With Their Wishes To Be 'Freaky
I think I've been called,
Every derogatory name there is.
When I was a kid that use to bother me.
Especially those names I couldn't spell.
I had at one time collected them.
To see which ones I preferred.
So...
To entertain,
I admit I then did some things that were strange.
Many years have passed,
And even today I'm considered 'eccentric'.
As if I did not spend my life pursuing this!
Status quo folks bore me to tears.
With their 'normal' way of doing things...
'Whatever' today people consider that 'is'.
And as I reach to seek for more challenges,
I realize I've almost outdone myself.
Believing I was made to test the waters,
Before anyone else.
And a few have sought me out to give advice.
With their wishes to be 'freaky' without paying the price.
'Back off!
I've earned this! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Letting Go Today
today i am letting go of all the pain
today i am letting go of everything
and after today i will leave here knowing that you did love me
and i believe that things will change
all the things that were left unsaid
all the things we never did
i am letting go today
mom i am letting you go today
i understand that i have made some mistakes
some which i am still paying for today
but i am ready for change. it takes two to fight
and i refuse to fight anymore after today
dad i am letting go today
you gave me the best seven months of ma life
you showed me that everyone is not the same
and have different ways with dealing with things
i hurt you but i am letting all that go today
all the lies and the tears in ma eyes
tory i am letting go today
i was confused
had noone in the world to tell me what to do
i have so much pain and hate but im letting all that go today
i am humen and i dont always have the answer for everthing
i am tryen but i need to try harder.
so i am letting maself go today
all the hurt all the pain
i promise you i am letting it all go today
poem by Destiny Tatum
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I Admit I Have Forgotten
When I was a much younger person,
It was difficult for me to listen...
With a paying of attention.
I was young, dumb and full of...
Ignorance I shared.
With those who became upset,
With decisions I made too late to correct.
Today,
I listen to everyone.
Whether what is said is solicited or not.
I even sit through people repeating themselves,
With hopes my raised eyebrow would send a clue...
I got the message two days ago.
And they 'still' continue.
Believing I am listening intently.
I've learned that one never knows,
What is being said today...
Will not apply one day.
Whenever that day arrives.
'Remember you told me to shut my mouth,
To listen years ago.
And I became offended,
Calling you some horrible and atrocious names? '
No.
I don't remember that.
What names did you call me?
How horrible and atrocious were they?
'Well...
I just wanted to say I am grateful to you.
And I feel even more blessed,
You have forgiven me.'
Wait a minute. Hold on.
What were those names you called me?
Help me remember.
Maybe I haven't forgiven you at all.
Although I admit I have forgotten.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Too Patient
When I began to weed through,
My priority list...
I saw some things on it,
That no longer exist.
I had placed people,
Who I considered friends on this list.
And for years they had been on it...
Doing and saying things to me as they wished.
Some don't speak to me.
But my name is on their lips.
When I began to weed through,
My priority list...
I saw some things on it,
That should not on my list exist!
Very few on my priority list,
Have me on their agenda.
And if they do,
I'm sure it's for fun, sport and gossip.
When I began to weed through,
My priority list...
I saw some things on it,
I couldn't not explain...
Why some names had hearts near them.
Did I do that?
Did I draw them in?
I use to dropp every and anything,
To be at someone's aide.
Some people I would call everyday...
Just to see if they were okay.
I've even allowed my own work to be submitted...
So folks could get their college degrees.
Joking about this,
I am not!
I have been the subject of innuendos and lies,
As if my life meant nothing at all.
To leave me to walk around with 'my' pain disguised.
Then I awakened and realized.
I am considered a fool!
Today...
When I began to weed through,
My priority list...
I saw some things on it,
That no longer exist.
And wondered to myself 'WHY'...
Is this stuff still 'there'.
Get rid of it!
This makes no sense.
Why do you have these people's lives,
Prioritized?
'That is being too patient!
Fix this and get this done quick! '
I have moments when I am completely rational.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Such As a Bad Habit
I've been on my own and alone for too long,
To know a few things about patience and life!
And those who have not had that experience...
Know very little about sacrificing their likes,
To endure putting up with unwelcomed dislikes.
There has been many things done I did,
That I disliked but tolerated.
In fact I hated going through the process.
And when I had the opportunity,
To do those things enjoyed and liked...
Not a moment did I waste in indecision.
I might have been confused...
But not crazed.
People who spend time whining,
Get on my nerves.
And I am quick to split away from them.
In mid-sentence,
If I have to do it!
I am not attracted to 'whoa-is-me' people.
My father use to tell me,
How as a child...
He had his teeth pulled,
Without novocain.
