Why You So Upset?
What's a toe without a toenail?
'What's a what without a who? '
A TOE!
What is it without a toenail.
Geessshhh.
And you've got a Master's Degree.
Where did you find it?
'A toe without a toenail is one less toe to pick! '
Who told you that?
'That's obvious.'
To who?
That's one of the reasons why,
I don't like talking to you.
You take things too seriously.
I aint got time for this.
'Why you so upset? '
Like I said...
I aint got no time for this!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Chicken Lips And Lizard Hips
When i was a little kid
I never liked to eat
Mom would put things on my plate
And i'd dump 'em on her feet
But then one day she made this soup
I ate it all in bed
I asked her what she put in it
And this is what she said:
"oh, chicken lips and lizard hips
And alligator eyes
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs
And salamander thighs
Rabbit ears and camel rears
And tasty toenail pies
Stir 'em all together
And it's mama's soup surprise"
I went into the bathroom
And i stood beside the sink
I said, "i'm feeling slightly ill
And i think i'd like a drink"
Mama said, "i've just the thing
I'll get it in a wink
It's full of lots of protein
And vitamins, i think"
"oh, chicken lips and lizard hips
And alligator eyes
Monkey legs and buzzard eggs
And salamander thighs
Rabbit ears and camel rears
And tasty toenail pies
Stir 'em all together
And it's mama's soup surprise
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hollow Ones
the hollow ones
live in a hollow world,
walk a hollow path
with hollow hearts.
speaking often, never talking.
listening, but never hearing.
touching, but never feeling.
inhaling, but never exhaling.
with nothing behind their
hollow eyes.... insulated,
burning nuclear fuel
in a carbon world...
an ingrown toenail
on the foot...
of an angry God!
the hollow ones...
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mama Told Me Not To Come
Want some whiskey in your water?
Sugar in your tea?
Whats all these crazy questions theyre askin me?
This is the craziest party that could ever be
Dont turn on the lights cause I dont wanna see
Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come
She said that aint the way to have fun, son
That aint the way to have fun, son
Open up the window, let some air into this room
I think mommas chocking from the smell of stale perfume
And the cigarette youre smoking about to scare me half to death
Open up the window, let me catch my breath
Some radio is blastin
Someones knockin at the door
Im lookin at my girlfriend
She just passed out on the floor
Ive seen so many things
I aint never seen before
Dont know what it is
I dont wanna see no more
Mama told me not to come
Mama told me not to come (mama told me)
She said that aint the way to have fun, no (no, no)
That aint the way to have fun, son
Mama told me, mama told me
Mana told me, mama told me
Mama told me not to come (mama told me not to come)
That aint the way to have fun, son
That aint the way to have fun, son
That aint the way to have fun, no, son
That aint the way to have fun, son (mama told me)
Mama told me, mama told me
Mama told me, mama told me
Mama told me not to come (mama told me not to come)
That aint the way to have fun, son
That aint the way to have fun, son
That aint the way to have fun (oh no, no)...
song performed by by Tom Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If Walls Could Talk
(bobby miller)
Well, if things could talk then Im sure youd hear
A lot of things to make you cry my dear
Aint you glad [aint you glad]
Oh, aint you glad [aint you glad]
Aint you glad [glad]
Glad that things dont talk
Now, if shoes could tell where theyve been
When you say youve been visiting a friend
Aint you glad [aint you glad]
He-he-hey, aint you glad [aint you glad]
But aint you glad [glad]
Glad that shoes dont talk
Now, if doors could tell whos turned the knob
When hes away out on his job
If cars could tell whos been inside
And whos been taking you out for a ride
Aint you glad [aint you glad]
Oh, aint you glad [aint you glad]
But aint you glad [glad]
Glad that cars dont talk
In a world of trouble Id be
If things ever told on me
My whole life would be through
cause Im guilty, how about you ?
If things ever talk that way
Aint no telling what they might say
Aint you glad [aint you glad]
Oh, aint you glad [aint you glad]
Aint you glad [glad]
Glad that things dont talk
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just A Rumor
Why have they come to picket his home?
