Fundamental of Liar Chapter LXXIX: Maintenance
we don't maintenance it because:
we don't use it
we don't need it
we think nothing will change
we think it always be there
we don't care
we don't see the benefit of it
we pretend not to see it
we think it's other's responsibility
we don't know how to handle it
we want to let it gone
we disturb by it
we don't want to be disturbed by it
we feel scared
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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It Is Just A Poem
what i write is just a poem
do not let it disturb you, they are just letters forming words
words forming a phrase
forming an idea to your mind as you read them
it is just a poem, it is just like a movie
let it not disturb you then, sleep and dream
but somehow if it has disturbed you, and you cannot stop it from
disturding you, then let yourself be disturbed and let yourself think
about it:
why are you disturbed?
now, it is not just a poem
it is me.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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In my thoguhts i am alone
In my thoughts i am alone
where i fear no one understands
the pain the illness the sadness
the nightly terrors i handle alone
this experience i cant handle of this illness
they call bipolar the way im defined or labled that
one can not see past to see who i am beyond the illness
who is scared of herself who is caring for others more than herself
who will do anything to make another happy
but for one to meet someone who is 'bipolar' thats what they see
unstable depressed manic angry mood swing mess
but what they dont understand is how stable is not in our world
and it doesnt define us it makes us who we are
this illness we battle alone cause unless you have it
you can never fully understand and even if you do i dont think
we can fully understand it...
alone in this illness
alone in these thoughts
alone is how i feel
i cry alone when i feel alone
i sleep to be alone to feel nothing
to feel nothing or empty is what i need
it would be better than the saddness and hurt and
the feeling of alone
my tears fall alone
i enjoy being alone but the feeling of alone is
something i can not handle
to feel like there is no one
to feel like no one can truely understand or care
i only ache with this fear
i try to cry and scream for help but no one seems to hear
so lost in this illness and how to not feel alone
poem by Juliana Willsey
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You Make Me Feel Safe
i know to you,
you probably think i can't control myself,
when it come to where my mind goes,
when we talk,
but to be trapped for so many years,
always feeling like i knew more about sex,
than the ppl around me,
i felt like an outsider,
so i learn to hide it,
growing up,
i just never felt safe to express myself sexually,
when it was accepted,
nobody treated it with care,
i never felt safe to open up,
the way i feel with you,
you make me feel safe,
because you said you won't use me for that,
i belive you and hope you true to your word,
you haven't made me doubt you yet,
and in a way,
i don't want to doubt you,
you seem like a nice guy,
somebody who honested,
that what i like about you,
you say you are just yourself,
you are a person,
that seem like a person worth getting to know,
we just have to remember to take it slow,
if this is truely what both of us want,
its what i want,
but i'm scared that this will be just a dream,
i don't think i can handle that,
my dream guy to be,
just a dream,
my heart can't handle that,
i feel like i'm in too deep,
and really we just getting to know each other.
poem by Mona Martinez
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The Honest Truth
the truth is i love you
the truth is i always dream of you at night
the truth is i do my best to hide it from you
the truth is the future is blank without you
the truth is i am hurting
the truth is i am scared
i am scared how i pretend in front of everyone
the truth is a cannot tell anyone of this
the truth is i cannot even tell you
then it starts to hurt even more
the truth is i'm scared to tell you
the truth is you might be scared to break her heart
the truth is i'm scared you might love me too
the truth is i am not happy
the truth is i don't feel the love i want
the truth is i want to be loved by you only
the truth is you're too blind to see
the truth is you might not believe me if i told you
the truth is you might be scared of it
the truth is the emotional distance kills me
the truth is being close to you makes it worse
should i tell you this truth?
would you believe this truth?
the truth....the truth....the truth...
i'm the only one who knows the
and this truth hurts
because the truth is i love you
the truth is i love you
the truth is i still love you....
