A Heart To Heart (With My Heart)
'Hold on', I encourage it, '...a little longer! '
Soon, victories will be had, to make you stronger,
Both in literal and figurative senses-
Do not think how long it has been, since this
Has been more than wishful rumination,
To emboldened me-it is your station
To be my strength-all that I may need!
Prepare me now, for the call I may heed,
'Tomorrow', or certainly before I am fully prepared-
All call you have wanted, but I have only dared
To consider, as a possibility in most lofty thought:
To finally be allowed to be the Father I ought!
The hurdles have been many, as have the days-
I have the patience and the will-provide me the ways!
-Maurice Harris,28 July 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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Destruction, Divined
No longer missed and no longer needed-
Like the once-passionate call of the heart
That is now, sadly, no longer heeded!
If there were anything that I wished to impart
To this world, it would be a presence that mattered;
I have nothing, except that which seems ethereal-
The remnants of a once-enviable life, now battered
By events that defy explication, but are all too real!
I now query what I used to take as given;
All that, for which my whole life I have striven
Was plundered, absconded or otherwise destroyed;
Was this indeed something I could not avoid! ?
I suppose so-that is the enigma of God's great Mystery!
I pray that I am made stronger because of this history!
Maurice Harris,18 July 2011
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The Last Day That Circumstances Stole
With no way to stop them, tears well up in his eyes;
He may no longer control his emotions, once he begins to realize,
That, at long last, the time has finally arrived-
The jolllity he has long-feigned, no longer need be contrived;
Today, a Father re-acquaints with a Daughter he barely knows,
He cries like a baby, yet believes it hardly shows;
No, there is naught with which to prepare for the exaltation
He now feels, down to his very soul-
Yesterday is now the last day that circumstances stole,
From both him and his beloved Daughter; today
Begins a new journey of discovery- a new way
To look at life; one of dreams no longer deferred-
One of anguish ended and of heartache conquered!
She turns the corner, now fully into view-
I think to myself: 'she looks just like you! ',
This miniature Angel-whose life has passed outside of mine eyes
Is now before me, when much to my surprise-
She says: 'hello Daddy, I have missed you so very much!
Though I have only a faint memory of your very touch,
I do very much remember you; I will never forget;
Memories of you are memories I could ne'er forfeit,
For I knew not, if I would ever again see you! !
I hoped that each man that I met, would be you!
I indubitably know where to place the blame-
She and I have naught in common, not e'en a last name!
Daddy, from now, and for always, it is going to be alright-
Now that I am again in your loving arms, and you hold me tight! '
Maurice Harris,24 June 2011
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My Friend, Freedom
It is represented by the Stars and Stripes,
The American Bald Eagle, and all types
Of other things, too numerous to mention;
It is invaluable, but it is no sort of invention;
This audacious ideal we call Freedom-of choice,
Of religion, of the press-which gives a voice
To everyone, no matter how meek they may be!
When free, Freedom is all that they may see-
But when they are not, are they then blind
To all they once saw, but now do not find?
This may be like vacation to some, but not for me-
Not especially, for one, as I, who fought for Thee!
Freedom, my long lost, life-long friend,
When will our agonizing estrangement finally end?
Maurice Harris,23 July 2011
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The Only Justice I Really Seek
'Who am I? ' I will only know, when I am allowed to see
The future that God has graciously avowed to me,
After both injustice and death, as well as before.
Life has new meaning now, as does what I am fighting for:
The only two resplendent sureties in seas of deceit-
This is what is needed to make my life complete!
My life yearns for them, as the 'purpose' He intended-
Until this wrong is righted, until this tear is mended,
My heart, and indeed my mind, and shattered soul,
Will never understand the contentment of simply being whole!
My ears hear them cry out to me, though they are not near;
My eyes long for sight of them, because they are not here;
My heart aches, in the face of their tragic absence,
While my mind may only imagine their true magnificence!
Their consortium is the only justice I really seek;
They are the only strength I need, where I am truly weak;
May my thousands of pleaded prayers, finally find answer,
To rid my world of this anguish, this fully-metastasized cancer!
Much in mind, and in many ways, moribund-since that day;
Yet, I must brave what comes, no matter what may-
Because, as I need them, they need me even more;
We three patiently await the Natural Order, to restore-
Whereby the rights of these two precious jewels
Are no longer absconded by minions and fools!
This once-broken Father's heart now seeks repair,
Through the riddance of the estrangement, and the despair
Into which it has been drawn me, since that horrific day-
When this shall come to pass though, no one may say;
It is in the Hands of my Heavenly Father to decide;
All I may do is humbly pray for redress, and faithfully bide!
