This Is Going To Be A Long Ride
My observations are never premeditated.
With a plan to only accept that which I believe.
I experience a witnessing,
As a student willing to learn.
I take notes whether mental or written.
And free myself from regurgitating quotes,
To whisper into ears to then leave.
I'm not like that.
What I describe is viewed with my eyes.
And what I hear is seldom my own sentiments.
Although when I see something that should be clear,
But to others it is not as it appears...
I wonder when my delusions have ended.
And how many conscious aren't aware when they start.
I'm not like that either.
Could we all be confused,
And refuse to accept we've been abused and neglected...
By our own delusions?
Could we all be wishing what we witness isn't what it is.
To admit what is does exist without the benefit of our wishes?
Could my observations perceived as not being premeditated,
Be, in fact, a comforting of a trap...
My mind extends to enhance my comprehension?
Or...
Could I just be needing rest and have yet to confess,
I can use as much of it as I can get?
'Yes! '
I'm sorry.
I am having a personal self assessment.
Am I disturbing you?
'Yes.
I am hoping your 'self-assessment'...
Soon ends as to not to further prolong,
My 'already' too long bus ride.
But who knows...
Maybe I am confused AND deluded! '
I apologize.
I didn't realize I was speaking that loudly.
'No problem.
I do the same thing myself.
At home.
Alone.
When I'm seeking an intelligent conversation.'
Oh.
I agree with you.
This is going to be a long ride.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Related quotes
Mental
Its like Im dressed up in my mothers clothing
Its like Im talking to a voice that doesnt exist
Its like I got a wire crossed upstairs
But all I want is just a little truth and thats it
They say Im mental but Im just confused
Thay say Im mental but Ive been abused
They say Im mental cause Im not amused my it all
Another anchor man is on the t.v.
Hes got that far away and vacant look in his eyes
I turn the channel but nothings changing
The only truth is that everythings a lie
They say Im mental but Im just confused
Thay say Im mental but Ive been abused
They say Im mental cause Im not amused my it all
Theres truth in everything
Theres truth in lies
With all this knowledge
I think Im gonna be wise
They say Im mental but Im just confused
Thay say Im mental but Ive been abused
They say Im mental cause Im not amused my it all
Not at all
Not at all
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Creator's Tests
A boldness to live escapes them.
Afraid to offend they are.
A fantasized existence is persisted,
And subdues.
A truth eludes their presence.
In an unhappiness they reflect.
Too much of it has confused.
A stubbornness has created their mental illness!
A truth within them is abused.
A deluded frame of mind they protect.
As if this is not revealed and viewed.
And they pray to God to keep their visions.
But what God decides they neglect!
They wish God to listen to them and their desires.
But they give Him no respect.
They choose to keep their eyes closed tight.
Hoping a miracle will come to remove their regret!
They want their insights to be classified as best.
Believing they are The Creator,
Instead of The Creator's tests!
They leech upon the Earth as pests.
And this they can not accept.
But they are.
We all are in this illusion!
This illusion is evolving.
It does not rest!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Elated To Have Been Distanced
From which side are those with kept delusions,
Would 'they' say are most difficult to view?
Those on the side witnessing their values diminished,
By the ones they've entrusted to keep them endeared?
Or the ones advocating the others to be fools,
To dismiss those standards hyped as reality...
When both sides refuse to accept reality as it appears,
With a denying of its existence?
And those censored as nonconformists,
Who continue to offend them with truth...
Are defamed on a daily basis,
For their attempts to introduce truth to them.
From which side are those with kept delusions,
Would 'they' say are most difficult to view?
When both sides refuse to accept reality as it appears,
With a denying of its existence?
And those censored as nonconformists,
Sing their praises to be the ones isolated...
To view all of this from a higher consciousness.
And elated to have been distanced.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Am In Total Agreement With Your Assessment
I am in total agreement with your assessment.
It is difficult to live with limited funds.
