Unmistaken Consciousness
The last of many tears came to fall.
To undo acknowledged sorrows...
Selected and picked,
To wallow away in self pity.
And this discovery was a relief...
For one who thought of tomorrow,
As a connection of borrowed miseries.
Until the stopping of this,
Revealed a life unlived!
Ignored!
And driven to please...
Others.
And the doing of this is done,
By the one giving too much attention...
To self addictions.
Like a habit introduced by another,
To leave one hooked...
Seeking an acceptance.
And those afflictions are difficult to identify...
When the crying of sighs,
Feel so good with a foolishness felt!
Until that day eventually comes...
That awakens one with an unmistaken consciousness.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
When a Consciousness Begins to Lift
When a consciousness begins to lift...
To leave behind foolishness that exists.
There seems to be an acceptance of it.
As if one realizes,
A birth has been committed.
When a consciousness begins to lift...
A release of limitations,
Easily takes a shift.
No longer is one concerned,
About winning conflicts with enemies burned.
When a consciousness begins to lift...
It becomes easier to observe,
Those disturbed and their afflictions addicted.
Enjoyed and unrestricted.
When a consciousness begins to lift...
It is best to rest.
And let it accept the truth,
That comes with it.
When a consciousness begins to lift...
Expect a shock and some loneliness.
When a consciousness begins to lift...
Those experiencing this,
Are left to feel estranged!
Alienated,
From that...
Which one had thought,
Was sane!
When a consciousness begins to lift...
Enjoy it as a gift.
Unveiling an abundance of understanding.
Connecting a peace that can be reached.
With a wish to share and treat.
When a consciousness begins to lift...
From those taught they should live,
With lives accepted in self defeat!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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To Pay Particular Attention
A spoiled mixed up brew.
Left to sit to boil hot!
That's what I thought,
Of myself...
A lot!
A life I randomly got.
And not selected.
Not one that was picked,
To witness experiences...
In time I would digest.
And as I grow older,
I am coming to grips with this...
On being 'picked' and 'selected' business.
Realizing a 'randomness' is not the lives we live.
And I am not going to lie...
I do often wonder 'why'?
Since I will admit,
I do test and try my Creator's patience.
In the hopes to be punished...
To pay particular attention,
As to how the Creator goes about...
Inflicting this,
Upon my more aware consciousness!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Wallowings
I am in the Wallowing-
there I find my best and worse.
Pity-Wallow is where I focus
all on my self and go inward
for long moments of pity-filled indulgence of self.
Sorrow-Wallow allows me to grieve
on my own terms, yet not really suffer
too much.
Wallow-Defeats are my best
and where I re-learn over and over again
not to regret.
Good Wallow where I learn lessons
over and over again-
Down is the best way Up;
Out is the best way Back:
Wallow-Defeat is the path to Happiness-
if you Wallow quietly and accept
that a Good Wallow is where you
plan for the Wallow-Through
not stop and rest amid your Wallowings.
As my Mother used to say:
'Cry and Wallow that's ok
but use the time to plan to get
back on your feet again.'
A good Wallow is a terrible thing to waste.'
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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The-Woe-Is-Me-Syndrome
I can relate to being deeply depressed.
Emotionally drained,
And mentally stressed.
I can relate to those who drink and smoke pot.
Walking somewhere and remembering I had driven,
And forgot.
And then couldn't find the car I parked...
Or remember its color!
I have been there!
But 'the-woe-is-me-syndrome'...
I did not apply to my life like some.
Some people are there like they belong.
They dance the same routine and sing the same tired song!
It is as if whatever possible thing on Earth can happen...
Does
But just to them.
And they seek to wallow away in their grief.
Wishing to share it with whomever they meet.
And it gets difficult to express a sincere empathy in their need.
Because they will take it and keep it fresh.
Without making an attempt...
To get over their sorrows.
Or the ones collected that they have borrowed.
They do not wish to address their agonies at all.
They wish to keep them as if visitors.
Making them welcomed until they do not leave!
Hoping no one notices...
