Fundamental of Liar Chapter CXXVIII: Half Heart

I know but I don't understand
I see but I can't connect with it
I think but I don't process it
I feel but I don't deepen it
I follow but I don't believe it
I say but I don't mean it
I experience but I don't contemplate it
I do but I don't have the reason
I choose but there is no freedom
I want but I don't really desire
I hear but it goes like the wind
I eat but I don't taste it
I play but I don't enjoy it
I laugh but it doesn't come from my heart
I seek but I fear about what I found
I promise but it only lies inside

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Hunger For More

How can anyone wish to go back inside?
After a discovery begins to connect,
Thoughts they could not get to think...
From an outside source,
Found that links...
Ideas,
Appearing that appeals.

And this process starts...
To clear with comprehension.
How can anyone wish,
To undo something like this?

How can anyone wish to return a gift?
One that begins to reveal an unveiling,
Of a thought that had not existed?
Or seek to reopen a door that has been closed?
To choose to refuse what has been exposed?
Knowing what one knows...
That allows a hunger for more.
For a darkening that stops a tease,
Baiting as it does...
The craving of a curiosity!

Who would want to leave 'that'...
If that was a possibility?
If one could,
Who really would desire...
To wish for less of an interest to digest?
Coming as it does to feed!
Who would choose not to adventure...
When the power of it,
From one does not leave!
How can anyone wish to go back inside?
Once bitten to probe a need.

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Stepping out of the shadows..

Stepping out of the shadows to feel the warmth of the light.
To come to an understanding of leaving a lose/lose situation,
and yet feel victorious.

The heart slowing down... thoughts are getting focused. To only
understand the true love I have is called freedom.

The freedom to walk around without stumbling.
The freedom to feel the wind in my face.
The freedom to think about my short past, and my long future.
The freedom to enjoy my life with a view of clarity.
The freedom to count the milage on my long motorcycle rides.
The freedom to count on my friends and never fear.
The freedom to understand some peoples mistakes.
The freedom to walk away and never worry.

Into the light I walk..a new vision.. a new life.

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Universal Freedom Is......

Freedom from hunger and freedom from pain
freedom from loss and so freedom from gain.
Freedom to give and freedom to share
freedom from want and that of despair.

Freedom to think and freedom to know
freedom to achieve and freedom to grow.
Freedom from bondage and freedom of liberation
freedom from ignorance and any unknown situation.

Freedom to come and freedom to leave
freedom to stay and freedom to conceive.
Freedom from struggle and freedom of ease
freedom to enjoy and the capacity to please.

Freedom from failure and freedom of success
freedom from denial and freedom of access.
Freedom from illusion and freedom of reality
freedom to become what we are in actuality.

Freedom to live and freedom to die
freedom to laugh and freedom to cry.
Freedom to speak and freedom to listen
freedom to act based on a wise decision.

Freedom from hate and freedom of love
freedom of below and freedom of above.
Freedom of the past and freedom of the present
freedom of the future and what it can represent.

Freedom from war and freedom of peace
freedom to begin and freedom to cease.
Freedom from sickness and freedom of health
freedom from poverty and mishandled wealth.

Freedom from wrong and freedom being right
freedom of the day and freedom of the night.
Freedom to choose and freedom to reject
freedom to imagine what there is to expect.

Freedom from lust and freedom from greed
freedom from anger and freedom from breed.
Freedom from jealousy and freedom from pride
freedom from within and freedom from outside.
Freedom of always not having anything to hide.

Freedom from space and also freedom from time
freedom from attachment and freedom from crime
Freedom to work and freedom to play
freedom to believe and freedom to pray.
Freedom to experience a rebirth someday.

Freedom from the body and freedom from the mind
freedom from the ego and freedom from being blind.
Freedom of transcendence being of the spiritual kind.

Universal freedom is eternal and infinite bliss
we should all therefore be able to realise this.

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Let Them Think (Distraction)

Let them think
I’m not more than a smiling statue
Let them say
I’m just a shallow beauty
That so easy to be swept by world current
When inside I analyze everything
And laugh to the fool around me

Let them think
I’m a weak fragile creature
Let them speak
I’m too useless to be consider as obstacle
And not dangerous enough to be watched
When inside I steady my pace
To sneak and reach my goal

Let them think
I’m just a crazy unstable child
Let them discuss
I should go on therapy
When they actually doesn’t really understand or care about me
But inside my emotion is clearer and stronger than anyone
And I could decide which wrong or right

Let them think
I’m a stupid loyal subordinate
Let them treat
It doesn’t matter if I’m not exist
And made only to follow order
When inside I’m an opportunist monster
That hold every their little dirty secret
To use it for my own

Let them think
I’m a naïve innocent girl
Let them point
They dislike me because I never taste the difficulty
Because I never face the cruel world
When inside the dark has lived in my heart
And behind the mask that never cracked
I enjoy that

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Connect Me To You Heart

Connect me to your heart, my friend
it is this heart that gives until it hurts
The heart that hears your voice
Deep from the tranquil ocean
Learning to ride the waves
And see the beauty in each magnificence

If today you will hear my voice
Harden not, just connect me to your heart
Learn to live and feel this heart beat
That says..all is well..keep on doing
What is right, have no fear of tomorrow.
There must be no turning. back...just be focused..