He told me this frequently...
Whenever I thought he was just around,
To make my life easier.
'Come on, Daddy!
It's just ten dollars! '
I am one of the fortunate ones,
I will admit that!
And with obstacles and setbacks...
I crawled back to get myself on track!
I wasn't about to spend my life,
Traumaticized by emotional ties!
Or gossip and lies...
Folks entertain themselves to tell!
My relationship with God...
Is close.
And we communicate very well!
God is there...
And delivers!
I don't give advice,
Or recommend what others do!
I use to...
Do that,
Often!
And ended up being screwed.
Figuratively speaking!
Even though it is still just as painful.
I've learned many lessons in my life.
And the hardest one was to forgive and forget.
At times I am visited,
With an embitterness that sits.
it takes a while to get over it.
But I am not going to soon let go of my peace of mind,
Or happiness.
Because someone wants to show and display,
Every bit of their ignorance.
With attitude seeking acceptance.
And those folks,
In some places...
Travel around in cliques.
As if what they do is fashionable.
And after one obtains a degree of consciousness...
Folks like that become easier to identify.
Such as a bad habit,
One has to end to quit...
And quick!
Like a fad that has been outdated.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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When the Testing Comes
In 1952...
I took my first steps on a stage.
The Bushnell Memorial Auditorium...
As it was called in those days.
And today in 2008,
I look back and ask myself...
What steps did I make,
I least appreciate.
And today I can honestly say...
I've been blessed in every way.
And there is not one step I've taken,
I regret.
The obstacles and challenges were not easy.
Nor having to be patient,
With those who purposedly stood on my path.
Believing I had no identity.
And I was some kind of test!
I had been for them.
And today I am still for others.
And when the testing comes...
I am not the one who fails!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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When and Where Did They Leave Behind Their Minds
I have been blessed to be in the presence...
Of those obsessed with the purchasing of things.
Themselves and what they possess.
And have them profess to me,
What 'I' could be and 'things' I could have...
IF I just put my mind to it!
So glad I endured such ignorance.
Little did they know,
I thought people like that were ridiculous.
And in time they would come to think of themselves,
That very same way.
It happens.
It pays to be observant.
What I have today and have had most of my life,
Is a sense of my own self worth.
What I have today and have had most of my life,
Is identity and self respect.
What I have today and have had most of my life,
Is my faith and gratefulness...
To know from where my blessings flow!
And the source of my insight.
And those folks...
Wouldn't leave from their doorsteps,
Without making sure their pretensions were intact.
But then again...
Times have changed!
And maybe some of them are scurrying around,
Trying to discover...
When and where did they leave behind their minds.
And what had been their purpose?
What purpose do they serve?
And how is that purpose felt?
Where is that purpose at?
Especially those clinging onto materialistic notions!
Believing themselves to be...
'Blessed and highly favored',
To have acquired positions of status.
With bling and other things to flaunt,
An eroding way of life that has them entrapped.
And I wonder...
Is 'this' a purpose?
Or is this,
A sad act!
God...
I thank You,
For showing me how to lead.
And not follow.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Therell Be Some Changes Made
W. benton overstreet / billy higgins
They say dont change the old for the new
But Ive found out that this will never do
When you grow old dont last long
Youre here today and then tomorrow youre gone
I loved a man for many years gone by
I thought his love for me would never die
He made some changes that would never do
From now on Im going to make some changes too
For theres a change in the weather
Theres a change in the sea
So from now on therell be in change in me
My walk will be different, my talk and my name
Nothin about me is going to be the same
Im goin to change my wayof livin
If that aint enough
Then Ill change the way that I strut my stuff
cause nobody wants you when youre old and gray
Therell be some changes made today
Therell be some changes made
The say the old time things are the best
That may be very good for all the rest
But Im going let the old things be
cause they are certainly not suited for me
There was a time when I thought that way
Thats why Im all alone here today
Since every one these days seeks something new
From now on Im goin to seek some new things too
For theres a change in the fashion
Ask the femine folks
Even jack benny has changed jokes
I must make some changes from old to new
I must do things just the same as others do
Im goin to change my long, tall daddy for a little short fat
Goin to change the number where I live at
I must have some lovin or Ill fade away
Therell be some changes made today
Therell be some changes made today
song performed by by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Am I Nuts Test
Before taking The Am I Nuts Test,
Do your best to be objective and prepared...
To declare 'yourself',
As crazy as a bed bug!
Why declare this?
It will be easier to take the test,
With the acknowledgement...
There had been someone who picked on a bed bug,
To proclaim and announce it crazy.
Okay?
Now you should feel open to accept,
All possibilities.
