Whenever It Decides the Moment to Arrive

It may appear,
That another's suffering and pain...
Is theirs alone to endure.

It may appear like that,
To those viewing it...
From distances believed,
Protected and safe as they sit!

And it may take years,
For what on the 'outside' to come,
And appear before those with indifferences.
But it comes unexpectedly.
Without warning.
Announcements.
Or an acceptance proclaimed with cheers.

Leaving those with indifferences regretting.
But inflicted with a grief,
That offers to them no relief.
Or a quick sedation to assist the speed of forgetting.
When a pain comes to maintain a sustained visit...
It comes,
Whenever it decides the moment to arrive!
Especially to those,
Who are without empathy.
Whether felt or not!
Or chosen to keep hidden inside!

That,
Someday...
Will be addressed.

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Indifferences

Indifferences,
We had...
Have to come to an end.

No more!
Not now...
When changes begun,
Must be given a chance...
To begin for everyone!

Not only just for you.
But for me too!
To allow what was done in the past to go!
To accept those beginnings of all things new.

It appears these changes have started to disrupt.
With a crumbling of foundations...
That frustrate and corrupt.
But...
We must and we will give those feelings up!
We are desperate need to feed and cling...
On those things,
That drove us into ruts!
Causing too many of us,
To lose our faith and hope.
And in The Almighty we claim we trust!

Indifferences,
We had...
Have to come to an end.

No more!
Not now...
When changes begun,
Must be given a chance...
To begin for everyone!
Even if they traumaticize our lives.
Those indifferences we kept to protect...
Are no longer on the agenda,
For what comes next!

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Locked Inside Her Pain

Living day to day in severe pain,
overwhelming is her pain today,
can't walk too good, for her legs hurt so.
Kind and gentle she is, through all of her pain,
even on her worst days, she always has a smile
and a kind word for those who may pass by her way.
Day after day I watch her in pain
and pray there was something I could do.

Intensely wanting to just be able to take all her pain away,
nothing I can do to help her with it.
Sweet and loving she is, her pain is sometimes unbearable.
Intense pain is what she lives with everyday.
Doctors won't give her anything for fear she may be allergic.
Each and everyday her pain becomes worse.

Hating myself because there is nothing I can do to help her,
hoping that someday they will find a cure for Fibromyalgia and tendontis,
realizing that she may never ever be pain free.
Patiently, she tries to do the things she used to do
but, once again her pain stops her from doing them.
Inside her pain she cries, for relief of her pain or maybe a cure
never getting the relief she so deserves, or wants.

Dear Lord, please take my mom's pain away,
so she will no longer be locked inside her pain
and give her the life she used to know back,
so that she can live her life a normal person without pain,
and God, please be with her every day and night
and keep her safe and warm.

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That Depends On the Enlightenment of Your Consciousness

How much more pain can you endure?
That's a good question!
How much more would you like?
Would you like that with or without an appetitizer?

You seem to prefer your suffering done,
With a full voicing of complaint.
You seem to have awaited,
The moment of its infliction.
Then you began...
A whining without constraint!

How much more pain can you endure?
How much more would you like?
When did you decide,
That an enduring of it...
Brought to you more dignity?
And enhanced your pride in others' eyes?

How much more pain can you endure?
You seem to enjoy it with cocktails.
Or at least with others,
Who feel their afflictions...
Increases a degree of a perceived patriotism!
And of course...
No end appears in sight for your noble sacrifice.

How much more pain can you endure?
That's a good question!
But I am sure,
When you begin to hold yourself accountable for it...
You will awaken to discover,
The foolishness of your decision.
And those you believed had your best interests...
Kept you in pain to obtain their own gains!

And how much of their gain,
Can you endure at your expense?
That depends on the enlightenment of your consciousness.
And your willingness to seek some answers,
When you have been detoxed from your addiction!
Without the need to martyr or bleed away,
Your right to a peace of mind...
That has obviously become no one's concern!
And this is a lesson,
You aren't the only one...
That has to learn!