You have so much for everything
To give, to share, to love, to live
Take one day at a time, and enjoy
Your candle must be lighted
So you will not stumble in the dark
Connect me..to your heart..my friend.

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Freedom Lies

Freedom, theres more to your life so now[? ]
Old laws, man has made only blind.
Oh, give us freedom, a call to the brave and the strong,
To stand in the face of all wrong and show the way.
Freedom lies, freedom lies, freedom lies.
Freedom to live out the dream in a song,
Give hope to the hearts of the young.
Oh, give us freedom to act out of love and not fear,
So all that is true will be clear.
Hear tomorrow, calling hold me, show me.
Freedom lies, freedom lies, freedom lies.
Freedom lies, freedom lies, freedom lies.

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I Cant Ever Get Enough Of You

Darren hayes / rick nowels
Well I know that I have only ever held your hand but just one touch is more
Than enough to understand theres a master plan and although I know I dont
Believe in destiny maybe it found me now my world is filled with so many things
But nothing compares to the touch of your skin theres a symphony and a melody
That plays whenever youre around I think Ive been found
I can see the sun and I can feel the rain I can hear the wind call your name i
Can feel your love but theres one thing I cant do I cant ever get enough of
You
Now I know that in the past Ive been much too keen but your eyes are the
Kindest that Ive ever seen I guess there are some things you just know theres
A voice inside telling me to hold on and never let you go theres a tune that
Plays its a sacred sound its a symphony I hear whenever youre around now my
World is filled with a whisper of love and a promise of tomorrow I can see the
Sun and I can feel the rain I can hear the wind call your name I can feel your
Love but theres one thing I cant do I cant ever get enough of you
When we make love I lose track of time I cant count all the colors I see in
Your eyes and while your heart beats in mine, its true I cant ever get enough
Of you
Now my world is filled with so many things but nothing compares to the touch of
Your skin theres a symphony and a melody that plays whenever youre around i
Think Ive been found
I can see the sun and I can feel the rain I can hear the wind call your name i
Can feel your love but theres one thing I cant do I cant ever get enough of
You
I can see the sun and I can feel the rain I can hear the wind call your name i
Can feel your love but theres one thing I cant do I cant ever get enough of
You

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I Can't Ever Get Enough Of You

Well I know that I have only ever held your hand
But just one touch is more than enough to understand
There's a master plan
And although I know I don't believe in destiny
Maybe it found me
Now my world is filled with so many things
But nothing compares to the touch of your skin
There's a symphony
And a melody that plays whenever you're around
I think I've been found

I can see the sun
And I can feel the rain
I can hear the wind call your name
I can feel your love
But there's one thing I can't do
I can't ever get enough of you

Now I know that in the past I've been much too keen
But your eyes are the kindest that I've ever seen
I guess there are some things you just know
There's a voice inside telling me to hold on
And never let you go
There's a tune that plays
It's a sacred sound
It's a symphony I hear whenever you're around
Now my world is filled
With a whisper of love and a promise of tomorrow

I can see the sun
And I can feel the rain
I can hear the wind call your name
I can feel your love
But there's one thing I can't do
I can't ever get enough of you

When we make love I lose track of time
I can't count all the colors I see in your eyes
And while your heart beats in mine

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Inside Of My Guitar

INSIDE OF MY GUITAR
Melvin Banggollay


When I saw my guitar hanging on the wall
It reminds me that once I do sung with joy
as I passionately air a melody one can enjoy
while my guitar hummed songs I can't recall.

Come inside of my guitar
There's a garden full of star
Shinning to tingle your desire
To hear me even you're afar
For the wind will surely whisper
deep in your hear to remember
my love to thee will be forever.

But now my guitar solemnly rest in the wall
with no sweet tune to hum one can enjoy
For my heart could no longer feel the joy
to air tender melody I love to sing and recall.

I buried my desire to sing forever
For you are no longer here to hear
the love songs I used to proudly offer
whenever we are enjoying together
Sharing melody with my old guitar
that one can even hear from afar
as the wind loved to share its nectar.