Budgeting to pay for shelter, food and utilities.
I am in total agreement with your assessment.
It is difficult to witness others live being deprived.
While their lives are being ignored.
And/or exploited in a hussle to keep them needy.
I am in total agreement with your assessment.
So many now are forced to descend from high horses.
And getting a taste for the first time,
How life is lived without good credit scores.
Or multiple opportunities coming to knock at their doors.
I am in total agreement with your assessment.
Very few are not so quick to pass judgement these days.
And knowing from my own experience...
How to remove myself from someone stunned.
Learning they too have become shunned and 'thumbed'
By the very same ones they supported,
At the expense of their own inhumanity.
I am in total agreement with your assessment.
But do not believe,
I am here empathetic and prepared to embrace your pain.
I've already been numbed by your reaction to mine.
I see nothing in that to aid my benefit with gain.
Like I said...
I am in total agreement with your assessment.
It is so vivid.
As if I'm still living it with too much acceptance.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Dreams of Freedom
Call me what you wish,
I am not the one doing evictions.
Or removing dreams as they exist.
Say whatever you like.
My eyes are not fixed on a high flying kite.
Or riding a bike licking icecream cones.
My observations,
Aren't from the mind of a negative pessimist.
My way of life has not been diminished.
By disconnected insights,
Denying what appears as obvious blight.
It is what it is!
Argue if you like.
But it wont be with me.
My mind is not fixed to delusions like yours.
Nor am I conditioned to dismiss those in pain.
There is nothing in it for me to gain,
To witness others in agony.
Call me what you wish,
I am not the one doing evictions.
Or removing dreams as they exist.
Too many excuses from you allowed this.
And this I see as your denials allowed to breathe.
But I wont permit them to walk on my path.
Nor will you do to me as you please.
As was done in your ancestors past.
Those strategies may work for 'them'.
I'm not feeding on 'dreams of freedom'.
And this I am sure you can plainly see.
Those thoughts don't have their hooks in me.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Clairvoyant
Of course...
I'll do anything to enhance your peace of mind.
And as long as we aren't near each other,
That should be easy enough to do!
I would think.
In fact...
That is on my agenda right now!
I bet you are clairvoyant?
You perceived I wished the same thing.
At the same time.
Didn't you?
And 'they' say we should not be together,
As a couple.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Wisdom
I've been accused of having wisdom.
And I smile and ask...
'When did that happen?
I felt like such a jerk in my past.'
I stumbled and fell,
Got up to fall again.
I wasn't afraid to make mistakes.
Nor did I have thoughts on my mind to win!
I wanted to do those things I was born to do.
I didn't listen much to anyone...
Who believed I was confused.
Since they had no clue of my desires...
I didn't feel there was anything I had to prove.
I've been 'me' all my life.
Who else could I be?
I've had some heartaches,
And suffered tremendously!
I've learned to forgive and let live.
A lesson I'm happy I have finally conceived.
I guess what others 'see' is a tolerance...
That came with a maturity.
I have had long bouts with immaturity no doubt.
And I've been wise enough not to let my flaws upset.
I've accepted who I am...
And eliminated regret.
I am not yet perfect.
Whatever that means.
However...
I am blessed that I am aging.
And still wishing to do my best.
If there is any wisdom attached to that...
Anyone is welcome to share it.
And we will both be amazed...
How a wisdom described as it is today,
Developed from events I thought were awful...
Mind altering and crazy days!
But...
I will accept your assessment.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Wake Up Call
Wake up call?
What wake up call,
Is going to cause someone to perform...
Premeditated cowardly acts?
What wake up call,
Is going to snap the mind of someone,
Prepared to attack with a striking back!
Derogatory name calling to shame another,
Is kid's play.
A childish display of one's desire to have things,
Done their way...
To produce attention without seeking comprehension.
With an excuse to use...
Is a refusal of common sense.
With a follow through one chooses,
To retaliate like most fools do.