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This Pain Is For You

Many things I believe for you is pain
I don't want any pain from you but I accept your pain
I'll take the pain from you forever...

Pain can be our own mistake
Pain can lead to our own troubles
Pain can lead to anything inside of us
I just need to get some help
I need you to acknowledge me to help me out of this pain

Many pains cannot be removed
Many can stay forever and ever
Many think pain isn't nothing for them
Pain is everything we learn from the outside world

You may get it someday
Someday you will see what I learn from pain
You may see me with cuts on my arms
That was pain, but this pain is what I feel inside

Love is pain too you know
Thinking about you when you probably just don't care
Pain is getting inside of me, not letting me go
I'm alone in the darkness of shadows

This pain is for you
Many things I believe for you is pain
I don't want any pain from you but I accept your pain
I'll take the pain from you forever

This pain is everything painful has it is,
Ready for everything is to be done for you
I'll be ready for your pain
Every shadows of darkness is there inside of me
Tearing me apart too, but still I hunger you

So I'll take whatever I get and even thou it may pain, I'll treasure it
Please acknowledge me, tell me about your pain and
Forever pure.

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The Depth Of Grief

The depth of grief is hard to measure
For the pain inside it that is treasures
Is so much and so bitter and hard
That everone wants it to totally discard

But one thing taht we must keep in mind
Is to always seek ways with others to be kind
No matter what we are going through
We must be honest and sincere too

And always remember these pain and grief
Are only let out and gets a relief
If they are given a chance to drop
From inside painful injured heart's top

And then all life's pain and sigh
Will leave your soul and will say goodbye
And then in your heart all pain and grief
Will not get a place, not even brief.

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Repast Celebrators

Every opportunity
Had been extended to them.
To connect, heal and mend their ways.
But this was not done.
And one by one...
To those gone,
Those chances did not come.
And one by one...
Those repast celebrators,
Came to visit!
As if to be treated...
By the sight of someone's grief.
Drink and eat and then they leave!

Every opportunity
Had been extended to them.
To connect, heal and mend their ways.
But this was not done.
And one by one...
To those gone,
Those chances did not come.
And one by one...
Those repast celebrators,
Came to visit!
As if to be treated...
By the sight of someone's grief.
Drink and eat and then they leave!

And these celebrations,
Are expected!
And not unpleasant scenes at all!
It is the only way large families can unite.
To see who they had missed...
And wished the passing of time,
Would stop...
To find each one is loved!
To find there is no spite that has been gossiped.
Inspite any distance...
That keeps them with indifferences believed.

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Something For The Pain

SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN
Something for the pain
inside me
that will never die
The pain inside me
that will never die
My heart bleeds
look at you
hiding
all the things
to endure me
I need you
here with me
breathing
wanting you
to believe me
Something for the pain
inside me
that will never die
The pain inside me
that will never die
I see you
in all of these faces
blush with shame
when I think of you
and your pale skin
I sell my soul for you
Hush Hush
never enough
never enough
The pain inside me
that will never die
Something for the pain
inside me
that will never die

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Pain for you

This pain is for you
Many things I believe for you is pain
I dont want any pain from you but I accepted your pain
I'll take the pain from you forever

Pain can be your own mistake
pain can lead to your own troubles
pain can lead to anything inside of you
you just need to get some help
you need some assistances to get you out of the pain

Many pains cannot be removed
many can stay forever and ever
many think pain isnt nothing for them
pain is everything you learn from outside world

you may get it someday
someday you will see what I learn from pain
you can see me with cuts on my arms
that was pain, everything I want is pain

Love is pain too you know
you left me alone in the outside world
pain is getting inside of me, not letting me go
I'm alone in the darkness of shadows

This pain is for you
Many things I believe for you is pain
I dont want any pain from you but I accepted your pain
I'll take the pain from you forever

This pain is everything painful has it is
ready for everything is to be done for you
I'll be ready for everyone's pain
Every shadows of darkness is there inside of me
tearing me apart to learn from you and the people

So I'll take everyone's pain away
so you can tell me about your pain and
forever pure

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Reflection of Pain...

