Qualifications
'Mister Pertillar,
Based upon your 'experience'...
What makes you qualified,
To fly a 747? '
I have flown in a 747 twice.
And I once walked the streets of Paris,
Behind someone wearing a Captain's uniform.
'Fabulous! Great news.
And you...
Mister Chester?
Same question.'
~First and foremost...
Giving honor to God,
With true patriotism.
I have flown 747s for twenty years as a pilot.
And I have also...~
'Very well stated Mister Chester.
However...
Did you or did you not walk the streets of Paris?
We wish to hear of your 'experience' that led to your qualifications.
Not your 'actual' qualifications!
Do you wish the question to be repeated? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Mister Moon And Mister Sun
Time goes so fast today. Don't blink she'll go away. Don't
close your eyes. Not for one moment. You feel so good right
now. You have to stay somehow. Don't let it slip. Let time
stay frozen.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. Don't think
that it's over. It's just begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our song has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let these
minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. My only hope would be. To stop the
clock. Let's keep this moment. I guess that's just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. So let us revel in our
time.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. It never is
over. Once it's begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon. Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our
song has only just begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon.
Don't let these minutes go too soon
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ditty Wah Ditty
(arthur blake)
Theres a great big mistery
And it sure is worrying me
Its a ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went out and walked around
Somebody yelled, now whos in town ?
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Some little girl bout four-feet-four
Said, come on, papa, and gimme some mo
Your ditty wah ditty
Your ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went to church, put my hat on the seat
A lady sat on it and said, daddy you sho is sweet
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I said, sister, Ill soon be gone
Just give me that thing that youre sitting on
My ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Then I got put outta the church
cause I talked about ditty wah ditty too much
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Moon & Mister Sun
Time goes so fast today. dont blink shell go away. dont
Close your eyes. not for one moment. you feel so good right
Now. you have to stay somehow. dont let it slip. let time
Stay frozen.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. dont think
That its over. its just begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our song has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let these
Minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. my only hope would be. to stop the
Clock. lets keep this moment. I guess thats just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. so let us revel in our
Time.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. it never is
Over. once its begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon. oh mister moon and mister sun. our
Song has only just begun. oh mister sun and mister moon.
Dont let these minutes go too soon.
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Banker
(ronnie vanzant -- gary rossington)
Mister banker
Mister please, how much does money mean
Won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
Ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
All i got, lord, is my guitar
But you can have that mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
Listen to how that sound
I would not be here on my knees
But hey mister banker
It means so much to me
Oh won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
I told you mister
I ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
I got me a 1950 les paul guitar
Won't you take it mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Always True To You In My Fashion
If a custom tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet
When the vet begins to pet--i cry hooray.
But i'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, i'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I've been asked to have a meal
By a big tycoon in steel,
If the meal includes a deal, accept i may.
But i'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, i'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's an oil man known as tex
Who is keen to give me checks.
And his checks, i fear, means that tex is here to stay.
But i'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, i'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From ohio mister thorn
Calls me up from night till morn
Mister thorn once cornered corn and that ain't hay
But i'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, i'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From milwaukee mister fritz
Often dines me at the ritz
Mister fritz invented schlitz and schlitz must pay
But i'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, i'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister harris, plutocrat, wants to give my cheek a pat
If the harris pat means a paris hat, pay, pay!
But i'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion
Yes, i'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Me
Once a boy named mister me bemoaned a great regret
I've floundered in the misty sea, but can't abide its mystery
I wound up sad, you bet
So onward go and edward ho into the bounding main
Enjoy the show look out below but mind the misty sea
Or end up sad like mister me
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
So take the hand of mister me and mister, make him glad
To swim the mister misty sea and cease the mister mystery
That mister, made him sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sitamoia
[chorus]
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Gidda gadda aga (?)
Sitamoia
Gidda gadda aga (?)
[chorus]
[chorus]
[chorus]
Hey mister can i shine your shoes?
Hey mister can i sing the blues?
Hey mister do you think it's gonna snow?
Hey mister my heart belongs to glasgow
Hey mister can i ask a question or two?
Hey mister what are we supposed to do?
Children abandoned and left to america
Children forsaken in ethiopia
Hey mister so you think it's gonna snow?
What about the children though?
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
[chorus] to fade
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sitamoia
[chorus]
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Gidda gadda aga (?)
Sitamoia
Gidda gadda aga (?)
[chorus]
[chorus]
[chorus]
Hey mister can i shine your shoes?
Hey mister can i sing the blues?
Hey mister do you think it's gonna snow?
Hey mister my heart belongs to glasgow
Hey mister can i ask a question or two?
Hey mister what are we supposed to do?
Children abandoned and left to america
Children forsaken in ethiopia
Hey mister so you think it's gonna snow?
What about the children though?
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
Sitamoia
[chorus] to fade
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kidding
A figure dressed in the finest attire
That money can buy
Laiden with assets to make an impression
On a strangers eye
And he lives in a palace
Surrounded by roses in a perfect picture
Hes in deep with the shallow
Hes fading cause he cant see the sky
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
A dinner with twenty people you hate
And theyre hating you more
Talking politely, its all a show
Tell me what is it for?
