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The beginnings of a deathbed confession

The beginnings of a deathbed confession
~
He sits grey eyed
Tired, worn by years past
Skin like beaten leather
His voice deep, gravel like
Speaks slowly with a purpose
Talking of stories lived
Each pain and every loss
Whatever love conceived
He has known in his life
He has felt and witnessed
Too many regrets to care
Sorrow became a familiar friend
Who he resented
‘I know’ he says often
Talking of my thoughts
As though he were living them
There is nothing new found
There is barely anything at all
The human experience
Will always be a rough ride
His eyes look out blindly
As though calling on the horizon
That they may close
And he may sleep

poem by Matthew Holloway
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Better Sleep.

Suddenly it’s so tired that made me felt asleep.
Laid on deck no feeling slowly slept so deep.
No matter the sounds of how many beeper beeps.
I could not control myself has fallen sleep.

My tired body was unable to sit on my deck.
I pulled it go to my bed really took a sweet sleep
I did not care so many books on the deck junk heap
This is the first experience, I felt better after a little sleep

How wonderful I got back my good spirit.
After this experience I learned afternoon sleep.
In the passed fifty years I have never been so tired.
This might be a signal to train myself get rest.

It is why there in Perking teach children noon sleep.
Yes, sleep can help people get healthier.
Why not go to sleep when you’re tired?
You have better learn the advantageous sleep.

About sleep I remember twenty years ago one day.
My eye balls were uncontrollable automatically leaped
It was my experience during my long way’s drive.
That time I had to park my car aside to get half hour sleep.
I scared to drive any more when I really felt tired.
It is my serious warning to you won’t be risk on this.

poem by Albert Wong
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I shall never trust

"I shall never trust human being in life"
"Look what has he done to me as wife"?
He is your close friend and you always take his side
At least advise and take him to one your side

I just looked at her sullen face
I assumed she was mercilessly beaten and chased
She might have not slept for many nights
What else was there for her to delight?

I could not answer on the spot and begged time
As I needed to go through and ask him sometimes
He was drunkard alright but never abused physically
They were leading life peacefully and merrily

For this I needed no excuse to ask him
As her eyes revealed bad of everything for him
She used to hide many things earlier
She was angry at this time and termed him as liar

I can understand little about human psychology
But not fool enough to ignore the stupidity
He might be friend but needed some baulking
I was soon before him and talking

He listened to me silently
And at the end spoke gently
He was full of grief and lamented
About his behavior and resented

I had deep sense of feeling with satisfaction
At least I had saved them from worst situation
They had patched up and vowed not to repeat
Such was happy end and I took no credit for it

Sometimes we run across rough weather
But must come out of it sooner
It should not be dragged on indefinitely
It shall affect then happy life permanently

poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Her Own Shoes

She spoke in a tongue
left over from yesterday
her memories
slowly fading.

Shouting to be heard
if by chance
someone would hear her.

Her tears
left in silence
by a heart
abandoned by life.

Her shoes
barely covered her feet
so aged a brittle cloth.

She laughed at herself
her mind felt with bareness
fell out into the street
as rain fell against
her pain.

No-one near
to cradle her fears
she spoke to herself.

A bus ride
her excursion
to the world
brought more pain.

So she laughed to herself.

Her mind worn out
just like her shoes
in waiting solemn moments
she still felt human.

But the world
no longer reading
her uniqueness
she found an empty bench

The birds
did not judge
her physical obscenity
they came freely
If only to take bread
from her hand.

Everything was worn
her stained dress
her opened shoes
her need for sanity.

All put together
by a world
who had forgotten
she too was only human.

So she laughed
out loud
to all those
whom she remembered
did once care.

