The Ear That Won A Casting Show
Ladies and Gentlemen, this candidate is one of the most unusual we have
ever had on Superstar! His mother died before he was born, his father was a one-legged alcoholic pole vaulter whose only bit of luck was winning a ticket for the maiden voyage of the Titanic. Ear has suffered
a number of amputations - FBR, full body removal- and is also deaf.But despite all this he will delight millions of T V viewers and waggle his
lobe to a melody from Saturday Night Fever.
We will expect him to win, so all you paid free-loaders are expected to
stand up and clap like sea lions who have just drunk after shave...
(Off mike) Jerry, didn`t he turn up? What, you left the box on the bus?
O.K, he was REALLLY boring..Haven`t we got a singing slug as a backup?
poem by Leslie Philibert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
An Elegy for My Father
It was a boring Saturday afternoon when my father died,
I'd been listening to Buddy Holly on the radio and wasting my time,
Mucking about with a stanza or two and looking for a rhyme,
It was a boring Saturday afternoon the day my father died.
My mother had dementia and couldn't understand
That my father was dying and leaving her behind,
She thought he'd gone on a journey and she didn't really mind,
But she wanted him to come back to her and she didn't understand.
What really appals me is that no-one makes a noise,
Things happen that shake your heart but nobody beats a drum,
We do not even notice when the Angels of Darkness come,
And what really appals me is that no-one makes a noise.
Camus says 'each of us is born condemned to die' -
And I guess it certainly seems that way,
You fritter away your time on another boring day,
Measuring your life out with Buddy Holly tunes
Or pints of beer or even coffee spoons,
But I'm sick of all the philosophy and I want to cry.
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Honky Tonk Saturday Night
Angels and devils share the same tables
And thats not so wrong if you get it done right.
Halos and horns lock up on the dance floor
On a honkytonk saturday night.
Its a honkytonk saturday night,
Its not who is who, its who will or who might.
With luck shell turn on fore they turn out the lights
On a honkytonk saturday night.
I played the jukebox, I played some merle haggard,
Me and the waitress think hes outta sight.
Then some folks got thirsty while we were dancin
On a honkytonk saturday night.
Its a honkytonk saturday night,
Its not who is who, its who will or who might.
With luck Ill turn her on fore they turn out the lights
On a honkytonk saturday night.
With luck Ill take her home fore they turn out the lights
On a honkytonk saturday night.
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Skill The Brain’s Lobe
The left lobe for logic,
And the right lobe for creativeness,
Stand in a cerebrum.
The left acts to arrive
While the right, to derive.
The left acts to renovate
While the right to innovate.
Which lobe is stronger
That lobe must be fed still more.
09.09.2005
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Saturday Night At The Local
Saturday night in The Ramble Inn Bar
Johnny the folk singer strums on his guitar
For his entertainment in beer he is paid
Not a hard one to please is Danny McDaid,
Saturday night the night for the sing along
Everyone gets a chance to sing a song
Anyone who sings will get a free beer
Saturday night is the night of good cheer,
Annie she sings and she receives an encore
Drinks her free beer and she sings a few more
Singing and dancing and reciting rhyme
Everyone's having a jolly good time,
Nobody is looking for trouble or fight
Down at the Local on Saturday night.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Goodnight
Good night now ladies and gentlemen
Good night now ladies and gents.
That's the end of the show, now it's time to go.
Good night now ladies and gentlemen
Good night now ladies and gents.
That's the end of the show, now it's time to go.
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to, would you like to,
Would you like to do a number with me?
(repeat 1x)
Cheap trick says goodnight!