The pain that has been bared
Was hoping for once to be shared
But it stood all alone in the dark
Waiting for a bright, new start
The pain that still stood there
Yet, no one was aware
The pain that calls for someone to see
The pain that will always be
Waiting for a miracle to happen soon in time
Waiting for success to start the climb
No one hears the cries shrieking from a distance away
When will it be the day
Where relief is absorbed by the heart
Never will pain break it apart
The pain that still calls for someone to reply
The pain that is waiting to die
This world of agony that’ll never end
The suffering and pain that seems to extend
Pain leaving no clue
Where the reflection of pain will be the only view…

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Headache

Throbbing aching
There is no grief
The never ending pain
I can't bear this any further
The hurt is too vast

The pain destroyer
Isn’t functioning
For the grief is still here

I can’t stand it anymore
My head is throbbing
The horrific annoyance
Will not vanish

I can’t endure anymore
The pain is horrendous
I may possibly
Do the impossible

I’m doing it
I can’t take if much longer
I’m going to rip my hair out
So much pain
No relief
Will it ever go away

Finally the never ending pain
Has discontinue
Now I am happy
at last I can enjoy the rest of the day
Poem Writer,
By: Jackie Thielman

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The Effects of Racism

I was once invited to participate,
In a seminar.
To discuss the effects of racism,
Conducted many miles away in an isolated
Remote area
Distanced from where the effects took place.
Near my home.
And I was to be the only Black to appear,
On this prestigious panel.

I declined the offer.
Since I felt it was ridiculous,
To remove myself away from those 'effects'
While in discussion with others,
Who kept perpetuated the acceptance
Of expressed indifferences.

Plus I had attended another affair,
At the same location...
As others listened intently,
While I explained reasons for wearing my hair
In dreads!
And if it had an affect on my identity.

I was then asked to come again,
Next time I was in the area.
As if these 'settings' would be missed,
In my life!
And those who 'sympathized' with my plight,
Would embrace my need to receive their acceptance.
With an understanding of my internal turmoil.
Which, of course, had to depress,
My sensibilities.

Yes!
Only an eyewitness experiencing this,
Would appreciate the sacrifices I make.
Living amongst those who have not been so 'chosen'
To escape from their deprived and substandard conditions.
Inflicted upon them by those less liberal of deed.

I feel so blessed to be honored,
By those 'willing' to share their comfort zones!
However...
There is something about my own environment,
That affords me the freedom to express less pretentiousness.

Although I must say this,
Being a 'victim' of those who are racists...
Has, at times, been to my benefit.

At least I know where they are coming from.
And I have been given opportunities to avoid them!
With a choice to leave them and their preceptions,
'Impressed' upon their limited consciousness.
And I,
Could leave them alone to glorify their intentions.

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Pain!

? You say that you have felt pain?
You have no idea what pain is.
Pain is hearing, 'She doesn't
like you anymore.' WHAT?
How can so much pain be caused by
someone who is so small,
so young,
so far?
Yet I tell you, I have felt pain,
pain at hearing your name
mentioned by some ignorant
person, someone who doesn't
know what you have put me
through. Pain? Yes, that is pain.
Pain is knowing that you will
never be mine, though I once would have been
wholly yours. Yours, though
you may never know it. That
also is pain- not being able to
say what I want you to hear.
This and more have you put me
through. This, and also the
torture of hearing from your
own lips- lips that I have longed
for, lips that I have loved in
my own way- that you liked
another guy.? No, I will not
call him a man, for he is not,
or else cannot be, for he loves
you. What? Now you wish to
leave him? And for me, again?
No, I am sorry, love, I cannot
and will not endure your
tortured love again. I have
felt the pain once, and I no
longer have any desire to feel
your pain again. Enjoy it, love.
Pain. Embrace it, rather than me,
for me you will not have, and now
pain is all you have?