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Being Yourself

Be the way that you want to be
Not the way that others have chose
Be not your Mother, nor your Father,
Because in your body their blood does flow.
Be what you want if you so desire
If that's what's in your soul
Bring forth a wish or make a dream
And never be stopped by “No”.
Laugh if you feel like laughing
Even though the world might frown
Laugh from your soul, even if there's woe
But laugh, because it is your sound.
Sing a song as loud as you need
Even though friends will turn their head
And do the things that you do seek
And never follow when you should of led.
Seek your pleasures before you seek others
Forget what other books have wrote
Worry for yourself, before anyone else
Then unto life you will proudly hold.


Randy L. McClave

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In my thoguhts i am alone

In my thoughts i am alone
where i fear no one understands
the pain the illness the sadness
the nightly terrors i handle alone
this experience i cant handle of this illness
they call bipolar the way im defined or labled that
one can not see past to see who i am beyond the illness
who is scared of herself who is caring for others more than herself
who will do anything to make another happy
but for one to meet someone who is 'bipolar' thats what they see
unstable depressed manic angry mood swing mess
but what they dont understand is how stable is not in our world
and it doesnt define us it makes us who we are
this illness we battle alone cause unless you have it
you can never fully understand and even if you do i dont think
we can fully understand it...
alone in this illness
alone in these thoughts
alone is how i feel
i cry alone when i feel alone
i sleep to be alone to feel nothing
to feel nothing or empty is what i need
it would be better than the saddness and hurt and
the feeling of alone
my tears fall alone
i enjoy being alone but the feeling of alone is
something i can not handle
to feel like there is no one
to feel like no one can truely understand or care
i only ache with this fear
i try to cry and scream for help but no one seems to hear
so lost in this illness and how to not feel alone

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Questions

It's everything we do while we're here
A fear or a thought, a feeling or a dream
Touch it and taste it, breathe it all in
Say what you feel, things aren't what they seem
Why live, why breathe,
Why breed, why die?
These questions all tied up inside
It's all or nothing or what you make it
A prize or a secret, Which path do you take
Decisions and gambles, a goal to be scored
Risks and lies We all make mistakes
Why live, why breathe,
Why breed, why die?
These questions all tied up inside
Thoughts without pictures
Looks without seeing
Words without reason
Touch without feeling
Life is your reward
Not to be ignored
Why ask the questions when there's no answer?
Why play the game when there's no way to win?
Why ask the questions when there's no answers?
Why seek the truth when the truth is within

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Questions

It's everything we do while we're here
A fear or a thought, a feeling or a dream
Touch it and taste it, breathe it all in
Say what you feel, things aren't what they seem
Why live, why breathe,
Why breed, why die?
These questions all tied up inside
It's all or nothing or what you make it
A prize or a secret, Which path do you take
Decisions and gambles, a goal to be scored
Risks and lies We all make mistakes
Why live, why breathe,
Why breed, why die?
These questions all tied up inside
Thoughts without pictures
Looks without seeing
Words without reason
Touch without feeling
Life is your reward
Not to be ignored
Why ask the questions when there's no answer?
Why play the game when there's no way to win?
Why ask the questions when there's no answers?
Why seek the truth when the truth is within

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The Heaven Broker

I am the GOOD I set you free
I conquer the evil, follow me and you’ll see
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me in each bee

I am the GOOD I let you MATURE
LOVE and PEACE are my nature
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me in each feature

I am the GOOD, I let you WISE
I fight against hypocrisy and lies
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me in each Exact Sunrise

I am the GOOD, from the sins I am the preventive
I wipe away your hurts, just be my captive
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me from the beginning I am native

I am the GOOD, search, explore, you’ll find me in your inside
In the deep of your inner, I am sinking, help me, I am your Pride
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me when natural acts to me they guide

I am the GOOD, I emancipate you from the TEMPTATION, from the DESIRE
I keep your Inner PEACE, I am the King of your Peaceful empire
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me when the RAIN quenches the FIRE

I am the GOOD, Don’t hesitate, follow me, I am your Special Fair Law;
Peace, Love, Care, Tolerance, Respect and Faith are my Rational Draw
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me when you conceive the CREATOR Perfection, there is no flaw

Right, left, up and down, meditate me I am the NATURE, I am the LOVE
One only CREATOR can do that absolutely He Is Above …
Contemplate NATURE, you’ll find me when all living beings praise Trees, Seas, Bees, Ants and Doves…

I am the GOOD, I am the BELIEVER, your HEAVEN Ticket I’ll pay
I am the TRUTH of each year, month and day,
I head your FAITH to the RIGHT way
If you contemplate me, you would touch me everyday
I show you my signs, I am the Moon light and the Sun Ray
JUST CONTMPLATE NATURE, I'LL BE THERE, IN EVERY WAY


*** All My Respect To My Second Mother THE NATURE

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The soul in me is really hers

I do not know how to make my eyes, which
Move impatiently around
To have a glance of her,
Understand
That she herself is my vision

I do not know how to make my ears, which
Long for hearing
The sweet voice of hers,
Understand
That she keeps singing inside me