They have become too comfortable,
In their pity party where time kept has stalled.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Borrowed Time
When I was younger
Living confusion and deep dispair
When I was younger ah hah
Living illusion of freedom and power
When I was younger
Full of ideas and broken dreams (my friend)
When I was younger ah hah
Everything simple but not so clear
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Now I am older
The more that I see the less that I know for sure
Now I am older ah hah
The future is brighter and now is the hour
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Good to be older
Would not exchange a single day or a year
Good to be older ah hah
Less complications everything clear
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
Living on borrowed time
Without a thought for tomorrow
song performed by by Lennon John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Marriage Made In Heaven
I've had many divorces in my life.
Two of which were legal.
My eyes have cried so many tears,
Over the past years...
To eventually view through them clearly,
Was a gift I doubted I could accept.
That's how often I wept!
And then one day,
I was introduced to my life!
To say there is no such thing,
As falling in love overnight?
I discovered within seconds,
That was a lie!
Not only did a peace of mind come with it,
That felt so right...
I knew this to be a marriage made in heaven.
I've had many divorces in my life.
Two of which were legal.
And then one day,
I was introduced to my life!
Not only did a peace of mind come with it,
That felt so right...
I knew this to be a marriage made in heaven.
And I vowed I would remain honest,
And devoted!
Although I must admit...
I am still making attempts to rid myself,
Of those annoying habits.
You know...
Those self indulgences,
That can addict?
Like the smoking of cigarettes...
I just can't seem to quit!
But...
I am dealing with the consciousness of it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Giving In (feat. Adema)
This song is by Linkin Park & Adema
Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in ... to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
I look forward, to dying tonight
Drink till i'm myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving in
Giving in now!
Take me under
(I'm killing all the pain)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all this faith)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the pain)
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
song performed by by Linkin Park
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Yours Forever
Here we are in the grays of winter,
Here we are just me and you,
Hold my hand,
Lets face tomorrow,
Tomorrow still holds out its hands to you
This precious time we've only borrowed,
The autumn winds have blown on through,
A quiet thought will tell our story,
Tomorrow still holds out its hands to you
Yes tomorrow still holds out its hands to you
Here some wings,
There yours forever,
And heres some dreams,
That will come true,
Take these tears, to wash away your sorrows,
Tomorrow still holds out its hands to you,
Yes tomorrow still holds out its to you,
Yes tomorrow still holds out its hands to you
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Their Time To Do Has Been Done
Those who have made their false appearances,
Need not to be mentioned with a giving to them...
That kind of attention.
Their time to do has been done.
With a doing to others that has been shown...
To leave what has been exposed,
Eventually known.
Their time to do has been done.
With a doing not soon to undo...
That proves there has been any integrity intended.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Identify
Your eyes, they send me
to eternity
your heart may cast me down,
to hell
again
But lately its your love,
its condemnation enough
Identify
Please Identify
If its me you want,
standing by your side
Identify
these tears of mine,
Am I lonely?or am I just alive?
And what is time, to say
Who and why the test of love,
your hands were speaking "no"
I felt the movement go
the ice was breaking,
so
I wondeer why
that I'd
identify with you
my life
Leave me empty and see if I survive
For every questioned hour,
For every second devoured
You let me wonder you
into a myth
that I
missed
Identify
Please indetify
if its me you want,
standing by your side
Identify
These tears of mine
Am I lonely? or am I just alive?
Am I lonely? or am I just alive
song performed by by Natalie Imbruglia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Borrowed
borrowed shirts, borrowed shoes,
borrowed books, borrowed thoughts,
borrowed bed, borrowed lover,
borrowed dreams, borrowed salt.
borrowed children, borrowed mothers,
borrowed study, borrowed lives.
borrowed God, borrowed heaven,
borrowed killers with borrowed knives.
borrowed flags, borrowed lies,
borrowed virtue, borrowed freedom.
borrowed bombs, borrowed bullets,
borrowed puppets, borrowed kingdoms.
borrowed soup bowls, borrowed numbers,
borrowed tents, borrowed bridge.
borrowed hope, borrowed survival,
borrowed till it's sacrilige!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Consciousness is a phase of mental life which arises in connection with the formation of new habits. When habit is formed, consciousness only interferes to spoil our performance.
quote by W.R. Inge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In My Mind! All This Time
Your per-son-ality...