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No Attempt of It Is Done

How deep is pain once felt and feeling?
The slightest pinch could send one to the edge.
Who is there to measure this grief?
As the one inflicted stares without relief.
How deep is understanding...
When no attempt of it is done.
And how can someone be asked to forgive...
When none of that is mentioned,
Or comes from anyone!

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With a Sweeping Away of Deep Secret Weepings

When a pain is felt,
Until a numbness appears.
Who is best qualified...
To declare the depth,
Of the hurt felt dealt.
And the healing that nears,
Of the agony one alone has to clear.
Who better is best qualified,
To feel what that is...
And how that feels from inside?

Some unfeeling this,
Expect quick steps to get over it.
As if recovery from a sorrow,
Is borrowed.
To be clocked to stop at midnight.
Not to go on beyond tomorrow.

Heartbreak no one fakes.
Even though it may seem to have gone.
The one bearing it...
Knows whether it is there or not.
To be there until it quits.
Until the feeling of it drops!
With it moving on.

When someone wounds another,
In a revenge one seeks.
Why is it accepted,
A forgiveness may be sought...
With a forgetting believed,
Has been granted and reached!

Only one can say,
When a personal pain has gone away.
And until that is expressed...
No one else can profess,
What to do and how to do it!
Or which remedy is best!
How it is applied...
And in which way to push this aside.

It is there to be felt...
Until it leaves!
And the grieving with it has gone.
With a sweeping away of deep secret weepings,
From a place they had stayed!
And all teardrops have dried.

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A Soldiers Pain

My hero he hurts
In a variety of ways
He’s inflicted with suffering
On the brightest of days

A never ending battle
Quite heartbreaking to see
A special loved one falling
please send his pain to me

Pain of war, mind,
and pain of heart
He needs a miracle
And a brand new start.

Please give me his pain
Give me his sorrow
Give me his loneliness
Not temporary, nor borrowed

I yearn for it all
If he will be free
Rid all of his turmoil
Which transferred to me

I will endure all pain
Accept it is as love
My treasured gift
I pray to you above

I beg you St. Jude
Patron of hopeless causes
Release his pain to me
I’ll accept any clauses

I love him deep down
In ways I don’t understand
I need him to be free
miracle PLEASE take his hand

I would be so honored
If you’d transfer to me
His many years of pain
and see him set free.

I love you my hero
And I long to feel
You in a pain free life
boasting a sky of teal.



I

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Dark Trinity

Said I to Pain: "You would not dare
Do ill to me."
Said Pain: "Poor fool! Why should I care
Whom you may be?
To clown and king alike I bring
My meed of bane;
Why should you shirk my chastening?"
Said Pain.

Said I to Grief: "No tears have I,
Go on your way."
Said Grief: "Why should I pass you by,
While others pay?
All men must know the way of woe,
From saint to thief,
And tears were meant to overflow,"
Said Grief.

Said I to Death: "From ail and fret
Grant me relief."
Said Death: "I know you are beset
By Pain and Grief.
But my good will you must await
Since human breath
To suffering is consecrate,"
Said Death.

Said I to God: "Pale Sister Grief,
Bleak Brother Pain,
Bedevil me beyond belief,
And Death's unfain . . ."
Said God: "Curse not that blessed Three,
Poor human clod!
Have faith! Believe the One with Me,"
Said God.