Wake up call?
What wake up call,
Is going to cause someone to perform...
Premeditated cowardly acts?
Like a thumb sucking child,
Growing up to fantasize delusions as facts.
And a mind like that...
Has been conditioned to react.
That's all!
With a wish to prove an undoing of rules.
No matter what one believes is cruel...
And unusual punishment suffered!
Instead of moving to a better situation.
And let thought and time,
Find less explosive solutions.
However...
Conditions as they are,
One can be pushed too far.
And conversations are barred...
For that one who has developed a taste,
To destruct and destroy.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Encore: Foreplay/Long Time, Free Ride
Daytona Beach y'all want some more?"**
"We're gonna take you back in time Daytona."
**Foreplay/ Long Time**
It's been such a long time
But I think I should be goin', yeah
Cause time doesn't wait for me, but it keeps on rollin'
So Sail on, on a distant highway
Well I've got to keep on chasin' a dream
But I've gotta be on my way
Well I guess there is nothing left to say.
Well I'm takin' my time, I'm just movin' along
You'll forget about me after I've been gone
And I take what I find, I don't want no more
It's just outside of your front door.
It's been such a long time, It's been such a long time. Yeah
**Free Ride**
The mountain is high, now the valley is low.
And if you are confused on which way to go.
So Rascal Flatts is here to lend you my hand
And lead you into the Promise Land.
So come on and take a free ride. (Free Ride)
Come on and take me my by my sides ya
Oh come on and take a free ride. (Free Ride)
(Daytona take one with us)
All over the country, Said there is nothing the same.
And if nobody is winning yea this kind of game.
We gotta do better,Say its time to give in.
You know all the answers................
So come on and take a free ride. (Free Ride)
Come on and take me by my sides yea.
Come on and take a free Ride.
Well Im taking my time.
Yes I'm just taking my time.
Yes Im taking my time.
Im just taking my time.
**Daytona you better hold on cause here they come**
**We hope y'all enjoyed Free Ride**WOOOOOO
**Daytona That Rides On Us**
song performed by by Rascal Flatts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Proud To Exist To Witness Possibilities
I am glad I represent a generation aging.
With an acceptance to reminisce and reflect,
Upon the times I have been blessed to remember.
I am glad to be able to think with a thought process,
That connects with a wish to daily adventure.
And welcome a maturity I have earned.
With all that being conscious of it has to offer.
Although I will admit,
A loneliness when so many are dismissing...
There are phases of life that should be natural.
And understood with observations undenied.
And moving forward instead of backwards.
Or remaining down to earth unchanged.
As many aging with their delusions intact,
Would like to claim with a sameness of sanity.
But isn't that what stagnation is?
A stubbornness that is fixed in place.
With ways that begin to collect ignored dust.
And being stagnant and stale, unchanged...
Is something I don't consider fresh or impressive.
Or sparkles as if proud to exist to witness possibilities.
Not if one is to grow and experience what life is.
Or come to realize this adventure isn't here to last forever.
I am glad I represent a generation aging,
With an acceptance.
I am glad to be able to think with a thought process,
That connects with a wish to daily adventure.
And welcome a maturity I have earned.
With all that being conscious of it has to offer,
As a life I have learned to live...
To appreciate, explore and not take for granted.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Through My Ardent Prayers
With a discipline kept in practice.
And assisted through my ardent prayers.
I am there within a mental seclusion.
I am there aware and devoted...
Feeling blessed each day!
Although I am tested to accept,
And manifest delusions.
My best is tempted to slide at times.
When my mind becomes bombarded,
With teases I taste.
Most times easy to find.
I admit it can be difficult,
To break away from my human lusts.
But a faith I maintain...
To help me refrain from such temptations.
And I grow to trust,
That I can and must endure.
As long as I know my quest made is pure...
From doubt and confusion,
Induced with desires I can refuse to embrace.
I can face darkened shadows.
And replace the clouds with Sun to shine.