-Maurice Harris,24 September 2011
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Dreams' Allusion To A Reality Yet To Be
Yet another holiday has been robbed from us
By iniquity masked very crudely, as justice;
My aspiration will meet with a fanciful fruition,
When I no longer need paternal intuition
To paint the picture that is you, in all your glory-
When I no longer need a pen, to tell a story
Of my grievous pain, in the face of your absence,
But rather, am allowed to revel in the grace of your pleasance;
We must bide still my beloved Daughter, until it is that time-
Until our Gracious Father decides that we are prime,
For the consort long, long ago waylaid;
We have done our part, with a faith that never strayed
And need only for the wait to be concluded-
So our reality becomes that, to which our dreams have only alluded!
-Maurice Harris,24 April 2011
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The Grace Of God
It is but for the Grace of God I pen this-
Not so very long ago, I was asked to begin this
Life anew-as though one of His Children, reborn;
Now, I am Blessed with proof, which doth adorn
Mine own, once-ceased, fragile heart;
I know this to be His way to impart
To me and the rest of the world entire, a message:
As for hope, faith, and love-He is the last vestige
Of all that is pure and good in this world-
In His own image, mine shall e'er be unfurled
For all to see, as means by which to recompense this wondrous gift
Of new-found life, now and ever causal to the uplift
Of mine heart, mind, and inspired soul;
I know not if I've accomplished same, yet, this is my goal!
It is but through the Grace of God, and God alone
That I possess the very strength I do now own;
Prescience of same hath been gifted to all
Since the day when I nearly answered His Call
To come Home, at long last, to be among
His other Children, where I belong;
I was not ready; my presence was not then needed-
Though His Call I would have gladly heeded.
His purpose was to ready me for what is to come,
So that when all seemed to be lost, I would not succumb
To weakness and despair when I need be strong-
Nor to impatience, where the road is long.
'Thank You Heavenly Father, for the love You saw to provide;
For the Strength You gifted; for how You saw to decide
That I was so very important that You would guide me-
Not from above, in back, or in front-but beside me! '
-Maurice Harris,19 March 2011
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She Looks Just Like You!
'She looks just like you! ', it says, on the back of the photograph;
Alas, this photograph (and others) is all I have,
To remind me that my importance has not faded
And that I need restore the Natural Order that He created
For a beautiful little lady, who knows not, her 'Dad';
Oh, if only I could share with her, the dreams I had
For a future that put her in the forefront
And not this 'present', subjugated to what others want!
So long as the status quo is maintained, they are satiate,
Yet, with their near-sightedness, they fail to appreciate
What is of paramount importance is this Father-Daughter bond;
Until our consort's reprise, I hold onto memories, most fond,
Of a little lady, I, sadly, no longer know...
And watch emotions that could be no stronger, grow!
-Maurice Harris,5 September 2011
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Aspiration Of A Future, To Efface The Past
I need use my mind's eye, to see you;
I've no access to photographs, no way to see to
A remembrance of you, except in this way!
I long to once again be graced by you-I've dreamt of this day
Many, many times, so that I may at long last
Look beyond a most tragic consequence of my past:
Namely, that I allowed fear to make a decision
That I have lived to regret every day, since its commission!
May God again grant both of us with the other's consort-
This alone seems to befit or comport
With the wants of my heart, soul, and mind-
You, my beloved, are the memory I could not hope to leave behind!
In a world of glorious imperfection, you are as perfect as I could hope you to be,
I pray to God each night, to divine your 'perfection', to me!
Maurice Harris,20 July 2011
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Ne'er Again, Ne'er Again
Today, yet another impediment to my liberty
Has fallen-I wonder what this means for me? !
Could my freedom be near at hand, at long last?
May soon, the day come, when I may look past
All that has happened, and finally start anew?
First though, I must pick up the pieces, to rebuild my heart anew!
Mine faithful patience has outlasted it all-
Now only, may I move from under this iniquitous pall.
Once freedom is again mine, I shan't take same, for granted-
Nor shall I ever forget all that this freedom supplanted;
I've so much I want to do, so much I wish to see-
Yet, I only have one thing that I wish to be-
A Father- to the two most Angelic little ladies there have e'er been;
For far too long we have lost, -ne'er again, ne'er again!
-Maurice Harris,8 April 2011
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Abiding Love's Quintessence
I am the very air that you respire;
The form your visions take, whence you aspire
To heights more lofty than you hitherto thought;
I am the vulnerability that you long-fought-
Against the relinquishment of your heart-
The fear and loathing of the imminent impart
Of true love for another, lest a future not fully known;
I am your heart's shadow, to ensure you are never alone.