Because she knew
one day
they too
would become
a worn out pair of shoes
craving
to be new.

poem by Jodde Taylor
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So Tired

Scent on a postcard
A memory left behind
Warm hand, cool look but no time...
Winsome lose some
Hung up on old flame
My heart depends on fire
So who am I to make demands on love?
...relax and walk on by
So tired
So tired
Beaten like a drum
So tired
Living life alone
So tired
Beaten like a drum
Kiss the right faces
And tap the party line
Short measure of cheap skate pleasure
Easier said than done
Sip the night water
But not too drunk to say
Well just who am I to ever hope to love you?
Id turn and shy away
So tired
So tired
Beaten like a drum
So tired
Living life alone
So tired
Beaten like a drum
Once upon a bed
You said you loved me
Once upon a bed
Those eyes of blue
Now what am I supposed to do?
So tired -
So tired
Beaten like a drum
So tired
Live my life alone, so alone
Once upon a bed
You said you loved me
Once upon a bed
Those eyes of blue
And what am I to rhyme with you?
Now I lie alone and so defenceless
Dream of love in sunny daze with you
So tired...

song performed by by Haircut 100
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wanting A Friend

I sit here and wonder why
I can't seem to have a friend in this world
Sometimes I think it's because
I'm afraid of being judged

Thoughts run through like
Maybe they will think that
Where I live isn't good enough
Or that I'm not smart enough
And that I'm not
Good enough to be as a friend

I'm alone most of the time
And I find myself
Talking way to much to strangers
But afterwards, I feel so ashamed
For talking way to much to them

I just want someone
To want to talk to me
As much as I want to talk to them
But I'm afraid that no one will want to

Maybe it's safer to be alone because
The idea having to change my ways
is too much for me to handle

Maybe deep down
I feel like I don't
Deserve to have a friend
Sometimes I feel like
I will go to my grave
Without having one close friend
that really does care for me.

poem by Beth Ann
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fundamental Of Liar Chapter CXVIII: I’m Just Talking To Myself

I’m not talking to you
I’m not talking to anyone
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not grumbling
I’m not cursing
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not insane
I’m not in trance
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not mocking
I’m not threatening
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not sharing secret
I’m not hiding something
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not mad
I’m not in rage
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not jealous
I’m not envious
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not afraid
I’m not in pessimism thought
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not whining
I’m not complaining
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not depressed
I’m not in foul mood
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not blaming
I’m not accusing
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not in denial
I’m not in confusion
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not informing
I’m not warning
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not against you
I’m not rebelling
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not help you
I’m not assist you
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not running some plot
I’m not in a mischief plan
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not in great grudge
I’m not in revenge mind
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not suspicious
I’m not curious
I’m just talking to myself

I’m not saying sorry
I’m not saying thank you
I’m just talking to myself

poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Heart and I

I.

ENOUGH ! we're tired, my heart and I.
We sit beside the headstone thus,
And wish that name were carved for us.
The moss reprints more tenderly
The hard types of the mason's knife,
As heaven's sweet life renews earth's life
With which we're tired, my heart and I.

II.
You see we're tired, my heart and I.
We dealt with books, we trusted men,
And in our own blood drenched the pen,
As if such colours could not fly.
We walked too straight for fortune's end,
We loved too true to keep a friend ;
At last we're tired, my heart and I.

III.
How tired we feel, my heart and I !
We seem of no use in the world ;
Our fancies hang grey and uncurled
About men's eyes indifferently ;
Our voice which thrilled you so, will let
You sleep; our tears are only wet :
What do we here, my heart and I ?

IV.
So tired, so tired, my heart and I !
It was not thus in that old time
When Ralph sat with me 'neath the lime
To watch the sunset from the sky.
`Dear love, you're looking tired,' he said;
I, smiling at him, shook my head :
'Tis now we're tired, my heart and I.

V.
So tired, so tired, my heart and I !
Though now none takes me on his arm
To fold me close and kiss me warm
Till each quick breath end in a sigh
Of happy languor. Now, alone,
We lean upon this graveyard stone,
Uncheered, unkissed, my heart and I.

VI.
Tired out we are, my heart and I.
Suppose the world brought diadems
To tempt us, crusted with loose gems
Of powers and pleasures ? Let it try.
We scarcely care to look at even
A pretty child, or God's blue heaven,
We feel so tired, my heart and I.

