Sabotage As Weaknesses

They would love to blame every blemish they have,
On him or her.
Them or those.

Their successes are interpreted as defeats.
They seek to discourage any positive beliefs.
And yet very quietly...
They sob tears with sighs,
That are heard behind closed doors.
Not to expose regretted emotions.
None to interpret as theirs...
But 'yours'.

Wishing not to have their insecurities made public.
As they admonish others for abilities...
They sabotage as weaknesses...
That feed to them their strengths.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Looking For A Leader

Fear inflicts the acceptance of restrictions.
And those afraid to carve their own independent way,
Facing obstacles and doubts...
Discover for themselves what life for them is about.
But will always feel inadequate,
When attempting to expose their own identity.

And unfortunately many living lives fearing,
Seek to be led.
With a looking for a leader approved by those...
Who only know what it takes to follow.
Since those who do have abilities to lead,
Are often opposed by the ones subjected to insecurities.

And people with those insecurities,
Seek those who are best qualified...
To represent the denying of every one of them.
Because the ones who express honesty and truth,
Always seem to threaten...
Those who do not.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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I Refuse To Say Anything About It

I am 'not' going to say anything,
About 'anyone' and their insecurities.
It is pointless to keep harping upon them,
When those who have them are clearly possessive.

And who am I to mention who is insecure?
You know what I'm saying?
Who gave me the right to perceive,
Those with insecurities feed upon them.
With a seeking of others,
To defend their weaknesses.

And that is one of the reasons,
I refuse to say anything about it.
I'm sure people with insecurities,
Know they've got them.

'Well,
I am glad you didn't bring it up for discussion.'

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Steven Soderbergh

I think I'm good at amplifying an actor's strengths, and minimizing their weaknesses. And they all have strengths and weaknesses.

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Conditioned to Feed

Isn't it easy to defame and shame another?
And in public profess to an innocence addressed.

Many are conditioned to feed on deception.
To protect themselves and insecurities.
While finger pointing and finding fault.
But not admitting to their own frustrations...
And/or to their own evil misdeeds.

People like this seek pity and empathy.
As they disable emotions of those too blind to see...
They are demons in sheep clothing...
Pretending to be in sympathetic need!

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Regardless of My Needs

Babysitting emotions,
Of those of aging rusty butts...
Does not set well with my adult outlook.
Since I know what it takes,
To pave the path I make.
No one has held my hand,
To prevent mistakes I took like a man.
And I can not stomach those who fake,
Heartbreak because of situations they create.
Or try to diminish their disasters done to others...
As nothing more than an oversighted blemish.
And hear them make attempts,
To run from their misdeeds like wimps!
I'm not living my life to run and hide.
Nor will I take the time to listen to others' sigh!
The strides I've taken...
I took as I cried.
Perhaps that is why,
Babysitting emotions,
Of those of aging rusty butts...
I deny.
And will not satisfy those weaknesses,
I put aside.
When I realize I alone,
Must comfort the healing of my own sorrows!
No one else but me condones!
Yesterday, even now and tomorrow.
Afterall...
I am a man.
And a man is 'suppose' to withstand,
Any stinging pain!
Inflicted with sealed lips.
At least that's what I'm told,
As I conceal my agonies!
With an expectation...
That others can dump theirs upon me just the same!
Regardless of my needs!
Or if I bleed.
My wounds I must contain!
And pretend my feelings have not been changed!
It is all insane.
But if I expose the pain I hold...
I must endure the shame!
That's why I make no announcements to maintain,
Or claim...
My manhood!
As I interpret it to be.
And given to me to explore!
Babysitting emotions,
Of those of aging rusty butts...
I ignore.

Dedicated:
To those of us who are expected to 'understand'
without an ounce of 'that' expressed to us!
We must realize there is a 'blessing' involved.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Of Our Own Making

We stand on mountains of our own making
and wonder what to do next.
The mountains represent pinnacles
of our defeats and successes.
If it is one of our defeats,
we should climb down and start again.
If it is one of our successes
we should stand and admire the view
and hope we can build a bigger one
the next time we start a new.

