This Is About Identity and Principle
What difference does it make,
Whose heart you take and break?
What difference will you fake next...
If you say you've made mistakes,
When those mistakes leave heartbreak...
Over again,
In a thoughtless process unconsciously taken!
And this is not about money,
Or being Afrocentric.
This is about identity and principle.
One's integrity and dignity.
This is about those areas of life,
That have never dawned on you.
Because you are just too caught up in 'things'.
And no one can pay for magic to happen...
If one's mind is already established in ego!
To adorn and impress,
A valued emptiness.
And...
Let me leave you with this,
When did you determine I was not Afrocentric?
Was it before or after you recognized I was not subservient?
Or after you obtained the benefit of my efforts...
Erased from beneath your footsteps.
And I had been freed with blood I left...
From displaying a humblizing ignorance.
You find to market is best.
Or was 'that' something you had been told?
By those sold on reaching for already polished gold.
You do not remember the days,
The path you did not pave...
Had not been laid with choices,
Do you?
But I forget...
You represent that generation absent of deeds.
Delusioned and free of struggle.
You just want to shine...
Regardless of who holds your spotlight.
Or who had paid to have that light shine upon you.
I knew those unafraid to be challenged by those paths unpaved.
And perhaps my comfort with that...
Leaves you opinionated that I am not aware,
I am black?
I just don't carry the affects of that on my back!
And why should I...
When every stride I glide is still followed!
And this is not about money,
Or being Afrocentric.
This is about identity and principle.
One's integrity and dignity.
And none of that do you represent...
As a means for your survival!
I can where...
And with whom I sit and eat.
That is something yet I can not do.
As I pretend to be unaware...
Of the closeness of my oppressor's teeth.
And you...
Could care less of who makes the mess.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A Welcoming Of Their Own Grief
I remember a time,
When being honest with integrity...
Actually made a difference.
People had respect for those,
Who used their minds and were direct.
I also remember,
When people were not so quick...
To protect obvious mistakes made.
Or wasted the time to debate,
A welcoming of their own grief.
I remember a time,
When being honest with integrity...
Actually made a difference to leave.
And people did not pass judgement,
Before they listened to comprehend.
And today people have grown accustomed...
To ignore the message to then blame the messenger,
For their mistakes made to say as if offended...
They should be forgiven for not being accountable,
As they played unconsciously until it became too late.
And I remember the day when I walked away to leave,
This insanity to embrace my peace.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Too Proud Of It I Have Been
It was never discouraging to me,
When at a time I had been accused...
Of not having an identity.
And I was breaking down barriers,
Blocked and barricaded...
By those who 'still' do not understand,
The purpose and extent of my creativity.
I do not exist to represent a cause or a group.
To spin circles around insecurities some pursue.
I am here to challenge those who make excuses,
For themselves to use.
And...
To state my talents are not ethnic based.
With limitations others may be accustomed to,
That allows them to continue their own self hate.
Seeking to be accepted and approved...
Has never been the shoes I walked comfortably in.
I remember being told I was not 'black'.
Because I dared to cross assorted boundaries...
At a time judgemental 'blacks' were uncomfortable to do that.
And sat unadventured around and behind walls,
Closing in upon their backs.
I remember being told I had 'sold out'!
By the very same folks...
Who today prance and dance about,
In places they once pointed me out as not being 'Afrocentric'.
And they wonder why more people like them,
Are not going to those places with a paying of their visits.
Only to arrive to announce their indifference.
Not to learn.
Not to accept.
But to reject,
The experience.
It was never discouraging to me,
When at a time I had been accused...
Of not having an identity.
Because I've always knew who it 'is' I am.
And for sixty-four years I've never tried to hide that fact.
Too proud of it I have been.
And comfortable in my skin.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Not Afrocentric Enough
Years ago...
They acted as if,
I was an embarrassment to them.
Not Afrocentric enough.
Even though I had identity,
Branded on my 'strut-and-stuff'!