'One of them has recently discovered,
A grandmother of a neighbor...
Has an ingrown toenail.'
You can not be serious?
'Well...
It is just a rumor so far.
She's vacationing in Cancun.
And confirmation has yet to arrive.
He has claimed the current administration,
Is responsible for neglect.
And the leader...
Should be held accountable,
To allow such oversight to happen.
Claiming him to be incompetent.
The organizer for this campaign,
Is known to be proactive.
And was able to get the people commited,
'Before' the truth is actually known.
He has his eye on running for office one day.
And so far,
The people find him more than qualified.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Only Time Will Tell
Everybody says its going to take a little time
Might as well get use to her running thru my mind
Her memory brought me to my knees
When will I be back up walkin
Only time will tell but it aint talking
A lot of sleepless nights Im sure are lying up ahead
Wonder when the night will come when I lay down in bed
And her memory finally decides to stop calling
Only time will tell but it aint talking
Only time will tell when I will finally be free
But so far it hasnt spoke a single word to me
Wonder when the pain will end and all the tears will stop fallin
Only time will tell but it aint talking
Only time will tell when I will finally be free
But so far it hasnt spoke a single word to me
Wonder when the pain will end and all the tears will stop fallin
Only time will tell but it aint talking
Only time will tell but it aint talking
song performed by by Kenny Chesney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Aint No Song
There aint no melody
And I cant find a harmony
If there were a way to say it
You know I would have played it
Well, Im a man of few words
Trying to find a rhyme
And finally it occurred to me
That Im wasting my time
There aint no rhyme or reason
Aint no time or season
Aint no way around it
I know I would have found it
There aint no song in the whole wide world
Could hardly sing without you
There aint no song in the whole wide world
To tell you the way that I feel
Painters use their eyes
To show us what they see
But when that canvas dries
We all see it differently
There aint black or white
There aint no day or night
There aint no way around it
You know I would have found it
Chorus
No, no, no, I might as well pack it on up
Not even this songs gonna tell you the way that I feel
song performed by by James Taylor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ill Be Here A While
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while
Far is solace in the maddening pace
Sad state written on my face
Not a tight rope walk but dance
Uncertain game of chance
But Ill see it through in time
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while
And if a person place or thing can deliver
I will quiver with delight
Tempted by the hand that could
Blind my vision and sight
But at twenty years of age
In frolic and in rage
I will see it through in time
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Ill be here a while
But the dawn has come into the endless night
And everythings going to be alright
But at thirty years of age
Through frolic and in rage
All regressed and healed in time
Ill be here a while, aint going nowhere
Said i, said i, said i, I will survive
song performed by by 311
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That Road Has Been Traveled
That road has been traveled.
Long before your carefully placed steps.
Hesitated to test the paved,
And manicured path you take.
That road has been traveled.
And once aligned and adorned with gravel.
Rocks and other obstacles thrown.
If it seems,
I am not in sync...
With others who shower you,
Best wishes and tons of sympathy...
I am not going to do!
Because your shoes are too tight.
And an ingrown toenail bleeds and bites.
You are right!
I 'am' out of that synchronicity.
I don't want you to believe or 'think'
I am not with empathy!
I want you to 'know'...
I have none!
On you,
To spare.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mothers Daughter
Got no time for foolin with you baby
Your stupid game is about to end.
You played it out.
Thought you had it made.
And it looks like someone passed you by again.
I left her standin in her corner
She told me she was tryin to find her way.
Ive got to leave before I get much older
Cause she aint moved in nearly forty days.
Ive got a woman thats treatin me better.
She takes her time and she aint so cruel.
Ive got someone to take you over
Your mother aint so bad,
What happened to you?
song performed by by Santana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fortunate Son
Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Ooh, theyre red, white and blue
And when the band plays hail to the chief
They point the cannon right at you
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no senators son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate son
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord they dont help themselves
But when the taxman comes to the door
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no millionaires son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate son
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes
Ooh, they send you down to war
And when you ask them how much should we give ?
They only answer more! more! more!