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Goodnight Ladies
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Let me tell you now
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Now all night long youve been drinking your tequilla
But now youve sucked your lemon peel dry
So why not get high
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Goodnight sweet ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye bye bye
Oh weve been together for the longest time
But now its time to get high
Come on lets get high
And goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Oh, Im still missing my other half
Ah, it must be something I did in the past
Dont it just make you want to laugh
Its a lonely saturday night
Oh, nobody calls me on the telephone
I put another record on my stereo
But Im still singin a song of you
Its a lonely saturday night
Now if I was an actor or a dancer who is glamorous
Then you know an amorus life would soon be mine
But now the tinsil lighted starbreak is all thats left
To play my heartbreak
At eleven oclock I watch the network news
Oh, wow, wow, something tells me that youre nearly gone
You said we could be friends but thats not what I want
Ah, anyway my tv dinners almost done
Its a lonely saturday night
I mean to tell you its a lonely saturday night
One more round
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Goldfever
Thats not the way, thats not the way of the world
Late night creeper with a saturday night,
Saturday night special
After some poor storekeeper,
You need more and more just to stay alive
Ooh its a sin, baby you fight to win
But the rich get richer
And the poor keep living in ditches
Goldfever, let me tell you about goldfever
Dont you know that its on old fever
And I tell you its a cold killer
Said Im talking about goldfever
Dont you know that its an old fever
And I tell you its a heartbreaker
Yeah Im talking about goldfever
Let me tell about, let me tell you about goldfever
Big business man, incorporate this,
Incorporate that, yeah
Youre making all them dollar bills
But you no longer see humanity needs love
Ooh, its a crime, baby in 3/4 time
Go on with your billions
While the people keep on dying in millions
Goldfever, let me tell you about goldfever
Dont you know that its on old fever
And I tell you its a cold killer
Said Im talking about goldfever
Dont you know that its an old fever
And I tell you its a heartbreaker
Yeah Im talking about goldfever
Let me tell you about, let me tell you about goldfever
And it hits you like a cold fever
It comes on like a real sensation
But it will leave you in desolation
Yeah, Im talking about goldfever
And though I know that its an old fever
Its a number one best seller
And it can put you in heaven or hell
Ah, let me tell you about goldfever
Dont you know that its an old fever
And I tell you its a cold killer
Let me tell you about goldfever
Let me tell you about, let me tell you about goldfever
song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
On More Saturday Night
One More Saturday Night
-----------------------
I went down to the mountain, I was drinkin' some wine,
looked up in the heavens Lord I saw a mighty sign,
written in fire across the heavens, plain as black and white;
Get prepared, there's gonna be a party tonight.
Uhuh, Hey! Saturday Night!
Yeh, uhuh one more Saturday night,
Hey saturday night !
Everybody's dancin' down the local armory
with a basement full of dynamite and light artillery.
The temperature keeps risin', everybody gittin' high;
come the rockin' stroke of midnite, the place is gonna fly.
Uhuh, Hey! Saturday Night!
Yeh, uhuh one more Saturday night,
Hey saturday night !
Turn on channel six, the President comes on the news,
says "I get no satisfaction, that's why I sing the blues."
These wives, they don't get crazy, Lord, they know just what to do,
crank up that old Victrola, put on them rockin' shoes.
Uhuh, Hey! Saturday Night!
Yeh, uhuh one more Saturday night,
Hey saturday night !
When God way up in Heaven, for whatever it was worth,
thought He'd have a big old party, thought He'd call it planet Earth.
Don't worry about tomorrow, Lord, you'll know it when it comes,
when the rock and roll music meets the risin' shinin' sun.
Uhuh, Hey! Saturday Night!
Yeh, uhuh one more Saturday night,
Hey saturday night !
Hey another Saturday night,
Hey another Saturday night,
Everybody gettin' right,
Hey another Saturday night,
One more saturday, one more Saturday night,
Hey another Saturday night,
Hey another Saturday night,
Hey another Saturday night,
One more saturday, one more saturday night.