Was not just picked from any litter.
Your dig-ni-ty...
Is of the best I've ever seen.
You are so far from routine,
And it gets so hard to leave...
The matter of affection I feel.
That matter of affection felt.
Your Per,
Son...
Ality!
Was not just picked from any litter.
And your,
Dig...
Ni,
Ty! ?
Is of the best I've ever seen.
Your personality...
Is wha'ts delivered.
From a giver of love and liberty!
Your per-son-ality...
Was not just picked from any litter.
Your dig-ni-ty...
Is of the best I've ever seen.
Your per-son-ality...
Was not just picked from any litter.
Your per-son-ality...
Was selected to give as a gift!
That per-son-ality...
Was not just picked from any litter.
Your per-son-ality...
Is the kind to stay in one's mind!
And you have remained,
In my mind!
All this time!
Because...
The matter of affection I feel.
And,
That matter of affection felt.
And you have remained,
In my mind!
Because...
The matter of affection I feel.
And,
That matter of affection felt.
And you have remained,
In my mind!
All this time.
Because...
The matter of affection I feel.
And,
That matter of affection felt.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Just A Slave
Just a slave and hooked with addictions.
And chased with a wish to escape,
From those habits fed.
Those habits inside a head...
Independent in thought.
But dependent instead.
Just a slave and hooked,
To all that is that has been known.
To all that has been shown and is...
Makes the escape,
Seem an impossibility to free from needs.
And those beliefs fed to feed one fleeing.
Just a slave and hooked with addictions.
And chased with a wish to escape,
From those habits fed.
Those habits inside a head...
Independent in thought.
But dependent instead on what one's mind,
Has been taught to seek.
And branded to lust for those temptations.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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With Acceptance As If Selected
Too convenient has been made a dropping that exists,
Of one's responsibilites on the shoulders of others...
To allow and permit.
Too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
And too convenient are agreements,
Deciding to this.
With a leaving those in silence,
If they choose to resist.
Too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
And too convenient are agreements,
Deciding to this.
With acceptance...
As if selected.
Too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
Of one's responsibilites on the shoulders of others...
To allow and permit.
Just too convenient has it been made,
To do this and dismiss.
And too convenient are agreements,
Deciding to this.
With acceptance...
As if selected.
With a giving up of time as if no one should mind.
And with acceptance...
As if selected.
With a giving up of time as if no one should mind.
And with acceptance...
As if selected.
With a giving up of time as if no one should mind.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Undo The Right
(willie nelson/hank cochran)
If you cant say you love me say you hate me
And that you regret each time you held me tight
If you cant be mine forever then forsake me
If you cant undo the wrong
Undo the right
It was right when you loved me only
But wrong when you held another tight
So before you go away and leave me lonely
If you cant undo the wrong
Undo the right
Its too late to say your heart is filled with sorrow
You cant undo whats done
Why do you try
So please so I can face the new tomorrow
If you cant undo the wrong
Undo the right
Its too late to say your heart is filled with sorrow
You cant undo whats done
Why do you try
So please so I can face the new tomorrow
If you cant undo the wrong
Undo the right
If you cant undo the wrong
Undo the right
song performed by by Wade Hayes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tears
Tears...
Dry them!
Do it now!
You've spent enough time,
Giving grief your attention!
I shed them myself.
Not for hours, days or weeks!
But years!
That's all I could do!
That's all I felt my eyes were in my head,
To produce!
I realized my tears were not being felt,
By anyone else but myself.
I could not borrow empathy for my sorrows.
I dried those tears.
Took smiling lessons.
Believed I could fly...
Until I fell off the curb from a high,
I thought I enjoyed.
But 'weed' does not last too long!
I asked myself what was wrong?
It was me!
I could not believe it!
I had wanted to believe my tears came from something...
OR someone else.
But...
They were rolling down 'my' eyes.
And that agony was mine!
It wanted me more than I wanted it!
I got rid of it!
I became my friend!
My 'best' friend!
And like all good friends...
I learned to enjoy myself.
I learned that my happiness was deserving!
I began serving myself dosages of happiness...
On a daily basis!
Tears?
You can shed them if you want!
But I am willing to bet,
You'll be doing it by yourself!