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no militarys son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate one, no no
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate son
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fortunate Son
Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, theyre red, white and blue.
And when the band plays hail to the chief,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no senators son, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, no,
Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, dont they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no millionaires son, no.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, no.
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, lord,
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more! yoh,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no military son, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no fortunate one, one.
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no fortunate one, no no no,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no fortunate son, no no no,
song performed by by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Wont Cry For You
So you lie awake and think about tomorrow,
And you try to justify the things youve done,
But theres no one here, to hear your tears falling,
When you turn around, you find out, that youre the lonely one.
And it feels like someones treading on your shadow,
And you always thought that heaven knows for sure,
And it feels like youre drowning, in your tears.
So I wont cry for you, no I aint gonna cry for you,
And I aint gonna lie for you, no I aint gonna cry for you.
Aint gonna cry for you.
So you lie awake and think about the sorrow,
Does it really still the fears in your mind,
And you try to realise the things you wanted,
But you take it all for granted and now it makes you blind.
And it feels like someones treading on your shadow,
And you always thought that heaven knows for sure,
And it feels like youre drowning, in your tears.
So I aint gonna cry for you, no I aint gonna die for you,
And I aint gonna lie for you, no I aint gonna cry for you.
Aint gonna cry
I aint gonna cry for you, I aint gonna cry.
So I aint gonna cry for you, no I aint gonna die for you,
No I aint gonna lie for you, no I aint gonna cry for you,
Aint gonna cry, aint gonna cry for you no more,
Aint gonna die, I aint gonna die for no more,
Aint gonna lie, I aint gonna lie for no more,
Aint gonna cry, I aint gonna cry for you no more.
song performed by by Black Sabbath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Seeing Things
I find it hard to shed a tear
You brought it all on yourself my dear
Wrong, yes I may be
Dont leave a light on for me
cause I aint comin home
It hurts me baby to be alone
Yes, it hurts me baby
A hundred years will never ease
Hearing things I wont believe
I saw it with my own two eyes
All the pain that I cant hide
And this pain starts in my heart
And this love tears us apart
You wont find me bent down on my knees
Aint bendin over backwards baby
Not to please
cause Im seeing things for the first time
Im seeing things for the first time, oh yeah
Im seeing things for the first time
In my life, in my life
I used to dream
Of better days that never came
Sorry aint nothin to me
Im gone and thats the way it must be
So please Ive done my time
Lovin you is such a crime
You wont fine me down on, on my knees
Wont fine me over backwards baby
Just to please
cause Im seeing things for the first time
Im seeing things for the first time
Seeing things for the first time
Oh Im seeing things for the first time
Yeah, seeing things for the first time
Im seeing things for the first time
Yeah, Im seeing things for the first time
In my life, in my life
song performed by by Black Crowes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Aint Me, Babe
Go way from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
Im not the one you want, babe,
Im not the one you need.
You say youre lookin for someone
Never weak but always strong,
To protect you an defend you
Whether you are right or wrong,
Someone to open each and every door,
But it aint me, babe,
No, no, no, it aint me, babe,
It aint me youre lookin for, babe.
Go lightly from the ledge, babe,
Go lightly on the ground.
Im not the one you want, babe,
I will only let you down.
You say youre lookin for someone
Who will promise never to part,
Someone to close his eyes for you,
Someone to close his heart,
Someone who will die for you an more,
But it aint me, babe,
No, no, no, it aint me, babe,
It aint me youre lookin for, babe.
Go melt back into the night, babe,
Everything inside is made of stone.
Theres nothing in here moving
An anyway Im not alone.
You say youre looking for someone
Wholl pick you up each time you fall,
To gather flowers constantly
An to come each time you call,
A lover for your life an nothing more,
But it aint me, babe,
No, no, no, it aint me, babe,
It aint me youre lookin for, babe.
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One More Minute
(constant doo wops in the background throughout the song)
Aahh....
Well I heard that youre leavin (leavin)
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that Im not your kind (aahh..)