03 August 2010
poem by Neo Patricia Monamodi
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Wanting Change
I feel sorry for myself
For I will grow old with wealth
For my heart is cold like ice
Never learned love so I pretend to be nice
Though I want to change, I do not know How
And for that problem defeat I bow
But I am what I am
The storm before the calm
The pain before joy
I don’t want to break hearts like a kid breaking their toy
I see destruction in my future
Doe it may change as I mature
But that change I do not see
Like a lost sailor looking for land at sea
Until then I will continue to pretend some more
Inside me a battle or maybe a war
poem by Reginald Francois
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Handle With Care (Extended Version) Traveling Wilburys
Been beat up and battered 'round
Been sent up, and I've been shot down
You're the best thing that I've ever found
Handle me with care
Reputations changeable
Situations tolerable
Baby, you're adorable
Handle me with care
I'm so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Won't you show me that you really care
Everybody's got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on
I've been fobbed off, and I've been fooled
I've been robbed and ridiculed
In day care centers and night schools
Handle me with care
Been stuck in airports, terrorized
Sent to meetings, hypnotized
Overexposed, commercialized
Hand me with care
I'm so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Won't you show me that you really care
Everybody's got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on
I've been uptight and made a mess
But I'll clean it up myself, I guess
Oh, the sweet smell of success
Handle me with care
song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No benefit
No benefit
No benefit.
You are cooking
You are eating
You are sitting
You are meeting.
No benefit
No benefit.
No body is there
To share
You have not
Shared anybody.
No benefit
No benefit.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Are You There?
When I feel too far away
From where I want to be
Theres nothing left for me, yeah
When I feel too close to breathe
Like a baby cutting teeth
In you I find relief
cause when its more than I can take
I pushed and pulled to break
A sucker for a saint in your eyes
Criticism comes in waves
Numbering our days
But only you can save me
Is anybody even there
Who doesnt just pretend to care
This time I need to know - are you there?
Does anybody think they can
Begin to even understand
This time I need to know - are you there?
Hang on, hang on
I know, I know
Its the lie that we believe
A truth that we conceive
That lies inside of me
When I leave it all behind
Something hypnotized
The moment that its mine
Is anybody even there
Who doesnt just pretend to care
This time I need to know - are you there?
Does anybody think they can
Begin to even understand
This time I need to know - are you there?
Is anybody even there?
Who doesnt just pretend to care
This time I need to know - are you there?
Does anybody think they can
Begin to even understand
This time I need to know - are you there?
song performed by by Oleander
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Scared and Couragous
I am scared and couragous
I wonder when my mom's going to die of cancer
I hear gossip everyday
I see them staring as I pass through the glum halls
I want my moms cancer cured
I am scared and couragous
I pretend I'm a bird so I could fly away
I feel happy yet sad
I touch my face to wipe my tears away
I worry about my mom all the time
I cry myself to sleep every night
I am scared and couragous
I understand my mom can't be cured
I say I'm happy when I'm not
I dream of a world without cancer
I try to make the best of everything
I hope my mom doesn't die too soon
I am scared and couragous
poem by Desiree Brown
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Handle With Care
Been beat up and battered round
Been sent up, and Ive been shot down
Youre the best thing that Ive ever found
Handle me with care
Reputations changeable
Situations tolerable
Baby, youre adorable
Handle me with care
Im so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Wont you show me that you really care
Everybodys got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on
Ive been fobbed off, and Ive been fooled
Ive been robbed and ridiculed
In day care centers and night schools
Handle me with care
Been stuck in airports, terrorized
Sent to meetings, hypnotized
Overexposed, commercialized
Hand me with care
Im so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Wont you show me that you really care
Everybodys got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on
Ive been uptight and made a mess
But Ill clean it up myself, I guess
Oh, the sweet smell of success
Handle me with care
song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Could Change Your Mind
(lead vocal - lesley duncan)
I prefer to spend my time in solitary ways
Keeping myself to myself
Cant pretend that its been easy since you went away
Living with somebody else
If you should change your mind
If you should turn around and look behind