5 February 2009

poem by David HarrisReport problemRelated quotes
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A Task To Mask My Weaknesses

It isn't as easy as it seems,
To teach anyone...
Who has established a mindset,
That whatever is done which they do...
Is okay no matter what it is.

Betraying others with a disrespect to display,
Is a thoughtlessness that increases to test...
Others to accept a mindset,
Deep in selfishness.
And kept protected in ways unsuspected.

Until one steps forward to protest this disregard,
There will be excuses made forever...
By the ones who perceive,
Others exist to cater to their needs.
To leave them to do as they choose and please.

'You can say what you like,
But never again...
Will I be giving you another opportunity,
To perceive my giving...
As a task to mask my weaknesses.'

No, never again will you interpret my giving,
As a task to mask my weaknesses.
No, never again will you interpret my giving,
As a task to mask my weaknesses.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Behind Closed Doors

Written by new order
There is a secret place
Underneath a tree
Where if you go and haste
You will find a key
The key will open doors
And you will look inside
The things that you will see
Will open up your eyes
At any given time
On every other street
The city comes to life
Though everyones asleep
A man beats up his wife
He doesnt wanna keep
Behind closed doors
Theyre in retreat
I dont know what makes me stay
The city life just aint the same
Theres something wrong with kids today
I blame the parents anyway
Theres no hope
No one to trust
I cant cope
Its obvious
Please dont take my drugs away
Im gonna give them up someday
There is a place somewhere
That I could call a home
Id live without a care
Id never be alone
One day I will get there
I feel it in my bones
I check upon the scores
I listen to the coors
Behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
Behind closed doors
They still want more
Behind closed doors

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In Slow Accepting Doses

If I wanted to fuzzy you with cuddly,
That approach would be for you...
Not out of the ordinary.
That is what you seek to protect your beliefs.

But it is your delusions,
That squeeze life from you.
As if to aid in your addiction to be deceive.
In slow accepting doses.

And me?
I will never deceive you.
Is that the reason why when I am around,
You begin to cringe?
Perceiving me to be a demon.

Look around you.
You are the one fighting them out of my sight.
However...
There is something about their approach,
That feeds your appetite.
Am I right?
And I am just a reminder of your insecurities.

No matter how long you try...
You can not blame your insecurities on me.
I am not a fuzzy cuddler.
And 'that' I will acknowledge.

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You Are Not On That Road

There is no where to rebuild
Those shadows of weaknesses,
Behind doors closed.

No cracked and opened windows,
To overhear gossiped...
Or rehashed innuendos!

We live in these moments.
Now!
There is a clearing of hidden remorse,
And guilt.
Declare nothing meant to burden your load.
Give that back to the ones...
Who lived with masks,
And tasks that were shallow.
Those waters are no longer yours to tread!
Nor does a tear needs from you to be shed.

When you realize it is time to be distanced,
From someone...anyone!
Who in the past offered you resistance.
Ask these two questions...
And insist upon a response!

'How far is the lightening bolt from the ground,
Before it strikes? '
And...
'How far does a raindropp fall from a cloud? '

If they do not know...
You tell them,
You wish to have that space and more,
Between you and their nonsense.
There are Sun rays appearing on your path!

You are not on that road,
To be reminded of bad weather!
You tell them,
To remove themselves from your light!

And let them prove to you they can do it.
On your journey,
You are not seeking the company...
Of hitchhikers!
And let that be known.

There is no where to rebuild
Those shadows of weaknesses,
Behind doors closed.
And no where...
Are you to seek,
Substitutes to please!

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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It Is as Much a Sin to Not Recognize One's Own Strengths

The Torah teacher taught on Tisha B’Av

‘It is as much a sin to not recognize one’s own strengths
As it is to not attempt to correct one’s weaknesses
The spies refused to see the strengths of the people and the land of Israel
They reported on weaknesses and fears only’

Am I the spy of myself?
And do I do nothing but lament what I am not?
Why don’t I recognize
What I have done and what I can do?

I can after all write another small poem
Even if it means using the wisdom given on our day
Of greatest national tragedy
For my own small good.

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Qualms

Those sudden qualms manifesting...
Coming in an alarming harm,
To arrest with an unresting,
Of my possessed propriety...
May come to test my endurance...
But my experiences,
Thus far...
Has strengthened my abilities.

