Thou art, as the loveliest diamond:
The hardest 'substance' known to man-
To forget-even if I were prime, and
Accepted such, I do not know if I can.
Should I possess 1,000 lifetimes to do so,
And all manner of distraction along the way,
I would ne'er hope for this ardor to go-
And should it-I would surely rue the day
That this resplendent glory would have past,
From mine sight and be known by me, no more.
This, my beloved, is the hold thou hast
Upon me, and thou art all I ever could have hoped for-
Until that day when a 'flaw' was found:
One that you wished away, lest you have to face it.
Perhaps, this was not presented to confound,
But rather, as the most effective way to erase it,
Both as a source of fear and as an impediment
To what otherwise was amorous 'perfection';
Perhaps, its presentation was not yet meant
To be-and it was in need of further maturation.
I am reminded of sentiment that you ceded to me-
Which spoke of what you believed you needed to be
Before you could allow for this couplet-
Ironically, the diamond bespeaks of it:
The one factor that sets it apart from all else.
This 'imperfection' is one that only you may propulse-
With the reward, all that it now keeps away!
Once gone, all form of trepidation sweeps away,
Almost as though it were never even there;
Of course, why would you even dare
Take one step closer to this 'perfection',
Unless what awaits you is worth this self-insurrection-
Toward a part of you, with which you wish to part! ?
You must surely beg this anguish to part,
So that you may find the inner-contentment
That dwells within you-this will take commitment,
Both to yourself and to the gift that awaits you-
Both to what you could be, and what that creates, too!
-Maurice Harris,23 July 2012
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My Wonders
I wish I needed to wonder no more
About the wonders I do so very much adore;
I get down upon bended knee and pray
For this wonder to finally go away,
Supplanted by the wonders-these wonders of mine-
So that I may at last, leave this wonder behind!
Alas, wonder is all I now possess-
Though, about these wonders, I do now obsess:
How are they, I wonder? My mind wanders
To them each and every day, as it ponders
Their fate, in light of the wonder taken from their sight-
I wonder if, perhaps, they just might
See me as a wonder, contrariwise-
Sadly, my wonder must suffice, until our reprise!
-Maurice Harris,27 July 2011
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My Spiritual Regain
Think not my absence, as apathy's verity-
When the same is but a memory to lament,
Supplanted by the consort of my aspiration's futurity,
You are sure to forget what is now most prescient;
Though the pain we both now feel seems everlasting,
'This too shall pass', with the passage of time;
Gone too shall surely be the pall same is casting
Upon us now-this itself, a most egregious crime!
I look to this much-aspired future with great hope;
More than a mere goal that I wish to attain,
It is the very means by which I now cope
With losses too numerous to count and my grievous pain;
This journey is sure to be long, as great is its scope-
Yet, it is necessary to ensure my Spiritual Regain!
-Maurice Harris,28 January 2011
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How Much Must I endure?
'How much must I endure? ' I say to thee-
'How long must I bide? ', for the Glorious Day, to be,
'When I may count amongst many a Blessing-
The moment when, at long last, our lips are caressing
Each, the others-and other moments, about which WE dream?
When might we each truly discover our soul's redeem? '
'How much must I endure? ', you say, to me-
'How long must I bide, for the Glorious Day, to be,
When I am allowed to actualize that to which I aspire?
At what point do I get to realize my every desire? '
'Now, Precious Children of Mine! ', booms a Voice, from Above-
'The Time is NOW Beloveds, for Your Eternal Love! '
-Maurice Harris,26 January 2012
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Help This Angel To See (A Prayer-In Iambic Pentameter)
Mighty miracles created from wraith-
All it takes is just a little faith;
I have the same, and so very much more-
What then, may I, one fine day, have in store?
I know not with surety, but this much:
Amongst my most ardent desires, as such,
There is an Angel, with which I wish consort-
I pray same-thusly, to Him, I'd exhort:
'I have asked naught of Thee, yet I ask now-
Grant me this one wish, I need not ask how
Or why You'd proffer this Angel to me,
Only that You help this Angel, to see
The Truth in her own heart, and that in mine:
A Truth our hearts may no longer confine! '
-Maurice Harris,28 January 2011
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