Hey another Saturday night,
Hey another Saturday night,
Hey another Saturday night,
One more saturday, one more saturday night
song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Feel The Girl
[Intro Timbaland (Ms. Jaded)]
Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Lay lay lay ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Lay ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Skrip skirt skrip lay lay
(Ms. Jade) La la la lay
Earr err err
[Verse 1 Ms. Jade]
Ms. Jade's the name comin' to ruin the game
Bringin' the thunder and rain
song performed by by Ms. Jade from Girl Interrupted
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Unseen
something's wrong with mother always cleaning the house
and father complains for she does nothing but sweep and scrub
and dust and wipe and rub,
the floors are shiny and father does not like it
he may slide and the children too
and each may hurt the body, but mother cannot be stopped
and we complain like what father does, but mother does not
really mind, for she has become so hardheaded because father
slaps her and we make her deaf with our grumblings
until then when mother died and father cried and we felt we had all our
lives wasted, but there was one in the family who smiled
someone who thought that mother simply did what she liked best
clean the dirt, mop the floors, get all the spider's cobwebs
someone sees the beauty of mother, she's doing her chores still
but now unseen
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My Father's Eulogy
Ladies and Gentlemen,
You are all gathered here today
To pay your respects to someone you knew.
However,
I come today not to bury my father
But set him free.
You see
The man who was my father died
Along with his dreams
Many years back.
He was slowly crushed by disappointments
Until he no longer wished to fight
This shell was not the father of my childhood
Who stood straight as the redwoods
He is not the man who knew how to laugh and play.
My father bartered his pride for too small a price
And became a pauper.
His self esteem slipped away long before his last breath.
He had been trying to suffocate himself
Under his own weight.
I knew him when he still had a twinkle in his eyes.
So,
Do not cry for this body before you
Because you never met the actual soul
That so long ago was housed in his body.
He deformed himself to the extent
That even he no longer recognized himself in his reflection.
Perhaps it was easier not remembering
Who he use to be.
I inherited my sense of humor, my love of music,
My quickness and speed from my father,
Even my biting sarcasm.
My spirit seems to be my mother's.
For those of you who knew him in his youth
You knew him better than me
For those of you who knew him with a young family
You knew him as well as me.
For those of you who met him once he was broken
You may have seen a glimmer of who he use to be,
And, that, on a good day.
I will say again,
Thank you for your presence
I will ask you kindly,
Not to weep.
My father left this life long ago
Because in his dreams
He could hide from the world and find his peace.
Let him sleep a last long slumber
And,
I wish him beautiful dreams.
poem by Rabia Minhas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
We’re Going
Me and Christine are going to run away,
we’re going to do a runner next Saturday.
We don’t know where, but we’re going far,
we’re going by bus and train, and not by car.
We’re going at seven on Saturday night,
because her father’s been touching and that isn’t right.
We’ve been saving our money for some weeks now
we haven’t got enough, but we’ll manage somehow.
When Chris visits my house she’s full of tears
and leaving her sisters are her biggest fears.
We’d like to take her brother and sisters too,
but we haven’t the money for more than two.
We’ve just got to get away from this terrible situation
there’s more than family to take into consideration.
Her dad says if she tells on him he’ll just leave everyone,
that’s his wife, three daughters, Christine, and his son.
Chris's mum believes everything is fine with this guy,
but she can’t tell her, because she would think it a lie.
So, we've no choice and we've just got to get away,
and we’re going at seven next Saturday.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I Didn't Mean To Turn You
Let you take me out
I knew what you were all about
But when I did
I wasn't tryin' to lead you on
Now you bring me home
And tell me goodnight's
Not enough for you
I'm sorry baby
I didn't mean to turn you on
You read me wrong
I wasn't trying to lead you on
I want a friend
I didn't mean to turn you on
I didn't mean to turn you on
I know you
Expected a one night stand
When I refused
I knew you wouldn't understand
Boy I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice
Only tryin' to be nice
Oh
I didn't mean to turn you on
Oh I didn't mean to turn you on
Turn you on
Tell me why should I
Feel guilty cause I won't give
Guilty cause I won't give in
I didn't mean to turn you on
[repeat chorus]
You think that I'm a fool
Cause I wouldn't play by your rules
(I didn't mean to turn you on)
You don't stand a chance
All I want to do is dance with you
(I didn't mean to turn you on)
I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice
(I didn't mean to turn you on)
I loved you for a friend
But I guess this is the
End of our relationship
Cause I didn't mean to turn you on
I didn't mean to turn you on
Sorry.