And if you're happy doing it?
Be thankful.
Celebrate!
However...
If you find yourself delivering tears?
Find out 'who' is behind the production.
And 'why' you are left to pay the cost!
Such performances are usually not worthy,
Of the price paid!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Part Of Life, That is
Few get to sit in the midst of it.
Part of life that is.
With the giving of opinion and the giving of lip.
Part of life that is.
Few get to sit in the midst of it.
Part of life that is.
With the giving of opinion and the giving of lip.
Part of life that is.
Stuck with sticking emotions felt in my gut...
Unable to abandon them.
Or give them up...
Had been a place I'd been,
Back then.
With no one but myself...
And faith,
To help me slowly break away...
Of a hold I had on them to mend.
Few get to sit in the midst of it.
Part of life that is.
With the giving of opinion and the giving of lip.
Part of life that is.
I have learned to feel grief deeply,
Where it is felt.
Let it visit.
And then from it to leave!
Not to forget the process...
But to breathe!
Remembering...
With an agony upon my letting go,
Knowing what I felt was painful...
It was also,
Part of life!
A part of life,
That is!
Few get to sit in the midst of it.
Part of life that is.
With the giving of opinion and the giving of lip.
Part of life that is.
Few get to sit in the midst of it.
Part of life that is.
With the giving of opinion and the giving of lip.
Part of life that is.
Few get to sit in the midst of it.
Part of life that is.
With the giving of opinion and the giving of lip.
Part of life that is.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Vivid Clarity: These Steps I Take
It is the 'who' in me pursued.
Appearing as I do before you...
Without references!
Either those accepted or dismissed.
And depending on your beliefs...
I was 'somewhere' in the heavens,
And 'asked' for this existence.
Whether or not that is true,
I am going to do my best...
To ensure my presence has been felt.
Suggestions given may come after I ask.
I am not seeking charity,
From those on goodwill missions...
Out to prove they have been chosen,
To condition minds...
With a conformed environment as the agenda.
'Peace my brother!
Have you been introduced to the Lord? '
These steps I have taken,
Were made on scraped knees and bruised feet.
Faith, hope and confidence arrived...
To discover me in doubt.
I ain't there no 'mo!
Vivid is my clarity.
These steps I take...
Only God knows what it took to make them.
Yes...
I know the Lord.
If you knew Him you would not have asked me that.
Vivid is my clarity.
These steps I take...
Only God knows what it took to make them.
Yes...
I know the Lord.
If you knew Him you would not have asked me that.
However,
I can tell by your eyes,
This is a fresh discovery?
With a desire to share!
And, I have been there.
I was born to chew, digest and enjoy the scenery!
Not to be caught up and lost in it.
Or bleed dramatically in public.
Without sound of applause.
I use to be shocked...
By the lack of sincere empathy unseen.
Observe. Experience. Feel!
And leave behind appropriate recommendations.
That is my assignment.
Someone, somewhere...
Will eventually find themselves exploring life,
Oppose to hoping for clues to magically appear...
Out of thin air.
With vivid clarity,
Are those steps I take!
And I didn't just awaken.
I began chipping away at obstacles,
When it became apparent...
My tears would not dissolve them!
Observe. Experience. Feel!
And leave behind appropriate recommendations.
That is my assignment.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Crying
Some nights I go to bed Crying,
Those were the days I was really hurting.
I was never a fan of weeping,
Yet it was my solution to get what I was yearning.
I cried long tears in the darkness,
Because I did not want anyone to pity on my softness.
Always told crying was a sign of weakness.
Crying reminds me that I am human.
And it is okay to go through the emotions.
I cry when I am hurting,
I cry when I am mad,
The obvious one is when I am down and out and feeling sad.
The night is my sanctuary, the place where I can hide,
In the dark is when I cry.
I can feel the tears slowly trickling down my eyes,
Only then crying is the best thing that give an honest description of what I feel inside.
Crying is my release too difficult to say what is on my mind.
I cry because there is nothing I can say or do.
Feeling so powerless, so not in control.
I cry and it is true.
I am not super woman nor am I a super human.
I always try to avoid it,
But most times I can not help it.
I cry.....
poem by Anita Khelawan
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