If you could see me the way I used to be
At the risk of bringing back the sorrow and despair
I would do it all again
Holding on to memories and pretending not to care
Knowing that the show was soon to end
If only I could change your mind
If only you would change
If I had the chance Id do it all again
I would do it all again
I remember windy shores on menancholy days
Drifting along with the tide
And the joy of simple things and ordinary ways
Taking it all in my stride
If you should change your mind
If I could let you see what lies behind
If you could see need me the way it used to be
Even for the moment of the happy times we shared
Living in my dreams since then
At the risk of losing only castles in the air
Come with me and we can try again
Oh, if I could change your mind
Cant pretend its been lonely since you went away
Oh, if I could change your mind
song performed by by Alan Parsons Project
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Poor Little Heart, It Is Time You Too Spoke
Oh, my poor little heart
You started beating
From the twenty second day
Of my conception
And since then you keep beating
Ensuring uninterrupted, uniform
Supply of nutrients, oxygen, medicines, and what not
To the entire range of cells
I have no clue as to how
You managed this wonder task
Without any complaint
You never rested
I do not know whether you know
That you only keep my alive
By this great marvel of yours
I care about my looks
I care about my people around
I care about my occupation
I care about my bank balance
I care about my holdings
I care about happenings around
I still do not know
As to what I have done
To take care of you
I often disturb you
With emotion-driven hormones
That make you pump blood
At different rates than usual
There are occasions
When some of my unacceptable intakes
Trouble you with additional tasks
Some of my food habits too
Act against your well being
My addiction to taste
Make me go far heart-unfriendly items
Which over a period time
Lands you in irrepairable damage
We nurse a faith
That you feel for us
You tell us what to do and what not do
It will be nice for you
And benefit both of us
So that we together remain healthy
Till the time you beat your last
If, instead of murmuring,
Speak aloud and
Prevent us from
Doing things that will harm you
Oh, sweet little heart
It is time
You too spoke
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
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Maybe Someday
No i won't do it again, i don't want to pretend
If it can't be like before i've got to let it end
I don't want what i was, i had a change of head
But maybe someday...
Yeah maybe someday
I've got to let it go and leave it gone
Just walk away, stop it going on
Get too scared to jump if i wait too long
But maybe someday...
I'll see you smile as you call my name
Start to feel, and it feels the same
And i know that maybe someday's come
Maybe someday's come...
Again!
So tell me someday's come tell me some days come again...
No i won't do it some more, doesn't take any sense
If it can't be like it was, i've got to let it rest
I don't want what i did, i had a change of tense
But maybe someday...
I'll see you smile as you call my name
Start to feel, and it feels the same
And i know that maybe someday's come
Maybe someday's come...
If i could do it again maybe just once more
Think i could make it work like i did it before
If i could try it out
If i could just be sure
That maybe someday is the last time
Yeah maybe someday is the end
Oh maybe someday is when it all stops
Or maybe someday always comes again...
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Im Not Scared
(tennant/lowe)
-----------------
Your lifes a mystery, mine is an open book
If I could read your mind, I think Id take a look
I dont care
Baby, Im not scared
What have you got to fight? what do you need to prove?
Youre always telling lies, and thats the only truth
I dont care
Baby, Im not scared
Tonight the streets are full of actors
I dont know why
Oh, take these dogs away from me
Before they, they bite
What have you got to say of shadows in your past?
I thought that, if you paid, youd keep them off our backs
But I dont care
Baby, Im not scared
What have you got to hide? who will it compromise?
Where do we have to be, so I can laugh and youll be free?
Id go anywhere
Baby, I dont care
Im not scared
I dont care
Baby, Im not scared
Tonight the streets are full of actors
I dont know why
Oh, take these dogs away from me
Before they, they bite
Tonight I fought and made my mind up
I know its right
I know these dogs still snap around us
But I can, I can fight
If I was you, if I was you
I wouldnt treat me the way you do
If I was you, if I was you
I wouldnt treat me the way you do - you
If I was you, if I was you
I wouldnt treat me the way you do
If I was you, if I was you
I wouldnt treat me the way you do - you
Im not scared
Baby, I dont care
Id go anywhere
Baby, Im not scared
Im not scared
No, Im not scared
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stop Crying Your Heart Out
Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.
Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone
song performed by by Oasis from Heathen Chemistry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Angel On My Bike
She knows just what I like
The angel on my bike
She found me down on a two ton anchor
Tangled up in wire
She always gets it right
The angel on my bike
I could be killed if the train goes faster
Well angel watch my life
I cant handle a care
I want, but I cant be there
While angels a prayer
Its 45 miles on that highway
Angel double prayer
I have to sleep with my eyes on the white lines
Elvis need of repair? ? ? help
I only wanted to believe
That angel its me that you need
And theres only, only one heart on that highway
Angel double prayer
I cant handle a care
I want, but I cant be there
While angels a prayer
I cant handle a care
I want, but I cant be there
While angels a prayer
Now its hard time on these wheels
These fairy tales
Turn to rusted steel and its
Gettin hard now to believe
Shes seein me
Angel, please, tell me
Cant you see
Angel its only me
Angel its only me
Well I cant take a care
Man, I want, but I cant be there
While angels a prayer
I cant handle a care
Well, I want, but I cant be there
While angels a prayer
song performed by by Wallflowers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Know For Me There's No Benefit
Why did you abandon my love,
And then announce it missing?
Then you called all your friends to tell them,
Not even a glance from me you are getting.
Why do you pretend and lie to your friends.
Why don't you tell them you're the reason we ended.
I know deep inside you have a love for me.
And I know you wish to control what can't be.
You wish to have it your way and that's it.
And I will not take anybody's,
'S' with an 'H' and a 'T'...not me!
Nor to moods or attitudes,
From another will I commit.
Not if I know there's no benefit.
I know deep inside you feel something there,
For me...
To be revealed,
For YOU to see.
Why did you abandon my love,
And then announce it missing?
You wish to have it your way and that's it.
And I will not take anybody's,
'S' with an 'H' and a 'T'...not me!
I'm not into that kind of play.
Not if I know there's no benefit.
Or a connection to my feelings meant.
Why should I bother,
When there is no love in it for me meant.
Why should I bother?
Why should I bother,
And I know for me there's no benefit.
Why should I bother?
Why should I bother,
When there is no love in it for me meant.
Why should I bother?
Why should I bother,
And I know for me there's no benefit.
Why should I bother?
Why should I bother,
When there is no love in it for me meant.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Scared
I'm scared of life and what i'll become
I'm scared of not being able to go on
I'm scared of what will happen
I'm scared of your reaction
I'm scared of letting go
I'm scared of what i don't know
I'm scared of losing you
I'm scared of being used
I'm scared of being hurt beyond repair
I'm scared of whats out there
I'm scared and so alone
I'm scared and searching for a place to call home
Will you hold me and fight away my fears
Will you tell me it's gonna be okay and wipe away my tears
Will you hold my hand as i walk through the dark
Will you stay and not leave or break my heart
Will you be there to pick me up when i fall down
Because i really need someone right now
poem by Jean Pullman
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Do You Want To Be Disturbed?
Do you want to be disturbed?
By your family
By your friend
By your relation
By unknown people
Do you want to be disturbed?
With their problem
With their need
With their worry
With their temptation
Do you want to be disturbed?
In inconvenient place
In unexpected moment
In weary condition
In mixed emotion
Do you want to be disturbed?
And will you be glad
And will you grumble
And will you ignore
And will you be generous
Do you want to be disturbed?
And still give your ears
And still give your hands
And still give your smile
And still give your hour
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Scared and lonely
'I am'
I am scared and lonely
I wonder what really happens behind my back
I hear the faded, scratchy, voice of my dead grandfather telling me to go on with my life
I see my heart being put back together
I want to be loved
I am scared and lonely
I pretend to be happy even though I’m not
I feel the pain of another tragic loss
I touch the bloody scars upon my leg
I worry that I will always be lost in life
I cry at the thought of an important person taken out of my life
I am scared and lonely
I under stand love hurts
I say live short, love long
I dream of the day I will be in his arms
I try not to mess up my life too bad
I hope I will touch the lives of others
I am scared and lonely
poem by Lovemo Queen
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