[Repeat]
song performed by by Mariah Carey from Glitter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Born to Work
I wasn’t born to work you know,
Not like a snail is born to slime,
Pecuniary incarceration.....
That should be a crime!
I don’t do any damage,
To your veggies or your flowers
Yet I’m bound to work, not free to roam
For years (and by the hour!)
I wasn’t born to work you know,
I’d rather be a snail or slug
Inflated monthly targets
Don’t mean much when you’re a bug.
I know a slug is not a bug
So pedants please stand down,
Poetic licence there I cite,
So loose that crazy frown!
I wasn’t born to work you know,
I’d rather be a flea
On second thoughts though
What I want
Is to be a work free me!
poem by Cathie Tufnail
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Didn't Mean To Turn You On
Let you take me out
I knew what you were all about
But when I did
I wasn't tryin' to lead you on
Now you bring me home
And tell me goodnight's
Not enough for you
I'm sorry baby
I didn't mean to turn you on
Chorus:
You read me wrong
I wasn't trying to lead you on
I want a friend
I didn't mean to turn you on
I didn't mean to turn you on
I know you
Expected a one night stand
When I refused
I knew you wouldn't understand
Boy I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice
Only tryin' to be nice
Oh
I didn't mean to turn you on
Oh I didn't mean to turn you on
Turn you on
Tell me why should I
Feel guilty cause I won't give
Guilty cause I won't give in
I didn't mean to turn you on
(repeat chorus)
You think that I'm a fool
Cause I wouldn't play by your rules
(I didn't mean to turn you on)
You don't stand a chance
All I want to do is dance with you
(I didn't mean to turn you on)
I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice
(I didn't mean to turn you on)
I loved you for a friend
But I guess this is the
End of our relationship
Cause I didn't mean to turn you on
I didn't mean to turn you on
Sorry.
Repeat
song performed by by Mariah Carey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Didn't Mean To Turn You On
When I took you out
I knew what you were all about
But when I did
I didn't mean to turn you on
Now I bring you home
You tell me the night's not enough for you
I'm sorry, baby
I didn't mean to turn you on
Woah, baby, I didn't mean to turn you on
You read me wrong
I wasn't tryin' to lead you on
Not like you think
I didn't mean to turn you on
I know you
Expected a one-night-stand when I refused
I knew you wouldn't understand
I'm sorry, baby
I didn't mean to turn you on
I told you twice
I was only tryin' to be nice
Only tryin' to be nice
Oh, I didn't mean to turn you on
Hey, now why should I
Feel guilty 'cause I won't give
Guilty 'cause I won't give in
I didn't mean to turn you on
Woah, baby, I didn't mean to turn you on
When I took you out
I knew what you were all about
But when I did
I didn't mean to turn you on
Woah, baby, I didn't mean to turn you on
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
To Be No. 1
Music : peter wolf, matthias jabs
Lyrics: klaus meine
Give me a job
The one i havn't got
Don't write me off at anytime
Don't ever leave me unsatisfied
I don't wanna come in a second
I just wanna come
Don't wanna be the last in line
Don't wanna be just left behind
And in the evening when i come home
It is time to throw my dog a bone
That's when i wear my shirt that says
In capital letters in capital letters
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
(he's got no job, got no blow got no monica to go to)
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
(he's a superstar, wunderbar, out of touch too much)
Don't tell me i'm small
An inch too short
I might not be your size but i'm sure great
And definitely underpaid
So give me a job
The one i haven't got
Don't tell me i'm too poor to join the club
To hang out with the big shots
And in the evening when i come home
It is time to give my dog a bone
That's when i wear my shirt that says
In capital letters in capital letters
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
(he's got no job, got no blow, got no monica to go to)
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
(he's a v.i.p. wannabe, all he ever wants is)