First...
Have you ever discovered yourself quick to deny,
Anything?
Think about this and be honest.
Second...
Are you afraid to be critiqued?
For any physical flaws and blemishes you keep?
Third...
Do you seek to mask your insecurities?
With a pointing out those of others...
As you desperately try to secretly hide,
Those of your own that are hidden deep?
Fourth...
Do you get up each morning,
With wishes to find someone to impress.
Without first expressing a thankfulness for your blessings?
Do you find a need to rehearse this first?
Fifth...
Are you envious and jealous,
Of those addressing with confidence their identities?
Does this irritate you to no end?
And you are convinced,
They actually are trying to run away...
From their strange and differentness.
Do you feel people like this pretend?
And you remain one of the few...
Who advocate a 'normalcy' wishing others to approve?
Well...
You 'are' nuts!
And there is no need to have the results discussed.
If you believe others are out of their minds,
With a few like you being 'normal'.
And no evidence around you to validate and find.
You 'are' nuts and out of your mind.
No one today is normal.
'What makes you qualified to administer a test like this? '
Long ago I was confirmed as being dysfunctional.
And I resisted this refusing to admit it.
But today those dysfunctional,
Seem to be the ones left who have common sense.
'So...
You too are nuts? '
No.
My preference is to stay,
As dysfunctional for as long as I can.
I find to admit it makes me more marketable.
To discover someone is nuts,
Puts a limit to their opportunities.
And...
To debate with someone about the mentalities of bed bugs,
Is way out of my league.
I enjoy my life lived as simple as possible.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To Shut Down, Turn Off and Ignore
The last time someone said to me,
I couldn't do what I enjoyed in my own hometown.
That I would have to leave to find peace of mind.
With a creative outlook I had that sought activity.
If I wished to witness success believed.
Well...
That I achieved!
And it seems so many years ago.
In a place I was told I should leave and go!
Today...
As I think of those who said,
I had to go away...
To realize those dreams I had in my head.
I think of how embarrassing it must be to feel,
To discourage someone who reveals a determination...
That proves doubters only motivate,
The whims of procrastinators.
And my mama always said to me...
'I know you aint paying me no attention,
Pretending to be listening.'
And my mama was so right.
I've developed when to shut down, turn off and ignore.
Not out of disrespect.
But rather to protect my own survival and footsteps.
Some folks are inspired by deadends.
And I must admit,
The challenge of them and what they present...
Inspires me to remove obstacles.
And I have never been able to explain that to anyone.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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An Emptiness Collected (Things)
Things,
People pray for.
Things,
People have.
Things,
All around the people.
And things they have make them sad.
Things,
They ask of God to give.
Things,
They get don't please.
And when they realize it's not things they need...
That touch that is desired and wanted,
Has come to leave...
Them!
With their things!
And a generous offering,
Felt...
Of an emptiness collected!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Where Is She
Not a single day has passed without you in mind
Lots of excuses come across as thought to find
You were never away in the past for a single minute
You were uncontrollable at home and never remained mute
Whole day passed off amidst your little noise
You were always ready for something to poise
You may venture for something and make my blood pulses up
I had no option but to remain silent and shut up
Today she is not in this lovely home
I look at door steps for her welcome
I know she may come any time and knock
I puffed more from cigars and left thick smoke
You have nice art to make me smile
You will not allow gloom to descent even for while
You may keep me engaged in lovely conversation
Remind me all the time about commitment and healthy relation
Her absence has made me totally blank
From the sun rise I have taken nothing or drank
I must admit her presence as some source of strength
Without her I am unable to adjust or take comfortable breath
I can do nothing without her being on my side
She will lean on my solder and confide
Whisper lovely and sweet words in my ears
She had made me fully dependent on her for years
Today I realize her importance when she is not here
I used to neglect everything when she was with me or near
She won’t bother me for even small things
Life at home without her is dreaded for something
Lovely home is zero without her sweet smile
I am on bed and thinking for it meanwhile
How come females have strong will power to control?
When nothing can be made available without shout call?
poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
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What Shall I Do Today?
Today,
all the events shall be taken as God's wish.
Today,
I shall love everyone.
Today,
I shall speak only truth.
Today,
I shall have pure and clean thoughts.
Today,
I shall spend the whole day in pursuit of Happiness.
Today,
i shall be polite and nice to people.
Today,
I shall not curse to anyone.
Today,
Whatever work is assigned to me shall be completed.
Today,
I shall be courteous to people.
Today,
Who ever approaches me with a problem or request shall go back satisfied.
Today,
I shall try to reform myself as much as possible.