I am the beauty you now hear in a beautiful song,
The new-found solace of your soul, there all along;
I am the quietude you feel, that tumult belies-
The solution to your heart's steadfast refusal to compromise;
You are more than welcome to truly make my acquaintance, -
You seek abiding, unconditional love-I am its quintessence!
-Maurice Harris,30 March 2011
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No Longer Snow On Kilimanjaro
I long for thee but whence I have occasion to respire;
Thou art the solitary object, of which I shan't e'er tire;
Rumination of thee shall surely one day be done-
One day after we no longer bask under the warmth of the Sun;
As soon as all the stars can no longer shine,
This is when you shall find love more ardent than mine;
My desire to be ever-nearer to thee shall surely wane-
Just as soon as we dwell in a world without rain;
To be without thee shall no longer be my sorrow,
Upon the Winter's day there is no longer snow on Kilimanjaro!
The hands of time shall surely need cease in their entirety,
Before, upon mine ardor, I may draw even the slightest dubiety;
Upon mine heart, soul, and mine's fidelity, you may depend-
So it was then, so it is now, so it shall be-when time doth end!
-Maurice Harris,11 March 2011
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An Angel Asked, I Answered
I wonder if you know that I exist-
Dubiety as this continues to persist,
In spite of the fact that you must carry the belief
That something is missing, causal to your heart's grief;
Others have decided what is best for you-
With regard only for themselves, they attest for you
What is in your best interests-for shame!
These sanctimonius 'guardians' are to blame
For the anguish you must feel, deep in your soul;
There is simpl no recompense for what they stole:
Birthdays; firsts too numerous to count,
Whose absquatulation long ago began to mount,
In the form of lamentation, too grievous for word-
Time does not heal this-contrary to what you may have heard!
'Why are you so determined? ', you might ask,
With regard to this incredibly daunting task;
For your understanding to become ever-clearer,
You need only gaze upon thineself, in the mirror-
Therein, my beloved Angel, lies my only answer,
As retort, to why I need rid this all-consuming cancer!
One day my beloved Daughter, we'll have to wonder no longer,
As our estrangement ceases, and we become stronger,
Due our long-suffering, yet ever-faithful patience-
Until at last, we are once again privy to one another's pleasance;
Naught shall serve as detraction, nor deterrence-
In front of God Himself, I would repeat mine averance,
To same: I shan't cede to respite, nor allow rest
Until I have accomplished that to which I attest!
With aid from my Benevolent and Almighty God,
I find the strength and faith needed, to plod
On still, until this unceasing anguish, finally does;
To restore the pained heart of a Father to the way it was
Before the iniquitous onslaught causal to its death-
Until once again, the glory that is you-I await with bated breath!
'My Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name,
Implore Thee I do: remake the once-glorious, once again, the same!
If not for me Father, then for the Angel ou bestowed upon me,
For if ever there were one deserving of of this, it is She!
I do know this to be an oft-uttered refrain,
Yet, in Your Wisdom, You have allowed this abyss to remain,
Where once was mine heart and soul-
This prayer answered, is the only way to make me again, whole!
Maurice Harris,20 April 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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This Ardor Is My Strength
I met my love as a child, afeared and unaware;
Now I see that my love has always been right 'there'-
I loved her then and I love her evermore, still-
Surely, I always have and I always, always will!
I know she loves me, because my heart tells me its true;
I know she calls for me, as surely as I call for her too-
This is all I need, I want for no further attestation-
My heart has been calling, I accept its invitation!
I wait no longer, my destiny has arrived, at long last-
I take leave of this place, to remain only in my past-
My home is where my heart has been for so very long,
I must provide wings for this love-its calling, so very strong!
This ardor is my strength, my truth, my light-which leads my way-
The glow of which becomes ever more resplendent every single day!
Maurice Harris,31 May 2010
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True Strength
I remember as a little boy, the enraptured awe
I felt when I thought of my Father, and how strong he was;
Sadly, my eyes were not trained, so that's all I saw
And thus, believed him a heroic figure, because
Of same-yet, I was so sadly mistaken!
My Father was not a hero, nor was he truly strong-
He was a coward, and I am sorry he has taken
So much, from so many-and that he did it for so long!
Now, as a man, I know the essence of true strength-
It is the ability to remain resolute in your conviction,
No matter the consequences imposed, no matter the length
Of suffering endured-this is real life, not fiction,
Or make believe-here, pain is very real;
True strength is the endurance, to endure that which you feel,
Inside, at the thought of all the pain endured-
The ability to realize that, his untimely death cured
The weakness he tried to hide frrom the rest of us,
He took so much through cowardice, but not the best of us-
We have nothing, about which to be ashamed,
The monster I called my Father, is the only one to be blamed!