It is through my ardent prayers,
I dare to strengthen on my journey.
In a haste not wasted on yearnings...
To undo mistakes I can make sometimes.
But learn I do with each step I take,
I can choose whatever it is I wish.
And I wish to be free to be me...
Unafraid,
To expose my imperfections.
Or show I can heal,
From blemishes revealed.
It is through my ardent prayers,
I dare to strengthen on my journey.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Slaps On Aging Wrists
A society that initiates its own dilemmas,
And questions the mistakes it makes...
By seeking an escape from accountability.
Those they wish could be erased.
Has more than the ability to be self righteous,
On its side.
It also has a population unable to face,
The definition and meaning of maturity.
And the lack of it,
Has that society trapped in a childish mindset.
Hoping misdeeds will not receive,
No more than slaps on aging wrists!
'Your assessment is appalling! '
Tell me about it.
You have no idea how my observations,
Disgust me as well.
And...
We are all in the same boat.
Now isn't that a coincidence?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Didn't Express That Assessment
I will never find you trustworthy.
'Why?
Because I have the right to change my mind,
When I decide?
And I am not concrete in any decision I make,
To declare I've made one to keep?
And I have never did anything to prove I have integrity? '
That's my feeling about you exactly.
'Well...
Everyone has a right to express their own opinion.
Even though I may not agree to that assessment,
You have of me.'
Remember...
I didn't express that assessment.
You just made it easier not to argue with you.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Brimming to the Rim In Denial
Brimming to the rim in denial.
Putting truth on trial.
But none of this rhetoric,
Escapes observations...
That can not be erased,
As seen.
No matter who declares,
What 'is' or is not obscene.
Truth is not another version of deceit.
To be interpreted to inspire a life of delusions.
And delusions have never strengthened reality!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Dissonance
The moon has cast its influence...
For all lunacy to abound--
A journey through your cranial matter...
Pounding out insanitys sound;
Your split persona has dominated---
Paranoia that is rife with spleen...
Ever so hard to digest your personal quest--
Difficult to grasp your outright mean! ;
Your 'delusions of personal reference'--
Seem to dominate your daily grind...
Revealing darkened edges of 'insanities poetic'--
The escort of the splitting mind;
Underneath The Umbrella
1974-2010
A poem about lack of keen eyesight
Mental illness and the inability to
Discern what is written about generally
And what is taken to be written about
Them...delusions of reference are
Often seen in strong paranoia...in
Schizophrenia and Bi-polar illness.
*Thought i had better clarify this
As there have been some whose
Paranoia or delusions took my writes
To be about them..
poem by Theodora Onken
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With Words To Express, Define Or Explain
Smothered under thick layers of lies!
Suppressed by deceptions,
That keeps them self obsessed...
To excuse with alibis.
And no longer accepting the affects of self examination.
With cleared and open wider eyes.
They are first taught to assume positions,
Of being the center of the Universe.
Although from where they sit on Earth,
No one knows where up or down is.
Or if they are witnessing the left or right of it.
They learn to judge,
From lessons learned from birth first...
That whatever else exists,
From delusions quick to depict themselves...
Flawless.
There is a need to believe this ridiculousness,
Regardless of reality...
They wish with attempts to reverse.
And to curse those who are conscious...
With broadening observations,
Sought to seek and within them thirst.
With restricting limits,
Many self righteous think of others immediately...
By values and standards crumbling beneath their feet.
But yet refuse to see their own self imposing defeat,
From a medicating on maintaining minds addicted to fantasies.
And denying the existence of truth,
There to reduce their increasing agonies enforced and produced.
No matter how overwhelming the evidence,
Of a need for them to awaken from a maddening ignorance.
They've become too addicted to free and release to leave behind.
And unfortunate for them are these times we live,
That are completely out of their control...
Unfolding!
For all to behold with nothing left to be said,
With words to express, define or explain.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Defects Affect
When a history kept,
Is left to be repeated.