Today,
I shall repent for all my ill deeds.
poem by Ginni Aggarwal
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Many Seek Status
To acknowledge that I 'am'
Who I 'am' and in the 'now'
Of my life!
Is for me a major achievement.
And one I live excuse free.
One based upon truth and honesty!
Many seek status.
Like an apparatus to mask.
Perhaps with hopes,
An acceptance is passed.
Or something that is approved...
As a test or a task.
If a status is proclaimed,
With wishes to keep one connected.
The time will not be long...
Until someone comes along,
To define that status wrong!
And pursued at the expense,
On one's identity...
That is compensated usually,
To eventually dispense.
To acknowledge that I 'am'
Who I 'am' and in the 'now'
Of my life!
Is for me a major achievement.
And one I live excuse free.
With a peace of mind,
I am glad to find...
Based upon truth and honesty!
And anyone who does not see it that way...
It is okay.
I am not going to debate it!
I am not in the pursuit of status!
To attract materialistic dreams.
With shine, sheen or gleam.
As a first time passenger on my journey...
I seek only God to please.
With deeds.
And a gratefulness to do so.
Many seek status!
And perhaps,
For them...
That is what God has assigned.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Clock of Life
You fought for my freedom.
I lived like a slave.
You gave your life for me.
So I could be saved.
From a life lived for myself.
More was never enough.
The things I thought made life easier.
But it just made life tough.
Keeping up with the Joneses.
Of my treasures I’d boast.
My material possessions.
Were the things I loved most.
Not the gifts that you lent me.
But the treasures I earned.
Now I see just how Satan.
Wants me to get burned.
Keep your eyes on the prizes.
Let your gifts pay the price.
For all your heart it goes into.
Holds you tight like a vice.
It will squeeze your life from you.
You’ll leave God behind.
You don’t realize that Satan.
Is robbing you blind.
Once he has taken it from you.
He will take your last breath.
And what once was a gift.
Has now become death.
He keeps you in your past.
Makes you think of tomorrow.
And this takes your today.
Time it cannot be borrowed.
For it’s all that you have.
And it is what he will take.
Til your heart is so broken.
That your spirit will break.
Life lived for your body.
Or lived for your mind.
The truths of the earth.
Keeps your spirit confined.
Your love is your time.
Your heart ticks like a clock.
And when it is over.
Your time it will stop.
When it is finished.
When you are gone.
Will your spirit die too.
Or will it live on?
Spend your time very wisely.
And in others invest.
This is what the Lord tells us.
And our Father knows best.
Live your life by your spirit.
Body and mind they will die.
One day they’ll be buried.
But your spirit will fly.
poem by Ryan Lee Morris
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People And Their Situations Do Change
If it is true you knew,
How I felt in those times...
Where were you,
To help me empty...
Those many buckets of tears,
I cried.
If it is true,
My struggles with agony...
Had been something you knew.
If it is true you knew,
Who planted obstacles on my path...
Why were you not there for me at all?
And when I reach out to you,
You dismissed me and laughed.
If it 'is' true you knew,
What I was going through...
You said nothing about it,
Until several years have passed.
And,
If it is true you knew...
Anything about me at all,
Why have you waited until today...
To appear to say,
You are experiencing your own downfall.
To what degree of an empathy,
Do expect from me...
To receive?
'People and their situations change.'
I couldn't say that any better.
I agree.
Trust me.
And that person you say you knew back then,
Has matured to improve...
On my expectations of 'friends'.
And can see people and things as they are.
With a re-arrangement done to philosophies,
Without a passing of judgement on them.
'People and their situations change.'
I couldn't say that any better.
I agree.
Trust me.
And I've been blessed with a peace,
I am going to protect and keep.
And all I can do is wish you the best.
With a peacefulness I am feeling.
Hoping one day,
The same for you will come your way.
People and their situations do change.
Of that,
I totally agree.
But an empathy from me you wish to receive...
Was not from you,
Ever given to me from you to give...
To believe you can receive.
I agree...
People and their situations do change,
A lot!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Those Into Titles
Well...
It's not like you are without options.
Remember that time,
You said to yourself...
'I wish I could just scream? '
Do it!
Scratch that off of your wish list!
'I'm so sick of the same routine! '
Comments like this...
You can now store among your memoirs!
Chances are you are finding 'that'
As a complaint.
Not today.
'You would think I was the only one in the office!
They act as if I'm the only one there half the time.'
Things are rapidly changing.
Have you called 'the office' lately?
You may discover,
No one is there on a full time basis now.
Well...
It's not like you are without options.
Remember that time,
You said to yourself...
'I wish I could just scream? '
Do it!
