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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XXXV: Rules

rule number one
rules always right
rule number two
if rules wrong, see rule number one

poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Eleven rules of football

I took my little boy
to a nearby football pitch
He said he was tired
of playing hide and seek
He now wanted a football
to play around and kick

As he clutched my hand
I spoke to him
and tried to make him understand
the eleven rules of football
taking into consideration
that he was quite small

Now rule number one
Football is made of eleven strong men
When one or two are naughty
you may still get away
with playing nine or ten

Rule number two
When a member of your crew
hits the ball into the net
A goal is scored
that I can place a bet
For I am very sure

Rule number three
The maximum number of players
you can substitute is three
It does not cost a dime
It is totally free

Rule number four
There are rules you must comply with
When a team commits an offense
named a foul
before the game can commence
A small advantage has to be given
to the otherside

Rule number five
A freekick
is given after a foul
Sometimes awarded after
unnecessary dives

Rule number six
When you are shown a card that is yellow
Its time for your temper to mellow
or you will get the referee quite mad
and he will dismiss you with a red card

Rule number seven
A penality is like heaven
It is awarded
when a player breaks the rule
maybe by using his hand as a tool
to play the ball inside the penalty box
its time for him to go back to school

Rule number eight
A thrownin
Is when the ball is kicked out of the field
It's one of footballs favorite sins

Rule number nine
Offside is
When you are the only one running
alone to score a winning goal
you must hesitate
till you see a single soul

Rule number ten
A game lasts
for ninety minutes
You are beat
When your team has less goals than the other
That is when you must admit defeat

Rule number eleven
when your team is losing
you have to sing something amusing
saying
All we want is a goal
While we are dressed in coloured charcoal

Now my little boy
I said
These are the eleven rules of football
lets go and practise inside the sports hall

Copyright 2005 - Sylvia Chidi

poem by Sylvia Chidi
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XXXV: Rules part 2

What’s the rule, when money could buy
What’s the rule, when power is absolute
What’s the rule, when feeling involved
What’s the rule, when pride is important
What’s the rule, when look affects
What’s the rule, when victory is a must
What’s the rule, when worlds are vain
What’s the rule, people don’t change
What’s the rule, when good is not always right
What’s the rule, freedom is misunderstood
What’s the rule, anger conquers
What’s the rule, past neglected
What’s the rule, crime that committed

poem by Maria Sudibyo
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A Rule Of The A.J.C.

Come all ye bold trainers attend to my song,
It's a rule of the A.J.C.
You mustn't train ponies, for that's very wrong
By the rules of the A.J.C.
You have to wear winkers when crossing the street,
For fear that a pony you'd happen to meet
If you hear one about, you must beat a retreat,
That's a rule of the A.J.C.

And all ye bold owners will find without fail
By the rules of the A.J.C.
The jockey boys' fees you must pay at the scale,
It's a rule of the A.J.C.
When your horse wins a fiver, you'll laugh, I'll be bound,
But you won't laugh so much by the time that you've found
That the fee to the boy is exactly ten pound!
That's a rule of the A.J.C.

And all ye bold 'Books' who are keeping a shop,
In the rules of the A.J.C.,
There's a new regulation that says you must stop!
That's a rule of the A.J.C.
You must give up your shop with its pipes and cigars
To an unlicensed man who is thanking his stars,
While you go and bet in the threepenny bars,
That's a rule of the A.J.C.

And all ye small jockeys who ride in a race,
In the rules of the A.J.C.
If owners' instructions are 'Don't get a place',
By the rules of the A.J.C.,
You must ride the horse out, though, of course, if you do
You will get no more mounts, it's starvation to you.
But, bless you, you'll always find plenty to chew
In the rules of the A.J.C.

poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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The Rule of the A.J.C.

Come all ye bold trainers attend to my song,
It's a rule of the A.J.C.
You mustn't train ponies, for that's very wrong
By the rules of the A.J.C.
You have to wear winkers when crossing the street,
For fear that a pony you'd happen to meet
If you hear one about, you must beat a retreat --
That's a rule of the A.J.C.
And all ye bold owners will find without fail
By the rules of the A.J.C.
The jockey boys' fees you must pay at the scale --
It's a rule of the A.J.C.
When your horse wins a fiver, you'll laugh, I'll be bound,
But you won't laugh so much by the time that you've found
That the fee to the boy is exactly ten pound!
That's a rule of the A.J.C.

And all ye bold "Books" who are keeping a shop,
In the rules of the A.J.C.,
There's a new regulation that says you must stop!
That's a rule of the A.J.C.
You must give up your shop with its pipes and cigars
To an unlicensed man who is thanking his stars,
While you go and bet in the threepenny bars --
That's a rule of the A.J.C.