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Art of Pain

Whether physical, whether emotional
Whether healed completely, whether leaving scar
Whether obvious, whether hidden well
Pain is the world of nightmare

Whether mild, whether severe
Occasionally hurt, or continue disturbing
Whether acceptable risk, whether unwelcome trouble
Pain is the word of torment

By accident, by sacrifice
By breaking bad, by doing right
Struck by grief, intensified by guilt
Pain is the level of endurance

Loved for angst, hated for weakness
The pleasure for S, the need for M
Whether understood, whether denied
Pain is an honest friend

In the body, in the heart
In trying to tend, or just watching
In the cry, in the smile
Pain is the fight of will

The mortal call, the life sign
The spring of fear, the revenge promise
The aching feeling, the play of darkness
Pain is the edge of sanity

Wishing the end of this suffering
Wondering the cause of this bitterness
Is it strength or is it quicksand?
Pain is a miserable thing

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Ruins

My heart - do not ask me
Where love is,
It may have been a river of compassion, and it dried.
It may have been a castle of imagination, and it collapsed.
It may have been a history of a never-ending grief.

Oh heart!

Never forget when you tempted me
With sweet emotions -
That saved me,
Like an extended hand
Through raging waves,
Saving the drowned.

Let us drink upon its ruins
As long as the tears keep flowing,
And fly above its remains
As a bird chanting his pain.

Someday,

Our tears may refill the river,
Our pain may rebuild the castle,

And,

Our future may be grief-free.

*

Someday!
Someday!
Someday!
Someday!

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Gone To Forget To Leave

There are those who may choose to die.
For whatever reason...
Eyes are wanting to feel,
A realness and not a friction to absorb.
When platters of gold filled deceit,
Offer nothing else to be fed....
With a side order of sincerity seen,
Or felt to mention.

'Gone to forget to leave'

And the feasting of this is encouraged.

Until dishonesty is all that one dreads.
With a wish to numb the head,
From the stirrings that occur from truths.
And although the eating of deceit weakens,
On a daily basis when that addiction eats...
A cry goes unheard.
A sickening overwhelms...
And,
A wish to be released from it increases.

'Gone to forget to leave'

An encouraged emotionally abandoned mind...
Feeds until the peace of eternal rest has come,
Of what is wished.
And with a consciousness,
Desperately wanting transistion now a mission...
But never accepted to come from one so...
Talented and gifted!

But hurting from a place...
No one took the time to touch to get to know,
And so much pain was inside hiding.

And what was known to God,
Has joined the stars awaiting.
Pain was inside hiding.
Pain was inside hiding.

And what was known to God,
Has joined...
With the others worthy.

Pain was inside hiding.
Pain was inside hiding.

And what was known,
To God...
Has joined,
Eternity!

Goodbye to pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
No more pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone is pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
There's no pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone...
Pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone...
Pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
Gone...
Pain inside there hiding.
Pain inside there hiding.
There's no pain inside there hiding,
Gone.
Gone to forget to leave.
That pain inside there hiding!
Gone to forget to leave.
That pain inside there hiding!
Gone to forget to leave.
There's no pain inside there hiding.
Gone to forget to leave.
Gone to forget to leave.
There's no pain inside there hiding.
Gone.
Gone to forget to leave.
Gone.
Gone to forget to leave.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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I Want to Forget You

I want to forget you
I feel completely defeated
I want to forget you
Like you never existed
Yet you still haunt me out of the blue

I am trapped in a loop
Addicted to you the cook-a-hoop
Sweet and sour you are by the hour
Forgetting you seems beyond my power
Unexpectedly you still torment me for true

Those times we had that were passionate
When time itself seemed completely endless
Kisses between us brewed amongst many a love debate
While our body to body embraces bore life to gladness

But I want to forget you
Start my life anew

But I want to forget you
And find a love that is true

But I want to forget you
For that moment is now due

I want to forget the smiles and tears
And all the blissful months and years
When we built lovely castles in the air
Constantly bathing in a loving atmosphere

I want to abandon you in my house of thoughts
I want to dissolve you in my liquidated vein
No pain- no gain is insane
A sentimental nonsense of the brain

I want to forget you!
I want to forget you!
Like the night forgets the sun
Erase away our memories of fun

If only you knew
The pain I felt once we were through
In you my heart once rejoiced
Now forgetting you is not a choice


(2007)

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