Scratch that off of your wish list!
I remember some years ago...
Being 'downsized'.
From a position that was being outsourced.
And offered a severance.
We were all ecstatic then!
Having never heard these terms before.
'Thank God we aren't being laid off.'
Some were heard to say.
Today...
Some folks are given two hours or less,
To clean out their desks.
And vacate the premises!
Can you imagine getting ready for work,
And the phone rings!
You answer pleasantly not wanting to be late!
You do not even say hello when you hear...
'You've been terminated.
No need to come in.
We will mail your personal things...
Plus a 'thank you' from management,
For the many years of your loyal service!
Your pink slip was mailed yesterday.
Keep your eye open!
Have a great day.'
It's been two days now.
And you 'still' have your mouth open!
Unbelieving.
Believe!
Some folks historically denied employment,
Were called shiftless and lazy.
I'm sure new terms will be introduced,
To accomodate those preferring to be considered...
As 'freelancing socialists' for a brighter tomorrow!
Those into titles.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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With Only The Ability To Waste
There was a time,
And this was not too long ago...
When those of skills and talents,
Only had a wish to share them.
To assist others in the fulfillment,
Of seeing 'their' dreams and wishes...
Come true.
With a volunteering of their efforts denied.
And...
Without a dime of payment mentioned.
But those making decisions,
Believed the ones who would want to do this...
Only sought the getting of attention.
And refusing them they did,
To ensure they were dismissed.
Today?
How things have changed.
Today there are those who are hired,
To solicit volunteers.
With the paying of expensive media advertisements,
To attract those with talents and skills to give.
And this is done with blatant attention given,
To the ones getting paid.
With only the ability to waste funding,
To achieve nothing getting done.
But say they do there is no one willing to work for free.
And these are the same people...
Publicly declaring there is no communal unity.
'We need you! '
~For what? ~
'To volunteer your skills,
As a community service.'
~And how will my doing this,
Be of benefit to you? ~
'A job that keeps me paid and something to do.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Derangement
Everyone who gets on a stage,
Believes they can act.
Then they believe they can sing.
Then dance and entertain,
Anyone captivated.
And anyone knowing what it takes...
Wish to drag those with limited beliefs,
Off the stage!
Since all of those who seek the spotlight...
Should seek someone to tell them the truth,
About their nonexisting talents!
All folks who reach for the stage are not performers.
And despite what Shakespeare stated...
'All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.'
I must admit,
I have to respect his perspective.
However...
Very few of his roles were performed by women, if any
Back then.
And on these 'stages' today...
These 'players' should have entertained exiting,
Prior to revealing their production of 'Derangement'
It is much too real!
With the acting lacking motivation that connects honestly,
With a conviction that is felt.
They just throw this stuff together today.
With no training or class involved.
However...
The chaos depicted?
THAT is marvelously convincing!
Those scenes,
Absolutely gets everyone's attention.
Everyone gets to be involved.
And that's really my kind of 'theatre'...
A 'hands-on' affair!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Looking From The Outside
I may happen to make things look that way...
But nothing I've known in my life,
Has been made for me easy.
As a child I disliked to hear folks say,
I got everything I wanted.
But they were looking from the outside.
On the inside unsolicited headaches,
Is what I got.
With chores to do that were unstoppable.
The first room I had to myself,
Was a converted closet.
And I slept on a cot.
Believe it or not...
On a street called Garden.
I may happen to make things look that way...
But nothing I've known in my life,
Has been made for me easy.
And as I age today reflecting back on those days,
People use to use others to boost themselves to heights.
By telling lies and hiding behind alibis,
To cover up their hatred felt and those they despised to spite.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Have You Ever Done That Before?
Your 'things' do not make you a better human being.
You may believe they establish you a status.
But there is something that can be said about pretense...
That leaves those hungering to spend their time,
With people who express a common sense...
From thought producing minds.
It is a rarity to find folks,
Who have not been tainted or provoked...
By teased materialistic dreams.
Or the kind of people who become identified...
By where they live and what they drive.
Living a quality of life that seems delightfully contrived.
Yet inside of them there is a frightful hollowness...
That is silently screamed,
And quietly demeaning them.
Your 'things' do not make you a better human being.
And their absence,
Also has not revealed you possess an integrity.
With your identity gone packed away with your 'things'...
And no integrity left you can display or bring,
What is it that you claim you can give to offer?
Superficiality?
Okay...
And,
What else do you have besides that?
Do you have anything we can chew on that's concrete?
How about a conversation we all can contribute.
Have you ever done that before?
Had you considered comprehending after listening,
To complete sentences...
Delivered to your assuming ears.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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