And all ye small jockeys who ride in a race,
In the rules of the A.J.C.
If owners' instructions are "Don't get a place",
By the rules of the A.J.C.,
You must ride the horse out -- though, of course, if you do
You will get no more mounts, it's starvation to you.
But, bless you, you'll always find plenty to chew
In the rules of the A.J.C.

poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Born To Rule

Lay down your arms this night
Surrender to the power
Embracing your metal heart
On your final walk through the snow
A hammer made of steel
From the river of blood
With magic, forged in flames
Delusions, a curse of the damned
What do you see?
Imaginary visions or reality
When you're free
Then you'll see that you are bound to rule
Rule - Born - Rule
We were Born to Rule
Rule - Born - Rule
We were Born to Rule
Born to Rule - Born to Rule
We're Born to Rule forever more
Born to Rule - Born to Rule
We're Born to Rule forever
The revolution forced us all to heed the final call
And if tomorrow never comes
Then we will strike the hammer down
Rule - Born - Rule
We were Born to Rule
Rule - Born - Rule
We were Born to Rule
Born to Rule - Born to Rule
We're Born to Rule forever more
Born to Rule - Born to Rule
We're Born to Rule forever
Forever, forever Rule!

song performed by by Hammerfall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Surfers Rule

Its a genuine fact that the surfers rule
Its plastered on the walls all around the school now
(surfers rule, surfers rule)
Becoming just as common as a golden rule now
(surfers rule, surfers rule)
Take it or leave it but you better believe it
Surfers rule
They burnt it in the grass on the football field now
(surfers rule, surfers rule)
Just try to make them cool it and theyll never yield now
(surfers rule, surfers rule)
Take what youve heard now and go pass the word now
Surfers rule
Its a genuine fact that the surfers rule
A woody full of surfers pullin long side a wagon
(surfers rule, surfers rule)
The hodaddies sittin while the surfers are draggin
The surfers are winnin and they say as theyre grinnin
Surfers rule
Surfers rule
(four seasons you better believe it)
Surfers rule
(four seasons you better believe it)
Surfers rule
(four seasons you better believe it)
Surfers rule
(four seasons you better believe it)
Surfers rule
(four seasons you better believe it)
Surfers rule
(four seasons you better believe it)

song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rules, regulations, And Foreign Policies

First rule is:

''To respect the rules.

If everyone

Respect the rules,

Then a regulation
Is

Born.

The regulation of simple
Rule,

Is to make it

A life time
Policies

And that!
is
Only
What makes
rules create
a general
five stars policy…

imagine
now

how many generals

we create
by respecting one rule
and then facing

a monster
policy.

poem by Atef Ayadi
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Let Love Rule

Love is gentle as a rose
And love can conquer any war
It's time to take a stand
Brothers and sisters join hands

We got to let love rule
Let love rule
We got to let love rule
Let love rule

Love transcends all space and time
And love can make a little child smile
Oh can't you see
This won't go wrong
But we got to be strong
We can't do it alone

We got to let love rule
Let love rule
We got to let love rule
Let love rule

Let love rule
You got to got to got to
Let love rule

You got to got to got to

song performed by by Lenny Kravitz from Let Love Rule
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Haiku Rule is No Rule

all the haiku rules
are no rule except
the three liner
i would concur

besides that
you can turn things
upside down
create another realm
with your words
so long as they jolt
the heart to things as banal
as a frog jumping
into an old pond
strike the mind
to give it another
good reason
for its existence

how could there be rules
when the world paints itself
in a thousand languages
throws as many idiosyncracies
as would civilisations draw up rules
for each of its endeavours

remember picasso, van gogh,
how they rule the canvas
and our 'rule abiding' selves
with their no-rule colours and strokes

how could there be a rule
when water like my core
could run in all directions

when this mind could jump
from moon to sun
and a far flung planet
in one second

when these eyes ould
see stars, planets, and suns
in this physique alone:

sun, planets, stars
these moles
all over my body

poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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Rules of Splitting!

Listen now; there are rules to walking with me.
No, I am not about to write some silly simile.
This is the hard solid truth,
Break the rules there is no ruth.

Rule one: something on the ground
That cannot be unbound,
Walk on the same side,
DO NOT DIVIDE!

Rule two: you are allowed ONLY
When the doors are pushed openly
But not when the doors are pulled open.
You should be taking notes go get a pen.

Rule three: when in a group I can maybe
Handle a split, but only if it is even baby!
So when walking do best to be sure of it,
Because there is no reason for you to split!

Well, those are the rules,
Live by them silly fools!
They are just what I need,
So maybe it is I that should lead! !

poem by Amanda May Moore
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Rule A: Don't. Rule A1: Rule A doesn't exist. Rule A2: Do not discuss the existence or non-existence of Rules A, A1 or A2.

quote by R.D. Laing
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Superstar

Superstar (Interlude)"
This goes out to you, you, my number one (number one, number one)
I won't stop until I see you, suga
You know who you are
This is for my number one, number one (I see you)
So many shows, swear wherever I go I'm gonna keep on lookin'
Lookin' for my number one, number one (Oh)
This goes out to you baby
Wherever you are (my only one)
Just know that you're mine (number one, number one)
Are you there?
I can't hear you
On the road doin' shows
Girl I can't get you off my mind
All around the world
So many faces
All these places
Girl I just need one
My number one
This is for you, you, my number one
[Crowd chanting]
Usher! Usher! Usher!

song performed by by Usher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Divorced from Dumb Reality - Number Lesson on Numb Pointless Love

DIVORCED FROM DUMB REALITY
My fun begun with number one,
swore to be true to number two,
happy to be with number three,
then to adore fair number four.
No more alive is number five,
mix stones and sticks Styx number six,
who’s in heaven, number seven?
its now too late for number eight.
Another line for number nine,
begin again with number ten.