My name, Lawrence Suhuba
Yuroban selected.
Doubling the meaning of my given name.
Suhuba (Lawrence) now Lawrence S.
Proud of my heritage and having no shame!
None to confess.
Today I 'strut' with my stuff all over the internet.
Doing what I've done most of my life.
And that's write.
And I might have been an embarrassment to them then...
But 'them' not feeling comfortable to be who they are now,
Should embarrass them more!
Since having no identity today,
Makes little sense since everything folks have lived for...
To impress with materialism has diminished in value.
And everything they are has been invested in it!
My head is held high...
Most times.
If I am not in deep thought!
And...
I might not have a dime in my pocket.
Most times,
My mind tells me I'm worth millions!
And I look to the ground,
Just to make sure I'm not dropping any of it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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You Want to Gain...What?
You want to gain...
What?
Fame, fortune and wealth?
To feel you are above everyone else?
To deal them with teases...
Just to please yourself?
You want to gain...
What?
Attention you insist belongs to you?
To set pretensions upon their point of view.
What does this 'really' do for you?
Would this erase your insecurities...
And those obscenities that you spew?
You want to gain...
What?
A dignity and pride...
With 'things' and objects,
You believe holds a head high.
Or eyes on you!
To be awed by a fake persona.
And left transfixed...
By your masquerading of it!
You clearly feel an emptiness.
And this you keep inside.
Nothing you choose to express to impress...
Will ever address what you deny!
And an identity unknown...
Seems to leave you depressed,
With regrets.
This is shown!
And moving forward beyond this...
With determined steps,
Will not gain you what you wish.
If you are too afraid...
To expose and admit,
Mistakes you've made!
But you insist...
None are there to fix.
You want to gain...
What?
A way to disguise your blemishes,
There and appearing.
Or a way to escape from your flaws?
No one finds endearing.
Which of these do you believe can not be seen?
You want to gain...
What?
Another life?
One you don't find,
So disgusting?
To live one that is lived perfectly right!
One you wished you had lived less distrusting.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Isn't It Ironic
Isn't it ironic,
That those very same people...
Who took liberties defaming others,
With claims...
Well,
In my case...
Were not 'Afrocentric' enough,
To represent a cause.
Or have an identity to present,
That was worthy of their 'ethnicness'.
Now find themselves,
With their 'down-to-Earthness...
Traveling to prisons,
Or wherever their children or 'grandchildren'...
May be buried after experiencing 'unlucky' lives,
Listening to unwise innuendos and gossiped lies.
And now stuck in their own wonderment...
With wasted lives depending on 'da man'
To send them a check to spend for food and rent.
Begging amongst themselves...
How they have been ignored,
By those showing no empathy for them to explore.
And isn't it ironic...
Those backstabbed to have others convinced,
Now live lives of peace without those pretensions...
Others who had afforded it then,
But have long abandoned any common sense!
At least none that their decisions provided them with.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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What Do You Believe?
we cannot say that we believe
in something, and then by our
actions, or even worse, inaction,
contradict it!
we are what we do, what we give,
and where we are standing at the
end of the day...
we all make mistakes, we all fail
on occasion, (i may be the worst!) ...
but the mistakes and failures dont
define us... how we react to them,
whether we take ownership of them,
and what we do to rectify them does!
the concept that anyone can reach
their dreams at the expense of anyone
else is false...
in order to restore integrity and dignity
to our lives, we have to have purpose...
and we have to have a deep level of
commitment...
we, and even our children, and their children,
are and will be governed by the results
of choices, choices already made, choices
being made, and future choices!
nothing happens by chance. we have no one
else to blame... and we cant put it on a
higher power... we cannot expect instant
redemption, or divine intervention...
it is up to us, as individuals, and as
community!
what do you believe? show me!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Through An Osmosisness
Unconscious assimilation,
To seduce one into conversation?
Perhaps.
But there are some with realities,
Who are distorted by facts.