VII.
Yet who complains ? My heart and I ?
In this abundant earth no doubt
Is little room for things worn out :
Disdain them, break them, throw them by
And if before the days grew rough
We once were loved, used, -- well enough,
I think, we've fared, my heart and I.

poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
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Sorry To A Friend

Sittin on the edge
Looking for songs in a bottle
Talking with strangers who dont know my pain
Blurry eyed and burned out
Choking on more than I can swallow
Crack in a little voice called out my name
She said ~ whatever happened to you,
Its been two years where have you been.
And I guess all my fears were true
The words were all gone the times been too long.
But I deserve to know what happened to my friend
Staring in her face, I see a past that still haunts me
The road where we split up is paved with the things I didnt say
We had wonderful times, but terrible timing
Now just leave her alone, Ill just be in the way
She said whatever happened to you
You took the cowards way out again
And I guess all my fears were true
The words are all gone, the times been too long
But its not too late to say Im sorry to a friend
Im sorry to a friend. sorry to a friend
Like a stone in a stream
Life smoothes all our edges
til we barely make a ripple any more
But those times in my life will live with me forever
But were not the same people that we were before
And Im sorry for the smiles we missed and the times that I blew it
Ive got so much to tell you I dont know where to start
Maybe Ill find a way maybe youll help me do it
cause friends like us should not be apart
And Im sorry to a friend
Well now Im sorry

song performed by by Edwin McCain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Experience Reality Disaster Horrific

experience is lived life real raw felt first hand
community family individually shared endured
wounds physical emotional trauma mourned
disaster horrific impact wounds life seasoned
salt tears shed bitter loss stuns season afflicted

experience witnessed is etched into landscapes
experience witnessed stretches to far horizons
disasters holocaust plague beyond comprehensions
acceptances tolerances tested beyond pain thresholds
normality security shelter food resources possessions

poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Generator

We generate heat
We generate emotion
We generate a feeling
That is better left here
Than a memory on a wall
I'd rather cry than forget you
We generate pain
We generate suspicion
We generate a rumour that's sick
But a rumour that is probably true
I'd rather die than forget you
(i won't let my dreams slip away from me)
I'm talking sex motion
I'm talking 'bout fashion
I'm talking 'bout skin games
I'm talking 'bout secrets
(and i won't let my heart run away with me)
I'm talking temptation
I'm talking 'bout memories
I'm talking 'bout feelings
I'm talking 'bout emotion
We generate lies
We generate pictures
We generate a video film
That i couldn't let my best friend see
I'd rather lose than forgive you
We generate shame
We generate secrets
We generate a reason for living
And we generate a reason for not
I'd rather hurt than forget you
I can't believe that i'm here
I can't believe what i've seen
I can't believe what i'm doing to you

song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Coastal Confessions

Well I'm a tidal pool explorer
From the days of my misspent youth.
I believe that down on the beach
Where the sea gulls preach
Is where the Chinese buried the truth.
So I dig in the sand
with my misguided hands
and if I dig deep enough
Hell I just might dig it up.
Talking about treasure
Talking about pleasure
Talking about love
Now I'm a reader of the night sky
And a singer of inordinate tunes.
That's how I float across time
Living way past my prime
Like a long lost baby's balloon.
So I hang on to the string
Work that whole gravity thing
But when my space ship goes pop
Back to the earth I will drop
Into the sea
Or the limbs of a tree
Or the wings of my love
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Maybe invent me a story or two
I've got coastal confessions to make
How bout you
How bout you
They say that time is like a river
And stories are the key to the past
But now I'm stuck in between
Here at my typing machine
Trying to come up with some words that will last.
It's so easy to see that we live history
And if I just find the beat
I know I land on my feet
I always do
Hadn't got a clue
Does it comes from above.
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Maybe invent me a story or two
I've got coastal confessions to make
How bout you
How bout you
Let's go to church, Sonny...
(Bridge)
So bless me father, yes I have sinned.
Given the chance I'll probably do it again
I don't need absolution
Just a simple solution will do.
So let's talk about the future
Or the consequences of my past
I've got scars, I've got lines
I'm not hard to define
Just an altar boy coverin' his ass.
I know I can't run and hide
But just hang on for the ride
There will be laughter and tears
As we progress through the years
But still it's fun
Hey I'm not done
Gonna dance 'til I fall
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Maybe have me a boat drink or two
It's just the coastal confessions I hear
Tell the truth
Tell the truth
I've got some coastal confessions to make
How 'bout you, how 'bout you, how 'bout you, how 'bout you
And you, and you, and you
42 years since my last confession
Well father, do you have the rest of the week?
Let's get started
I had impure thoughts
I smoked some pot
Stole some peanut butter
Father, wake up.