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
Isn't it fun fun fun yeah to be number one
(he's a v.i.p. wannabe all he ever wants is)
To be number one
And in the evening when i come home
It is time to throw my dog a bone
That's when i wear my shirt that says
In capital letters in capital letters
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
(he's got no job, got no blow got no monica to go to)
Isn't it fun fun fun yeah to be number one
(he's a superstar, wunderbar, out of touch too much)
Isn't it fun fun fun to be number one
Isn't it fun fun fun fun to be number one
To be number one
(fun, fun, fun)
To be number one
To be number one
(he's got no job, got no blow got no monica to go to)
To be number one
To be number one
(he's a superstar, wunderbar, out of touch too much)
To be number one
To be number one
(he's got no job, got no blow got no monica to go to)
Yeah
song performed by by Scorpions
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
P2 Vatican Blues (Last Saturday Night)
Gazed at the ceiling from below
A splendid Michelangelo
Filled my heart with delight
Last Saturday night
Arrived believing from home
Climbed every step inside St. Peter's Dome
Claustrophobic and ex-Catholic
Last Saturday night
Now how come nobody really noticed
Puff of white smoke knocked me out
The truth is hiding, lurking, banking
Things they do at night
It's quite suspicious to say the least
Even mentioned it to my local priest
One Our Father, three Hail Marys
Each Saturday Night
I wish somebody would tell me
That it's only a show
I'll confess, own up, let's bface it
In my concrete tuxedo
It's quite suspicious to say the least
While mentioning it to my priest
One Our Father, three Hail Marys
Each Saturday night
One Our Father three Hail Marys
Each Saturday night
One Our Father three Hail Marys
Each Saturday night
George Harrison: voz, slide guitar, cavaquinho e coros
Jeff Lynne: guitarra acstica e elctrica, wurlitzer, coros
Dhani Harrison: guitarra acstica e coros
Jim Keltner: bateria
song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Remembering Childhood
by accident you come across
an old picture
you recognize the face of your father
beside your mother
with his gun on the side of his body
as reservist of the army
you look closely
your mother pouts
and she is holding on to her
white skirt
you father's right hand grips
his gun
while the left holds on to
the chair just behind your
mother's neck
there is a baby being held
by your mother
it is sleeping and it looks
like you
your father does not like
you and you know it from the very start
you know how to pretend
till he died
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Another Saturday Night
Another saturday night
By: sam cooke
Chorus:
Another saturday night and I aint got nobody
Ive got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
Im in an awful way
I got in town a month ago
Ive seen a lot of girls since then
If I could meet em I could get em
But as yet I havent met em
Thats why Im in the shape Im in
Chorus:
Oh, another saturday night and I aint got nobody
Ive got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
Im in an awful way
Now another fella told me
He had a sister who looked just fine
Instead of being my deliverance
She had a strange resemblance
To a cat name frankenstein
Chorus:
Oh, another saturday night and I aint got nobody
Ive got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
Im in an awful way
Chorus:
Yeah, another saturday night and I aint got nobody
Ive got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
Im in an awful way
Its hard on a fella
When he dont know his way around
If I dont find me a honey
To help me spend this money
Im headin back to key west town
Chorus:
Oh, another saturday night and I aint got nobody
Ive got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
Im in an awful way
Chorus:
Just another saturday night and I aint got nobody
Ive got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
Im in an awful way
-- spoken:
Its awful. all dressed up and no place to go. no one to help me spend
My flow. another saturday night. get me the pizza man.
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!