And few comprehend that,
When they allow...
The comfort of their delusions,
To sit back and relax.
I have earned the right to express my identity,
With much flair if I dared.
From dawn 'til noon until midnight.
And doing it aware that I have not a care.
And if anyone expresses I do this and declare,
My arrogance to be unbearable.
And a dignity I pride...
Begins to choke with a coolness I carry.
As if I owned the air!
So be it!
If I flaunt a bit of obnoxiousness.
I've earned all of it.
The identity I pride with the dignity I don't hide.
I am not here to defend every step I've taken.
Nor those experiences life to me has personally given.
'Oh!
I can understand how you feel! '
Is that right?
What part of my life have you lived that delights?
And what hour of which day...
Have you said to yourself,
'Ignore what others say.
Keep your faith it will be okay! '
'Well...
I don't have to go through that process,
To understand what others go through! '
Hmmm.
I see.
So you're one of those folks who live vicariously?
Through an osmosisness done.
And challenging all obstacles that come?
'Well...
I don't have to go through that process,
To understand what others go through! '
Hmmm.
I see.
So you're one of those folks who live vicariously?
Through an osmosisness done.
And challenging all obstacles that come?
'Well,
I don't have to...
Forget it.'
That just expressed,
I can understand and accept.
As from you confessed.
There is no need to further address,
Your comprehension to suggest.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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His Light For You Will Always Shine
May the sun always brighten your path to lead your way,
let the sun warm your path to happiness and for you bring glorious days.
Never hesitate to stop and pick a flower along your way,
this to represent life to it's fullest extent.
If rain begins to puddle your path, look up to the Heavens,
if there's no sun, remember the light is still there.
The light of God's son will always shine for you,
just follow his word and on the right path you will stay
your whole life through.
Let the sun be your mirror each day, let it reflect
your beautiful memories of past days.
A blanket the sun will be for you, warming
you to your very heart, with ever ray.
In darkness, when the sun doesn't shine, God's son
will still provide a light for you. His light will always
remain in your heart, and be a guide for you through, all time,
Just look to the Heavens, the light will always shine.
poem by Ruth warren
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None Will Be Done Or Repeated
What do you wish to see from me?
Submission.
Weakness.
No depth of identity.
Or integrity I keep.
Mistakes I have admitted.
And my flaws are there to see.
However...
I have submitted to my weaknesses.
And my identity had not always been complete.
But if you believe I have not learned lessons,
I assure you none will be done or repeated...
To allow the same ones for you to teach.
Back off!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Money
Money money money
Everybody wants some
No money church can't run
Money for this
Money for that
No life without it
Can't sleep
She says hell
In this house
If she don't get it!
Before you get paid
Taxman grab it
Buy something
He grab it again
When money pressure hit
You cannot afford to get sick
Doctors want some
And if you dead without it
You will not be buried
Not even in the sticks
Money money money
It's like blood
It's the way world runs
Need money for food
Need money for fun
If you have no money
Blood a go run
Man join the army
To get some of it
Would be alive
If he had it
Money money money
Where is the money?
Have to get money
Before the day is done
Donkey cough
When you are broke
No money
Donkey don't eat
Everything stops
Earth can't turn
Have to have money
Even some to burn
Money money money
Where did it go?
Pocket is empty
And I just got paid
Maybe my woman took it
Thought I had it made
Thought I had a hundred
But I don't have twenty
Now I am in trouble
I have to leave yard
But I can't leave
If I don't have any
What a thing this is
Money! money! money!
Eh!
12/4/09
poem by Buxton Shippy
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Infestation Of Getting 'High' On Education
The increasing costs of one's higher education,
Provides 'what' as a guarantee?
Intelligence?
Common sense?
An ability to know the difference between...
Being accountable and responsible?
Competent 'with' integrity?
Does the increasing costs of one's education,
Automatically bestow pride...
And identity?
Or is one paying to network nonsense?