So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)
Thats right (thats right) you aint gonna see me cryin
Im glad (Im glad) that you found somebody new
cause Id rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you
I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
cause Im stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You aint (you aint) gonna break my heart in two
cause Id rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you
Id rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
Id rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, cant you see what Im tryin to say, darlin...
Id rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
Id rather clean all the bathroom in grand central station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, Id rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
Id rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
Id rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die
Than spend one more minute with you
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Aint Got No/i Got Life
(1968) gerome ragni, james rado, gal mcdermot
Aint got no home, aint got no shoes
Aint got no money, aint got no class
Aint got no friends, aint got no schoolin
Aint got no wear, aint got no job
Aint got no man
Aint got no father, aint got no mother
Aint got no children, aint got no
Aint got no earth, aint got no water
Aint got no ticket, aint got no token
Aint got no love
I got my hair, I got my head
I got my brains, I got my ears
I got my eyes, I got my nose
I got my mouth, I got my smile
I got my tongue, I got my chin
I got my neck, I got my tits
I got my heart, I got my soul
I got my back, I got my sex
I got my arms, I got my hands
I got my fingers, got my legs
I got my feet, I got my toes
I got my liver, got my blood
Got life , I got my life
song performed by by Nina Simone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Aint No Particular Way
(here it comes
Mmm, the thing about love)
Love has a way to find ya
Sneaks up right behind ya
There aint no particular way
You dont know when its gonna
Come runnin round the corner
There aint no particular way
So, dont give up (dont give up
On love till you get your share)--
Youre gonn get your share
The thing about love (the thing about
Love is its)--is that its everywhere
[chorus]
There aint nowhere it wont hide
(there aint nowhere it wont hide)
There aint no speed it wont drive
(there aint no speed in wont drive)
There aint no law it wont break
(there aint no law it wont break)
There aint no chance it wont take
There aint no, no particular way
Oh, it could come so fast it fools ya
Might take its time to move ya
There aint no particular way
It might just drift in while youre dreaming
It dont sleep, always schemin
There aint no particular way
So, dont give up (dont give up
On love til you get your share)--
Youre gonna get your share
The thing about love (the thing about
Love is its)--is that its everywhere
[repeat chorus]
You cant hide, oh
(there aint no time) it comes when you least expect it--
(there aint no day)
When you thought youd been rejected
(there aint no how)(there aint no way)
There aint no particular way
(there aint no why)
Love aint for just the lucky
(there aint no when)
Its there for everybody
(there ain no what)
There aint no particular way
(there aint no way)
So, dont give up (dont give up
On love til you get your share)--
Youre gonna get your share
The thing about love (the thing about
Love is its)--is that its everywhere
[repeat chorus (1.5x)]
(there aint no time) yeah, yeah, yeah
(there aint no day)
(there aint no how) there aint no way
(there aint no when) there aint no time
(there aint no what)(there aint no way)
Oh, there aint no way!
song performed by by Shania Twain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Funny How Time Slips Away
(words & music by willy nelson)
Well hello there,
My its been a long long time
How am I doin,
Oh well I guess Im doin fine
Its been so long now and it seems that
It was only yesterday
Mmm, aint it funny how time slips away
Hows your new love,
I hope that hes doin fine
Heard you told him, yes baby
That youd love him till the end of time
Well you know, thats the same thing
That you told me
Well it seems like just the other day
Mmm, aint it funny how time slips away
Gotta go now,
Guess Ill see you hanging round
Dont know when though, oh
Never know when Ill be back in town
But I remember what I told you
That in time your gonna pay
Well aint it surprisin how time slips away
Yeah, aint it surprisin how time slips away
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fortunate Son
Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Yeah, the red, white, and blue
When the band plays hail to the chief
Yeah, theyll point the cannon at you
It aint me, it aint me
Im no millionaires son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate one
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Well, they help themselves, yeah
When the taxman comes to the door
House looks a like a rummage sale
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no millionaires son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate one, no
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes
Yeah, when they send you down to war
Well, when you ask them how much you should give
Yeah, its always more, more, more
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no senators son
It aint me, it aint me
Im no fortunate one
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no military son
It aint me, it aint me
I aint no fortunate son
Take it away...
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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