I do not know how to make my heart, which
Throbs for an
Intimate togetherness with her,
Understand
That each of its pulse is triggered by her thought

I do not know how to make my hands, which
Are gnawingly desirous
Of caressing her
Understand
That I am yet to recover from the
Scintillation of her previous touch

I do not know how to make my lips, which
Restlessly bother me
With their thirst for a passionate kiss of hers
Understand
That I still hold on to
The taste of the previous experience

I do not know how to make my olfactory nerves, which
Consistently seek to get
The smell of hers
Understand
That the entire air
Is laden with the scent of her fragrance

I do not know how to make the soul inside me, which
In solitude
Cries for a heartful union with her
Understand
That the soul in me is really hers

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Be wise

Desire is inborn;
Fear is implanted;
Both at loggerheads.

Desire defies not;
Fear concedes not.

Desire goes stealthily;
Fear rules steadily;
Passion oozes wisely.

Desire dies slowly;
Fear echoes proudly;
Life lies listless.

One lives only once.
Next whence?
Why this pretence?

‘Eat, drink, and be merry! ’.
Charvaka says.

‘Annihilate the desire,
Pray, slave and repent
Till you die’,
Moral teaches us.

It is left to you to choose
There from
13.06.99

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Don't Fear the Dream

Don't fear the dream, children, as I once did
Don't fear the dream in the stillness of night
Follow that call, given in the darkness
For it will lead you into that bright light

Don't fear the emotions that well within
Don't fear the emotions as the tears fall
Follow your conscience, speaking deep inside
For life with no heart, is no life at all

Don't fear the power that you've been given
Don't fear the power when your moment comes
Follow the Giver who gives you your strength
For there's reason you are who you've become

Don't fear the dream, so bold, as I once did
Don't fear the dream or the visions by night
Follow that call, as given by your King
For reward awaits those who fear, yet fight

And, even when your struggle seems hopeless
And, even when your heart begins to fail
Don't fear the impending evil ahead
For if He is with you, you will prevail

((January 19th,2006))

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Lonely Wind

When I'm needin' a friend I can talk to the wind
God I sure am glad that I found him
Sometimes he seems to be the only one beside me
Who can feel the Lord's breath all around him
Winter's cold frozen ice or a bright autumn day
On a warm summer night you can hear him say
Cry for me, sigh for me, sad breezes flow
Stay for me, play for me, the song my friends will know
My lonely wind must blow
Mighty friend that is mine, can you give me a sign?
He'll leave nothing but only to hear him
I've seen the tall trees bend low when his mighty winds blow
And that's all the more reason I fear him
Hear him call for the earth lonely I can feel his great pain
But on the eve of this day
I'll join in his refrain
When I'm needing a friend I'll remember the wind
And my life here with the breezes of sorrow
I'll be leaving him soon 'cause I've got to make room
For the lonely that will find him tomorrow
On a black stormy night in your bosom I'll cling
And I'll know I've found love and the last song we'll sing

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Because I'm A Real Woman

Lie and try to build a home,

Among the kingdome of your lies,

But im the woman with millions of senses,

And never fears, to walk away and make your heart tear,

Cause when ill walk the ground under my feet,

Will shake and cry.

Lie but soon you will discover,

That your soul is covered,

With the fire of your lies,

But the woman in me ever sacrifices,

Her pride to make you feel satisfied.

Lie and laugh with all your heart,

And your silly ego let it feel proud,

But the woman on me does not exist,

There where all your lies lie,

Because when I will walk with my steps millions of man's hearts will shiver and fly..

Lie and enjoy the sense of greatness..

But that makes no sense,

Because your glory soon will fade,

The one who lies one time,

Will never feel shy,

To lie millions of times,

Once you has betrayed

someone's trust, Nothing could help you to gain it back,

Lie and enjoy the pleasure of being a perfect liear,

The man inside you lets fly higher,

But im the woman with honest soul,

And when ill walk,

Never again ill talk,

Even if my heart will cry,

But ill never turn back and try,

Once again to live your lie,

Its better for me to die.

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Why Does Depession Take Over My Heart?

I have everything I could ever want:
The love of a guy, friends, and family who care
Yet depression takes over half of my heart
I wait till the worst takes over me
Yet I can’t let go the desire to bleed
I promise I won’t
But how can this be
Can’t you hear my silent scream?
I promised I wouldn’t cut too deep
I can’t stand to hear you cry
So I gave it up once and for all
I look at the blade
But I just turn away
Have you ever been so proud of me?
Yet I Can’t help to still feel
This depression of what I can’t explain
How can I be in this much pain?
Because of you I won’t look at my vain
You say that you don’t understand
Why I could feel this with my heart in your hand
So tell me why I feel so bad
Why does depression take over my heart?

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