To ensure more of it becomes obvious as seen.
And we all benefit by the process of this...
Infestation of getting 'high' on education and not deeds.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Don't Give Up
I thought it was a failure, so I decided to quit
Not realizing success would come in just a little bit
I tried and tried and tried again but had nothing left to give
I knew that life it is so short, so I decided I would live
I left all I once valued and vowed to never look back
All I saw was emptiness and a world all full of black
So all my labor was in vein but I will never know
For the life that I have left behind I will never go
The pain and hurt and suffering and all I have been through
I lost a big part of myself, the part that I once knew
Now I'm old and wonder, what if I had tried
To chase the dream and find success, instead the dream had died
I wonder had I hung on more and maybe took a chance
Instead of a life of labor, I would have a life of dance
The one's we leave behind sometimes, are human and make mistakes
But never underestimate, the changes Jesus makes
For the odds they are against us, in a life that's full of sin
But I can guarantee you one thing, with Jesus you will win
So will you walk away from things, when your feeling down and beat
Or will you trust in the One, who can accomplish any feat
For he loves you more than you know and can complete any task
So remember you will never get, for something you never ask
So don't give up, keep trying. Or you will never find out
The victories that God will bring, that's what his plan's about.
poem by Ryan Lee Morris
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What Matters Is The Heart
Did you forget about the passion
Of living day to day
We keep our dreams locked down inside
And choking on a lifetime
And never take a chance
Wake up one day wishing you tried
And it aint about the money
It aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost
Or the things you think you left behind
And it aint about your losing streak
Makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
Lets forget about the notion
That were not the same
My blood runs as red as yours
We all get angry
Weve all been scared
Weve all made big mistakes
That can never be repaired
And it aint about the money
It aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost
Or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak
Makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
Look me in the eye
Take my hand
We can make a difference
We can make a difference
I know we can
If we forgot about the passion
Living day to day
We kept our dreams locked down inside
And choking on a life time
And never take a chance
Wake up one day wishing you tried
It aint about the money
It aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost
Or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak
Makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
And it aint about the money
It aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost
Or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak
Makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
song performed by by Jewel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Only Then to Find Myself
When I made a decision
To use the name I was blessed with
Adding a second name that meant exactly
What my first name means in a different dialect...
Folks got upset.
Because I wanted to perfect my identity!
Lawrence S. I was going to be!
People could not pronounce 'Suhuba'.
Thinking it was something like scuba diving.
And when I told them the name was Yoruban.
From true Egyptian/Yoruba tradition...
You would have thought those of colonial understandings,
Had thought I lost my ancestral mind!
I've known who I've been all this time!
I am defined and proud,
To announce my heritage out loud.
Originality?
Being free of subservience,
I imagine that is what is seen in me.
I have an integrity with dignity.
And could care less who is lost in distress.
I was there...
Before I awakened,
To remove someone else's brand!
Only then to find myself...
Disrespected by my own kind,
Whose minds had been completely brainwashed!
And free to think of themselves as insignificant.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Never Given A Chance To Happen
It would have made a difference,
If those experienced and willing...
To volunteer their time,
To secure the cementing of foundations...
Were regarded as friends.
And not threats to suspect of wanting,
To flaunt special attention given.
It would have made a difference,
If those who had nothing...
Accepted someone with something to give,
As a benefit to the environment.
With an advantage for all.
Instead of someone to ignore...
Defaming with a smearing campaign,
In a hope to see them fall.
It would have made a difference,
To the ones who now...
Have surrounded themselves,
In surmounting conflicts...
Creating their mental and physical ailments.
It would have made a difference,
If mindsets were connected...
To a discipline respected.
It would have made a difference,
But that difference...
Was never given a chance to happen.
It would have made a difference,
If opportunities presented...
Were recognized.
It would have made the difference!
But it didn't!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Find New Ways to Annoy
To those who annoy...
For purposes to gain attention.