I keep the capacity of my capabilities,
Intact with self examination.
And doubts I don't leave to float about...
To weaken those beliefs,
That stood me tall on my own two feet.
To rid me of those insecurities perceived,
Hiding an incompetence within me breeding...
That does not exist in me to feed.

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Discreeted Deceit Defeats You

Your shame now shows a blemish.
You would like to diminish,
The exposure of it all.
But pretensions have dressed
An unconfessed illness manifested!
A cure has been found...
To surround with a painful healing.
Discreeted deceit defeats you!
And the leeches that have chosen to keep
Denials as a weapon to defend weaknesses...
Are shown to have fed their needs on division!

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Lightening is quicker than thunder

Lightening is quicker than thunder, for many their weaknesses are exposed first, latent powers in them manifest afterwards in unconventional ways. GOD help them if they are adopted with a narcissistic, self-adsorbed father with compulsion issues, denial, anger, rigidity. Also God really be their for them with their borderline mother who can't help but freely expose all of their children's weaknesses publicly while being blind to their strengths, abusing them for not living up to the conventional culturally marketed definition of greatness that the queen demands.


For some parents, not most, their is something deeply wrong with them, the only way to help them is for their adult children to get away, get away from them on as many levels as possible for very long time, for good is understandable.

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Sonnet: God Knows Us Well

The servant knows his master’s strengths and faults,
His expectations, needs, commands and love;
His driver knows wherever master halts,
His anger, weaknesses and patience, oh!

The spouse knows how the partner eats and sleeps;
His emotions and work-related stress;
And when his heart is fast or slowly beeps,
And how to help when him he’s in a mess.

The cat knows when to purr or stay quiet;
The dog knows when to bark or keep silent;
But what God wants, man never knows as yet,
Nor how to lead his life or spend the Lent!

God watches every creature that He made;
His love for man and beast will never fade.

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Unexpected Enlightenment Frightens

No one has seen the likes of this before.
Although all wanted to open new doors.

And when those doors opened,
To expose and disclose...
Those who wished to see fresh perspectives,
Now seek to keep,
All doors close.

Exclamations are heightened in negative exchanges!
A desire to return,
Where darkness kept their eyes from burning...
Produces a yearning heard,
By those disturbed by light.

An unexpected enlightenment frightens.
And this has caused them,
To flee in a united fearful flight.
A flight that divides,
The same people who once sought change.

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I think behind closed doors people behave differently no matter what period we're looking at, because people have to stand up straight in public but can slouch behind closed doors - can you imagine wearing those corsets?

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You always have certain strengths and certain weaknesses, and you want to compensate for your weaknesses... I have a real duty to earn the trust of the faculty. I don't just deserve it. I have to earn it.

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Little Discourage

I found a mountain on my own (I'm encouraged)
Trust history to say it's unknown (It's discouraging)
There's a seventeen contest in my own home (Discourage)
Sick of seventeen contests in my own home (Discourage)
Don't cross the road, you're under a spell
A broken violin (Discourage)
Don't cross the road, you're under a spell
Of broken violins
But all I need is a little discourage
All I need is a little discourage
All I need is a little discourage
All I need is a little discourage
All I need is a little discourage
I ran away from my own telephone (Discourage)
It rings to tell you what the future holds in store, so.....
There's a lack of confidence at home (Discourage)
When a seventeen contest fills your own home (Discourage)
Put your trust in courage, no one can tell
The broken violin
All I need is a little discourage
(The world knows what I need, but it's proving far too hard for me

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Doors That Slam

Doors that slam and shut real tight
usually happen after the fight.
Behind those doors tears do drop,
taking their time before they stop.

After they've dried and calm's prevailed
you wonder why it is that you failed
to recognize how you let tears creep
into your eyes that made you weep.

Surely this scene you've had before.
Stubborness and pride slammed that door.
The emotions of love get all mixed in.
It's then that your head goes into a spin.

But down deep inside what made you cry
is the ego you own and that is why
you are more than ego. You are all heart.
The door you slammed tore your own heart apart.

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