-Maurice Harris,28 August 2011
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Güzel
Güzel, semper, my mind doth ruminate fondly of thee,
With beauteous thoughts and a wondrous constancy!
I long for thee, for your long-sought, gentle caress,
To beget from, and proffer thee yet, all we each possess!
My heart, gladdens with thought of consort, near;
I envisage our future's glory, in my mind's eye, so clear,
Lest thee bethink me too lofty a dreamer, a vision seeker,
At once, my heart is made both stronger and weaker-
Both loyal guardian and in need of it's own ward,
My love's adorement, whilst in want to be adored!
Always and ever, more compassion clemented, still:
So too this shall be, betwixt we both, at the least, until
Time is no more, life is not with us, space is no longer-
This glory we do both feel, shall we then, though stronger!
Maurice Harris,26 October 2009
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Man's Inhumanity To Man
All people, places and events share a Karmic connection,
And no deed is left untethered to this inter-relation
Of consequence, -for every action, there is an equal, but opposite, reaction!
A wave in one direction is an ebb in the opposite direction;
So too, for a depraved indifference to humanity-
Somehow, you shall be repayed for this insanity,
Whether it happens in this life or the next
Is not known; Though, I admit, I am perplexed
That it has not happened as of yet-
Why do I still await the time when I may forget
The past and allow my fragile heart to finally heal?
I suppose, only when you may no longer steal
My 'todays' and sully my 'tomorrows'-
When you are no longer responsible for my sorrows!
-Maurice Harris,27 July 2011
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All My Hopes And Dreams
All my hopes and dreams have come true
Owe it all indeed to only you:
Your fascinating spirit lifts me to great height,
Ne'er had I imagined this love's might!
I truly do love you more than I could myself,
Our amity has taken a life unto itself!
Whensoever you shall need me, surely I will heed your call,
If ever you desire such I shall ease your fall!
All ever you are that I could imagine,
The mere thought of you-I am arush with adrenaline!
Confounding and complex, yet as simply as may be:
I am in love with you and you, with me!
I am empowered to move mountains with strength given,
Only to fortify still, passed our lives we are living!
Maurice Harris,22 October 2008
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Solitary Strength
'What Lord, is wanted of me in this time
Of much introspection into sentiment, sublime! ?
Need I simply forget all that for which I yearn,
Or might I bide yet, in hopes that all I may discern-
Even in the midst of my most lofty aspiration-
What may one day meet a most prohetic realization! ? '
To which He made reply: 'I test thine faith in many ways;
Though thou art without much, lo these many days,
Thou art not alone, nor art others, contrariwise;
This time strengthens thee, in ways thou may ne'er realize-
Much hath been garnered, but that time shalt show-
Though others may not gather same, thou shalt know;
Thine lamentation, though great, readies thee, as it must-
In Mine Own Omniscient Benevolence, thou must emplace all thine trust! '
-Maurice Harris,23 January 2011
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A Promise Kept
All alone in the darkness, all alone in the light,
All alone with anguish of my soul,
Through the long, dark, lonely night!
This is what her deceit gifted and what it stole:
No one here to comfort me, nor to allay my fears,
No one may take away the abject pain,
Nor may anyone wipe away the tears
That fall upon my pillow, again and again!
With a wish in my heavy heart, I pray for relief-
That my Good and Gracious God may quell my grief:
'Send me an Angel', I implore Him, 'make real,
The visage I see in my mind's eye, and in my heart, feel! '
We are almost there Heavenlyy Father, one more step-
All else is in order, I need now only, a promise kept!
-Maurice Harris,11 July 2011
poem by Maurice Harris
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In Times Of Need, I Shall Comfort Thee
In times of need, I shall comfort thee-
Allow me to be your repose, I exhort thee!
To be wanton of such is not to admit you require
As much, yet is allying with your heart's desire!
We are not measured simply by what we may accomplish on our own,
With aid of loved ones, we don't have to face our fears alone!
I am here for you, for these and all other days,
Whilst I may wander, with you is where my heart stays!
I can be your strength, as you are for me,
Together, more fervid than alone we could ever be!
Share with me your fears as well as your dreams and hope-
Alas, our acceptance of the former allows the latter to help us cope!
Whatsoever you may need, I shall endeavor to provide,
For to be with you is the call of my heart- and I shall abide!
Maurice Harris,26 November 2008
poem by Maurice Harris
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