And your laugh is tale-telling
They follow but you know youre not a funny man
The truth is the meaning
And your life is that you wouldnt have one
If you were poor
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Yeah. . .
Such a shame, sir
Such a shame
Such a shame
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything, yeah
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody but yourself x5
Nobody. . .
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
song performed by by Imogen Heap
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Powers
Excuse me, mister powers
What do we plan to do today?
Yes excuse me, mister powers
What do we plan to do today?
Were going to 43rd street sonny
To hear them blues boys play
Well, its midnight mister powers
Where are we gonna boogaloo?
Yes, its after midnight mister powers
Where are we gonna boogaloo?
Were going to kingston mines boy
To boogaloo with sugarblue
Why, gentle mister powers
What will the morning bring?
Oh, gracious mister powers
What will the morning bring?
Well were going down to church child
To hear them gospel women sing
Well, tell me mister powers
What is the meaning of all this?
Please tell me mister powers
What is the meaning of all this?
It means aint God a good god
And all the glory is his
Thank you mister powers
You sure put the power in me!
Oh, thank you mister powers
You sure put the power in me!
Well, think nothin of it buddy,
The best things in life are still free...
song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Fox
Fields sing a winter song
Jack frost is here again
Dressed in a cape of the blackest black silk
Looking for his oldest old friend
But nobodys seen mister fox
No-one has seen mister fox
Reds and blues dart between the trees
And this time the sky is really falling
Jack looks hard through the bracken and the thorns
Listen hey! hear him calling
But nobodys seen mister fox
Nobodys seen mister fox
Fields sing a november tale
Jack is up, set to leave
And as he spreads his cape hes blissfully unaware
Of the wild eyes watching from the trees
But not does he see mister fox
He never sees mister fox
song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Please Mr. Postman
( stop )
Oh yes, wait a minute
Mister postman
( wait )
Wait mister postman
(*) please mister postman look and see
( oh yeah )
If there's a letter in your bag for me
( please, please, mister postman )
Why's it takin' such a long time
( oh yeah )
For me to hear from that boy of mine
There must be
Some word today
From my boyfriend
So far away
Please mister postman
Look and see
If there's a letter
A letter for me
I've been standin' here
Waitin' mister postman
So patiently
For just a card
Or just a letter
Sayin' he's returning'
Home to me
Repeat (*)
So many days
You passed me by
See the tears
Standin' in my eyes
You didn't stop
To make me feel better
By leavin' me
A card or a letter
Repeat (*)
( why don't you check it and see one more time
For me you gotta )
Wait a minute, wait a minute...
( mister postman )
Mister postman look and see
( c'mon deliver the letter, the sooner, the better )
Mister postman
song performed by by Carpenters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nickel Romeo
Hey sugar I had that dream again
I saw you in your red crushed velvet suit
Rolling on my feather bed
A cheshire cat in yellow beatle boots
(but) whos that stranger lying in your arms
Her fingers running down your tattooed chest
Valentinos cranking up the charm
And its coming like a freight train
These pictures in my head
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey, hey mister
Tell me mister, whats your game?
Falling, yes she will fall
Your latest victim bites her lip and sighs
Shes do these nasty things for you
Insinuating kisses on the sly
Oh I remember how you get your kicks
Preying on the innocent at night
Strange desperation-you gotta cop that fix
Making every little girl is keeping you alive
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey hey mister
Tell me mister, whats your game
Oh nickel romeo you got no shame
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey hey mister
Tell me mister, whats your game?
Hey mister nickel romeo
Everybody knows your name
Hey hey mister
Youre the master of this game
Because you got no shame
I think Im going insane
And youre to blame...
song performed by by Bangles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No More Mr. Nice Guy
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to church incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister 'Do-That-To-Get-Done-Doer
Mister 'Do-That-To-Get-Done-Doer'
Does what it takes,
To accomplish those deeds he needs
To satisfy.
Not one to resist,
Risky challenges that may exist.
Or will he run,
From those that persist with resistance.
He's Mister 'Do-That-To-Get-Done-Doer'.
That he is.
And this is the life he has chosen to live!
Mister 'Do-That-To-Get-Done-Doer'
Knows when to do that,
And not back track.
Enjoying the notion he does not slack.
Not him.
Dissect and remove,
If he has to correct.
He's Mister 'Do-That-To-Get-Done-Doer'.
That he is.
And this is the life he has chosen to live!
Nothing stops him!
And if he has to crawl,
To get done what he does...
He will.
With skills!
And a sacrificial will he has to fulfill.
Mister 'Do-That-To-Get-Done-Doer'
Does what it is...
He has to do,
To do what it takes to get a job done right!
And that is the reason he has been called,
To lead!
Dedicated To:
President Barack H. Obama
United States
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Speakers
"A equals X," says Mister One.
"A equals B," says Mister Two.