song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Talking Book

I wish I had a talking book
That told me how to act and look
A talking book that contained keys
To past and present memories
A talking book that said your name
So if you were gone, youd still remain
More than a picture on a shelf
In imagination I could touch
A talking, talking book
I wish I had a talking book
Filled with buttons you could push
Containing looks and sights, your touch
Your feel, your breath, your sounds, your sighs
How much Id bluster to ask it why
One must live and one must die
I wish I had a talking book
By my side so I could look
And touch and feel and dream, a look
Much bigger than a talking book
A taste of loving future and past
Is that so much to really ask
In this one moments time and space
Can our love really be replaced
By a talking book
Can our love really be replaced
By a talking book
Can our love really be replaced
By a talking book
Can our love ever, forever be replaced
Can our love ever be replaced
Can our love ever be replaced
(can our love really be replaced)
By a talking book

song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Down in the dark

Down in the dark, it’s all in my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,

I want it to leave, but it wants to stay,
I try and I try, but he won’t go away,
There by day, there at night,
Saying the things, that fills me with fright,

I’m down in the dark, it fills my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,

He’s always around, lurking inside,
Watching; waiting, my hands are tied,
In my head, always near,
In my thoughts, building the fear,

Down in the dark, filling my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,

The pain; it grows, bursting within,
The dark; he’s back, with his terror filled grin,
“I’ll help”; he says, talking to me,
“I know what to do, just come and see, ”

Down in the dark, it filled my head,
The pain the sorrow, all of the dread,

My thoughts are violent, with sorrow in my chest,
I just close my eyes, and hope for the best,
He tells me good job, I’ll find the light,
But my life is ending, with the chill of the night.,

Dead in the dark, lost in my head,
No more pain or sorrow, not even dread….,

poem by Jacob Hill
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Epitaph

The Earth Speaks:
HUSH! he drowses, drowses deep,
While my quiet arms I keep
Close about him in his sleep.
Once he glanced at me aghast,
Shuddered from my kiss, and passed—
But I hold him here at last.
He had frenzied thoughts of fame,
Piteous strivings for a name—
But I called him, and he came.
Called him with the mother-call
That shall on the weary fall,
Whispering “Home” to all, to all.
Fair white skin he looked upon;
Eyes in his with passion shone;
But my patient love has won.
There was one he deemed to wed;
But he faltered, came instead
To my narrow bridal bed.
Vehement his veins and wild—
Now a dreaming, glad-eyed child
To my kisses reconciled.
Tender heart and turbulent,
I and he together pent
In an æon of content!

Heaven holds for him no prize:
Stirless, nested here he lies
In his narrow Paradise.
When his trump God's Angel blows,
When he shudders, wakens, knows,
I shall hold him close, so close!
He will feel life's aching pain,
Turn his lips to me, and then
Sink to dreamless sleep again.
So for aye my love I keep
Here upon my breast asleep—
Hush!…he drowses…drowses…deep.

poem by Arthur Henry Adams
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I Hear

(diana ross/stan scates)
What is this i hear
Falling softly in my ears
Quietly telling me to wipe away my tears
Yesterdays are gone
And love has cleared the way
No matter who you are
You can touch the stars
Life's interactions can make you smile
Just listen to the voice in your heart
The voice is near you, it's never too far
The voice is with you, where ever you are
It's closer than close, calling to your heart
I hear the voice of love
I hear the voice of love
The voice will never leave you
It lives deep down inside
It's calling you, asking you
To open up your heart
All things are achievable
Nothing is impossible
You can reach your highest high
You can make it if you try
Life's interactions can make you smile
Just listen to the voice in your heart
The voice is near you, it's never too far
The voice is with you, where ever you are
It's closer than close, calling to your heart
I hear the voice of love
I hear the voice of love
Follow where it leads you in the dark
The voice will guide your heart
The voice is always near
I hear the voice, i found the voice
From the mountains to the sea
The voice of love is calling me
Where ever you are, the voice is near you
It's never too far, the voice is with you
I hear the voice of love
I hear the voice of love
I hear the voice of love

song performed by by Diana Ross
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Talkin Talkin