And it becomes a comfort that sets,
Within mindsets to identify as not needing...
To assess and correct.
Because it is perceived to be the best yet.
That history kept,
With thoughts of it being better left as is...
As defects affect,
Fails...
From the lack of self assessment.
And can only achieve defeat.
To leave a disbelief,
Successfully chasing...
Concepts held together by those deluded.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Either Now...Or Later!
You are correct.
I could not agree with you more.
I have not been in touch with you.
Nor have I bother to call,
In a few months.
You have a song and dance routine,
I've seen and heard consistently unchanged...
For years.
Your ears remain closed to suggestions,
I propose.
And you say my life lived is delusional.
Since I choose to be uplifted and positive.
I find it incredible that someone like you,
Who quotes from scriptures.
And speaks in tongues with such fortitude...
That God would not listen with the utmost attention!
And your life would then have less,
Of a negative judgemental attitude...
Needing you to address.
Unless God and what I have to you to mention,
Isn't returning to you what your ears wish to hear.
The messages sent to you are ignored.
And your understanding of God,
Is a comprehension for you that isn't near.
However...
One thing I know is absolutely certain!
I am not as nearly as patient as God.
I have yet to be gifted with that kind of time to waste.
Or chase you in games of hide and seek,
While you take notes as to which quotes to provoke.
You are correct.
I could not agree with you more.
I have not been in touch with you.
Nor have I bother to call,
In a few months.
And right now a dialtone given to you,
From the bottom of my giving heart...
Is the only 'thing' I can see useful to you I can offer.
At least in my generous giving of it to you...
You can choose to quickly call someone else?
Either now...or later.
Or elect to sit...
In your own undisturbed quietness!
To you I hope a peace of mind comes.
Either now...
To appreciate.
Or later...
When only God knows,
Whether of not...
If this has been to your advantage.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Robust Thruster
I love life.
And the mystery of not knowing what comes next.
Like a roller coaster ride one takes.
A robust thruster,
With thrills absent of brakes.
Coming to take my breath away...
To leave me to recover,
As the adrenaline within me shakes.
This...
Is the life I love!
To experience like no other,
Animation made...
Within my mental state to date.
Teased and filled and free of safe escapes.
Adventurous is my mind,
When these moments come!
With temptation that persuades.
I can choose to relax and rest...
After my fantasies have pleased delusions,
I have put to test.
At least with a pen,
Or typed to give life to them!
I love life!
And the choice to choose,
To name each imagination I like!
Enjoying each ride as I decide.
Fulfilling a need that stirs inside!
However...
This one comes and I can't refuse!
It wants me to use it without excuse.
Until another...
Arrives for me to discover,
That satisfies my exploring druthers.
With this quick boost that comes to lift...
To keep my mind from becoming idled,
From other trips I have exhausted.
I shall entitle this,
'Robust Thruster'.
Completing it until its visit,
Leaves me breathless...
To select from limited words,
Attempted to depict it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hypnotism At Its Best
Some will say,
There is no magic...
In the tragedy of things.
However...
I beg to differ with this assessment.
Yes!
It seems that the tragedy has occurred,
Under the noses of everyone.
And no one will admit to noticing anything.
If that is not magic,
I don't know what else is.
And to have everyone awakening,
To what has been there staring in their faces.
Declaring they did not see what has been observed?
While others they have shunned to ostracize,
Have been pointing these observations out for years?
This is hypnotism at its best as seen reflected.
And 'now' people are protesting,
What they had digested to accept.
To declare themselves unwilling victims?
Who amongst 'them' has implemented this brilliance?
And...
To get everyone's focus on pointless rascist issues?
Tragic has been this magic.
Brilliant in its deception.
And hypnotism at its best.
Now will those awakening take steps,
To mend to heal from their self inflicted wounds?
Or...
Will they continue to accuse each other for being human?
Once this has been noticed to be seen.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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