And other conscious efforts,
Motivated by childhood deprivation.
Or something connected,
To a seeking not found.
Listen up!
Find new ways to annoy.
Don't just do it,
Because it is enjoyed and routine.
Make this a process of your creativity.
Revel with refreshed integrity involved.
Build upon it.
And you can...
Take pride that 'your' annoyance done,
Is second to none.
With an established identity,
Only you can deliver!
Only 'you' can prevent...
Hand-me-down-annoyances.
Make that your goal.
Think it over.
You can develop your own customed genre.
*Annoyances From The Heart*
Or something like that.
Just don't annoy for the hell of it!
Make it your concentrated area,
Of a deliberate artform.
And, If you'd like...
I'll provide you with a list of folks,
To test market your service.
I see success there for you.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Majestic Ecstasy
I wish I knew you before...
You decided to cry,
For the rest of your life...
With that state of mind.
When will you feel deserving to accept,
A happiness that is within your reach...
Just for you,
Free of past regrets.
Although I know it is unrecognizable.
Perhaps disposable as well.
And on that,
I am not willing to bet, yet.
Forget those promises and missteps made.
I thought with us we would clear the slate.
And be done of those mistakes.
With others who came to introduced to us,
Baggage with issues packed...
To share with us their every heartbreak.
I wish I knew you before...
You decided to cry,
For the rest of your life.
With that state of mind.
You can not be honest with me!
Not if you aren't able to leave,
That hypnotic bleeding behind.
When am I going to occupy some of that time?
When will I begin to see,
The one I knew who now plays seek and find!
I am yours.
But not a part of you...
Radiates onto me to shine.
I'd like to know,
More than one piece of you...
You keep for me and say it's mine!
I wish I knew you before...
You decided to cry,
For the rest of your life.
With that state of mind.
I hope one day we will really come to meet.
Before, during or after...
When we do,
Come.
Together when we together...
With a majestic ecstasy,
Come when we meet.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Catching Mistakes
When I was a young boy,
I enjoyed...
The freedom of not making sense,
When jumping over fences then.
When I...
Did annoy,
I employed...
A look of innocence defending,
A right to make up alibis.
I did not know,
I was denying in hiding.
Or protecting a falsity seen.
I was just a little boy.
And playing that 'little' boy scene.
But..
Today so much I've grown,
To show I have courage.
With a nourishing of integrity.
And today I want it known,
Dignity and pride I will leave.
And what that means.
When I was a young boy,
I enjoyed...
The freedom of not making sense,
When jumping over fences then.
When I...
Did annoy,
I employed...
A look of innocence defending,
A right to make up alibis.
But today I'm not afraid,
To say I've made mistakes...
That bother me.
And I,
Wish to be forgiven...
For not catching mistakes I leave.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What Matters
Did you forget about the passion living day to day
You keep our dreams locked down inside
Choking on a lifetime of never take a chance
Wake up one day wishin you tried
It aint about the money, it aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak, makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
Lets forget about the notion that were not the same
My blood runs as red as yours
We all get angry, weve all been scared
Weve all made big mistakes that can never be repaired
It aint about the money, it aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak, makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
Look me in the eye and take my hand
We can make a difference
We can make a difference I know we can
You forgot about the passion living day to day
You keep our dreams locked down inside
Choking on a lifetime of never take a chance
Wake up one day wishin you tried
It aint about the money, it aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak, makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters is the heart
It aint about the money, it aint about the time
It aint about the love you lost or the things you think you left behind
It aint about your losing streak, makes you feel like youre falling apart
What matters, what really matters
Is the heart
song performed by by Edwin McCain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Landing Of Aliens
Seeking sympathy,
Is one way to gain attention.
Claiming to be victimized,
Is yet another way.
But the best way to gain attention,
Is to maintain an identity.
Stride with integrity.
And be to others respectful.
One doing this,
Will stand out in a crowd.
As if to represent,
The landing of aliens.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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