Talking, talking
It doesnt really matter
If you know my name
It doesnt really matter
If you see things the same
As I do
It doesnt even matter
If Im tied and tense
It doesnt even matter
If Im still making sense
Over you
Im just talking, talking
Talkin, talking
Cos Im only talking, talking
Talking, talking
It doesnt matter
What the people
All around you say
Be careful how
You listen
They dont know you
The way that I do
And if you wanna
Talk about it baby
Thats alright
Its better if I say it
Than to sit down
And write it to you
Im just talking, talking
Talkin, talking
Cos Im only talking, talking
It can be that
Youre here with me
When Im standing out
On my own
The words of love
That you gage
When we were alone
It doesnt matter
If you want to
Rock and roll all night
I know youre gonna
Be there when the
Feeling is right
The feeling is right
The feeling is right
Im just talking, talking
Talkin, talking
Im just talking, talking
Talkin, talking
You know Im just
Talking, talking, talking, talking

song performed by by Moody Blues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My World, My Love, My Life

(words & music: per gessle)
Published by hiphappy
Some days are covered in rain
While other days are made for glory
And you are the summer sun
The only one who knows the story
Do you want to talk about it? - I dont know
Do you want to say some words? - oh, I cant let go
Im talking about my world, my love, my life
Everytime I try to close my eyes
You just enter my mind
And you lay yourself down beside me... oh why?
Some streets are covered with sweat
There are no regrets just new connections... oh why?
You are the summer son and Im the one who wants affection
Do you want to talk about it? - I dont know
Do you want to speak some words? - oh, I cant let go
Im talking about my world, my love, my life
Everytime I try to close my eyes
You just run through my head
And you lay yourself down, beside me... oh why?
My world, my life...
Im talking about my world, my love, my life
Everytime... I try to close my eyes
You just enter my mind
And you lay yourself down, beside me... oh why...
You just run through my head
And you lay yourself down, beside me... oh why...
(repeats until fade)
My world, my life...

song performed by by Roxette
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Remember who I lost

Like sad days I couldn’t stand,
or past loss I felt so sorrow,
I remember who I lost.

They were everything in my day, always in my heart.
I loved them and they loved me, but some where in time,
things happened.

I got caught up in confusion through my inner unconsciousness,
they were lost in the winds of circumstance.
Alone and betrayed came the ocean of tears and mark of mindlessness, all was a complete loss.

Ripped into deep things of paradox,
drifted once again past the safety line.
Even these words cry, as I set them in type,
knowing that it was everyone’s lack that brought about this smack,
that punished us all.

Again and again I loose them over and over as each light of day becomes light. When I see my eye’s in mirror I see them as living specters of love, that fade after the days concerns grip onto me.

At days end I take the steps slowly to another night that they will visit me in dreams almost like visions, crying at their presence, once again to know they are not here… with me.

I can’t find the right words to say the loss,
gravity of these heavy thought,
as I remember who I loss.

poem by Bullion Grey
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I can’t sleep!

My body’s tired, my minds’ racing

My eyes hurt, my hearts’ pacing

I can’t sleep

When I close my eyes, I see us talking

And reach out, to feel … the tangible warmth

Of an embrace, and grasp blindly, cold air

I can’t sleep

Wandering around in a wakeful slumber

Unfamiliar milestones, wordless conversations

In a language I don’t know, but seem to understand

I can’t sleep

Entered a new forest that I didn’t know existed

Perched atop a mountain

It’s a steep climb, but a joyful ascent

I can’t sleep

I cry no more, my soul weeps

I laugh aloud at my agony

The irony doesn’t escape me

My soul’s awake, and I can’t sleep!

poem by Anita Atina
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Talking 'Bout Yo Momma

1, 2, 3, 4. talking 'bout your mom... talking 'bout your mom... talking 'bout your mom... talking 'bout your mom... she's a whore bitch, gutter slut. likes to shove me up her butt. drives a pickle, wearing combat boots. while farting, she'll pick me up and give me a ride and drop me in front of the show. oh no, talking 'bout your mom... talking 'bout your mom... talking 'bout your mom... talking 'bout your mom...

song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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