13 May 1982 revised 20 January 2009

robi03_0199_robi03_0000 WXX_LXX

for previous version entitled Numbers see below

Numbers

My fun begun with number one,
swore to be true to number two,
happy to be with number three,
then to adore sweet number four.
No more alive is number five,
beset by tics was number six,
she’s in heaven, number seven,
its now too late for number eight.
Another line for number nine,
begin again for number ten.

13 May 1982

poem by Jonathan Robin
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An Earnest Prayer to God

God, rule my tongue, my works, my thought;
God, rule my mind, body, and heart;
God, rule all gifts from You I got;
God, rule my will, forget-me-not.

God, rule all things, my every part;
God, rule my actions from the start;
God, rule my soul, guide it with art;
God, rule my life till I depart!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 11-15-2006

poem by John Celes
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You Know My Name

You know my name
Look up the number
You know my name
Look up the number
You you know you know my name
You you know you know my name
Good evening and welcome to slaggers
Featuring denis o'bell
Come on ringo, let's hear it for denis
Good evening
You know my name
Better look up the number
You know my name
(that's right) look up the number
You you know you know my name
You you know you know my name
You know my name
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Look up my number
You know my name
That's right look up the number
Oh you know you know
You know my name you know you know you know my name.
Huh huh huh huh
You know my name
Ba ba ba pum
Look up the number
You know my name
Look up the number
You-a you know you know my name
Baby you-a you know you know my name
You know my name you know you know you know my name
Go on denis, let's hear it for denis o'bell
You know my name you know you know you know you know you know my name
Prrr you know my name and the number
You know my name and the number you know you know my name
Look up me number
You know my number three you know my number two
You know my number three you know my number four
You know my name you know number too
You know my name you know my number
What's up with you?
You know my name
That's right
Yeah.

song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Number

I have no number
No number is related to me
Do not show me number
I have not missed any
There is no magic square
To fill the number
There is no number
I have also not trumpet
For number.

poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Knowing you might some day come

Knowing you might some day come
and how unprepared I’ve always
been
like Mr. Sloppy
in Charles Dickens’
our Mutual Friend
I made a list:
not meat, vegetables, beer and pudding
but number l, warmth.
number 2, warmth.
number 3, warmth.
number 4, a good snuggler.
number 5, someone who sings
while he/she works.
number 6, a dancer.
number 7, someone who grows & is
intrigued by
the mind. And
by the spirit too.
Number 7, someone who is loved
by animals; and loves
them back without
a thought.
number 8, someone who smells
delicious.
number 9, someone whose anger
lasts no longer than mine.
number 10, someone who
stands beside me. behind me. If necessary
in front of me.
number 11, someone who
is a passable cook.
number 12, Someone who laughs
a lot, thinks I have a fine
sense
of humor
& has friends.
number 13, someone who can be
original in dress:
stylish
warlock –In silver, lapis
& black – to my witch.

poem by Alice Walker
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I Work To No Rule

I work on no rule
just my quality control
I follow beat my soul

any rule I follow
any rule I choose
any rule I create

even an age dusty old rule
to prove I can conform write
if I want to recognize a rule

poem by Terence George Craddock
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There are two great rules in life, the one general and the other particular. The first is that every one can in the end get what he wants if he only tries. This is the general rule. The particular rule is that every individual is more or less of an exception to the general rule.

quote by Samuel Butler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Think of a number

Think of a number, from 1 to 10
(Haven't played this since you know when)
Double it, add..? No, start again.

Think of another, from 2 to 9
(Were these the numbers we'd combine?)
No, that's not right - wrong line!

Think of a number, from 3 to 8
(Was what I heard from my schoolmate?)
No, come on John now, concentrate.

Think of another, from 4 to 7
(I know, if added, it's 11
And - 'all good children go to heaven')

Think of a number, from 5 to 6
(And here I'm getting in a fix)
I'm bad at these arithmetics.

Let's try again, from 6 to 5
(For this I bet we had to strive)
It's like the last - let's not revive.

Think of a number, from 7 to 4
(This game could run forevermore)
I'm lost, I've now forgot the score.

Think of another, from 8 to 3
No matter what the answer be
I'm sure it's baffling you and me.

Think of a number, from 9 to 2
Have you really any clue
What this riddle's meant to do?

Think of a number, from 1 to 10
No! ...
I can't go through all that again!

(Written Oct 2012)

poem by John Carter Brown
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