"A equals nothing under the sun
But A," says Mister Three. A few
Applaud; some wipe their eyes;
Some linger in the shade to see
One and Two in neat disguise
Decapitating Mister Three.
"This age is not entirely bad."
It's bad enough, God knows, but you
Should know Elizabethans had
Sweeneys and Mrs. Porters too.
The past goes down and disappears,
The present stumbles home to bed,
The future stretches out in years
That no one knows, and you'll be dead.
poem by Weldon Kees
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Parkers Band
Savoy sides presents a new saxophone sensation
Its parkers band with a smooth style of syncopation
Kansas city born and growing
You wont believe what the boys are blowing
You got to come on man
And take a piece of mister parkers band
Youll be riding by, bareback on your armadillo
Youll be grooving high or relaxing at camarillo
Suddenly the music hits you
Its a bird in flight that just cant quit you
You got to come on man
And take a piece of mister parkers band
We will spend a dizzy weekend smacked into a trance
Me and you will listen to
A little bit of what made the preacher dance
Bring your horn along and you can add to the pure confection
And if you cant fly youll have to move in with the rhythm section
Either way youre bound to function
Fifty-second streets the junction
You got to come on man
And take a piece of mister parkers
Clap your hands and take a piece of mister parkers
Come on man and take a piece of mister parkers band
song performed by by Steely Dan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Its Not The Way
We used to south of paradise
That was ok until you put your heart on ice
Walked out the door but you couldnt say goodbye
Hide away and left me lonely
When I asked you why
You wouldnt be precise
Now its my turn, start taking my advice
Its not the way that you love me
Its not the way that you care
Running down long back alleys
Pouting like a spoiled child
Youve been acting so crazy, driving me wild
Your heart is like an elevator
You tell me thats just human nature
Ive done all I can, I cant seem to change you
Its not the way that you love me
Its not the way that you care
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say
Oh no, its not the way
Your love is like a nasty habit
I finally got control but I just cant take it
I tried to be cool but I just cant make it
Your heart is like an elevator
You tell me that its just human nature
Ive done all I can, but just cant change you
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say
Oh no, its not the way
Love is tough, love is tender
Love will make your heart surrender
Love is sweet, love is kind
Love will always blow your mind
Its not the way that you love me
Its not the way that you care
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say
Oh no, its not the way
Oh no, its not the way
Listen mister to what I say...
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde
Hyde, Hyde.
Hyde, hyde.
Someone is spending my money for me,
Someone is spending my money for me,
The money I earn I never see,
The money i earn i never see,
In all things I do he interferes,
In all things i do he interferes,
All I know is trouble as soon as he appears.
All i know is trouble as soon as he appears.
Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Hyde.
Mister hyde, mister hyde, mister hyde, mister hyde, hyde.
When I drink my potion my character changes,
When i drink my potion my character changes,
My whole mind and body rearranges,
My whole mind and body rearranges,
This strange transformation takes place in me,
This strange transformation takes place in me,
Instead of myself everybody can see...
Instead of myself everybody can see...
Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Hyde.
Mister hyde, mister hyde, mister hyde, mister hyde, hyde.
Whenever you're with me make sure it's still me,
Whenever you're with me make sure it's still me,
I've got to the stage I can't tell which I'll be,
I've got to the stage i can't tell which i'll be,
The loveable fellow who'll buy you a drink,
The loveable fellow who'll buy you a drink,
Then when he's drunk his he'll change in a wink into...
Then when he's drunk his he'll change in a wink into...
Hyde, Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Mister Hyde, Hyde.
Hyde, mister hyde, mister hyde, mister hyde, hyde.
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Natchez Trace
(neil goldberg / gil slavin)
Oh, ho
He rode into virginia
Rollin thunder, ridin high
I was servin table
Waitin for that ride
My arms around his body
Well, we rode a thousand miles
He taught me how to love
He taught me how to fly, oh, ho, my
Hungry together
Racin the weather
Into the natchez trace
Warmin and feedin him
All the way to cumberland, oh, ho, yes
And I had his child in memphis
And we watched him ride away
And now you know what a girl like me
Is doin here today
Im sorry mister, you cant stay
Hungry together
Racin the weather
Into the natchez trace
Warmin and feedin him
All the way to cumberland, oh, ho, yes
And when the piper gets to play
Somebodys got to pay
And now you know what a girl like me
Is doin here today
Oh, Im sorry mister, you cant stay
Im sorry mister, you cant stay
Hungry together
Racin the weather
Into the natchez trace
Warmin and feedin him
All the way to cumberland, oh
When the piper gets to play
Somebodys got to pay
And now you know what a girl like me
Is doin here today
Oh, Im sorry mister, you cant stay
Im sorry mister, you cant stay, oh, ho, ho, ho
Sorry mister, you cant stay
Sorry mister, you cant stay, no
Sorry mister, you cant stay, oh, ho, ho, ho
Sorry mister, you cant stay
Sorry mister, you cant stay, no
Sorry mister, you cant stay, oh
Sorry mister, sorry mister
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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